Some of the loneliest people I know are married

During my childhood my best friend was my dog. Now at 69, my best friend is my dog. I have come full circle. I enjoy my own company. Less stressful than most superficial relationships most people have. I have no interest in small talk. I like one on one relationships. I really dislike group activities. I have learned to love myself and do not need acknowledgement from others. Connection with people is important, however I connect deeply with nature which feeds my soul.

I live alone with my horses, dogs,cat,chickens. Living alone is not being lonely. It’s the best time of my life. Never been happier. Did a beautiful garden which helps feed my animals. No more daily focus on what I look like. How I act, who I need to impress in the business world. Life is now a happy, peaceful, fulfilling daily party. Thank God I woke up to what’s real and happy and full of life’s true fulfillment.

Thank you Margaret! Wonderful tips. When I’m feeling sorry for myself, I prepare soup or something to leave at someone’s door that isn’t feeling well. I took a walk yesterday and I wore a bright pink jacket. A group of teenage girls slowed down their car and complimented my outfit! It made me feel so good! Small things like this can really lift your spirits.

I am in my 60’s, live alone, divorced 15 yrs. Haven’t dated in 3 yrs. An introvert by nature, liked being alone, but now have to admit for several years now have felt lonely. My good friends all live hours away, I have family and grandchildren close enough to be part of their lives from time to time, but sooooo much time alone, esp during Covid feeling isolated and frequently feelings of being abandoned. Everyone has their own lives. Also am about 75lbs over weight, the last 25, thanks to Covid. Way too much time spent inside these last few years feeling sorry for myself. After a meltdown the other night realizing ALL of my friends, have someone. All of my social circle have someone, and it looks like it’s time to face the reality, I probably going to spend the rest of my life alone 😞. Point of the story….I know one of the reasons I stay home a lot is because I am not happy about the way I look. So I spent some money and bought some new, more stylish, pretty, spring cloths! So even though I am overweight, I am getting dressed in my pretty new cloths and going out! To the library, walk thru the mall and the stores, and I’m even going to have coffee or lunch myself out somewhere. I made a list of places to go in all of the small towns around the town I live in! Might be alone, but…as you wisely said, Margaret….”this is my new reality” and I have to figure out how to be as happy as I can in it!!!! I have also started volunteering at local animal shelter and food bank. This was a great video! Lots of ideas! Good luck to all of you other ladies going thru the same struggles!!! It’s hard, I know! ❤️😀

Yes I agree 👍 The worst thing is to be with someone and yet are so lonely.

I just love your channel. You are beautiful inside and out. I will be 80 soon and lost my husband nearly 2 years ago after 58 years. No family interested. All dear friends died. I can’t walk on my own and my garden was my joy. I’m a solitary person who loved reading and writing but also enjoyed company of a really good friend. Will see if there is a channel to make a friend. I live in the country and love nature. Thank you 🥰

Love yourself and then you will never ever be lonely. I promise.

Summary Take control: 1) Acknowledge your feelings and that you have a problem 2) Shift your focus. Look ahead rather than back. 3) Do things you love. 4) Give back. Volunteer.

Hello Margaret, I retired and moved to a new, very tiny town just as covid hit in early 2020. I am a super social person, so it had all the opportunities for being lonely, but I remembered something I heard from a 4-H leader as a young teenager when I lived in a very rural desolate area... "To have friends, you have to be a friend." She encouraged us to initiate conversations and to suggest get-togethers... and she got me into having penpals. I ended up with so many penpals that everyday, I'd get an 8" rubberbanded stack on mail in our rural mailbox. I'd sit at the end of our long driveway, waiting for our mailman to arrive to take away the letters I wrote the night before and giving me a new stack of letters each day! That has converted into regular text conversations with friends. We share recipes, craft and gardening ideas and intimate conversations trying to help each other with family or medical issues. Thank goodness covid seems to be subsiding and I plan to get out and volunteer in my beautiful new tiny community. I love your videos and have learned SO much from you! You are a beautiful lady... inside and out!!!

Here in Canada, the covid lockdowns have caused so much trauma for seniors. Everything was shut down for months and months; we couldn't even visit with one another in the seniors building I live in. Everyone was confined to their apartment unless we needed to go out for shopping, mail, laundry or take out the garbage. I enjoy my own company and doing a variety of crafts, but, isolation has taken its toil on me too. Looking forward to Spring so I can be outside again. Hugs to all of you. Miriam

Margaret, I've felt that way for a long time. My son lives in the apartment downstairs with his gf and three year-old son. But, I still feel that they have each other; they are the "family unit". Very often, I feel like I have no real purpose in life anymore. When I lost my husband, I was in my early forties, so I had plenty of opportunity to start over. But, I made mistakes, and now, I'm too old to start over. I wouldn't be alone if I'd made better choices earlier on. There's no easy answer, really. I'm an introvert, but, I need love and affection..there is none. My grandson brings me joy; however, it's also tiring. I'm grateful for the blessings. I just feel that void most all the time. Thanks for sharing such a relevant topic and all your understanding and advice. Stay safe and well. Rosemarie 💖

Your comentary is valuable to us older men also. I am 83 and live with my dog. My wife of over 40 years is in a dementia care facility. Thanks for your thinking.

I love that you address the real world problems women of this age struggle with.Most channels on you tube do beauty and fitness. Some issues I would like to see are menopause, late stage divorce, grands, adult children, urinary incontinance, planter fasciitis, osteoporosis, supplements,fitness,eating right,and other topics mature women deal with at this stage in life.PS- and sagging skin,loss of collagen, natural remedies ❤️

I’m an empty nester and my husband travels for business. I work from home, so spend a lot of time on my own with my pets. I walk our dog every morning to start my day. My kids live in another city and I’m an introvert as well. I definitely feel lonely, but try my best to put one foot in front of the other everyday. Thank you for this. I appreciate your encouragement ❤

I have never been on a live such as this. I feel warm listening and reading all at once about people who are just like me.❤️

Idk about others but when I’m feeling lonely, ironically I don’t even want to be around people. I guess it’s depression. Depression is very hard to overcome. You know what U ‘should’ do but u are feeling bummed out. That’s why zoom classes are my way to go. Good tips here, thanks!

I enjoy living alone, being independent and in control of my own space. I am not lonely because I live alone. I feel lonely when I need help and nobody cares. Not even the people who I have helped often at my own expense. I avoid asking for help as much as possible, because I know how irritated people get when they have to do something that doesn't benefit them in some way.

I remember,after my divorce, the first time I went to the show by myself. I was sixty eight. It did feel weird. Now, I'm used to it. If there is a movie I want to see, I go. Then I go to dinner, so I don't have to come home and cook. I go to the gym twice a week. I take sewing classes, which I love. I go thrifting. I joined a knitting group, through church. I volunteer occasionally at a Christian re-sale shop. I do go to these places by myself, but I've met some nice people along the way. I just kept making myself go out. I 'm more used to it now. These people don't have to be my best friend. I'm still not crazy about going out to eat by myself, but if that's my biggest problem, then I am blessed.

You can be lonely living in a relationship with the wrong person x

I'm just trying to find my "new" purpose in life. My entire family has passed away. My sons don't really bother with me, they don't live nearby, they have their own families and are doing that. My best friends that I grew up with since a small child have passed. Ouch. If I weren't me I wouldn't believe it. I am good alone most of the time. It is the holidays that get to me. Everyone is doing something with family and such. But I have none. I still work, so at least I am getting out of the house. I also picked up my crochet and knitting again which gives me peace and satisfaction. It was very difficult to come out under the depression and grief I was in after all the deaths and the estrangement of my kids. So I am just trying to meet the new "me" and figure out what she is about. That you for the video. They are very good tips.

Being busy and being lonely are two completely different things. You can be busy all the time and still be lonely as hell. The problem is that no one has time for us. They have families, jobs, friends, blahblahblah, and no time for us. They don't realize that time is ticking for us, and someday when they wish we were here to see, we'll be gone.......

The good thing about loneliness is that it comes and goes...like happiness...getting out into nature or joining a meetup may help...going to the sea always makes me happy...

Great topic, tips & advice. I believe that we can’t escape loneliness in this life, it is part of it. We can just like what Margaret said, shift our mind focus to something better & greater that we love to do. Accepting loneliness & not getting stuck with it is a pathway to a happy life. Thanks for sharing, well appreciated. Blessings to all!🙏🏽

Thank you for your kind manner, understai and down to earth suggestions.

I would rather be alone than in a bad relationship. I have pets and adult children that live close by and I have a great relationship with them. The pandemic took its toll in friends but that is life. I have a home and yard that keep me busy, too. I am content!!!

Just getting out of the house helps! Sit in the garden, neighbors will.stop and visit! I call nieces and nepbews whose parents have passed, they love to chat me up and I love keeping in touch. It's so easy to isolate when you enjoy time to yourself, I have to force myself to go out sometimes, I want to keep my mind current!

Hello. This is the first time I’ve seen this video. I am 90+years of age and have scoliosis ,which has left me unable to do so many of the things I have always done,like dancing,skating, skiing ,biking This is very depressing. I spend most of my time doing exercises to relieve the damage of scoliosis. However I am getting an apartment size piano which I can play at my own time which will help with my degree of loneliness. Plus going for lessons once a month will give me contact with another human. This is my treatment to my level of loneliness. Thank you. LK from Canada 😊

I arrived at your channel by chance but was curious what 60+ women had to say about loneliness and it’s not so different for me as a 60 year old widowed man. Thank you for your gentle way of saying that there are no easy universal answers, but always possibilities

As a new widow I really appreciated your comments. You seem so kind which made me feel better about my situation.

❤ The knots prayer- dear God please untie the knots that are in my mind my heart and my life... remove the Have nots, the can nots and the do nots that I have in my mind... erase the will nots, may nots, might nots that may find a home in my heart... Release me from the could nots, would nots, and the should nots, that obstruct my life and most of all dear God I ask that you remove from my mind, my heart, and my life, all of the am knots that I have allowed to hold me back, especially the thought that I am not good enough... amen

I get through my loneliness by watching you, Margaret! Thanks for sharing! 😍🙏🤩

I’ve been very lonely at times in my life. I discovered that getting outside of my comfort zone, including the way I thought about who I was and “the way things are” helped to shift life for me. I went to a concert and stood in the middle of crowded lobby looking around as if I was waiting for someone so so that I wouldn’t feel strange. Just for the exercise. I tried doing what my funny mother did - She would wave across a crowded room at “nobody” as if she had a friend there and always seemed to be having the time of her life. I sat on my couch and cried. Emotions come and go in 90 seconds and sometimes it is good to let them come up and out so you don’t “stuff” them. I stopped telling myself that “I can’t”, or “I don’t like to” and just accepted invitations, tried new restaurants (yes, alone), listened to different music, watched movies outside of the norm, read different books, walked different neighborhoods, drove home a different way, just got out of my rut. Those things helped me. I am not currently lonely, but lonely can come and go in life so I hope I am prepared if it come for a visit again. Love and all the best to everyone out there enduring loneliness right now.

Margaret 🧡 I hope you had a wonderful trip. I think this is such an important subject. I actually reach out to women that live alone and we walk and I read to older women and I also suggest different ways they can volunteer. My point, it takes one interaction with love and kindness to make someone not feel lonely. You can reach out and it fills your spirit as well. Loved this Margaret. To anyone alone I am giving you a huge hug!! I see you and I encourage you, life is not over! Get out there and find your joy!!Blessings 🙌🏻🍑🧡Lisa

I've never made a new friend at the gym and my coworkers never wanted to do activities outside of the office. When I retire in two years, I plan to spend time at the community center. Also, I love hiking and photography. I was thinking of creating a Meet-up group to combine both and meet once a month at a local park to take photos and chat.

My son and grandson live 2 1/2 hrs away. I visit them monthly. Thankfully I’m still working so that fills my time and I have great coworkers. I also attend a Bible study weekly via zoom and In person church. On weekends when I’m not visiting my son, there are tons of house chores plus I try to meet a friend or other relatives for lunch/dinner.

I have been divorced for 34 years. I have been in a few relationships since then but have not dated in 10 years. I am a loner, need alone time, but I have definitely been isolated as a senior caregiver in private homes for the past 16 years. Very isolated. Facebook and KZfaq are my social outlet. Over the next several months, I am having both of my hips replaced so I will have downtime to reassess, redirect, and repurpose my life. I do so look forward to your lovely and informative videos Margaret.

Timely video as tears well up. I’m a youthful 69 year old living alone in rural Canada,although I love “living” alone I am lonely. I will take your advice for sure. Thank you !

Yes. That is a motivation for my staying single. When we were 20, a former classmate became engaged and said "I'll never be lonely again," and I felt very sorry for her.

I do get lonely and then don't think about it too much! We all get lonely at times whether you're in a relationship or not. I get out and about such as going for a swim, chatting to strangers when walking which is most days, and cycling to refresh my brain😊 I'm about to buy a new, lighter bike for my adventures. I made a friend in a language class many years ago, we meet regularly. I keep in touch with family and friends, inviting them out , whether it's walking or tea and cake in a nice setting in a different area. Happy to dog sit for my daughter. Lovely to re-live my day when back indoors!

I am a solitairy person and choose to live and to be alone and on my own, I love my freedom and my solitude.There is a big difference between solitude and loneliness. I love myself and own company❤❤

Thank you for this video. The most difficult thing for me is not only the loneliness but the abandonment that I feel. I don’t understand how I am in this situation. I know that I can’t keep going this way and that I must change things for myself. I don’t have the energy sometimes. I used to volunteer for Hospice but with the pandemic everything has changed making things even worse. Thanks for this relevant conversation. 🙏🏻

Thank you so much! Today has been a day of awakening on many fronts. This is the first day I have ever watched you. I know that loneliness. Recently, the feeling has been crushing. You have shown that it doesn't have to be. God Bless.

Love your talking about acceptance of the fact. Shift your focus, look to the future, not the past. Accept the things you cannot change and change the things you might.

Once again, excellent advice given in a heartfelt way. ❤️🙏

I'm so alone now at age 68 grown kids moved away not interested in the old woman that is alone with a few cats and that is all very sad especially when you don't see it coming

Loneliness is a physical and mental feeling of being invisible in a moment or an hour.

I so appreciate your gentle, upbeat spirit. Thank you for all you do here. Since my beloved mate’s death two years ago, I’ve volunteered, got on dating websites and had coffee with a couple okay guys, been hiking with new friends and back on my bicycle. So far the Salsa class is my favorite. I’ve been congratulated for my attitude and gumption, which is nice; still, I have to face that there is no instant, complete relief. It’s just the little islands of joy and comfort get a little bigger, with effort. It’s just slow, that’s all.

Dear Lady, Thank you for this podcast! I wrote down the tips and tip 3. has been told to me by another Counselor on the web and my son, in a text. Since I live out in the boonies I am going to move to a more community situation in the same state. Moving involves so much downsizing as I am retired and old, therefore accumulated so much stuff. I have a cleaning lady coming to help me later today. Because to go thru a big house and downsize really is not a one-person job. Actually I think I need a team, but that is too expensive. Anyway you helped, focus on this big project and forget the losses, Thank you for the tips!!! 😊

I was with 2 close friends over the weekend and we talked at length about this… I had said that acknowledging the pain of our loneliness is the start .. thank you for all your wonderful talks 🙏

Thank you for giving ideas regarding loneliness. Sometimes I don't even realize that's how I am feeling

Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and caring about others. You’re a wonderful person!

The issue for me while living alone is what to do if I become incapacitated or demented. I am in the process of getting a plan should anything happen to me and i can't function. I have two cousins in different senior facilities, both nice, places, good food, etc. but the Covid lockdown isolated them such that they both lost a lot of their sharpness and precipitated a recognizable decline. I don't want that. I'd like to stay in my home for as long as possible and am working on that now. With God's grace, I can face a solid future. He is already there.

To the first comment I read, some loneliest people are married. Yes, we certainly are. And yes divorce is answer. Unfortunately not answer for every one. Thank you Margaret for this wonderful community.

Great tips, thank you! For me, volunteering helps me combat loneliness. It helps me to quit feeling sorry for myself. In helping others, I help myself more!!

I live alone and love it ❤️ I call it solitude 🥰❤️💜

Thank you Margaret. You provide so much for so many. I'm looking ahead right now. So many choices and directions ahead of me.

These are very helpful ideas and suggestions, Margaret. You are so reassuring in saying, "You are not alone." That is comforting!

For me… I’ve done all of the groups & meet ups & crafts & just abt everything one can do. What I’ve found is… I need male attention & so I’m dating now after over a decade alone. It’s helped a lot. I believe many peeps are afraid to admit the truth of that. God forbid we are needy but… yes… I was crumbling without it. And yes I love myself dearly‼️✅

Another great video. Thank you

Thank you for your wisdom & sharing… 🍀

Serving others in even small ways really helps.

Margaret..you are a blessing bringing up this subject..which NO one really wants to talk about. I have been married for over 30 years, I don’t even know my husband anymore. I am going throughCancer treatment…radiation right now, feeling fatigued..difficult swallowing..he is NO help.. When I talk with my family, I am a different person..I feel loved with my family..unconditionally.. I believe what you are saying..you are a blessing..♥️♥️🤗🤗🌞🌞

I felt very lonely recently. I noticed someone on line who had been a friend and who now had a new small business. I decided to reach out and patronize her business and that one move opened up so many more opportunities for me. Honoring my mental health in as many ways as possible is really paying off!❤ Thanks Margaret for talking about these subjects that so affect us!

I like being alone, but I’d like to meet up with a friend every now and then, or take some classes with othe4 people.

Thanks, Margaret. Great info, as always. AND ... Your hair looks great!

When I was 70 I moved to a New town Where I knew noone. I love outdoor swimming, so I went down to the nearby beach one morning. Two ladies were swimming and then having breakfast. I avsked if I Could join then and since then we swim and. Have breakfast together most mosnings. It is a wonderful way to start the day. More women have joined out group and sometimes we are 7 or 8. And since it is an outdoor aktivitet we have been meeting all the time during the pandemic. So goodbye loneliness!

When I divorced my abusive husband, I never realized I was divorcing his entire family (which was huge) including his grown daughters and their children (my grandchildren). He turned them all against me. At the same time the last of my family died. So in just over 5 years I lost both sides of my family. To say it's an adjustment is an understatement. If you have always been alone, you are used to it. A dramatic shift like this has been very difficult. And don't even get me started on thinking about when my health fails...

This is so timely. I retired just as covid hit. Personal circumstances caused a financial problem as well. Usually I am fine but sometimes can be overwhelmed with loneliness. I cannot always join in as I cannot afford to.

You are so great! I just found your site here today! Love it! Thanks a lot!

I am 73 and have just adopted a large dog from Italy. She is probably around 6 or 7 so perfect. There are many older dogs that need a home. She makes me go out everyday and walk her and everyone loves her so I meet so many more people because it breaks the ice. A senior dog is the most beautiful creature in the world to alleviate loneliness. They just love you.

Love your videos --- thinking with a positive attitude is sometimes hard, but finding it is definitely worth it.

Be brave and stay involved in life around you. You do not have to put so much pressure on yourself. Having people to visit with randomly can be contentedly fulfilling.

Thank you for your encouragement, I always enjoy your segments. ❤️ this one particularly is good ,as I’ve recently moved to a rural community..will be applying your good suggestions…💪😻❤️

I have to be honest, my first marriage lasted 10 years, my second 20 years. Only then, I realised, it was the first time I was alone…but also, for the first time, I didn’t feel lonely + 26 years on I’m still alone, by choice, after turning down a few opportunities.😉 Now retired from a fulfilling career, I love every breathing moment of my life. People often pass comment that I look glamorous…+ yes I do…but it’s not to please a husband,partner or any admirer…it’s entirely for me alone because I’m worth it! 😉 Never let anyone ever make you feel…less than you are.💕🥰

Your advice is always good . My 3 year relationship has ended ,and now i am lonely

I retired last year to care for my mother. I have no SO and no children. Covid inactivity (no excuse I know) gave me extra weight and dangerous numbers from physical. I decided to learn swimming and made to pool almost everyday. It was hard as an adult learner doing it alone but the reward over time is amazing. Now I can swim well and have better baseline fitness, I am going back to swing dancing this month. Swimming is a lone wolf sport even if you join a master swim team. Pair dancing is more social. I get to have human contact without small talk. Dancing is terrific for aging and cardio fitness. I also sing with a barbershop chorus weekly. I am alone but not lonely.

Good info Margaret

This is such a good message. Thank you. I’m saving this message to watch again if needed

Thank you for your videos. Everyone needs a place to start. And your real approach should resonate with people looking for a way to begin. 💖

My son lives about 45 minutes away from me and lives with his girlfriend. I miss him so much! But I've learned that instead of waiting for him to come home to visit, I need to buy or make dinner and go visit him! :-)

Thank you Margaret for the work that you do through your channel. So needed. As we say in Italian, "Mille Grazie, A Thousand Thanks!"

Subscribed!! ❤❤❤ I needed this channel because I will be living alone by this time next year...

What I did during the lonely days, weeks, months of the pandemic was to tap back in to my art talent and learn dotting art on rocks. I also moved my art table and supplies out into my dining area so I could see it all the time and just sit down and do a little and forget all about everything crummy going on with the world, me etc. The more hours I spent doing my art the more I improved and began feeling so much better. I’m still going with my art but not as much these days since I’m out and about with friends and just having places to go again.

Hello Margaret! Thanks for sharing your common sense wisdom!🌹

Thank you for your wisdom on loneliness. Also for using this platform to make a difference. I needed this boost today. Keep up the good work.❤

Love your short hair with bangs. Looks much better. Great advice. Your blessed your in great shape and healthy. Yes we all experience loneliness as our family and friends pass away.

You are comforting to listen to. My situation has become quite terrible but I won’t tell you about it. It’s very unpleasant and might make your head spin. But I do appreciate you and the effort you make to help others. I may join the patreon group. Most of the time I apply the acceptance approach, in fact you wouldn’t believe some of the stuff I have had to accept 😏 but sometimes things pile up to high to see around. I always enjoy your videos though. Thank you.

Thank you for your wisdom & ideas.

You are so right Margaret! It is a great way to ward off depression too.

Well said. My solution after recently moving to a remote outpost on the north Oregon coast was (and is )to hang out at the local and only pub. Tourists and locals seem to love meeting a seventy year old local who loves to either small talk or share life stories. There is something about anonymity that opens people up. People go to pubs and belly up to the bar because they yearn for conversation. Plus the staff and their stories are amazing.

I’m only 54 almost 55. I found your channel one night a few months ago by just scrolling. I really enjoy it. I watch The Little Poet. I enjoy her channel too. I have been married 4 times and 4 times divorced. My grown son just moved almost 2hours away from me back last August. He stayed all this time because of my choice in men. I get lonely sometimes. But for the most part I am learning to enjoy being alone. I am a Stage 2 Esophageal Cancer Survivor. I still have a few health issues. So, most of the time I’d rather be alone. Thank you for your channel. It is very inspiring. 🙏🏻❤️I will continue to watch you. God bless.

I found your videos a year later, but still perfect for me. I'm going through a bad patch and started volunteering at a bonsai garden here in Marietta, Georgia. I'm learning the art hands-on and the group of volunteers is phenomenal.

Great topic, very well done.

Thank you Margaret for your many doable suggestions - now to “just do it”.

Lovely Margaret...thank you

Thx Margaret, you’re the best💐💐💐💐

Thank you, Margaret! Yes!! Looking ahead, from various life events and the trauma, the big changes that cause grief! ❤Yes! Finding just ONE THING that gives us a sense of purpose, that we can enjoy fully! Sometimes, it is simple! During my divorce and Covid that meshed together, I turned seventy! I remembered that I could crochet again, a craft that I enjoy doing for others and for myself! I learned to order yarn and supplies on line, and I learned techniques and patterns by ordering books and watching videos on line!! ❤I can teach this craft a bit when I can attend my Art Therapy at the local VA Medical Center! Yes!! To share things that I know, using my talents and gifts!! Thank you so much! ❤

Thankyou Margaret excellent advice x

Margaret, somehow I missed this one when you first posted in a year ago. Love this post. So helpful. Thank you!