"if you want to be exclusive, let me know. otherwise I'll keep my options open" -such a good line!!
@TinaWiegman4 жыл бұрын
I know! I totally agree... perfect response.
@4gma594 жыл бұрын
I would never put the ''exclusivity ball'' in his court. Exclusivity is not just his decision, it's mine too. He needs to make the investment of time and emotional availability. Exclusivity takes time. It takes some testing (on both sides -- and testing is not a bad thing, it's essential).
@raffaellacolomo76694 жыл бұрын
I agree. First time you sleep with someone you have absolutely no idea if it will happen again, no matter if it went well or not and if you had the exclusivity talk or not! Besides, words are words you can say yes to exclusivity a hundred times and then sleep with a million people anyway!and as a woman, I've learned to judge people over time and not from a single encounter
@Nxyphoenix4 жыл бұрын
Makes sense , let the ones that step up , step up and the ones that don’t , fade away . From experience it’s true , if you focus on one , you really liked them but you focus too much and get clingy and they start feeling pressure or doubt and start sabotaging things or being non-exclusive . It’s like you are indirectly making the choice for them when they want to feel like they are choosing you not getting locked down and forced to choose or escape later lol
@Nxyphoenix4 жыл бұрын
Gotta have fun , take your time if you need it , and don’t be afraid if things don’t work out , love yourself and know your value because surely there are people that will know it and see it too .
@msve37303 жыл бұрын
It helps you not to appear needy or clingy.
@honeybee61544 жыл бұрын
Years ago we called it Circular Dating.
@ms.whitney8143 жыл бұрын
I just kissed my phone!! I love this!!
@msve37303 жыл бұрын
A guy I dated 2 years ago knew I was dating more than one guy and faked like he wanted to be exclusive, I got rid of the others and he ended up leaving me as well.
@kristenmoonrise2 жыл бұрын
Yep that is the girlfriend trap. I'm not sure what the answer is for women that don't desire marriage but for those that do, they continue dating more than one guy until one proposes.
@iamannabeautiful2 жыл бұрын
This has happened to me twice so I'm not looking to drop anyone for now
@XYZ-ln2qk4 жыл бұрын
Many men demand exclusivity=total power, and give no exclusivity=zero power.
@MatthewCoast4 жыл бұрын
That sounds like an agreement that doesn't serve you. And a thought process that doesn't serve you. Focus on what you want.
@XYZ-ln2qk4 жыл бұрын
@@MatthewCoast I heard the above thought pattern repeatedly in men. It's power pyramid.
@MatthewCoast4 жыл бұрын
It sounds like you're hanging out with the wrong men
@tianapratt38594 жыл бұрын
This video was sooooo needed for me. The balance is so difficult! Real talk.
@maarieb4 жыл бұрын
How do you answer when he asks, "What are you up to?" or "What'd you do last night?" and you were obviously out on a date (my "friend" was teaching me to play golf)... I never know how not to come across like I'm hiding something, but also not rub it in his face... I'm dating a few guys and keeping pretty busy with it, so of course it comes up, even with benign questions like, "What are you up to this weekend?" I don't want to lie or be dismissive of their questions, but at the same time, I know it comes across like I have quite a few "friends"
@AmaLoveGoddessTV3 жыл бұрын
Say you went or hung out. Don't say with who.
@ivy38392 жыл бұрын
Just say you out with friends .Nothing wrong with having friends .
@arisa3733 жыл бұрын
I subscribed for the title alone! Coming from a man it hits different.
@stormy77954 жыл бұрын
Ummm, with the exclusivity conversation what if you are not ready for exclusivity.. and I am still dating other people.. how do I get around this especially if I have only met them a couple of times and I want to keep my options open but they would like exclusivity to soon... Lately, I have been getting guys that want to get too serious to soon and I would prefer to take my time and be sure they are someone I would like to be exclusive with..
@ivy38392 жыл бұрын
Don’t be afraid to express your wants , if is too soon , it’s too soon , genuine man will understand.
@ivy38392 жыл бұрын
It’s like going for the job interviews you don’t want . Esp after heartbreak .
@ivispark37802 жыл бұрын
What about if several want to be exclusive but you aren’t ready yet because you want to get to know them and others better first? I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but I don’t want to be rushed.
@MariSunshine_Tarot2 жыл бұрын
I am starting to date multiple people and I was feeling unsure how to do it. Thanks!
@ClarCo2 жыл бұрын
While I subscribe to the idea of dating multiple guys I don't have a lot of time on my hands. I don't see myself as being too needy or clingy with men who may have romantic interest in me. Guys can be time and energy consuming getting to know them.
@stormy77954 жыл бұрын
Mat you are totally adorkable!!!.. and I get you.. lol Thanks for being awesome..
@MatthewCoast4 жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@irenekara85254 жыл бұрын
Hei,Matt.Sending to u warm greetings from Norway❤🇳🇴
@msve37303 жыл бұрын
Be careful because some men will say YES they want to be exclusive with you then get what they want then leave you as well.
@MatthewCoast3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing this
@birthesdatter87522 жыл бұрын
It's not for everyone to date multiple men/women. I would rather just see one person at at time and look out for red flags and then learn to deal with the disappointment of having to drop the idea of a relationship with them and move on.
@leandrageneveleandra55104 жыл бұрын
Great vidéo!!! You are so right.... And because we date multiple men we will be less devastated if it does not work with one of them .... I know about what I am talking about 😉 Thanks again for your precious advices
@patriciabrown86604 жыл бұрын
Thank you Ashley Page for your insight into this question! I never saw it that way.
@lillianr10264 жыл бұрын
You can have this conversation all you want but they still lie and ghost! So how are we to know?
@wrldtrvlr4vr4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for this!
@suet.r.4815 Жыл бұрын
I hear you. - I do. Don't put all your eggs in one basket", etc. I have zero dating experience. Zero. The whole thing is daunting without exponents. Thanks anyway.
@tamarahbernixe2 жыл бұрын
I read online it was best to mention that guy if you were seeing someone so I did jus that. I think he wanted a hook up anyways and I wanted him to know I was seeing others and told him I didn't just hook up with people.
@clauaome252 жыл бұрын
I give up too quickly on little things. I wonder how I can change that.
@Kalie_f2 жыл бұрын
I have dated three guys and messed with one but I’m starting to feel like guys won’t date me because I have been with four boy-even tho I’m In college. I’m to feel sick to my stomach and keep judging myself all the time about the amount of people I have been with. Now I’m starting to give up on myself
@stormy77954 жыл бұрын
How to multiple date in small towns? Most people will know someone who knows someone where I live.. So it's kinda hard to date outa social circles.
@MatthewCoast4 жыл бұрын
It depends on how small your town is... if it really is that small you may need to broaden your scope of where you're meeting men.
@neelykhyltash70514 жыл бұрын
How do you answer the question about if your dating others if it's too early & you are not ready to be exclusive with him yet. I have been asked this question even before one date so I would not flip it as "do you want to be exclusive" cuz I have asked that question & the guy said yes. I didn't know he was the one to be exclusive with yet because it was too early
@JennaMini4 жыл бұрын
So you’re saying ...that a man and woman should be boyfriend and girlfriend before they have sex ?
@JennaMini4 жыл бұрын
Or even kiss?
@kimberlychilstrom68884 жыл бұрын
But ..whether you sleep with someone or not ..doesnt mean other people wont believe you are anyways ..we just live in this kind of soceity ..plus some brag and tell lies ..its risky .than there goes your reputation ..plus you can spread yourself too thin..life is already filled with lots of responsibilities and it could be exhausting juggling too many activities or people ..i get not seeming needy ..but this is all about perception also. ..
@nadijones6604 жыл бұрын
Im in love with and seeing a guy thats is dating someone else. I accidentally told him i was going for dinner this evening, he asks with who....and I didnt have the guts. I lied and said my friend. How do I fix it? Help help help. How do I take this back, I dont want to lie 😭😭😭😭
@irenekara85254 жыл бұрын
I get it what u said but hw to do say things when we are straightforward plus I'm typical Scandinavian woman but strange enough I like a man who comes from other race.living work in Danemark .We like each other connected intellectually and emotionally but I'm affraid that I'm too tough, too direct, too independent bcse that is hw i have been raised now im feel lost bcse I don't know hw I can act with him , I know I like him and will meet him for a date in few wks from now.Pls tell me what to do in this case.Tkx
@ivy38392 жыл бұрын
Don’t act , be yourself , you cannot keep an act in long term . Don’t be competitive just enjoy the moment .
@rosemcelwain98574 жыл бұрын
Hi Matt I'm from Ireland
@jengagnon784 жыл бұрын
Hi from Canada!
@deborahetzcorn111 Жыл бұрын
Hi from hickory hills Illinois ❤
@MatthewCoast Жыл бұрын
Hi, Deborah!
@SuperLiliana19734 жыл бұрын
Well, you are right about keeping the options open in the beginning of relationships, but some people feel that something is going on... I do! :D :D And there is a proverb: "If you run after too many rabbits, you end up not catching any!!" :D :) I can add here that many women and some men wants to date people who likes them very much and they are not after "the next who will accept me as quick as possible..." In some counties, it is a big issue!
@MatthewCoast4 жыл бұрын
You're not chasing the bunnies... you are the bunny. And you're looking for men who step up and chase and pursue you.
@amnestylost2 жыл бұрын
What I don't like is that when these guys DO step up, some chicks will just keep dating multiple men anyway. It is gross.
@denisefioretti36232 жыл бұрын
Hi from Boynton Beach Florida
@MatthewCoast2 жыл бұрын
Hello there!
@Dependencycourtsellschildren4 жыл бұрын
Yea and how many women are celibate? I have been for over a year less than two. Nobody irl asks me out, and online is just depressing. It’s no better for us women.
@MatthewCoast4 жыл бұрын
There are far more men who are celibate. It's about 18% for women.
@Dependencycourtsellschildren4 жыл бұрын
Well, now I feel worse...
@Dependencycourtsellschildren2 жыл бұрын
@Sabrina okay. That’s your choice. Also, this is a two year old comment. Negativity would have been a while ago.
@patriciabrown86604 жыл бұрын
Some guys want to be exclusive after 1-2 weeks. How do you handle this?
@MrsNicolas4 жыл бұрын
I know this is old, but I say don't do it. Tell them you want to keep your options open. If he doesn't like it, then drop him.
@nplatt918 ай бұрын
I get it
@kristinleigh22744 жыл бұрын
so true, great advice.
@vickiebickford92833 жыл бұрын
Hi from Colorado
@CorkyParker-rn2cf Жыл бұрын
I like a lot of the advice here, but what I don’t understand is why you never advocate just being forthright and on the first date or call or whenever it seems appropriate just saying by the way, I hope you’re dating a few other folks at this time I am. Instead of this Dodge their question by asking a question that’s just getting off on playing games from the get-go. I’m older than probably most of you folks watching I’m just guessing I’ve been around the block I’ve had tremendous wonderful, relationships and marriages and honesty is the first step because it comes from a place of being comfortable and you encourage the other person to be honest. Avoid all that Machiavellian or gameplaying. Thanks.
@MatthewCoast Жыл бұрын
Because no guy wants to hear that from you. At best, he won't care... at worst, he'll be completely turned off by you as a result.
@CorkyParker-rn2cf Жыл бұрын
@@MatthewCoast that’s interesting. I wonder if it’s generational. For fun I just looked up the wikiHow on how to date multiple people it’s worth reading and it’s clarity. They totally advocate for honesty in both directions. Every guy I have mentioned it to has no problem and understands. No need to be brutal or egotistically all or demanding just real forthright that I’m meeting a variety of folks here and hope they are too ,so we’ll find the right one… Anyway, good luck and here’s to all the different approaches. :)
@MatthewCoast Жыл бұрын
I'm not advocating for dishonesty. I'm telling you that he doesn't need to know, it doesn't help you in any way, it's none of his business, there's no real reason to tell him about it, and it can do a lot more harm than good.
@marlengonzalez36894 жыл бұрын
We are planning a trip away together.... We have yet to be physically intimate, I asked him that I need to know that we are being Exclusive before this trip takes place..... His answer was, "So the pressure is now On!" This took place over a phone conversation and He did not answer,...... He was going back to work and did say we'll talk later. MY QUESTION IS: Do I need to bring this up again?
@aimees49903 жыл бұрын
How did it go love? ❤
@patriciabrown86604 жыл бұрын
Please elaborate on how you can be exclusive after 1 week. Some guys want to be exclusive after 1-2 weeks!
@intuitiveself-love95134 жыл бұрын
Nope!! Psycho😂😂
@patriciabrown86604 жыл бұрын
You’re the psycho!!! Don’t you ever call me another name again!!! You do not have the full details. OKAY!!!!! AND IF YOU CANT REPLY NICELY, THE SHUT YOUR MOUTH, DONT TYPE ANYTHING!!!!!! BECAUSE YOURE SURELY MESSING WITH THE WRONG GIRL!
@TheAshMcG4 жыл бұрын
@@patriciabrown8660 With all due respect, I believe the person was saying the guy could be a Psycho not that you are a Psycho. Guys who push a relationship to quickly typically have issues with being controlling etc., be careful that can be a red flag.
@jo-el40784 жыл бұрын
@@TheAshMcG you're a woman, men have more shit deal with a woman being a manipulative or being true to themselves. When a man says he was it to be exclusive he's simplying saying he isnt their to play games you JACK ASS.
@MrsNicolas4 жыл бұрын
@@TheAshMcG I agree with you. Sometimes it can be because the guy doesn't want to play any games, while sometimes it can be love bombing.
@honeybee61544 жыл бұрын
Here from Buffalo N.Y.
@eso8171 Жыл бұрын
I must be an old soul but I could never date multiple people. At least it never works for me.
@denisefioretti36232 жыл бұрын
Hi
@abcdefg2084 жыл бұрын
I agree
@markusk2289 Жыл бұрын
This is bullshit. When she dates more than one guy at a time she is automatically rejected. It’s disrespectful. Period.
@loveself6396 Жыл бұрын
You’re just insecure & can’t compete. If you’re going to a job interview dnt they interview multiple people before they make a selection? Why wouldn’t dating be the same?
@haileyquinnzel2 жыл бұрын
Multi dating is only for people who have poor boundaries and a bad cut off game