A Crap Guide to D&D [5th Edition] - Artificer
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4 жыл бұрынJoseph makes a dumb Dungeons and Dragons guide for dumb people
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@spindash64 3 жыл бұрын
“I cast Eldritch Blast” “I cast Magic Missile” “I seduce” “I rage” I cast _GUN_
@arthurnoisetier1070 3 жыл бұрын
Eldritch Cannon
@dr.eckschwein1062 3 жыл бұрын
Alakablam!
@PaulTheSkeptic 3 жыл бұрын
Do you work for Apple?
@dutchranger5530 3 жыл бұрын
@@dr.eckschwein1062 this one wins
@XtreemAlan 3 жыл бұрын
Monk: *I CAST FIST*
@tactishovel2247 2 жыл бұрын
Fun fact: when I first tried out the Artificer, I noticed that for the Eldritch Cannon spell, the description says that you can put legs on it. The thing is, *It didn't mention a limit,* so I created the "Spider Tank," an 8-legged eldritch cannon, and I am currently in the works of trying to create the "Eldritch Centipede," an eldritch cannon with 20 legs.
@baylorreyna7646 2 жыл бұрын
Theres nothing truly terrifying unless your able to create life’s most disgusting creature. Then strap a gun on it.
@Nobody-xq8vj 2 жыл бұрын
"Brings out flamethrower"
@connormcconnell7805 2 жыл бұрын
@@Nobody-xq8vj you fool the spider *is* the flamethrower
@Digicoree 2 жыл бұрын
Can it shoot legs tho???
@connormcconnell7805 2 жыл бұрын
@@Digicoree no
@blackstone1a 4 жыл бұрын
Playing an Artificer be like: “Harry Potter and the Second Amendment”
@ziyair2998 4 жыл бұрын
@Viktor Magnusson i dont understand why youre saying what
@ziyair2998 4 жыл бұрын
@Viktor Magnusson second amendment, as in from the constitution. The right to bear arms, I assume you're not American?
@StitchXDHD 4 жыл бұрын
@Viktor Magnusson Second amendment isn't an apology or mistake, it's the right to have guns in USA.
@blackstone1a 4 жыл бұрын
Viktor Magnusson It’s a joke on how you’re a spellcaster with a gun
@Ariaelyne 4 жыл бұрын
@@StitchXDHD Technically it's the right to have a ready militia to defend the republic, but reading only the second part of it is fine as well (The point being a republican fear that having a standing army would lead to a military coup, hence the need of the people to be able to defend the republic)
@thealchemistking4063 3 жыл бұрын
Artificer: *”I’m going to invent a combustible lemon and burn your house down”*
@CrazyHand7894 3 жыл бұрын
I see someone's a fan of Portal 2.
@tuckermatis1572 3 жыл бұрын
It's like Mom always said: "When life gives you lemons, make some grenades." Or something like that.
@blaxidii7360 3 жыл бұрын
Hahaha! Parry this you fucking casual!
@Jam_Squared 3 жыл бұрын
When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your Damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
@drclockworks4280 3 жыл бұрын
We had an artificer Who did exactly that since the DM kept throwing lemons at him ( it's a bit of an inside joke) and he used said combustible lemon to burn a Griffon to death and if that wasn't enough he started dancing with the bard on top of the burned corpse
@koboldcrusader 3 жыл бұрын
Y'know, I can sum up the Artillerist subclass with one sentence: *"The primary use of this weapon is violating the Geneva Convention."*
@tanith117 3 жыл бұрын
Alchemist: who cares about the FDA?
@Trench1919A4 3 жыл бұрын
Is prop blocking a warcrime?
@Bluecho4 3 жыл бұрын
Then again, half the spells in the PHB would probably violate the Geneva Convention. Isn't that right, Heat Metal?
@GlizzyGoblin757 3 жыл бұрын
😐reddit joke war crim funy hha 😐
@siegfried1422 3 жыл бұрын
Just remember, in Faerûn, it's an optional Geneva Suggestion.
@tuseroni6085 3 жыл бұрын
way i see it: wizards are to artificers what theoretical physicists are to engineers. had an engineer once demonstrate this to me as he was working on a product that levitates plastic balls with air, my thought was "calculate the terminal velocity of the balls and modulate the air output to match that speed" his method was "hook a fan to a potentiometer and dial it in til the ball floats"
@wrennybih 2 жыл бұрын
i mean, both work i suppose
@gormauslander 2 жыл бұрын
@@wrennybih one takes less time and gets stuff done
@danielmcnaughton3213 2 жыл бұрын
As a soon-to-be engineer, I wholeheartedly concur
@tiusverit7574 2 жыл бұрын
@@gormauslander other can be used in nuclear science without fear of fukunobil
@substandard5587 2 жыл бұрын
Nature will always give accurate calculations ... also my brain empty and physics can be hard.
@ChezDispenser 4 жыл бұрын
"from a vibrator to a vibe-rater" UNDERRATED JOKE.
@pa7764 4 жыл бұрын
I thought thats what he said but Vi-berater(berator?) also makes sense if that monster is called a 'Vi', and he's berating it. A long shot, vibe-rater sounds better but doesn't really fit the cartoon I thought?
@titusshaver6983 4 жыл бұрын
Patrik Axberg this comment does not pass the vibe check.
@azericthetraveller6355 3 жыл бұрын
I always thought of it as the “Vibe Raider”
@hoppyhopper2020 3 жыл бұрын
@@azericthetraveller6355 Same here
@thesunwillneverset 3 жыл бұрын
@@pa7764 You could say 'rating' something would be equivalent to 'checking' it, hence *vibe check-er*.
@stingingcashew2321 3 жыл бұрын
Artificer: I'm going to defeat you with the power of science, and this gun I made
@jlord5078 3 жыл бұрын
Cleric: is it a holy gun? Artificer: I mean... It makes holes.
@sethb3090 2 жыл бұрын
@@jlord5078 "I call my cannon the Consecrator, because anyone on the receiving end becomes holy."
@arnovanboxem2519 2 жыл бұрын
sounds like senku from doctor stone
@noblesseoblige319 4 жыл бұрын
"Hahahaha Rangers." I felt that on a spiritual level
@Bloodthirstier 4 жыл бұрын
Cries in Beastmaster
@erinkarp6317 4 жыл бұрын
**Cries in Gloom Stalker**
@the24thcolossusjustchillin39 4 жыл бұрын
Let's just hope the variant class features UA makes its way into an official source book
@echhtreme8530 4 жыл бұрын
a _magical_ level?
@catintime3917 4 жыл бұрын
Cries in plains walker
@hamburgersandwich4273 4 жыл бұрын
Enemy: en guard Artificer: *pulls out sword and starts battling* Artificer: *throws sword* Enemy: you fool Artificer: well you see the sword was never my weapon of choice Artificer: *pulls out glock*
@thehighwayman3122 4 жыл бұрын
Or, even better, Artificer: *Throws sword* Enemy: You fool Sword: *Starts fighting on it's own* Artificer: You were saying?
@morphingninja 4 жыл бұрын
I throw my returning handax.
@Lunar_Inferno 4 жыл бұрын
I see you're a man of Slimecicle aswell
@chairulimran9205 4 жыл бұрын
Another guard: my lord is that legal?
@xonolia5661 4 жыл бұрын
Percy that you?
@alitaher003 4 жыл бұрын
Playing Artificer is like that one image of Daniel Radcliffe holding a gun in each hand.
@leila13dnd 3 жыл бұрын
Absolutely.
@Zerpderp0 3 жыл бұрын
Alakablam!
@Doribi117 3 жыл бұрын
That is actually a whole movie too, Guns Akimbo is the title, it's weird.
@thisisacomment6061 3 жыл бұрын
I literally JUST watched this movie
@generalatlasdiamokov1354 3 жыл бұрын
Pretty much
@DonTinker 3 жыл бұрын
Wizard: I'm the nerdiest class on D&D Artificer: Hold my +1 Beer
@iddomargalit-friedman3897 2 жыл бұрын
Best comment here
@Y0G0FU 2 жыл бұрын
No no no no! DO NOT hold his +1 Beer thats a trap!
@zetaking2909 2 жыл бұрын
like 99% sure neither of them have the CON to handle a beer +1.... and both will cause different but equally horrible/awesome outcomes if they try
@x808drifter Жыл бұрын
Bard laughs a both of and proceeds to seduce the druid.
@daviddaugherty2816 11 ай бұрын
Paladin smites her for cheating on her.
@nickotronick7725 4 жыл бұрын
*Mentions Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture: Me: I'll go get the howitzers, lord Sword & Shield
@krvys7226 4 жыл бұрын
"Tchaikovsky no" "Tchaikovsky YES!"
@SpaceJawa 4 жыл бұрын
@@krvys7226 "TCHAIKOVSKY ALWAYS YES!"
@zlatko8051 4 жыл бұрын
TAKE COVERRRRRR
@zlatko8051 4 жыл бұрын
Also who the hell took the fuses
@cruelcimmcia859 4 жыл бұрын
I laughed so hard when he said it, he's my favorite composer !
@darienb1127 4 жыл бұрын
He mentioned my favorite classical instrument, The Cannon.
@skyex 4 жыл бұрын
Ah yes, the primary percussion instrument used in the 1812 Overture.
@devonfortier7628 4 жыл бұрын
Tchaikovsky cannons are not instruments!
@TheIrrelevantYT 4 жыл бұрын
Music to my ears.
@devonfortier7628 4 жыл бұрын
@@arthurboyle7982 kzfaq.info/get/bejne/mMBpYLN3ytmXnYE.html Oh you poor sap. You've never seen this SFM. I love obscure references.....
@atl4ska337 4 жыл бұрын
Devon Fortier not with that attitude
@KanuckStreams 3 жыл бұрын
Can confirm that the "Item Dupe Glitch" is absolute nonsense. Me and my two party members (me a Sorcerer, other members are a Wizard and an Artificer) were about to go into a boss fight against a dragon, we were Level...2? 3? Either way, not high and this fight would be tough. After a few minutes of discussion on what to do, and going over what powers the Artificer had, we decided that she would duplicate the Wand of Magic Missiles I had to make two more. After confirming through double-checking the rulebook and asking the DM, we did the duplications, all sneaked into the boss room, then unloaded all seven charges of all three wands into the boss. Twenty-seven d4+27 damage later, the DM described how the dragon was killed before it even woke up as it was effectively Macross Missile Massacre'd in the span of three seconds.
@crimsonwizahd2358 2 жыл бұрын
You guys basically unloaded a Magic Missile mini gun barrage on that poor dragon....XD
@romanc7658 2 жыл бұрын
This is the fun shit i hope to have one day in dnd
@Shaun_Jones 2 жыл бұрын
“Order up! One dragon, fresh-ground and well-done!”
@sarahb.7175 Жыл бұрын
Dragon got a twenty-one wand salute.
@JaelinBezel 11 ай бұрын
As a wise man once said: “if gun not solve problem, just use more gun.”
@FondlesHandles 3 жыл бұрын
Made an artificer. Our rogue was a kleptomaniac, so I made some juicy bait in the firm of a locked safe I always kept near me. Always talked about it, finding ways to bring it up in game, always suspicious. Finally, our rogue got too interested in the contents, and while everyone was sleeping, picked the lock. He found out the hard way that the contents were a spring loaded boxing glove and some indelible paint.
@operatorchakkoty4257 Жыл бұрын
That is GENIUS.
@jellythebard654 Жыл бұрын
I aspire to reach your level of baiting
@FondlesHandles Жыл бұрын
@@jellythebard654 i am a master baiter
@jennamomenna5750 Жыл бұрын
@@FondlesHandlesW
@jessewillason2064 11 ай бұрын
I haven't laughed that hard in a while 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@3onito 4 жыл бұрын
I’ve been seeing a lot of Fullmetal Alchemist references here... I love it.
@AaronCorr 4 жыл бұрын
Bringing you and your pet closer...
@mnarath8376 4 жыл бұрын
I also would love it if not for that horrific Szene in Fullmetal Alchemist BH ..... ahhh i can‘t forget it
@dragonITH-nk3yk 4 жыл бұрын
I haven't really watched FMA but I know enough about it to know that Sho Tucker is a right bastard.
@OmegaGamer04 4 жыл бұрын
@Thatguywiththestuffies KZfaq page. Don't want to spoil anything but he is still a bastard in that one as well.
@Soraking007 4 жыл бұрын
The cannon is a reference to the show as well also the ps2 game
@marcusk.4369 4 жыл бұрын
"The Alchemist can help you grow closer with your pets" TOO. SOON.
@hiddensinix2767 4 жыл бұрын
WAIT HOLY SHIT I JUST GOT THAT
@Supadubya 4 жыл бұрын
Huh?
@francescocastellani8690 4 жыл бұрын
*cries* *in* *chimera*
@KnightofLightfire 4 жыл бұрын
Is it horrible I laughed when he made that joke?
@7evenZee 4 жыл бұрын
No why please
@eric_moore-6126 3 жыл бұрын
Rogue: Steals all of Artificer's Infused Items Artificer: moves all the infusions onto different items, making the originals mundane
@theddexaggerator7884 3 жыл бұрын
Hell yeah
@GrassPokeKing 3 жыл бұрын
Sounds like an excellent scam you can pull together
@sethb3090 2 жыл бұрын
@@GrassPokeKing tbh I've had to resist the urge to sell infused items. It helps that one of my artificer's values is not cheating/stealing from craftsfolk and shops. But also, when you run artificer, confirm with your DM whether you can dismiss infusions like spells, because if you can there are some fun shenanigans you can pull. My character got mugged once and talked his way out of it by just handing over an item, dismissing infusion, and convincing the muggers that anything relevant he had on him would just stop working if they took it. And that doesn't even begin to cover the shenanigans you can pull by dismissing a Bag of Holding while it's full of stuff.
@michaelbanks1000 2 жыл бұрын
@@sethb3090 lol once, I put a bag of holding in another bag of hold next to my cleptomaniac rogue. Then proceeded to push him into the portal that opened up. When the party asked me where the rogue went I told them they went to get some milk from the market.
@UltimusMagus 2 жыл бұрын
@@michaelbanks1000 Then the rogue re-appears from a random portal to say "My Da' disappeared on his way to get some milk, too!" Then disappears again.
@ASquared544 4 жыл бұрын
Rogue: “Hehehe, imma steal from the party” The Alarm, Snare, Glyph of Warding, Animated Objects and Mechanical Companion, Curses, Pitfalls, and Falling rocks set before the Long Rest: “Helo”
@connormcconnell7881 4 жыл бұрын
My artificer who has been at odds with the rouge the whole time and just woke up to him stealing his stuff "dodge that b***h"
@MsXmaster666 3 жыл бұрын
dont forget the gun of the now fully awake artificer. Perry this you frickin casual
@voodooozo3755 3 жыл бұрын
Thats a cute pfp
@RBAWintrow 2 жыл бұрын
You killed him so hard, he died, to death!
@karltheskitarii4941 2 жыл бұрын
Fun tip, use a bag of holding with glyph of warding to own a pocket nuke that the gods fear
@neinherman9989 4 жыл бұрын
"Because keeping track of more than one thing on the board is hard, isn't that right dungeon master?" xD
@josiahtasich6073 4 жыл бұрын
I just love the unimpressed look on the DM's face that he draws. It is by far. The most accurate thing he shows about DnD: that is not to say, that I don't think some of the other things he says or does aren't accurate. But despite that picture of the DM being mainly being used as a satirical material, it is pretty true to life.
@TrojanGamer10 4 жыл бұрын
}: | Edit: Made it a little more accurate
@gothgamergrill 4 жыл бұрын
*Muffled Angry DM sounds*
@Ghostbat007 4 жыл бұрын
I felt that
@archmagetyler 3 жыл бұрын
This is why roll 20 exists.
@erikw.s.5209 4 жыл бұрын
"The alchemist can help you grow close bonds with your pets" You didn't have to do that. You really didn't.
@cdgamer7306 4 жыл бұрын
Erik W. S. Don’t make me remember!!!
@rakisuzuki-burke4148 4 жыл бұрын
My artificer actually takes the Fullmetal Alchemist approach to magic. Sort of. He is an Artillerist, though.
@benrogers9082 4 жыл бұрын
@@rakisuzuki-burke4148 so the kylo ren approach? in last jedi?he sees lasers pounding into a target and he's just like MORE
@placeholdername3521 4 жыл бұрын
Angsty genocidal teen
@bazzfromthebackground3696 4 жыл бұрын
It's never soon enough.
@seangraham3696 3 жыл бұрын
The artillerist artificer looks at the bard with a smile, "Tchaikovsky" he says with a nod. A sinister smile grows on the bards face as he readies his violin. The bard, playing the 1812 Overture casts Otto's Irresistible Dance, and the artificer, with his cannon ready, fires in time with the bard. The party stands stunned, unsure of what they are seeing, but clearly understanding that they shouldn't let those two within twenty feet of each other ever again.
@sethb3090 2 жыл бұрын
Can confirm, bard/artificer pair can drop the sickest of beats
@lupenngrimpaw936 2 жыл бұрын
That good person, is beautiful.
@sarahb.7175 Жыл бұрын
I'm designing an artificer, and I'm screenshotting this for eternity.
@user-ch6zy8hg2q 9 ай бұрын
G U N M U S I C
@caleb688 4 жыл бұрын
Alchemist: I love the smell of Napalm in the morning. Smells like… VICTORY. Artillerist: Hey, look, buddy. I’m an Engineer. Battlesmith: Would you do it for a Scooby Snack?
@jexiagalleta4712 4 жыл бұрын
And that means I solve problems
@demi-femme4821 4 жыл бұрын
@@jexiagalleta4712 Not problems like "What is beauty?", because that would fall under the purview of your conundrums of philosophy.
@dragonarchive7443 4 жыл бұрын
I solve practical problems * takes a sip of beer, heavy dying in the background *
@epsreborn9718 4 жыл бұрын
@@dragonarchive7443 "For instance, how am I gonna stop a big mean mother hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous new behind?" *cut to a turret turning sharply and gunning down someone offscreen*
@simonevans2552 4 жыл бұрын
Armorer: "I will endure a thousand deaths before I yield"
@cardboardbox331 4 жыл бұрын
0:29 “the stat is about as common as your room is for sexy times” Man that hit home
@panda_commanda 4 жыл бұрын
once? twice by now.. I think
@noddarkwolf 4 жыл бұрын
Nope never
@panda_commanda 4 жыл бұрын
Ouch Our Feelings
@johnstarinieri7360 4 жыл бұрын
I feel attacked
@Xtoff 4 жыл бұрын
At least SOMETHING will touch you
@geromlarayos6696 4 жыл бұрын
Every other Spell Oriented class: Daniel Artificer: The cooler Daniel
@danielpascaru5956 4 жыл бұрын
Hello
@argonburnspink1441 4 жыл бұрын
Me: I throw my flask of poison at the Construct DM: It's a construct. It can't be affected by poison Me: Did i mention i imbued it with a corrodant?
@elecstorm3701 4 жыл бұрын
At 0:47 he made Markiplier's Tiny Box Tim
@dannybeane2069 4 жыл бұрын
Hey thanks buddy, I needed that.
@jebengee9326 4 жыл бұрын
aloha
@leffeup8117 2 жыл бұрын
I love the description in tashas cauldron for artillerist. Its something along the lines of: “some artificers ask the real questions, could there be more collateral damage?”
@swampy7116 Жыл бұрын
"Hey look buddy I'm an engineer, that means I solve problems. Not problems like 'what is beauty?' because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems."
@xenocross6597 Жыл бұрын
@@swampy7116 For example: What if some mean mother hubbard is trying to tear me a structurally superflous new behind? The answer? Use a gun.
@manicseacucumbers4194 3 жыл бұрын
Am I allowed to make my artificer’s backstory something like “they were kicked out of magic school and is running from the law due to a certain incident concerning a handheld eldritch cannon”
@AndorRadnai 3 жыл бұрын
Call them Chad Kovsky and you may..!
@JaelinBezel 3 жыл бұрын
Dude I came up with an npc from my character's backstory who is a goblin forge cleric/artificer who, last he heard, was working on a giant cannon with rotating glyphs that is supposed to repeatedly cast Fireball at a rate of twice per second. Needless to say, she is now forbidden from working on her inventions on temple grounds.
@capitantonayan9370 3 жыл бұрын
@@AndorRadnai don't mind me, i'm gonna steal the name for my next artificer
@AndorRadnai 3 жыл бұрын
@@capitantonayan9370 Please do!
@Y0G0FU 2 жыл бұрын
My Artificer Backstory: Wanted to do Magic but somehow it didnt work out. Depressed he someday saw a Machine explode and went thinking: I DO THIS INSTEAD! So now he throws explosives instead of fireballs and buffs his gear ;P
@goldlink567 4 жыл бұрын
"Closer bonds with pets" *Shows Nina and Alexander* Wow, dark. Funny, but dark.
@Potato-yd3hv 4 жыл бұрын
Ed...ward...
@gavinli1368 4 жыл бұрын
Nee... san...
@beruman 4 жыл бұрын
the monster! :o
@magiv4205 4 жыл бұрын
@@Potato-yd3hv NO.
@crodthesorrysap4165 4 жыл бұрын
Tis sad
@DavidTriphon 4 жыл бұрын
1:47 "Can help you grow closer bonds with your pets!" Edward...
@matt-ti8yw 4 жыл бұрын
Edward, Edward... big brother Edward.
@oligb1469 4 жыл бұрын
@@matt-ti8yw NOPE! You just nope
@matt-ti8yw 4 жыл бұрын
@@oligb1469those words and the scene they went with will be forever written in my memory.
@oligb1469 4 жыл бұрын
@@matt-ti8yw Yep and I have no Idea if you will read this cuz the last attempts got deleted
@SairinEarthsea 4 жыл бұрын
I was looking for this comment just so I could cry. ;-;
@BigJubble 4 жыл бұрын
I kinda miss the old artificer before this more official one came out, mostly because I enjoyed having the magical shotgun called a thunder cannon that canonically sounds like the clap of Thor's asscheeks when fired, with roughly the same destructive power.
@finderfinder4290 4 жыл бұрын
Well the ua armorer subclass has thunder canons, so it looks like they arent abandoning all cut features
@SenorFluffy 4 жыл бұрын
I only slightly miss my life before reading this
@stefanusbayu1426 4 жыл бұрын
Read it with techpriest's sounds
@kelmirosue3251 4 жыл бұрын
Kinda sound like Crap Guide. Do you too worship the sword and shield?
@BigJubble 4 жыл бұрын
@@kelmirosue3251 Nah, more of a greatsword/lance kind of guy in MHW.
@Pluveus 2 жыл бұрын
1:20 This makes me want to create a Pixie NPC that buffs the party and starts each buff with "Hey!" "Listen!" and "Watch out!"
@Y0G0FU 2 жыл бұрын
You will die a Horrible Death. Either the DM or the Party will do everything it takes to kill that Pixie ;P
@r.alexandercorbitt1554 Жыл бұрын
Aww!
@DLBookTheGamer 6 ай бұрын
So essentially every pixie in video games ever.
@tenacityxl 4 жыл бұрын
Artificer: the hipster wizard who is apparently really good at robotics.
@davidebombardelli8255 4 жыл бұрын
or the alter ego of the pathfinder alchemist
@LordDragox412 4 жыл бұрын
Artificer is just a mechanic who wasn't told there was magic in DnD.
@paige_404 4 жыл бұрын
@@davidebombardelli8255 Or just... the Artificer from 3.5's Eberron setting
@davidebombardelli8255 4 жыл бұрын
@@paige_404 Is that really old?
@paige_404 4 жыл бұрын
@@davidebombardelli8255 older than Pathfinder's Alchemist
@exohammer1 4 жыл бұрын
Ah, yes, the three artificer subclasses: Alcoholic, Engineer and Log.
@kylenguyen7371 4 жыл бұрын
🎵 Everyone loves a Log! 🎶 - Ren & Stimpy
@aaronwebb1548 4 жыл бұрын
What goes down stairs, alone or in pairs, Runs over your neighbour's dog? It's great for a snack, it fits on your back, It's log log log!
@SerKnightGuy 4 жыл бұрын
Don't forget the new one! The one that talks to rocks.
@facelessidiot6407 4 жыл бұрын
Praise Oreyara I guess?
@zoestrassfield248 4 жыл бұрын
And the one who got cut, 1-800-Psychic-Friends.
@maxmartin274 4 жыл бұрын
I'm gonna make a Bardificer. I have a big gun that plays Flight of the Valkyries every time it shoots
@spindash64 3 жыл бұрын
You better make a magical helicopter to go with it
@Zombiewithabowtie 3 жыл бұрын
I want to use this multiclass with a Warforged and make Big Band from Skullgirls
@gingerinajacket8519 2 жыл бұрын
@@spindash64 Then it would play Fortunate Son, would it not
@warmachine5835 2 жыл бұрын
@@gingerinajacket8519 you haven't seen Apocalypse Now have you? Charlie don't surf.
@mercwiththemouthsnewphone6798 2 жыл бұрын
@@Zombiewithabowtie Yes
@vijayanand6650 3 жыл бұрын
I realized this class officially came out for 5e after JoCat started this series. There aren’t nearly as many stereotypes for this class. Which means JoCat gets to help create those stereotypes.
@dali3839 2 жыл бұрын
Hoarders that distract themselves easily and hyperfixates over things easily. They also collect stuff from the ground...
@Vespuchian 4 жыл бұрын
0:27 Awww, I just noticed everyone's favourite Charisma-casting couple is holding hands. I love these continuity gags.
@maximsavage 4 жыл бұрын
Holy shit, he made it canon!
@justanaverageferret 4 жыл бұрын
@@maximsavage well yes, i believe they got married in the warlock vid. It was a wonderful wedding until the warlock got bored and eldrich- *BLAST*
@maximsavage 4 жыл бұрын
@@justanaverageferret Welp, now I gotta re-watch that video. Can't say I'm mad about it though, it was a good video.
@nevisysbryd7450 4 жыл бұрын
@@maximsavage Nah, he made it cannon. Artificer needs vengeance for that eldritch blast.
@thomasallen9974 4 жыл бұрын
You can try to say no to the Bard only so long and then its a Nat 20 your in that bed half naked
@WingZX1103 4 жыл бұрын
It’s almost an unwritten rule that any subclass that involves a pet has to be better than beast master ranger
@jakkaljakobie8774 4 жыл бұрын
As someone whose played along a beastmaster ranger and a beastmaster Hunter in wow, I can confirm you are correct.
@TheInsider15 4 жыл бұрын
"And suddenly you wake up to the sound of Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture." Someone's a fan of Ratchet and Clank I take it?
@Someone-sq8im 4 жыл бұрын
yES.
@articusramos808 4 жыл бұрын
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT RYNO?!
@robertsilvermyst7325 4 жыл бұрын
Or V for Vendetta
@tomhill3248 4 жыл бұрын
Eh? I love Ratchet and clank but even I don't get that one.
@Alakaizer 4 жыл бұрын
@@tomhill3248 the RYNO V in A Crack in Time played it while you fired it.
@giuseppecapici581 4 жыл бұрын
"Magic Is dumb and stupid and makes no sense" -any demacian soldier
@bthsr7113 4 жыл бұрын
Those guys and gals are mostly paladins and fighters. Artificers are more like Piltover and Zaun.
@beast_pasta2392 3 жыл бұрын
Would that make Noxus barbarians?
@giuseppecapici581 3 жыл бұрын
@@beast_pasta2392 probably, and most ionians should be monks, or at least some of them
@SilentGlaceon94 3 жыл бұрын
@@beast_pasta2392 Eh, Kat and Talon are rouges, Draven's a bard (Gladiator), Darius is a fighter, and Cassie's a mage.
@atocanboi409 3 жыл бұрын
I guess that makes Aurelion Sol the DM
@Kaarl_Mills 4 жыл бұрын
"The stat is as commonly used for spellcasting as your bedroom is used for sexy times" Damn not even Anakin got roasted that hard
@BookWyrmOnAString 4 жыл бұрын
Should I leave the 70th like or leave perfection as it is?
@magmat0585 3 жыл бұрын
harsh, but not inaccurate... :/
@WildDragonSong 3 жыл бұрын
His burns are stronger than *the high ground.*
@rossstone3885 3 жыл бұрын
But the intelligence state IS used... so that means my bedroom eventually will be used for sexy times? Let’s hope
@boserzipfelmann4629 3 жыл бұрын
Technically, TECHNICALLY, not that hard of a roast. There are 4 classes that use INT as a spellcasting ability (Wizards and Artificer, obviously, but also the subclasses Eldritch Knight and Arcane trickster). Besides those, there are 7 other classes using different spellcasting abilities. So, 4 times out of 11 the use of ones bedroom would be sexy time. Since (usually) one uses the bedroom to sleep in, (usually) once per day, that would make 4 instances of sexy time per 7 instances of sleepy time. Getting laid 4 times a week doesnt sound half bad at all, especially considering the other person (or persons) involved in aforementioned sexy time also has a bedroom to be used! Thereby, my point stands, that the poor slave/mommas boy/racing prodigy/jedi-knight/child-murderer you mention got roasted significantly more thoroughly than the dear viewer did. ...except for this one here, since I use my room to watch nerdy DnD-Videos at 1 AM and taking 15 minutes to make a reply to a perfectly funny comment, that did not whatsoever require any smartassing, technical correction.
@jackunova7284 4 жыл бұрын
Quick question: Is Slibs coincidentally the goblin that made friends with the tank mage in the wizard video?
@jackunova7284 4 жыл бұрын
Oh cool! I got a pin. Thanks! EDIT: Holy. I wasn't expecting that comment to get so popular. Thanks for 1.1K, so far, as well as a pin.
@TheGuardDuck 4 жыл бұрын
I guess that's a "yes"?
@tenacityxl 4 жыл бұрын
It is now!
@maximsavage 4 жыл бұрын
Waaaaaar magic-is-like Tank Mage, getting-lots-of Defense, flexing-as-you-cast BLOCKBLOCKBLOCKBLOCKBLOCKBLOCKBLOCK!
@mostlyjoe 4 жыл бұрын
Kobold, but yes.
@little_wintry3098 3 жыл бұрын
"Alchemist can help you grow closer with your pets" me: damn, really? lemme check out that class- *while looking over class details *joke suddenly clicks me: waIT-
@ohno6528 3 жыл бұрын
I dont understand...
@demonminer8093 3 жыл бұрын
@@ohno6528 watch fulmetal alchemist, and you'll get it.
@timwoods2852 3 жыл бұрын
@@ohno6528 Or don't, if you still want a working heart.
@ohno6528 3 жыл бұрын
@@timwoods2852 did they kill the cat
@timwoods2852 3 жыл бұрын
@@ohno6528 It has to do with the girl and the dog he showed on screen.
@nintendocaprimoon63 3 жыл бұрын
The Armorer in TCE is literally just being iron man, it's fantastic
@charlescrews1623 2 жыл бұрын
Dude Ik my dm let me pretty have two active at once I just switch between them and allows me to make modifications
@sethb3090 2 жыл бұрын
@@charlescrews1623 RAW you can change your armor type during a long rest
@stm7810 5 ай бұрын
@@sethb3090 short rest actually only takes 1 hour, it also replaces any missing body parts.
@sethb3090 5 ай бұрын
@@stm7810 seriously? That's so dumb...meanwhile, artillerist has to use a long rest to switch to a different arcane focus
@stm7810 5 ай бұрын
@@sethb3090 I guess changing what you wear is easier than the arcane, please ignore that mechanically speaking it is flat out cyberware.
@cubeofcompanioning 4 жыл бұрын
That... that FMA reference was uncalled for But amazing xD
@DHTheAlaskan 4 жыл бұрын
It was hilarious
@Nephritesword 4 жыл бұрын
YEAH EHKSDEE
@oligb1469 4 жыл бұрын
Good dogie... I just made my self cry...
@chicagobreed502 4 жыл бұрын
This video was so big brain I crafted another sword and shield
@theflaasmomflyr8691 4 жыл бұрын
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
@mavorenborsteel6765 4 жыл бұрын
Artificer: *Pulls out Gun* BEHOLD THE MOST POWERFUL SPELL OF ALL! ARE YOU READY TO MEET GOD?
@NerdyCatCoffeeee 2 жыл бұрын
collateral damage? more like unidentified enemy combatants
@articusramos808 11 ай бұрын
Gunmage: sweet...but what caliber?
@mistwraith8260 3 жыл бұрын
"and can help you grow closer bonds with your pets" Me: *somehow manages to choke on air*
@RedNovaStorm 4 жыл бұрын
1:36 Ah yes, my 3 favourite sub-classes: Alcohol, Gun and Log.
@tkurz3071 4 жыл бұрын
Praise Oreyara!
@JoCat 4 жыл бұрын
anyone curious of I'm doing any other crap guide to dnd videos, my most recent Q&A answers that pretty well
@cardboardbox331 4 жыл бұрын
I was just happy you were still doing it
@cardboardbox331 4 жыл бұрын
AMELIA NOLAN that is... extravageant
@isamuddin1 4 жыл бұрын
Soo...... when the fight with that wizard gonna start?
@Rjthewolf 4 жыл бұрын
@gagamer7251 4 жыл бұрын
I feel like the artilerist is just TF2's demoman on magical steroids
@theimperiumofman102 2 жыл бұрын
There’s a friend in our party who picked artificer and they have the alchemy jug, and they refuse to stop making Mayonnaise with it, it has gotten to the point at which the DM has said they have a lowered charisma because of the pungent smell of several gallons of rancid Mayo.
@stm7810 5 ай бұрын
but they're just making an instrument.
@theimperiumofman102 5 ай бұрын
@@stm7810 I played as a bard and I would not touch that with a 10ft immovable rod
@stm7810 5 ай бұрын
@@theimperiumofman102 funny enough an artificer can become proficent in more instruments than a bard.
@codyriddle1424 3 жыл бұрын
BBEG: “You fools! You have wasted all of your spells trying to damage me, but you have all failed.” Artificer: “BEHOLD: The most powerful spell of all... I CAST BULLET!”
@pathfindersavant3988 4 жыл бұрын
"And help you grow closer with your pets" *[screaming resumes again]*
@haosmagnaingram6992 4 жыл бұрын
Nina has such a perfect bond with her dog Alexander, they’re practically inseparable
@oswaldpowers7776 4 жыл бұрын
what is wrong with you?!?
@FortuneBlackAnimations 4 жыл бұрын
How do you delete someone else’s post
@DavidTriphon 4 жыл бұрын
"We all have our weird urges but seriously get a server room" I am definitely using this phrase with my friends.
@stephenflint3640 4 жыл бұрын
Indeed!,
@DARknight-kp5ef 4 жыл бұрын
I have a programming class, this quote is absolutely perfect
@xenotundra3346 4 жыл бұрын
When you’re playing a beast master and the party paladin befriends a wolf and the DM gives them your entire subclass for free .-.
@joeljokivuori1059 3 жыл бұрын
"Can power up their allies by drinking and gambling" I have found my true class.
@lodoly3368 4 жыл бұрын
Man, we really need a crap guide to Dungeon Master.
@Chatedh 4 жыл бұрын
That's actually an amazing idea!
@chaotk15 4 жыл бұрын
I agree.
@Snivy2ServineVideos 4 жыл бұрын
That’s such a good idea!
@drakinjade2558 4 жыл бұрын
Guys, he's going to make it, just be patient. XD
@AndresFlores-xp4so 4 жыл бұрын
I think that will be the last episode
@TeamOneDay 4 жыл бұрын
"Get a server room" *Underrated joke.*
@highqualitywritinginstrument 3 жыл бұрын
"The artificer can help you grow closer to your pets" Wanna know what percentage of the audience got that 😳
@Jenazad. 4 жыл бұрын
"Tiny Box Tim" long time no see little buddy...
@cassidywoodliff 4 жыл бұрын
Jenazad So happy I’m not the only one who noticed it!
@Harry32581 4 жыл бұрын
Same
@marbles4442 4 жыл бұрын
Yesh
@arlinabloodgrave 4 жыл бұрын
Does this mean that Markiplier is an Artificer if he was a D&D class lol
@ForeverLovePizza 4 жыл бұрын
I figured I wouldn't have been the only person to see that.
@elsquisheeone 4 жыл бұрын
0:27 aww, bard and paladin are holding hands
@abyssdreamer6286 4 жыл бұрын
Too bad the bard can’t keep it in their pants )’:
@Reginald_Ritmo 4 жыл бұрын
No its fine. They were wed in the warlock episode
@abyssdreamer6286 4 жыл бұрын
pixels GamR oh dang yay
@tafua_a 4 жыл бұрын
They're married after all
@Zombiewithabowtie 4 жыл бұрын
@@Reginald_Ritmo The ceremony went almost flawlessly... "I now declare you wed. You may kiss the- *ELDRITCH BLRAAAAP* "
@Zahnpuppy 4 жыл бұрын
"close bonds with their pets" me- dies a lot inside. thanks for reminding me bud.
@haosmagnaingram6992 4 жыл бұрын
Ed... ward
@jordanpritchard5226 4 жыл бұрын
@@haosmagnaingram6992 You are grounded! "So is Hughes." *FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU-!!!*
@bradreed2001 4 жыл бұрын
@@jordanpritchard5226 I just finished that episode ten minutes ago. It almost rained in my house
@danielpage1429 4 жыл бұрын
@@bradreed2001 Its a terrible day for rain.
@danielpage1429 4 жыл бұрын
Always too soon.
@dercarrot991 4 жыл бұрын
0:57 that, that’s just cold Alchemist: “You can get closer to your pets” GOD DAMMIT WHY YOU GOTTA DO THIS
@commandercaptain4664 4 жыл бұрын
This. I feel ya.
@yourfriendlyneighborhoodwa54 4 жыл бұрын
Just be happy that he didn’t have an excuse to bring up Maes.
@michaellyle859 2 жыл бұрын
0:32 “What hit points? I have AC” I felt that one so much. I’m playing an artificer in my group’s current campaign and due to a combination of blur and my enhanced defense shield my DM hasn’t hit me with a single direct attack yet. Only splash damage and puzzle/trap things like flame throwers.
@mongodroid4842 2 жыл бұрын
what is your DM's discord? i want to tell him about something that starts with "Dex Saves"
@holyloli69420 4 жыл бұрын
1:49 _Why you need to take care your dog & daughter when you can combine them and take care of them at the same time_ *Modern problems required modern solutions*
@datalysjr3339 4 жыл бұрын
*hol up*
@michaelmarksman743 4 жыл бұрын
*I’m gonna have to stop you right there*
@Unknown-qj9sm 4 жыл бұрын
Screams in Demikhov
@dappereldritchhorror1908 4 жыл бұрын
**SCREAMS IN ALCHEMIST**
@bug5654 4 жыл бұрын
Fus Ru NO!
@Nap1300 4 жыл бұрын
I just realized Bard is holding hands with Paladin now. Adorable.
@danielf.7151 4 жыл бұрын
OMg I hadn't noticed until you pointed it out. Cute
@Daelyah 4 жыл бұрын
Bard can seduce the pants off of _anyone..._ 😆
@djmccarthy4859 4 жыл бұрын
Where, the Bard is on the other side of the table from the ELF PALADIN
@danielf.7151 4 жыл бұрын
@@djmccarthy4859 They meant at 0:27
@Introbulus 4 жыл бұрын
@@danielf.7151 Thank you.
@simplylaurajane 4 жыл бұрын
"Can help you grow closer with your pets" That was unnecessary and uncalled for, sir.
@samuelparchment1908 4 жыл бұрын
Aw, the Bard and Paladin are holding hands in the group caster shot. That is just adorable.
@travvyyyy8437 4 жыл бұрын
So basically, “I’m not like other wizards”
@jorgecabrera3694 4 жыл бұрын
You see...I'm not the same wizard you face, I'm a super wizard
@thornangel16 4 жыл бұрын
Why be a wizard when you can be Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius.
@kanjigodomo9696 4 жыл бұрын
@@thornangel16 Don't you mean Mud?
@thornangel16 4 жыл бұрын
@@kanjigodomo9696 Yes.
@knightx605 4 жыл бұрын
Arcane Tricksters use Intelligence for their "casting".
@GatsbyMusic 4 жыл бұрын
Artilerist be like: *hey look buddy I'm an engineer*
@enigmaodell6806 4 жыл бұрын
I solve problems. practical problems.
@MissFeatherstone 4 жыл бұрын
Not problems like "What is beauty?" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy.
@irregularassassin6380 4 жыл бұрын
Problems like, 'how am I gonna stop some mean Mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous new behind?'
@katelystt 4 жыл бұрын
the answer is a gun, and if that don't work... use more gun.
@brem- 4 жыл бұрын
Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me.
@IrishSoyBoy 3 жыл бұрын
0:26 The paladin and bard are holding hands. The lore is expanding.
@JohnnyDoeman 4 жыл бұрын
0:10 Well, there's now ProjektMelody and her Science Team. So, this was a pretty accurate guess.
@deltaphant_ 4 жыл бұрын
When you said you'd be taking a break in November I didn't expect a video December 1st, but I am not complaining to ANY extent
@riadirige7804 4 жыл бұрын
"and no im not gonna cover all the new classes. Shut up 'cause I want to take a vacation with my sword and shield already" Classic.
@fifzeppelin 4 жыл бұрын
Really feel like "turn that vibrator into a vibe rater" is the most underrated line of this whole video.
@cinnamondreams 3 жыл бұрын
There's an artificer in a campaign I play. Somehow convinced the dm to give him a gun. Also ran into a burning building to save said gun. Don't forget the creepy robot sidekick that is a bi-pedal bear with human hands. That same bear has also managed to replace a horse, carrying 4 people. Artificer is also a snobby rich kid with his own dm played guard that is 3 levels above te party. The actual person has insane luck and gets several nat 20's every 3 hour session. The dice aren't loaded.
@KingWoop72 4 жыл бұрын
My fave class got the roast it so desperately deserves Thank you JoCrap
@lokiijustwannasleep7865 4 жыл бұрын
SmoothCitrus omg JoCrap. thank you so much XD
@JoCat 4 жыл бұрын
you're welcome
@riccardocastiglioni1611 4 жыл бұрын
"I'm not covering the new subclasses!" Ok, fair.... but what about the Races?
@krvys7226 4 жыл бұрын
He hasn't covered any of the races yet, sooooo.....
@TheOverArchiver 4 жыл бұрын
I believe he said he would, but don’t quote me on that.
@Kai_Mercer 4 жыл бұрын
@@TheOverArchiver "I believe he said he would but dont quote me on that"
@michaelmarksman743 4 жыл бұрын
The king Of flames Nice
@TheOverArchiver 4 жыл бұрын
The king Of flames Ha ha.
@RobSny94 4 жыл бұрын
XD "Oh boy, a +2 dagger" While amongst a horde of items lmao
@rimurutempest4945 4 жыл бұрын
0:27 looks like the Bard finally rolled a high enough Charisma check to get the Paladin
@uniporndev8390 4 жыл бұрын
"And help you have stronger bonds with your pets" Yikes that got dark.
@ThortackNezzerack 4 жыл бұрын
"Edward, why does it hurt?"
@patrickbuckley7259 4 жыл бұрын
It's always too soon to joke about that, it's always too soon.
@dolphinboi-playmonsterranc9668 4 жыл бұрын
"Hey Barbarian, you can use your muscles to lift that thing" Omochao the Artificer
@Renorick1 4 жыл бұрын
"Lift with your legs!" "Straighten your back!" "Widen your stance!"
@KBzaz 4 жыл бұрын
“Hahaha Rangers.” I believe Zito would like to have words.
@flurrieon4901 4 жыл бұрын
0:47 YOOO IS THAT A TINY BOX TIM REFERENCE?
@KanuckStreams 4 жыл бұрын
"Isn't that right, Dungeon Master?" *gasp* JoCat addressed me personally! And yes, it is a PAIN.
@tristanmorrell6269 4 жыл бұрын
“A Crap Guide to D&D [5th Edition] - Dungeon Master” anyone?
@JoCat 4 жыл бұрын
my Q&A answers that
@rubiroman8121 4 жыл бұрын
Why isint the artificers in ny players handbook
@chaoticzer0688 4 жыл бұрын
Rubi Roman It’s a new class that’s not in the PHB I believe it came out in the Guide to Ebberon. Just google the class and you’ll get what you need
@SolrSurfr3 4 жыл бұрын
1:37 Looks like Log’s gone a-wandering again
@jacktjong1266 4 жыл бұрын
I've been playing as an artificer for the past 9 months or so, and I gotta say the official artificer is so much better than the UA they brought out. I got to swap to the official class a few weeks ago since we were all tidying up our characters since they were a huge mess of homebrew and UA, and now I have a little cannon buddy and destructive as fuck spells. Can't wait to have 8 Enhance Ability ready for anyone to use at no cost.
@gingerinajacket8519 2 жыл бұрын
Ten invisibilities, for when you just dont want to be seen for a day, but you want to see everyone.
@luckyisdumb6396 4 жыл бұрын
0:47 Tiny box Tim? I haven't seen you in years jesus
@kchgamer1788 4 жыл бұрын
Lucky isDumb HEY HERE WE GO, I was looking for it
@SolstaceWinters 4 жыл бұрын
Weirdly, I did, in Mark's video today "3 Scary Games: #34".
@luckyisdumb6396 4 жыл бұрын
@@SolstaceWinters I watched that video today after this one and I was started having a crisis. I don't know why my brain just decided to go into crisis mode
@necroarcanistxiii 4 жыл бұрын
Well, Markiplier hasn't really featured Tim in a lot of videos lately, a mascot's gotta make a living somehow. Sad when a creator's fandom jokes start to fade away.
@magnusvaldez3201 4 жыл бұрын
Yaaayyy tiny box Tim cameo
@1098234567 4 жыл бұрын
"Just make sure you lock them up so the rogue doesnt steal them." Let me just say, as a rogue, this is super good advice
@sirpotatoaim4578 4 жыл бұрын
and yes, cannons are instuments
@aquila4460 4 жыл бұрын
I mean yeah, you can loot a lock as well.
@connormcconnell7881 4 жыл бұрын
I make a homebrew rule that I have to give the other person the ability to use them so I don't wake up to 18 12 ovicher
@obsidianbeast6308 4 жыл бұрын
As a guy who plays as artillerist with a kleptomaniac wizard I be more worried about the wizard trying to get their hands on it
@snore178 3 жыл бұрын
YOU STAY THE HECK AWAY FROM MY WING MOUNTED CALTROP DROPPER
@patdav56 4 жыл бұрын
"Get a server room" has to be the best way to say that to a nerd I've ever heard
@thecasual283 3 жыл бұрын
Magic classes: What you gonna do little man? Me: Observe: *Single Handedly Creates and Wins arms race*
@andrewpenn1145 4 жыл бұрын
Well, that just sounds like Dr. Stone with extra steps.
@PaperiLiidokki 4 жыл бұрын
Nice! Well played sir well played indeed
@krvys7226 4 жыл бұрын
It's not extra steps. While senku shows his work, he still skips some of those steps. But yes, it's very much Dr. Stone
@nonamemage6599 4 жыл бұрын
Pretty much
@kayleestout6436 4 жыл бұрын
So, I'm a new DM that specializes in new players, and I always show them your videos before they even get to make their characters. So the first 30 minutes of the creation session is us dying of laughter and some of them actually learning something.
@moodyblues9817 2 жыл бұрын
The 1812 Overture joke was so unexpected but as a music nerd who loves both rogues and artificers I found it way funnier than I think the average person would
@don_donimoes 2 жыл бұрын
Good so I’m not the only one
@yoshidinono8095 3 жыл бұрын
That pic for the "closer bond with pets." That just hurts.
@ThisManIsBored87 4 жыл бұрын
Tiny Box Tim, that’s all I will say.
@declanberkstresser5870 4 жыл бұрын
Finally somewone said something
@renatoafonsomaiacarneiro950 4 жыл бұрын
TY ;)
@fellout2555 4 жыл бұрын
I was,looking for that reference in the comments
@raptormaverick4774 4 жыл бұрын
I was gonna post about it but about time someone else did
@DARknight-kp5ef 4 жыл бұрын
ALL HAIL THE TINY TIM!
@ivyengelharte8821 4 жыл бұрын
"Im going to be dropping the crap guide series" Top 10 lies of all time
@theenigma2861 4 жыл бұрын
This one's helped a lot, I didn't even know what an artificer was before this
@Halo56782 4 жыл бұрын
“Let’s you become closer with your pets” This is the moment I became a heavy Bowgun main
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