They say that bringing up kids is the biggest responsibility a person can have, and there are tons of books on the topic. The Tibetans follow a unique 4-stage system to shape their children into responsible, self-sufficient, and respectful individuals.
During the first stage, from birth till the age of 5, kids are usually incredibly curious about everything around them. But they haven’t had any experience to learn from, and they can’t make rational decisions yet. So if they do something wrong or dangerous, you should look and act scared and try to shift their attention to something else. Don’t forget that your kid will never get this time back. Let them explore the world on their own terms.
Another 5 years down the road, until your child’s 10th birthday, you should talk to them as if they’re a “slave”. You see, you can’t just nurture their privileged “royal” side and neglect the diligent “servant” one. This phase is crucial because it balances everything out.
It’s important to build a friendship with your kids during the 3rd stage, from 10 to 15. Kids at this age are starting to form their own personal opinions and tastes, and they want to share them with you. Never judge them for their views or interests, that’ll only drive them away from you.
When the time comes for your child’s 15th birthday, you’ll be entering the fourth and the final phase. It’s time to respect them as an individual. Your child will be independent, self-sufficient, and respectful towards you as their parent and to others.
Music:
1. Mumbai Effect - Jingle Punks
2. Bike Rides - The Green Orbs
3. Dancing on Green Grass - The Green Orbs
4. Safety Net - Riot
5. Right Place, Right Time - Silent Partner
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TIMESTAMPS
The first stage: before the age of 5 0:38
The second stage: from 5 to 10 years old 2:08
The third stage: from 10 to 15 years old 3:33
The fourth stage: from age 15 and older 5:30
SUMMARY
-During the first stage, from birth till the age of 5, everything kids know and see plays a major role in forming their character and can remain in their subconscious for life. According to the Tibetan system, parents should treat their kid like a little “king” or “queen” during this stage.
-The age from 5 to 10 is time to talk to the kids as if they’re a “slave”. It is the time to set some small goals for your little one, guide them towards achievement, and teach them to be ready for the consequences that come from not realizing one’s goals.
-For the next 5 years, you should treat your child as an equal. You can even switch roles and ask them for advice. This will encourage their independence, critical thinking, and even self-confidence.
-By the time your child is 15, their personality is basically fully formed. You can give advice, but it’s a little too late to teach.
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