I'm middle-aged and have learned by now that if I'm "overly" friendly and quick to forgive people for being rude or disrespectful to me, they will learn that they can get away with it anytime. People who have anger or rudeness issues will choose kind/nice people to vent their anger toward because they know they'll be quickly forgiven. At this point in my life, I've learned to let any disrespectful people know right away that I'm not going to tolerate their rudeness towards me. It has made an incredibly positive difference in how others treat me, and has consequently increased my self esteem.

Even the people you've trusted most will eventually take advantage and lose respect of you if you're "too nice" or over-giving or have no boundaries. I learned this the hard way by being too helpful, too nice and too forgiving. It happened with both family and friends. I finally spoke up and am now pretty much alone.

The terrible thing is, if one has self-respect, it often makes for a pretty lonely life. There are so many punks out there.

As I grow older I’ve acquire a taste for the salty tears of rude and disrespectful people and really get a kick out of telling them I don’t have time for their nonsense nor will I make time for it, never let negative people tell you your worth.

One behavior I'd like to add: People with self respect don't allow undue responsibility to be placed on their shoulders without protest. Too many people (especially employers nowadays!) think it's OK to pay and treat people like 'serfs' but expect them to act like 'executive vice presidents' when it comes to taking on tasks.

I suffered all of the above until I learned not to. 1. I taught my offspring that if anyone treats you very badly, it's about them not you. Most people are respectful. 2. If someone is being horrible to me, I say: I don't know what your problem is but I didn't cause it. You can't reason with unreasonable people. Walk away. 😂

For me, their level of respect to you doesn't show who you are. It shows who they are.

To all the people out there that are going through the same struggles I did, here are some simple perspectives and ideas I realized for myself. If you don't respect yourself, other people will sense it and so you might be disrespected. That's reality. I am aware now that I lacked a lot in general, not just in self-respect. Don't expect people to care, don't feel sorry for yourself and at the same time don't make yourself small for anyone. You were not born to baby sit other peoples feelings or make yourself less than to avoid offending them. Be all you can be. Be fed up with your weaker self that walks on egg shells for other people. We were are all born with great potential. It's all about what you want right now, whether that's being more, doing more or having more, and better. The past only matters if you want it to. It will take some time to reprogram your mind to work for you and not against you. That's right, your mind is meant to serve you, not run you. You teach your mind what you learned and experienced, and program it with routine and habits. You are the owner and boss of your mind, you can reject or approve any idea or suggestion it voices to you. There will be past programming that will echo in your mind, but be conscientious and remind yourself that these self-limiting beliefs and doubts are echoes of past beliefs, intentions and desires, as well as programming, you must conscientiously reject fearful and doubtful thoughts that cause you to feel less than about yourself. Your mind must serve to empower you, guide you and help you prosper, insist on this. Foster an attitude and spirit that promotes positive and empowering beliefs, ideas, attitude and spirit. Honor, respect and value what matters most to you. Even though we are not arrogant top gun jet fighter pilots that think highly of themselves because they have to or they might die. Much the same, we must find it in us to believe in our greatest ability, be certain of how important we are to ourselves and express our Ego to our satisfaction. Also, a lot of people are miserable because they see the world through a hateful and disliking lens. Just say to yourself! It has to be good for me! Don't hate or cheat. Seek only what you like and love, and you will like and love your life. Breathe the joy, be in it to win it.

People who refuse to apologize for their wrongdoing cannot stay as your friend.

That’s why I love my own company! I am an introvert and I am beyond happy.

False accusations don't always require defending yourself since narcissists often falsely accuse to bait someone into an argument. Then they use your reaction against you. Sometimes silence is the best response and, once you realize you're dealing with a narcissist, leave and go no contact.

Having boundaries is going to protect you. Saying no!

Showing respect for others in everyday life is a great way to show you care for them.

This was marvelous. You really clearly listed very accurately the types of psychological abuse that must be rejected if one has self respect and is self empowered. Thank you

I am tiered of dealing with dysfunctional relationship, family, people. I have become a recluse, loner. I would rather be single and alone than in a dysfunctional relationship, friendship.

I have distanced myself from certain people for the very things you list here Brainy Dose.

People sometimes tend to label me difficult or downright awnry. I now see that is no fault of mine. They say this only because I stick up for myself and they feel irritated because they find me difficult to control. It's not their business to be trying to control me to begin with.!

After doubting a recent decision, this video made me realize that I have a lot of self-respect. Thank you for further validating my thoughts and feelings 💛

We can't control whether or not someone will try to exploit us, but we can sometimes exploit the exploitation by using it to our advantage.

I turned 65 this week. It’s not so much the aberrant or narcissistic behavior as much as it is the the soft or apathetic people in charge who enable this, and some who even validate it or champion it.

The thing is if you stand up for yourself, you get often get gaslighted and put down... you get a lot of emotional abuse, it is quite tiring to stand up for yourself

Great topic as always 👍🏾 👍🏾 A great Motto: Stand for something or fall for anything. In an Era of following the latest trend, know that when you have Manners, respect, integrity and self respect these qualities will cause others to ostracized you. Stand up and speak up.

As from myself, as a person who has always respected myself, coming from a Lost memory of a Loving Family. After losing them all after being caregiver to my Loved Ones. Once that became, and during the acceleration to this, I was emotionally broken and became vulnerable for years and sadly alone. Maybe I was in Hibernation for 'A Moment'. I See that then, I was taken advantage of it at that time. I Gave and Gave, thinking I was doing the right thing.... well I lost by doing what the decisions I made at those time. .... I never make responses on these post, I do not why .. maybe my reflections .... but thankyou for your post about this . I am tired of someone telling something that I did not do.... but to avoid the '' '' I just agree to ..... In order to have a calm night... possibly Hopefully..

Me too, forgiveness without revenge never let them be empathic to their victims

Boy, do I know a thing or two about false accusations! It's a favorite form of abuse I've had to deal with all my life, a form that I'm particularly pissed off by . . . and one of the hardest ones to fight back against. Because your anger (however justified) WILL be held against you, and it's hard to assemble a courtroom-style defense on the spot when attacked this way. Moreover, some people seem to think that it's disrespectful to contest an accusation when they've "caught" you, and take it as back-talk or insolence when you do. I can actually remember my first week of high school, when they misprinted my schedule and sent me to the wrong room for Study Hall. I was then nearly dragged out of one session and bluntly accused of cutting classes, even when i had my printed schedule right there in front of their eyes! When they saw how angry I was at this obvious insult to me as a student (I *never* cut classes, and my records should have shown them that), they threatened to somehow get me in even more trouble for daring to stand up for myself. It was cleared up, but that moment shilled me with its injustice. And as I endured many other moments like it, I found that no one would ever speak up for me when I was treated that way, either. It really weakened my willingness to speak up. One of the great disgraces of our society is how we trian people to submit to indignities like this, and make it part of our character.

I totally agree. The worst one for me is being called a liar. I am instantly ready to fight!

I think training your brain not to react to negative ppl is the most powerful thing. Sooner or later, you start to play them dust

Absolutely! I concur with this list wholeheartedly! Appreciate the great advice, as well! Clearly though, I need to work on my level of self respect! Have an awesome day everyone, peace out!🌺💜🌍

Unfortunately, standing up for ourselves in the real world always comes at a price. Thus we must pick and choose our battles while weighing the consequences.

Does anyone realize how difficult it is to find people who have the same life standards as I do??? It's like everyone wants to be fake liars.

Yes, because I have no where to stay, she is using me daily for rides, my foodshare, to do errands, I'm so done. Ty for this, let's me know I'm irritated for a reason and my feelings are valid. I will move out very soon and cut ties. ✂️

I must add that this comes from family members as well... my dad has said some pretty rude things and I don't care if you're my family or not... enough is enough. Especially when he brings up hurtful things about me losing my babies from miscarriages. He has said things I will never get out of my head.

Yes I love when people accuse me of being angry when I’m happy . It kinda makes me laugh . Yes this annoys me certain things about my life are no one s business . I don’t like people with controlling behaviour s . My life my rules . I also don’t appreciate people who think they own the right to take advantage of me . Great video

Respect Is Earned: To Get Respect, You Have To Give Respect.

Good video !! I would add invasive behaviors to the list . New friends hepling themselves in your refrigerator instead of asking for what they would like you to give them is a good exemple !

Wow!! Thank you so much. I will listen again, and take notes. Such a useful summary, pinpointing the essentials for self-respect, for which I have been struggling, for such a long time...Of course thumbs up!! 👍🖐👌☮

This is my favorite video on KZfaq, now. And I really mean it.

I flat out dropped someone whom I had been friends with when she accused me of taking something from her purse which I didn't do. She wouldn't back down and in addition did it in front of multiple aquaintenances. Years later, she reached out to me to say she was getting married. I wished her well but made it fairly clear in a subtle way that I still wanted nothing to do with her. Haven't seen or heard from her since. Cannot trust her. She might try something else.

Respecting my own boundaries so needed to hear this thanks 😊

We often lack self-respect because society typically makes a huge emphasis on the arbitrary need to conform. When we're little kids (elementary school-aged), we're our truest selves, but we lose our identities around middle school/high school because that's when we're inundated with toxic societal stigmas; we're often told that we need to "be this" or "do that" in order to be successful or be an archetypal "good person" based on superfluous and superficial societal standards. As a result, when we reach adulthood, we try so hard to ultimately be something we're not, and we end up being miserable. My personal philosophy is to embrace your inner dark side. Now this has NOTHING to do with Star Wars; I consider the dark side to be the good side. It might be more difficult to see in the darkness, but it's the LIGHT that blinds you. Many people rely on the light as a beacon of guidance, when - in reality - it blinds them by devoiding them of their true identities. When you start to look outside of the norm, you're exposed to new perspectives. These new-found perspectives, coupled with an introspective way of thinking, will allow you to not only learn more about the world around you, but they will allow you to learn more about yourself as well. Absorbing more perspective is key to developing self-awareness. Ultimately, you metaphorically become "one with the dark side" when your self-awareness ascends to such an extent that you don't rely on normality to guide you anymore. Since you know yourself so well, you no longer feel inclined to reach out to other people for validation (which otherwise provides other people means with which to hurt you), you don't rise and fall based on what other people tell you, you don't feel obligated to sculpt your life around societal conformity, and you sure as hell don't base your own self worth on other peoples perceptions of you. You're your own person 110%, and you are far less interested in caring about what others think of you, and THAT, my friends, is POWER!! When self-awareness allows you to rediscover your inner child, i.e, your truest self, you know that you're on the right path. Break free from the proverbial chains of societal normality, be the best version of YOURSELF and EMBRACE THE DARK SIDE!

Ghosting multiple times from that one person who says they Love you but then think for whatever reason they can come and go when they want to in your life, I don' t do the toxic roller coaster b.s. Know your boundaries and don' t let anyone stomp on them.

This goes for how governments and bosses treat you as well as people in your private life.

I can't deal with people in the workplace. The workplace is the biggest stressor in my life. Immature and disrespectful

Stand and keep standing up for yourself.

The culture of my family and their friends is one of intrusiveness, low self esteem and poor boundaries. Part of it comes from our particular religion, a one where many feel it is their personal duty to tell you how to live your life without first checking to see if you are interested in such advice or whether you know already and are just "getting there" at your own pace. I still believe in God, and it's partly because according to my experience, in that relationship, God doesn't even behave like that and is patient. I wish people would learn to mind their own business. And stop the negative gossip. Almost 40 and still trying to get used to loving and respecting myself.

thank you thank you

In terms of false accusations, there's ONE small fly in this ointment . . . if at some point you worked in Customer Service where the customer clumped you in with the company you work for / represent, you can't quite "Stand Up" for yourself because in a sense, you ARE the company, at least where that customer is concerned. AND that placative behavior can be habit forming if you've done that job for awhile . . . and it's hard to remember sometimes that "Hey, wait a minute ! ! ! . . . *I'M* the customer in this scenario." . . . LOL . . .

2:27 unjustified anger - oh they'll try to justify it by blaming YOU, even tho THEY'RE supposed to be in control of their own feelings & actions!

The best way to deal with it is to ignore antagonists and keep on walking; if they try to stop you/get in your way, plow right through them. It's easy to know when to speak up, mostly let things be water off a duck's back.

Not everyone will see your value or worth. Not everyone will treat you as valuable or worthy. You've got to know it yourself and not take it personally.

thanks, good video

Thank you for Sharing.They should put Your Videos in Schoolls Health Classses.

When we do the best we can and someone tells us we don't have what it takes to make it in this world, walk away and avoid them because they will never be your advocate

I agree with this list to a degree. Since many people are in transition in their lives and working through great difficulties, they may break some of the rules on this list. In hindsight, they may become more aware of themselves and the impact of their behaviors on other people. Had we given the person another chance, or stated how we felt, we may not have discarded someone who could have been an asset to our lives.

All of this is very important for a man who is seeking a mate to remember. All of us really but particularly in interactions with women.

Thank you for the message 🙏🏾

great video thanks

This message is simply great and l think we need much more of this type of education to build our self love self belief and self confidence and courage to stand up for our self respect and self esteem... Thank you so much and would you make some more of this building up videos. Amen

Yes indeed respect my worth🥰

I've learnt a lot of lessons from this single video!! Thanks a lot Brainy Dose ❤❤

It's an inspiring video. Thank you for sharing!

Something can be infra-dig, meaning it's below one's dignity. Not because of pride but because it's a waste of time. The man with true self-respect doesn't depend for his integrity/self-respect/sense of self-worth on other people's behaviour: only his own, for he can control only his own behaviour. If someone is offensive towards me in one way or another, I don't ignore the offensiveness but certainly don't say anything. The offensive person's offensive behaviour is namely that person's affair, not mine. My own conduct is my affair, which means I remain polite regardless, and don't initiate a conflict, which is the definition of a gentleman. Again and again, this tactic has led to the offensive person later apologising to me. As for someone lying to my face, I wouldn't dream of calling them out, for that's not going to change the liar's behaviour. In my experience, it leads merely to another lie. When someone makes unreasonable demands on me, I just say 'No' in a polite/friendly manner, and never explain, never get into an argument about it. And if someone wants to control me, if it doesn't really matter, I let them, for peace is always preferable to being 'right'. Very often, if I disagree with someone about something, I just let them be 'right', for my own sake. What do I care if they think I'm wrong? My chief dictum in life is the words of one Lord Balfour: 'Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.'

Am I the only one here who feels like false accusations, criticism without constructive facts and lying are all the same?

I'm doing great! Thank you for showing me I am not a bitch, I simply have self-respect.

A huge one doesn't appear on your list. Swearing. To, a bout or around me, a few words in particular. I won't tolerate them. Absolutely the height of bad manners & insult. Whether expressions of anger or frustration, they sound aggressive & even of barely suppressed violence. People who direct negative emotions at others can't be coperated with or trusted. No excuse for it. 😕

Thanks for the work. Like the list of situations that are disrespectful 🎉

Thanks PERHAPS here self meaning essence and not EGO kind of things generally confused or intermingled as definition of self is not precisely defined. Thanks for all the points and characteristics of self respect ANALYSIS quite handy and useful. Thanks again.

Great video

This is excellent

Awesome lessons guys thank you ❤

In disgrace, self-respect requieres a lot of bad experiences..., until you don't have any bad experiences, you can't learn anything, self-respect learns in these manners

I don't trust one damn person where I live. They're trying to do you dirty anyway they can & I'll confront them real quick and let them know that I don't put up with that shit. If you were to have a wreck or if you were to have some kind of disability, all people do nowadays is get out that cell phone and take pictures of everything and then gossip about it. That damn gossiping burns me up. People don't take the time to get to know people anymore, they judge everybody anymore.

i have been tough on a narcissist she hates me yet i don't care she took advantage of my mom yet she is not taking advantage of me she has been a sidewinder so if i have to be a diva so be it she caused the problem she can sit in the mess she made she love bombs when she wants something then when she doesn't want something she is smarmy demeaning and rude awesome video!

Sometimes i've talked about someone that wronged me and mutually known to us. They quickly said oh no, l can tell you they're a good person. That's just either a cop out or they simply don't care. I replied, of curse you'll say that because they've obviously not wronged you. They were suprised and didn't actually think of that. If the people l mentioned wronged him in the same or similar way, l doubt they'd be saying they're good people. He learned fast that l wasn't just going to accept this behaviour of the mutually known people. He was basically trying to stand up and force me to agree that they're good people.

Yeah, I've been noticing controlling behavior from the lady I am staying at her house. She just told me to set my alarm, another time told me to get her meds before I went to the gym and not after. She makes me feel uncomfortable, she use to say hun, had a valentine theme on the messenger, I refused to click the like button cause it was a heart and I barely know her and she says i love you, I ignore it and refuse to say it back.

Shared!

That liar part is what I can't stand

If you are wasting my time you are not respecting my life...

Thankyou.

You gain self respect…..people don’t like it. They fall out with you cos you stop being a giver, doer or being a doormat. It’s sad it’s like that’s all they wanted you for. They dump their guilt n shame on you n blame you for stuff quite irrelevant. You fall out with them cos you won’t tolerate their disrespectful behaviour. You end up feeling lonely and struggle with loneliness. You end up feeling like shxx cos you think there’s something wrong with you in not tolerating their behaviours. It’s like a lose lose situation cos you end up lonely. Frightened to make new friends cos the narrative is they’ll hurt you like everyone else has. 😢😢😢

This is all true. That's why the older I get, I find myself becoming more misanthropic and introverted. I'd rather spend my downtime with my dogs, my wine and my reruns than deal with the dregs of society known as people.

I don’t tolerate any of these… and indeed it can be lonely… sometimes I think maybe if I learned to stand up for myself in more assertive way… but sometimes it’s just similar to when you say “no” to people… they just don’t like that… and there is nothing you can do about it… it’s their problem… my neighbors just stopped talking to me… because of false accusations and disrespect… and me standing up for myself… it’s kind of funny tho… I don’t mind that at all 😅

Couldn't we use more content like this on YT.

It's perfect because it leaves them all together and then they're force to either live with it or learn from it.

I agree with everything they say in this program. Thanks for these statements.😁👍✨

As an American citizen, the US GOVT has done all of these negative behaviors since 2021. Have enough self respect to be angry.

Thank you so much for this!

Everything here is from fact from reality ☺️. Just be yourself 🤗 to the world 🌎. No matter

Well said appreciated

I feel like in this era we can't be nice as pple are so awful it forces you to be cold shame really. You can be firm but fair but definitely don't be afraid to say no.

My government comes to mind as I listen to 9 Behaviors a Person With Self-Respect Will Never Tolerate

Thank you! I’ve never shared this part of my ex-marriage relationship to anyone. The only time he wanted sex with me was the first time. We did have six children, but it was on my almost insistence for sex - five times. Like Leah, I was blessed with children even tho he didn’t want or love me. I was also blessed that he left us for a younger woman.

Sometimes it's better to bite your tongue but don't put yourself in that position again.

Many of these people confuse kindness with weakness, and attempt to capitalize on it to their largesse. 🧐

But who can control other people? They can do what they want. You can only control yourself. If you keep defending yourself all the time, youll get stress and tired because you cannot at all control others.

Friday 4/27/2023 06:49am I 👍🏽👌🏾👍🏽 agree with this!!

Thanks friends

Being bullied. Just going along when you'd rather not

I want to learn English,the video was helpful

Basics for life. 💯