*Think you may have had a relationship with a narcissist?* Download the FREE checklist to see how your experience stacks up to the phases of narcissistic abuse: www.commonego.com/checklist

The easiest way to tell is look at their past behavior . Patterns don't lie . Notice the constant jealousy . Passive aggressiveness . Holier than though attitude . Extremely sensitive to criticism . No regard for your boundaries . Want's to really know all about you way too fast . Not friendly but deeply personal things . Run far away and don't look back .

Another lovebombing tactic I have heard (and experienced): apparent altruism. Covert narcissists may appear to go above and beyond in offering to help you, but when you don't accept their help, you'll get shamed. This is what my covert narcissistic father does and it sucks!!

“You used to be my soulmate” … In one week I went from her soulmate to absolutely NOTHING 🙄

He love bombed me by putting me on a serious pedestal. Called me his "gorgeous goddess." Always told me how beautiful, fit, sexy, smart, hilarious etc i was. Told me within a month that he 'loved me so hard." He would look at me with puppy dog eyes. He was (seemed) entranced with me. Walked thru fire for me. Moved mountains for me. Invested in me so much. He was Gaa gaa and made me feel so loved. It's amazing it was fake.

I literally cringed at some of the shit he told me. I ignored my gut feeling. And im still paying for it. I had no idea this kind of person existed, grateful for your videos tbh. Thank you so much

Narcs are great charmers. You feel as if your prince has arrived. However, as time progresses you realize you're on a magic carpet ride to hell.

My ex started out telling me I'm so smart only to later hold contempt and call me an idiot and stupid.

😂The funny thing is that we as ladies feel right in the beginning that's something is wrong...too good to be true..but we are swept off our feet by the attention and sweet words . At least that's what happened to me but all along I knew and felt this was too good to be true .. Loving me in the first weeks after meeting?...But i broke it up and the communication went from 100 to 0. I missed the attention but I knew I had done the right thing .Choose yourself ladies and always follow your gut😊.

One thing I kept asking myself is what the hell just happened

Love bombing is what made me feel like it was true love. Over 20 years of love bombing, rejection, recycle repeat. As messed up as it sounds, the connection and passion during the love bonding states was intense.

6. They always agree with you. A genuine person has their own opinions and interests, whereas a fake person doesn't - and will say or do anything, just to make others think they are like them. Be wary of that. Covert narcs remind me of T1000 from the Terminator 2 movie. They seem to literally morph into whatever you are - and if you're inexperienced in dealing with narcs - it's highly likely you'll fall for it because you'll be fooled into thinking you have some sort of special, magical connection with them. In reality you don't. They are simply grooming you.

I thought I was a narcissist because I hyperfixated on a girlfriend and wanted to spend all my free time with her and stopped hanging out with my friends for like a month, on top of lovebombing her (her words). After she dumped me I had myself convinced there was something really wrong with me or that I scared her off because she thought I was a narc and that she was thinking that if the relationship I was just going to devalue and abuse her like narcs eventually do. I'm diagnosed with ADHD and OCD and I later found out the hyperfixation, overwhelming emotions, and love-bombing are really common with these conditions. I really fucked things up with her because she made me so happy and all I could think was "I need to make this person as happy as she makes me feel!" and just ended up throwing so many red flags...

One thing I've noticed: Narcs have a past with no people in them. Restated, the people in their past are objects, caricatures of real personalities, comic book villains. By mid-life, they will have been divorced -- perhaps twice -- or more. Under no tellings does it ever come out that THEY had tics/faults/foibles that erupted into the Big Split. Instead, it's the Big Drama that can't be explained. And there will be other no-go zones, aplenty. What they will want to divulge was how fine they were -- and must still be. However, if you wait for it, you'll come to find that they just burn-through 'friends.' They just don't have deep long term relationships. You can think of them as a frantic, sinking swimmer that keeps drowning any responding lifeguard. They will also reveal that they have their own morality -- which they follow -- and there's a morality for the rest of humanity. Bending the truth into a pretzel is fine for them -- but all others must be fulsomely honest. Spreading lies and gossip is fine for them -- but you had better not ever do that against them. And so forth.

My covert narc love bombed me with flattery and attention. I really thought he was the most loving and caring man ever. It has taken me a long time to understand and believe I was the pray of a narcissistic person. That's how good he was at faking care and empathy. Or maybe he genuinely felt it in the moment, I still don't know. The love bombing lasted 1.5 years and I was shocked when the devaluation began. Luckily I found out quickly he was a narcissist and discarded him. Thank you so much for these videos, they are a life saver and helped me stay no contact for 4 months now.

He told me stories about how others mistreated him: an ex stole his money and never returned, another ex ghosted him which led him to suicide committing, an evil boss stole his money and he got cheated by the law…during our time together, he’d always get angry at random ppl around and saw them as his enemy who always tried to disregard him or scan him. He relied on me a lot with simple stuff: when he couldn’t speak the local language, he expected me to do everything for him, when he could obviously just use the translation app. When one time I finally snapped-I had my own stuff going on and I called helping him ‘a waste of time’, he went to extreme rage and punished me. But what I found later was he did the exact same thing. Though I was the one who always ended up apologizing. At the beginning, he said a lot of sweet things to make it look like we were destined for each other, comfort me every time when I had mental breakdowns (ofc, triggered by him). And in the end, he told me he regretted doing all of them: bc they’re all due to my overthinking. If I don’t overthink, he wouldn’t need to comfort me and would have more time for sleep. WOW. I’m grateful it’s over.

The way my CN made me her new best friend was by mirroring me. Hadn’t jogged in years- now she’s jogging. Hadn’t hiked- now she’s hiking. Didn’t like microbeer- you guessed it, at the brewery with me. In the beginning, it was pleasant to have someone so “open minded” and “enjoyed my company.” But realized later, she was simply a doppelgänger.

Every single one of these was used on me! I’ll point out it doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship for this to happen. Friendships are also treated this way by a covert narcissist.

It can all neatly be summed up by something like : "Woe is me. Look what everyone in my life did to me". The fact that they truly believe that makes you want to rescue them from the big bad world or at least provide a safe corner for them while they work on figuring out how to blane you for everything to the next rescuer. Oh. The healing is painful and messy. I still miss him until I ask myself do I miss the horrible parts too. I guess its too much to expect it to all be better 3 months on after 7 years and countless discards. Thank you so much for another "nodding" video. They have been so helpful in crisis moments. Much love to you.

This was honestly scary how accurate this was. It was almost like you were right there sitting next to the person when he told me all the BS. Basically, word-for-word accurate of the type of person he was.

YES! My husband acts different around different people. When we met he did not even know if he had a favorite color!? I did think he was a nice guy...but I quickly learned he was good at pouting when he did not get what he wanted. It has taken me years to discover narcissism. PLEASE WARN OTHERS about narcissism when you understand how it works!!! If they refuse to change then you have to leave!

Great video. This is a more layered and nuanced look at the covert narc. Mine seemed confident, humble and conservative at first glance. But when the mask slipped there was a much darker thing lurking. A promiscuous, competitive cold and calculating being. She'd reveal herself especially after a few drinks. When I look back at it now it's very apparent, but while in it I smoothed over the rough stuff to keep the illusion alive. They have the impulses and emotions of a child and the destructive drive of the devil. What a combo!

I mean…. Wow. Everything checked off this list and I realize now, that I was dating a covert narcissist. Literally everything. Even down to him cheating on me with her (overlap) and him cheating on her with me. The first 3 months with my ex were a whirlwind and we already started talking about moving to a new city together. After a year, of what I thought was bliss, he broke up with me out of nowhere. In the beginning, he would talk about all his ambitions and goals, I thought I had hit the jackpot. Charming, kind, ambitious. But as he was older, I was caught thinking, “why aren’t you as successful as you should be?” The fault was everyone else, but this next project was going to be his next best thing. He would say how lucky he was to be with someone who had everything together and how he was a bit jealous of me for being successful. But that together, we could do great things. We were not just partners in love and life, but that we were also best friends. When he broke up with me, he would say, I still love you, you’re my best friend, you’re my family, but I just can’t give you the security that you need. All of this knowing that he already had a girlfriend who agreed to move with him. I see that he’s doing the exact same thing to her that he did to me. I’m glad that he me a favor by leaving or I would’ve uprooted my life and found out about his narcissistic ways while in a new city. After we broke up, I started to ask around our mutual friends about him before we dated and I recognize that none of them were actually real true friends. They were acquaintances for years and one of them knew anything about him. I was essentially dating a stranger. I think back of all the signs I missed because in the moment, it’s so addicting. And you keep reaching for that same feeling you received in the beginning, but it’s unobtainable. Then you attach yourself to the potential and it’s so dangerous To your mental health. But healing from this type of relationship, isn’t the easiest. I empathize with anyone going through it. I wish I had had the strength to leave myself, but I get not wanting to. I also get going back for one last hit. Because he seemed to have love bombed me at the very end and ALMOST had me stuck again. Letting go and moving on isn’t easy, but you will survive. And hopefully, if I ever come across a narcissist again, I see it earlier and dump his ass.

Yes, my ex narc was covert and trauma bonded me. We talked for almost 2 years until he swiftly discarded me for new supply. Its a horrible place to be in...

Mine was an avoidant covert narc so his love bombs seemed extremely genuine. Didn't move too fast at all and I'm assuming because he already was seeing someone when I entered the picture. I'm a single mom with two boys and he was really, really good with them at first. He helped around my house and always paid for at least half of everything. I never suspected in a million years he was a narc. He love bombed by saying "let me show them how a decent man is supposed to behave" when I talked about how badly my kid's dad sucks. He would future fake so subtly by sending me pics of old victorian houses which i love and made legit plans to move across country with me and my boys to start a new life. Then he started treating my kids like shit and sabotaged Christmas after I told him how important it was to me. I believe he was trying to get me to break up with him because he for sure had someone on the side and was just too coward to end it. I realized he only told me he loved me to sleep with me and that the whole relationship was completely fake. I was about to marry him. Thank God I discovered the truth. My heart is a little broken still nonetheless.

I couldn't believe when you said that he you feel like the covert narc is a diamond in the rough! It's exactly what I felt, and I told my closest friend that when she questioned me about why I was dating him. Smh.

What about they tell you how amazing you are very early in the relationship! You are everything they wanted but had given up on finding, you are more caring/understanding/supportive/loving than any of their previous partners. How you understand them in a way that no one ever has before.

Every day I become stronger with your knowledgeable videos. Grazi!👍

I experienced practically everything you mention here.The first red flags showed up when parts of their behaviour became a bit off key and inconsistent with the persona they displayed in the early stages of the relationship. I caught them out almost by accident. After being particularly emotionally abusive toward me I noticed a very childish smirk come across their face when I tried to reason with them. The next time they called round I went completely silent on them, and just shook my head. The narcissist went into an instant rage and literally ran off. Since then the narcissist has brought their ex into play, passing by my apartment etc. I laugh at how childishly this is especially as I know that the ex is just being further manipulated. I hope this helps somebody..have a fantastic day 😊

I was promised a trip to Hawaii early in the relationship with my narc...after years of abuse, I brought up the promised trip. He said " I think you have been to plenty of other places. False campaign promise..also was asked to wear a diamond ring in the bombing stage as a " symbol of his commitment to our relationship " it was actually a way of possessing and controlling me showing everyone I was taken

I was the unsuspecting victim. I felt something is not right here and it took a long time to see it. I remember mentioning to him that he seemed like he was always the victim in every thing he told me. He did not like that He got angry and tried to justify it all. I eventually discarded him but it took me once going back to get He was crazy and the way he viewed life was warped. I did not deserve that treatment at all. then I went no contact. Then someone mentioned narcissism to me I started watching your videos and only then did I understand who I had been dealing with.He eventually sent me a scathing 6 page letter and of course. he was the victim. I laughed deleted it and blocked him from emails as well. thanks for all your great information.

their mindset = give as many presents/praises for the one they wanna approach, until their defense goes down

I just experience this in 6 weeks. Love bombing me the first three weeks hard core. Consistently telling me she was falling in love with me and was waiting for a guy like me. She stayed with me 11 out of 14 days. In week Two she talked about wanting to marry me and move in. Week 4 and 5 she started to fade a little but still telling me she loves me. I called her out and she got very defensive. Week 6 she started flipping the script and telling me she didn't want a smothering a relationship. Was made I didn't share us on Facebook and gave that as part of a reason to end us. Did I dodge a bullet or what. I felt towards the end she was a passive or covert. In my past few years back I was entangled with a full aggressive Narcissistic woman and when it came to calling them out, they both acted the same way. Whatever you call them, they say the same thing back to you. I was like really not again. I really like this woman and it ended up to be another trap. Not to mention her previous relationship involved swinging which breaks all moral codes. Writing was on the wall But maybe that's were Narcissistic people belong, somewhere with limited boundaries. Anyway this sucks the way I feel. Good video and thank you

I was told i love you and that i am handsome too much and was expected to say it back just as much. I had expressed boundaries around alcohol but felt like i was being ridiculous. It has limited my social engagement too so not fully on her. I did need to reassure myself why i have those boundaries. Alcohol has been a major component of trauma for me. I became her dad more than a boyfriend.. A Freudian slip of being called an "on call bitch" should of been my wake up call but the trauma bond and/or limerence had a strong hold on me. The Lesson is to say no and trust my intuition more often.

You hit EVERY nail on the head with my ex narc. This describes him and our love-bombing stage to the TEE. I find comfort in knowing that I'm not alone, that I'm not the only victim/target out there and that WE'RE not the crazy ones! The narcissists are the crazy, sick, awful, horrible "humans".... not us empaths!! I've been watching your videos/channel and several others since September of last year, shortly after I was discarded (before I even realized what had happened or who he was) and stumbled across a "suggested" video from somewhere about 'is your ex a narcissist?' (or something to that effect) and fell down the rabbit hole, lol. But I'm so glad I did because I have educated myself thanks to people like you!! I will never let myself fall into this trap again and encourage anyone (ESPECIALLY empaths) to keep watching your videos, other channels, read books, etc. - get your hands on EVERYTHING you can to educate yourself about these toxic, horrible people so that you can protect yourself and find the happiness you truly deserve!! 💜🙏🙌 Thank you and please keep sharing videos about covert narcissism so that we can all learn, heal and expose this awful disease out there.

I saw an interesting interview with a therapist who met with psychopaths in prison as part of a therapy program. She asked them how they found their targets of abuse, and they said that they'll tell people they meet about a fake problem they're having or a story where they're the victim, and if they find someone who's immediately overly helpful, they know they've found their mark. I don't know about you, but that's exactly how my ex hooked me in. What I didn't realize was, it didn't matter how many solutions I came up with, there were always new problems, and the world was always out to get him. It never ended.

It can be super overwhelming at the beginning. I remember receiving texts every hour " I miss you" "wish you were here". Over and over again. No substance to the conversation when I responded. She would stop communicating. Then an hr later "I miss you" 😂

In the beginning, I was impressed by how many "friends" my ex had. As time went on, I realized they could even barely be called acquaintances. One of his best "friends" had a heart attack at age 35 and my ex completely forgot about it a few months later

Spot on… I honestly believe I was dating a covert narcissist…. My soul was so disturbed being with him.

Spot on Christina. Your observations are great. Covert narcisists are the most dangerous.

You are such a blessing on KZfaq 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

This has so many points that had me nodding and agreeing with what you were saying. My ex on our first meeting shared so much about themselves that it should have been a huge sign that there was something amiss with this person, but I like to be a rescuer. I have learnt that about myself and think I won't fall for that again. Oh and every time they shared they said, when I've shared stuff in the past it gets weaponised against me. (Just to ensure i couldn't bring up anything they said.) She didn't do the last thing but all of the rest were spot on. 'Woe is me' was her over arching theme. But her thing was whenever I said almost anything she had to correct me to put in the adjective of her choice that 'fitted' better with what she was saying. For example if I said, so you were feeling hurt by their actions, she would say, no they traumatised me. And they said I yelled at them when I had never even raised my voice at them. At least when I challenged them on that, they took it back and changed it to spoke sternly. Once she decided that I started challenging her too much she then created false narratives around our relationship and shared and spread them. Complete untruths. I didn't dodge the bullet and got hit by it but fortunately the wound healed well. Great succinct video.

I’ve been with one! He was just like this.. never again!

Unfortunately I did not notice the red flags. It wasn't until I finally woke up and began healing with lisa romano life coaching that I now recognize the red flags. I was shocked at how little I was taught/ abused and how the abuse had residual effects throughout my life.

Goodness. You nailed it! This was my covert narky ex "always the victim" GF of 8.5yrs! She played on my empathy & drew me in with her "youre the ONE to save me"! She had absolutely zero friends. She used everyone! She was consuming. And when she finally discarded me by a text 6mos ago...she had already monkeybranched to some easy simp goon behind my back while alllllll the while accuse & project on ME of being a cheat! Im free now & hope ill not get the hoover! 🦅

In the beginning I broke up with her because something just didn't seem right. She was so over the top and incredibly jealous. I couldn't do anything without being accused of cheating. She was relentless at getting me back and eventually I gave in. Once my son was born, she got on this power trip and turned on me. Constantly threatening me with court. I got my son out of the ordeal so I wouldn't change anything but I wouldn't wish this personality type on my worst enemy. Before I moved out was the lowest point in my life but things get better and this knowledge is powerful.

They made themself out to be a lot like me, including some underestimating my social skills and success. Told me they didn't have many friends growing up, which turned out to be a lie. When they discovered I'd had close friends in the past, they exhibited jealousy and kinda lost interest. I think they thought they could be my best friend without it impinging upon their personal (away from work) time. They liked the idea of being kind to me, provided that wasn't inconvenient. I didn't realize at the time, but it wasn't even about me. They wanted to feel good about being kind to me, without making any effort at being kind.

I had no idea what my partner was doing. I just had a funny feeling, told my friends and they said “sounds like she’s love bombing you”. And I have fallen into a rabbit hole. And dude, most of this video is very familiar to me.

I can personally relate every single signs you discussed. Verbatim. 😮‍💨

Thank you for this. I got married in 2016 and didn't know what a narcissist was and had never even heard of lovebombing until recently. My wife seemed to have had a hard past but a heart of gold. I saw how she treated some others but she always treated me SO well. She bared her soul and I did, too. I thought we just fell in love and didn't realize I was being played. After the wedding the "love" became sporadic. She would treat me well and then like garbage in a cycle-I thought she just was really bad during her period and actually downloaded a menstrual cycle tracker to know when to back off and when it was safe. Eventually the "love" phases got shorter and shorter and I just sort of shut down and stopped trying. She left. After much reflection and research I see it now. I'm a little concerned that as an empath, I will fall for it again with the next narc that comes along. Videos like this help to see and recognize the red flags beforehand.

The "partners in crime" was the second date. She "didn't want to worry her mother", because we met through online dating. So, she wanted to say that we met through friends. I won't say I've never lied, but I don't lie, yet I went along with it. It wasn't an out and out lie, because her friends had sponsored her account, so it was technically true, but still outside my boundaries.

This was my existence with my ex-husband. I feel like you were reading a page out of my life. The whole “the world is against me”, that was his MO.

Hello Kristine, very good information, I happen to know of a Covert Narcissist, my ex, and she just got engaged. I feel sorry for the guy because I know he's headed for trouble. Sure she's all sweet now, but just like you've expressed her love bombing, the subtle type has him hooked. She doesn't brag so much, because she's very of her nature, but she doesn't mind missing any opportunity to take you, her partner down a few pegs, she is a chameleon exceptional at hiding who she is, but the mask will slip, the problem is, her fiance' is such a sucker he'll just look right past it. I worry sometimes, that I was the problem, that I let this really good woman get away, but then I just think about the details, once doing that, I'm back feeling lucky, I dodge that bullet.

What about constant compliments and "I love you" all the time? I can't take all the compliments all the time. It's sickening.

Smart creators are my kryptonite! Loved the brutal truthfulness.

TY for your great work!!

🙏🍀 Thank you! This everything happened in my relationship.

Greatttttt explanation and so true with the inner conflict where they resent what they want for themselves literally out loud 🤯

I literally just got through ALMOST dating a guy like this. It WAS love bombing on crack. Within two weeks i was getting i love you.....that i was his safe space...and that his father was my future father in law. I told him FRIENDS first to see if we had a connection to date. In that whole eight weeks we spoke he spoke to me hours a day calling me pet names and self deprecating himself and if i even called him out on anything i was being like his ex and put on silent because he "hurt" me. He literally would lie and i'd catch him send him proof acted like it was no big deal and then continued the disrespect. Finally i saw not only was he NOT relationship worthy after challenging my boundaries even sending me explicit material i didn't want and expected the same back BUT not even FRIEND worthy. I ended up blocking him after he thought i wanted him back and said my stories on Instagram were belittling to him so nope he needed space and to work on himself. Enter seven days later and he's in a relationship and in love. I wish that poor girl luck. It's because of resources like this i saw the red flags and signs to run for the hills. The covert narcissist is THE worst. You'll end up being their mom....walking on eggshells because of THEIR sensitivity and expected to feel sorry for them as they play victim for doing YOU dirty.

This describes, the mother of my two youngest children, to a tee. Started the relationship with before pretty much as soon as she'd finished the last (so she says) and started another before I'd moved out. Nearly drove me to suicide. I would get love letters and presents, then a period of silence or she would put me down, before the niceness returned. Once we moved in together, that's when the proper control began. I suspect that me helping to find a house to live in, was part of her end goal. She still tries to control me, even though we don't live together.

These are all true and valid!!

Oh my god this is sooo perfectly accurate. She's like textbook. However... interestingly (at least to me), she now is emulating my personality and philosophy (I (despite her being appalled at the suggestion at the time) introduced her to the book "In the Flow of Life", and now it is basically her bible). She was always so negative and always victim of drama, but these days she really hasn't been (except regarding me). She is also in an RV, currently in beautiful Santa Cruz (which really is a huge step up from her past, and I'm sort of stuck 30min inland from her) and appears to really be living it up with her new friends she met through a gay mixer-which is dope)) I'm actually concerned for her friends because they are really good, way too giving. We are not completely severed yet but the last communication we had she suddenly told me I have a LOT of work to do on myself before it's safe to love me. Prior to her getting these friends she was "more in love with me than she's ever been with anyone". The rational part of me is like good riddance, but the hopeful naive part of me is wondering if it's possible she actually is changing. She really fed off of my insane positivity and constant flow state hard while we've been dating. Don't know what else to say - I'm not from here and she took all of my time when I was solid, but from all of the gaslighting I'm not as confident and dont know many people cuz prior to Santa Cruz we only had each other. It sucks, I keep having to fight thoughts of needing her, which is a crazy, dramatic role reversal. Trying to piece myself back together.

The pinpoint accuracy of this video has almost touched a nerve with me about who my ex really was.

Totally agree! i have had ALL of them...it is so unfortunate wanting to help your abuser...

His focus was on seducing me. He also kept complaining that I wanted too much control (read: he saw my boundaries as "control"). The moment I said that I needed a decent commitment (exclusivity) in order to move forward I received a long text explaining all my flaws. He felt the need to tell me I was super insecure, not interresting and not smart. Kinda funny, as everyone I know has told me i'm "too confident and self-sufficient", I have an IQ of over 140 and I hear at least once every few weeks from people how interresting I am and how much they enjoy my company. I also have a thriving consulting company. That was also kinda ironic: he felt that I needed "to make myself so much bigger than I am, and that was so exhausting", and I had only shared a fraction of my accomplishments and life. Good riddance. But It was a shock for sure.

I am curious if you struggle to find someone because you may always be looking for narcissistic traits in them? I think almost everyone has some sort of a red flag, so how do you know when to let the walls down with someone and allow yourself to be happy, or are you always on guard? I feel like if a person is always on the lookout for flaws in a person or afraid to be hurt again it would be hard to give 100% to a relationship?

My ex used to tell me morals don't exist. Crazy.

I honestly thought the ex narc skipped this phase but your post helped me see he did not. He was pretty slick and highly manipulative that I did not see it. It wasn’t anything over the top. But I did share what bothered me in the past and he went into high gear proving he was not like that. (Controlling) But later, he was massively controlling. So in my case he was well practiced. Highly knowledgeable about how it works. He mirrored me which I didn’t see until years later. So it wasn’t putting me on a pedestal or gift buying. It was more subtle. And he is the definition of subtle.

You have such a soothing voice. Can relate all the signs you mentioned.

All the signs were there it just took me too long to figure it out. But I finally did. Love bombing Triangulation Lies by omission Blame shifting Projection Fortunately, I woke up and I was the one that did the discard. Watching her flirt with my friend on the Fourth of July was the wake up.

I didn't notice until I went away for a week to help my grandmother early in our dating. He sent cards, letters, every single day, doused in cologne that I liked, and then borrowed a car to come and "surprise" me. He could NOT handle me being away for several days and out of contact. I was young, it seemed like "love" to me. For years he bragged to me about how when we met he was there to meet a different girl but liked me better. It was supposed to make me feel special but really he was just showing me how he feels about, and uses women. Disposable if "better" source appears.

"How are you? I'm worried about you. "

She got me by showing interest and acceptance. By saying she feels welcomed in 'my world'. Telling me there is something between us. Wanting to become part of my life. All that... But recently I noticed she used my vocabulary from times to times. Not as a reference to something I said.

I had a friend get pissed because I brought a dish to a Thanksgiving dinner party with her friends, I hadn't met yet, that they gave me compliments on. Her mashed taters were just as good, even better than my dish, but she had brought it before, and they didn't eat as much. I was devastated when she tried to take credit for it. She only told me to bring a dish not what to bring. She was letting me stay with her till I got on my feet after moving to help her sell her house, and even though she knew how grateful I was, she would make comments during the party, of how SHE was responsible for the dish since I used her kitchen and such, although I did buy the food. I couldn't win with her ever, whether I agreed or disagreed with her.

I convinced my boss to bring my narcissistic female friend into the team. Then after a while he wanted me to be the leader of the team but she talked about how bad I am so he changed his mind and hired someone new.

This is so well done! I thank you so much! 🙏

Yes it was quicksand. Great metaphor

All of them and many more!!!

My worst experience was with a covert Narcissist .

Crying was a love bombing tactic used on me, talking about trauma and being sad.

The most important part is the feel you need to rescue them.

I had never heard of love bombing - all I knew was that it would irritate me when the man I was seeing was so over the top with his compliments. I would think am I really that jaded or think I’m not deserving of love? Was I really that messed up by my divorce? I honestly prayed and asked God to show me why I felt this way. All of a sudden I saw a tiktok on love bombing. 😳😳😳 I’m not crazy or jaded. And I ran from that man quick and have never looked back!

The last time I spoke to my narc wife was over the phone while she was at rehab. I hung up thinking she sounded like a different person. That person she sounded like was me. It was actually creepy. 3 days later I found out she left the rehab with some dude she met. She discarded myself and our 8yr old daughter. I'm at a loss for words.

I'm getting divorced by one who is quite probably a vulnerable narcissist currently. I found my way out by making the only ultimatum i made in the six years we were together ata crucial time when she had a finacial fortune coming. I demanded that she treat me like a priority as I had treated her. Her response was that she was done. So much for wedding vows.

This is very helpful along with the couple other channels I've watched

I have a boss like that( Only understood it 3 weeks ago. It is mindblowing and scary...

Let me add cuddling. The only lovebombing he did.

Thank you.

When I met my ex he was married but “going to separate” yeah right! He would later use this against me that I deserved what I got for messing with a married man. During the love bombing I was a would be writer and he constantly told me how amazing my writing was and how I had a way with words yet never once asked to read a single thing I wrote. He was just saying it to say it.

Very accurate, exactly how it went down

What you missed is covert narcissist loves to compare his partners. He’d be praising the present love interest and in the same breath demean and devalue the ex or soon to be ex partner. They are timid, shy, self deprecating and will tell you a sob story of how everyone is against them. They will behave like that right from the start.

ALL of them.

Don't forget the quick "I love you" line 🤮. Like in a few weeks of only talking - not even being intimate yet!

I met a guy and dated for 2 years. I noticed some red flags about 1 year in. It took this long as I didn’t see him that much due to family and work obligations. Anyway the first sign was his silent treatment over a perceived wrong I had done to him. 2nd sign was was judgemental with everyone. He refused to talk to his ex as a human being and mother of his kids because she had the audacity to leave him. He had zero relationship with his own sister and brother-in-law. I could count his friends on one hand. Every social outing was with my friends. He spent Xmas day with my family because it was his ex’s turn with the kids and he had no one else. He was only happy if his needs were being served and if I wanted to talk about anything regarding our relationship he would shut down. When we split he was straight onto Tinder for a new supply

In the experience I had, they put you down, make you feel like your unworthy, copy everything that you’ve talked about to their new supply, getting married just months after your relationship ended w them, they don’t like criticism or advice, they try to inflate their ego w money and materialistic things, they pretend to care, they use the same storyline when first talking to you, they act concerned, they don’t take responsibility for their actions, everyone else is wrong except for them, they make it look like they are the ones that left when it’s the opposite and it’s always some excuse as to why. They keep women on the back burner to feed them when things aren’t working out w them and the current supply. They make you feel so special and that they really care and a little while later your not important anymore. They like mind games and they like to play ignoring games when they don’t get their way or if you’ve hurt their ego in some way. The one I dealt w is addicted to sex and when he doesn’t get that he drinks. I’ve noticed that he will get married a few months later to get even w me for rejecting him. They look at self help stuff to mask more of themselves to try to not be so noticeable. They like weaker women who are submissive to them to do what they want. The one I talked to was like an addiction but then took that away and things got very boring and can’t maintain the effort.

My life to the T

In the 80s narcissist was called two faced lovebombing a hypocrite

Yes I saw the first four signs. I don’t think there was the final one though about becoming an accomplice although perhaps on a very subtle level. He didn’t like my strong boundaries and I think saw when I wasn’t concerned either way about things as him getting his way whereas I didn’t care. He devalued dramatically when I stood up to him and this happened multiple times. Spot on about the project bf and being talented enough but everything got in the way. Very interesting as always, thanks x

Jesus is going to discard the narcissist to hell

Wow , spot on . He moved on while with me . He also jumped several times unto other women . Glad I'm gone.