we overestimate and get disappointed. we should start seeing people for who they are and how much amount they are giving or can give at the moment. We often live the potential of people. So we try to help them build that potential but sometimes reality knocks us down.

As an INFJ for over 50 years I realize that during the last 6 months I finally have experienced some kind of breakthrough. And that in relation to eventually connecting the dots between my personality, my traits, needs, values and so on. In order to feel grounded and experience greater balance it all comes down to building good habits for me. Those habits then are molded into good routines. I view those routines as my foundation for a safer, clearer, more predictable framework for giving myself the opportunity to continously grow, develop and improve my life. Today I know whats important to me and why. Having that awareness makes it so much easier to be clear about my personal boundaries and hold myself accountable to live by them. My Why, How, and What took years to pinpoint. But I am so glad I did, and never gave up. Through years of chronic illness and depression as a result/concequence of living a life out of balance, out of touch with myself, with so much reactive and external focus, loosing control and most important the power of my own life. It finally feels like I somehow arrived where I am supposed to be. Wenzel and others have been great sources of help, knowledge and direction in that regard. So, just for today, I salute you wenzel and all the infjs around, and express my gratitude for all help and contribution along the way. Be well, S.

My 8 year relationship fell apart due to these dynamics, where I rotted away focusing all my energy and building my partner up to have an amazing and confident life. Now been building myself back up from emotional bankruptcy and wishing I could've found a way to do it while in the relationship.

Try to be the thing you look for. Have to show people more than that in a simple way, because no one cares about mbti like infj's. Try saying, I want to be loved for being loyal and trustworthy, for my big heart. You need to define that to yourself and you will see these properties in potential partners. If your head is a mess, you'll end up with messy people. ❤️👍💫

We overstay most times. Always ready to ride the waves, others aren't able to. We see the outcome of hard times when others aren't able to. We're patient when invested. We expect our partners to feel the same. We see all possibilities and feel all outcomes. And get surprised when the other person gives up and ends it. Especially when you know all it would have taken is a bit of patience

This has come up at the perfect time for me. I have been dating a guy that's been showing a lot of insecurity. It helps to be reminded of my needs.

Number 5 is indeed hard for me as I seem to always be involved with at least one narcissist who tells me that love is indeed conditional.

Number 5 is the one I have to learn and practice. I am so good at pretending to be the person to make people love me initially, because I understand what they want, but it is so tiring keeping doing that. And it gets harder later because they expect you to be like that, they higher standard just only for you. If you don’t meet their need, they hate you immediately. That scare me, people stop loving me when I start being me.

I was a bit premature with my first comment. It's so true. We put others over ourselves every single time, and the outcome is always the same. Only the heartbreak is harder each time. It's almost like we're getting closer each time but still coming up short. I've started thinking that it's all meant to be, and I'll get there in the end. But listening to this, I can see and feel where I'm getting it wrong with the authenticity. Thank you for this video. 😊💙

I had a friend who was always talking to his INFJ wife about her potential. He didn't even see how unhappy he was making her with these comments, because he thought he was helping her become a better person. Finally I told him that the actual message she was hearing was "You aren't good enough the way you are. You need to change to suit my expectations." This surprised him, because he thought his intentions were good and she should see herself through his eyes. I pointed out to him that his remarks were actually making her uncomfortable and feel like she had to change to earn his love. Good intentions are not an excuse for hurting someone!

Truth be Told : Napoleon s tug to failure @ Waterloo and indecisive merit for staying in Moscow with ❄️ 🌨️ in effect , was .... Josephine 🌨️❄️

I plea guilty as charged, all the 5 issues. I am lovable only for existing, but I expected someone else to say it...

Thank you Wenzes for this excellent video. I have been thinking about what you have been saying a lot! As an INFJ mental health therapist, it has been very easy for me to support and counsel others in my role as a therapist. The problem is that with all of that training which I received in my early twenties in graduate school, I learned to be the ultimate INFJ -the INFJ on steroids if you will. Basically if you are an INFJ you know what I mean. It is hard to turn off that part of yourself that molds to and wants to support and help those who seem to need it. So this video was especially helpful to me, reminding me that my natural skill to be a supportive and helpful therapist shouldn't follow me into every area of my life. I was reflecting yesterday that I am not truly myself with very many people, maybe only one or two. But why should that be? I need to bring more of who I am fundamentally, into my friendships and relationships. It's not that I am afraid to do that, I'm just afraid it will shock everyone around me if they really knew what I think and believe. Are my values and beliefs controversial? No! Mostly my INFJ intuition just might scare some people because most people don't seem to have a deep understanding of interpersonal relationships, motivations, and the true reasons for conflict and controversy. Most people see life in very shallow ways. So I say very little about what I think. Is this "hiding" what I see, a bad thing? I don't know. Still mulling this over. If you are an INFJ I know that you do this too! You hide what you think and see... What do you think? Is it a bad thing? Still trying to find a balance between revealing enough about myself and revealing too much (and overwhelming others who don't understand life deeply).

Wow thank you! I love learning about myself. There's so much unknown because I've always put everyone else first.

Wow, that last one hit me hard. So true. Thanks for the insight.

wonderful video as always! but in #1 i think you mean "meld" not "melt." This comes at the perfect time for me, i need these reminders right now. Thank you!

I love how brown your hair is miss wenzes👍👍👍👍👍

Off topic but...1.6K views but only a couple hundred "likes"? Come on people! Give a "like"!

was your mum overbearing and overwhelming as an ESFJ ? They are usually very sweet, very giving but also need a lot too and really want people to fit in the box culturally, so badly

It's only took me fifty years I'm not fussy as long as she's sweet kind gentle understanding, based rh neg red pilled honest beautiful spiritual illuminated tough courageous wise dicerning balanced, apart from that I'm not fussed❤️🙏😇

@9:40 This is what women in general expect from men: what can you give me, and how do you make me feel in this moment? It's very shallow me-oriented immaturity, not someone you can form a long term bond with.

Thanks, I needed to hear that, esp. no. 1. It´s like I change my personality, dependent on whom I´m with and that scared and embarrased me so much.

✨ let us charge ahead straight into the epic life ✨

The most amazing thing is melting with someone.but don't forget who you are

What are some of your biggest lessons learned as an INFJ when it comes to relationships?

I wonder if the correct English word is meld (not melt).

Pure Gold! Thank you!

OMG Wenze's I thank you for this information,I've a long distance relationship and happy.However,you're right that of proving love.I'll consider what you've said.Wenze's you're the best for guidance.Jerome

Spot on again Wenzes. Words of wisdom as usual.

Thank You

So love this one. Mahalo.

Omg, these all apply to me 😅 I found your channel last year and I watch your video religiously every week ❤

Thank you

I find that a lot don't have energy 🤷 I give up 😂💛✨

THANK YOU for this video. Just in the right time for me, since I am in a period in which I am trying to figure out my exact needs in a relationship just because of the skipped things you said. I know most of them, but said in this exact way I now truly believe I was right about what boundries and knowledge of myself as a person would have been helpful.. Thanks!

Five very important points! It was good to hear them I especially appreciated #1. I needed to learn and finally did learn, that no matter how united we are, it doesn't change who I am. And more often than not, I had to remind him of that. And I also had to remind myself of that as well, so as not to get "lost" in the other person. Sometimes it seemed like the other person actually wanted me to lose myself in him. I've had to point out to a number of the guys that I've dated that I am a musician, an artist, and do a lot of other things that interest me, and that a relationship with him isn't going to change that. So I can definitely vouch for the things you've counseled on point number one. It's very real because no matter how devoted we are to each other, we still are ourselves. And it fits very well with the next point that you made, that we need "breathing time," and some time alone. So you've made some good points in this video.

Once again you are spot on, every video you make brings just a little more clarity. Some might say it’s like lining up the chakra points. I guess you can be considered the chiropractic doctor of chakra ,thank you.

Hi Wenzes. I've been watching your videos for at least 2 years now and they are the best therapy there is out there, especially for INFJ's. I was wondering if you offer the option to work one on one, privately. If so, how would I go about that? Thanks💗

I got seriose problems.. oh wait... Not my problem lol, I can stop anytime I want!!! "stuff more cheese cake in pie hole"

Maybe infjs are just sent here to improve others in various ways. Maybe that's our mission ..to help and give without expectation. Because we can see through people and know what they need. We are self sufficient happy and capable of finding or making our own happiness. Maybe we are here for others.

So many INFJs have bright blue eyes, myself included

Sleep Token - Chokehold cover by Ramos

😂 how is the patient today? From family to dating.

Opposites do attract

I'm not into polygamy doesn't work for me so loyalty is one of the biggest standards

Melt or meld?

These are my non negotiables, if you feel like it's too much to bare...you can politely....get tf on somewhere ✌🏾💋

Does it just make more sense for INFJs to connect with INFJs in romantic relationships so people understand and not constantly just butt heads?

He or she doesn't abuse us just because he or she is more caring and is making sure we eat and go to sleep on time and is being honest and staying loyal

❤

I was completely unrelateable as a Male INFJ

This is absurd. No love interest wants to haggle over all this. I can’t even remember it all.

My biggest lessons as an INFJ is that it's hard to find women who understand INFJ men, and want to be with us, because we can be very intense, and hopelessly romantic right out of the gate. And the reason for that is, we've already done our internal homework, and know how we feel about that person. They haven't done that about us, because they're not the same personality type, so it becomes very one-sided, extremely quickly. Only the right person will understand this, and accept you for you. It seems like I will never meet her...Whoever she might be. 😞

❤💐👍

Is there any INFJs in happy relationships? Or in any at all?

Relationships should be 50-50 if it's 50 -20 then the relationship will not thrive and the two people should be allowed to be themselves and not to expect their partners to change who they are. Everyone is on a journey and they go at their own speed if the person expects too much from their partner the relationship will be doomed .

Keep God 1st place 😘

There’s nobody capable of dealing with an INFJ. Bah

she thinks she knows what she is talking about lol

Thank You Wenzes, you nailed it once again! Wishing you a Glorius Week!

I’m really interested in you you’re everything I need