The poem was actually great.

Does anyone remember what happened to Lipgloss from Tik Tok? She was so severely bullied for simply wearing her natural 4C hair out and not styling it but her point was so valid and she was stunning the way she was. You shouldn’t have to style your hair every single day if you don’t feel like it. Manipulating your hair that often also leads to breakage anyway. So happy you made this video ❤

I wrote my senior thesis about black hair and the natural hair movement. After interviewing other black girls on campus, one of my conclusions were seeing other women natural was a major influence in other women going natural.

4c natural for almost 25 years. My advice (what I wish someone had told me): 1) Lean into what YOUR hair does. Once you let go of trying to make your hair behave like hair of a different texture, you'll find ways of styling that you like 2) Embrace shape and volume, it's what we have in spades. Figure out which shape/shapes look nice to you when combined with your facial features and you're golden 3) Wearing it shrunken is great (it's when it looks the most full and lush imo).But in this state it's more susceptible to tangling, so just be aware and careful. 4) It's also ok to style your hair. Even most white women style their hair, despite this idea we have that they fall out of bed with their hair ready to go. Styling doesn't take an inordinate amount of time once you figure out what works for you.

I live in a predominantly black country and in my part of the world, seeing women who look like you is a norm and people will look at you and see a beautiful young woman, short 4c hair and all but it's crazy that people view the way we look negatively in other parts of the world. I also hate that some people genuinely believe that our hair is hard to manage and that you need to buy a 1000 products to manage it. I only use an ordinary shampoo, conditioner and a hair oil on my hair and my hair is doing just fine. Some people will obviously need a bit more products than I do but that's not because their hair is hard to manage but because we all do different things to our hair and we need different products to satisfy those needs. Thank you for sharing this with us and I really thought your poem was good❤.

I always felt bad for black kids that grew up in predominantly white spaces. Your stories definitely matter. As someone that grew up in a predominantly black space in my formative years, I never once questioned my beauty/value. My brain can’t comprehend it and I wish that for every black girl. When I did eventually go to private school, when the kids tried to bully me for my black features I instinctively KNEW they were ridiculous so I wasn’t affected. I would say, visiting places where natural hair is celebrated e.g. Harlem, Lagos etc. You will be complimented daily. You see need to work on seeing yourself through a black lens. Note: My mum always wore her natural hair and she’s beautiful so that really helped.

Girl, I felt the SAME WAY about makeup in highschool. I was worried that if I started wearing it regularly, I'd feel like a panda without its spots if I took it off one day just to let my skin be its natural self. So I did the actual minimum, and even now makeup is mainly reserved for "special occasions." I don't know if it helps to hear a stranger say it, but you are also incredibly pretty in my eyes. Your features are sweet and youthful and well-balanced, and it's very pleasant to see you laugh and talk. There's many different categories of "feminine" so I wouldn't stress too much about presenting yourself in a certain way to compensate for what you might imagine you are lacking. You're gorgeous, Ms. Rapunzel 😍 Also, as a straight hair girlie, I just want to say that I'm literally mesmerized by people who have curly hair, and especially gravity-defying afros. It sucks that society penalizes certain textures and colors rather than celebrate them... Our skin and hair and bodies, from our ancestors we inherit. We are born beautiful, and it all deserves equal merit.

My sister also went to a predominantly white private school in NYC and I imagine your story mirrors hers a lot. It’s going to take a lot to truly separate ourselves from the notion of white adjacent desirability. We will have to devote a lot of that thought just to hair alone. But you already know u look stunning

god, she is so pretty

This take is very relatable. I wore twists for about 5 years and got used to not receiving compliments on my hair. The times I got some, it was almost always after a retwist, when the hair looked conventionally neat. Learning to like your 4c hair is a journey, because everywhere you look, the world is saying its not beautiful. It takes time, and honestly adopting an independent perspective of how beautiful your hair is.

The comment on the ponytail was REAL. I also went to a predominantly white primary school growing up and for me it was the fringe (or bangs lol) I wanted a fringe soooo bad I would put a headscarf on my head to imitate a fringe at home and I’d feel so beautiful even though I definitely must’ve looked a hot mess. Embracing the notion of upward growth is so magical. I love when people say our hair defies gravity because it really feels like a gift from nature. Great video topic as always, thanks for sharing your experiences ❤️

I think it's interesting to keep in mind that in precolonial Africa, hair was braided and people had so many different styles, cuts, natural products. Hair told a story of your age, social status, marital status etc.. It was rarely just left as it was for many different tribes. It was such an important tool for self expression and identity. l think it's normal that we might want to do something extra with it. Nothing wrong with leaving it and combing it (or not) into a beautiful afro.

once you mentioned the "ponytail swing," i clapped at my computer bc omg i wanted that bounce so bad too!! it wasn't until i got sew ins and the like but i felt my most feminine with them in. i cut my hair into a pixie cut about a year ago, and have been dressing more "masculine" bc i assumedly felt more masculine due to my hair being shorter (also nonbinary vibes hehe). tbh this video was amazing to see as someone who also grew up in predominately white spaces. my childhood experiences feel so seen :')

When I got box braids for the first time I was so excited because 'I looked like a girl' My brother was confused, so I listed off names of girls my age (all white) But then I also realized I never appreciated cornrows because 'I looked like a boy' because it looked like I had no or short hair Now, in big part thanks to TikTok, I realized a lot of natural Black hairstyles are pretty gender neutral (afro, locs, twists, dreads, and so on) You said someone mistook you for a guy, but I know a guy with an afro who kept getting mistaken as a girl (from the back)

100% relatable. I always wore my hair natural but in twist outs or braid outs. I didn't start doing a wash and go until I was 30 and the stylist pointed out what beautiful tiny corkscrew curls I had. Honestly it never before occurred to me that my hair could be considered pretty or even acceptable. I recently started wearing extensions and definitely notice that pretty privilege is a thing and I didn't experience it when I wore my hair natural for the past 10 plus years. I thought I'd basically become invisible because I was older but turns out the world just isn't ready for these curls. It's kinda sad and frustrating but it is what it is.

Grew up in a predominantly white area too, had my hair relaxed at 4 years old until middle school. It was damaged, short, and caused me a lot of emotional damage. I decided to say no to relaxers and go natural, though i didn’t start wearing it out freely until college. It’s been liberating for me to wear my natural hair and feel confident. I feel as if i don’t have to hide anymore

Definitely relatable. I’ve been natural since 2014 and I still struggle with loving my hair without manipulation. It’s called a journey for a reason I guess.

I really relate to you on this, being in super white spaces you internalize your differences as parts you may need to shrink or change about yourself. I especially relate to the feeling of realizing people weren't identifying me or like associating me with being a girl or being feminine. All of your feelings and thoughts are super valid! Thank you for sharing with us :)

You couldn't have posted this at a better time. I'm about to take out my braids and I want to start wearing my hair how it grows for a bit. I have all the same thoughts and feelings you expressed so thank you so much! It's nice to see someone going on this same journey

Amanda!!! Not your poem having me in tears! So raw and so beautiful. This is something I identify with deeply and I’m so glad that you shed light on this topic! Black women are the only demographic that grow up feeling ashamed of the way our hair naturally grows from our scalp! I can relate to over compensating for the perceived lack of femininity that come with wearing our hair in a short 4c afro by wearing more makeup or larger earrings. I can relate to constantly tugging at my strands to show everyone that it’s much longer than it appears or going back in the archives to show how long it used to be. I’ve spent hundreds upon hundreds of dollars trying to find that right style to hide my hair under! I’ve been natural for 13 years (mostly heat trained or wearing wigs) but no matter how many times I wear my hair out it never quite feels like “me,” and that is a sad realization! Your video has inspired me to try again and continue to re-introduce myself to the real me. Love your content girly!! 🥰

Thank you so much for making this video! Even though I'm Jewish I relate to everything you said. Growing up I was always told how prettier I would be if I my hair was straight, and so I straightened it every day- to a point where I would feel incompetent, unfeminine and childish just existing in my natural state. The part about compensating for your femininity deeply resonated with me. I would always say half-jokingly to my mom that since I am a bit chubby, have a roman nose and curly hair, I have to choose two out of the three to be considered at least somewhat within the beauty standard. Since changing my weight and nose is hard, the least I could do is straighten my hair. But I'm starting to realize the futility of this pursuit, since western beauty standards are at their core antisemitic, racist and fatphobic. Lately I've been trying to wear my hair curly and become more comfortable with it. Something that helps me is thinking about the strong, capable and loving women in my life who also have hair as mine. In addition, just like your poem, I see my hair- and existence- as a monument to the past. It's a giant 'fuck you' to anyone who has ever wished to suppress the existence of my ancestors, as they are living through me. I think of the Audre Lorde quote “caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare”. For black, jewish and POC women, expressing ourselves and treating every part of our looks and identity with love and respect is the most powerful tool we have.

i loooooooved this video! so i used to be a teacher and i did this experiment where for the last month of school i wore my hair in my natural fro or cornrows ( and i don't mean slick back with perfect edges). and it was soooo nice to just wake up, put some water on my head, and walk out the door. i felt so free. there was also one black student in our class and her mom would always do her natural hair in cute styles and i would make sure to compliment her so she can feel good about her 4c fro.

7:55 that happened to a lot of girls at my school. they wore makeup so often that when they didnt, people would ask them if they were sick because they looked so "different". i would go some days with light makeup and some days without so people wouldnt treat me like that🥲

It was a great poem and this was so relatable as I have really really fine 4c hair and I don’t see my hair on any platform and am yet to see it

I loved that poem and I relate so much! Growing up, I always just wanted to fit in and have my type 4 hair swing like all the other girls. It can be difficult to unlearn, but I admire you so much for moving past that, your natural hair is so beautiful ❤

So just read the title, instantly liked. Will watch, but wanted to share that my Uncle recently referred to our hair as “refined.” Never in my life had I heard someone refer to 4c hair in a way that wasn’t condescending but was still incredibly positive.

Thats what I have been saying. The illusion of 4c hair being difficult is because your trying to not have 4c hair. Like when i wear my fro, i just wake up maybe spray some hair refreser liquid shit than go about my day. Even with low maintenance protective hairstyles, I just wake up and go about my day. Where is the hard part? I wash my hair every 2 weeks. White girlies being washing it everyday, and wake up early to straighten it. Why is my hair more difficult?

That poem was amazing

I've started wearing my 4C hair unstretched (detangled! But unstretched) more often and only recently have liked how it looks. Which is crazy because I always like how it looks on other people. I think it looks great on you!

I didn't wear makeup in high school for the same reasons. I wanted to be comfortable with my natural face first.

I have a scalp condition right now so I have to wash my hair regularly and I've been wearing my hair like it grows from my scalp regularly and I can totally relate on the aspect of femininity and how I'm perceived with it out especially since it is not like the "acceptable" length but it has definitely been easier to take care of than I told myself it would be. Definitely challenging why I think it isn't the most presentable or whatever in certain situations and just accepting it to exist as it is. Thank you for being vulnerable and putting this out

i loved your poem omg !! and you wrote it as a kid thats amazing

Hey Amanda, I grew up in a predominantly white neighbourhood as well (suburbs of Toronto). I vividly remember wanting my hair to swing and having the same feeling with my box braids, lol! It sounds silly now but that feeling was so real! I really loved your poem btw! It was soo good!! 😍 Thank you for your vulnerability. It's always good to connect with like-minded people. I also loved seeing Nella's afro in The Other Black Girl. I felt seen and it was great! 😍You look very pretty btw!!!

4c hair IS good hair. We have to delete the negative programing around our natural hair, beauty and femininity in order to truly love on and enjoying wearing our hair and making it it's best self instead of wishing it was something else. All hair is good hair when it's healthy - that's what most important. I'm 4A and I remember one day early in my natural journey about 10yrs ago or so my Mom telling me I needed to go do my hair because I was wearing it as is in its shrunken clean state with a bobby pin or two. I told her it was done and she just shook her head LOL I love this content. Keep it growing.

Ok but in the ballet video you looked the best!! I don’t even “do” instagram but I recalled seeing that and how it made me feel. Not “comparing”you to the others but as a black girl with 4 something hair it was just beautiful to me and it affected me so much and I didn’t even know it. It should be regular. It’s soooo beautiful. I was raised with white people too and though I didn’t really envy their hair, I loved how in my first week of moving to the south to attend an hbcu we had a guest speaker talk about how we are special because our hair grows toward the sun. I wish we all were comfortable wearing our hair in its natural state.

This was such a big part of why I loc’ed my hair. I stopped wearing my natural hair out at all for around 3 years and it made me sad how most of the feelings I felt towards my hair were stress and anger. I’m only 8 months loc’ed now but sometimes I’ll style my hair or even just have an exceptionally good hair day and be in awe of how good I feel about myself as I am. Even though locs are a type of manipulation I’m enjoying my hair far more than I think I ever have. Your hair is so beautiful just as it is and I hope we can all find our path to realizing we’re all perfectly made

Such a beautiful and candid conversation. 🙏 thank you for this!!My mom entered the workforce in the late 70’s early 80’s here in L. A. and she was NOT allowed to wear braids or an afro. She straightened but mostly wore wigs and weaves. My hair was straightened from like 3-4 years old then I got a jerri curl in the early 80’s (basically a curly perm for afro textured hair) that softened my 4C hair and had to constantly be slathered with the jerri curl wet hair spray to keep the soft curls. Later I got a straightening perm ( relaxer) to keep my hair straight especially when swimming so that my hair would fall, swing, blow in the wind and swish in a pony tail or that I could wear wet to school like ALL girls who have straight hair ( insert your white, Asian, Latino culture here basically everybody but me). To me that wasn’t such a big deal but it was a big deal to the boys so it became an issue for girls like me. At 19 I cut my perm off waayyy before the natural hair movement in 1992. I never knew what my real hair texture looked or felt like. I wore dreadlocks for about 20 years after that then cut them off and have experimented with braids, crochet styles, wigs and even the occasional straightening. For me my 4C hair IS challenging because I work in a government office and am sometimes on camera so walking the line between natural but groomed is a fine line for those looking in. And honestly I get waaayyy more complements when I wear a wig, braids or straighten it. IRL for me, there are very few who view my short fro as beautiful, even though I look in the mirror and I 1000 percent know it is. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I agree so much with your points on femininity. I also had a realization in elementary school that people didn't really perceive me as a girl. But what I've noticed about being perceived as more masculine is that I get taken more seriously and treated more as an equal by my male peers. I think that people who fit into that rigid Western standard of femininity that you described tend to be treated well or at least acknowledged because of their attractiveness, which, because we live in a society, plays a heavy part in an individual's perceived worth. The girls who are seen as masculine, the girls who aren't perceived as girls, get taken more seriously because they aren't feminine; they are seen as more worthy of actual respect and attention, but at the same time, they become "unattractive". I know a lot of girls who don't fit into that rigid mould but are still perceived as girls, and they are overlooked by guys that would otherwise talk to me as they would anyone else.

It's because society tells you you're not supposed to feel comfortable with your natural hair. Whether it's through getting a job, how you're treated and comments people say to you.

you also. look absolutely stunning. and, u lied and said it doesn’t frame your face! your fro is gorgeously framing your face 🥰

I love your fro. I feel like each style gives me a different vibe - just like clothes. An Afro feels free-er to me, like an artist creating something or a woman strolling barefoot through a field of flowers in a sundress. Just feminine and free 🤎💖✨

I lowkey cried watching this I also grew up around mostly white ppl and I know other woman have my hair type but I still feel alone in trying to love my natural hair. It felt like a mini therapy session and I wish as black woman we could come together, love each other and have a safe place to express our struggles. Hopefully one day I’ll work up to wearing my hair shrunken !!

Beautiful sweet poem, I didn’t think it was cringe at all! Very earnest ❤️ great video

Black hair isn't nappy its just dehydrated. Ever since I Started using products that keeps my hair hydrated, it never gets tangled and has grown a lot.

Literally the struggles I went through as a child with a mom and older sister with relaxed hair. I was relaxed from ages 4 to 14 and was convinced for the majority of my early childhood that I had naturally straight hair LMAOOOO. When I finally fought against it and big chopped, I was made fun of by my family and peers. I just learned to keep going despite the backlash (and also got into wigs and crochet to hide my hair). I thought I moved past it when my hair grew out long and I was happy with it, but after doing a big chop last year I understand that I'm still battling a lot of internal hatred against my hair and what it means for my femininity.

My hair has been natural since 2009 and have been wearing it out since 2015. I was between weaves and just decided go for it. Never in my life have i felt more like me. Wish i would have known to do this before. Im the laziest natural. Im not doing twist outs, partly out of laziness but mostly I don't want to mimic a hair type that isn't mine. I wear my hair free form afros, roll/tucks or high puffs. At first certain persuasion of people would make micro aggressive comments like "why did I bother doing my hair, yours looks better" implying my hair wasn't done when I did do my hair. Or "your hair looks so much better straight." But I feel that I'm so much more confident with my hair the way it grows. I absolutely LOVE my hair ❤.

Your natural hair is beautiful.

I’d have never known ‘in between’ Afro’s were missing until this. You’re giving us answers to questions no one even knew to ask, and from the sound of it, you didn’t even know. This is way more precise and calculated than you may have intended it to be.

the fro looks really nice! definitely feel like a lot of black kids, especially growing up either upper middle class or in a predominantly white neighborhood or even a bit ostracized from other black folks, have the same experience. i have pretty complicated relationship with my hair. i rock the weird "good at smash bros" 4c afro and i definitely had a medusa phase where i felt like i was battling with it constantly. after a while, i just kind of gave up and tried to accept whatever is going on up there as long as its healthy. bc i am a male and lived in a household where growing out your hair as a man was discouraged i felt like i didnt really have much guidance besides youtube tutorials and ive always been frustrated with the state of my hair. that being said, your conclusion is excellent. everyone should accept and appreciate the way their hair grows naturally as difficult as it may be to confront. i think ive come a long way myself since highschool but i feel i still have a long way to go

wait the poem was rlly good

Great video about the intersection of race, gender, and beauty

The level of "I relate to this on every count" is unreal. Same same same same. Not to JUST highlight the romantic aspect because everything you said in this video is important and you could've easily taken these notes from my own life and thought processes... But, once I found myself in a situation where I was set to travel with my partner and didn't get to do my braids as I usually like to do while traveling mostly for convenience as I tell myself, and the panic that hit me (he is white) when I realised he'd be seeing me for the first time with my hair out. Wow. And it was uncomfortable in all the ways you could think of. I spent the first half of that trip asking around and trying to figure out where I could do my hair while we were there (African country so I was like, there's a place). Long story short, I did not end up doing my hair. My hair was dry af, had zero products with me so it wasn't even in a good state and I couldn't manipulate it much. He saw me literally not done up. Interestingly, this spurred on curiosity in him. He was there when I did my twists at night before bed, watched me at times, asked questions. He was curious more than anything while I worked through being seen in a possibly different light by my partner. I was afraid he'd not find me attractive, back away, I'd not be what he signed up for, as you said. Can I tell you the RELIEF I felt after that trip. We're long distance and it's likely that had things not occured as they did where I was forced to have my hair out, he probably still would not have seen me in my natural hair. And I hate to say it, because like you I also want my partner to see ALL of me, especially in my most bare state, if you will. Who wouldn't want that? Although I wore my afro proudly on my online profile where we met, it was still manipulated and lush and "put together" if you will. This time, he got to see the nitty gritty of hair in varying situations. It's so sad we've been programmed to be ashamed of our hair. I am STILL working through showing up in spaces (that tend to be quite white) whether its work, socially, etc, and feeling beautiful and complete and like I'm not lacking when I show up with my hair as is. Whew. Long story. Black women, you are insanely beautiful. I love seeing us wear our hair and constantly defy the standard and create one for ourselves instead. Go out there and be great. Thank you for your voice, dear Amanda.

It's why I've decided to stop wearing wigs for a while and embrace my locs because I had the mentally that I looked finer anytime I wore a wig.

really love this video! I also have 4C hair. Haven’t worn it out much this year just bc wigs or crochet have been more convenient, but I’ve been wanting to wear it out more and try new styles (besides my usual puff) I actually love the way my hair looks shrunken and getting out the shower, but I’m also scared of it tangling so I just twist and braid it up. You’ve actually inspired me to play around with it in it’s shrunken, non twisted state. I can also relate to the “ponytail swing” takes me back to 3rd grade when I thought petroleum jelly would make my hair swing 💀💀💀Your fro looks so cute!! ☺️

happy for you to feel good in your natural way! As a queer more androgynous person I can relate to the whole battling femininity standards. You naturally have a very beautiful feminine face and I would say more feminine energy, hair in general is always gender neutral, society just puts certain types/ styles in a box. Expressing our selves inspires others to do the same

Okay *screaming* loved this video, your poem, and your thoughts!! You articulated how I have been feeling for so long. I also love the way Nella's hair was in the other black girl!! It was lowkey very therapeutic and made me reflect a lot about my relationship with my hair. I also loved Ayo's hair in Bottoms.I hope I can get to the point where I look at my hair and love it without any type of manipulation. My therapist actually asked my what would it look like to just properly care for my hair and leave it at that. And that helped reframe a little bit. Thank you for sharing

I love how sweet and vulnerable this is and you look SO cute with your afro

You make any hairstyle look stunning. ❤

Love love love this video. It captures the candid thoughts of myself and (presumably) a lot of black girls and women have had over the years ‼️

This was way too relatable! I am so thankful you made this video because it put into words exactly how I’ve been feeling for the majority of my life. I think these conversations are soooo important and I always have to remind myself that having natural 4c is a journey but it is not one you have to go through alone! Thank you so much for this and you look beautiful!

You look amazing, I'm glad your getting comfortable with your natural hair! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

So glad you made this video. I have been natural for two years now and I’m loving my hair , glad you are having this conversation

I LOVE your hair natural omgg it brings out your doll features ❤

Definitely relate. I've came along way of accepting my hair with how it is and to start loving it. Especially in it's length.

I appreciate this video ❤ Its so thoughtful and candid. Every thought you ran thru is something I've mulled over - from what manipulation means, to the freedom that is shrunken hair, to attraction being authentic and sincere when I'm my most natural. Great job - really hope this video helps many ❤.

I really really appreciate you for uploading a video on 4c hair so thank you

I actually really liked your poem! I'm glad you left it in the final cut.

your hair looks gorgeous

Nice video! I also think some people say it's unmanageable because they don't actually know how to take care of it or what works for them. Like, your hair doesn't get very tangled if you always comb/style it with a bit of water. That's hard to learn though in a country like the U.S., even with the internet a lot of "natural hair" advice is for high porosity hair or other curl types but feign otherwise. (I used castor oil for years b/c I was told to but it was actually breaking my low porosity hair off!)

ngl locing my hair has been the only thing tht gives me the confidence to wear it as is

literally took off my wig and moisturized my fro while watching 🖤

Your hair is so beautiful, and I love your poem too 😍 thanks for the video

such a personal and amazing video! thanks so much for this

I relate to most of your experience. Especially the part about feeling the pressure to compensate for femininity.

You are absolutely goregous! And I love your poem!

I’m a Japanese guy and this video was nice to watch 😌😌😌very relaxing to hear your voice 🫶🏻

the poem was really good!!

Thank you for articulating your thoughts and feelings so well! I can 100% relate.

Your skin is gorgeousssssssss and your hair looks healthy and beautiful, wishing you all the best on your journey my love ❤

so happy for you, it looks amazing ! thank you for sharing, heartening and inspiring me and i hope many others

Your hair looks very pretty and healthy! Compliments you really well😍

This was great. I can relate to that desire to feel comfortable with how you naturally look. I find my 4C hair easy to handle once the ends are trimmed and I just work with its natural tendencies. Thanks for being so honest about your experience. Good luck with your journey!

your fro is so beautiful 💓💓 i consistently had a fro for a few years (9th grade to 12th grade) only doing my own braids once every few months and keeping them for less than a month because i missed my fro so much. when i first cut my hair, i used to feel so bad about how short it was and sometimes my friends made me the butt of the joke for being "bald" and i played into it so it would feel less bad. but it grew pretty long actually. ive had locs since i graduated high school and sometimes i really really miss my fro even though i love my locs! i love this video n how you presented your wisdom. i hope this helps a person younger than us who has hair like ours and doesnt feel goos about it. thank you💓💓

I love the way you speak

The ponytail swing thing is real though, I love my hair in a Dora the explorer style triangle cut, but I always end up growing my hair out sometimes because I miss being able to get my hair in a high pony tail or bun so it’s out of my face but that ponytail swing is so fun until you whip your own face lol. But also I feel like with hair you always want what you don’t have. When my hair is short I miss the length so I can get it completely off my face and neck. When it’s long I miss how fast it dries and how much easier it is to style short. When my hair is in its curls/waves I hate the frizz and how unpredictable natural curls are. When my curls fall down and my hair is basically straight I hate how boring it is. Right now my hair is dyed purple and I love how it looks but the whole washing process and having to think about transfer to my pillows or whatever if my hair gets damp, but before I died it I was so so bored of the brown even though everyone always complimented my natural color. The best thing about hair is that it grows back, hair feels so high stakes because it’s such a big part of our appearance, but it’s also so low stakes because even if you bleach it and dye it bright green, if you cut it off it’ll grow back in your regular color no harm no foul. Getting a full on pixie cut/buzz cut at some point in life is 10/10 because even if you don’t end up wanting to keep it short you learn that it’s not the end of the world and for me at least I’m just not as freaked out about just trying stuff with my hair. Also your natural hair is beautiful! I love the little fro, it’s so disco in the best possible way! I hope you enjoy your experiment and have fun with it. I really think there’s a great new years look on the cards for you with a sequin dress and silver chunky glitter eyeshadow look with the fro and I’m envisioning goldfish earrings with that. But my taste is trash so take my advice at your own risk.

I stumbled on this video at the perfect time. I was planning on taking my old braids out this night and putting in twists. I'm in college and I always worry about what I'm going to do to my hair during its transition to another hairstyle and it dawned on me how I never even consider just wearing my hair in its natural state because I almost never see anyone with 4c hair just wear it naturally. This inspired me to just wear my hair and stop worrying about what people think. Thank you so much for making this video❤.

i really really love this video. I'm super passionate about advocating and uplifting black women wearing their natural type 4 hair and I don't mean to feed into the whole thing about attaching too much of our self worth to beauty - also it's kinda cliche what I'm about to say - but honestly your ridiculously gorgeous features are so much on display and brought out by your afro. in the same way you said aisha brought you confidence to wear your hair shruken, i now feel a bit more confident about wearing my hair shrunken! thanks for the video and sharing your thoughts

Also I do relate 100% to everything you said about hair and make up. It’s tough out here but I pray you get to wherever you desire to be with your relationship with your hair

You look beautiful and hearing your story was really lovely. I think the discourse surrounding natural black hair is often either wear your natural hair and be proud or do whatever you like with your hair it's just hair I think instead of having to pick a side acknowledging that you can accept it all yes you can wear your hair however you like we're autonomous beings and its our own choice what we like and feel comfortable with AND yes we do live in a world where 4c hair is not the beauty standard in the western world and it does require active framing of thoughts and effort to love and embrace in its natural state to counteract that.

So much of this video is relatable. Especially wanting hair that moves like white girls hair does when i was younger. Honetly the Whip My Hair video did a lot for 8 year old me in thinking of my braids as cool in its own right rather than an immitation of that. One of my liberatory moments was cutting off all my hair in high school. I still ocassionally miss having shoulder length hair but just the freedom it gave me was amazing

Having a channel like this is very powerful,this is my first time going natural and the tension is insane.thank you for this educational freedom.

OMG, your poem legit gave me goosebumps ...

You're hair is beautiful! I've been natural for almost ten years, I have predominantly 4C textured hair. It's definitely been a journey of learning and "accepting" what my hairs natural tendencies are with and without product... I grew up during a time when there wasn't a lot of representations of 4C hair in its natural state, and we didn't have YT back then hence I didn't know what to expect of my hair nor how to care for it after transitioning to natural... Honestly it's been tough learning my hair. I transitioned from relaxed to natural in my late 30s I'm now close to 50 years old dealing with hormonal shifts and physical health challenges which have effected my hairs health... I love my natural hair, I love the texture etc but it's a lot of "work" to maintain and I'm aware that it's unpopular to admit that natural hair can take extra effort but for me this has been very true... I'm not a professional hair stylist, and can't afford repeat trips to the hair salon at this time, I simply don't always feel like the extra steps necessary to maintain my hair myself... I'm also a natural who happens to live with a physical health condition which reduces the amount of physical energy as well as dexterity I can spare for "one" task as for hair extensions braids? etc. I had never worn extensions until a week or so ago... Prior to my experience with the extensions I had always worn my own hair even while relaxed. the extensions are similar in texture to my own hair in fact it blended well enough that it was assumed my own hair during a public outing... I might wear them again once in a while on those extra lazy days, I think it's okay to wear and do whatever we want with our hair, if we want to wear it natural awesome, if we want to relax or wear extensions that's okay too I'm subscribed to both relaxed and natural hair and beauty channels all have great info, we should do whatever makes us Happy! and helps us get on with our day I don't have any immediate plans to relax my natural hair but I never say never because who knows? I might change my mind one day... I think there's far too much judgement around natural hair care in terms of what someone chooses to do with there hair and why. I think it's wonderful that we are learning to embrace our hair in its natural state, but we shouldn't be harshly criticized or judged if we choose to relax or wear extensions and or braids either... Natural hair is beautiful but it does require a different level of care and time to maintain and sometimes we may not be in the mood or have the additional energy to care for it especially if we are extra busy with other things. I know this is long, my apologies you're video is so thought provoking I wanted to add something to the conversation, I hope my grammar isn't too terrible, haha. have a great weekend ❤

your natural hair looks great

So vulnerable & relateable !!

not only is your hair beautiful but it also looks beautiful on you🥰

Happy for you girl! 🌈

I grew up as the only black girl in my otherwise all-white elementary school. Minnesota. 🫠 My mom started relaxing my hair (followed by immediate straightening) when I was 8 and I only decided to go natural a few years ago at age 27. I was so excited to big chop and watch my hair grow, if only to find out what my hair texture was for the first time in almost 10 years 😂 Occasionally I switch it up with a protective style like box braids or twists, but now I’m OBSESSED with my poof. It’s roundness suits my personality so much, as a girly girl. ❤ 💅🏾

I relate so much to wanting someone to fall in love with you in your natural state! That's one of the reasons I wear my natural hair most of the time. I want to attract the right people.

That was a beautiful poem. 10s across the board and your hair and you look gorgeous.