Thanks for sharing part of your story. Not to be weird or anything, but did somebody give you a hug lately? I kinda feel, that this is one thing that you might need, somebody to just hug you and tell you that you are worth to be on this world and that you're needed. the vids that you do are good. Plus,you're still young, things will get better, even just a bit just try to achieve your goals, I can tell you're a better person than you think you are. kep up the good work, man :)