It is like that I am two different people. When I am alone using my introverted intuition, I am more defiant with my ideas. However, when I am around people using my Fe, I seek out harmony too much. I hate that about Fe. It is too nice and harmonious.

I had no idea (until learning about the functions of personality types), that introverted people often have a unique charm and charisma to others, and yet they're not always aware of it (extroverted feeling). Even though INFJ's prefer solitude and silence, when we do express our emotions outwardly it comes across as warm and inviting--due to the fact we mean everything we say, and that our sense of self (introverted intuition) is at the forefront of our psyche--which is what people first recognise about us: that we are absolutely pure in the expression of our personalities: we don't fake what we really feel, even if we don't always do a perfect job of expressing our feelings. We don't know how to be anything other than what we are. We are unmouldable...

I like my Fe. however I feel like it can be a bit intense for others when I express it. I'm learning to not apologize for it. I feel so alive when I vomit my Ni/Ti observations through my Fe. I found writing has become a happy medium for me. & I have to admit facebook has helped me practice using it.

extroverted feeling is simply being bold enough to hold up the mirror to every person, extremely powerful.......

yes, I'm manipulative...but not in a bad way

I'm an older INFJ. It is my observation, now, that the primary purpose of my existence here has been to travel full-circle observing, experiencing, processing and BEING back to what I was at age five. My life has turned me inside-out. So maybe that helps a little bit? I don't know. Perhaps it is a beginning to explain. ;)

My ENFJ friend and I talk about this a lot because we get accused of being "fake." (I prefer "multifaceted." lol) Anyway, we get frustrated because Fe is "authentic" and "genuine" for us, our motives and intentions should hold some weight here, and it isn't right to say we're being "fake" when we're being us. What they're really saying when they call us that is that they're not comfortable with someone else not fitting into their version/definition of "authentic." If one really takes the time (and is given the opportunity) to know us, there will be an overarching essence felt which will blur the lines of all the SEEMING inconsistency.

I think Extroverted Feeling (Fe) is the Ying & Yang of cognitive functions, a double-edged sword. Using it allows you to be more adaptive, open-minded, and cooperative with others. But an improper use or too much use of it would result to sacrificing your sense of 'identity' and knowing what you truly want to a certain degree. Using it makes you somewhat nice, but deep inside something is missing. :(

Perhaps we don't like to talk about it because when we start to think how to explain it to others, we can't do so without giving away some of our 'trade secrets'

I don't understand why anyone would not embrace what they are , it is that diversity of personality that makes us so interesting as humans, in my opinion.

I want to reach out because I love people, but only to a point, I want to express myself, then I want to retract and get back to my private place. This was confusing to me for a long time thinking that I was extraverted, but I soon realized, no, I'm not an extravert. Thx you.

This is one of the best INFJ videos out there. Thank you! This really hits home my friend.

Extroverted feelings they are exhausting! You go out of the shell more like a cave where it is nice and cool while outside it is too warm, then you have to look at the world and start fixing all the bad things, it is exhausting. Im making a video about INFJ and slamming door, i'll see how im going with it. take care

Awesome video..I am an INFJ T And I majored in theatre..I have had 7 different careers..flight attendant ..radio personality..school teacher..paralegal..Lol..I always attributed my ability to change rolls to my acting skills..but thanks to your video , I actually understand how I am able to adapt so quickly and play any roll..Thank you..

when I was in school I wonted to be one of the " chosen people" but I was a loner b/c I am an INFJ so I get what your saying

I legit thought I was a crazy for awhile not fun

I am an INFJ, and I hate my auxiliary feeling function. I hate it so much that I avoid people now so I won't have to use it as much anymore. I try to use introverted intuition as much as possible. I like who I am when I am alone and using introverted intuition. I hate who I am when I am talking to people and using my feeling function.

We struggle to bring out our inner self (introverted intuition) that we are quite aware of , we know it most likely will make us unpopular. Let's get real. We need to have harmony in order to function in this world, especially in the workplace for instance. Most people are not ready for the real us...not because we a manipulative or malicious but we are out of the box. Not everyone appreciates the difference. We don't lie but we do sometimes remain silent. Our introverted intuition informs us but our extroverted feeling reigns us in to function in a way that will not completely destroy our goals or ambitions. It's a balancing act for me and it does lead to growth.

You are the extraverted feeling in action, dear Erik, I AM an INFP self and I amuse myself greatly by watching your extremely inspiring, emotionally open and moving video messages. Love it! Much success and a lot of pleasure with your life calling!

Am extroverted when it's natural. I don't like forced interactions.

This doesn’t sound so bad. Like what you have said, Fe actually helps INFJs grow. However, I find that whenever I am embracing Fe, I tend to forget about m my intuition. I get in trouble often because of this. Is it just me or is it a common problem with INFJs?

...as an infj, I would have to say our fe is light years ahead of the rest, which is why we are reserved...

When I use my Fe it can be a glorious feeling, especially when I get through to people. However, I have to channel it at times, because I get rather passionate and it takes people by surprise and sometimes its scares them. lol As the years go by, I do use it more and tone it down a bit, for better results. We INFJs, are complex but its all good. We are the chameleons of all the personalities-types; the true Idealists. We are always looking for harmony and truths for/from everyone and everything. This trait can be overwhelming but we have a gift that we must embrace, accept and cherish and continue to want and hope for a better tomorrow. We should never give up on hope. INFJs are the ones that will conquer evil in this world with awe and shock! Hanging in there INFJs never give up on yourself because we are the rare ones!

Thank you Eric for making these vids! I feel like you've known me my whole life lol I recently discovered I was an INFJ by taking the test online and what you're saying in your vids is blowing my mind right now because it's all so spot on! I had no idea this was even a thing and just felt like a weirdo my whole life with no explanation of why. I'm so introverted and quiet at times but then I can be the opposite and the life of the party. I'm definitely a chameleon, and express different roles at different times. It never really made sense until now why I am the way I am. I'm so grateful for you sharing your knowledge, insight and experience to bring the light and awareness to others about themselves to help them grow, what a gift!! I love watching your vids and love your energy so much.. thanks again! 🤗

Extroverted Fe is where I need to put up more boundaries between myself and others. I think Fe can be used to our benefit if we just allow the observations to enter our awareness as information, but for me what's an issue is that I find myself deferring to or even catering to the whims of others when I shouldn't. Oftentimes those whims are very selfish ones. Before I even realize it, I've already extended myself where I should have rebuked the other person and set a firm boundary, and prioritized MYSELF instead of bending over backward for the other person. This is one of my biggest challenges.

Now i understand everything 😂, thank you so much for saying all of that, i always have wondered why i find attractive to do too many things i mean, i'm a nutritionist (health care), i absolutely love to write and i expect to publish some day my big time novel, also i love astronomy, i love science, i love music, i love arts, animals, children, nature, human pysque, methaphysics, languages, different cultures, geography, history and the list go on... for me was very hard to decide what i wanted to study in the university but now i feel i made a good choice because my job allows me to explore everything i love 💖 Also thank you because now i know extroverted feeling is what causes me to burst into people expresing all i had bottled up, all i have been feeling in months and when that happens people look at me strange and it makes me uncomfortable, but now i know haha yeah no words, thank you, you make my life more easy as an INFJ 👌💖

this is so nice! This kinda made me realize why I used to really change my behavior in high school when I was interacting with different groups and why I like discussions (nice ones) so much.

Thanks. My father is an ISTP and my mother is an ISFJ. I am older and started studying personality type and Jungian psychology in graduate school for counseling. I wasn't able to finish my master's because of severe mental illness. I had several psychotic episodes. I am an INFJ, just not a healthy one.

I agree, that we are extremely caring... however we also can be you worst nightmare depending on the temperament of the Infj. I also agree that we can mimic any other MTBI type, as I can change my personality to (persona) that is one way of manipulation... b4 I ever knew what an Empath was and have strong knowlege now, but I felt cursed my entire life ... spiritual Alchemey is any Empaths best friend as it teaches you to transmute others energies and much much more

It’s not that we are fearful or wish to shy away about being extroverted; but, we often yearn for authentic, organic connections. These interactions are becoming extremely rare in our modern world, as people take less and less time to have conversations and understand one another. I recently ghosted a friend that felt we could build a friendship/relationship after 20 years via text messages and on a video messaging app. To me, that was ridiculous! Both text and videos can be edited. Whatever happened to a phone conversation or a simple trip to spend time with each other? I couldn’t deal with it after a while, and I warned him I was going to “go into hiding” because I felt a disingenuous vibe developing between the two of us. It just didn’t work for me to go without face-to-face, real time interaction. I am outgoing, but I must have a real connection with those I choose to spend time with or be around.

The extravert part of INFJ has been nothing but a blessing in my life. The extravert part of INFJ explains why all I want to do is escape the world; but to this day, the reality has always been that I always find myself in the position of being, "the go to guy", where I could not be more involved with the public. The extraverted experience in all this has been priceless to me. The experience has given me several abilities that have added personal value to my life. However, what I want in life and what I do in life could not be any more opposite. Thankful for all of it.

I can read people very well, and I'm not interested in telling them that I know their intentions.

At 37 after raising a family [I started young] I went to LVN school. That was when I started learning to cut down on feeling others feelings. You have to so as not to share the patient's pain. And this gets you out of your hermit like safe space. And you also learn to hold a lot of people at arms length to not feel their emotional pain . I have been many things in my life: waitress, store clerk, surveyor's helper, Roustabout in the oil field, wife, mother, CNA, LVN, and getting out there in the world has always been hard. I'm retired now and spend whole weekends in my PJ's and am never lonely or bored. Yes I can function quit well out in the world . Now it's down to " Do I want to get out in the world?" There are so many unkind people out there. But just as many kind ones. But the unkind ones will ruin my day. And as life peters out I want only good days. So, I stay at home. Oh, I took the test and came out a INF P-T. This is pretty darn close to what is described as an INFJ. Tell me the difference so I'll know for sure.

Wish you would discuss when an INFJ has a genuine spiritual deep experience that borders on the miraculous that leads to an extroverted ecstasy.

Thank for sharing - this is SO true in my experience - have gone as far as denying it but KNOW today that Fe runs hugely within/without me.

Ahhh. We are just so hard to understand! I think only INFJ can understand another INFJ.

Erik I am late to your party. I am fascinated by your insightful articulated knowledge regarding INFJ personality nuances. You describe my views on the Chameleon extrovert capabilities of INFJ types. If you try to describe this attribute to most people you will mostly be met with derision and accusation of self grandeur. But it is a truth for some of us that is only really confirmed by meeting others! My son and I are reflections of each other. Through our discussions we have created a self knowledge baseline for his future life negotiations. Fantastic stuff Erik!

I love this it totally explains my desire to be many things. It explains how I can act one way with one person and different with another. I get overwhelmed at all I want to be and do that I don't even start or choose something easier.

SOOOOOO inspirational for me to be myself and be okay with that, you said all the things that need to be said all the things that the world will never say to me because the world cannot relate to me and that's just so sad .... hard being an INFJ when nobody around you knows about that feels kind of isolating but it's great to know that there's other people like me

Before finding @ErikThor’s videos, I have been struggling so much trying to figure this out about myself. The only time I heard of this way of identifying personality types was in a classroom. I loved it at the time, and thinking back, I no doubt needed far more time to be able to truly decide which type I was, I couldn’t decide if I was an INFJ or was I really more extroverted at my core. This video along with. A few others that I’ve seen of his have really broken everything down for me and made it so much clearer that I am an INFJ that didn’t know it, that has “gone bad” that has several of the subtypes, and “Gillian” characteristics I deal(t) with and have had incredible internal conflict caused by not having identified who I truly was, what my true personality type was. Not having a grasp of my personality type has caused me to be almost in a state of mental, spiritual, and ethical, paralysis. I often deal(t) with personal contradictions and self-doubt. It would take me a book to describe how this has truly affected me. At the same time, I don’t know y’all like that. LOL! I don’t know if you truly grasp how powerful and impactful the work of not only the experts, psychologists, philosophers, scientists etc... have done before you, but also the work that you yourself are doing. You are taking a very vast understanding of knowledge you have developed and research you have done, you have clearly given all of the info you have attained serious contemplation and thought, and you have made it your own. You have made it your own, and you have also explained it in terms that are very relevant today. Which makes hearing about this subject from you in particular is special. I wish you the best bro, and I really think you have caused the spark in me and so many other people, and will continue to do so even after you are alive. I am going to continue educating myself about this subject, and be able to “fix” myself or balance myself and get back on track in life and be a productive member of society again. Someone that has more defined goals and aspirations in his life with more direction. Someone that has a better understanding about himself, and is able to make better, more sound decisions with purpose. I will be the man that I so desperately now I can be and better yet, that I am. I will be a man that feels great about himself again. I will be a man that his family feels great about again. I have zero doubt that the lack of this understanding off myself has been the number one thing that had been plaguing me. Thank you for doing this work bro. Keep it up.

I can be the most charming person alive, and could easily shift the mood/atmosphere in either direction. Yes we absorb the nuances that people give out but we then use our Fe to use it as an advantage, to become a chameleon, to become exactly what the other person or group of people want or would benefit from. Fe is manipulative but not necessarily in a vindictive negative way, I think it really allows an infj to feel more confident around people and to reallyconnect with other people. Just have to make sure your personal core and values stay lit in order to not lose yourself in the multitude of emotions we can feel and use

Tiny Yellow Tree, Thanks for telling me about Stellar Maze. It is good to know that we can make use of Fe in other ways other than interacting with people. I have not always been a hermit. When I was younger, I actually had a job in sales. I didn't like trying to make myself be extroverted though. I have always just wanted to sit quietly somewhere with a book. Thanks again

Wow. that explains why Ive been hatin on my communication method. I was wonderin why I always use humor constantly to open up conversation but now I get it. Thanks for the explanation... I still hate it because it feels shallow and doesnt do well for conversation progression imo but i can learn to accept it now that I know what it is.

When I took the mbti I thought for sure I'd come up as an into but to my surprise I came up as an infj. I immediately took this as evidence that the whole thing was stupid and given that I look at labels, especially of myself, with disdain I wrote the whole thing off as stupid. But the more i thought about it and studied how these functions manifest I was forced to admit that yes I have a sentimental sensitive side that comes out only when I'm alone or with very close friends. The key though is understanding that whereas introverted intuition comes naturally, extroverted feeling is something I had to work on as a developmental process. I had already done this throughout my life starting in college. I remember asking myself in college, ' who are you to look down on people you find yourself surrounded by". I was forced to conclude that everyone has worth and experiences that others can learn from. It wasn't long before I went from stuck up and projecting negativity to social, hospitable, listener/counseler. I would get irritated when I heard others criticize themselves and offer different ways of looking at things to show any and everybody their potential. And I am still slowly developing this trait. It takes effort but can be very rewarding as now I work in the mental health field. It was my introverted judging function that needed to shut up and take a back seat.

I'm a mature INFJ and I'm glad to hear someone talking about this. You're absolutely right. We just have to embrace that side of us and you'll be surprised, you might even be good at it. All about growth 🙂

Thx my friend, this is clearing up a lot. It troubled me to accept An introvert only, theory ... I believe An infj can choose, thank for bringing up the role playing. In the Netherlands they want to label it somewhere on the autism spectrum... Your video gave me a few aaah yes moments... Love bARbARA

Very cool info as always!!!

My Fe is in conjunction with my internal locus of control, meaning I generally "sense" the emotions of my extroverted environment but I rarely absorb it because my personal mature boundaries are mostly blocking out the feelings before it comes inside my boundary... how else would a counselor function if their feelings are constantly being usurped by others? It's intellectualizing and analyzing extroverted feelings with my INFJ function. However, if I'm in a proximity of a toxic person, my Fe can sometimes notice the drain in the environment subconsciously.

I'm grateful for Fe. It's how we relate to the outside world. Because of it we naturally care how what we do effects others. Having it as our auxiliary function makes it easy to manage so that it's neither too weak nor too strong. It can be a blessing rather than a curse.

We have many different facets to our personality. When we interact with someone, we allow the part of ourselves that is most similar to that person to resonate and rise to the surface. It is not about being fake at all.

IMO our Fe can be overbearing for others. At least in my experience, I think that's why I rarely bring it up to people. I'm a singer-songwriter, so I'm very open and in touch with my feelings. I guess that's why I'm able to be a social chameleon and make a lot of connections. Of course, I am an introvert, but I do like to get out and socialize from time to time.

Thank you for tackling the issue. We need to talk about the “dark side” in order to make infj resolve the strange feeling of being naive monsters !

Do both Infjs and Infps have the same empathy level? That is something I ask myself since a long time. I am an infp. I even empathize with film characters

Bruh...(my facial expressions while watching your videos for the first time.) 😧🤔😲🤩🤨🙃😐🤪🤯🤤😏😌😎😁

This video helps. Thank you.

Ooo. I do that empath thing and changed careers because of it. I didn’t know it had a name until this year.

Taken three tests now. I'm getting INFJ-T, the percentages change a little but they seem to all balance out over the different tests. The T seems to mean turbulent. That cannot be good.

We dont talk about it. We show it just how you are doing

Well, that's because a lot of us don't use it except to make others happier or more comfortable, so at least I want others not to be utterly creeped by how I could if I wanted to befriend them, make them think I'm their best friend, and then crush them if they set one foot out of line. Because I would never do that, because I care too deeply about anyone I care to put that kind of effort into.

Awesome vid..!!.✌🏽i believe it's a great trate we posses. It can be used to help others in need and even yourself depending on the situation at hand . 1♈️🌍☀️💜

Thank you !!

Thanks for the great video! I'm used to talking to men with the Fi/Te axis, and lately I've been talking to someone with the opposite axis of the judging functions. An INFJ, I believe. I'm not used to guys with Fe, so I'm not gonna lie: it throws me off a little. Just a little. Like, he's so sugary sweet with his social media posts, or he'll be "sweet" with me, for sure, occasionally. For one example, he called me dear one time (which was somehow absolutely cute and pleasant, and I don't know how. If any other 6 foot + guy that looks like a jock dudebro than him would call me that, it'd feel gross and fake. Preeeetty sure that's just because I like him, though.) In general, sweet stuff aside, just in general - his whole self, I just feel what I think is Fe. Really only because I feel little to no Te vibes at all. But yeah, I tend to be wary of people that (*seem to*) wear their heart on their sleeve, express feelings swiftly, etc... whatever you call it. See because a lot of men know that exposing feelings / exposing a small past wound will draw women in, like a vulture to a deceased animal, and *will* use this ability to manipulate and move, if they can. I have, however, been told by allegedly private people that it's relatively "not-painful" or "awkward," for them to open up to me. And, I realize INFJs have this thing about liking to be understood, and if you're a safe place, and they feel that, that could be why he wants to express, and thus maybe expressing to me is a special, or significant, time to him. I digress, however: for, time will tell. He'll let me know. Maybe I'm describing Fe in a wrong way and I'm totally feeding into stereotypes, --- I'm not trying to. Maybe what I'm understanding from this individual here isn't even Fe. I'm really just trying to learn about and understand Fe, since I'm not exposed to it very much, it's not in my conscious functions. I'm just getting to know what Fe *really* is -- so it's not like I'm forming any final conclusions with the thoughts I have now. Again, thanks!

so true thanks for sharing

Very nice... thank you

I just don’t like crying. Let that come out in my feet when I run. I do prefer to joke when things get too sad.

WOOOAAAAHHHHH!! I'M AN INFJ AND THIS WAS POSTED ON MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!! IF THAT'S NOT A SIGN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lol

My FE can be really dark at times. I often confuse it with having a huge ego(I guess this happens when I sense that someone has a huge ego and they’re trying to one up me.)… Like I don’t realize what I’m doing until after the fact. My word play & words are taken out of context to the point where I feel like everyone analyzes every word I say. It’s confusing.

You make good points. You are right about Fe. I still don't like using it when I am interacting with people. I would rather be alone using my dominant intuitive function.

Spot on.

What are your thoughts about shadow Fi in INFJs?

My Fe has been useful in meeting all the challenges i have set for myself. I would not have the decent friends i have now without it. My circumstances would be quite different had i not been able to switch it on and off. It is a useful tool in my arsenal.

I want to stay inside my shell.... thought I'm a damn curious person... and want to connect to people.... and yeah curiousity is killing the cat inside me😢💔

Is it possible to develop my tertiary thinking function to become more like a thinking type if I continue to avoid using Fe?

Ni will always determine what your Fe does. The deeply symbolic, abstract and personal perceptions can mimic Fi when aired with Fe. Ni sees through the bullshit, the veil and therefore I believe many INFJs pull back from Fe stereotypes which to Ni seem somewhat false. Fe is greatly misunderstood in the INFJ and i greatly agree with many of your points in regard to Fe.

Hi, Erik, I'm an INFJ...but I'm curious..what is your career?

yeah true it makes to multi talented as infj

Took the test twice I got infj

Yes, two different people.

I hate my extroverted feeling: i give in peer preaseure, i choos e my reputation that others think of me over God, i never can do wjat i want to do cause im so manipulated by thr feelings a nd perspectives of others, i hate it

I would love to have you on my channel if you are up for it? I've been figuring this INFJ / Enneagram 4w3 stuff out lately and it offers a ton of insight. Let me know if you're interested matey!

We can be actors because as social chameleons we can can take on various personalities and youll never be non the wiser you might even claim we are terrible liars hahaha and we let it slide because its our dirty little secret..... now i know this can sound evil to non infj's but trust me we mean no harm. We are light hearted so dont worry. You are in good hands with an an infj :)... we do have evil thoughts i admit because of all the thinking we do. We think so much! About everything and i mean everything therefore evil thoughts slip in there but we are incapable of carrying them out. Now to get deeper into it; the main reason the real main reason that its our secret and we dont want to talk about it its because we are afraif of not being trusted. If they know you can act they are always going to be questioning wether you are being real or not. But for us every time we act is in very light situations where we know we dont mean any harm but sometimes we do harm the other person we hur their feelings because we know what sets them off. We always regret because we end up hurting too. And always for a very dumb reason. So yea we rather be seen as bad liars than seen as liars. But please understand we dont lie like you think. We are honest to everything we believe in. If im talking to you about something i believe you bet your ass everything im telling you is the truth and nothing but the truth.

some say this is a good tune Infinity - Guru josh Project

Zooobbb gurrrdy hudy heary heary einie grasskilipper

I understand what abilities I possess because of Fe, but how I see the world and its path forward, I don’t think that Fe is useful, in fact I wish I had some other more useful function. Ni-Ti loop combined with Fe seems very useless. I’m not fishing for a pick me up from depression, this is my honest perspective.

Are we logical? do we use logic, what is that? take care

I feel like I'm the only male that loves my Fe

I think it's interesting but it's not Fashionating.

As an INFJ , I have no clue what the ..... you are talking about. Being forced to participate in society is not the same as being extroverted . Pfffff

No, it doesn't sound like Fi at all. It sounds like the textbook definition of Fe. I know being an INTP I don't understand Fi because it's my 8th function. So you can discard this and have merit to do so. But, you would discard it even if I was a dominant Fi user because discarding others is what Fi is. Fi is selfishness. Or another possibility is if I was a Fi dominant I would never ever criticize myself about other people's feelings because I'm so self-absorbed it's not even a possibility. I will clarify by saying Fi Dominant so Fi is in the first slot of your cognitive functions, If you have Fi second, you're still selfish but you can at least see when you're being selfish and you're somewhat aware of others emotions but it is your preference to be selfish. Please, someone, prove me wrong I would really like to be wrong about this because if I'm not this means the majority of the people in this world are selfish and inconsiderate.