ŚB 11.23.50
जनस्तु हेतु: सुखदु:खयोश्चेत्
किमात्मनश्चात्र हि भौमयोस्तत् ।
जिह्वां क्व‍‍चित् सन्दशति स्वदद्भ‍ि-
स्तद्वेदनायां कतमाय कुप्येत् ॥ ५० ॥
janas tu hetuḥ sukha-duḥkhayoś cet
kim ātmanaś cātra hi bhaumayos tat
jihvāṁ kvacit sandaśati sva-dadbhis
tad-vedanāyāṁ katamāya kupyet
Translation
If you say that these people are the cause of my happiness and distress, then where is the place of the soul in such a conception? This happiness and distress pertain not to the soul but to the interactions of material bodies. If someone bites his tongue with his own teeth, at whom can he become angry in his suffering?
The soul has nothing to do with matter, but we can see how strong our attachment to matter is. All our connections which we experience are an illusion. The soul is witnessing all the emotions produced in the mind, and completely identifies herself with this performance.
Our false ego has tree aspects: 1) kartritva (I am the doer) - I am an achiever and I will achieve success, or I am a victim and everybody mistreats me; 2) karanatva (we identify with our qualities) everyone is a beautiful soul, but because of this journey through the material world we become a greedy or angry or enthusiastic person. And when we are interacting through these qualities, we are reinforcing false ego and we do become like this; 3) karyatva (identification with the experience of the body). False identity keeps us bound with the body and mind.
We should welcome all the bad occurrences instead of rejecting them and use them as an opportunity to keep us on the spiritual platform. But in reality it is difficult to witness even what other devotees are undergoing, what to speak about us. All these bad experiences which everyone inevitably has, are necessary for us to understand that suffering takes place within the mind. We can not control other people, they act the way they act, but our reaction is within our control. And we should tolerate everything.
Usually people take the reality, filter it trough the lens of false ego, and completely reinterpret it to confirm the false ego. We are in a fire of our suffering, and everything becomes a firewood for this fire to become stronger.
Being a victim is the best way to attract sympathy.
When we identify too much with the mind, with all these events, we become completely self-centered, it’s not possible to think about Krishna or anyone else. This is how the mind works, it always wants to put us in the center through all these mental tricks. As soon as we start blaming anyone we are perpetuating our sufferings in this material world.
We should try to distance ourselves from the mind and from everything what is going on at the stage of the mind. In this case we will be able to transfer our consciousness from the miserable identification with this material world and material body into the blissful identification with the spiritual world and spiritual body. If we train ourselves to tolerate then the cloud of false ego will be thinner, and the transparent nature of our consciousness will become more prominent.
Three qualities of our chitta: 1) svachhatvam or transparency; 2) avikaritvam or not transformed; 3) shantatvam.
Nobody is bad, the only bad thing is too much intimate connection with the mind.