There's a priest who nursed a mongrel
As the apple of his eye.
Mongrel stole a steak, one morning,
Priest decided she should die.
What's the matter? What the dickens?
Who's to crack binomial odds?
Was the mongrel way too bitchy?
Was the priest a yellow dog?
Refrain:
Ah, good gracious, what a drama!
Had it been the Lord's ill grace?
Could the devil, dealing rounds, have
Dealt a Queen instead o' an Ace?
Maybe, everything is likely,
Maybe, everything can be.
Only one thing is unlikely :
What can never ever be.
Once, there was Jose, a sergeant,
He was crazy with Carmen.
He, one day, became a cuckold,
And massacred his Carmen.
Only, boys, he wasn't guilty!
Amorous, not a miscreant.
And Carmen was also guiltless:
Out of feeling, in the end!
Refrain.
I love you beyond all measure.
I'm a dunce in love for real.
Not Jose and not Carmen though,
Nor the mongrel or the priest.
But at times, when cerebrating,
I would shudder at the dread:
Either I will have you buried,
Or else you will have me dead.
Refrain.