INFJ here. Yes I have door slammed people many times and I don't feel bad about it one bit. The reason is simple - we put so much time and love into other people that if we sense it is not appreciated or if the relationship is unhealthy or even hurtful to us, we will simply say "no more" and move on with our lives. No need for a big drama just "live and let live" knowing this person is not a good fit for us. If the person who hurt us is genuinely sorry, fights to save the relationship and changes behaviours to give us the respect we deserve then we will be more than willing to forgive. However that takes work and growth and very few people are willing to actually better themselves and take ownership of their behaviour; therefore most often that door is closed, chapter of our lives completed and onwards to the future. I ask myself "is mywellbeing and life better for having this person in it?" If when all the pro's and cons are added up the answer is no: goodbye and good luck.

I just learned I am an INFJ, door slamming people. I did not know there is a label for this type of personality.

When I listened to this, I realized I had emotionally door slammed. I don't hate them, but I just go away mentally.

These are all exactly reasons I door slam people.. I just can't help it. I don't hate them, I just preseve my battery to keep me healthy inside. I am too heavy INFJ. Thank you for posting this. I feel there is someone out there understands my INFJ's "negative attitudes".

I could have written this exact comment. People do not understand how we are caring but once you hit our red line you are DONE!!

First time I doorslammed someone, I was 5 yo. My friend pushed me into a fountain in the middle of a park. I couldn't swim but the water didn't cover my head, it reached my neck,so I don't think I would drown. An adult pulled me out thankfully. My mother tried to convince me to forgive my friend. I couldn't, in part because I knew I would never do something like that myself. I was even resentful to my mom because she was asking me to forgive. Even now, at 47, I haven't forgiven her, lol

I still love a person i have door slammed. When I think of the praying, sleepless nights and anxiety i have experienced worrying about that person, giving them my ear and resources when they were in a bad place and needed a friend. They knew and still know i love them. But now that this person is riding high they have disrespected and dont give me the time of day it became perfectly clear, and I am done!

INFJ here... You are 100% correct. I had to door slam family members who were narcissistic, and now I just door slammed a guy, much to his shock. I give people ONE chance, and then I don't hesitate to erect a fortress around my heart... or at least push them out from my heart several rungs away. I know my worth, and I won't settle for subpar relationships. I'd rather be alone with my book... or music... my journal... my God... or a good movie.

It doesn't apply to me. It is not true that I could protect myself just by withdrawing. I could very easily hurt those people's feelings so badly that it would make them wish they never saw me again. The fact is that I choose not to because I would hate myself for behaving inhumanely.

The funny thing is that I do aware all close persons about this thing, they did not believe me and think I am over exaggerate. then It happens. I really thankful for these explanations about personalities. When I understand this, I started to do it gradually, so people do not hurt by me due to leaving them suddenly.

It's something that I see happening to me a lot, to door slam people...they really are too intrusive sometimes and try to manege how to live my life...and be arrogant too, so, even when giving them time to think what they stinky have done, they don't apologize, they make me do it and simply ask for it

It’s not door slam it is like they don’t exist or like I have nothing to do with them ..we don’t hate them nor love them we just remove them I have only done it once or twice and it hurts us more then them.

Watch this. #3 is the argument you had last night! He is lucky you did not slam the door.

ENFJ too - big time 💯💯even more so

Why is any of this specific to infj's. Why shouldn't people shut out those who are repeatedly selfish and disrespectful?

All seem to be true about me. The one item that doesn't seem to apply is that others will not respect my alone time. I can't think of anyone who is like that with me. Just recently I let a friend go. But it's not the first time. When I let him go the last time, he was all that I had for friends and family and he didn't want the friendship to end. A few weeks after I let him go, I got into some trouble (my car broke down) and I needed some help and support. I took him back but then I realized I didn't need him. After my car broke down, other things went wrong. I was told that the car will be tied up at the shop for three weeks (it still is at this time). Since then I have been ordering groceries online and it has not been going well. But whatever the problems I have, he always insinuates that it's my fault that it happened or I should have handled the problems differently. And then, just recently, I talked to him on the phone and he gave me a lot of "you should haves" kind of stuff. I hate it. DOOR SLAM on him!

I may be a INTP trying to learn more about my INFJ friend xD

Been there done that /INFJ

Ok

Agree with everything except that INFJ's doorslam most often. Actually INFJ's door slam the least and most rarely, specifically cus we forgive so may times. Other types door slam way sooner, more often and more easily. The only reason it stands out with this type is because there is no warning (due to avoiding conflict, and doing the door slam so late that they thought it will never happen).

So we do this to ourselves 😢

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