#ADULTING

Рет қаралды 42,205

2 жыл бұрын

How is this my life right now? This week we're #Adulting and doing this my high school classmates did years ago. Go to thld.co/modernfertility_ajadang to get $20 off your Fertility Hormone Test! Thanks Modern Fertility for sponsoring today’s video!
So... life is moving pretty fast these days. On top of organizing all the launches for MSTRPLN and planning out videos for YT, I'm now also having to plan the next steps of my life: getting married, eventually having a baby, and having to combine finances with Brian. It's a lot.
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Пікірлер: 286

@AjaDang 2 жыл бұрын

ps. I did not find my dress here ;)

@melem774 2 жыл бұрын

1.) Wedding dress shopping is draining. Especially when the SALES person is trying a little hard for you to like a dress (aka push a dress on you), or are a little too excited for every dress hoping it is the one, or if they are not helpful at all. But when you find it; you will know. Also from the three second clip, not to judge but I might sound as though I am, your mom seems very blunt on her thoughts for a dress for you. and what you need is someone that will listen to what you are feeling; not someone ready to give their opinion. Because it is draining you need a support system. I always told the sales person the dress was okay. But when I found the one I cried. 2.) I had my kids at 33 and 37. I have had friends that have had them at 39. I am sure you will be able to be pop out kids quicker than you think! Try not to add more stress onto your body. 3.) Dave would say combine. I have not combined and sometimes I wish I would have since my guy is like yours. Give it time Give all of it time nothing has to be done or decisions have to be done by next week. The fact that you are thinking about it all puts you ahead. I think I went to 7 dress stores, I didn't even take prenatal pills until after I had my positive pregnancy test with thyroid issues. and the money thing we are still learning to figure that out. Adulting is hard. But we survived another day!!

@yumcha88 2 жыл бұрын

I tried on so many dresses to see what looked good and then scouted Poshmark for a dress. Got a nice Pronovias from an older season for $850. I also ordered a dress from JJs House online which was risky cuz you can't try it on but quality was decent and I only dropped about $200 for it. Discovered it from Reddit. Just don't expect to return it because I think that's where people get all angry about JJsHouse. It was going to be back up dress if I couldn't find anything else I liked. I, too, was whatever about the whole wedding dress experience. It's also so wasteful to spend a fortune on a dress. I say just buy one that looks good for photos so you have that for memory and then sell it! preserving your wedding dress is a waste of closet space. Also, my husband and I share one joint account that we just contribute what we can and it goes towards mortgage and anything that we use together.

@idajohnseningebrigtsen8943 2 жыл бұрын

Have you thought of renting a dress or buying used dresses (vintage)? Then you can adjust them after ☀️

@claudiadufour3567 2 жыл бұрын

I would do: 1. Brian checking fun money 2. Aja checking fun money 3. Bill pay shared checking (autopay and/or variable spending) 4. Joint savings goals 5. Brian individual goals 6. Aja individual goals

@rachelstallings5460 2 жыл бұрын

Maybe use this time to get your savings into high yield savings, like Ally or Capital One. Ally now has buckets so you can use it for sinking funds. But this structure seems to reflect what your needs are.

@briannanight8395 2 жыл бұрын

What we are planning on doing as well.

@briannanight8395 2 жыл бұрын

You guys are well off but for other people if one is higher than the other. Do not try to do 50/50 do whatever percentage works. I did 50/50 now however, post wedding i will pay less as i am more than likely going to make less. It looks like i will be a solo mom because of my fiancé's future job. One lady i know actually pays 60% and he pays 4p%. In her previous marriage and the current they payed based off of percentages of take home income and neither marriages income has been an issue. Her first marriage seperated from something other than finances.

@christinamartinez2853 2 жыл бұрын

I have a very similar breakdown I have an extra savings account that I don’t really need but have lol. It’s worked out for us to also have various different banks Chase, BofA, Ally, Santander. So that no matter what and because we travel often you have access to some sort of cash.

@bellechuang_ 2 жыл бұрын

this is essentially what i have with my partner as well! we have 2 separate joint accounts, one for savings in a high yield account that we can’t access and one to pay for common bills + credit card

@aznpridebuhhd 2 жыл бұрын

“I’ve tried to teach him a few things here and there, buuut the boy is just not getting his shit together” this is meeeeeee! 😂😭

@foxyladygrace 2 жыл бұрын

I literally laughed out loud when you went into the closet and said, “NO BREAKDOWN!” 😂😂

@AjaDang 2 жыл бұрын

traditionally the closet is not a great place for me lol

@ashleynorthover5084 2 жыл бұрын

GUYS WATCH THE ADS SO AJA CAN SAVE LOTS OF MONEY FOR HER WEDDING 🥳🥳🥳🥳

@AjaDang 2 жыл бұрын

second!

@nicol3mii 2 жыл бұрын

I'm on premium. She'll get it too. ;)

@adventurousbec 2 жыл бұрын

What I do is watch the video (with ads of course) and when I'm finished just watch the ads once more.

@QuesttoFIRE 2 жыл бұрын

Since you and Brian have different thoughts about finances, I really, REALLY hope that a prenup is something you’re going to do. 💚 You have gotten your financial life together, and have a bright future… don’t risk it!

@benny88cups 2 жыл бұрын

I love how nonchalant your mom was towards her own wedding. Love your honesty about wedding dress shopping. As for the joint account, my friend has her own account and an joint account for bills

@Natalie_11188 2 жыл бұрын

Basing a joint account off of percentages seems fair. It’s good to keep separate accounts in case of fraud or identity theft- so you won’t be screwed if something happens to one account, you’ll still be able to function. Yeah Brian needs retirement!

@usc_thehubz1446 2 жыл бұрын

thats sort of paranoid. They could sue the bank and make a scandal out of it if something like that ever happens (which it won't because of security)

@Natalie_11188 2 жыл бұрын

@@usc_thehubz1446 of course the bank would make it right- but who wants to have no money for the 48hrs until things get straightened out, or if you’re traveling and don’t have access to all of your cards. It doesn’t hurt to have more than one account if that happens.

@usc_thehubz1446 2 жыл бұрын

@@Natalie_11188 yeah thats a good point

@Natalie_11188 2 жыл бұрын

@@usc_thehubz1446 happened to my mom’s friend and her husband. She got her purse stolen the day before they left on vacation- had to cancel all of her cards/cards in a joint name (good thing her passport wasn’t in there). But they still went on their trip and had a good time because there was money/cards in his name only.

@DearDebt 2 жыл бұрын

I’m so excited for you and all these awesome milestones you have coming up 😍❤️😍❤️🎉

@allthehui 2 жыл бұрын

Aja, you look radiant! I know a few years back you were struggling with body image as you matured, but ughhh you look SO good!! Obviously not the most important thing, but just happy to see you happy.

@DearDebt 2 жыл бұрын

My husband and I have one joint checking and one joint savings. We also both have personal accounts where we put our spending money. That gives you flexibility of having your own spending money still but also having a main joint account for the majority. I feel like having a joint account is easier especially once you start having kids!

@usc_thehubz1446 2 жыл бұрын

I feel like a joint account is a lot better for the relationship. Otherwise all kinds of fights start over partners spending especially when the going gets rough

@haute03 2 жыл бұрын

@@usc_thehubz1446 If fights start over spending then wouldn't having *separate* accounts make more sense?

@ghurlthatrocks 2 жыл бұрын

This is exactly what we did, and it’s definitely one of the best decision we made. :)

@ilovetonkatsu 2 жыл бұрын

Loved this vlog, Aja! I am in my early 30s and I'm learning so much from your experience with wedding planning and fertility testing, and obviously with personal finance!

@Karess8701 2 жыл бұрын

Having separate accounts and a joint account where you put percentage in is the BEST situation because you can still have control of your funds in any given situation and the joint account is great for things you do together. It takes away a lot of confusion!!! They way you are going is great!

@Natalie_11188 2 жыл бұрын

You’re beautiful Aja I am sure you’ll look lovely in any style you chose. A detailed back is great since everyone will be looking at you from behind!

@starry_config 2 жыл бұрын

Joint account was actually a pretty intense discussion with my SO. We’re both in our mid-30’s when we got married this past May and have pretty deeply engrained financial habits on our own. What we agreed on is a joint account (savings and checking) and individual accounts. Our paychecks go into our individual accounts first and then move into the joint accounts for joint expenses (as opposed to joint first and flow into individual). I imagine this will evolve as our family situation changes and we get more comfortable about doing finances as a couple, but we’re in a good place now and it’s working well, so I’ll stay flexible and have an open mind :)

@cro20 2 жыл бұрын

Idk why but aja’s videos relax me. Even when she talks about a stressful topic her cadence and voice and overall attitude is just so calming :)

@usc_thehubz1446 2 жыл бұрын

Yeah she has a really nice low register

@jaemelnav 2 жыл бұрын

The way you are thinking for Brian and you is exactly what works for my husband and I. We each have our own checking accounts and one joint that we pay our bills out of. Same reason as you mentioned, it was important for my husband and I to have our own freedom to spend money out of our checking freely without the other one questioning the reason.

@vbutterfly11 2 жыл бұрын

The way you planned it is perfect. We have separate as personal money but a joint for bills. It makes the most sense.

@alyshacampbell5870 2 жыл бұрын

Best decision ever was joining bank accounts totally. I take cash out if I want to buy a present for him so he doesn’t know what it is. Sharing everything just hits different and you really get to work together. I’m the main manager of our accounts but dang, feels like a team. I’d strongly suggest just joining up and having it all in one place ❤️

@78chaser 2 жыл бұрын

I loved this video. I don’t know the details, I don’t need to know. But this was raw and real and that’s exactly what I appreciate your content for. Cheers!

@mytube1479 2 жыл бұрын

Hi Aja, congrats on the upcoming marriage! It took my husband and I some time to figure this out in a way that worked for us as individuals and as a couple. We tried to do the same percentages like you described and then having our individual accounts, but what I found is that it put the person who made less (me at the time) in a tough spot bc there were things I couldn’t indulge in that he could, and there was some resentment that developed. We re-evaluated and decided that that didn’t work and bc money earning power can quickly shift (now I make more) we really wanted to feel like financial equals and have similar say on money no matter who was the higher earner at any given time. We now merge all our money at the beginning of the month and then transfer the same amounts to our individual accounts for personal spending. My husband likes to spend more and at time charges things and that means he has to use his personal spending to pay that off, bc he doesn’t have his shit together at times…lol. It keeps us accountable to each other and to ourselves. There may be things that come up that one needs and we discuss it to figure out if it’s personal or not. Hope this helps in some way. Just remember there’s no one way that works for all of us us all the time. It’s ok to start with where you feel comfortable and then adjust as needed. :)

@dadmomand3 2 жыл бұрын

Your thought process on accounts sound great. After being married almost 30 years, I opted to consolidate for ease of management.

@mariakristina7440 2 жыл бұрын

FINALLY a vlog. something different than financial/ budgeting videossss TT

@angelicam5813 2 жыл бұрын

Just found your channel and I am loving your videos! It's so relatable right now in my life as I'm also about to get married next year and am working on my financial goals. Thank you for your honest, real and informative content 😊

@Maritza1963 2 жыл бұрын

It’s a blessing that he’s on board with whatever you choose. In my experience , I think the stronger of the two works best to handle the finances. After 38 years of marriage, one bank, with separate accounts with one main account has been the best of all. He has his money, I have mine and we have ours. We have joint sinking funds, I.e travel, house, holidays/gifts, etc All the funds go in one and we each get an allowance. If we make side money it’s our own, unless we choose otherwise. We use the same credits cards for everything (points baby). Since I’m the geek, I track every penny and allocate to the appropriate budget. We are debt free and live on a modest budget. It’s never been better 🙏🏻 great video.

@coreydulin3822 2 жыл бұрын

My dad set me down a few months back to have a talk about finances and he stressed the importance of having a separate account from your spouse. He said he and my mom use a joint account but they also each have their own account that the other can't access.

@Anike16 2 жыл бұрын

I really loved this video. You give such big sister energy. You go big sister! You will figure it out!

@mizzp7 2 жыл бұрын

My husband and I went that route with our finances. We have our own individual accounts and a joint that's for bills and anything we do together. That has been out system since we were dating and first moved in together. This works well for us for all the reasons you brought up. We still have our own influence while being able to pay current bills and save for the future.

@jsmnn3 2 жыл бұрын

Your bangs are looking so good!!

@sarahhanley1624 2 жыл бұрын

God. I am so late to the Aja party. I absolutely LOVE your content. Where have I been? You're turning my whole world around and I'm super grateful for your work. I have to tell you, my husband and I follow the model you were thinking about when it comes to mixing your financial worlds. I think it's exactly perfect. We have a joint account that we deposit into based on a percentage model, and the rest of our money is ours to do with as we please (fill our own cars' gas tanks, "spending" cash, clothes, etc.). It just prevents so much confusion, debate, and disagreement. I contribute a certain amount less, because I do the grocery shopping with "my" money. So I get to have a bit of a better percentage actually than he does. If I can meal plan and not kill the food budget, then it works out for me. It encourages me to spend a bit more wisely on food - which I feel like you - is kinda life. I am the money dip shit - my husband has it together. He disperses our money from that join account for bills, retirement, savings, investment, our boys' college funds, and our major money needs. I just sorta function...over here. You are my new favorite person, and you have totally motivated me to think more about my money/planning life. I look forward to your 2022 vlogs!

@kgal1298 2 жыл бұрын

It's nice that modern fertility is making it more accessible, now if only it were cheaper to store your eggs if you chose to wait longer.

@Rocioslane 2 жыл бұрын

I love how proactive you are ❤️

@melyandres_ 2 жыл бұрын

Percentages are a good option and it makes everyone feel that they’re contributing equally, which would avoid potential tension. We have a joint account,for simplicity’s sake because I manage the home finances… but I agree, keeping some anonimity would be nice!

@_kenia 2 жыл бұрын

My husband and I decided to keep our finances separate because we both spend money differently. We only have a joint account for bills. This has prevented a lot of money arguments ❤️

@Sarah-ul9ec 2 жыл бұрын

When my husband and I got married, it took awhile for us create a joint checking account (about 6 months). We also had our own individual accounts, which we eventually moved and combined to the joint account another 6 months later. Honestly, as long as you're both communcicating and not hiding any spending from each other, it's fine if you dont jump into combining your finances immediately. It's ok if an adjustment period is needed or if you feel that you need to set aside a separate account for more serious financial situations imo.

@gennyfermullins3636 2 жыл бұрын

My husband and I have one joint account where both of our salaries get deposited. We have weekly budget meetings to go over expenses and goals so we are both on the same page and know where all of our money is going. However, we have multiple sets of married friends who do not have their finances completely combined and that works for them. I think it's whatever you are both the most comfortable with!

@tatianasierra2185 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks Aja for letting us see your though process. Hope you find clarity in some of the things you mentioned.

@sangmayday 2 жыл бұрын

I chose to use the wedding dress/attire for myself to be pieces from sustainable brands and went with a simple dress from Reformation! Plus, now I can rewear the dress for a future occasion! ☺️

@claudiadufour3567 2 жыл бұрын

Every couple I know does it differently, so totally up to you.

@imocha22222 2 жыл бұрын

really appreciate the honesty!!!

@baileyhadnott9009 2 жыл бұрын

My fiancé and I are in the same boat right now. Wedding planning/budgeting and combining finances. What’s worked for us is one joint savings and one joint checking. We each contribute to both those accounts based on our incomes. Then we have separate investment accounts and checking accounts. We do have one household budget though so we can hold each other accountable!

@dorothyfong8749 2 жыл бұрын

4 months after we got married, we opened our joint account. We have a joint checking account where all our income goes in, and after our joint expenses are paid (mortgage, car payment, phone bill etc.) and money’s set aside into our joint savings, we split what’s left to our own individual accounts. Like you said for anonymity in spending. Works for us! Love from Canada 🇨🇦

@rachelstallings5460 2 жыл бұрын

We have a joint checking and savings at a physical bank, then an online high yield savings. We didn't close out individual checking and savings (also at the same bank) until we had been together for quite a while and so many joint expenses that it didn't make sense to keep things separate. But we do run a joint budget together through YNAB. I think it's easier to keep things separate when you have lots of margin in your budget; when we went down to one income we consolidated everything so that the full financial picture is in one place.

@MarenAltman.. 2 жыл бұрын

F•o•r g•u•i•d•a•n•c•e o•n e•a•r•n•i•n•g. I•n•v•e•s•t•m•e•n•t•s w=h=a=t=s=a=p=p Expert Arielle Thompson +1~•2~•1~•3~•4~•7~•8~•5~•6~•5~•4

@mizzp7 2 жыл бұрын

I completely relate to your view on wedding dress shopping! I went a few times with family and my best friend and wasn't that interested. Ended up finding my dress for way below my budget and with my husband. Untraditional but he knows me better than anyone else and didn't push me to try on anything I wasn't comfortable with. Much better experience for me than the usual.

@AjaDang 2 жыл бұрын

I would actually prefer if Brian went with me wedding dress shopping. Trying to convince him to come with me on Sunday.

@mizzp7 2 жыл бұрын

@@AjaDang I would definitely suggest it. As much as I love my mom, friend, ect it's hard for them to take away their own basis. I ended up trying on the same two dresses the whole appointment because everyone else love them. I did not😂. Felt more like a barbie doll. Going with my husband I brought in photos of styles I really liked, tried on a handful, and was done. He's not going to remember all the details of the dress and you'll look different the day of so there's still an element of surprise.

@AliciaDoes 2 жыл бұрын

Before my husband and I got married but we lived together, we divided up our finances exactly as you said (Total bills per month covered by the percentage of income earned). Once we got married, bought a house, and knew we wanted to pay off debt we combined finances pretty much fully. We each have our own checking account and savings account for personal spending and we get an equal "allowance" each pay period. I always recommend having your own way of paying for something even if it's just to "hide" the gift you bought for your partner so you don't ruin the surprise!

@emilyzhang02 2 жыл бұрын

This is hands down the most relatable video (in my opinion) you ever posted. I love that you are real and vulnerable to what's happening in your life right now. As someone in her mid/late 30s, I also take an annual fertility test with MF. I remember feeling the same way as you do at 34 regarding not sure where my body is in regards to having kids in the future. Through my MF journey, I discovered with my husband that we are blessed to have the life we live and we are good without having any kids in the future and that's totally OK. Additionally, you were spot on the joint vs separate bank accounts. It's healthy to have your own cash but jointly pay for things like rent, groceries, and maintain joint savings without sacrificing your own independence.

@daniellebrignola1264 2 жыл бұрын

Great video Aja!!!!!

@C_Beaty 2 жыл бұрын

Your plan to start combining finances seems pretty solid. That's effectively what my husband and I do - we opened up a joint checking account that we use for paying bills, eating out money, etc., and we have our own individual savings, checking, retirement accounts, etc. We also have a joint savings account where we're saving for a down payment (fingers crossed the housing market cools off by next year!!) Good luck! ETA: I know you know this... every woman should have a private "escape fund" in a different bank that is not connected to your joint account... gods forbid for that "just in case" situation where you need to escape a bad or unsafe situation.

@lilydaquila9847 2 жыл бұрын

Find a dress that is comfy and is practical for how you move. You will look great if you feel great in it. You don't have to be all overly enthusiastic about it. Like you said, there are other aspects of planning that make you excited. You can spend more time on those! It's smart to do a fertility hormone test these days. So, thanks for walking through what you're looking at.

@katuschki 2 жыл бұрын

We do the same: we have a joint account where we contribute both for food and the stuff we share. And then we have our own accounts for the personal spendings. I like it that way. Especially if it’s two people handling money very differently…

@lizanik8541 2 жыл бұрын

I have nothing to offer except that you're gonna rock any dress you choose!! Sheesh I'm gonna cry from the wedding video aren't I

@knkk0020 2 жыл бұрын

I'm the same way as you about dresses. I took myself dress shopping and settled on the one that made me feel the most comfortable at the end of the day. Could I have gone back and tried on like 100 more, obviously, but comfort trumps all on your wedding day.

@jamiejanine4180 2 жыл бұрын

My best friend cried more than I did when she saw me in my wedding dress. My family doesn’t really show emotion either unless it’s really something crazy but even with my mom we for some reason hide our emotions lol. As long as you find something you like and don’t mind looking back on the photos & feeling like you’re super beautiful! The dress grew on me & I loved it more afterwards than before and during!

@banfff 2 жыл бұрын

Aja your mom seems so lovely!

@RosanaZeng 2 жыл бұрын

Firstly, just want to say I love your videos and have been following your journey for awhile :) Secondly, just wanted to share some of my thoughts: 1. Felt the same way about my wedding dress! Didn't really care and I actually went dress shopping by myself a couple times lol - in my city, there is a non-profit charity that collects donated wedding dresses and sells them at a fraction of the cost and all proceeds go to cancer research. Not sure if there is anything like that in your city, but it is another option (I got my dress there and donated it back afterwards). 2. My husband and I personally share 1 joint account for all joint expenses and have our own personal accounts for us to buy whatever we wanted. Maybe one option for you and Brian is to dump a lump sum amount into the joint account monthly that will cover all joint expenses (and keep a nice cushion in there for joint emergencies). Hope this helps! Good luck with your wedding planning!

@staciamj1 2 жыл бұрын

Yes and yes regarding the accounts. Keep an individual and joint

@violettababenko4847 2 жыл бұрын

the first dress was beautiful!

@jennifercunningham9118 2 жыл бұрын

We have been married for 12 years and we have 1 joint account for our bills + mortgage, and each have separate personal & savings accounts. It works super well for us and we've never had any arguments or money issues doing it this way. We split all bills 50/50.

@jenniferyongtulsiani5571 2 жыл бұрын

I've just found your channel!! It's been very helpful and good to know what other people thinks about adulting.. :D

@catrinaalexis 2 жыл бұрын

When my husband and I got married, we slowly merged our finances together. It took a couple of months to adjust and budget the way we do now. It takes time you won’t have the perfect budget initially. Percentages of incomes is helpful. We had separate checking accounts. 2 joint saving accounts. One for our emergency fund and the other for our sinking funds. If we have to buy something big etc, we ask eachother where the money will come from Aka which sinking fund. Also- even though we have separate checking accounts, we have a budget per month on groceries/necessities. And we make our own budget of how much we spend personally but that depends on the person.

@belindam3961 2 жыл бұрын

We opened a joint bank account when we first got married and put in 50% of our paychecks each. Then our finances got a little more complicated (in a good way!) and we realized we needed to contribute a bit more for a mortgage, car payment, postponed wedding, random joint expenses, and it became too much of a hassle to keep depositing random amounts at random times. So for the near future, we decided to put all of our income into our joint (post retirement investments, student debt payments, other savings) and live off that and see how it goes. We also have a joint credit card that is paid off from our joint account, so we started charging personal expenses on that card to get max points as well.

@Alexis-wh2de 2 жыл бұрын

I wore a simple dress for wedding dress shopping. The dresses can sometimes be so...involved...it was mentally a relief to just throw something on over my head.

@emilyelswick6152 2 жыл бұрын

That first dress was stunning on you!!!

@chaichai0724 2 жыл бұрын

I love your hair! it makes me wanna have bangs 😍

@alexplummer17 2 жыл бұрын

My husband and I got married last October and we combined finances this past January. Money stresses him out and I enjoy the control so it worked out well when we agreed that I would control our budget and whatnot. At Chase, we have 3 checkings and 1 savings. We’re joint on all BUT the accounts are designated as joint checking and then each of us has an individual spending account. The joint is for all bills, expenses, etc and then our spending account is for whatever we want personally, or if one puts a bal on a cc then you would pay it off out of your spending account. We have a set amount that goes into the spending accounts each pay period, and the remainder goes to the joint where I budget, pay bills, etc from there. So far this has worked really well for us! Note* we have two incomes and no kids.

@catherinemegs 2 жыл бұрын

It was cute to see your doggo in the closet with you. I think he was there for support ❤️ My goodness, adulting is hard.

@yolandayee9808 2 жыл бұрын

wedding dress shopping can be overwhelming. keep an open mind and once you find the one, you will know. I’ve tried really expensive dresses and much cheaper dresses. when i tried on “the one” I looked at the price tag and it was less than $1k and was so surprised! but i agree with you that you shouldn’t spend so much on the dress.

@aznpridebuhhd 2 жыл бұрын

I totally feel you on the whole joint account idea. I think having one joint account with your partner while still maintaining separate individual accounts is ideal. Like when I’m buying things for myself or trying to surprise him, i don’t think he should have to pay for that, right?

@aznpridebuhhd 2 жыл бұрын

Also as mentioned in a comment, there have been several times where it worked out having two separate accounts in the case of fraud!

@kylatucci 2 жыл бұрын

We have our own chequing and savings accounts for individual goals, but also have a few joint accounts. We have one joint sinking fund specifically for our bills, and a few different joint savings accounts for goals as a couple (investments, properties, vacations, etc.) It’s whatever works for your lifestyle and relationship!

@goofydumbgoofyhobtch2765 2 жыл бұрын

Been married 23 years and never combined accounts! As long as you agree to financial goals and who pays what, there is no reason to.

@becomingnursebri 2 жыл бұрын

Love this video, glad to know I am not the only one in the situation. I get married in December, me and my fiancé do not live together currently, and we have not set up a joint account yet, but we do have a budget, my fiancé is going to let me handle finances, so I will set us up a joint checking account and joint savings once we are married. We bank with USAA since my dad was in the military. I have also done modern fertility test just to get a baseline of where my hormones are, these are good adult steps and things to think about. Very necessary

@_mar_ta_ 2 жыл бұрын

Yes to the income percentages and HELL YES to the separate accounts + one joint account for bills/food/etc. In my opinion, everyone should have their own money and being married shouldn't change that.

@angelicam5813 2 жыл бұрын

My fiance and I have a shared account as well as our own individual accounts. The shared account is where our mortgage and shared bills come from. This works for us and we like it.

@VibrantViews 2 жыл бұрын

Talk about the universe speaking to you. I'm 34 (35 next month) and was just looking at at-home fertility test kits. Welp, placing my order today. 🤞🏽 Thanks, Aja!

@AjaDang 2 жыл бұрын

read the instructions!

@reba2876 2 жыл бұрын

We did a step approach where we opened a joint account and started depositing our income to it and paying bills out of it, but kept our individual Ones for a few months. It ended up being easier to manage out if one account for us and our financial situation didn’t start clicking until we moved 100% to our joint account. Married 8 years and financially the best we have ever been: investing, saving, and budgeting together.

@DajahArceo 2 жыл бұрын

I am currently divorced, but when we were married. I had an individual checking/savings account. My ex husband had only the joint checking/savings account we shared. The reason it was like this was because I was the more financially responsible of us both, so he trusted me to manage both our incomes. However, I will say this was mentally exhausting. Being the only one "thinking" about the bills, savings for trips or holidays, or general spending was a huge mental toll. It also became a pain point whenever he wanted to buy something & I said "no". Not because I didn't want him to spend money on his own but because we didn't have the money to spend & he didn't realize that since he paid no attention to any of it. In the future I would definitely opt for what you're considering & what others have mentioned below. Have a joint checking/saving/CC for joint family spending & still EACH maintain your own individual checking/saving/etc accounts to share that responsibility. I think % based contributions are a great idea to keep it as "fair" as possible in regards to each of you. And allow each other to manage their own spending for other things so the mental toll isn't on one of you to track.

@Dmarie1078 2 жыл бұрын

When we got engaged we just combined everything into one account. In that account we have our business account & personal account. We both have cards & do a budget meeting each week.

@stupidsmartperson 2 жыл бұрын

I talked with my boyfriend about combining finances when we get married. We sat down and figured out our combined monthly expenses and goals (not including taxes, healthcare, and retirement because those expenses are taken out before we receive our paychecks). So after we get our paychecks we decided to dump all of the expenses in a joint checking, and joint goal money into a joint savings. Then the rest of our incomes will go into our individual accounts for fun for whatever we want to buy or save for individually.

@pheonixtales 2 жыл бұрын

We have our own personal accounts and we transfer a percentage across to a joint account. This fluctuates dependent on how much we got paid and also monthly expenses. The joint account pays for bills (utilities, food, baby etc) and our personal accounts are for our own use. Hope that is helpful!

@christinemitchell6210 2 жыл бұрын

Love all your honesty about yourself! My husband and I have been very happily married for 7 years and together for 10. We have never combined our bank accounts. We have kept our old accounts and we just developed and unsaid understanding of what one pays for what. There is no dividing of shared anything. He pays for his personal bills and I pay for mine. He takes care of all household expenses (rent, utilities, groceries, eating out). I take care of our son’s tuition, clothes and such, all sinking funds for holidays and our savings. We as a couple have one goal. There is no mine and yours but it’s all ours. We just never nit-picked. We were married at ages 35 and 36. I had our son at almost 38 years old. I was once married before without any past children. It just works for us. Remember that personal finance is personal. Do what works for you. Things may change down the road so roll with the punches and change things that work best at that time. Xoxo

@ajadang1585 2 жыл бұрын

That's nice if it actually works for you keep it up *Thanks for the feedback hope the video helps you in your endeavors I have something I would like to introduce you to feel free to text me for more enlightenment..📥𝟷𝟿𝟸𝟶𝟼𝟾𝟿𝟹𝟸𝟿𝟻

@jessicaalger4525 2 жыл бұрын

Your idea for a joint account for expenses sounds great! For now I just add up all of our expenses for the month ahead, divide it in half and my boyfriend sends me that amount. Then as bills need to be paid, groceries bought, I just pay for them out of my account.

@randi17888 2 жыл бұрын

I know most people don’t do it this way these days, but my husband and i joined our accounts together ever since we got engaged. Neither of us have separate accounts. I understand why most people choose not to do this for security and independence reasons, but for me personally I love it and wouldn’t have it any other way. We have the same money goals that we agree on and contribute to the same investment accounts and worked on paying off our debt together at the beginning of our marriage. I love being on a team with our finances and always working on things together. I hear a lot of coworkers and friends have disagreements about finances with their partners (and they separate everything). My parents have always shared everything as well and it always worked for them, but they are still married and I know that is unrealistic to expect for everyone. My husband and I know that if something ever happened that we would both be comfortable splitting things 50/50. We have been married for 7 years now and that’s what works for us. I think everyone’s situation is different.

@erinlovescoffee 2 жыл бұрын

My husband and I have separate spending bank accounts and one joint bank account where major bills go out of. Love that the puppy was in the closet with you 😂

@letaek 2 жыл бұрын

Same here. Having ones own money is so important.

@Alexa-qn6ke 2 жыл бұрын

My husband and I just gave joint accounts because we know what the budget is and talk before big purchases so there wasn’t a reason to have own accounts, but I know that’s not so for my parents primarily because my dad owns his own business, so of course he knows the costs and the taxes and all of that, so I’d say: if there’s a reason you need to keep certain money set aside, like small business taxes or anything, keep accounts just for you for purposes like that. Otherwise, a joint account and budget can be bonding I think! A way to encourage communication and trust even more.

@jenniestott5694 2 жыл бұрын

We have multiple joint accts. I do all our finances so it's easiest for me to see everything across the board when I'm budgeting. Basically like you, 'just gotta tell him what's up and he's down with it'. We've talked about about how much he needs for whatever man stuff he does (gaming nerd), but otherwise I do the shopping/budgeting/etc. because its easy for me and I enjoy it.

@tangifangledangle 2 жыл бұрын

Defo keep separate accounts as well as joint! I think this seems to be more common for couples (esp when the woman be workin’). Gives you best of both worlds of personal freedom & combined goals you work towards

@emiliabolsas 2 жыл бұрын

Buying a home with a Chase mortgage when I already had Chase accounts made the process quite a bit easier. While their savings rates are “meh,” I have been very, very happy with my financial advisor and related benefits like no ATM fees. I have a separate online banking account with another institution for savings and some unrelated investment accounts, too.

@ptl10 2 жыл бұрын

your skin looks amazing in this video! what lotion do you use?

@elliekirk7219 2 жыл бұрын

So my husband and I do 30% into a joint that pays mortgage and household bills. Whatever is left over adds to our emergency fund and sometimes when it gets high we use it for whatever we want once it exceeds 6 months of savings. Each of us have a personal savings at 20% and checking 25% and 15% into retirement currently. Works well for us. We work together with the house and house maintenance but still have our own money to save and spend it’s nice. We do change these numbers sometimes depending on what we need or if we are working toward something

@jshima12 2 жыл бұрын

My husband and I do exactly that with our finances. We have one joint account for bills and we each contribute to it based on percentage of household income. When we started this (pre-marriage), it was because not only was I making more money at the time, he also had student loans, and I did not. We each continue to have our own separate checking/savings accounts to do whatever with, and for us, it's works perfectly! Also, I was the exact same way about wedding dress shopping! 😂😂 Everything will figure itself out in the end!

@heatherbrown4726 2 жыл бұрын

Yes 🙌 I am also looking for advice on how to combine income smartly. Recently married my husband and I both own homes that we separately pay for.

@slp619 2 жыл бұрын

Your plan sounds good! 2 separate accts for fun and 1 joint Acct. It’s nice to have separate accts when you are getting gifts for eachother & the percentages and the amount you put is a good idea. You can have eachothers log ins for your retirement also

@ajadang1585 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the review I'll love to introduce you to something big feel free to text me for me enlightenment📥𝟷𝟿𝟸𝟶𝟼𝟾𝟿𝟹𝟸𝟿𝟻

@LaBelleFilleModeling 2 жыл бұрын

Your adulting video is literally everything on my mind right now. The bf and I are trying to figure out getting married, when to have a kid and literally last night signed up for a joint bank account. (All while trying to find him a job in the field he just got his degree in). Its nice to see someone in my age bracket thinking of having kids though. I was a little worried that a year or two from now would just be too late and I want a year of being married before having a kid....

@jessicathao 2 жыл бұрын

I’ve heard couples have a joint account where both incomes go in there and bills get paid from the joint, then they transfer what’s needed to their own separate accounts for their own goal savings/usage(retirement/secret birthday holiday gifts). I plan to do this in the near future with my spouse.

@MissBlueButterfly28 2 жыл бұрын

My husband and I have been together for 12 years and living together for 7. Since we moved in together we have one joint account and keep the rest of our money separate. We each contribute equally to the account. I would prefer to do percentages but my husband wants it to be the same amount, I am also the higher earner. We now also have a joint credit card that is paid for by the joint bank account. It makes it so simple if we need to buy something for the house it just goes to the joint account and thats how we know its fair.

@jlw8273 2 жыл бұрын

my husband and i have our own accounts, but we also have a joint savings and joint chequing account. we each contribute enough money into these accounts to cover our joint bills and sinking funds and we do it proportionally based on our take home income. it works well for us.

@TianTianYouNi 2 жыл бұрын

What has worked for my partner and I over the last few years is we decided what are shared expenses would be, determine what are some goals we want to save towards to figure out how much we need to fund our joint account. We then split the funding down the middle equally instead of %. Both of us make similar incomes however with this method we mitigate any potential negative feelings one person might have etc. We also reevaluate every year or two as we update our goals. We also have joint investment account as well which is funded by the excess funds in our joint account. We also have separate personal accounts to give ourselves a sense of freedom. I’m also more financially savvy than my partner and I handle his retirement contributions etc. We talk through what makes sense and what’s beneficial. I hold his hand in those decisions but want to ensure he’s mindful of those decisions that are being made. We preferred the equal dollars approach because it allows the individual to then manage personal expenses while being mindful of the responsibilities we share.

@delilah9974 2 жыл бұрын

ohh you talking about Brian and getting his ishhh together is so relatable XD

@arthrodea 2 жыл бұрын

I thought the dress at 3:04 was incredibly beautiful and flattering your shape. ❤

@veritystothard1664 2 жыл бұрын

I had to order my wedding dress online because Australia is in lockdown at the moment, it arrived yesterday and I am in LOVE 😍 getting married in August next year!

@AjaDang 2 жыл бұрын

wow - you're really ahead of the wedding game! so glad to hear that you love your dress!