Does your partner struggle to commit, and seem to have a fear of intimacy?
One minute they are soft and cuddly, and the next, they are cold as ice?
Or maybe you struggle with these things yourself, and feel sick of falling headlong into relationships, only to wind up feeling bored, smothered, trapped, or worried about hurting your partner, just when things are supposed to be getting good.
If this sounds familiar, it’s likely high levels of emotional avoidance is sabotaging your relationships.
[ Not sure? Download your checklist here: bit.ly/AvoidancePDF ]
Notably, avoidance typically demonstrates itself in two distinct ways: fearful and dismissive.
Worthy of note, I equate individuals with fearful avoidant attachment, with disorganized attachment, whom I refer to as “Spice of Lifers.”
These individuals want connection, but also fear it, and tend to be suspicious and distrustful of their partner’s love, as well as their own ability to sustain a healthy relationship. They are hypervigilant with emotional cues, and often overly sensitive (and thus rejecting) towards even benign requests for contact.
Those that have dismissive avoidant attachment, I call “Rolling Stones.”
These individuals seem to be cut off from their emotions and are unable to reach the same loving and reciprocal emotional “volume” that their partners are capable of, and deeply desire. They just don’t pick up on or respond to the emotional cues in the same way, and often feel frustrated, inadequate, and criticized by their partners, who just assume they don’t care, or are being lazy.
It’s important to know which type you or your partner has, because the journey towards felt security will assume a slightly different angle in therapeutic treatment, or if you intend to pursue self help and personal development approaches.
In this video, we explore these two different presentations in greater detail, and offer a downloadable checklist and assessment for how to determine what type of avoidance you, or your lover, may be struggling with.
Download your checklist here: bit.ly/AvoidancePDF
I hope you enjoy the video, and be sure to comment in the thread with your thoughts and experiences for our livestream Q and A!
⭐WANT TO LEARN MORE? ⭐
Take the attachment styles quiz:
bit.ly/4LuvStylesYT
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