5 Signs He Has Crippling Low Self Esteem - Commitment Triggers

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Commitment Triggers

Commitment Triggers

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“You are not good enough, you never will be.”
He yelled across the room, making sure she heard exactly what he said and that it made an impact.
This actually happened to a female friend of mine recently. And unfortunately some women tolerate this type of behaviour from their man for way too long.
When a man has low self esteem, it’s important that you see it, feel it and be aware of how it will affects you, long term. A man who is masculine at his core would never admit to having low self esteem, so it often comes out in very controlling or even abusive ways.
So in this video, let’s talk about the 5 telltale signs that a man has crippling low self esteem.
Hey it’s D. Shen here. I’m the founder of Shen Wade Media & Commitment Triggers where we teach you how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily attracts high quality men into your life and inspire them to want to commit deeply to you.
I want to share with you these 5 telltale signs so that you would never get yourself in that situation where you trade your confidence and self esteem for a man’s approval or momentarily pleasure.
Now if you’re a man watching this, it’s probably not going to be worth your time.
See, the biggest problem with a man who has low self esteem is the fact that he simply cannot be with you, be there for you and want the best for you.
It is even very difficult for him to truly fall in love, not because he doesn’t want to, but because he would have too many subconscious emotional barriers that would prevent him from letting go, becoming vulnerable and letting that natural process of falling in love occur.
(We all know it takes a huge amount of vulnerability to fall in love, the same applies to men!)
A low esteemed man would be too worried about himself and how he fits in this world than to truly appreciate your existence, your radiance and love.
As a woman, it is critical to be aware of low esteemed and low value men because just sometimes their existence will eventually become the cancer to your own self esteem and self worth.
But the biggest problem is that these low esteemed men will often times lie to your face to keep you around and drag things out, making it as painful as possible for as long as possible. Time passes, and the damage is usually not perceived until much later on.
It’s always harder to see things objectively when you’re clouded by emotions.
So today, I want to help you become more aware of these behaviours of low esteemed men.
Let’s not waste any more time.
Here are the 5 telltale signs that he has low self esteem.
Sign 1) he secretly enjoys putting you down.
No, I don’t mean putting you down in a playful “throwing pebbles” type of way. I mean directly or indirectly putting you down, adding unnecessary fears and insecurities into your life.
There’s a very specific term that is used in the scientific community, and that is “low mate value”. And plenty of scientific research now has shown that men with “low mate value” behaves in a very different manner to those men who have “high mate value”.
In a study by Emily Miner and Todd Shackelfod and valerie Starratt, they concluded that men of low mate value deploy more partner direct insults than men of high mate value… and it’s independent of their partner’s mate value.
In other words, bringing their partner’s esteem down as a way to control them and keep them around.
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Пікірлер: 697
@LewdCustomer
@LewdCustomer 6 жыл бұрын
A good person (a good man) let's you feel safe.
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 6 жыл бұрын
Exactly Bob. Right on.
@alyciabagwell9633
@alyciabagwell9633 5 жыл бұрын
A good guy minds his own business and doesn't try to make us fearful of the outside world.
@jetskilover1513
@jetskilover1513 5 жыл бұрын
@Eugene C. lol😂😂😂😂
@SR77736
@SR77736 5 жыл бұрын
@hadu dachar no, safe.
@imalwaysme4332
@imalwaysme4332 5 жыл бұрын
@Eugene C. Jaded much
@juliac9080
@juliac9080 5 жыл бұрын
let him go. TRUST ME good men who will value you are out there. skip the drama. you'll be happier alone for awhile until you met him and if you don't? you'll still be happier alone than with drama.
@princessvictoria3540
@princessvictoria3540 5 жыл бұрын
Julia C Amen! They'll leave you so emotionally drained and confused that when you do meet Mr Right, you'll be all broken and low value like your ex. Best leave while there's still some life left in you
@lindakencana2181
@lindakencana2181 4 жыл бұрын
Julia C thanks Julia i couldnt agree more
@margaretscully8684
@margaretscully8684 4 жыл бұрын
Well said
@margaretscully8684
@margaretscully8684 4 жыл бұрын
OMG, I didn’t know any of this, my Ex always put me down and loved others to fail, he hated me going to the gym
@LP-ko8lb
@LP-ko8lb 6 жыл бұрын
This kind man that sucks you dry out your energy, emotions, and sanity.
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 6 жыл бұрын
Like a vampire?
@MsNobody
@MsNobody 4 жыл бұрын
For real I have never been so in rage at anyone till my ex. I wanted to grab his face & punch it over & over. I hated him so much. I hated him more than the man who cheated on me. This man was a bully, I caught on very early so I just dropped him after being engaged. He wants to come back. Yeah right?
@ChristinaMladuckyJesus
@ChristinaMladuckyJesus 5 жыл бұрын
Yep. This was eye opening ! One red flag is if they get angry easily or very petty and pick you apart aka create something wrong with you to try and feel better than you. And abusers also mostly say they are sorry but their actions may only temporary show it or not show it at all. Know your value sisters ! You don't need a low esteem man , And you don't need emotional abusers, mental abusers, etc... And yes these type of men prey on any failures you may do to try to feed his ego!
@barbarahenderson4736
@barbarahenderson4736 4 жыл бұрын
It goes both ways some has an ego problems thinks their better, no hell you"re not!!!!
@CarmelaMF7402
@CarmelaMF7402 8 жыл бұрын
Excellent points I've learned from your video: 1) Emotional abuse also includes deliberately ignoring their partner privately and publicly. 2) Low-value men constantly yearn for the attention of many women to bolster their frail (and by turns, overblown) ego. 3) A low-value person will take all they can from the people around him, especially women, mostly through manipulation. 4) A low-value person is driven by envy. 5) A low-value person feels a high-value partner will make them look bad. So, a relationship is only as good as the weaker partner. And a high-value relationship thrives on both parties bolstering and nurturing each other's strengths and weaknesses. Thank you so much for the insights! :)
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 8 жыл бұрын
Thanks! Good to know you found valuable insights :)
@jblaney-bolansouthworth7646
@jblaney-bolansouthworth7646 6 жыл бұрын
Commitment Triggers your video mainly just answered ALOT of stuff about my parents other caregivers & my childhood. Anyway thanks for taking those "bricks" off my shoulder & the chocking feeling from my throat. Sad that this is all I've known, all I want now is heathy relationships/friendships.
@m2cx551
@m2cx551 6 жыл бұрын
T
@DeeElectra
@DeeElectra 6 жыл бұрын
i'm dating an insecure guy and it has not been easy these past 7 months. he has disappeared on me twice for about 1-3 weeks. this hurt me emotionally, yet i would still give him another chance when he would ask for it because well, i do have feelings for him & i did fall for him. (first guy i've ever fallen for). he has told me many times that i'm too pretty for him & that he doesn't deserve my attention. he makes many comments/jokes about me seeing another guy. he says things like "were you with your main guy" & "who else have these lips been kissing?" after we kiss. i haven't done anything to make him think i would cheat, & i am not one to ever cheat on someone. i just don't know how to make him believe that he's the only guy i'm interested in. i've told him that i'm falling for him & that i find him attractive, and in person we show a lot of affection towards each other. he may be insecure due to him being 10 years older than me, but i also think he has had an ex girlfriend who cheated.. don't know. but anyway, i hope that we can fix our issues because we both think we have a good connection with each other & i would like a future with him.
@nicolerising3449
@nicolerising3449 6 жыл бұрын
Diana Gallegos that guy is a Narcissist. When he disappears he's with his other girlfriend. He makes jokes about your main boyfriend, because you aren't his only girlfriend, accusing you of cheating is a throw off tactic. Disappearing for weeks at a time isn't ever acceptable without a very, very valid reason, like, being in the Hospital. Run, fast.
@MsNobody
@MsNobody 4 жыл бұрын
My ex fiance became one today. Yesterday he spoke to me in a very disrespectful way. We talked after & told him that if he does this again I will have no problem on leaving him. Today I left him, coz he did it again. I guess he thought I was bluffing. Ladies when you make a threat, follow thru. No one is allowed to hurt, manipulate & talk down on you. leave right away. The only time it's a waste of time is more than one that you gave him. No man is worth thst much. I am worth more than that. Therefore I am walking away.
@mercedesrossell7610
@mercedesrossell7610 7 жыл бұрын
Just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 1/2 months for everyone of these reasons. Glad I woke up even tho my gut and body was telling me before I walked away. Couldn't sleep..lost touch with myself..I was starting to feel insecure..Got my power back! Please ladies if something doesn't feel right, it usually isn't.
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 7 жыл бұрын
Yes! Always trust your gut instinct.
@paulbarnes9490
@paulbarnes9490 6 жыл бұрын
Mercedes Rossell You were dating a narcissist sorry not a person with low self esteem.
@somyan8540
@somyan8540 5 жыл бұрын
"If something doesn't look right, it probably isn't."
@Thatmainchick
@Thatmainchick 4 жыл бұрын
OMG you just described exactly what i just happened to me. dated for 6 months. only reason it went this long was cause he begged me not to break things off. I started having day after day of sleepless nights and nervous stomach all the time. i felt trapped and the nicer and more loving and understanding i acted the meaner and more controlling he acted. i had been working for a few years to build my esteem after growing up in a narcissistic environment. and i was doing very well until he entered my life and started sucking me dry of my positive energy. After i ended it i realized he was making me extremely insecure but he didnt do it directly. things didnt feel right from the second week of us dating but i wanted to make it work cause i liked him. then i decided i just couldnt be with someone that didnt treat me like they loved me.
@DC-se3vr
@DC-se3vr 5 жыл бұрын
I didn’t realize that men who are mean have low self esteem. I always thought it was because they are unhappy. I’ve noticed a pattern of men who get their heartbroken, and treat other women bad because they never got over her. Now I realize unhappiness does trigger low self esteem. Thanks for this video!
@SR77736
@SR77736 5 жыл бұрын
Yup. I was subjected to a mean and emotionally abusive ahole bc he went for women who didn't value or love him. I felt ctappy and left. It did some damage but he definitely had self esteem issues always putting me down and comparing himself to me.
@jesstube112781
@jesstube112781 4 жыл бұрын
Same goes for women. Most of my ex’s were overly jealous because of past boyfriends behavior and they put it on me like I was causing it when I was actually being loyal.
@barbarahenderson4736
@barbarahenderson4736 4 жыл бұрын
Being a drunk and drugs does it worst.
@2legit2Kwit
@2legit2Kwit 5 жыл бұрын
My gut told me to end my relationship 2-3 months into it. I ignored it. We are month 7 now and I ended it today for all the issues you cited in this video and more. I instantly feel better!!!! I have my life ahead of me now and I'm breathing deeper and my chest is more relaxed.
@Vixinaful
@Vixinaful 5 жыл бұрын
This makes perfect sense! Wish I'd seen this video 20 years ago. Met a guy who schredded my confidence completely back in 1997. He was seen as the town dork and I had a hundred friends, (I'm not exxagerating, you should see my phone list) had a cool style and was kind of cocky. When he was done with me, I had stopped colouring my hair, stopped wearing make-up, gotten glasses, dressed down in military green so I would be as invisible as possible and had lost all my friends. Even got on antidepressants. I have to this day not become the person I once was. He died about a month ago, mouthed against the wrong person at a party, whothen beat him to death. So I guess he got his karma but 20 years of my life so far, is gone. Ladies, this is SUPER dangerous! If you notice verbal abuse from a guy NEVER EVER hang with him again! Cut all ties and RUN!
@Bloop.62
@Bloop.62 4 жыл бұрын
Vixinaful you are a hero!
@iamtheoffenderofall
@iamtheoffenderofall 3 жыл бұрын
I would have loved to hear his side of the story. Since women NEVER admit fault in anything that they do....your horrible story lacks credibility.
@nothanks5846
@nothanks5846 Жыл бұрын
So…why were you with him at all? Why were you stooping so low to be with the “town dork”?
@Vixinaful
@Vixinaful Жыл бұрын
@@nothanks5846 To make what would be a loong and complicated answer short: because of my childhood. I thought I couldnt get better and I thought other people had a right to abuse me bc my parents did, I thought I didnt even have a right to exist bc my mother told me it bothered her I was alive. I have since 2018 made one HELL of a journey where I have put all the pieces together and also gone to therapy, even down to how to rid these types Ive figured out so there was no need for me to move or to change my number so I now know how it all fits together. I am sure, that in this lifetime, this was what I came here for: to learn this and now I have and can be happy. No more dorks! 😆
@RT-gu3kc
@RT-gu3kc 6 жыл бұрын
Wish I would have known this earlier in my relationship, I agree with one of the comments, they lack empathy, and you will never be good enough for them since they really hate who they are!..Run while u can..🏃
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 6 жыл бұрын
Thanks Rosalyn :)
@RT-gu3kc
@RT-gu3kc 6 жыл бұрын
You are welcome..
@paulbarnes9490
@paulbarnes9490 6 жыл бұрын
Rosalyn Thompson What a load of rubbish you spew.
@cozettem8226
@cozettem8226 5 жыл бұрын
Rosalyn Thompson That’s because they’re Narcissists.
@TheMonica82
@TheMonica82 5 жыл бұрын
No, a Narcissist does have LOW SELF ESTEEM, that outward "player" confidence IS A Mask! They are very lonely - that's why they play the field, intimacy with one person scares them! It will reveal their Low Self Esteem - so they have many partners - living and telling Lies to each one of them!
@la1tee1da
@la1tee1da 8 жыл бұрын
Every word you said is true of this type of man. This is also characteristic of men with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, unfortunately this is very common.
@carolmurray2825
@carolmurray2825 6 жыл бұрын
how do you know the difference,If they are just selfish or a Narc.????
@paulbarnes9490
@paulbarnes9490 6 жыл бұрын
la1tee1da Nope it's absolute nonsense.
@TheMonica82
@TheMonica82 5 жыл бұрын
Fake self-love a mask = Narcissism.. That's why they can not committe to just one person! Need the attention of many - to inflate the Ego!
@cozettem8226
@cozettem8226 5 жыл бұрын
Daniel Szwedko Narcissist PD is caused by severe low self esteem and lack of self love but it’s buried deep inside and the malignant self love and superiority is the fake persona they present to the world to cover up their low self esteem. Think about it, would a person who was confident and have high self esteem need to insult others, manipulate and control people, act superior and expect people to worship them and never criticize or call them out on their BS? Educate yourself and read up on Narcissistic Personality Disorder instead of getting so defensive and telling everyone they’re wrong. I do this for a living I know about mental health and personality disorders.
@jasminearcher7241
@jasminearcher7241 4 жыл бұрын
Exactly
@angelaisaac1601
@angelaisaac1601 8 жыл бұрын
wow!! Thank you for this video...I dated a man with crippling low self esteem...he criticized the way I danced (that's where I am the most alive), verbally abusive...(I disappointed him)...all of this in 2 months!!!! I ended it, deleted his number....a year later I'm feeling fantastic!!! I am so happy that I didn't allow him to influence my self esteem. I was too much work for him.
@stevea7048
@stevea7048 7 жыл бұрын
Not many people with low self esteem would do this so try not to generalize. He would probably have another mental disorder maybe such as being a narcissist
@luisaallman4711
@luisaallman4711 6 жыл бұрын
Angela Isaac v que tú estás
@SR77736
@SR77736 5 жыл бұрын
Well I've said someone disappointed me bc they weren't being honest. It's not always verbal abuse. That can be an objective statement. If someone isn't who they say they are and you see through it then you have a right to feel disappointed.
@DayaTom
@DayaTom 6 жыл бұрын
Amazing content. I wish the music wasn't so repetitive and loud, it kind of hypnotizes and it's hard to concentrate on the awesome message.
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 6 жыл бұрын
Thank you for that feedback, we'll keep that in mind for future videos :)
@shanaz5138
@shanaz5138 8 жыл бұрын
SoOo true... They are so focused on themself and how they only feel. They cannot feel empathy or compassion.
@elidolo6993
@elidolo6993 7 жыл бұрын
Shan Az I have terrible self-esteem, and depression, and I'm not like this at all..
@jblaney-bolansouthworth7646
@jblaney-bolansouthworth7646 6 жыл бұрын
Emanuel Tejeda you might not be however by being in the lower vibration of low self-esteem you attract others on the same level. Work on your inner stuff then everything else will work out. Cuz it'll repeal them :-)
@PATAMA12345
@PATAMA12345 6 жыл бұрын
Narcissism????
@paulbarnes9490
@paulbarnes9490 6 жыл бұрын
Shan Az You're talking absolute bollocks.
@somyan8540
@somyan8540 5 жыл бұрын
@@elidolo6993 then you are not for a an relationship .
@margotk538
@margotk538 8 жыл бұрын
You are absolutely spot on...I have recently dated a man with low self esteem and I realize that he resent or even hated when people compliments me. He would go as far as changing the topic quickly or try to draw attention to himself...it happened quite a few times and I notice my other friends (guys or girls) will not do that. People who are confident will be fine with others having the spotlight for a mere moment and not be too concern about it.
@stevea7048
@stevea7048 7 жыл бұрын
He doesn't have low self esteem, someone with LSE would avoid the spotlight as much as they could. He would have had narcissism which is a common misconception
@paulbarnes9490
@paulbarnes9490 6 жыл бұрын
Margaux K Nope I disagree what this man is discribing in the video is a narcissist.
@AuthorJanaeMarie
@AuthorJanaeMarie 6 жыл бұрын
I had an old friend who constantly criticized me. Told me I was stupid. Unworthy. Said no one would want me. Told me I needed to say "okay" to him and go along with whatever he says. I was hurt but I finally told him about himself and he didn't like it. He blocked me. Thank God arsehole!
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 6 жыл бұрын
I would not use the word friend to describe this person. Acquaintance at best.
@AuthorJanaeMarie
@AuthorJanaeMarie 5 жыл бұрын
@@CommitmentTriggersDShen you are right!
@binhthanhvo
@binhthanhvo 8 жыл бұрын
I'm guilty of just about all of this and I hope you produce materials aimed at helping guys who are crippled in this manner to heal and move forward with their lives.
@dianedileonardo6353
@dianedileonardo6353 8 жыл бұрын
Good for you! Wish my boyfriend felt this way. I would definitely stay even if he never changed.. as long as he was trying! Good for You. Best of luck in your endeavors.
@bdmenne
@bdmenne 7 жыл бұрын
BT V same here. It makes me believe a bullet is my only salvation or life long 5 therapy sessions a week and ostracized.
@yellagurl3275
@yellagurl3275 7 жыл бұрын
@ least you're asking for help, that's commendable
@cozettem8226
@cozettem8226 5 жыл бұрын
Do things to build yourself up like find hobbies or other things you’re good at. Having successes in life will help build your self esteem. Practice mindfulness and thinking before you speak, asking yourself if what you are about to say or do is hurtful to someone else by imagining if someone said or did the same thing to you. Practice humbleness and gratitude and thinking each day of at least 3 things you’re thankful for. Do charitable and kind things for others not to make yourself look good but because you want to help others just for the sake of helping them. It feels great to help other people who are worse off than us. Don’t brag to others about this either. Helping others does build your self confidence and sense of accomplishment. Volunteer work and philanthropy is a self esteem builder. Practice self-love mantras throughout the day telling yourself “I’m worthy” “I’m good enough” “I’m loveable” “I’m handsome” “I’m intelligent”, “I’m strong”, etc. People with low self esteem put themselves down negatively in their thoughts all day long every day so it’s going to feel foreign and take practice but repeating positive thoughts all day and positive affirmations will eventually make a shift from negative self worth to positive self esteem.
@indym375
@indym375 5 жыл бұрын
@@cozettem8226 At least u know and wanna do something about it
@keyvagardner3096
@keyvagardner3096 8 жыл бұрын
I must say that you are by far one of the best relationship coach I have come across. I love how you present the information and how articulate you explain things. I appreciate your detail and knowledge. After being single for a long time and doing a lot of inner work, I can honestly say that I am well on my way to being a "high valued woman." I am thankful for the insight into the male's mind and need more video's from you. Keep up the amazing work!
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 8 жыл бұрын
+Keyva Gardner Thanks Keyva.
@user-gt3ng5cj3q
@user-gt3ng5cj3q 4 жыл бұрын
I love your energy and expression 😊
@alwaysup4raid186
@alwaysup4raid186 7 жыл бұрын
If I had seen this video years ago it would have saved me SO much pain
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 7 жыл бұрын
Sorry you had to go through so much pain, but hopefully that experience made you a stronger and wiser woman :)
@angelaredfield2380
@angelaredfield2380 8 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video. It helps explain why showing up high value doesn't bring certain men or men with low self esteem closer, it actually repels them.
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 8 жыл бұрын
+Angela Redfield You're welcome. :)
@IamKarryanne
@IamKarryanne 8 жыл бұрын
Yes..it really does.
@abcdefg2283
@abcdefg2283 6 жыл бұрын
But what if Selfish gold digging materialistic narc woman who claim to be high value are just the above mentioned traits. Would that be repeling traits of the woman or low self esteem of the man?
@Goldgirl1978
@Goldgirl1978 5 жыл бұрын
Actually it doesn’t repel them at 1st. They chase a high value woman then lower her standards.
@btam10
@btam10 7 жыл бұрын
I have been fighting low self-esteen for a plenty of time, sometimes is a very hard to endure. thanks for you video
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 7 жыл бұрын
It does take constant practice and discipline, but once you get into the habit, it will come naturally. :)
@TheViolettowne
@TheViolettowne 8 жыл бұрын
This can also apply to new friends. I got sabotaged by two women who I just started getting to know who pulled everyone of these by our third time together.
@vanad557
@vanad557 4 жыл бұрын
These are spot on!! Get out, quick! It get so so much better after you leave. There are so many men out there who will actually see the sparkle you bring to life and appreciate every single waking moment they get with you. Man babies are not the end all/be all to life and love! Just leave and allow a real man to take care of the job.
@InnerIntegration
@InnerIntegration 6 жыл бұрын
You are brilliant and your content is so valuable. I hope you come back to KZfaq!
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 6 жыл бұрын
Thank you Inner, will try to make more videos asap :)
@nicolepace7120
@nicolepace7120 6 жыл бұрын
Yes, brilliant. great information! the two different mindsets of men: do they invest in or exploit women...
@EbonyHaven
@EbonyHaven 8 жыл бұрын
I needed to hear this today. Thank you.
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 8 жыл бұрын
:) Good to know you found great insights. You may want to check out our websites too :)
@sashutka100
@sashutka100 5 жыл бұрын
Hello dear I love your readings :)
@cozettem8226
@cozettem8226 5 жыл бұрын
Everything you described as the low-esteemed man is a Narcissist and my ex-boyfriend, to a “T”,, unfortunately. It reframes my experience, that the reason he was so critical and insulting of me was he saw me as a higher value woman than he is a man.
@lindalemoni5428
@lindalemoni5428 6 жыл бұрын
that is crazy, my abuser used to loooooooove watching those failure youtube clips and i would always wonder how someone can be so fascinated by stuff like that.. he would also always talk about his wonderful past in his high school sports team.. that's where he peaked i guess... it took me a long time to understand that his abuse stems from zero self esteem
@kimvannote5024
@kimvannote5024 6 жыл бұрын
Covert Narcissists - Run!
@christinacataldi877
@christinacataldi877 6 жыл бұрын
Kim Van Note Exactly Kim!!!
@skwilson34
@skwilson34 5 жыл бұрын
@@christinacataldi877 Yep!!!!
@princessvictoria3540
@princessvictoria3540 5 жыл бұрын
OMG yes, true coverts. Always wants you to feel bad for them, always playing the victim in public and jealous and mean at home
@Catherine_Kate
@Catherine_Kate 4 жыл бұрын
🏃‍♀️💨
@wms72
@wms72 6 жыл бұрын
My deceiving ex didn't start to do this until after we were married. Have a LONG, LONG engagement, so his true self comes out.
@transcendingsoul5099
@transcendingsoul5099 8 жыл бұрын
Remembered to add... watching videos like this really helps me feel safe. Following somebody else's guidance when its coming from a great place. I will sure do something new and scary each day - thank you for the great advise - I trust in it.
@YesLauraIam
@YesLauraIam 8 жыл бұрын
Amazing Formal Presentation! Love the organization and references. I just had an realization today that I need to start caring for myself more or I will not have the resources to share when it really counts. Funny that was a closing point. However, it supports my paradigm shift.
@margotk538
@margotk538 8 жыл бұрын
Yes the guy I dated also mentioned he's not comfortable with public speaking, speaking in front of a group of people, or be comfortable to attend social gathering with me without knowing anyone else in the room. He's also uncomfortable to be with other guys who have higher education than him.
@diannebartkus9893
@diannebartkus9893 3 жыл бұрын
OMG! Thank you! You're doing my broken heart so much good. You're letting me know I did the right thing. Broke up after 8 mths becuz he just wont go deeper with me. Shallowness Everything else is more important than me and Im not use to that. Thank you again.
@LonjeMarie7
@LonjeMarie7 5 жыл бұрын
Excellent Excellent video!! Hurting people hurt others.Damaged people damage others.I CANT save him,don’t wanna try,I once I see those negative signs,No matter how much time has passed, I have to leave immediately ,been there done that ain’t going back.I set boundaries with him it didn’t work he fought me,so I had to bounce.I noticed with men when you set your standards either they step up and honor and acknowledge them, or they run away
@KeepHealingSis
@KeepHealingSis 5 жыл бұрын
This video is literally saving my life at this very moment! There simply are no mistakes and I came across this video exactly when I needed it. So I will continue to trust this journey, remain open to whatever this chapter is intended to teach me and fully BECOME what and who I’m intended to be. Thank you for sharing this sacred information. Love and light to everyone on a similar journey. ♥️💫
@whatwhatwhatwhat3953
@whatwhatwhatwhat3953 8 жыл бұрын
There's nothing sexier than a girl who pulls your head towards her shoulder while saying "It's fine. I'm here for you. Just cry it all out." without giving any advice and just silently wipe the tears out of your face.
@kumajoey6031
@kumajoey6031 6 жыл бұрын
damn
@mchris65
@mchris65 6 жыл бұрын
that sounds more motherly than sexy
@PATAMA12345
@PATAMA12345 6 жыл бұрын
Sound like a narcissistic supply to me...
@2legit2Kwit
@2legit2Kwit 5 жыл бұрын
Sounds like a low value man dude
@somyan8540
@somyan8540 5 жыл бұрын
Ik
@pridefulebony3905
@pridefulebony3905 6 жыл бұрын
I dated one for 3 months n i ran for the mountains. Now im healing all the things within myself that attracted him.
@Helianthus123
@Helianthus123 8 жыл бұрын
wow your video touched on so many important topics! I am amazed at this video it exactly describes some men I have known. I really don't tolerate when I detect a man with some of these behaviors. Wish more women would notice and be aware ;-)
@audreysurtees8480
@audreysurtees8480 7 жыл бұрын
Brilliant .... Im in a long term relationship with the love of my life after being apart for 43 years. He is exactly what you have spoken about. I love HIM .... not the way he treats me .... but it feels like I am hitting my head against a brick wall. Everything I do or say is misconstrued and made ugly. I do everything to build him up, help him tick off his bucket list, realise his dreams, be who he wants to be, restore him to hIs former happy self. I guess it is my decision as to the future I walk ....... very difficult as I love him ... just wish he would have the energy to fight for us .... for me.
@paulbarnes9490
@paulbarnes9490 6 жыл бұрын
Audrey Surtees Not brilliant it was nonsense.
@RobinZipporah
@RobinZipporah 5 жыл бұрын
Think it may be time to just focus 😊 on.... Yourself?
@deepthikagunaratne923
@deepthikagunaratne923 7 жыл бұрын
Excellent analysis. So true on what you said about attention seeking, friends, etc. Wish I came across this earlier.
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 7 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your kind words :)
@stevea7048
@stevea7048 7 жыл бұрын
This is a narcissist that is being described, not someone with low self esteem
@paulbarnes9490
@paulbarnes9490 6 жыл бұрын
Deepthika Gunaratne Not excellent it was nonsense.
@paulbarnes9490
@paulbarnes9490 6 жыл бұрын
Steve A Well said sir.
@BruceWayneSteeeze
@BruceWayneSteeeze 8 жыл бұрын
Thank you! For being great enough to expose & hone in on this information. Best of luck on ur journey ⭐️
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 8 жыл бұрын
+BruceWayneSteeeze Thanks! Best of luck to you too! :)
@estherrock1
@estherrock1 8 жыл бұрын
This video has totally open my eyes, I am a very high value woman but the man I love has so low self esteem he even tells me how little he feels phisically... At the beginning I thought it was cute that he showed his insecurities to me but as time has gone by I've realised it doesn't let him neither to commit nor to trust myself a hundred person. Signs number 4 and 5 totally describes him. He's a very good person and has a big heart but those signs are on him constantly. The fact is that now I understand why everytime I have told him any achievements of my studies, my interviews... He doesn't show joy nor empathy, he doesn't give much importance to it which is pretty frustrating because he is always trying to show up his goals and achievements, but when I try to do it... They aren't good enough. I have been involved in many relationships to my young age, but I am a high value woman so that I've been attracting high value man. I don't know how to act or what to do with him. What could I do? Trying to cheer his self esteem up and telling him how much he values? It's as if he couldn't enjoy about other achievements, only his. I wouldn't fight if i didn't know that he loves me and I love him back. Thank you for the vid!
@stevea7048
@stevea7048 7 жыл бұрын
The video isn't helpful for your sort of thing, research online on medical websites or sites specifically for mental illness sufferers as a lot of websites are biased on experiences confused with people with low self esteem. Your man does sound like he has low self esteem but be reminded that if he does then he needs self recognition as that's his only sign that he is worth anything. So if he does go too far then tell him that but show that you care even if he didn't do that one cool thing. But if he is all about himself he is probably s narcissist and you should leave him as they are the people who care about themselves only and are commonly confused to people with low self esteem
@sabrinanascimento5248
@sabrinanascimento5248 6 жыл бұрын
I had a narcissist so he did that. 1 putting you down 2 low esteem man. Verbal abuse, manipulative. Nobody pay attention to him. 3 take value, lot of friends 4 gets pleasure out of failure. 5 can't appreciate her radiance., he abuses. Sounds like Georg Wagner.
@paulbarnes9490
@paulbarnes9490 6 жыл бұрын
Sabrina Nascimento Nonsense
@jbelladove1888
@jbelladove1888 7 жыл бұрын
he is describing my husband... scary.
@burgermister7580
@burgermister7580 5 жыл бұрын
Do you have low self esteem?
@MsNobody
@MsNobody 4 жыл бұрын
Never get married.... At least it's easier to run...
@davidpundo7440
@davidpundo7440 3 жыл бұрын
@@burgermister7580 😁😁😂
@2004danadilworth
@2004danadilworth 3 жыл бұрын
I just found this video and it sounds like my husband.
@missliz20vn68
@missliz20vn68 4 жыл бұрын
Exactly, never one word of appreciation for the things you do or your excellent qualities. How could he give you something that he doesn’t have ?
@lisab5554
@lisab5554 7 жыл бұрын
Wow, very powerful message! Now everything makes sense! Thanks for making this truthful video!
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 6 жыл бұрын
Thank you very much for your most kind words. Good to know you found valuable insights :) for more of these, please check out our websites: thefemininewoman.com and commitmenttriggers.com
@paulbarnes9490
@paulbarnes9490 6 жыл бұрын
Lisa B Not truth it was nonsense.
@khabose2948
@khabose2948 5 жыл бұрын
This was a very good video. I experienced all 5 of these in my last relationship. I picked on it quickly and got out. Every single time something good happened for me work wise or in my life, he would accuse me of cheating or something horrible. And 100% he would try to kill my radiance. Something I never experienced from other men. I’m happy you put these out there so I can look for them IMMEDIATELY when I meet a potential partner in the future 👍🏽 thanks again!
@tavarez415
@tavarez415 7 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your wonderful videos. As I listen to your videos, I find myself learning about the importance of appreciating who I am more. We do not have to change who we are to please another person but because we are looking to become better human being and want to be happier.
@jcisking8664
@jcisking8664 6 жыл бұрын
Wow, you are AWE - SOME!!! Thank you for that! That is exactly what I needed to hear today!!
@amandaanonyuo4240
@amandaanonyuo4240 8 жыл бұрын
This describes my marriage exactly. The only difference is that my husband uses religion/spirituality to bring me and those around us down and to manipulate, etc. According to him, everyone is a false-Christian except him so he never fails to point out others' sins or shortcomings. After 12 years of marriage, I wish I could divorce but can't bear the thought of what that would do to our two children who love him dearly.
@MissKristina07
@MissKristina07 8 жыл бұрын
As someone who grew up in a household with parents who were unhappy with one another, I wished every night my parents would separate. They tried to hide their differences from us as children, but kids understand more than we'd all like to think. Living with two people who couldn't coexist in a healthy way left me to learn how to have a mature relationship on my own. As a woman I now understand what my mother didn't teach me... Which is how to gracefully walk away from something unhealthy, or someone. And I wish I had that example earlier in life. I don't know you or your family, and my opinion is just that of my own, but your comment really hit home for me and I felt compelled to share my story. I wish you positivity and happiness wherever your journey takes you.
@margotk538
@margotk538 8 жыл бұрын
I hear you, the guy I dated is a Christian too and for the longest time I brought into all his deceiving excuses and lies just because of his religion and serving heart. Everyone around me thinks that he's a "great guy" and a "great catch" and when he display those insecure/low self esteem tendencies that hurts me and bring me down I was really hoping that I was wrong and give me chance after chance to prove himself. He would use a lot of biblical phase and christian faith to distract and confuse me with where our relationship is heading (nowhere)...As my friends said, he's a wolf in sheeps clothing.
@blessedsoul6083
@blessedsoul6083 8 жыл бұрын
I was brought up by an abusive father who used religion as his cover to vent out and abuse us. He used to beat me till i bleed, bruised and had cuts just because i was becoming like the 'world'. I was never allowed to be myself but his standard of christian. From my point of view going through this I would seriously urge you to divorce him FOR YOUR CHILDRENS sake. Religion is a very deceptive way of gaining control over people.
@staceykersting461
@staceykersting461 8 жыл бұрын
KRids aren't stupid. If he's putting you down, they know it, even if he doesn't do it overtly in front of them. your kids are learning about relationships from the 2 of you. Wd you want your daughter to put up with that treatment? Wd you want your son to treat his wife or gfriend the same way? This is EXACTLY what hap'ns, you know! You aren't doing your kids any favors. Read up on it .If your kids see you move on and maybe you go back to school, or whatever it takes, they will have a great role model. You will be their hero. Our kids and our planet need more moms like that. No one benefits when mom's not respected. Show your kids you have that self-respect. Your kids will have it as they move out into the world! You CAN do it!
@amandaanonyuo4240
@amandaanonyuo4240 8 жыл бұрын
I'm actually the only successful one in this relationship. I have a BA in Music and I teach Art and Performing Arts at a great private school. My husband didn't finish school and has not worked to provide for our family EVER. Initially his excuse was that he wasn't legally allowed to work in the U.S. but then he was deported 12 yrs ago and I followed him to his country with our 6 month old baby. After years of listening to his reasons for not finding work (usually because he can't be "in the world"....he has serious insecurity issues and can't cope in public/social situations) and after years of my trying to be the "good, submissive Christian wife" and taking his nearly constant verbal abuse and infrequent physical abuse, I finally left him 3 years ago. I ran and took the kids back to the U.S. But, it was really difficult for my children. Behaviorally, my son became nearly impossible to handle and they both missed their father terribly. So, I decided to give my husband one more chance for the sake of the children. (My own emotions are basically non-existent where he is concerned.) He promised things would be different...that there would be no physical abuse, constant criticism/preaching against me, and that he would find work and contribute SOMETHING to our family. I now work at a wonderful school where my children are receiving a Christian education (they never attended school before because he insisted I home-school them) and for the past 2 years he's done NOTHING....nothing except preach against me and everybody I work with. I gave him divorce papers, but he has yet to agree to sign anything. He SAYS he just needs time and he's making plans (getting help from his uncle) to leave in the next couple months. If I don't see something happen from him soon, I'll have to do it myself. As usual.
@simoneroach6354
@simoneroach6354 5 жыл бұрын
Excellently explained. I have experienced this in severely debilitating levels. Message understood and many thanks.
@DatsyukOn94
@DatsyukOn94 5 жыл бұрын
As a man watching i definitely think it's great advice for men, a list of some things for us to work on!
@mostthegames3723
@mostthegames3723 4 жыл бұрын
Fantastic video. The way you explained low esteemed men is spot on. My recent ex of 21/2 years tried to keep me small.
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for watching! For more insights, you may check out thefemininewoman.com and commitmenttriggers.com :)
@nancymc
@nancymc 5 жыл бұрын
D Shen, you ate extremely knowledgeable. It was what I needed to hear, now I know. Thank you
@comet6740
@comet6740 3 жыл бұрын
I'm a guy with low self esteem and I got cheated on and I never abused my significant other.
@bupbeinc
@bupbeinc 8 жыл бұрын
Thank you 💕
@chrysanthemum3464
@chrysanthemum3464 5 жыл бұрын
I divorced a man with all of these traits. He was abusive and tried to kill me and our child on several occasions. My advice is to document everything and prepare to leave safely him. Do not let him know you are leaving him and stay with good friends or family he doesn’t know of or where they live. Do NOT go back to this person or he will make you pay.
@ambergrislo1070
@ambergrislo1070 5 жыл бұрын
Daaaamn calling 'em out!!!!!! I love your work
@dianedileonardo6353
@dianedileonardo6353 8 жыл бұрын
THANK YOU so much for this. I can't tell you how valuable this information is for men I am dating a low value man now and he does all of this! Thank God it's only been for a few short months. I was wondering wth is going on here. Now I am more prepared and more knowledgable and feel more able to handle what is going on or at least see what is going on better. We will see if I can stay in this for the long haul. You may have saved me a lot of unnecessary pain. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I am definitely going to take this into serious consideration. You made my day!!! Subscribed.
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 8 жыл бұрын
+Diane Di Leonardo You're very welcome! Good to know you found great insights :)
@Innessofficial
@Innessofficial 7 жыл бұрын
you are so prepared, top information ,thank you, great job!)
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 7 жыл бұрын
Thanks for your kind words :)
@flagal519
@flagal519 6 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much for this great video....terrific information! You put in very short form, what it took many of us a long time to learn !
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 6 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much! Good to know you found valuable insights :)
@paulbarnes9490
@paulbarnes9490 6 жыл бұрын
diamondgirl33 Sorry it wasn't a great video.
@secretshaman189
@secretshaman189 6 жыл бұрын
Great informative and concise video, thanks so much for your wonderful work!!
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 6 жыл бұрын
Thanks for your kind words :) for more insights, you may check out our websites commitmenttriggers.com and thefemininewoman.com
@paulbarnes9490
@paulbarnes9490 6 жыл бұрын
Lynda Lee Abdo It was garbage.
@user-mg8fw1lw9f
@user-mg8fw1lw9f 3 жыл бұрын
I was just yelled at in a gas station. They knew they were being loud and we were getting stares. It sucks being in this skewed power dynamic. Had I the $$$ to leave I'd have been gone years ago. Before anyone asks why I don't leave, 1. I'd end up homeless and thus vulnerable to attacks 2. Jobs fire me within the month so that kind of instability isn't good if I want to find somewhere to stay
@MM-vg4du
@MM-vg4du 5 жыл бұрын
Thanks very much! You make great sense. Keep up the good work!
@annettepreece4327
@annettepreece4327 7 жыл бұрын
Please take off the music track - it distracts from what you are saying and is very irritating.
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 7 жыл бұрын
Thank you for that feedback.
@evadeenbrickwood6682
@evadeenbrickwood6682 2 жыл бұрын
Watching this, I remember that the guy I was dating for a few months was doing almost all of these things. I had the feeling that he regarded himself as lower in value than me and I tried to convince him that he was valuable, too. Far from it. He'd learned to compensate by talking a lot about himself at parties and guys thought that he was cool. I know better now. Thank you, this was the video I needed to see today.
@Raybets
@Raybets 7 жыл бұрын
Abusive behaviour is not "manliness to the core" ...
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 7 жыл бұрын
Is abusive behavior to be considered as manly?
@breakingbombast4439
@breakingbombast4439 6 жыл бұрын
I must say, the radiance of a woman is the most attractive aspect of her personality, and thanks to your videos, I can understand that is the definition of her perceived ‘value’. There is a woman who has come into my life, unforeseen after my divorce from a 14 year long marriage, who has been very concerned about different aspects about herself, including her age. I believe it is hard for her to accept that my attraction to her is from her confidence, open-mindedness, and achievement in her life. I have begun to send her your videos, thank you for your research, production, and sharing your clearly expert opinions. Keep up the good work, and any ladies running across this comment in the future....this video is dead on accurate. I have known both men and women who’ve exhibited most of the character traits mentioned, and it is just toxic. The moment I feel my energy being parasitically withdrawn from me, having lived with it a great deal of my life, I head for the hills. There are great people who can encourage you to become the best “you” you can be, the woman I met almost 6 months ago and have begun to grow fond of has allowed me to continue to encourage her, as well as she is doing for me. That all was lacking in my past, so take heart, and be open to the opportunities life can bring to you when you begin to value yourself!
@martham.chmielowiec7456
@martham.chmielowiec7456 7 жыл бұрын
Good points, but let's not generalise :) It seems like your female friend fell a prey to a malignant narcissist. Not all low-esteemed men are narcs! That would make 25% of the society :D Thank all Gods it's not so!
@Luisguard87
@Luisguard87 7 жыл бұрын
Having low self esteem takes its toll. I have isolated myself in order not to hurt anyone I'm suppose to care about. But now I'm 29 with three sisters, I'm the second oldest. My son is 15 months and my parents have passed away at age 34 (mom) and age 50 my dad 2014. This life of isolation and imaginary barriers doesn't apply to the real world. I started secretly believing that I was better then just about everyone. And if you were better then me, it didn't matter to me because I had more under my sleeve. Even if it was something you were good at. Back to the school.........years I would get girls that I liked to like me and then just turn into this messed up person that didn't deserve to live. As time went one I started to realize my impact on other but I couldn't seem to change the way I thought . I grew up actually hating who I am becoming. Now that I have everything I could ever need including countless personal I pads, tool, Rambo countless crap and count less distracting hobbies doesn't matter, in the end I always come back and in up with my low self esteem . Almost like if were instinct. EVERYTHING is about me TOO me. But am very hypocritical, I preach good ( being humble, humility, compassion, self accountability. I feel fortunate for being able to try to come to a better understanding of myself but I'm just very lost on how to let go without forgetting who I am and I got to the supposed humble isolated person I have force my self to become. Please help
@echo8931
@echo8931 7 жыл бұрын
USF4 : after reading your text I think you've come to realization that material things dont fulfill us. Gaining self-esteem is simplistic but it's so simplistic that people overlook the key to solving the dilemma. We cannot find happiness outside of ourselves. The key to solving the problem is your own mind. Yes your mind your thoughts run negative programs then you become less than what God intended you to be. It's so simple to change your mindset but you must fo it several times a day when ever you're mine starts running negative programming. For example Like telling you you're not good enough. Programs like "Remember when so-and-so said so and so it hurt you so bad." Etc etc. etc etc etc that's a negative program that runs in your brain. Stop it by telling your mind thats not so or think about something you love ; example ( a waterfall) or a (fun time you had).throw that negative program out. Negative Scripts are what cause low self esteem. have affirmations on Post-it notes all over your house your window your refrigerator dashboard of your car. Put them in your iPhone under reminders so every day they pop up. And affirmation that can be like "I am wonderful" or "I am loving to myself and to others" or I wake up happy refreshed and alert. Whatever's positive about yourself if you took a piece of paper and wrote down all the things about yourself that are positive at first you won't find many but then after thinking about it daily and coming back to it you can add things like simple things like I am grateful for the gift of smell! Because in the morning the smell of coffee makes me happy. There's so many things positive that you can say about yourself. Everything starts in your mind and by healing your mind you will learn to love yourself and gain self esteem. Try it stick with it don't give up you can change your life once you realize your mind is the key. Some people even say it's the devils playground because if the mind thoughts are negative then who is really in control. I hope this helps
@prettyontheinsiderose3216
@prettyontheinsiderose3216 6 жыл бұрын
USF4 thank you for being so honest. & Donna thank you for your reply. I needed to hear this so bad...
@marthafernandez9605
@marthafernandez9605 8 жыл бұрын
You are heaven sent!!! Lately I'm confused and can't understand why my husband doesn't appreciate what I do or he's abusive mentally,emotionally,puts me down!!!Omg he is exactly all you mentioned you're a genius!!!he dispises beautiful women like Jlo Salma Hayek just gorgeous women and successful also,your awesome and incredibly accurate I wish I can speak to you I'm so confused I feel I need help!! 🙂Thank You do you see Patients?
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 8 жыл бұрын
+Martha Fernandez you're very welcome :) hope you find more insights with us :) We definitely have more videos like this on our website commitmenttriggers.com and thefemininewoman.com, you might wanna check that out. :)
@paulbarnes9490
@paulbarnes9490 6 жыл бұрын
Martha Fernandez The video was nonsense.
@kkkkk695
@kkkkk695 5 жыл бұрын
Paul Barnes are you the low self steem men he talks about
@paulbarnes9490
@paulbarnes9490 5 жыл бұрын
@@kkkkk695 Yes I have low self esteem but I'm nothing like the person he described.I respect other people and i definitely don't put other people down and if anything I try and make other people feel good about themselves.I like to help people by making them see the value in themselves and I'm happy for them when they overcome challenges in their life.I just wouldn't want anyone to feel like I do because having low self esteem absolutely sucks.The person he is discribing is a narcissist which I can relate to. My mum is a narcissist who would constantly tell me I'm ugly and how I was a mistake when I was born. She'd constantly put me down with her nasty comments and would physically abuse me.Nothing I ever do is good enough for her which makes me feel inadequate.I thought parents are supposed to build you up with encouragement and love not mine that's for sure.Thank's to her I'm a messed up person who can't form relationships with women because i now fear women.Also because my self esteem is basically destroyed i never feel good enough just to even have friends.I feel really lonely at times and wish I could just escape my prison that is low self esteem so I can finally live a happy life.
@RobinZipporah
@RobinZipporah 5 жыл бұрын
@@CommitmentTriggersDShen Thanx to you. I'm 65, gorgeous 💓 & still hopeful; just don't know where are the real men.
@zuzana7068
@zuzana7068 8 жыл бұрын
The music disturbs me a bit... :( anyway, great video
@pjeanettejones-navarro667
@pjeanettejones-navarro667 7 жыл бұрын
Zuzana, Me too kinda!
@kimvannote5024
@kimvannote5024 6 жыл бұрын
Yes, the music isn't necessary
@mchris65
@mchris65 6 жыл бұрын
i didn't notice it til i read your comment ha
@MyronsBaldspotLovesKevSamuels
@MyronsBaldspotLovesKevSamuels 6 жыл бұрын
Zuzana it’s infomercial music.
@misscreativecontrol
@misscreativecontrol 6 жыл бұрын
Yeah it’s distracting.
@kristinatrujillo2309
@kristinatrujillo2309 8 жыл бұрын
Great and valuable info. Thanks for sharing.
@stainlessstove4629
@stainlessstove4629 3 жыл бұрын
I work full time, workout everyday. My low self esteem comes from being bullied as a child which then I know evolved into anxiety and depression. Give people a chance and most people will treat you well. This low self esteem is bs. Most people with low self esteem are good people. Most people with low self esteem need someone to help raise them up. Most low esteem men wont hurt you. At least I dont think so. People don't judge women with trauma but all these comments judging men because of low self esteem maybe because of trauma. Judge everyone individually and give everyone a change. Most people arent assholes.
@leahc8347
@leahc8347 4 жыл бұрын
Went out with such a guy 😥. Its such a shame I loved him so much. He made me feel special, then he started putting me down...* He dumped me when I questioned his emotional disconnect... ended up ripping up my self esteem :'/ left with nearly zero self esteem and self worth. I dont know how I can love or trust anyone again.. Tbh it sounds like narcissistic personality disorder, this type of behaviour, no? Also he made me feel basically like I was all the blame.
@leahc8347
@leahc8347 3 жыл бұрын
@@p_tiffanii Thank you for your reply you are absolutely right, but I guess Im partly still 'trauma bonded' and grappling with the 'cognitive dissonance'. And eventhough Im slowly realising that, its hard to except ... I guess the lovebombing phase seemed so real I decided to invest and fall in love fully, when all along I was being played like a fool and ment nothing... I guess because I dont go around deliberatly breaking people and contolling people for fun, I guess I didnt want to see or believe it in others.. especially ones lover .. not that I havnt been betrayed and abandoned by my closest people before, but this was different, and shocking in the end the person who made out to 'want to help you' wants to deliberatly brake you, cuz he got slighted by me questioning if we have a connection etc ( like why else would he be spending so much time texting everyday meeting weekly, if he at least didnt have a connection, let alone even hear the words I like or I love you and if Im not pushing him to even say that but, the fact that hes getting cold sholder held in cold anger and moody etc around you, you can only assume you said or did something wrong, so y'wanna know?...) but his general answers if I got any at the best of times were confusing, and mixed messages, but apparently these type of personality types that is their normal way of thinking, being able to drop anyone cold terkey and expect them to be happy for them etc ... but framing me as I was the fault and 'broken' making feel so small... and playing into my softness saying suddenly he has a 'fear of commitment' 'love is free' cuz he was hiding the fact yet hinting that he was seeing someone else while he was with me but apparntly it seems he did nothing wrong, and I had to be squashed and punished for gently asking the questions while picking up the obvious, ... but he knew where to go to knock below the knees at the sudden mask drop, when I had enough decency and humanity even when he did, to bring up in such a way to crush and devalue and brea someone that way out of seer egoism... yet its weird the person I would of gone to the ends of the earth for, has no concious for what he did, nor on a drop of a hat doesnt care if Im alive even. It just mind boggling.
@SthrnCrossLady
@SthrnCrossLady 6 жыл бұрын
Oh this is superb!!! He kept asking me why I was so happy whenever we talked...!! I said I love being with you!! (that was as if ..oh well we had better stop this- make her miserable /punish her for being so happy and radiating such love)Consequently -I have been discarded because i called him out on his passive emotional abuse; He is truly a very sad individual.. (I still love him..foolish me) thanks for this wonderfully informative video!!
@dylanleeman1841
@dylanleeman1841 Жыл бұрын
Wow great idea to start a channel like this must be really good for the ol' self esteem, I think I could be good at it cause I love online affirmation. I've found critiquing others gets me feeling and seen as high value without having to put my partner down so its a win for both of us. Plus I feel assured in myself when women take me on as their mentor. Talk about a dream job... Can you do a video covering self awareness and projection please. edit Also the way you managed flip a story about a friend sharing a slapstick video with you into proof why he's a failure to benefit your own image... Phenomenally prodigious! Truly!!! The mammoth balls on you, considering some of the topics you chose for this video.
@mariamistretta3860
@mariamistretta3860 5 жыл бұрын
i been through this by my ex. i don't tolerate this behavior. it a good reason why i left this unhealthy relationship. i know it takes time, but if he really want to he can work on himself and do self improvements to make himself feel better, he has to help himself if he become a more get confidence man and become a better version of himself. So in reality his afraid of being alone wow.
@liveloveliftgame4274
@liveloveliftgame4274 7 жыл бұрын
Excellent video!
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 7 жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@natashajmceachin
@natashajmceachin 3 жыл бұрын
My father does every one of these things to me and any woman who’ll allow it. I’ve let him take advantage of me financially and behave sexually inappropriately since I’ve met him, and I didn’t know his behavior was wrong. I’m now trying to pick up the pieces and learn normal male behavior v.s. poor male behavior, and this helped me. I thought he (and men like him that I’ve dated) were constantly telling me bad things about myself because they were trying to help me. When this behavior is all you know of men, it’s nearly impossible to recognize abusive behavior.
@dama_shares
@dama_shares 8 жыл бұрын
Great video. Insightful and nicely presented.
@Cosmickittyyy
@Cosmickittyyy 5 жыл бұрын
This!! My ex to a T. He was extremely critical of me and would even try to make me change if he thought I looked better then him when we went out.
@nancymc
@nancymc 5 жыл бұрын
How knowledgeable you ate. Learn so much from you♥️
@monifas6760
@monifas6760 8 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your post.
@Hypocricy_rules_supreme
@Hypocricy_rules_supreme 4 жыл бұрын
My ex: stop wearing makeup and stick to baggy sweatpants. You don't need 2 engineering degrees. Stop working out, you are drawing too much attention. Why did he talk to you, do you know him? Me: Ok aight..... 🎼🎶 All my single ladies🎶🎵
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 4 жыл бұрын
Exactly.
@trainkeenpilates5227
@trainkeenpilates5227 7 жыл бұрын
Really enjoying your videos. I've been learning so much. Thanks you!
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 7 жыл бұрын
Thanks a keene! Good to know you found valuable insights :) you can check our sites for more of these :)
@ranica4956
@ranica4956 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much Please keep doing what you're doing I just found this video and your channel 🙏🏻
@princessvictoria3540
@princessvictoria3540 5 жыл бұрын
#5 is so true, I just walked away from a relationship with a man who I felt was resentful and jealous of me. He told me I was vain, lol, just because I dressed well and had a cheerful attitude. I always had to tell him how Good looking he was, blah blah blah. He did love putting me down, then when I call him out, he'd say he was joking, lies. His insults came out to easily. I was feeling to drained by our relationship. I had to leave
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 5 жыл бұрын
Sorry to hear you had to go through that, and good to know you are out of that situation!
@dishlaydie8191
@dishlaydie8191 7 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the enlightening post! What if your ex keeps reaching out just to send abusive/critical messages (or telling people negative things about me that aren't true)? We were married for years and still run in the same professional circles, so it's very damaging when he does this.
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 7 жыл бұрын
Sorry to hear about your ex. A lot of the time in a relationship, one will always push for more, more and more. And they will keep pushing unless you set boundaries or rules. Rules and boundaries are not bad things, they're quite helpful.
@irses457
@irses457 4 жыл бұрын
Block and delete girl. You know how to do it. Find new professional circles. Good reddens to bad rubbish. The future is waiting for you leave the past behind.
@dishlaydie8191
@dishlaydie8191 4 жыл бұрын
@@irses457 I can't abandon my professional circle... It's very "Ike and Tina". I worked hard to build it. Blocking him doesn't solve the problem. (He IS bad rubbish, though, lol.)
@beautyforashestv5959
@beautyforashestv5959 5 жыл бұрын
I really enjoyed this video. It explained a lot
@ellie4103
@ellie4103 5 жыл бұрын
I love this guy he is so right. I‘m wayching these videos for my daughters.
@CommitmentTriggersDShen
@CommitmentTriggersDShen 5 жыл бұрын
You might want to also check out videos from our other youtube channel, the feminine woman :)
@Edith-wn4hp
@Edith-wn4hp 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this 🙏🏻💙
@mechfalafel
@mechfalafel 7 жыл бұрын
I am this ''low self 'esteem man'' that you mention here,but i don't trap or deceive anyone,I always have this ''angry front''as if i am not interested or irritated by high status social circle,i feel this at my workplace,cafes,bars or anywhere social,I feel isolated and disconnected from this playful male and female group dynamics,IT feels like i am this hideous awkward thing that is below everyone else,for this reason i never approached any women that i liked because i thought about how i can be part of her world and fit in,and i never can fit into her world in my mind,and how awkward i would make life for her,i try to avoid these high status social circles as much as possible everywhere i go,but sometimes cant avoid it in a professional world being at a group seminars or workshop at office and seeing it play out in front of me,seeing how the high status males make women laugh and how the women just treat me like a non sexual entity or ghost in the room,they just pass me to the next person as if i am not there,Its a dehumanizing feeling,I have never had a relationship because i just don't know how to let someone else into my life when i cant even carry my self and be confident in my own skin,but i have never tried to hurt anyone feelings,And i don't know why i feel like i am undeserving of someones love and affection.but i have felt this all of my life. I know your video is geared towards women,and i appreciated your video because it had a lot of truth in it,but its also misleading it makes us all look like these bad in denial ignorant men who want to bring women down with us.
@echo8931
@echo8931 7 жыл бұрын
Mech Falafel : knowing who you think you are is 70 percent of the battle. Now that you admit and voice or realize who you think you are now you can change. Tell yourself every day that you are important you are handsome learn to love yourself by loving you every day eventually you will exude confidence. First you have to be honest that's the catalyst for change. You have done that successfully. Try getting into a group maybe even a self help group of men. Read books maybe even get a psychologist's help. Somewhere in your childhood there was a problem with your family dynamics. I am not a professional I read enough to be a self taught. You can find a counselor's help on a sliding scale in most cities. There are a lot of motivational speakers in the meantime listen to many motivational speakers here on KZfaq. Also finding a church is another great source of inspiration. Whatever you do don't give up you are as worthy as anyone else . Use affirmations put them on your phone as a daily reminder. When you start thinking that other people are better than you visualize that person sitting on a toilet taking a crap and realize they are no better than you. Love yourself love yourself and tell yourself you are the best with constant input the negative will slowly disappear and will be replaced by positiveness. This is a universal law. Always remember no one is better than you when you believe that magically you will become valuable to yourself and others will find value in you. Read the book by Florence Schovil Shin " The game of life" I believe that's the correct spelling of her name. Change your mindset and you can perform Magic. The magic is learning to love yourself.
@queenpearl1896
@queenpearl1896 7 жыл бұрын
Lol
@margueritehernandez9014
@margueritehernandez9014 7 жыл бұрын
I feel for you and appreciate your vulnerability and your willingness to express it. You are sensitive and intelligent and deserve to have your dreams come true. Envision a compelling future. Meditate on that future every day. Then take the steps,, at least one every day, to make it happen. In my view, your problem is a simple fear of rejection. The way to get over being afraid of rejection is to experience it on a regular basis. Milton Erickson, a great therapist, recommended for men like you a simple strategy of committing to experiencing 3 rejections daily. Go someplace where there are many women, such as a Starbucks or a department store. Stand by an escalator or a doorway so that women who are passing by have no way to avoid you. Ask each woman who passes by if they would like to have a cup of tea/coffee with you. Once you have had 3 rejections you can quit for the day. You may be surprised to find someone very special in this way!
@MyronsBaldspotLovesKevSamuels
@MyronsBaldspotLovesKevSamuels 6 жыл бұрын
Bryan M despite what porn and media conditions society to believe, the reality is that most women don’t value large penises. In fact, the average woman can’t take larger than 5 inches without being in pain. Especially petite (any race) and Asian women. Nerdy women also typically value the mind more than penis. Hang in there.
@pattizielinski4690
@pattizielinski4690 6 жыл бұрын
Great video. I think every woman has been involved with a low value man at some point in her life. It's great to see you put it into a bullet point understanding to create more awareness around it. If a man's soul is good, how do you feel about questioning him on it...like why would you say that to me? Is this a way to bring him up and create an awareness for him he is hurting his girl? or just discuss things outright.
@mariaradeva668
@mariaradeva668 5 жыл бұрын
🤗thank you so much! He has 5 from 5 points you are talking about . At last I have discovered after 2 years of torture 😖 I have been looking for the answer since then . Thank you 😚😚
@jeanhannon6027
@jeanhannon6027 5 жыл бұрын
Such a good video! 😊❤️
@kyliejones8890
@kyliejones8890 5 жыл бұрын
Thank u for articulating this...its been hard to analyse y things went wrong in relationship but those points make sense...
@Brumbasse22
@Brumbasse22 3 жыл бұрын
All of this is spot on my ex boyfriend, an engagement manager at McKinsey - and STILL had the need to do this shit.
@k.l.8804
@k.l.8804 5 жыл бұрын
I spent 14 years with a man like this...(ticked all the boxes except sexual coersion, or rather he withheld sex,s o perhaps that ticked as well .i mean witholding sex is another way to make the woman feel undesirable..). Everybody kept saying I was a 10 and he 4-5... Divorced him this spring. Yea, he drew my self esteem to zero... Question is how to recover from this...
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