As a Welshman living in Wales where Welsh is a minority language, (I'm trying to learn it now!), I have heard English people, and sometimes non-Welsh speaking Welsh people saying " They speak Welsh because they're rude, and know we don't understand them". This even happens in Welsh-speaking areas. To muddy the waters sometimes it is Welsh speakers being rude, but I think you're right, there is a greater sensitivity among, especially only English speaking British people, to people speaking other languages in Britain! Rudeness is a different question. I have met rude local people in Italy, Greece, Spain, Croatia, Tunisia, and a number of other countries. Fortunately, these people are a minority!!

My favorite story on this: Brown lady was on phone at an Arizona grocery store at checkout line. Behind her was an older white guy. After she had hung up on her call, he said to her, very slowly, "Ma'am, you're now in American, you're not in Mexico, you need to speak English." Her snswer: "I was on the phone with my mom. We are from here. She speaks only Navajo. If you want to hear English, go back to England!"

The anglophones that tell people to "speak English!" even when they are not part of the conversation, they want to be able to understand so that they can eavesdrop. Not friends, just strangers. They resent that people are able to use "code" and speak privately, right in the open. They might even assume that the people speaking the other language are talking about them, especially if the foreign-language speakers start laughing.

In Brazil, which is largely monolingual, we don't care if someone speaks another language, some people may get irritated by someone speaking Spanish, but it's not because of the language itself, it's because of the perception of a stereotype we have of north americans thinking we speak spanish , but if it's your mother tongue, and you don't keep exchanging it with english, for those who don't understand, there won't be a problem, and in general, well-spoken and slow Spanish is extremely easy to understand even for those who have never had contact with it.

That's one of my least favorite things someone can say. I think it happens in English-speaking countries because, as you said, English is spoken just about everywhere. As a result, native speakers don't often learn another language, especially not at a high level, so it likely feels more alien than it would to someone who knows a couple languages, just not the one they're hearing. I also have an anecdote. At my job, there are people from all over the world, and I have heard Hmong, Somali, Arabic, Spanish, Filipino, French, Vietnamese, and more there. One day, we had a meeting. Part of that meeting included the supervisor reminding us to speak English at work because they had gotten multiple complaints along the lines of, "Those women are talking in (insert language) and they know I don't speak it, but I can tell they're talking about me." I think that's the mindset of the grumpy anglophones you mentioned.

The whole “speak English!” brigade is one of the most embarrassing things about being a native English speaker. However, it gets worse: On a holiday to Tenerife one summer, there was this drunk English yobo, football-hooligan type, who kept shouting out across the bar area asking people where they were from. When one poor woman, who was obviously trying to avoid him, answered back “Germany”, he shouted out “Heil Hitler!” and then did a full Nazi salute. This was in, like, 2015. There is worse out there than the “speak English” brigade, unfortunately.

The example of the two French guys who started speaking French in the English guys home after he invited them for dinner I think was quite rude of them. The guy didn't handle it in the best way, but I think in the end he was right to be offended. Especially since both of the frenchmen know English. But when people are in public I couldn't care less what language they are speaking to each other.

I lived in a town where the border between Uruguay and Brazil went through the middle of the town. And it's also one of those imaginary lines. The only way to know on which side you are on is to look at a not so big stone pillar called marco (marker) and base your current position on which side of the thing you were on. Anyway, the point is: 99% of the people who were born and raised there spoke Spanish and Portuguese since birth and even though me and my friends lived on the Spanish speaking side of the town, we used Portuguese way more often than Spanish to communicate. But every now and then we would speak to each other in Portuguese during class and the teacher kept pestering us to speak in Spanish. I don't know if it was a case where she doesn't understand Portuguese or if it was because we were on the Spanish speaking side of the town.

I'm Canadian of Romanian origin. Both English and Romanian are my first language. I can say that when speaking Romanian in Canada, I have never had the experience of anyone intervening to tell me that I have to speak English (or French). Oddly enough, it was in Spain where I had the experience you are describing. I was on a ferry to Ibiza, and I was just speaking in English with my friends when I overheard the two "gentlemen" next to us rudely talking about us in Spanish (I also speak Spanish). I kindly asked them if "there was a problem" and one of them proceeded to tell me that "we are in Spain, we speak Spanish here, not English".

There is a phenomenon that I would call "linguistic neocolonialism" that you might want to comment upon. Because of the huge number of tourist speaking the language, there are some areas in the Balearic Islands where German is more widespread than Spanish or Catalan. I happened to visit Mallorca with my partner and we experienced two very upsetting situations: 1. A restaurant providing a German only menu. 2. People addressing us in German in the parking lot of a hotel. In the latter case, it wasn't in an apologetic "I only speak German" kind of way, but rather in a "Here you're supposed to understand my language" attitude. As for the former, probably the food wasn't something we would have eaten anyway, but still...

It happens on most of Europe, even in Italy. So it happened in Brazil. It depends on how paranoid or suffering of low self steem is the other person.

I've met several Germans that's been uptight in that way, for example at a cash registry at the train station in Düsseldorf I think it was, I spoke english to the cashier who didn't understand it very well, we managed to communicate anyway, but the lady behind me told me in English that I'm in Germany now and should learn to speak German. I answered her that I was a tourist and that none of the German tourists I had met at home in Sweden had learned Swedish before they traveled there, to which she changed her tone and said something like "Oh you're from Sweden! That's such a lovely country!". Other times I've been told in German that I'm not in England now so I shouldn't speak English to them. Later on I learned German, but those kinds of responses wasn't very inspiring.

I am so glad you brought this topic up - it's quite sensitive, but also complex and interesting! I couldn't agree more with your view on the difference between each situation and the potential explanation. May I add, I think there is another factor in play here: tone and volume of the conversation in a foreign language. In the UK, I've definitely noticed how Spanish speakers do sound extremely loud, especially in public transport (I am Spanish myself, lived in the UK for some years). Even I got annoyed sometimes by someone elses' conversations in Spanish, because that was certainly the only thing I could hear 😂 Could that impact the sensitivity of native English speakers? I personally think so, but it'd be interesting to see what others think as well

Three thoughts immediately hit me. 1) In a retail sales situation I spoke a few words of my very small Japanese vocabulary to a Japanese couple who had a very limited English vocabulary. I said something like "O-kut-e-ma-se" or "understand?" They were surprised and didn't like it at all. A few days later I repeated the incident to my Japanese-American friend who told me a that I had invaded their privacy by speaking Japanese words. 2) Your dinner table companions were French. French and English people equals oil and water, sometimes. 3) As an American if immigrants try to blend in, which is what America is supposed to be all about; we welcome them. We love to hear about their country but don't want to hear any hint about how superior they think their country is. Maybe we're just paranoid? Love this episode! It's enlightening.

I am an Italian language student at university, and I am currently studying for an exam in English linguistics, and I found your video extremely useful and interesting, as well as delving into topics that I already knew. Keep it up! Your work is great!

I usually see this in the United States, you're right. Except my German town where German is spoken as much as English is. I do have an embarrassing story of being scolded by a nice older lady in Hokkaido, though. My American friends and Canadian friends were going on vacation to tent on a beach in Hokkaido. We decided to stop at an indoor shopping center before getting on the train. Out of the 10 of us, myself and my Canadian friend knew Japanese (we translated and interpretation for the military). So, we were bantering back and forth in Japanese. Just picking on each other. I said something that I found out that day is offensive to people in Hokkaido (though it was used by young adults a lot down in Kyoto). This woman turned around to tell me not to say that again. I immediately started to apologize. I felt like my mother was scolding me suddenly. 😂 She came up short and asked, "Are you from Tokyo?" I said I was, and I am so sorry that I didn't know that was offensive. She looked at all of us and this time, "Are you all Americans?" Yes. "Oh! You didn't know. Just that isn't something we say here. Don't say it again." My Canadian friend understood the whole conversation and told the rest of the group what just happened. They teased me all the way to the beach that I am still a child that needs to be punished. 😂 I felt so bad. But, almost 20 years later, and I remember it. She didn't tell me to speak Japanese in her country. I was scolded for using a phrase I didn't know was offensive in a part of the country. She could see I am obviously white, but was confused by my Japanese accent I think. I am working hard on my languages to become a parenting coach for immigrants to the United States. To help them with the culture shock and difference in parenting laws from their countries. I have been to other countries, and so happy to be able to speak their language. But, I always had a rag tag little group of Americans follow me around so that I could help them with the languages. I worked with the military since we don't expect our higher rank officers to learn the language they are stationed at. I think it is silly that we have these great language schools, but we don't expect our military officers to take training in them. Even orientation in Japan (which I took the one day Japanese class they forced everyone to take when we land) was very much comical. One day. Maybe 4 hours. And then let these Americans go with, "But the Japanese all know English because it's required of them. So, don't worry if you can't remember any of what we just taught you." Uh, what!? But we expect them to know English even on vacation to our country! And our country doesn't even have a national language! When I am talking with my kids in other languages, I am waiting for a Karen to show up and start screaming at us to speak English in America. I grew up in a French and German house, went to church in Latin, school in English and Spanish, took three years of Japanese, joined the military to translate/speak Japanese, Indonesian, and Mandarin, spent 4 years overseas with friends on my ship teaching me Tagalog... just to have some lady yell at me to speak English in a nation that doesn't have a national language? 😂

Great video! In those situations, I like to remain aware of present company, but I'm also tolerant of people having a conversation in a language I can't understand. The worst time for me was when studying in Paris. We were a group of seven students on the same course: five Dutch, a Portuguese, and me, a Brit. When the five Dutch spoke Dutch to each other, the Portuguese and I felt excluded. I wondered whether to attempt French rather than ask everyone to speak English. In the end, I bonded with the Portuguese over the fact that we were being excluded.

The first story you mentioned, I understand that as rude. Sure. But, the second story... It seems little bit like a sort of entitlement. Like. People speaking different languages always come here. And talk to each other and even to the locals (even if the locals don't understand them) in their native language. And no one gets ever offended, so I that's why I see it as an entitlement with the second story. I will use my native language for as long as I wish, as long as americans (I've met at least 3 groups just this summer!) will use English to communicate here, among each other of course, talking with locals you should try to use their language.

In Esperantist contexts excluding someone being part of the conversation by talking in your own language with someone else has a specific name: "krokodili" (literally: to crocodile) But as you say it always depend on the context.

This is the rule of thumb that I was taught by my German "Host Nation" teacher. This was at a US Army elementary school in Germany. Frau Horn taught us that if we actually knew the host language we should use it except in cases where the person we were speaking to did not or in cases where it is appropriate to have a private conversation. So if you are with a group of German friends, speak German. If you are speaking to another person on a bus or in any place where you would not expect someone else to join the conversation,you may speak in whatever language is most convenient. However, as a host, if you invite someone who only speaks French into your group of German speakers and all members of the group speak French, use French. If it is not possible for everyone to speak French, then one person should act as a translator. Frau Horn taught us that you should always make conversations as easy as possible for all members of the group. No one should be made to feel that the other members of the group are talking about them. I think Frau Horn would lose her mind if she heard the girls in nail salons rattling on and on to each other in their mother tongue making their customers feek paranoid.

As a native anglophone for me attempting language learning has always been more of a hobby than a necessity.

Thank You very much for the new video ! 😊 😇👍🏻

I got a story about that topic. I have a friend who's working in tourism in Santorini. What he describes as "the worst tourists to deal with" are the Italians. Particularly Northern Italians. Mind you this guy knows fluent Italian,cause he's Greek-Italian. He tells me that when Italians,usually northerners,come to Santorini,they just expect the employees to know Italian and always are super snobbish and kind of disappointed if they don't. They always try to speak Italian first with every employee and then diss him or complain in Italian when the employee tells them to speak English cause he doesn't know Italian. They're also pretty embarrassed when my friend answers in Italian,asking them if they speak Greek there. Personally I have only ever visited Southern Italy,and people there were really nice and welcoming,and they usually liked it when they realized I was speaking Greek with my friends. After all we and southern Italians are cousins and I heard una fazza una razza many times there😄 But then I just don't understand why the two experiences are so dramatically different

Something I’ve noticed is an anglophone learning another language is usually learning it out of passion, not necessity. But, English learners tend to feel forced to learn English, so there’s a kind of disdain. I think English is a super beautiful language. A lot of people think it’s simple since they’ve only learned international English

As an American on a public bus I would reply on the bus. This is America and I’ll speak whatever I want.

I haven’t heard of that happening except in English speaking countries. I think like you said it’s due to the combination of English being a lingua franca and monolinguals not understanding how difficult it is to speak a foreign language at all times. I’ve had a couple experiences with this. When I visited Germany and I was a guest the Germans used almost all English even among each other to make sure I felt part of the group. I really appreciated this. I was actually learning German at the time but I only understood German when they slowed for me. When I was in Japan I spent time with many non Japanese and Japanese people alike. Again, I was trying my best to learn Japanese but I only understood Japanese when they slowed down to accommodate me. The groups included people from a variety of backgrounds and a variety of English levels. ALL of the non Japanese spoke English as much as posible in order to include everyone in the group. But not the Japanese people. They only spoke English when talking to the gaijin and they spoke Japanese with each other. Group culture is supposed to be a thing in Japan and when there’s a party often there’s one big group conversation so you think including everyone in the conversation would be something they would strive to do. But apparently not at least according to my experience. I’m American and I think on occasion I may have heard native English speakers telling non native English speakers they need to speak English but only a handful of times in my lifetime. More often though they’ll quietly complain about people who aren’t speaking English at a social gathering but it seems like they could be. Not so the people can hear though.

this take about including social aspect of language learning in language-educational programes is lit❤ totally agree

Very interesting aspect, thanks a lot, Metatron!

Something similar also happens with brazilians in Portugal.. People there get bothered when we speak brazilian portuguese in Portugal.. it's bizarre..

You raise a good point Metatron. In my opinion, a great deal of Grace is required when dealing with Social interaction in general. Whether the issue be Language or Social Norms, the foreigner really needs to be somewhat appraised of local customs and words of courtesy. At the same time Locals really should cut the foreigner a bit of slack. If needed, suggestions rate better than commands.

Well put!

I’m American, and I joyfully celebrate diversity, including diversity of language. My thought is- Don’t use language to exclude people who are within your group, that can be hurtful and is probably rude. However, don’t worry what anyone else **outside** of your group thinks. Speak freely and joyfully in your language wherever you are, I support you! Since I’m American, I’m just dying for some ignorant American Karen to tell me “We’re in America, speak English!” while I’m speaking a language that is indigenous to this land. I dare them! 😂

Te comento mi experiencia, soy un argentino viviendo y trabajando en Portugal, comparto trabajo con portugueses, brasileros y 4 nepalies, los nepalies no hablan una palabra de portugues y entre ellos obviamente hablan nepali, nunca ningun portugues les dijo "aca en Portugal se habla portugues "

My daughter had somewhat the opposite problem while the was at university (in the US). Several of her housemates were from Germany and my daughter had studied German for 4 years in high school. But when ever she tried to have a conversation with them in German they always responded in English and wouldn't speak German with her. I have heard that Germans who speak English are proud of their skills (most Germans I've met speak excellent English) and don't like to hear their native language spoken badly.

Yes, this social linguistic problem can be solved easily by a class that deals with these social, ethical, moral issues. The material could also be incorporated into existing classes to good effect. When you are learning a language it's like when you're buying a house, you are asking to be accepted into that neighborhood's community. Social acuity, like most sensitivity, is an important intelligence factor that is sharpened generally by acquiring languages.

Hear, hear! I completely agree with you. It’s perfectly fine if you speak your own language (that is different from the dominant language in the area you’re visiting) in public with someone who speaks the same language without interacting with the people around you, but not so much when you are visiting someone at their house and then you start talking your own language if your hosts don’t understand it (unless you experience communication problems when speaking this second language to your compatriot - or someone else whose language you have in common). I remember when I just started my university studies in a city in another region of my country (the Netherlands) than where I grew up. It attracted substantial numbers of students from the south of the country (the province of Limburg) where dialects are spoken that have other historical origins than standard Dutch. Although there is no standardisation among those dialects, they are generally considered to constitute a minority language. Some of these students had a habit of talking in their dialect during breaks, even when there were fellow students, like me, around who had a hard time understanding them at all. I’ve always found that rather rude, but then, even if they spoke standard Dutch with their regional accent it was not always easy to understand them. I sometimes see an excerpt from a local newspaper circulating on the internet where people on a bus complain that a dark-skinned mother spoke a “foreign” language to her child and was told off for doing so. She should have spoken English. Then someone else came to their rescue, saying that they were in Wales and this mother was actually speaking Welsh. Now this may been an urban legend, or the fellow passenger could have defended her while she actually spoke another language than Welsh, but I found it highly demonstrative of the double standard that many monolingual English speakers apply. And yes, I also agree with you that being a (native) English speaker can be both a blessing and a curse, and that learning to speak a foreign language well takes a lot of time and effort.

Long time Anglophone country resident (UK and US) here - I'm a native Mandarin speaker who also learnt several other Chinese languages (Wu, Hakka, Hokkien, Cantonese), Greek and Spanish. My principle is: if you can speak something other than English then we speak that other thing. Switching to English just for Anglophones is ludicrous to me - I have every right to speak any language. If I wanna engage with you I'll use English; if I don't I'll just stay in Chinese. In Greece I try my best to speak Greek even though I'm still at the intermediate level - I managed to buy a computer in Greece using my broken Greek instead of English! If English weren't the lingua franca, I wouldn't even choose to learn it. Simple as that.

From my point of view, being an immigrant in Canada, using your language in public is fine but not for conversations in a group that doesn't speak it. I say this because being together in a group (as was the example of the family) has the implication that you are all there to interact together and share conversations. Can't do that if you speak a language someone doesn't understand. So it's really out of politeness. You could say that there are situations that can arise where individuals are discussing a topic you don't understand, however, you can still understand the language (but not the concepts) and furthermore you can ask if you are interested in learning about it. So it's a different dynamic

I live in a border town, on the US-Mexico border. In my job, everyone knows Spanish. Most of the employees were raised in Mexico. Two of us (myself included) are raised in the US with mexcian parents. My boss is also mexican-american. She speaks spanish to everyone except me and the other US-raised employee. To us, she speaks either english or spanglish. My coworker responds in English or spanglish but I respond in Spanish, however i text her in English. I'm not sure why i do that. At home i only speak spanish since my parents had a Spanish only rule for the house. My dad in particular was fairly strict about it. Therefore i have a hard time switching to English even when I've been told to do so to be polite to an anglophone guest. It just feels wrong. I wouldn't expect a foreigner to speak English or Spanish to their family just because I'm there, even if they're all bilingual or trilingual.

here in Brazil its extremelly rare that foreigners speak portuguese, and we don't care, but apreciate when people speak portuguese. But we were "colonized" by the anglophones to view their language as superior, hence most companies here are founded with an english name to gain prestige. Unfortunately silly. Besides, Brazilians tend to not like when store employees and foreigners speak chinese or spanish, but find it awesome to see someone speaking english. C'mon people. I only learn english to play games, listen to music, reach some content (That's how I reached Metatron's Hema and history content). No interest in germanic cultures. Being from Brazil I'm mainly descendent from Portuguese people, which in ancient times were Lusitanians, Gallaeci celts and Celtici (almost just like Spain), so I identify more with these cultures. Then hollywood and media only focus on germanic content, like vikings, norse peoples, etc, and sometimes giving some light to the celtic Arthur tale amd Halloween because of the land they obtained and the anglo-saxons, but that's celtic. so why care? I don't mean to dislike germanics, I have nothing against them. I'm against empires, being it military or mercantile. If you want to enter and get to know and enjoy another culture, be happy, I do it, but always be proud of your own culture as well. Empires come and go.

I was riding the bus in Germany, speaking on the phone to my mother in Portuguese, and I heard "in Deutschland spricht man Deutsch". Never heard that sort of thing anywhere else. In Portugal, no one cares what language you're speaking. Especially in Lisbon, with all the tourists and different languages. I believe you have the right to speak whatever you want if you're in a public space, having a private conversation. If you're in a group of people and you start talking to one of them in a language that is not understood by the rest, it can come across as rude.

On a school trip from England to Belgium by train, we got absolutely screamed at by a Dutch-speaking passenger because we couldn’t speak Dutch or French. He went absolutely berserk. A French speaker came to our rescue and told him to STFU - in French of course. I learnt two things on that trip: how expensive Snickers bars are in Belgium, and how nice the Walloons are :)

Interesting

I've lived my whole life in the US, and while I've heard of such things, I've never witnessed it myself. I think people saying that must not live in a place like NYC, where you might hear a dozen different languages being spoken within a couple minutes just walking down the street! I (a white American) talk to my wife only in Mandarin, even in public, unless a non-Mandarin-speaker is involved in the conversation. Nobody has ever made a negative comment about it. On the contrary, I often hear comments on how cool it is that I can speak the language.

It may be a Germanic aspect of the Anglosphere. When I was in Hamburg, Germany, a German asked for my help with his car. Though I was willing to help him, he wanted me to go away because I did not speak German. He was rude about it.

Very interesting. As a lifelong multilingual, I have had many positive and negative experiences in various countries, but before mentioning them, I am going to read the other comments first, so as not to repeat things that other people have already said. For now. I will mention my experience in Catalonia at the height of the Independence crisis. With my family I usually speak in Spanish, but I acknowledge that I am in Catalonia, which has its own language. So, when speaking to Catalans, I start off with a greeting in their language (bon dia / bona tarda / bona nit) and I tell them that I can understand Catalan if spoken clearly. This usually achieves the desired result and I have had many pleasant and useful bilingual conversations. As regards the attitude of Catalan people to foreign people speaking in their own languages, I think they are indifferent and they expect them to do so. They are of course very pleased if the foreign visitor tries to speak at least some Catalan.

I found this in south-west England where people working in shops were always convinced that Welsh people were only speaking Welsh to each other in order to say things about the English people eating at the next table or standing next in line at the checkout.

Boy do I have a story for you. First, english is my second language. I was going to England through Calais, France by ship. As per my understanding, at a harbour there are a lot of international people, its basically a border, so people who work there should be able to speak english, the lingua franca, the international language. But NO! They spoke no english. A guard spoke the best english among them, who held up my passport and asked "what is this?" Since I didnt know what she meant, I just told her passport. Somehow she managed to communicate that she meant to ask where I am, the passport is from, which country.

It’s really a case by case scenario. Maybe the best way to pinpoint if it’s rude or not is by imagining that you are whispering instead of talking another language. In cases where people are whispering to each other during a meal with other persons, yes that could be considered rude. But if you are whispering to each other in a public transportation full of strangers, it’s definitely not rude. Even though, in those cases telling someone « here in [blank] we speak [blank] » is of poor taste. I’d understand more something like « could you share your conversation with all of us? ».

I can't speak for the UK, but I think I can see some of the reasons for this in the US. The United States is mind-numbingly huge and generally (except for the cities) just English speaking. Some people aren't used to conversations in other languages even if just overhearing conversations (which even in English might be considered rude to listen into). But on the other hand, I have also seen examples where the opposite is true; natives, particularly of a certain culture, among people of their same culture, having conversations in that language. Walk down the Polish neighborhoods, and native-born Americans who learned Polish growing up at the same time as English might just be talking to each other in Polish.

I think that for something like a vacation that it's pretty understandable and acceptable if someone doesn't know even a lick of the language, but that if someone is intending a longer stay then it's really beneficial for everyone if they try and pick up the local language and so the person should be encouraged to do so. There are a lot of immigrants who I think lose out by not really trying to learn the native tongue if there's a large enough immigrant community in the local area - yeah, they can get by because of that but they miss out on things by being more or less forced to stick to areas that speak their language. And in either case, making an attempt is worthy of respect. Stopping strangers for speaking in their native tongue amongst each other is still ridiculous, but if they're the ones approaching you and asking for some sort of help but not using body language or otherwise more or less acting like a native would understand a foreign language it comes across as the foreigner seeming rude.

I'm completely and comfortably triligual. When I'm home here in the US, and there is someone with me who speaks one of my other languages, but also speaks English, I always converse with that person in English when we're in English speaking company. The only time I converse in another language, is when there is no English speaking company around. I do the same thing when I'm in another country where I speak the language. I wouldn't feel comfortable if when interacting with people, some started to converse with each other in a language I don't understand (while they can also speak in the language common to the group), and the others in the group don't understand either. My first thought is: what do these people have to hide from the rest of the group? Are they talking about us? It'd feel uncomfortable. I extend the courtesy of not giving others the same feeling I'd have. When people speak a different language among themselves, when nobody else is involved in their conversation, I don't care what language they're using, it's their private business.

Interesting issue. In my POV, the content of my private conversations concerns only to me and to the person I'm talking to, and it's no business to the general public. While in the case of being in a friend group and starting to talk to your fellow countryman in your native language sounds unpolite to me. On another note, it's really a monolingual thing to mock other people's accent and grammar mistakes - one who doesn't know the struggle of learning and speaking thinks that learning and performing is easy.

Couple of reflections: 1. Both the US and Britain are highly "exceptionalistic" cultures (and so is France, BTW), due to their imperialistic and colonialistic past (or, in the case of the US, present), where a significant part of the population believes that 'they' are different if not better than the rest, leading to things such as using USC rather than metric, driving on the left, or calling a byte 'octet'. So is Japan, but Japanese culture is very odd in this regard, and Japanese people - while considering themselves as inextricably and fundamentally different from anyone else - are very humble about it, at least in public situations. 2. In the two examples you presented at the beginning, one is a 'low sharing' environment, the other is 'high sharing'. People on a bus 'share' less, or are a less tight social group if you prefer, than people invited to someone's house for a meal. The expectation that people sharing a meal also share in the conversation (and therefore speak a language that is, to the extent possible, shared by all) I would consider perfectly legitimate, unlike the expectation that 'strangers' that are sharing open-to-all, public transport with me speak "my" language when speaking among themselves.

This issue (?) is nuanced and as such requires a nuanced answer. First thing that needs to be addressed is the linguistic ability of the foreigner(s). If low or nonexistent outside of their native tongue, this is a non-issue as it wouldn't be rude in any way shape or form to be speaking in their tongue. If advanced enough to converse in the foreign country's tongue, it may be rude depending on the circumstance or situation if they converse in their own native tongue rather than the foreign one that they and the other conversing party are able to. The second thing that needs to be addressed, this is where the nuance comes into full display and become of full efficacy, is whether it is a private or public setting. In a private setting, such as one's personal home, whatever rules the "authority figure" outlines should be adhered to as much as is possible. In a public setting (barring a group specific engagement) no such rule could be dictated as such, unless the correspondence is in and of itself rude in its nature (such as mocking others or things of that kind) it would not be rude to converse in their native tongue rather than the foreign one.

If you're learning some language, it usually means you are interested in some nation and it's culture. If you're learning English, you're not doing this because of your interest in Big Ben or big love for american cuisine. You just need it. It's a necessity.

It's very hard to divorce politics from this conversation, but a lot of it is the role of cultural hegemony English plays, which is why an American who speaks only English is likely not going to care if a tourist from France speaks French in the US, but is far more likely to say something to some one speaking Spanish. French is not perceived as a threat, but Spanish is. But as an American, I feel pretty strongly that freedom of speech applies to all languages, not just English.

I've been using a conversation app to learn Italian for a year, and I realize that the Italians are super happy to know you are learning Italian! Recently I began to learn Czech, and it's funny to realize that their reaction is usually surprise and perplexity: "Really?? Czech?? Why??" 😅 It is very rude to do as these people you saw, except maybe in your own house, although it would be nice to do it in a less imperialistic way. Which makes me remember a sentence from 1992 film Last of the Mohicans: Major Heyward says to the general: "I thought British policy was to make the world England, Sir." In a way, it's in their culture for a long time. They are still trying to make the world an English speaking world. In general, we are free. There's no law that forbids you to speak whatever language in the US or in England. Of course you want to be polite, and include your interlocutors. Language choices are, as you said, a matter of empathy. Yours is a great idea: lessons at school about cultural differences. Cheers, Gus, Rio

Nice Dogen Tougana hoodie!

I was in the subway and a couple of tourists were stressed out and trying to make sense of the map. I have asked if I could help others similarly distressed in the past. They were speaking German, and I have a very limited German ability, so I asked them in English if they needed help. If they had answered in German I would have tried my poor German, ditto if they had difficulty with English. After helping them I tried to remember how to explain in German and it would have taken longer and been much less clear as linguistic gender is for me like color for the blind.

I feel like at least a couple of these examples come down to pure annoyance. People will find any reason they can to put other people that they dislike down; so two people having a really loud conversation in another language might be responded to with "This is America, we speak Engilsh," but the underlying sentiment is really, "Oh my God can you just shut up already?"

I was speaking Dutch to someone in a public place in my own country, the Netherlands. Then an American told us why we don't speak English, because all Dutch have to know that language. He was not a part of the conversation and he didn't know if we know the English language.

As someone that live in a Greek touristic island, I don't think I ever heard people complain about what language other people talk. But Americans that come here tend to get entitled that everyone and their grandmother's speak English to them. Germans also expect others to talk to them in German to them, they tend to dislike you if you speak them in English. Italians are easygoing. I speak them in Spanish they speak me in Italian and we understand each other ( my accent is Argentina so we get along well)

Extactly same thing happened to me in South Africa. Me and and my mom were travelling on the bus and speaking to each other in Portuguese and a certain lady wasn't happy about it and told us to shut up. Funnily enough we reacted by continuing speaking it and ignored her. In the UK the opposite reaction happened, also with me and mu mother. The person was keen on knowing what language we were speaking and we had a nice conversation. Thinking back, in the UK we spoke English for the remaining of the ride because we had a good time.

It's not about what language you're speaking, it's about ethics and being polite. When you are in a group speaking a language, it doesn't matter which one, it is polite not to start speaking another language that people in said group can't understand. It's rude. It has NOTHING to do with English or any other language, it's just ethics and the fact that you are speaking another language, you are using a different code than others. The polite way would be to ask for permission before engaging in a different language: "Excuse me, we are from the same country and/or region, is it okay if we speak it? It brings back memories from our country." That's it!

I suppose that English speakers who interrupt other people's conversations to demand that they speak in English are the same people who travel to other countries and demand to be spoken to in English. That's just being a jеrk. In those cases, nothing is more fun than pretending not to understand or saying something like "I'm really sorry, but I can't help you because I don't speak English." On the contrary, it's always appreciated when someone tries to speak your language, and congratulations do not hurt.

I'm mexican, and my mother usually gets angry when chinese people speak chinese here in mexico (and maybe other east asian languages and east asian people too). But she doesn't get angry with other languages or people. I believe some people, like my mother, perceive some languages and/or people in a negative way for different reasons. And she is not even conscious about why she gets angry, she can't explain it. In my case, I'm never bothered by any language or people.

As an American, I noticed how strange are relationship was with other languages. With the exception of living close to the southern boarder, you only see and hear English. You can easily go decades of your life only ever hearing English. Learning other languages are treated more as a novelty than anything else. I remember reading history books written 100+ years ago and was amazed how common it was to be multilingual, at least it seemed that way.

A bit unrelated with this, but I remembered this. I was an exchange student in Japan. On my first weekend, my Turkish senpai there and his Indian neighbor, invited me to the Kamakura trip they were planning. The senpai of the Indian guy would join us too. So we'd be two Turks and two Indians. I was looking forward to hear the "Indian language" (didn't know much about India back then) and I was surprised that they were speaking English with each other. I quickly concluded that they didn't want to be rude and tried my best not to speak too much Turkish and stick to English or Japanese. Then we entered this Indian restaurant...well the staff consisted of a Bengali and a Tamil...same as those two Indian friends of us. Both sides spoke their respective languages briefly then all of us switched to English for convenience. There I saw the real reason of English, it was also their common language. Of course they could have spoken in Hindi but that might have been rude too. Later on, I learned more about India, the linguistic situation there, existence of English and Hindi medium schools, their English being better than Hindi (which is my closes assumption of "Indian language", etc.

I would say that a lot of people don't understand when British people are joking. Although I can also believe they were being rude. Also when visiting family in Italy they do get upset that I don't speak Italian and know very little neapolitan . Something I'm finally starting to learn. Though I will also accept that might be because they are family and want me to embrace my Italian side.

Sounds like a classical case of do-as-i-say-not-as-i-do?

I imagine it's something like peoples inner feelings of shame or fear of their own ignorance of other languages. Hard to know if it's the position of the English language or just that English speaking countries just happened to be the most entitled. As an English only speaker in Australia I've certainly seen the sentiment of people being unhappy or uncomfortable with other people speaking a foreign language to each other. For some reason their minds always go straight to suspicion. The example of speaking English on holiday in other countries was an interesting one, it seems more accepted.

Where I have a problem with people speaking their own language is in the workplace. It makes it very difficult to communicate instructions if you don't know if the other person can understand you. Maybe they can, maybe they can't. But if I never hear the other person speaking my language, only theirs, and I don't speak their language, and there is no interpreter around, what am I supposed to do? We aren't talking tourists or guests here--if you are in the workplace, it means you intend to stick around for quite a while and therefore I think it only reasonable that you make an attempt to at least SHOW you understand what is being said. I'm not asking for fluency. If I moved to another country or an area where my language wasn't spoken, I'd at least want to know enough of that language to communicate basics. I can't imagine being in school or at work or even traveling around and not knowing a word of the language around me--how do people function in such cases?

As a New Zealander, I have had many people speaking many languages. I'm a taxi driver, so I pick up from different countries. Some use english to talk to me, but if they are to each other, then they use their own language

You have a right to a private conversation. The lady on the bus was out of line because she was intruding on something that did not include her and was none of her business. With private conversation you can speak whatever you want because it is no one else's business. In a shared conversation where all parties are sharing the conversation, I think of it as generally somewhat rude for a few people to switch to another language unless their skills in the shared language are limited. If everyone fluently or near fluently speaks the common language within that conversation, then two people switching to another language would be rude. It is deliberately excluding people.

I think you pretty much said all that needs to be said about this subject. If you are in a group, try to speak in a language that everyone will understand. But no one has the right to complain about your choice of language if they are not part of the conversation. I don't think any other approach is reasonable. I have noticed some curious looks while speaking Catalan to my wife in Italy and Mexico, but never any complaints. I don't think anyone was annoyed

As an English Canadian I have a problem in Québec. I have a moderate command of French grammar and vocabulary, but a terrible accent. If I am in a small town people can seem annoyed that I speak to my wife in English, but they are equally annoyed if I speak in bad French. We have never had enough courage to speak to each other in heavily accented French to see if anyone tells us to speak English instead. 😊 BTW I live in Toronto, where English is the lingua franca. About a third of the conversations on the subway are in some other language. That is normal.

I feel like a lot of this attitude is starting to shift in America, since Mexican and Latine culture are so widespread, that Spanish is almost considered a second lingua franca; maybe you don't know it, but you know that a lot of ppl do, and there's an expectation that ppl who speak Spanish are gonna speak Spanish.

During 'The troubles' in Northern Ireland , the irish language was used as a cyber-code whenever the British Army were nearby.

Oh this happens in France and Quebec too

There does seem to be an expectation among SOME anglophone monoglots that everyone else should just learn English and nothing should ever be expected of them. I have no idea where this attitude comes from and I've not personally known anyone express it but I think the way languages are taught in England is part of the problem. It's still the case that the majority are not offered any language lessons until entering high school (age 11-12) and none of what is on offer is particularly useful for later life/career and so is not valued. BTW, please do a video where you try to understand malagueño Spanish 👍

I grew up a native English speaker in Amish Country in the Midwest. The Amish generally are bilingual, speaking a form of German called Pennsylvania Dutch as their mother tongue as well as English. I've seen plenty of them speaking Pennsylvania Dutch, but I've never really seen anyone give them any trouble for it. In the past, when I heard them speaking PA Dutch, I worried that they were saying nasty things behind my back, but after a certain point I realized that if someone is rude enough to bad mouth me behind my back (foreign language or not), their opinion is not one I should care about.

I witnessed something similar when I lived in a region of Brazil where there are many Pomeranians and their descendants. Older people were generally uncomfortable with younger people when they used Portuguese. Sometimes they interrupted and say "Speak in Pomersch, you're a Pomeranian". However, I believe that this is a different context, taking into account that the language is already dead and, today, with little Little influence. But it happened and I thought it would be interesting to comment.

For myself, someone who is an allophone/anglophone born and bred in Montreal Quebec, minorities getting told to speak French in public by some Quebecois does occur. Not as common as in the 1990s, but I does happen

Some time ago I was a facebook comment by a turkish guy saying somethin like "this is polish group, we speak polish here, poland for poles and turks"

As an Englishman from England, I suspect this has a lot more to do with the fact we have the view that when you're in Rome you do as the Romans, and that means assimilation. I know as somebody who has married a foreigner and has a lot of interactions with foreigners that it can be very irritating when people refuse to do this. We have had problems with minorities refusing to integrate in the past, which has led to quite abhorrent situations (such as the Rotherham gangs) and perhaps people are sick of putting up with it. I'm also quite surprised that the French aren't considered similarly, although they manifest this in a different way.

Being from the Asterix village near Rimini sometimew I take the joke of "if you struggle with Italian we can speak English, don't worry we have your back" (Which I reply with the most loaded Romagnol I got from my fsmily )

I'm interested to hear if this concept similarly applies to sign languages.

in the first scenario, it would be dependent on why they started speaking French. If one of them is less familiar with English and asked the other "How do you say..." in French and then the other responded, and perhaps they started just going on without thinking about it I am ok. If they were just doing it to exclude the others, it would be wrong. The folks having a private conversation on a bus should be free to speak any language they see fit.

As a child of foreigners, I was never taught their native tongue. They used their native tongue to talk about people and things behind their back without anyone knowing. So I got the paranoia that every time I hear a foreign language out in the public, someone is talking bad about someone else

It's happened to me...at some work places here in South Africa, they have language policies stating you may only converse in English to avoid misunderstandings between staff.

The dinner party is different than the bus, because everyone likes to be included.

I do have one anecdote at Italians getting mad at someone not speaking Italian in Italy, although it was toward another Italian. Some years ago I attended an international seminar in Rome where the official language to be spoken was English. There were some speakers whose English was not proficient enough, so they spoke in their native language and headsets with interpreters were provided. However, one of the main speakers was Italian, but quite proficient in English, so he decided to speak in English. A large number of the Italians in the audience were quite upset, and started loudly jeering from the audience. I can understand why they would expect an Italian to speak Italian in Italy, but at the same time it was established from the beginning that the seminar was to be given in English, so the level of displeasure from the audience seemed a little strange to me.

I’m hesitant to travel outside the U.S. because I’m only fluent in English and don’t want to be rude to people by not being able to properly communicate with them in their own country.

Originally from NY/USA, and so many place names are based on native Am languages. Beautiful words (often anglicized but still)… What would the bus lady have done if two people were speaking Algonquin? Would like to witness that.

Many years ago traveling through Europe on a tour the only country I would get dirty looks from in using a foreign language was in France, particularly Paris. I am American, and I was not very confident in my French at the time so being Paris I chose to ask in English basic questions about how to get to X, or where do I find X, and could you please get X for me, etc... I would get some impatient looks from people working in hotels and restaurants and stuff like they find it exasperating to deal with someone who isn't speaking your native language. Outside of Paris, the people seemed to be nicer, so maybe it was just the effect of living in an expensive city that turned people like that.

I am a native Dutch speaker and i am fluent in English but even now if a stranger walks up to me and speaks English or another language i do not trust that person at all and try to stay away from them but i wont just tell them to speak Dutch .people should mind their own business if you are talking to someone in another language and you are not involved if i tried to do that i would probably get beat up. this seems to be common in English speaking countries but it sometimes happens in other countries too if you run into the wrong people. like i heard stories about people in south America getting attacked for not speaking Spanish or in Russia for not speaking Russian.

I would like to point out the type of person that would say this are not likely to go very far from their place of birth within their country let alone go to a country that speaks another language so they aren't necessarily hypocrites.

My dad told me a story about my Pop Pop (his father) during a trip to Italy. Pop Pop’s parents immigrated from Puglia at the turn of the 20th century. The “Italian” that Pop Pop grew up learning from his parents was closer to the Ginosa dialect than standard Italian. So when they visited their relatives and someone noticed my Pop Pop speaking to another relative in their common dialect, they said to the relative (in Italian I believe) “Hey, speak Italian!” To which he replied, “He doesn’t speak Italian!”

Not every Englishman knows only one language (the official language of his country). Fifteen years ago I visited a place 70 km from London: Chelmsford. I discovered that a group of residents regularly met in the home of one of the members to spend an evening speaking only French. What surprised them most was that I spoke that language too (I live 20 km from the border), being Italian. They also wanted me to speak in my regional language. In short, the English are not all the same. Those who behave as you say are the people who have no interest in languages and who are used to finding foreigners to help them (for economic reasons or out of sheer courtesy).