INTPs: Somehow having a superiority and inferiority complex at the same time

As an INTP, I constantly juggle between "I am a genius" and "I am such an idiot"

I like how he knows we dont care for the nonsense intros and eloquences so he starts his videos saying "number 1" and gets right to the point

*What INTPs must never do IMHO: nothing.* Never do nothing; do something, do anything with your time, with your life, with all your ideas and feelings! Don't waste yourself. Don't waste your life or ruin your body by living some un-life in your own head.

It's remarkably easy for INTPs to attach ego to being correct. We just don't see that we are doing it. We become experts and, as such, we are too busy knowing everything to learn anything. We are so busy knowing the answer that we fail to listen to the question.

Any other INTPs struggle with the desire to learn too much, too often? Like an overwhelming feeling that you need to watch another video or read another article before you try something because you want to make sure you're prepared, but this feeling has started to get in the way of actually taking initiative, actually doing the thing, and learning via experience?

The times where I stop learning I am the most depressed and stressed....

Middle aged INTP here. 1) Attaching your ego to being right. Rarely been an issue. As I've told many people on many occasions, I question just about EVERYTHING, and nothing more so than my own reasoning. I know very few things to be true, but you'll have a very hard time convincing me I'm wrong on those few things. Everything else is up for grabs. 2) Stop learning. My learning has slowed considerably over the decades, but it hasn't stopped. My passion for learning has cooled, but it still flares up often enough. 3) Rushing into (or being rushed into) relationships. Ouch. Gut punch there. I got married once to an ENFP I'd been friends with for several years. It was my first marriage and her fourth marriage. I don't know that I "rushed" as such, but it was definitely a poorly conceived plan on my part and I glossed over all sorts of issues and baggage we both brought to the relationship, imagining all those pesky details would just work themselves out organically. Yeah. It didn't turn out that way and she eventually divorced me. Wasn't a good time. Emotional scarring ensued. Won't be doing that again.

The relationship thingy hit me hard tbh. Someone tried to rush me to get into a relationship with him, but he is just a friend to me, I don't like changes and being rushed into anything is like suicide for me. After his confession, I rejected him right away and told him that I am not and never ever gonna settle with anyone, but I will continue on being his friend. He couldn't accept it, so he stalked me the whole fucking semester! I'm so scared and fed up, I asked my parents to transfer me to a nearby college, they agreed but only if I get the highest GWA for second semester, which is good because I love challenges and studying took my mind and time from worrying about that psycho guy. Thus, I transferred and became fucking smart. Lesson: I knew why I did that now and I am not an asshole for not letting people rush me into getting in a relationship.

My mother often chided me for being a know-it-all after I corrected her hearsay. I don’t know all but I dislike her tendency to believe any tv presentation on fitness, health, and politics without analyzing. I always say to her “if the guy on tv told you to eat shit to live forever, would you do it?”. I don’t do things without investigation, research, and incubation. It is hard for me to see people just buy into what they hear.

I love the fact that the video starts right away. No useless intro.

When an artist puts hundreds of hours of effort into constructing a magnificent Opus Magnus of a piece they can rightly feel upset when a heathen amateur "art critic" comes along and basehs it to look clever. When an INTP puts hundreds of hours of effort into contructing a magnificent logical argument founded on observable facts and provable data and a heathen amateur philosopher comes along and attempts to knock it down without any logic or facts but merely illogical "reasons"...we can rightly feel upset.

Yep... 40 and still going back to college this fall... partly because I'm bored 😂😂😂 Help me 😰

1. Question everything. Don't assert anything. Maintain that intellectual humility and be open 2. NEVER stop learning (personally, learning about something gives me a lot of happiness) 3. Do NOT rush into relationships

1) You're right. I am in my zone when I deal with uncertainty and paradox ideas than most of my peers. 2) It's hard to do when you're stuck in a routine or mental rut. The best way to stop learning is to be physical shut-ins. I lost five years of my life (plus two years due to pandemic) because I stayed in my house far too long. 3) My problem is being cynical about being in love than rushing into it due to list number 1 and 2. Great vid!

"So I've heard" *nudged eye brow. That was super epic! :D

i felt so attacked when you started talking about the relationships

i say that i'm right until you prove me wrong, i keep my mind open to other possibilities or informations that i don't know about and keep my ego aside because i value truth over anything

There is not a single thing I can think of that I am 100% sure about. Even something like is my mom my mom, we have had DNA tests that shows she is, but what if reality isn’t real? As for learning, I can’t imagine losing interest in it. Relationships… I will think about it. Maybe. Probably not.

When arguing, the greatest weapon isn't certainty, it's uncertainty. You don't use answers to win, to find the truth, you use questions. Constantly question the assertions of your opponent. What would it look like, if your opponent was correct? Is that reflected in reality? You don't say "I am right," you say, "If your assertion is correct, then when we test it in such a way, why do your predictions not align with reality? Wouldn't the tendency for certain outcomes to come from specific circumstances be better explained by this model that accurately predicts them?" Detaching the ego from fact and argument isn't an end per se, it's a side effect gained alongside the ability to argue correctly. If you're arguing correctly, detachment is an inevitability.

Detachment is a tricky issue and probably not possible to attain completely. Current Dalai Lama is a good case study. With life long training in meditation, self-sacrifice and transcendental.contemplation, the Dalai Lama has lost his cool in.recent years. One can come up with very valid and long list of reasons for letting your ego to come forth to express your convictions but point remains that self-detachment is selective and mostly a delusion. I think the best a thinking person can do is to know their biases very clearly and validate or invalidate those skews with knowledge and experience.

Number 2: uh, if I ever stop learning, it will be because there's nothing left to learn. I'm genuinely terrified that that day _might_ exist, to the point that I'd rather destroy the universe and make a new one just to learn more than just bask in my knowledge. Not learning sounds like not breathing to me.

Very insightful I must say, especially the relationship aspect of the video. Rushing in a relationship will almost always breed feelings of loathing for the other person.

It feels like the more you learn and explore, the more you realize how much you don’t know. Other people don’t even know how much they don’t know.

As an INTP I've noticed I watch football and when a goal go's in a momentarily loose interest. Sometimes I cant even describe or remember the goal to a friend. But I can tell you intricate things tactically that were going on.

Happy intj overhere but recognize similarities..😁😂🤣🤩😚🙄

As an INTP I never find myself to having any conclusion to a topic, I just find that I've been updated on the topic and collect that information to reflect on what has already been studied and analyzed. I don't attach my ego to information that I tell others rather I get frustrated with the lack of knowledge out of my counterparts that when they disbelieve the information to be true I just know that they didn't put in the effort to go look for themselves. I guess you can say there maybe some ego there but if my counterparts put in there effort to find truth as well we can have a dialogue, but it ends at the surface level of knowledge, I'm deep in the rabbit hole and I'm inviting others to dive in yet they find the dive to be too deep.

I don't know about INTPs specifically, but perhaps for Ti users in general, the main trap that concerns me is the reliance upon one's internal logic without some kind of external verification. I see this most in the ghastly arena of identity politics and all the arguments surrounding it. People seem to think that just because they have a line of reasoning for something that they are therefore right and must be correct. Ti is only as strong as the data being fed into it. When Ti is mixed with confirmation bias and attribution error, it can be a very dangerous combination that can lead to catastrophic mistakes in the outside world.

Really great concept Nathan, can't wait for the other types! :)

Excellent advice. Thank you.

Good advice. My first thought was, don't do number 3 if you haven't accomplished number 1! Righteousness can make us dogmatic about a position when hurt or tired, allowing us to rationalize the use of cognitive bias and other missteps in defense of our ego. Then again, a relationship might cause you to do number 1! But at least you will be working against number 2 when that happens!

I disagree about certainty but agree about arrogance. If you arrive at truth and know it then it's okay to help teach people and be confident in it but yes stay open minded to new possibilities

Man you're awesome. Really valuable videos, helps a lot.

Thank you for the reminders :)

Certainty is safe in regards to the point that rushing into a relationship is something no one should do - and those who rush others know little of appropriacy and likely don't care a hoot for one's happiness ... it's insane how entitled people are with their ignorance

I love how you got right into it

Great, great video, thank you VERY much!

I have always attached my ego to the belief that I am right. If I am not, come and prove it, I'll listen. But to disregard my views, overrule them etc. without an explanation is the most humiliating thing that can happen to me, and it often does. 😭 So would this be the same an point #1? Or is it different? If I stop this practice I fear I lose my identity/self/however you want to call it! Dreadful idea.

I can't thank you enough for starting the video right away. Seriously.

Excellent content as always

I realise I'm often capable of avoiding trap 1. But when I fall, I fall hard. If that happens on top of a Ti-Si loop, usually there are only 2 ways left to convince me: 1- Show how your framework is also internally consistent: It takes a lot of preperation to withstand my ruthless probing into that "alternative" approach. If and only if the person suggesting that alternative answer is able to withstand and show that their system is doesn't have major inconsistencies, only then I begin considering that approach. Even then, I may not fully embrace it, although I tolerate it. 2- Show me how my premises are incorrect: Usually, people attempt to argue the logic, or dismiss the hypotheticals, and both are big mistakes because if you attempt to argue the logic of an INTP in a Ti-Si loop, you're going to lose. If you dismiss the hypotheticals, (that's often what Te-Si or even Ti-Se users do while arguing with the INTPs) then your framework might be "partially correct, but inconclusive, so I'm gonna stick to my more comprehensive framework" kind of a system. They may see its merit, but likely will not adopt it, sticking to their original ideas because it's more comprehensive and likely closer to the truth, and you haven't shown why they're wrong, you've just told them theirs is irrelevant (well, not to the INTPs). In these cases, I've observed that what Te-Si or Ti-Se users mean with "that's irrelevant" about some hypothetical falls into the category in which INTPs premises are incorrect. This is a difficult approach, however, because it's often the unvoiced premises or hidden assumptions that exist within the framework that cause the problem, so be vigilant and dig deep. Feel free to ask whys to the INTP. An example for hidden assumptions ruining a conclusion: Pascal's wager. Briefly, it is an attempt at showing why one logically must believe in the God (if you're wrong, you have finite losses, but if you're right, infinite gains; also if you don't believe and if you're right, you only have finite gains but if you're wrong then you have a ticket to Hell, an infinite loss). He assumes there's only one possible God to choose from, but considering how thousands of different gods from different religions there are (and some with crueler Hells, hence technically more logical to believe in them than the Christian God or idk any Abrahamic God), this reasoning alone is not a sufficient reason to claim that "logically, you ought to believe in 'the' God."

As an INTP, it's sooo refreshing to read these comments. Unlike commenters on most other channels, you're all articulate, introspective, and concise.

The first one 💀 I've had this obsession of getting perfect scores and recitations but failing to keep up the other aspects of my grades. I later realized that it was due to my obsession of being "correct". I've kinda let that part go a bit but I suppose it still lives within me but I don't feel so disappointed when I get stuff wrong anymore. I agree with you as well. Frustrating as it is, we are hardwired to doubt. Things aren't set in stone and being quick to understand that helps a lot in maturing. Of course, it's hard at times because we INTPs often never find a conclusion. But at least we don't easily make mistakes we can regret.

Thank you, I needed to hear the number one

A common human failing is falling victim to the 'Sunk Cost Fallacy', especially when it comes to investing in ideas. Sometimes it's best to remove ego from a position and make sure you really are evaluating things rationally and not just defending a position because you are invested.

As an INTP, the first point is 100% accurate. Unless you're a nuclear technician at Cherenobyl trying to avert an imminent meltdown, one of two things is probably true: 1) You're more-or-less right, but approaching conversations from this perspective is suboptimal... your first instinct should be to ask, "Since this person is wrong, what is going on? why do they think this way? Maybe I'm not quite as right or they are not quite as wrong as I think. Or maybe they are. Either way, I need more data..." OR 2) You don't understand as much as you think you do. Since we understand so much, this is hard. But as I grow older, I learn more and more the truth of Socrates, the ultimate INTP: "I am wise because I know nothing."

😂. I loved this. Laughed all through.

#1 is super important! There's always another data point. Ideas, not beliefs.

He exactly knows what intp look after Directly starting with number 1

Please add: "talk to your partner" (instead of breaking up with them suddenly after 9 years)

Another thing for INTPs to watch out for: Never take personal advice from an extrovert, especially someone who strongly expresses this personality trait. It will not work out for us, because they are completely unable to intuitively understand us. Just use what they say as data, carefully considering where it comes from. This also applies to other introverted types to some extent.

Thank you！

Yep, I've had to walk away from events and groups that I like because I lost objectivity and humility, it soured, and thus couldn't see spending any more time or energy in a less that satisfying endeavor. If I suspend my ego and certainty, I can and do go on indefinitely even in less than ideal situations and still find ways to enjoy. It's a choice.

Yeah, even if I am fully aware that something is basically definitively correct, I still typically add in the clause along the lines of ‘most likely’, ‘probably’, ‘I think’, etc.

I am really bad at asking questions :( but i should try it, i guess it would make conversations more interesting then just them nodding and saying your right and the conversation ends.

You are so funny in an underhanded way😜

Having raised an INTP this video may have been useful. 😂

(INFJ here) Thanks for the insightful video. I was in a long-term relationship with an INTP. Things were not going well, and we were both being held back by the relationship. Not to mention both miserable. He lived with me, and it took me two years to get him to move out. I had to make him despise me in order to get him to leave. It broke my heart as I genuinely love him. A year later, he wrote me a letter thanking me for having the foresight and strength to do what needed to be done. I hate that it ended so badly that we cannot speak again. I had to door slam him. Sometimes an INFJ door slams one of the people they love the most for their own good.

You are awesome 🤩

If I’m ever in the position of proving myself right, I’ll completely go against myself afterwards if the result settles things too well for others in a way that they agree but not fully comprehend to the detail.

The Socratic approach is the best method regarding questioning and reasoning. In my humble opinion as an ISTP. 👍🏻

The "stop learning" risk is to me as an infp with an intp partner very interesting. I am cusious and still learn a lot because I feel restless at some point if I don't. I feel like as if my brain cells die. My intp kinda stopped learning because he hated school so much but he enjoys that I am cusious and make him watch stuff and talk about things with me. I feel he is enjoying that I pull him out of his boredom. I can talk about everything that any other person would be bored of and he just listens and is enjoying the fact of learning. My intp is definetly addressing a problem he has with me only if it's bugging him a lot. Even if I say "tell me" he just says "no it will offend u and make u sad" and thats frustrating to me because I want to be a good and supportive partner to him. Eventually he gets out with what is wrong, so I wait. But yeah, he is mostly not into addressing emotional topics (besides how much he loves me and how much he is happy he met me). But because he has that deep urge to make sure I am happy and well he gets out of his comfort zone and talks about it. I know he feels uncomfortable if I get very emotional (infp, I can't help being emotional on an emotional topic). Usually when I am really angry or hurt I write him WhatsApp messages and tell him there because it's easier for me to break down what is the issue without showing too much emotion. After I did we usually talk about it face to face. It's the best way because he gets extremely rude and hurting when he's angry and I explode and don't wanna talk to him anymore. So yeah, conflict management is still an issue but we work it out. At least I know that conflicts draw us closer instead of separating us because in the end of day we want to solve and fix it together.

Stop learning is definitely something that I don’t want to do. After graduating college, there was a half year period where I just went between my two part time jobs and played games. It had never been more frustrating. I signed up for online courses covered by my country’s government at the soonest time possible.

5:20 Bruh. This is me when looking for people around me. My ISFJ sister is my caretaker so I don't think I'd have a problem on number 3.

As an INTP: I have accepted that I am an idiot who seems smart but to really smart I am dumb

Sure I like being right. That's why I am always open to finding out I was wrong. When I find out I was wrong, I become more right than I was before. And yes, rushing into a relationship can lead to disaster.

On the 1st reason, I always stop myself on being certain... because people are very complicated. The problem would be that I always doubt myself and are never certain.

My problem with #2 is that I wouldn't want to leave college, IF it wasn't too rigid with its ways, and I can't fault it for it. I really don't because I truly do love learning, but the problem is that the majority of college isn't about learning anymore. Bits and pieces aren't enough for me to stick to it. Maybe it's just me wanting to see scholarship at its purest light, back when there are still things that needs uncovering but, you know... that's just the issue with the world nowadays. University is simply just about the schedule, the status quo, and the requirements. There's a lot of things to be done, yet way too little room for freedom of action and thinking. Inb4 "just do what you're asked to do", hahah NO.

He is so much accurate then the Newton theory of gravity I also seeing the same thing inside me that's great there is absolute great and accurate for any INTP

Actually, this makes sense. My father had me hired at his job so I could make great money and buy a car. I was never focused on getting a vehicle in my teens but only on accomplishing my personal goals. It didn't help that I would spend most of my money on video games, anime, and computer stuff, so instead, he would look after my money, and at work, he would have me work hard every day. This job was landscaping, so you can imagine how much I hated it. Regardless, it got the bills paid, and with the money, I bought an Infiniti G37. Over 200 HP, and it drives smooth! I need to learn to be more social, which would help me make new friends. Also, are INTPs afraid of being social with Women? I feel a particular fear towards them, not sure why..... Maybe I dislike social convention, or Is it that Women can have this explosive personality while I'm over here cool as a cucumber and just thinking? Maybe I just overthink things and need to invest in my feelings... This is difficult indeed.

I have never known INTP's to be the sought to rush into relationships

What if an INTP finds after several failed relationships and a few heart breaks he reflects and come to the conclusion that romantic love and attachment are biological mechanisms to ensure the organism pursue and sustain relationship which will increase the chances of having offspring and cooperating to rear said offsprings? Essentially, love is a trap.

It is not even slightly hard to fall into a relationship. It can take decades to make it go away.

Never stopping learning is 100% true. The internet can be filled with vapid nonsense, but can also be an amazing learning tool when you find qualified and knowledgeable content creators. I love Sci Show and John and Hank Green. Find great experts in their field and let it open the door for exploration.

Oh, the irony of being emotionally invested and attached to facts and reason! We logic-driven types are human after all.

I pick a number two I do keep a date with you, I'm taking advantage why you keep me at the time but

Okay, I have a catch phrase I developed after becoming too attached to my assertions and being proved wrong. I either learn that I'm right, or I learn something new.

I think no.1 is something that INTPs are very, very often perceived as doing by others, but that they seldom actually do. No.2 seems inconceivable (and yes, that word means what I think it means). No.3, yeah that was a YUUGE problem earlier on.

I married an ENFP who does “ take care of feeding me and getting things done “. Have never felt domesticated at all and things like picking furniture and paint colors give me a headache. Most women love that and I can’t bear it. We are a good team- we complement each other. Spot on about emotions- I don’t like having them and he is full of them. We have worked that out too 😂❤

This was helpful to me, what would be the three things an istp should never do?

"Stop learning" Me:"what do you mean?😑😐💀"

@4:38 Infact it is Oftenly.. Stupid Things.. LMFAO... 🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏻‍♂️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️

#2 literally gave me anxiety

Yeah, im at that stage in life in which i find myself asking: why shouldnt i do everything, underlings only fuck it up anyways Delegating feels nice, until you need shit done.

I think the secret for us is that that line you showed at the beginning is actually a circle. We start with a conclusion of some sort, then investigate the hell out of it, which results in a new conclusion that can be investigated, just like the previous one was. And on and on. As long as we're moving along that circle, we're okay.

I tried to not be a keyboard warrior but I can't help myself. The thing is in like 98% of the cases I'm never wrong about something I start an argument about, so when I win that argument it definetely strokes my ego. Sometimes i feel like a total douche for my mentality. "Why can't everyone just stop being so dumb" I have been called out on being cocky so many times for correcting people. And obviously they're wrong, which makes it all worse. I'm aware the feelings I have are irrational cause how could I be always right? I always try to keep my feet on the ground, but it's like my brain just rejects the rational thinking and makes me forget about a big epiphany I have. It's like I know the words and what they mean but I can't fix them into my mind, much like when you're reading a book and read a sentence over and over, you know what everything in the sentence means but you can't register it for some reason. The only way i can get my brain to work is to manipulate myself.💀 Sounds dumb I know, I need to find alternatives because the truth is outright rejected. Alternatives to "I'm the most knowledgeable being in the world", I'm using the "I'm not the most smart person ever, everyone else is just dumber than most" approach. Which is still irrational and narcissistic but I have no the other way to attenuate these feelings. It could be I'm just a narcissist which I don't think is out of the picture, but I wanna hope that I'm just out of touch from reality,from not interacting with people for so long. I never feel lonely when I'm alone but at some point it definetely does things to my head that are way worse than loneliness.

I feel attacked.

do isfj pls♥️

I'd rather be wrong in the beginning and right in the end than right in the beginning and wrong in the end.

I am right though

I actually found out how much I love science because how much I love art Fun

#1 is more easily adopted with a practical approach. Are people trying to avoid admitting they're wrong when they focus on your need to be right? Yes, but that doesn't imply the opposite. So, it's just practically a better experience for the INTP to avoid #1, despite seeming like it "shouldn't" matter.

You intellectuals need to realize that truth is something to be discovered, often imperfectly and over many iterations and on many levels, rather than something to be owned, walled off, or defended, as is often done in academia, business and other venues. Discovering the truth is like walking through nature. Stop and admire from a respectful distance. Don't pollute or destroy.

Are you certain we should stop just before being certain?

ENTP but still a somehwat accurate video. !

1. One of my biggest arguments with my ex wife was whether on hot days black clothes (me) or white clothes ( her) kept you cooler on hot days. Put the kids off doing physics. 2. Must remember the Simpsons isn’t real . Homer is not an aspirational hero. Homer is not an aspirational hero.Homer is not an aspirational hero. 3. But I’m desperate. Ok so 2 out of 3. ( Great work)

but keep in mind... some things have so little credibility, it makes you second guess basic reality when those things speak up on basic truths.

"Rushing in to relationships " not good for infj,infp too .

Attaching my ego to being right is my only reason to live. Until I am completely proven wrong I will believe myself to be a god amongst men before diving into another deep depression for a few days.

so, an intp would be like having a pet: caring and feeding them?