I'm using "poorly rendered" for all my physical insecurities.

15:00 OH GOD PAPILLON. So back in the late 90s or early 00s, I was big on emulated NES games, and I downloaded a bunch of random shooters onto a school computer. I loved shooters. And Papillon was one of the ones I downloaded. It didn't have a description or anything, because it was on an FTP server. So, I loaded it up during a study hall, and was playing it, and suddenly neckid anime tiddles appeared on my screen. And a dude next to me was like, "DUDE WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT CARTOON PORN?!" Really loudly. And the whole class called me a pervert for the rest of the year. Fun times.

5:03 "Is this what's being a teenage male is like: just going through the motions in desperation of seeing some br****s that aren't that good?" Short answer: yes. Sad answer: also yes.

Yeah back in the 80's that's what being a teenage boy was.

I remember, in the early 90s or so, a friend's older brother had Strip Poker on the NES. It took a lot of begging to get him to admit he had it and show it to us. Pre-internet times were such good.

It feels like all these games are just about frantically finishing something by yourself, for what seems like very little payoff, and you just feel guilty and ashamed afterwards.... ....Maybe these games are more meta than they seem!! 😅

18:54 appreciate that you clarified that difference. People really don't know how to separate pure nudity and something in sexual nature. Thought that was unique to mention. Great video as well. For sure will begin binge watching your content!

I can honestly say the last couple of months your videos have been of a very very high standard, ive laughed, ive learnt and ive been entertained. Your editing is really crisp and the subject matter has been mostly different to the norm. Good work Octavius.

When will we see a proper deluxe coffee table artbook of these bold masterpieces? I'm being facetious but I'm actually also genuinely surprised if nobody's tried to crowdfund a book collecting all the 8-bit chunky pixel porn from these things

It was all about Leisure Suit Larry on the Amiga when I was a kid lol.

I don't know how I've kept myself alive for so long either.

Missingno? Now that gets me all revved up.

5:31 you be surprised how many out there can do it under 30 seconds! 😁👍

the friggin cat meowing in the background kept making me look around my kitty.

I play for the boys team so I'm just as baffled by the boob obsession. However, I have found these last 2 videos absolutely hilarious and fascinating.

Well, this being KZfaq, I was bound to stumble into here eventually

The weird voice that shouts at you in Mahjong Trap is actually cheering you on in Chinese.

Octavius: Disclaimer Aw yeah, dis gon b good

13:00 you underestimate how willing guys are to help each other out xD “nope it’s not gay cuz we’re looking at a naked chick!”

I mean. You asked. So a large part of my pre-internet early teens was spent desperately seeking out sources of seeing or almost seeing nudity. Woods pron? Yep, that's a thing. Men or other teens would secret-stash garbage bags into chests, hollows, or other places out in the woods so their wives or mothers wouldn't throw them out. Others would find these stashes, add to them, and pass the locations around to others. There was a kind of unwritten rule where if you saw someone else at the stash, you'd make sure they weren't caught. Clothing catalogues? I'd erase with a pencil eraser the ink then draw in the bits. Scrambled pron channels? Back in the day, the spice channel and similar would be scrambled. But the way that system worked you could still hear the audio and you could - if you were patient - occasionally see a momentary flash of content. I would sit next to my TV in my bedroom for hours late at night trying to catch a good enough image. As I understand it, the above are more-or-less universal experiences for teenage boys before the internet and during the early internet. Speaking of. Once my family got the internet, it was only in the family room on a computer shared by the whole family. This is the origin of the x folder. This is why we named it innocuous things. Why download and keep it? Because waiting for a 100 by 200 pixel image to download would take minutes. For perspective, that is roughly the size of one of the youtube thumbnails. Minutes. So we'd save them locally if they were good. Even then, we would only have enough hard disk space for a few hundred of those sized images if we were lucky. I remember that I printed out some of these images with the family printer that was out of yellow ink, so it was in CM_K and everyone looked purplish. Also the print head was clogged so there would be missing lines across the print. I cherished these grainy tiny blurry images. It wasn't until I went to college, in 2001, that I had internet fast enough for the early days of web video. These were the videos you'd skip today because they look like they were filmed on a potato. That was the height of high definition content at the time. If you managed to get a 600x480 video, you had the best looking content you could get. It would be advertised as super hi-def in the day. Most content was 320x240. So in 1990? Yeah. I would absolutely have yanked one off to those. No question. I'm not proud of this. I'm just being honest about it. ----------------- This has been heavily edited to try to keep youtube from deleting it (if it isn't youtube, but you, Octavius, let me know somehow and I'll leave it deleted or delete it myself.) I'm genuinely trying to be informative about what things were like. Good or bad.

Only just found your channel and have now started binging everything. Loving it.

Thank you for all that you do. You’re one of a very small number of KZfaqrs who are open about the mental health challenges they face, and it helps to remind others that they are not alone. I am glad that you are still alive and still here. Genuinely, thank you.

As a former teenage male, the answer to your question about what it's like, is yes. At least in the nineties/noughties anyway. 😅😢😭😭

11:42 im surprised the auto captions caught "Shagittarius and Crapricorn" perfectly xD chefs kiss on Eff You Nebula 👌

It looks like Rob Liefeld drew these games.

Only recently found your channel. You're unique style of video, and comical narration is brilliant.

I don't think I've seen anyone talk so much about god awful "sexy" games in my life and I absolutely love it. There's a ton of NEC and PC Engine "porn" games that are mostly questionable. Not that in would know...

1:23 There's a game called "Huge Insect". Probably the title lost something in translation. Edit: the Killer Melon makes me think of the Kamikaze Watermelon from the Demented Cartoon Movie. ZEEKY BOOGY DOOG!

Famicom? More like Fannycom! I'll get me coat. Bums.

We wholeheartedly appreciate that you have forsaken your sanity for us.

"Utter Clownshoes"... that's what the LADIES used to call me back in high school! I never did find out why though...

HAHAHHAHAH. Bravo, girl! I just randomly stumbled upon your videos, traveling down the KZfaq rabbit hole, but now I’m binging ALL your content. 👏 👏

There needs to be a documentary about adult nes and famicom games.

as soon as the rattie appeared, i went oojaboojabooja :I

I appreciate the effort you have gone to with a) playing these games and b) researching their similarities and differences. Important work.

I'd buy that mug. You should do merchandise.

Something dawned on me while watching this. Since these are all Famicom/NES Games it's fairly safe to assume that these were all released in the late 80's to early 90's. That being said most people I knew in the 80-90s typically had the one TV in the living room/family room where the NES or Sega was hook up. If that were the case and if you were an adult who wanted to play these "games" you would have to either be a bachelor/bachelorette or if you had a family you'd have to wait until everyone was asleep and play the world's most boring slot machine game for hours on the off chance to see a low resolution cartoon boob.

"grown woman playing shit games" i'm mid 30s and I live on twitch playing the SAME games usually, trust me atleast you have variety haha. I'm surprised as a kid I never came across any of these games but then again I was busy copying the turtles for the spectrumZX from a friends cassette tape using a hi-fi, what I meant to say is I definitely don't condone piracy.... oh it's ok they went out of business I should be safe xD

haha you still have it the humor that drew me to your channel in the first place another great video that cracked me up XD i had actually seen some of those from the previous video in a rom pack i downloaded lol anyways great video :)

My PC crashed while playing this video. good job; keep it up :D

Its O.K. time already? Your really starting to put them out!

My first time discovering this video and this channel. Seems very interesting 🤔. Going to have to finish it after I sleep.

Ah yes, one of my favorite offbrand stuff! STR*P MAHJONG!

You're on a roll Octy, best laugh I've had all week!

I am new to your channel and will definitely stick around cause that was an entertaining as hell video. Great content!

well. I watched it. I felt awkward watching it, so god only knows how bad it was for you actually PLAYING them! I'm gonna go and play something wholesome to rid my mind of these pixelated, borderline CP images that are seared into it! on another note, You have great content on your channel. good work!

5:52 - "No, that's not my arse, that's just a carefully placed hot dog in a bun."

Great metal fingers. Looks a bit like the Witchblade comic magic gauntlet.

Another great video really like your reviews on video games and video game genre's 👍

"Hardcore collectors." I see what you did there.

Someone please tell me.that games like this aren't still being made? Another brilliant video, looking forward to the next one.

What a great baubley video ! Love it glad you do vids on youtube 🥰 I think that sometimes too 😂👍

I remember one time as a kid downloading some pictures over what was probably 28k dial up. You really learn to appreciate Madonna’s no-no bits a lot more when they take half an hour to load in...

OMG, when you were talking about that star I almost stabbed my self with my floss thingie...

OMG this channel is what i've been looking for. A woman doing reviews with this kind of edit. Funny and also very informative. Keep going! Right now you have won a subscriber from Ecuador!

Jeez! I know that 8-Bit games may not have the greatest resolution and some visual sacrifices need to be made, but there is NO excuse for that artwork. If you ever experienced having an anime obsessed teenage kid sister back in the day, it looks like that kind of bad Sailor Moon fan art where they don't get any of the facial proportions right and they look like they have eyeballs melting off their Dorito shaped heads. Who even got turned on by this stuff? Magazines did exist back then.

I remember Ala Carte Kitchen! It was always high on the list of desirable items in the Argos book in the 80s 😄

A sequel to the last one...we are blessed 😁 Bottomless 8-Bit sleaze!

Great video as usual Octavius. You need to review Hollywood Poker on the Amiga. The dancer at the intro screen had some nice moves. If you want bad then try Sam Fox Strip Poker on the Commodore 64 LOL.

I had no idea strip Mahjong existed. My life is changed.

Hello Octavius. I was watching agvn when I stumbled upon your videos. A couple days ago freaking awesome. Long story longer. I also was a past cutter you can see the scars. Like yours are there faint but they're there. I too have a lazy right eye we might have been separated at Birth LOL just playing not trying to be creepy. Appreciate your content. Yeah used to get picked on because my right eye too. That video rang really true. Thank you from America.

I was way more distracted by “A La Cart Kitchen” than I should have been.

9:32 Self-deprecating humour...you can't beat it😊

At 8:49 the voice is saying “Jai You” (Chinese) directly means give it gas/add oil, like “you can do it”, “give it all you got”. A cheer of encouragement.

5:30 The real question is what am I supposed to do with the other 20 seconds?

Great video! Have some of the older Octavius videos been taken down? I'm looking for a specific video and can't find it.

"How the hell am I supposed to wwnk in that amount of time?" It's easy to do that and still have time left over when you are a teenage boy. Or so I've heard......

Great Video! It's very interesting and entertaining!!I Subscribed!!👊🎮💀💣💥

Your commentary was the only titillating part about those games. Thank you :)

when I made my first game for android, I checked for similar games and pyramid was the closest I could find to mine, so I'm looking forward to said review

As a fellow female gamer I commend your efforts Octavius! Although, as a fellow female gamer, not sure I ever need to see that level of pixelated knockers ever again! 🤣🤣🤣

16:49 "It's a mediocre card game with rape."--Greatest Quote of 2021.

i had to polish my atari xl stick controller twice during this presentation. top stuff.

I forgot how cute baby pacman is growing up

woohoo!! ANOTHER OCTY VIDEO!! LIFE ROCKS!!

Yes!!! Been waiting for this!

Great channel, just found it 😀

Damn! So, a company that became infamous for their terrible Bible games made a space shooter? That's shocking!

@Octavius King never have i laughed so hard than when i watch these videos." Ok boys you've got 30 seconds to get off to this half naked girl" Me:are you serious mate ?! I can't even unzip my fly that fast ,wtf game?!

Octav1us is your favourite wine aunt who also plays retro games.

Crack one. I love it. What is the proper name for the metal on your fingers? You are really cool.

Pleas tell me we can buy the "mard mug"

18:08 that lil bastard shark is absolutely adorable, not much else to say

"My god somebody put porn on the Family Computer!!!"

I was having a horrible mental health day... This video feels like it's coming down from heaven on the wings of angels...TY O.K. Edit: Hmm after watching the video my earlier enthusiasm might have been premature because I'm barely a few mins in and I'm already creeped out.

More Octy! Thank you :)

😅 hilarious stuff. You certainly put yourself through some shit for our entertainment! 🤣

This is such a rabbit hole

raotflsmism :) awesome video as always , you really are a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day , just keep doing what you do :)

Fun Fact - The earliest known unlicensed NES/FC game - 1986's "Super Maruo" - was a play-for-porn game.

Not gonna lie: Strip Rock-Paper-Scissors actually sounds like a fun time

My first ever job was programming fruit machines as part of a C&G Computers and electronic engineering YOP(YTS), JFM often shared stuff with the college which we could work on and I was actually quite cool in programming the 1024 reel combo's that they all had back then and once you knew where the programme was, it became quite predictable so much so a machine Reel Crazy I could empty with ease til arcade owners got cross and used sweary words a lot. Bellcrest I seem to remember had also predictable patterns and once it got to spin 1024 the machines restarted the pattern so you knew which holds were bogus, which nudges had the winners and they had sub routines say from a nudge where its like a railway passing loop, 4 reels and its back to the programme. Always avoided then any machines which had TT flickering somewhere, it meant the machine was low on money and was in clawback mode. The emptier the machine, the harder the gambles, nudges would be and less chances of a winning hold.

I'm amazed they were able to produce an unlicensed Famicom disk game.

Mahjong trap, eh? What sort of trap we talking about here?

There was a… LAAAAADY NIPPLE! (C) W.H. Snorkers 2021

Love the Baby Pacman joke, very nice, SERIOUSLY

I looked for my cat for several times until i notice the background music.

Beware the naughty famicom disk system rabbit hole. BEWARE.

Hey Color Dreams was involved in it, what a strange history of game programing. I remember back when Atari Lynx, Sega Genesis, and Nintendo Entertainment System were all trying to be that generation's competitor, they made Hellraiser but couldn't get the Intellectual Property rights. Now they are Wisdom Tree, best known for Christian oriented games... Wonder if they just like messing with Nintendo and Sega?

Holy moly, I was laughing so hard I thought I was gonna get an hearth attack😂