They say they hate drama… perhaps because, while they are the drama, they actually hate themselves.

Coverts are the type of people that complain about ALL THE RAIN in their in life... not knowing that they are the STORM.

When they Hate Drama, they are Warning you that they Don’t want you to Fight Back or Stand up for yourself.

Pay attention to how someone makes you FEEL, not what they say.

I realized after my cover narcissist revealed himself, every single dysfunctional thing he described his exes doing was exactly what he was probably doing to them the entire time.

Raised by a covert narcissist mother, finally went No contact a week ago. I am a 64 yr old woman who finally said enough, the guilt on my part is horrible but I finally have stood up for myself and said no more. My true work is just beginning. Stay strong out there and please don't waste anymore of your life on the manipulative tactics and pain.

“Focus on the lesson, not the pain”. Profound!

I dated one last summer for about 4-5 weeks. That was enough. Initially, she portrayed some positive qualities and admiration to me. I was flattered. The more time we had shared, the more inconsistencies appeared. I’ve worked as an ER Nurse for 16 years. I’ve met a lot of people who are manic/depressed/suicidal/homicidal/BPD and/or manipulative patients. I’ve never met anyone who acknowledges themselves as being narcissistic or accepting such a diagnosis. Narcissists do not hold themselves accountable. I noticed this person seemed to have burned a lot of bridges. She also like causing drama between couples e.g. a neighbor and his wife. Her friend and her ex husband; different coworkers against each other. She liked to gather information and asked strange questions. It seemed like it was all for control. The one I dated kept contradicting herself and would project an awful lot. I was told “I have to walk on eggshells when I’m around you.” I Reflected on that and thought it was odd. It wasn’t consistent with any of my other relationships romantic/platonic/professional. In contrast, I had to “walk on eggshells” with her. She had a Meltdown when I left an exit ramp with my high-beams on. It was such an odd, overreaction. I addressed this immediately and she went into a hysterical rage. She brought up all sorts of non-related sacrifices that she makes for others and how she’s not appreciated. She then listed off her accomplishments as if we were in a job interview. You can’t have a rational conversation with an irrational person.

I have discovered that two of the main red flags are that they do not apologize or say "thank you." Keep your own standards high for being kind, polite, considerate, and fair and you will easily know when you are experiencinging a narcissist.

Technicaly they dont lie, but when they tell you stuff, they intentionaly skip some pieces, thats how they twist the story.

The best way to counteract a manipulator is to be radically honest with everyone around them. Not passive aggressive, but don’t shy away from exposing the manipulator’s words and actions right out in the open. Be a mirror to their disorder and they will run.

Bad morals are bad morals. If you benefit from it, that’s no justification. And of course a liar is a liar.

Don’t dare get your life together while you have one in the picture. They will argue with you before important events to distract you away from accomplishing what you need to and handling what you need to. It’s very frustrating. And yes don’t call them out on anything. Lol be blind to their faults.

When I started to learn about narcissism, i noticed it within me, and within everybody. I wondered if I was actually some version of one of these yellow-eyed, heartless monsters. I was gently informed that this thought process is a sign of self-awareness and probably a sign that i wasn't a disfunctional narcissist. See, that's the key, everybody. Narcissism is a label we've put on a powerful wheel turning underneath all the psychological dirt that covers our conduct. Most of us develop beyond the dark triad, some of us are trapped forever in a savage infancy. Be aware when you read comments and people talk about narcissists as if they're some sort of clearly defined creature. Some of those comments are coming from people who are entirely at fault, who are projecting their awfulness onto others, are actually the narcissist in their own lives.

They are very scary because they're always disguised as empaths

The repetitiveness of the same patterns and dialogue gives them away . It’s mind boggling how clever they think they are

These people need deep seeded deliverance from great spirits of darkness and self torment.

They project all the time, and when they accuse you of something or of being someone you’re not, you can guarantee that they’re describing themselves!

I think narcissistic coping styles are generational in my family. I'm autistic but have engaged in some of these behaviours myself from copying people in my family. I can hear myself and have no idea why I say some of the things I do, then feel really bad. Currently going through the process of unmasking and not a moment too soon as I don't like the mask I've been using

The rage can also be internal and then they stonewall etc.

They hate ‘drama’ equates to they hate how others react to them. Why can’t they just beat you into submission already? They would like to make you an enabler, a passive, controlled, boundary-less partner who gives them endless supply. You know, without the drama. 😂 And then you, as an enabler, will convince everyone else that this is the path to enlightenment with this individual.

Everything, even simple stuff, is a drama to a narcissist, leading to really aggressive/passive aggressive exchanges….. truly exhausting

My mom always starts a fight with passive aggressive comments and when I defend myself she quickly says she doesn't want to fight! As though I'm the asshole for getting angry because she is disrespecting me. Also she lies fluently, fluidly. If there is an argument, and I persist in pointing out things that she is doing, she denies every statement, even if she contradicts herself many times in one conversation. She will say anything, scramble for excuses to be blame free.

For the past 25 years my husband has been telling me that I don’t show enough emotion when we have an argument. I just get quiet and look at him. Then a couple of days ago, my husband said that we needed to talk and asked me if I could discuss it like an adult. I said that that was an insulting thing to say. He replied that I was getting emotional like I always do when we have a discussion. I said what the hell are you talking about? He said, “see, you’re already starting to curse.” So I said that I couldn’t deal with this and walked out of the room - no yelling, no slamming doors, no stomping. It’s terrible how emotional I get. I have never been a person who yells, screams, throw things, etc. And since having an autistic child, I’ve learned to really curb my emotions because my son is very sensitive to other people’s moods and emotions and will have a meltdown if I don’t remain calm, cool and collected. Talk about projecting!

I had a friend (ex friend now) who would say how 'honest' she was and that she was 'a good person' - yet her behavior was anything but. If anyone has to convince you of who they are - they are usually the opposite of what they claim. Anyone who manipulates, plays the victim, trash talks others behind their back, takes total advantage of their partner, is entitled to the point of being intrusive, wanting you to lie for them - that's not a good, honest person - that's someone you stay away from because who wants to be associated with that?

They call us dramatic meanwhile they are the ones who stir the drama also they go around spreading rumors about us.

I've noticed this with all the cluster-B types. They reveal themselves VERY early on, but they phrase it in a humorous/non-serious way to disarm one's defenses. But they do tell you.

One trait I've noticed is a subtle competition with you or their "friends". Any success you have is downplayed, there is no genuine sense of happiness for you. Jealousy starts bubbling up in them and they start spouting backhanded remarks to lessen your achievement.

She said she hates people who create drama but when I got to know her she created a lot of drama, it felt like I was with a reckless teenager and i saw other red flags. I have children and cannot expose them to such a toxic person. I left her 1 week ago and have blocked her everywhere. This feeling of liberation is amazing🕺

With my CN, I would say that she did love other peoples drama. What she didn’t like was “drama” towards her. I think one of the few things she was honest about is that she doesn’t like confrontation, she hated to be confronted. She just wanted to be the puppet master in everyone’s lives.

Thank you for minute 11:30. Last weekend, my wife started yelling at me, "Put down the knife!" as I was doing food prep in the kitchen while we were arguing. I can't recover from that. She's creating a narrative that has nothing to do with who I am or what I try to be. The idea of harming someone with a knife is unbelievably nauseating -- even worse beyond harming someone -- even worse -- my wife? This has finally broken me. I have no hope. What's even scarier. I had let it go. I had completely blocked it out. She brought it back up. I'm packing; I'm terrified. She's laying trigger bombs and landmines in front of me. I am finally seeing the pattern of relationships I have chosen. I hope to do better in the future. If I can just make it out of this one. Nah, I'm not doing relationships after this. Thanks for being here; I'm just talking while you're typing. Thank you so much for the part about the wolf sheep. I know she's trying to make me explode so we can reset. It gets worse every time. She tries to make me complicit in her anger and self-hate.

I had loads of red flags and made excuses for them and refused to see the inconsistencies in their behaviour. I diagnosed them as a pathological liar with sado masochistic tendencies with a hint of schizophrenia . I was absolutely spot on. 23 years later I so wished I had listened to myself and intuition! I could have saved a life of misery and wounding but guess that was my spiritual lesson. Needed to love myself first.

He said i was paranoid because i thought he was still cheating on me but it was his projection onto me. I subsequently discovered he definitely was! classic narcissism!

Your story hit me hard. I ignored an early red flag like your experience… and suffered trapped in narcissistic abuse for many years. I’m fully free now 😊. In retrospect, I see the early obvious signs so clearly.

Narc adults are children with CPTSD trauma.. The child tends to turn out to be a empath or a narc based on the unuiqe circumstances. The narc/empath dynamic require both to exist. Thus part of a duality that must be healed. After one heals the narc inside themselves it naturally dissolves. A victim mindset creates Narcs & Empaths both are fragile and appeal to being special. There is life after the narc/empath dynamic and it's so freeing!

They tell everyone what to do, talk bad about you and if you say one thing about them all hell breaks out. They tell you what a great person they are. They lie constantly. They always want to talk about themselves and they collect people because they need so much attention.

This is so validating I want to cry....this is exactly what I've been through with someone I Ioved so deeply. I had no idea how sadistic and twisted this guy was, yet I'd feel sick to my stomach in his presence, but couldn't pin point why because it was so confusing.

Anyone who is constantly gaslighting, falsely accusing (projecting), criticizing, needing all the attention, expecting compliance (to the long list of whatever it is they want you to be doing for them), and very likely feeding an addiction (or two)…is going to be spinning endless chaos. It’s just inevitable. But, because they use projection so often…they insist that your REACTION to their self-created chaos, is the problem…not their intentionally self-created chaos. And that YOU are crazy, or too difficult, or too sensitive, or not ‘exciting’ enough (because you don’t drink to access every single time you go out, or because you are not drawn to porn, or drugs…or whatever their vice happens to be)…and they are so adamant in their accusations, you begging to believe it. Once self-doubt is sufficiently created…they are the puppet master of your life. And believe me…they want nothing ‘good’…for you. You are nothing more than a compliant, gaslit puppet in their self-created, self-centred, phoney ‘image game’. Run…before they get their strings into you!!

I have two covert narcissists and an enabler in my family. Its very exhausting to be around all three at once bc they all target me for something I had no control over. Also, the enabler is wayyyyyyy different when they are with me and without any of the narcissists. Which really hurts bc it means I cant trust them completely even if they act trustworthy around me alone. But as an adult, I can look back at my childhood and realize why I always felt more comfortable around other people's families than my own, as well as why I always felt lonely and depressed especially during my high school years. Luckily i turned those confused feelings into a music career!

Had a manager who is a convert narcissist, he got cut down to size when I got promoted and he and I were now on the same level and I no longer reported to that demon. Who was failing at his job but tried to make me look incompetent but the clients saw through his BS and his reign ended.

When you talked about other people’s drama 🎭, it made me think 🤔 of this. When you spend time with a narcissist doing what they want/ helping them, it’s bonding. But doing something for you? - it’s a major inconvenience. End of story.

They only pretend to be humble or shy to be liked but the moment they express their views, preferences, likes and tastes you will notice a lot of boldness and a strong admiration of people with a social status. You will realise that they hold opinions that are far from humble and that they display a hold behaviour that is far from shy or will give off alternate mixed vibes. Deep down you will see over time they strongly desire fame, recognition, status, money and looks and that’s what they admire and are truly attracted in others and wish to be surrounded by such people. They will always have some low-key truly humble and shy people around as they will serve them as boosters to their insecure ego that needs to be stroked every time before they call, meet or approach people they perceive as high-stake targets.

Kudos to you for listening to your gut. Whenever I’ve ignored my intuition, I’ve always regretted it! Every single time! I will never disregard my gut feeling again.

Malignant narcissism is a complex and extreme personality disorder characterized by a combination of narcissistic traits, antisocial behavior, and sadism. While it's common for individuals with narcissistic personality disorder to display inconsistent and manipulative behaviors, the pattern you describe, with extreme shifts from being very nice to acting like a monster, is often associated with a specific form of emotional manipulation known as the "idealization-devaluation-discard cycle."

Other things to watch for are people who are connivers. They bend the rules to suit themselves and are great bullshitters. Best believe they can and probably would use it against you if it suited them.

Deflection and projection go hand in hand. Everything revolves around a phobia surrounding accountability. If we're talking about you in a fight that I've fished for, we're not talking about me; if we're talking about a problem that's unrelated were still not talking about me and whatever you think I've done wrong. In the end, both transition to character attacks.

I think, when they say "I don't like drama", they're basically telling you that you are no longer in control of anything if you want this relationship. So if you have a different opinion.... you're DRAMA. If you say no... DRAMA. If you try to compromise on an issue.... DRAMMMMAAAAA. If you want to share how the way they treat you hurts you.... ACADEMY AWARD 👏👏👏 Also... he whole "All I want in a relationship is respect and peace" is basically just saying "if you ever do anything that irks me in the slightest.... you're drama and you need to apologise, or I'll leave".

"focus on the lessons rather than the pain"

"Sometimes you don't know who their friends are and who their enemies are."

lack of empathy can also be numbed from a lifetime of shame and blame from family members with toxic behaviours, its very difficult to be visually vulnerable when your entire life was built to hide it so you wont be manipulated or controlled in a way you do not wish. in a sense, it makes one far more sensitive to how ones actions project reactions from ppl and makes you far more observant of human behaviour because of a constant need to want to be in control of ones own agency in a defensive manner to avoid conflict with similar personality types. its why its always a breathe of fresh air when you meet those rare gems who are far more honest than they should...nothing hidden and always knowing where you stand with them

I had a friend who exhibit's narcissistic tendencies. They way they related to me left me in a state of confusion, and on an emotional rollercoaster. They excused me of being manipulative, when I asked a question. Another time when I said that the way they kept concelling plans we had was hurtful, the response I got was "I'm not responsible for your emotions". They would deflect anytime I tried to talk about my needs. A favourite line of theirs was "You don't respect my boundaries", but they never told me any boudaries - it was just a way to pass the blame onto me. They also played the victim card, constantly. They spoke so much of having a growth mindset, and wanting to grow as a person, but constantly avoided situations that would allow growth. Ugh, I wish I hadn't wasted so much time and energy on this person.

Another theme I've noticed with the whole matter of them "hating drama" as that in narci lingo, retaliation, stern demands of accountability and trauma responses to their callousness are their definition of "drama". When they start yelling, acting unhinged, crossing lines and boundaries in unethical, immoral or even illegal ways, it is "not drama". There's always an excuse or a plea for mercy and empathy they never afford other people, so their drama is "understandable" but even so much as quietly telling them something they did or said was wrong is "drama."

I realize over my life review that I was a covert and overt narcissist. Probably a bit of Asperger's mixed in. I'm self aware now. It is super cringe to think of how I behaved as a human. But it is just that, a human with faulty programming. You just gotta see it and pivot from it. Never attempt to change it or navigate it. Abandon it, and work toward being the best YOU. All we got.

Yes! I get accused of cheating or not loving him ALL the time. I've always been loyal and have never given him reason to suspect even after he was found to be cheating.

My narc ex actually said “I had to shut down my empathy to live with someone because if I care about anything I will have to care about everything.”

Your story about the free drinks struck a chord in me. I was once on a date with a guy who lied to the waitress by saying I had food allergies so there was nothing on the menu I could eat in order to have the meal I wanted made specially. I was shocked. He used me but was also trying to help me get what I wanted. It was confusing and a huge red flag!

During my separation I was so shocked on how fast I picked up on red flags and it was extremely easy to block them etc.

18 years with a covert narc. His on off hot cold tactics had me. Feeling very trapped now.

I am so shocked for the last few days.... I was so focused on getting better after break up with an abussive and narcissistic partner, that I didn't notice my bestie as well being one. Finally I see it all....

The reactive abuse never stopped. Over a decade and 2 kids. Being under that pressure daily can destroy anyone. Lost who I was. Def reacted at times. Then was told my reaction was the problem and only issue and so goes the shit cycle. Absolutely devastating. Basically took me a miracle and near tragedy to get the courage to leave and heal.

My ex would always state “feelings are not facts”, and the moment I expressed my feelings; he would say “you lost me, I can’t feel what you’re feeling”. I’ve learned this was a straight up manipulation tactic

OMG gossip beyond belief. And all that gossip is lies with the narc I know. I became friends with one person they "discarded" only to find out the real reason the person left the narc, and everything the narc gossiped to me about them was a lie too!

Yes. I had no idea the covert narcissist in my family was gossiping and making troll concern comments to anyone who’d listen and is very clever at baiting people and when they react she plays the victim and gets sympathy. Thank goodness she discarded me but alas she triangulates and still has a way to negatively impact my relationships.

Good for you dropping that guy who lied/manipulated! I'm tired of the people who intentionally break rules being the ones who get ahead of those who are conscientious and honest. Yeah "its just a drink" today, but the truth is it happens chronically over and over in a hundred ways.

"everything they do is behind the scenes" so true, not open. Until it's opened and everyone sees 👀 👀 👀 👀

Hate drama really rings true for me, I'm being alienated from our children together and I have somehow become the bad guy in the situation. He had the children for a weekend never returned them, still in court 3 years on.

The last bit a out seeming calm but saying mean and insulting things until I say something in frustration is exactly what she does. She triggers me, then savagely insults me when i get upset.

"I hate drama" from my ex meant more like "I hate when I do toxic stuff and you call me on it, so don't make up drama"... haha

They hate the “drama” of someone questioning their bull

I recently found out about covert narcissism, and finally 24 years of my marriage make sense, things I have been upset about are now seen with crystal clear clarity. He is everything you spoke of and I am very trapped in the marriage, he convinced me to move to alaska so very far from any of my friends and family…and even drove my son (his stepson) to leave and say he is never returning….after that I realized I am married to a monster and need to find a way to escape…but he is ex special ops military and I am scared of what he would do if I left

This is really hitting home for me. I have been running in circles thinking I was going crazy and that my memory was failing. I would clearly remember something totally innocuous and say "remember that time" and she would tell me it never happened or I never said this or that. I clearly remembered the event too...she would come back every now and again telling me what happened and it would be almost exactly what I had said just tweaked a little. The one thing I hated most was driving anywhere with her. She HAD to micro manage my driving, and would lose it if I went a way she didn't tell me to. That, and if she asked me a question where the answer required a little explanation she would snap, and start saying "hurry up yes or no yes or no". The real kicker was I was told one day that I didn't seem happy enough to see her when I walked in the door. Was a little annoyed about something that happened like 5 min before. Told her that I needed a second to cool down and explained what had happened. She still got mad saying I was being mean to her...This all snowballed into me getting a list of things i've said to her that upset her with the date it happened that went 6 months back and included things we had already talked about and put to rest...completely unrelated things. The worst part is this was all coming from a Licensed Clinical Social Worker working at the local ED. Sorry to dump all this here i'm just still so confused about everything, looking for answers, and don't really have anyone to talk to about any of it.

In retrospect, I recall my ex narc looking at me with that smirk on his face while I struggled to make sense of his lies and convince myself that "It could be true" (cognitive dissonance).

An empathetic person will never have to tell you they are an empath A rich mam wont tell you hes rich Actions do the talking

My girlfriend met a lesbian in her elder community. She told my girlfriend, when we break up,she will be there to pick up the pieces. From where I stood, it seemed she was going to try to break us up. That is exactly what she did so that sounds like triangulation to me. Thank you for the insight.

My biggest point here, that almost made me feel like I was insane, was dealing with the shaming behind my back and then when I explode, I "am the problem". She made me seem like everything is my fault with her family and mother. It is such a shameless tactic to use on people and even after 3 years, it still haunts me.

Is self-sabotage a trait? I am convinced someone I know is a vulnerable narcissist, they have a very strong victim mentality. They made some choices recently where they almost ended up homeless, and it was completely unnecessary and avoidable, had they taken the action they needed to. We never hear the last of it and it further validates their 'I am a victim' narrative.

It sure sounds like my ex-friend turned cyber bully is a covert narcissist. And when you told the story of the guy you briefly knew, my ex-friend did the same thing, maybe not lying to get stuff, but she had me and other people buying her stuff, and she bragged about it too. She also said she hated confrontation and drama, and that she shut down when confronted. She pulled the victim act all the time, yet tried to make herself out to be the bravest most bad-arse girl around. She could be sweet, but then on the flip side, she was incredibly arrogant and entitled. I hated her imposition in my life during the last half of our association. I don't want to call it a relationship or "friendship" because it was all so cringe. She was insane with the demands on my time and energy.

Wow. Great last one with the "other people's drama but not my own"

The projection is insane. It even went meta with him and had me so confused. I said “I feel like you’re accusing me of all the things you’re actually doing just to stop me from bringing them up.” And he would say “no, that’s exactly what you’re doing to me!”

She found my weakness. I'm very protective of women. We used to run a charity, to supply battered women with good running vehicles. I would work with them, being sensitive to their fears, and trauma. My Covert, decided to start a smear in our town that I was a "wife-beater." She effectively destroyed me and my reputation. She knew.

You're always on point. Thank you!

This video is describing overt narcissists, rather than covert ones. A covert narcissist is actually codependent and it identifies with being good and nice.

STORY TIME: I mirror their behavior, taken psychiatry and psychology and it opened my eyes to NPD. I had no idea such a thing existed! I knew "grandiose" folks, but they were ones I just could not put my finger on it... Yes I'm empathetic. Now I hate it, being one. I take on people's emotions like it's my crown. WTH I know... I've been in therapy... couples too...two , yes two don't judge lol asked me the same thing: " if I thought my partner was toxic"? Ok... So, I've been with him since I was 30 years old. I'm 46 now, he's 50. WE both, wanted the same things, ; house, get married, carry/ adopt a child... Get married in Hawaii and Bora Bora I picked for my/ our honeymoon... Only fair right? He picked the destination wedding I picked honeymoon. I thought that was a great idea, and I respected him for taking pride in his wedding. Just as his wedding, as mine. Ladies forget, it's a partnership....well, forward to today... Not married, I have moved away from all my closest friends since I knew when I was a teenager....I never got to see my Mom, she passed away at 61 very suddenly... See, his Mom, his mother is living with us AND has been for ten years now. NOT HOW I IMAGINED/ HE TOLD ME- "it's just for lil while until we buy a house with a mother in law suite". Still no suite. She's up my bum. Really, her bathroom is next to mine I can hear her fart. Not funny. I'm just starting to realize, blindfolded off, he will never commit, he will stay the same, I will ALWAYS be "at fault" for all that happens in people's lives. Including mine. "I'm my worst enemy", you would die out there without me" , "you'll never find anyone like me", "you'll miss me" I'm so sick of this crap. I'm a full time student, I work 12-24 hour shifts as a CNA. He got me efed up. He's never seen me grind this hard. That's because I cannot count on him. Zero. When I worked at 4am having an AP anatomy exam at 730 am, he called me from jail to pick him up and bail him out. He's been gone 3 DAYS. Just like that, he expected me to run two hours away. Nahhhh I thought. I picked him up. Last minute, I even slept in, I didn't answer my phone at all on my way there, I covered all my bases at school, I pulled up his face was scared" I didn't think you were coming!!!" Yup I wasn't. That was his last time. There is no next time. Story 2: Hello walk out while I'm studying, go next door and give the neighbor a HUGE SPEAKER to play music while I'm studying for my tests. No joke. They're / neighbors getting wasted, when I saw him naked on the porch outside, he was so inhibriated he was peeing on himself. I just left him. Then unfortunately, he started peeing the bed, 3-4 times a week. I just burst out crying out of anger, frustration, despair..I just changed those sheets, put a nice comforter on, pillow cases, and he's peeing on me while I'm trying to sleep. I still don't know how I made the Dean's List. Two semesters in a row. Now I know I do not need him. That's not love. He will never hold himself accountable for anything in his life. I stopped holding my breath. I put him on a pedestal. I lost MYSELF, my sense of self. Now that I'm stronger, he is scared. Because I will walk out whenever I want to. Granted, I still don't fall for his gaslighting, stonewalling. "You do you boo" you do you"!! That's all I got. Thank goodness for psychiatry and psychology classes. He's a textbook covert NPD. I never would have thought.. I always thought I was a good judge of character.. SMH Much love y'all ❤❤ stay educated ❤

He didn't rage-he goes into 'pity me' mode and this is 'not what my intent was'. When I confronted my ex with the facts he said "I forgave myself for that a long time ago." And yes, he accused me of cheating and that his son was not his.

omg, there's sol many vids of yours that i think "yeah they get it", but this one just smashes home how right you are. i could cry

Oh my gosh, I would have turned around and gotten a cab/Uber. On top of everything else, you don’t have a date with the emotional capacity to actually buy you a drink on your date. He has to steal it!

What to add to this discussion...? Everything comment is relatable. Almost every day I remember a scenario with my ex and think "oh, that's why she said that, acted like that." It's funny how she would actually lose track of her defenses and not realize that she's completely telling on herself. My favorite line: "why do I always have to defend myself!" Stay strong everyone!

I like that! Focus on the lessons & not the pain. Well said.

I love the pop ups! It really helps visually when you watch it POP during the process of processing what happened. Something similar happened to me with an old acquaintance of mine who I had a set unpleasant experience with. During our outing, he immediately got verbally aggressive (because I dared to NOT fall in line and agree with something he said). He was tying to gather data on my worst traits (with the obvious intent to weaponized later). I won’t go on as to how ridiculous the interaction got, needless to say “the overdrive” was off the chain. A few days later I decided to compare the experience to a “how to know if you are talking to a narcissist”. It was scored to 25 with 25 being full blown covert narcissism. He scored 19/25.😶. Needless to say, he no longer exist in my world.

Yours is the first channel that discusses narcissism, that has really made me feel like you actually understand how it feels to deal with a narcissist. Thanks!

It’s really interesting watching your videos. I was lost in a 15 year relationship and now that I finally had enough, I’m realizing every step and point made in these videos describe her

Hey, thanks for highlighting my comment on my ex friend on vacation. She was always difficult on vacations @12:24✌️. I have her pinned as a communal narcissist with high traits of somatic as well. Also BPD because she has eating disorders and high rage fits. Everyone dumps her as she once told me.

Absolutely 💯 agree with the last comment on the tv!! Going through that right now. Family event soon. I am not going to be alone with her. If everyone leaves the table, I’m following. If the living room, I’ll let the dogs in the backyard and go play with them. Or by myself and be on my phone talking to someone. She’s usually on her best behavior in front of others who know she’s full of crap around the ones in the group who don’t. But alone no way.

You explain things so carefully. It's so hard to explain this stuff. 🎉

You are explaining everything that I'm going through in my life, on my job, and with half sister's.

I don’t know if you read this comments or not, but if you do, I want you to know that you have helped me so much with your videos. My father is a toxic narcissist who abused me most of my life verbally and physically, and your videos really help me put things in perspective. Keep up the great work. ❤

These videos are just too good... I can't stop watching. The relief to finally know my narcissist is really helps! I'll stop being manipulated and controlled. They're actually bullies. Booze bullies, food bullies etc etc hopefully you might cover bullying.

You have a lovely radio voice too. You may already have one but a podcast might be another revenue stream for you and you could also help people like you are. Big hugs to a warm hearted lady.

Just listening to this is making me feel nauseous: flash backs of emotional tsunami. Good post. Well done.

They sometimes will also openly say it to you in subtle words during a time you might perceive them as being vulnerable. They will say things like, they are broken or they were previously unwanted. This will guilt trip their victim into loving them more or blinding them. There are also subtle signs like pouting when they are moody, early on before the devalue phase and before the mask comes off. You know it's the end when they do something that makes you sad and they call you to gauge how sad you are or they start poking at your character when you've told them full well what kind of person you are at the beginning of the relationship. Like why you didn't flag down the waiter for a table (when you are standing next to the please wait here to be seated sign).