No. Being falsely accused of sexual abuse against your own child is the ULTIMATE betrayal from someone.

I’m dealing with false dv allegations but thank god not sexual abuse, that would be wild

@@matthewhaley3885 ive dealt with both and im kinda broken from it

Suzie Peaches all charged dropped now I’m just doin me life is great 👍🏻

It hurts so bad 😓😓😓

That really is the key, you have to remain calm during all of this and give them time for their story to start to fall apart. The more you try to directly fight it (in public) the more apart of the crazy you become. Its just hard to do when you feel like they are getting away with everything. Excellent advice! -Duane

So True. And the narc never stops. Know that. no contact forever. They dont forget you and move on. They hate and hate and hate. The more success you have, the more they hate. never forget it.

I've been working on my breathing to slow down and relax and think of my happy place and the great memories that I useto love getting hugs and kisses there isnt one person in this world that can fill that aspect of my life.

DSD so true the family court systems definitely sides with these psycho women.

Absolutely! That's what happened to me! They couldn't tell the same thing twice, ever. I even went to an attorney to sue them for slander but the attorney's assistant was the wife of another attorney who had stolen $500 from me and lost his license for a year and he had to go through narcotics treatment for a year, successfully, to get his license back. I had never met her, and she had called me on my cellphone while I was at lunch at work, to threaten my life. I out her on speakerphone and all my coworkers heard her crazy yelling screaming rant. That was in 2005. In 2011 I went to the female attorney to sue slanderers. The assistant (the woman who called to threaten me) to me to send her boss an email telling everything about the narcissist's slander against me. They went to my slanderers and *got them to hire that firm against me!* It got even more batshit crazy after that, with the female attorney's deputy sheriff husband saying he was going to pull me over and kill me then plant a gun on me. My dad went to investigate and they shot him in the head. Nobody is in prison. Every bit of what I'm saying can be proven.

I know Stbrown hopefully as more people learn about it first we won't react when provoked and then we can expose these people in court so they are no longer empowered by the family court system. -Duane

In my experience with the courts, we had 3 judges. The first was assigned the case and on his days off or whatever we got too other judges. One was totally biased toward men getting their children, and inspite of PROOF the narc is an alcoholic with proof he does drive with our daughter in the car .with open containers and drinking . Judge Bias still had our daughter stay with her father in an RV park .. in a pop up trailer .. in winter. 42 degree weather. Saying becasue the trailer had heat .. it's was ok. THIS IS NOT APPROPRIATE HOUSING by any standard. And the narc had my kid picking up trash at the RV park, and she got lice ..etc. So yeah I hear you. The first Judge- the assigned judge, saw what the Narc was, and Thank God for that. I sure prayed. So it's a mixed bag. Some judges are harsh, some are good. They are human too. But can't have a heart in the court system. Evidence. hard facts. are what win.

The courts need to understand that generally in a divorce where there are children, if there is a custody battle, especially if they notice that it is high conflict, I can guarantee that one or both are disordered. They should start automatically testing for this.

They know...believe me they do but the courts are about making money and don't care where it comes from...

It happen tausend time every year and nobody can stop and even after you survive nobody gonna punish the person who put you in fails alligation the whole system is a big disaster

how are you doing now?

It's so hard to wrap my head around. My best friend says, Sensible people cannot make sense of something that doesn't make sense. You have been removed from a table where you used to sit, in order to save you from the host who was serving you poison

So hard when everyone enable them. Child protection for example.

You can't do that if you have children.

nothing a woodchipper can't solve. 🤣😂🤣

nothing a woodchipper can't solve. 🤣😂🤣

+Pretz 5 not a bad idea!!! Welcome to the channel Pretz!

LOL a Billboard .. excellent idea.. but what would the billboard say ? 22 reasons you may be living with a narc ... imagine the fender benders as people read it lol. Saying HEY ! That sounds like so and so !

Kaotic Mimsy This is a cheerful thought to start my day, thank you!

Oh absolutely!! One of the best statements about the narc I’ve ever heard!!!

💯 Brilliant point

I have lost my entire momentum of life, am so crushed 😢

Happening to me right now!

Good advice Kryonn, just make sure you are legal in doing it so you don't get into any trouble. If in doubt for your area consult with an attorney. I would also recommend to have a witness, that you trust, there as well. -Duane

Kyronn Young yes, good advice. I live in a 1 party state.

Yep!! Record and document EVERYTHING!

I actually had called the police station regarding a One Voice or two party conversation being recorded they told me it is illegal without their notification but if it is a crime then you are allowed to record so record everything and if there's a crime involved then you can use it

@Rick James same in canada its even worst

Did you recover from this? Did the truth come out?

I hope things got better for you Alexandria? I'm stuck in the thick of it right now... :(

@@markalexander3352 I can recommend you to a man who can help you with court case dismissed like he helped me

@@markalexander3352 Wh'atsap him for heIp🙏

REACH BRIAN HACKS 👇

It’s surprising most people are just getting toknow about Brian hacks now, he’s the most genius I know.

Not always

I'm a woman and my ex-boyfriend is doing this to me right now and filed a false police report and everything. Historically this does happen to men more often but it's not only men who deal with this crap!

@@divyamishra9481 Im sorry for you hope you get out of that country

@A Google User Thank you and yes, I see it for all kinds of people accused of crimes, I know there's many people (both men and women) in prison right now who are innocent. My case was dismissed, I have proof my ex lied I'm going to take it to the police but I don't have much faith they will do anything.

Michael - How many WOMEN sexually assault, harass and abuse men? What is the percentage?

yeah it happened too me two times its so hard because im black

She has now dragged kids down to police station to say I sex abuse them, use them as weapons. All because trying to just be a dad, trying to hire forensic evaluator to review evidence of parental alienation so maybe have chance to have any contact with my daughters. Its not just ex, her mom and sister are driving this ... a mentally ill cartel who for 20 yrs all they talk about is how everyone is gay or molestor. It is their nuke weapon in life

Jesse Ward it just happened to me by a co-worker. working my way through it.

@@kurtisjohnson hope you can save your daughters from them. trying to do similar here.

I'm about to face one :(

Hi Trishy - you know I think a video just on "Fear Tactics" would be a good one - I'll put that in the queue to do. Honestly if you can use this catastrophic life event to make positive changes, such as removing toxic people (and their supporters/flying monkeys) out of your life that is a really good thing! There is an adjustment period though - where you feel lonely and isolated but it's better and if gives us all the opportunity to rebuild! Thanks for the comment! -Duane

A video on fear tactics would be great. Another thing I've noticed is that most people don't understand what it's like to deal with a narcissist. I have a friend who's married to one and she's afraid to leave him. I tried explaining why to a mutual friend and she still doesn't understand. I'm wondering if you have any ideas on how to explain this situation to those who care about us but don't understand it. So many people don't get how we can be abused without being beaten. I think this is a huge problem in our culture. I can't tell you the number of times I've been told "but he didn't hit you." Does it matter? It's like saying to a gun shot victim "but you weren't stabbed." It's like mental and emotional abuse doesn't count.

People just don't really understand mental and emotional abuse. -Duane

They do, they try to go after your vulnerabilities and weak spots. But you're right, there's always a silver living involved.

They function on the use of FOG (Fear, Obligation and Guilt) - keeping the other in fear, obligation and guilt, to do their bidding.

If legal to do so...

I got wise and started recording her and thought I had her dead to rights. Isn't working out that way though. She found out about the recordings and made it seem to the court like that was creepy. And she lies so much that when I try to present the tapes, the court acts like they don't have the time to listen. It's a shame.

@@ceeeluvv Wow! Yeah, this post was 3 years old but still holds true today. It really sucks sometimes when it seems as if they have us "over the barrell", but if you remain civil, don't act out or stoop to their level or tactics, they eventually expose their own disordered, toxic, behaivior. I'm watching a handful of narcs in my family tree become isolated. People don't go eat with them anymore. Extended family and friends don't join them for coffee, a movie, shopping, etc. ALL narcissists repulse, reject, and push people away from them as they age. Sorry I rambled. Stay strong. Lean on God. He knows your injustice. God bless you and yours ☺💜🙏👍

REACH BRIAN HACKS 👇

BRIANHACKSONLINE🎡COM THNAK YOU

It’s surprising most people are just getting toknow about Brian hacks now, he’s the most genius I know.

Your right

Hi John and welcome to the channel! I think everyone is in complete shock when this starts. You start out thinking everything will be civil and then everything falls apart. You’re right, there is no way to reconcile and have peace because they live in chaos and to do anything different will cause their illusion to fall apart. That absolutely correct, spending time beating yourself up trying to understand the irrational is an exercise in frustration. I would imagine after all this time there have been a few people to come back a validate that she was wrong - but it always seems to be after we don’t care and it doesn’t really matter anymore. Thanks for your insight and comment John! -Duane

Agreed, because they will claim they spoke to you at a different time during which you did not even talk to them and just think up something. I have witnessed how they make up stories left and right without a single shred of truth in it.

Wow I have been saying the same thing since she made false accusations about me "I kept asking what did I do wrong??" And everyone asks or say "I don't understand why would she do this" I still can't believe this is all really happening I haven't done a thing to her and she is literally as we speak trying to ruin my life

How I wish they could develop a Lie Detector that could really electrify those narcissist and re-correct the exact words in that "make up stories", in order to save the innocent.

@@CatchGrace Damien Silak (above) put his finger on it. The real damage is less what she said, and more about getting over trying to make sense of her words. The first real step toward healing was to stop trying to understand her and start asking how I can protect and isolate myself. For me, the hard part was accepting the truth (as I always "knew" there was no truth to the allegations) but couldn't believe that someone I had mistakenly trusted could be so openly malicious toward my years of selling my soul to keep the peace.

Unfortunately lie detector tests are not accurate

They don’t work ,people can manipulate there own feelings to believe there crap

Hang in there FCA! It is so tough when going through this especially when you feel like you're the only person living in the twilight zone...

How are you? I’m now going through the same thing

Man I hear you Prepared Survivalist I think when you have someone close to you like that betray your trust and then do anything and everything in their power to destroy you in is a really hard to get through that. It does seem that family courts are starting to realize this is happening and making changes but i think it is going to take a long time for the ship to turn so to speak. -Duane

Did that happen to you? :( If so, I'm so sorry. Do you have any updates?

True Michael but since they always go that way it really waters down the accusations because it’s not always true. Honestly because of the “normal” game it makes it easier to fight. Welcome to the channel! -Duane

Sorry this happened to you 🥲😢😢😢

Yeah it really is Maura and it feels like something you won’t ever be able to escape. *Especially* when false allegations are being thrown around. It’s hard to believe that someone you *thought* you were close to would be so evil. If you can no contact can be *extremely* helpful in these situations - and moving (if possible) can help as well. I remember my father telling on the day my last child turns 18 I should quite my job, change my name, and move to the other side of the country. I’m not sure I’d ever do anything like that but I definitely understand why and what he is saying! -Duane

No the damn mobile company gets sued big time.

I didn’t marry my daughter’s mother and I’m still getting every bit of that trauma. Only thing I’d she hasn’t called me abusive yet, but I’m certain it’s coming. As soon as I take her to court and she realizes the court sees through her lies and fraud, she will drop tears and claim abuse. That’s the main reason I haven’t filed yet.

Sometimes the culprit is NOT a spouse!

It is my husband's baby mama and their 17 year old son that is making false allegations.

it is my own father who places all his insecuritys on to me and claiming im a child abuser!

Can still happen even without marriage. Even casual dating relationships have this situation of false allegations occur sometimes.

Hope things have smoothed out, bud.

Im with you, God bless

Just think, world war 2 happened. nukes were dropped. Because humans are fucked

GOD Bless You And Yours!

AA it's bad all over the place - some areas are starting to recognize the lies and games and that is making it a little bit better. But it still is a nightmare and when you are in the situation you're in you starting at a huge disadvantage. The reality is she's doing this to try and break you - to get you to give up and just walk away or turn to suicide. It is just pure evil. But we end up in the LONG GAME where we have to stay focused on not today BUT where we will be years down the road. Hang in there A A it sounds like you have a game plan and are playing that long game...

My sister just got accused of the same allegations from her fiancé’s babymamma and I’m tired of these people. They have slandered her online. If she never met her fiancé she would never be in this mess!

I'm so sorry. You are not alone. Sociopaths suck.

@@onceuponanexploration6048 Thank you for your kind words and yes, they really do.

@@ooshaunteinreallifeoo__1693 your sister deserves it because she's a woman. Duck that hoe

Wow don’t even know what to say to that Cristos... I hope you’re doing better now and out of the chaos.

@@DSD Thank you. The person who destroyed my family, tried to have me killed and caused my dad's murder also destroyed a church, destroyed a dozen marriages, she literally physically tried to kill her husband after she tried to have me killed. There was a lot of blood. The reason for the attempted murder was that her husband had been having lots of sexual affairs with girls and women. He also had a long-standing sexual affair with his brother's wife since years before the girl married his brother at age 17. The affair continued, his sister-in-law's husband (his brother) was not supposed to be able to have children but they have a house full of them. The noise of the near-deadly fight was horrendous, all the neighbors were alarmed by her viciousness, beating and throwing around her husband. Her own mother, who at that time lived across the street, called the police on her but she started crying and playing the victim when the police and ambulance arrived. She cried and said she was being held in a repressive, abusive cult, with no mention of her husband's multiple affairs. The cops just went away without filing a report. Ambulance, too, after patching up her husband. The pastor called them both in to his office and kicked them both out of his church for causing so many disruptions, specifically her, for lying about his church, calling it a repressive cult. Her husband's father filed to get her children from her, to get them out of the utterly crazy atmosphere they were in. To stop him, she filed false reports that her father-in-law had raped her middle son. It wasn't true, but it was enough to keep him from getting the kids. It was hardly the first time she falsely accused people of sexual crimes, and it will not be the last time, since she has seen the power of false reports of rape and sexual harassment, the destruction it causes that gives her so much joy. She needs to be in prison. She went homeless, taking her 3 boys with her. She went to Sydney, Ohio. A black bodybuilder and personal trainer took her in to get her off the street. She thought that meant he wanted to marry her. Wrong! He only felt sorry for her. He had no idea what kind of monster he had moved into his house but he soon found out. She used his home computer to search through the online library of her former pastor's preaching to find his jugular vein... And she found it. She found a 17 minute excerpt of her former pastor preaching against interracial marriage. Given the situation she thought she was in, she thought it was the perfect revenge to go for the jugular of her pastor. She sent links to the preaching to all the Antichrist websites and KZfaq channels that she could find. They caused it to go into mainstream media, even all over the world. Even Australia, South Africa, England, Japan and Germany reported in it! She shouted with glee all over the internet that she had gotten her revenge against the pastor who dared kick her out of his church! Her "boast posts" were far and wide, very prolific, multi platform. She got her former pastor named "The most racist pastor in America." If you Google those simple words, the story still comes up now, 7 years later. She had also taken a few short little certificate classes like "life coach" and other BS, and began claiming she had 2 bachelor's degrees and was working on a third. The black guy had an "Oh Shit" moment, and told her it was time to go. He gave her some options to get her out of his house, and he moved her to Austin TX to be with some satanists and atheists that she had met online. He cleared his work schedule and drove her immediately there, dumping her off and telling her she was not allowed back at his house. While she was there in Austin, someone in my family told her that I was working my last government contract 100 miles away from where she was shacking up. So it was no surprise that I had to call my brother to tell him to tell her father that she was stalking me, 100 miles away from her love shack. She had been in the passenger seat of a white car with 3 other guys and thought it was funny to turn around behind me and folliw me. I immediately pulled over to make the call. This was in 2014 just months after she caused my dad to be murdered as he went to investigate the death threats she caused against me. Her dad called her told her he wasn't going to protect her anymore, to move as far away from me as she could get or she was surely going to be in prison. She moved to Suffolk, Virginia to move in with a Satanist who fronted a Satanist noise group called "Dark Psychotica." You just cannot make that stuff up. Look up Dark Psychotica on Facebook and KZfaq, and see the Charles Manson lookalike she has been with for going on 6 years now. She has destroyed dozens of people with zero regard for them, only thinking about herself. The carnage didn't stop when she moved to Virginia. She went to work in a place and as big and fat and ugly as she is, she filed false sexual harassment charges with the State against some male coworkers, saying they were hounding her for sex and doing inappropriate touching. To make it stick, she saw a psychiatrist, who, wasn't buying her story. So, she started saying she was going to kill herself. She was soundly shocked by being involuntary committed to a mental hospital for awhile. Not sure but I think she lost her kids for awhile. She always plays the victim in stories that have absolutely no basis in reality, those stories only getting life in her sick head. The damage she has done to me and my family is unrepairable. Many of us who used to be close to one another refuse to talk to one another anymore. And I don't give a shit. People who don't believe me don't deserve to be in my life.

😟

@@MissionaryInMexico there is no way that’s possible unless the whole police are simps

@@jackpackgaming660 You called it exactly.

+RavensNewLife - very well put!

Wow, that is serious gaslighting where they try to convince the court that she doesn't think you are a bad guy and that you just don't know any better. That makes you sound incompetent and like she is so smart and has it all together. That is very condescending. My narc was condescending like that "oh poor Raven, you are so delusional. You need help. You need therapy." Gag. I hate that these people are so manipulative and people believe their crap.

+Irish Jester Sorry to hear of such unacceptable conduct on her part ; It is unbelievable that a wife and mother could act this way and twist it around but then this is why we are here! We have dealt with narcisstic personalities that hurt caring people and usually as in my personal experience , hurt their own pockets and who knows the rest of it !

+Irish Jester sad Indeed Jester! My story is the other way around . he was in antidepression pills because of anxiety and he drank white wine on an empty stomach and cigarettes alot too many for a non smoked such as myself : well my ex narc. boyfriend told his family that I threw him out of the house but we reconciled ; strange how no one from his side of the family ever asked me why ? there is cheating and perpetual cheating even after he moved in with me (I guess he was happy not to pay rent and electricity and food, also received 50% of Marina fees and expenses on our sailing boat . I thought he moved in with me cause he loved me - LOL

I didn't see this before so I apologize for the delay - they are experts in presenting themselves as the calm one - it's just when you can catch them in a lie (by doing it in a calm way) THEN the mask will start to slip. Unfortunately OUR reactions give them the power they have, it's really an annoying realization! -Duane

Hi Dream Wolf and welcome to the channel. What a nightmare scenario that you gave there. I like your advice at the end of *holding strong* though I’m sure that was much harder to do in the midst of all of this. So you didn’t say but did you ultimately prevail in your custody case or is it on going? I hope it’s finished and that you have full custody of your twins. -Duane

I did in fact win the custody battle, after moving to the state of Maine. Laws in PA made it difficult and borerline impossible for the judge there to revoke all of my ex's parental rights. I did maintain hope she would one day sober up, and my kids would get to know their mother, however this last January while high on meth, she took her own life. And it was very hard to hold strong while going through it. In truth, if it wasnt for my Twins and the amazing young lady i met while taking them to my parents place (at Comicon of all places, Nerds unite!) im not sure i could have managed. I try to help others who go through these things, and often speak at local support groups for single dads going through these kinds of battles. i also keep my eyes on laws being put forward that may help, or hinder, other men seeking an escape from abusive situations, or gain custody of their children. Laws dont get passed if the lawmakers dont think the people are behind them.

Hang in there +Boolaidd! This is a nightmare but if you can not react and make sure they do not have evidence (or perception) then most of the time you can weather the storm. It's just hard to NOT get angry when this stuff is going on. Welcome to the channel and I hope it's helpful for you! -Duane

I have pictures where she scratched my face, broke my crown on my tooth, and she jumped my locked gate , broke into my house, thru my mother's window and at the same time claims she's pregnant. She broke into my house in front if the KEEP THE PEACE officer......LMAO. Your opinion....? I never hit her.....no evidence...

Well *hopefully* you have that documented so when the court compares your story to hers they will see what the true is. Minus any evidence on either side they the court will probably ignore most of it - just make sure you don’t make any mistakes. Have you started any of the court proceedings and do you have any children with her? If not then you have a better opportunity to get away from her with minimal damage. The problem is I’m not really sure if there is a way to get out without ANY damage.

i responded to the temp restraining order yesterday and submitted a lot of evidence that i had....pictures of my face scratched up, my tooth missing...police report where she jumped my locked gate and broke into my house thru a window, being pregnant at the same time...i submitted my chiropractor reports stating that I'm no in physical condition to attack anyone. and i was charged with 243(e)(1) meaning no marks or bruises on her, but her declaration in the temp order said i slapped her in the face, hit her in the back of the head and lower neck, i scratched her breast and tried to pull off her nipple! lol I WOULD DEFINITELY HAVE A FELONY IF THAT WERE TRUE... the hearing is on tuesday for the restraining order. i feel comfortable about it. she has no proof of me being abusive to her as she stated. we have 4 daughters together and she took them as if i dont exist, but i filed for custody first and just have to get the criminal case out of the way first. WHAT DO YOU THINK SINCE I GAVE A LIL HISTORY OF MY INCIDENT?

Boolaidd me to with a restraining order on me i travel the country that not good

Hi Steve, man I’m so sorry you’ve been entrapped by that. It’s also amazing to think that the criminal legal system wouldn’t even allow you to defend yourself on these allegations. Did you have an attorney working on your case or did you represent yourself? Have you thought about filing an appeal? You can appeal just about everything and that might buy you some time?

Glad it's helpful but sorry you need it! That is one nice thing about these youtube videos though, if you find something that helps you can just rewatch it as often as you need to!

How did it go?

You are very welcome Jessica and I'm glad they are helpful - you'll find that a lot of our stories are *very* similar! -Duane

Hi John you are very welcome and let me also welcome you to the channel! -Duane

Hi JF, yeah being alone with this is a dangerous move. Unfortunately you just can’t trust a person like this because they have no integrity and you never really know what they are capable until it’s too late. It is much better to protect yourself so you don’t put yourself in the position in the first place. -Duane

It's so tough daddysgotcha and I know at first I felt that this was *because* of the influence of other people - that it wasn't *really* her. But after a while and when I took a hard look at the previous 2 decades I could see those patterns were always there. It was just that when I (and you) were a good solid source of supply there was an incentive to "pretend" with the illusions to keep you "in line". The problem is as SOON as you are no longer considered a good source of supply then the gloves come off, the mask drops, and you experience the full force of the monster behind the mask. Don't beat yourself up too much and realize that you were approaching everything as it if was real and if she really loved you. You can't beat yourself up for believing it was a lie - it isn't like they tell you what they are - they tell you *everything* you want to hear... Most people would have believed it and tried to make it work...

You know +Robert Harvey I should have talked about that in this video and that is an excellent point that people need to be aware of. Thank you for bringing that up and the comment! -Duane

terrible yet true situations. My story is only "twisted around" by the narc and thrown back to me through his lawyer. It was so ridiculous when I read his invention (obviously had nothing to say other than stupidity). I contacted my lawyer 4 times because of embezzlement (my narc had sailed away to another Marina /another contract and being co-owned witch be with supporting documents, I was stunned and feeling crazy for his conduct but when my narc finally decided to collect his mail and defend himself the only thing he could come up with was "tell patrizia that since the cooowned sIling boat Beneteau first 30' is on sale, to let me know with advance notice if she is contacted by an interested purchaser "! It was so mind fucking to read something so awkwardly silly compared to his actions to hurt me deliberately and get away with it! while taking away my Airbnb boat business too ; he also did works w/o my consent which was counterproductive and his lawyer asked me payment thereof.

It's really sad Irish Jester because if you don't understand you're dealing with a narcissistic abusive individual they can quickly turn the tables on you. So while you're trying to de-esclate the situation they can call on you - and they don't care if they see you in cuffs... -Duane

In fact they want to see you in cuffs....their aim is to destroy.

Robert Harvey in my case, he didn't care and just wanted to be left alone to do his thing ! they are not all the same but the point is that manipulative narcs are not Healthy humans!

Glad to be of help Jon

It's so tough to hear stories about people that are just getting slammed by the system and their ex. It's just evil...

@@DSD well, I have taken sole interim custody from my addicted ex, but she has thrown some pretty wicked allegations out there, and my only refuge is our children's aid file. Which I am next going to try and get. But i did get stuck with the costs from the interim emergency motion she brought. I withheld my son from her as per children's aid restrictions because no supervisers were available due to covid and her parents as supervisors are too enabling. The restrictions were, for her not being alone in a caregiving role ever and the judge made me pay dearly with her fees becauseI did not have the cas file. I'm so concerned about the allegations turning the court against me further. I have recently uncovered texts from children's aid where these restrictions were laid out just a month ago and hope to file them with the court for the case conference. Children's aid always basically dismissed her victim abuse card and were in our home monthly. Hopefully that helps avoid the aligations.

Jimm .. you need to start recording this. You need to start protecting yourself because she will hurt herself , get you arrested. And then you have a record. Understand ? This is the just the start. You need to get a plan to leave and move out. Im not kidding. She has dire dire plans for you. Get out while you still can.

She sounds bipolar. Watch out

Glad it was helpful for your Mariam

And their reality - our fear and response empowers them even more - the more we are able to *not respond* the better we are and the less power they have. It's just to bad that it takes so long for us to learn and realize that. -Duane

I'm glad it was helpful for your Carrie - hope you're doing okay

@@DSD I've been working really hard on trying to find somebody to file a lawsuit for me do you know of anybody

Hi Tamara, yeah it isn’t an isolated thing. People do like to jump to those stereotypes but in reality a toxic narcissistic parent can be either the mom or the dad. When they are present their actions just make things as difficult and complicated as possible. It really does feel like pure evil most of the time. But once you start to understand the source of their actions and their potential disorder (because we generally never get a diagnosis) then we can take proven steps to make things better. Thanks for taking the time to comment Tamara I really appreciate it! -Duane

Amazing you found one another. I don't know if I can ever trust again. But still in the courts right now so we will see.

Yeah Fed Up that is a really difficult one, when you finally see behind the mask and realize they never changed - they are always who they were - but we were just blinded by it. That was really difficult reality for me to accept and I struggled with that one for a while. -Duane

wish i could give this 1000 likes!

Hi Rosie, yeah its amazing how they can turn the story around. I know how hurtful it can be when you're trying to make your peace with your experience only to find out they are accusing you of things you didn't do - or worse - things they did to you...

Sadly there is Geoffrey and their are varying levels of false allegations. I was devastated when they started flying my way and I just couldn’t believe it. Now I’ve heard sorries of people who lost a heck of a lot more than I ever did and I couldn’t even imagine having to go through that. This is one reason why I often say if your ex doesn’t need you working you have to be VERY careful because in their eyes destroying you (and even having you incarcerated) helps them achieve what they want (which is to erase you). Since narcissist have no guilt or empathy they don’t care what they are doing to you and if they “win” it feeds their narcissistic supply knowing they have/had power over you. -Duane

Hmm I think most of mine are under that. I try to target 10-15. I think the main reason though is the misperception on the KZfaq algorithm- we’ll technically a few years ago it wasn’t. Thanks for the support T M

Hi Vincent and welcome to the channel. First I'm not a lawyer nor able to provide legal advice the follow is just my opinion and thoughts about your situation. If she was able to get a restraining order, even temporary, then unfortunately you have to completely stay away from her even if she is coming to you because it gets very dangerous. Then if you break that order all law enforcement is going to see is that you broke the order and are in the wrong. You would need to take that video to the court and have them hear it to see what is going on but even then it's complicated. If you still have that evidence you *might* be able to appeal the judge's ruling but I'm not entirely sure how that process works. I agree with you Vincent though, when someone is found lying to have the judicial system punish another person with false evidence they should be held accountable - unfortunately it seems very typical that this just is not the case. -Duane

Vincent S not all women are like that. Just like not all men are bad.

True Jan, just takes a while to trust again.

I'm glad to hear it was helpful Kemo - hang in there - this is tough but this nightmare doesn't last forever (although sometimes/oftentimes if sure feels like it will).

Hi Mocha Gypsy, can you share the name of that app??? Excellent point about the legality of recording! -Duane

The name is called "Call Recorder" which I downloaded for free in the Google Play store. I've had it for 7 months now and it works great! I have a CPS case open that was vindictively brought on by my narc (soon to be ex) husband after a fight HE started (I took the bait) and I originally got it for my conversations with him. Instead, it unexpectedly saved me from a few big lies from my CPS social worker, who I suspect is also some sort of controlling Cluster B.

I have the app and set it up to automatically record calls to and from any number my then divorcing wife might use like work numbers, cell, home land line, her mothers, and her attorneys office. I would also say that it's better to have a recording that technically might be considered illegal than only the lies and false allegations of your enemy. To have an audio recorded record of the truth to use to vindicate yourself among the people whose association and friendships you value and need the full support of through this difficult season of your life. Even if the recording is inadmissible as evidence in court that doesn't mean that the judge and the other parties attorney can un-hear it. They will hear and know the truth. You can't tell me that won't affect the outcome. You could also use it as a deterrent for false allegations in court and false accusations with family and friends if necessary. I reminded her that I had recorded all our conversations since the day I was informed of her filing for her divorce. I used that info as leverage in an attempt to silence her lies...when she started a seriously damaging smear campaign by openly stating to me that I had mentally and verbally abused her throughout our 25 year marriage. ..this was her pass to initiate divorce without having to seek wise Biblical counsel from the church on doing her part of what is necessary to save our marriage. Which is simple enough and it would place the burden on me to do my part. But she had already abandoned, in private with me, all manner of civility and stated her indifference after I questioned all her actions that reflected and clearly demonstrated her complete indifference and total lack of empathy. As you can see I haven't much of a shortage of words to be written describing what I went through and am still going through...this is why, for those that are still engaging in communication with their covert for various required reasons, the advice given to use email and texts is good policy, But the advice to not send the first text or email is golden. I eventually quit initiating any communication or even responding to what selective info she was required to keep me informed of in regards to our son with his school, medical, and other info required to effectively coparent in a "healthy" dysfunctional way. So I wrote pages and pages worth pf replies or requests that all turned into my journal of the details of the past major and memorable events in our relationship and it forced me to articulate my thoughts and memory of the details surrounding the things in my mind that I had not let go...bottom line write your email saying everything you want to say in the way you want to say it...but send it to yourself instead....then write the most basic indifferent communication necessary to your covert ex...I just found these videos and I like them the best because they closely describe my similar situation and the advice is very intuitive and spot on. It would have accelerated the process for me understand and begin to accept what i didn't want to believe and now know can't and couldn't have been changed. I wasted two years of my life because of my misplaced focus and energy. Still doing it, this is proof of that.

i got an app which the police told me to put on my phone to record all calls.im in uk

Good recommendations - I have Psychopath Free just haven't finished it but I'll have to look for the other two! -Duane

Hi Germain Ceres and welcome to the channel! Thank you for the feedback and I appreciate you taking the time to comment! It is unfortunate that this is common but it's great that we live in a time where we can find information about that and know that we are not alone. You and your children are no longer alone and you can recover from this! -Duane

You will. Our narc event was in June 2013. I remember sitting in the welfare office (I had been a stay at home mom for a decade, and was left destitute with 2 children to feed) and as the pressure of everything started to get to me I started to tear up and the woman behind the desk, typing in the paperwork said " You are going to be fine". and handed me a card with $450.00 on it so I could buy us groceries. you will get through it. I got a job working at night. I got myself back into college and got my degree, (somedays I attended class with NO sleep ) and now I have a career I love and plenty of money. you can do it too. Success is the best revenge. Lean on the good friends, and forget the flying monkeys. you will get through it.

Hi Antony sorry you've had to go through it but I'm glad to hear the DVPO was quickly cleared - sometimes those take longer. HOPEFULLY you'll be able to get custody of your kids but I know once they are in "the system" things get *really complicated.* . Do you think you'll be able to get the kids back soon? -Duane

Hi Music's Edge and welcome to the channel! I'm glad the video helped, I do have a lot of subscribers that aren't divorced or have children - because narcissistic behavior follows specific patterns the abuse, results and healing processes are all very similar. Be very careful, if you are already susceptible to being triggered with your anger issues stay away from the situations. They will absolutely push your buttons to get you to react so they can use those type of allegations to retaliate. Stay safe Edge! -Duane

Thanks man, you earned my subscription

Thanks Music’s Edge I appreciate that! -Duane

Dad Surviving Divorce you are someone that wants justice in the world, someone who is trying to fix the amount of hate in this world and making it more manageable, for that i respect you, i respect your videos, i respect your personal experiences which i gather is your reason for setting up your channel and i overall think with all due respect, whatever woman thought badly of you to divorce you just wasnt good enough for you and i hope you strive to become a hero the world needs right now and hope the best for your children as i can relate to having divorced parents, thank you for inspiring others to do good, you are a great man, never forget it 😊😊

Glad to be of help REI. These situations feel so insane and you end up feeling alone...

Hi Paula C and welcome to the channel! Sometimes the silent treatment can be a blessing because the drama goes down a bit. The legal issues you're talking about keep the drama up though. I would agree with your attorney when things get like this trying to continue communication just doesn't serve us any purpose. I know I *wasted* a lot of time trying to *save money* negotiating with her. Thank you for sharing your experience! -Duane

well the lawyer said the letter from his atty is trying to scare me into paying him back nothing had been filed yet in court, im prepareing my case, it was gifts. why is he doing this. is it because i called it off. a month ago. he befriended me on facebook again .. do not get it,

Gifts? That's odd, unless he was paying support payments before he was ordered too. My ex tried that, I was paying her $3k a month and then when I was ordered to pay they were like you own more and that last two months don't count. That wasn't a fun time - I was like there is no way in hell I'm going to double pay you what I already paid you. Fortunately that all got dropped and settled. I'm still trying to recover from all of this financially I have a few more years to get out of the hole I'm in. If he's talking about things that were bought while married before separation/divorce then that's silly. Bottom line though - anyone who is toxic - even if they do not have a personality disorder - has no place in our lives. Maybe there is someone out there that they can be happy with but we need to stay away from people to take our happiness away.

well he helped me out finacially.. money gifts.. he want it all back!!!... he have nothing but women friends. he had the audacity to try to friend me on facebook! last week. see i was never married to him on live with him. after 2 yrs he comes to me saying he dont want a commitment . like wtf.! I'm over that. but he was emotionally abusive. lie all the time tell half truths.

Hi Paula - well just remain calm and let everything just play out. You already said your attorney said he's just trying to scare you so just ignore it and *try* not let it bring you down! -Duane

no school would accept me if that's on my school database

same things happening to me

Hi +Elena Harris you are welcome and I'm glad the video was helpful! -Duane

Glad it was helpful Nicool! All of these situations are just so overwhelming and they can feel helpless. Hope you are doing okay.

Hi Red and welcome to the channel. That is a really complicated situation and quite honestly my recommendation in that situation is to leave. If she has been able to turn everyone against you and it's resulting in you being harassed by law enforcement and the legal system then you need a fresh start. It is absolutely wrong and you shouldn't have to go through this - but if that is the situation you find yourself it you have to take a fresh approach at the problem. The only other option would be to directly fight it through legal action but that is going to require legal representation and probably a lot of money. Some times these people are able to *win* and then we have to make the best decisions we can for ourselves. I know that isn't the answer you'd like to hear but I think these are the best options. *If others have different opinions or advice please share those with Red*. -Duane

Red Tag I am so sorry for your situation. I think the best way to handle it is to take legal action it's the only way to protect your rights and expose the corruption. It will be a long fight, but I still feel it would be worth it. It will require you to have a strong support system of friends and family and expert witnesses but it can be done. Consider having those friends and family come to court with you to be court watchers. Judges start to take notice and it hard to say you are the monster they say you are if there is a handful of men and women standing up for you. Be prepared to take it to a higher court and even make it a federal case on the grounds that your Constitutional rights are being violated. Just know that you are not alone. I hope that helps.

Red Tag no law against lies to a women's

personally .. I would move. I would. I would leave the state if I was allowed. I would get my record expunged if I could and I would get as far away from that thing as possible.

Red Tag shoot them all

Hi Alex, that is a really great question and the honest answer is you just don’t. The only recourse you *could* have is if their actions have cost you money, job, promotion or something like that. Then you’d have something to sue on but otherwise once the damage? It’s annoying but it’s true. It used to bother me in the beginning because I didn’t appreciate the lies that she and her minions were telling. I had one peer pull me aside because one of her employees came in and told her what a piece of shit I was for abandoning the family and leaving them with nothing. She knew it wasn’t true and felt bad and wanted to make sure I knew. Now keep in mind this was like three / four years AFTER the divorce and those lies were still being said. I never lost any money from it I only lost a title and that was really because of politics at work and I finally just decided I didn’t want the hassle or stress anymore. In a lot of ways it was one of the better decisions I’ve made and it ended up giving me time to do more with my children and have the flexibility to do things like this channel. So for me it’s all worked out in the end - however a few years ago I wasn’t so “happy” about all of the smears. -Duane

u never can

Yes, lovely statement.

Glad it was helpful K!