1. Don’t call important things “cute” 2. When he’s dancing don’t say he’s “funny” 3. Don’t make him feel like an idiot

"You're short." "You're like a brother to me." "Let me tell you about this cute guy I met..."

Whenever I text a guy I think "Would Matt approve this?" I have gotten so good at not being aggressive or emotional but playfully getting my point across all the while seeming unbothered. Thank you so much Matt, you have totally changed my perspective.

This is true for anyone who wants to build any kind of positive relationship. If a person wanted to impress a manager for a promotion, they would NEVER say any of these things. No one with tact and a heart would tell a child that, either because even they would feel demeaned. It's a sad day and age when we must advise adults against belittling someone's efforts, intellect, or abilities in order to have a healthy relationship.

you need to give tips to men too cause ALOT of them be FUCKING UP ON A DAILY BASIS on dating or talking to girls or how to treat women smh.

Pshhh, humor and sarcasm are my defense mechanisms. Teasing as flirting is basically the only game I've got xD;

Growing up with only brothers, this is ALL true! Guys like teasing, but if you’re like straight up bullying them by emasculating them, they will sideline the heck out of you.

This makes good common sense. With whoever you are interacting with. No one wants something that is important to them to be belittled, no one wants to be teased about something like dancing, dancing is suppose to be fun, why make someone feel self conscious? and when someone doesn't know something and they are willing to admit and share that with you, they are being vulnerable, and honest, to which it is kind and considerate to respond by not making the other person feel stupid. It's not too sensitive to react to these things in this way, the way you respond says a lot about the kind of person you are. Wouldn't you want to show people that you are open, fun, kind, considerate, and interested in getting to know people and not make anyone feel small or stupid?

so basically don't attack his ego lol

is it bad that what i'm seeing here is an opportunity to get rid of a guy who are interested in you but won't take no for an answer? ^^

add never saying "oh i thought you were gay before I started talking to you" to that list

I’ve done #3 to my boyfriend on our first date and now I honestly feel bad. He was saying he’s never watched any animated Disney movies and I was so shocked. I was like, “You’ve never watched any Disney animated movies?! We’re going to have to fix that.” In my defence, I wasn’t trying to belittle him or make him feel bad. I was just genuinely surprised. But now I know it’s bad and I’m not going to make the same mistake again. Thank you so much for the video, Matt! ☺️

no girl want to hear she's cute too. call us beautiful or zip it. Edit - there are all types of women of different ages and upbringing who appreciate being called whatever, so that's their choice. Personally I hate hot, hot stuff, sexy, cute. It's very superficial and physical. I like like a deeper compliment like beautiful. If habits are cute then that's a whole diff compliment.

I am a woman and I don't want to be told those things. :/

This is a great video about teasing and flirting, Matthew. Reading through the comments, it seems that a lot of persons (men and women ... possibly more women?) are quick to dismiss your advice. But what you're saying is that it's not just about the guy being overly sensitive or needing to have his ego stroked continuously. It's about becoming better at flirting and teasing. And this requires cultivating better emotional intelligence. The thing is, flirting isn't just about how you feel while you're doing it. It's just as much about (maybe even more about) how it makes or encourages the other person to feel. He has to be enjoying the joke with you. If he's not laughing with you while you're having a bit of fun with him then of course it will feel like you're just having a laugh at his expense. And that's where the emotional intelligence comes in - knowing how and when to use that humor so he's playing along with you. If he likes you (even just a little bit), he wants to play with you. But it's just like most games - it's more fun to play when both sides have put in some practice and respect the 'rules'. I'm a guy, by the way. I think Matthew gives good advice and want to understand not just how I can get better at dating but what ladies can do to get better at it, too.

I’ve been in a relationship for 6 years and we are doing just fine, he is a great guy! But I still find your videos so interesting because most of your advice can be applied to other areas of life and non-romantic relationships

the sofa looks so comfy lol

All these years of dating I tried different ways to change..but I guess when you meet Your right person you don't have to worry.the person stays and loves..there are no rules. Ive found my perfect one :)

Matthew, I want to thank you for the precious advice not only on relationships, but on life. From my perspective, your videos talk both about relationship wisdom and life wisdom. Self-respect, inoffensive form of teasing, support, and etc. is how we should behave in general, not exclusively with guys, imo. I learn to be a better person from your videos and that's why I find them especially helpful!!

Thank you for reiterating my thoughts on this, Matthew. I just imagined putting myself in the guys shoes, and thinking, that if a guy said to me that my career choice or something I take seriously, is cute, or if I was told I dance funny, or if the guy tried to make me feel “out of the loop”, or “uncool” because I hadn’t seen or done certain things that most people have experienced, etc, then I would get my feelings hurt, or irritated, because I would really feel “put down”. I don’t blame them at all for losing interest. I would lose interest, on the spot, too! Nobody likes to be not taken seriously, ‘put down’ and made to feel ‘less than’. People naturally want to feel good around a person and naturally gravitate towards people who build them up, not tear them down, and just feel good when they are with that person. No one wants to walk on eggshells, worrying if they’re living up to a certain person’s expectations. I have even ended friendships with female friends, also, who have done this type of thing. No one likes to feel degraded… by ANYONE! They say that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit,.. but, in all actuality, it is not funny at all. It’s a well known fact that sarcastic stand up comics do not do nearly as well as other ones. Sarcasm itself isn’t cute; it’s actually a deflection of the person’s own insecurities, onto someone else. In retrospect, a person’s expectations of us are not our obligation to live up to. Life is too short to have friends or a significant other, such as these. These people are in actuality, not very happy with themselves, to even need to be sarcastic, whether trying to be funny or not. Read between the lines, and you will see a frustrated, disgruntled human being, in an attempt to be witty, or intelligent,… but realistically, it’s just an epic fail. 😊👌

This is not a guy thing it's a human thing.✌🏻️

All these three things can also be offensive to a woman coming from a man.

When my girlfriend said that I'm immature it really made me feel like " ok then I'm letting you go find a mature one " .. this really gave me high blood pressure. When all I was doing is to keep telling her things that would be better for us like if theres a problem she shud speak up and yet she told me this.... woooohw,...

Also thank you for sharing your chapter with us that is greatly appreciated!! 💋

*reads the caption* " yep, I probably have said all of those things to my crush!" *after watching the video* "yes, I've said all of em to my crush..."

Shit I did all of these things so much...

You work so hard to make the videos...it reflects on your work...i love your videos...truly helping.thank you

I love how fair Matthew is. Instead of just saying "this is something that will kill a man's attraction to you" and leaving him at that, he adds that there are lots of things men say that kill our attraction towards that guy. I hear too many guys pointing fingers at girls acting like men are perfect.

😁 #3 is sooo me! Guilty 🙋

1. "Be a man OR man up" 2. "Is it in?"

Actually, just treat me like a human being with thoughts and feelings, and we will get along great. Have some god damned empathy

Thanks for the free chapter Matthew! ♥️

okay.. but, can we just talk about your hair? because wauw! ;)

The way he says "dance"...

He’s so adorable and now all I want is to see Mathew dance

I love when guys are able to laugh about themselves. The guy I'm dating confused Star Wars with Jurrassic park and he turned so red. He also tends to not read signs all the way through (in traffic) which led to funny misunderstanding but he is okay with me joking about it. In my humble opinion, if I communicate strong interest in someone he should be able to take a joke light-hearted.

would a confident man really be affected by these 3 things? i dont want a guy who is that sensitive

this video sounds personal. did yo many girls say this to you Matt?

I had an ex who used to do that last thing to me, it was so condescending! We had knowledge on vastly different topics but because we mostly spent time with his friends or housemates over mine the conversations I had a lot of input in rarely came up around them so I eventually became afraid of saying anything I wasn't certain of around them, eventually leading to me retreating and eventually ending it. Don't make the same mistake as him ladies!

Great tips!! Thank you for all you are doing for the dating world!

make a video for what girls should say 🙆

Hey Matt I've been watching your videos for a while now I can see that your passionate in what you do and that you genuinely care. Your videos have been very helpful keep it up and thank you

Give full respect to a man and do not put him under yourself at any time or you’ll have lots of issues in the relationship.

When my guy hasn't seen a movie I first gasp, shake my head disappoing and then tell him that we are gonna watch it together.

I agree with all three. I'm especially careful not to do the last one (i.e. make someone feel bad and/or like an idiot for not knowing something) because I don't like when it's done to me. However, I know most people don't mean it in a malicious way---it's just them playing around and/or attempting to have a convo in a playful way. BUT I always take (more) notice of those that are kind, warm, and do not (intentionally or not) expose my vulnerabilities and/or make me put up my defenses. I notice some people are just better at getting people to feel safe and open up, while others struggle with this. Oh the variety of people with their strengths and weaknesses.

My bf used to say all the things this guy said and I couldn't express myself around him now he is a history.

I love teasing soo much.. It basically keeps me going 😂..and that's where I love about what Matthew said in this video, doing it well and at the right time is key.

Thank you for the free chapter. 😊

I totally get that men hate being referred to as cute because I hate being called cute too. I'm 23, but 5'1 and I look and sound younger than I am so I hate it when people say "Aw, you're so cute!" it's like 'cute' is what you call a baby or a kitten. i'm a grown ass woman, take me seriously god damn it! lol

I feel like the second one especially was just something personal 😂

me taking notes to do all of these things

This is so true. If the guy doesn't say the right things in the beginning stay away from him. Listen to what he wants and don't gloss it over. That's what I learnt myself.

I’ve never seen pulp fiction, gonna go watch it now so I can talk shit to my man in the future.

1. Im a single mum 2. Iv had my fun and now looking to settle down 3. What car do you drive?

Very well expressed! Thank you😊

Im glad you pointed these out

Not sure I want to be attracted to someone who’s sensitive about how he dances lol

I went on a date with a guy recently and literally did the third one with the same movie pulp fiction. Feel so bad now aha 😂😂

i cant stop watching your video...this is just so amazing thank you so much ❤

this applies to every other person in your life. nobody wants to be devalued in someone's competition or have important things called cute or being made fun of. it's plain rude.

haha, the teasing chapter as a teaser for your program

Hey Mat, you should do aTed talk.

This is good stuff, I think I have done a few of these before!

I have never seen anyone, not even actors, who show certain emotions and impressions so well, just with a facial expression, as this guy. Sometimes I catch myself that, half of what he says, I don't listen, because I'm just watching him. But at the end, I get everything.

“You’re so funny when you dance.” *LOWKEY FCKING SNORT*

I'm proud of you man for keeping our secret! And never let them know the truth

thought id find things i had heard before but these are so helpful thank you

Thank you for this gift

"I went out with someone else." BIG EGO BOOST. I told a guy this one time because he hurt me so bad. It was a lie but I wanted to hurt him..... I never saw him again.

It goes both ways. I knew a guy who was exactly like this...he's just too snarky and sarcastic and it's so friggin annoying. I ghosted him after our 2 lunch dates. He begged to know why I was avoiding him and I told him the truth...then he called me a psycho lol. Whatever.

Totally true as always... girls and immature women (men too) don't realise how rude they can be sometimes. We should never belittle another human being. It mostly stems from our fragile ego too. We wouldn't like to hear it if we were spoken to like that. It comes over patronising and judgemental.

why is this guy so brilliant among of all the people i heared so far this guy is the most brilliant so true each and every word

I say ‘cute’ because I don’t have another word. It’s my safe word. Need to change it

I just realized all the flirting I do is teasing😂

You are so funny! Love how you relate your info to us... Your a great personality

I’m glad someone is finally saying this. -man

they kinda seem like your own pet peeves

I hate it when people make us go to a website or a book.

#3 was so funny loved it 😂😂😂

So guilty of #3! Eeeee thanks for the correction! 🙏🏼

these all three thibgs can go both ways for men and women.

I 100% AGREE WOTH ALL OF THESE!!!! Lol

Just watched a couple of your chats and you offer free chapters to your book...wow just got to watch a load more and I reckon I will have a free book... Cool

I get that. I think all people want to be respected. Anyone dismissing, minimizing, or devaluing someone else will feel disrespected and shut down. But also, some people are just too sensitive. If you take every single thing seriously, you’re always going to feel hurt.

My list of what never to say to a guy: 1) Are you are all inside me yet? When he is already....Sorry a bit crude) 2) I've never dated a guy shorter than me 3) You look nothing like your POF photo

I've seen several videos of this gorgeous, awesome, intelligent, handsome man called Matthew and... is it just me, or men are becoming more emotional than women?

am laughing all the way...this guys deserves a medal

Thank you. I appreciate the honest feedback of information.

I would really like to meet this mysterious Jameson in the background lol

These all seem like common sense to me hahaha.

Matt no a truer words have been spoken I love you and your videos keep them coming 🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♀️thankyou you do an amazing job

Unrelated to purpose of this video, but this is my favorite hairstyle on Matthew! Also, "you look so funny when you dance" *BLEGH sound* :'D

Oh god I love his hair style , it looks so hot

Hey Matthew, how about making a video on how to tease women? I never know when it's too much :/

Thanks for pdf and the content .

He is so underrated he needs more subscriberssss

1:38 he starts to sound like Stewie from family Guy hahah

haha the "cute" reply is very accurate.. if I wanna piss off my guy, I tell hime how this or that is cute.. LOL

Your videos are great!!

Thanks for the gift😍🙏