Humans: *decides what is and isn't a war crime* Also humans: "It's never a war crime the first time..."
@kerbalairforce8802 Жыл бұрын
Quackbang out
@Iosaef Жыл бұрын
"It's not a war crime if war hasn't been declared yet"
@giin97 Жыл бұрын
I mean yeah, that's pretty obvious.
@ommsterlitz1805 Жыл бұрын
"Germany using poisonous gas, targeting and shelling of civilians and USA using flamethrower, napalm and nukes be like" : 👀
@KP-dy1yq11 ай бұрын
"It's not a war crime if nobody finds out"
@jacoblee2846 Жыл бұрын
When humans looked at the universe and thought, "Reality looks nice, now where's the 426th dimension?"
@damiennightmaresx7950 Жыл бұрын
now thinking of the term "glassing a planet" is "so 16000 years ago my dude" and then we have "dusting a planet" which out of context doesnt sound so bad till u know the context and are like "OH DEAR GOD-"
@Wastelandman7000 Жыл бұрын
So be it...
@hamsta11 Жыл бұрын
well... maybe the author didn't intend it but since these are silicon based lifeforms then like how carbon based lifeforms expel CO2, silicon ones would expel a form of silicon dust, almost like sand. So the dust around the planet would likely be the deconstructed remains of a significant number of that aliens' peoples. not likely what the author intended but from a chemistry standpoint thats what would happen if there were actually silicon-based life forms.
@damiennightmaresx7950 Жыл бұрын
@@hamsta11 reminds me of the {sorry if this is a random tidbit] but of how the gems from steven universe react to human jewelery considering since thats basicaally a necklace of hearts just on a chain/string for fancy human to wear-
@KP-dy1yq11 ай бұрын
@@hamsta11I'm relieved I'm not the only science geek that thought that 😅
@lumberluc11 ай бұрын
Glassing a planet send the message "Nothing personal". Dusting a planet... that 2 degrees above "Nothing personal" and below "You just made it personal". The "You made it personal" can only be resolved one way, not with blood and gore and viscera. No, no, that's still "Nothing Personal". The "Personal" Realm, DNA deconstruction. A slow, yet effective, method of murder that the species starts to crumble before their own eyes, year by year. First, it starts with the lost of feeling in limbs, followed by nerves no longer working. Muscles start atrophying, followed by calcification of the skin. By a certain year mark, no births given, and most of the population is dusted. Most intakes are unsatisfactory and the population scrambles to find a cure. Little to they know, that their entire code is corrupted and finding new code to be capable with theirs is God-Territory. By the time something of a semblance of a cure is found, 99% of the species population is dust, and the 1% is infertile. Amazing what humans can come up with, when we're angry
@lumberluc11 ай бұрын
Getting chased by the EDS "You asked for it" has to be the most intimidating and hilarious thing in space you can encounter
@lornbaker1083 Жыл бұрын
heh... We fired a cluthulu scale weapon. We literally shattered reality with madness. the elder gods would be so proud of us for weaponizing time.
8 ай бұрын
Elder Gods "They grow up so fast" wipe a tear away.
@anadaere68615 ай бұрын
"Your investments to that human in Rhode islands worked" "Yup, its great"
@ICountFrom0 Жыл бұрын
To quote, "How I learned to love the bomb" ... "What good is a doomsday device if you don't tell anybody about it?".
@ThoriberoCaroli Жыл бұрын
Well, as you know, the premier loves surprises...
@lindaorr18056 ай бұрын
Yea just don't pull a Saddam Hussein and claim you have the ability to really f up your neighbors then Truck your abilities across the border
@donaldscholand4617 Жыл бұрын
When the humans learn about the rogue planet: "Huh! We wondered where we'd left that one ... Great! Now our collection is complete! Now, about that piracy..."
@vexile1239 Жыл бұрын
Well considering they only took the supplies to keep themselves alive and I'm guessing here did not game end their victims, it is tolerable and not worthy of total annihilation
@donaldscholand4617 Жыл бұрын
@@vexile1239 Perhaps a strongly worded letter? 😉
@chrislaf89 Жыл бұрын
It sounds like Humanity doesn't have an issue with just basic piracy. Sounds like they're so far ahead in the game resource wise, they would rather people take what they need if they are desperate enough to resort to such actions. It's only when you start actively doing it for gains beyond survival that they have issues, and those that do so probably don't exist for very long after they are found to do so. I feel like all the other races will go ask Humanity about this, and they'll be like, "Yea, want to see the recordings?"
@zambekiller Жыл бұрын
@@donaldscholand4617maybe delivered by rail gun to the pirates front door step
@dragonkidkai5330 Жыл бұрын
@@chrislaf89 From how I saw it the first thing that really pissed off humanity was when they killed unarmed civilians when committing the piracy, not just piracy for personal gain.
@adrianbowen4024 Жыл бұрын
Orbiting the dead planet a behemoth watched the lone ship slip into hyperspace with its newfound message. As soon as the ship was out of range the behemoth powered on, its ancient engines glowing brightly as it’s frame shook off the cosmic dust that had built up over thousands of cycles. As it lurched forward leaving the dead world behind a single light was visible upon its hull. It read two words “ *unbridled retribution* “
@TheMonkey747 Жыл бұрын
Ooh, yes! Edit: possible edit, 'As it lurched forward, leaving the dead world behind, a single light was visible on it's hull, illuminating two words, 'Unbridled Retribution'.
@adrianbowen4024 Жыл бұрын
@@TheMonkey747 Anytime mate
@nevyn_karres Жыл бұрын
Hehe of course it did :)
@merlinathrawes74611 ай бұрын
Oooohh! I like it!
@Shinobubu7 ай бұрын
It has a license plate. FAFO.
@TheAmbex Жыл бұрын
Me, a Canadian, glad to hear our Geneva Checklist survives far into the future 😅
@legionx40463 ай бұрын
Canadians are walking war crimes 😂
@arandomsystemglitch23982 ай бұрын
Of course it does if it didn't almost every war everyone would be reminded why its needed because the fucking Canadians forgot to leave a fight for the rest of us and "glassed" 9 planets and 3 of them were accidental
@arandomsystemglitch23982 ай бұрын
Since yt be is here ill add with this but because intelligence on our selves is just that great no one actually rember if those planets existed or not the 3 that were acientendal
@CyrusViers2 күн бұрын
it isn't a war crime the first time
@rensdehaan3754 Жыл бұрын
We try to avoid war at all costs, but once it starts a human truly becomes a human. Once a war starts our most primal urges kick in and no length is too great to protect ourselves.
@quinnhasse9170 Жыл бұрын
Whi needs protection when everything else is either ash or ir dead
@jaysonwalker42348 ай бұрын
@@quinnhasse9170humanity has a built in need to survive. If survival has to be made by total eradication of a species humans will do it. This is probably our most defining instinct.
@lordgalesdeep7 ай бұрын
@quinnhasse9170 we don't need protection, they need protection from us. It's why humanity(In space) always seem to try the options of peace first since we know the savage cleansing fire that burns within our history.
@ThatOneDude8008511 ай бұрын
“They gave up their goods without a fight, so they were seen as weak” them fuckers probably had insurance. They were like “why would I die for this I’m gonna get a payday!”
@roberine72416 ай бұрын
"I am not getting payed enough to care"
@leyrua4 ай бұрын
Given the implication that humanity was doing fine even when other species were struggling, they could probably afford the losses without suffering much harm.
@polyblank217 күн бұрын
"We getting robbed?! LETSFUCKINGGOOOOOOOOOOO"
@zobius919110 ай бұрын
I love how the vibe of humanity in these stories is "Fuck around and find out.".
@veljkomilic8624 Жыл бұрын
Rest of the world calls it Geneva convention,here in the Balkans we call it a casual weekend
@jacknedry3925 Жыл бұрын
Oh no...
@dusanradin5868 Жыл бұрын
Misliš na povremene smernice iz Ženeve?
@MistyShadowsXX_Valdemar Жыл бұрын
*Ethnic cleansing intensifies*
@whiterabbit758 ай бұрын
Ah, the eminent You Asked For It. Sister ship to the inexorable You Had This Coming, both coming from the famed The Consequences Of Your Own Actions line.
@bradymenting5120 Жыл бұрын
watch out for the human flagship: the "Kowabunga it is"
@GabrielMoura-gt9jb Жыл бұрын
When the Geneva convention becomes the Geneva suggestion
@kennetth1389 Жыл бұрын
Yes it is true, Perceived weakness invites hostility, Just as true weakness invites hostility.
@Wastelandman7000 Жыл бұрын
But showing your true strength also invites hostility. Looking at what humanity had up its sleeve, we'd scare everyone into an alliance against us. Keeping it low key may loose an occasional cargo, but, its still cheaper than all out war. So there could be good reasons for keeping everything on the down low.
@hanzzel6086 Жыл бұрын
@@Wastelandman7000I don't think Humanity really cared/cares about the materials being taken, especially by those in need. It was only once they started killing unnecessarily that they took notice.
@mikkelnpetersen9 ай бұрын
Humans: "So be it" Aliens: "We're f*cked"
@Mugthraka11 ай бұрын
Aliens fucks with humanity Humanity : So you have chosen death
@merlinathrawes74611 ай бұрын
Were I the aliens, I would listen to these messages and ask the Humans for a copy of their Geneva Conventions, study them, then beg humanity to be included as signatories to it.
@rianmacdonald945410 ай бұрын
Now, that is a good idea. You know soon as the first done that, and was under humanities protect - how long before every one asked the same. There you go INSTANT PEACE AT THE POINT OF A SWORD.
@christopherbravo1813 Жыл бұрын
I find it kinda amusing that the straw that broke the camel's back in this instance was a planet named after a literal *child.*
@brigidtheirish10 ай бұрын
Makes sense, though. No faster way to get every human in the area to go rabid protector than to hurt a child.
@christopherbravo181310 ай бұрын
@@brigidtheirish the planet wasn't a child. it was named after a kid-specifically a spoiled brat who acts like her life is so miserable despite being more well-off than at least 90% of the planet's population and yet gets showered with media attention. at least, I assume that's who the planet was named for. I can't think of any other "Greta"s that are all that important.
@paulhartman56838 ай бұрын
Greta may not refer to the climate activist Greta Thunberg. It is or was a common name derived from Margret. Both Heinlein and Asimov have used it in their books, both as character names as well as names of places.
@piedpiper1185 Жыл бұрын
'You asked for it' and 'The gloves are off'. I see the author is a fan of The Culture books.
@Eboreg211 ай бұрын
"The Ura-Dranish scout ship Fraga then turned away from the desolate rogue planet with new understanding. Not just of a past they never knew they had but of a future that they vowed to never squander again."
@peanutbuttersketches Жыл бұрын
Humans really went, "You call that messing with reality?"
@gmailquinn Жыл бұрын
take to heart: there will be bloodshed, we can choose to be monsters
@Allantitan Жыл бұрын
And you can choose to surrender. The sooner you do the better off you are
@Wastelandman7000 Жыл бұрын
Yep. WWI, WWII, Pol Pot, Stalin's purges, examples abound of what happens if we don't keep the beast under control.
@Raganui Жыл бұрын
To semi-quote General Tullius - You started this war, now we're going to put you down, and restore the peace.
@anaughtymoose Жыл бұрын
The interperative dance troupe is just killing it lately. Maybe it is the set design?
@kerwinbrown4180 Жыл бұрын
Technological superiority is nice. Poor intelligence on you for is bad while arrogance leads to destruction.
@chrislaf89 Жыл бұрын
I mean, it's quite apparent that Humanity has kept this secret for a long time before this war, and somehow over 8 thousand cycles, no one remembers that war. Seems like humans are the very adept at making sure such information is kept out of everyone's databases, but the purpose of this was to allow others to know what happens when you fuck with humans. You play stupid games, you win....a dusty planet.
@Darkwintre Жыл бұрын
The ship captain finally turned off the recording. "Goodbye Father," he muttered to the shock of the others.
@TheMonkey747 Жыл бұрын
Ooh, that's a good one!
@Cadiangrunt99 Жыл бұрын
i love that twist
@allenmorgan1007 Жыл бұрын
For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Disembodied Voice!
@labella9291 Жыл бұрын
Worth energy!!!!
@kerbalairforce8802 Жыл бұрын
Blood for the blood god, skulls for the skull throne, corn for the cornflakes!
@tonycrayford38939 ай бұрын
I've lost count how many times this has shown up on my recommended and also how many times I've clicked on it. 😅
@leonardnorling3769 Жыл бұрын
Congratulations on 60 thousand subscribers Agro!
@xRa01 Жыл бұрын
I have heard this one before... I would love to hear a response from the other races thought of the message
@orionstickguard790 Жыл бұрын
Re: Humanity What's this we hear about a Geneva convention? Re: Galactic Council Attached are the documents you asked for. Have a good day.
@Wastelandman7000 Жыл бұрын
Probably something along the lines of "Oh shit."
@number-1411 ай бұрын
@@Wastelandman7000Now they know humanity with a single ship was able to do that to the home planet, and honestly with a singular shipped they can drop Lee decimate an entire solar system. Ignoring what they can do with warp drive, and the extreme ability of their ships in addition to the shields- which just the publicly known Shields are the best around. Which leaves the implication that like all the other stuff, the concealed human shields would be all so far above anything else. They would probably be terrified, not want to let humanity mail because of fear, and they're probably going to try and avoid humans. If you suddenly found out that someone or broadman sake some species inhabiting your town was able to destroy the entire continent if it wanted to. How far away will you go away from this thing without question, how little would you want to interact with it, how little would you want to even be remotely near its state? Also humanity might be considered a threat that no military action should be taken towards whatsoever, which should anything like this happen-even though they've already been proven to be soft targets for piracy.
@literalsarcasm1830 Жыл бұрын
"Those who come to us with the sword, by the sword they shall perish"
@jackjohnstone2426 Жыл бұрын
Good story-but the stories where humans conceal their power level also confuse me. Demonstrating weakness invites aggression. Humans might have avoided conflict by not being so dead set on avoiding conflict.
@an_egg_cultist Жыл бұрын
I see this as confusing as well. My intuition believes it to mean humanity wants this to happen, like a cruel joke, but in the end it likely is just because the writing process isn't fully thought out.
@Iceangel19 Жыл бұрын
The term drawing fire comes to mind. Perhaps they are appearing weak so that the truly weak aren't victimized and the bullies are found out and punished. They also probably don't want to be perceived that way, and they might have elements of their history where stuff has happened and this led to the care they took to not actually wipe out the offending species in this story.
@erankaguri8621 Жыл бұрын
I agree. Look at the Shaolin monks. They are pacifists but they do not shy away from they'd do to you if you FIFO.
@ODST626 Жыл бұрын
Walk softly but carry a big stick.
@christopherbravo1813 Жыл бұрын
"Appear strong when you are weak and appear weak when you are strong."
@nooneyouknow6539 Жыл бұрын
Love hearing these stories while working but there was one story I cannot find where aliens invade earth and kill a child and the entire planet goes genocidal on the aliens
@tcp30596 ай бұрын
"We Thought Wrong" is the one you seek, I believe.
@RealArcalian Жыл бұрын
Greetings Mentlegent! For the Rhythm that is Algo I was gonna say "We got Death Stars" but it turns out we have multi-timeline TARDISes instead
@achimdemus-holzhaeuser12337 ай бұрын
Rythm is a danca
@GnarledStaff Жыл бұрын
What I took from this is that 2 chances are generally enough.
@keithmays8076 Жыл бұрын
I love the fact that the ship was called "The Gloves Are Off." Makes me wish they built the U.S.S. The Gloves Are Off or the U.S.S. You Asked For It in response to 9/11. It would be so poetic.
@nighthawk4502 Жыл бұрын
The real reason for that week long delay was to determine if there were any dessert tortoise on their home planet.
@Maddog3060 Жыл бұрын
Ah yes, the Total Perspective Vortex.
@xavierspirit1811 Жыл бұрын
It’s not a war crime if you had a fun time
@jabberwock25177 ай бұрын
It's all fun and games until your home world gets dusted.
@RichardX110 ай бұрын
The sea in a storm, a night with no moon, and the fury of a gentle man.
@matthewklestinski7030 Жыл бұрын
Future Humanity is quite pithy. If the object lesson is of a sufficient magnitude, it cannot be ignored.
@yomogami4561 Жыл бұрын
thank the heavens that the scout ship spread the word. imagine if humanity could extend the lifespan 1000yrs [8000yrs ago] what they could do now
@dusanradin5868 Жыл бұрын
We could expand our lifetime to 1000 yrs now,with current scientific level.
@GabrielArchon Жыл бұрын
@@dusanradin5868 While plausible, also, what kind of quality of life would that be at our current level?
@dusanradin5868 Жыл бұрын
@@GabrielArchon Dont ask me,my live quality,right now is shitty,at best,but given the chance of prolong it by few thousands of years,and tech to live on some other world(or even on a fleet) quality would probably be better than today. Not neccesary,but,still.Can you imagine yourself living as long as an Asari,or longer?
@Darqshadow9 ай бұрын
@dusanradin5868 I would only accept this kind of Tech as long as all people have access to it. If only the elites do, that opens up a can of worms
@KroMagnum4 Жыл бұрын
Fek around and soon find out.
@generalknowledge603 Жыл бұрын
Aliens: humans are weak traders and peace makers not warriors. Hitler to Satin: the Kisar thaught us the same thing in the Great War. Australians: Satin I want a resupply and you to make these weapons for us. Satin: Jesus what the hell? Australians: Is there a problem. Satin: No no probelm Rommel never thought you would acually take hell it was a joke. Australians: Rommel was a fool then.
@matthewgibbs6886 Жыл бұрын
these remind me of the mankizn wars. the reason humans were pacifists was due to the fact we were so very very good at war.
@nevyn_karres Жыл бұрын
Hehe "You Asked For It" a perfect Iain Banks ship name :)
@piedpiper1185 Жыл бұрын
And 'The Gloves Are Off'. Culture Minds are running humanity's ships.
@Maid-to-kill Жыл бұрын
"Noah's Ark" has really changed since last I read it.
@tristanmorrow64479 ай бұрын
I love how this one implies humans are an ancient race that acts like a young one with young races hahaha
@NorninTGK7 ай бұрын
Humanity: "How do you do fellow civilizations?"
@BobLazier-zk8gi7 ай бұрын
Imagine a couple months after we actually make first contact and an alien sees a hfy human story.
@dealerofic3cream1 Жыл бұрын
Alien: why I'm hearing boss music
@sigurdbattenberg1523 Жыл бұрын
Great stories ! keep it up
@cedric3973 Жыл бұрын
I love that ship model in the aquarium
@MartyrPandaGaming11 ай бұрын
It's interesting how most people view the Geneva Conventions. Most people view it as a list of the worst human atrocities to commit in war. Canadians see it as a cot dam Score Board. That knowledge has been the only thing keeping the U.S. back from 1812 Part 2: Electric Boogaloo. Those who know, know Canada is still posting numbers on the GCs.
@ealtar Жыл бұрын
mehhh to be honest i was expecting more of "the checklist"
@rianmacdonald945410 ай бұрын
Could of easily expanded the war stories. Way too many choices could of been done with this story. Still an excellent little story.
@xinf4mousx428 Жыл бұрын
My only problem is that humans waited so long and gave them so many chances, doesn’t sound like humans to me
@hanzzel6086 Жыл бұрын
These humans seem extremely culturally (and probably genetically) advanced. Making the delay between "fuck around" and "find out' believable to me
@gamerplays513110 ай бұрын
Probably to prevent internal strife and organize a casus belli, because sure humanity can erase an entire space empire but the issue is if the other half of humanity decides they don't like what the other half is doing and then proceed to enact a war in heaven.
@rianmacdonald945410 ай бұрын
NO they sound like they have finally learnt.
@Attaxalotl5 ай бұрын
Piracy Insurance is one heck of a thing
@DaddyHensei10 ай бұрын
That reality breaker weapon was prob designed by a weeb trying to isekai themselves.
@darkraiderph4739 Жыл бұрын
Humanity is literally fuck around and find out
@midgetydeath10 ай бұрын
And that was nothing we did to our “allies” who abandoned us when we were attacked. We have a special way with traitors.
@seanrobert9661 Жыл бұрын
[documented contact]
@vd780 Жыл бұрын
Xenos be gangsta until exterminatus is ordered
@Avigorus5 ай бұрын
NGL the temporal warfare bit has me puzzled because just manipulating spacetime to accelerate an asteroid from a distance shouldn't be jack... now if he'd targeted a ship and made it and all of those aboard experience a few centuries of entropic acceleration, like some sort of reverse time dilation that paralyzed the ship while it and all those aboard got aged to hell (and after a few centuries not even children born on the ship to the crew after they realized they weren't escaping on their own would still be around unless it had an absurd population and ludicrous reliability, redundancies, and/or spare parts), that I could see being temporal warfare. I just can't see what amounts to a warp catapult that happens to use the 4th axis counting...
@hollowpoint16466 ай бұрын
The Geneva Checklist 😂
@LRMc-jn3pb17 күн бұрын
Agreed.....just saying.....
@giarnovanzeijl399 Жыл бұрын
This humanity is fucking idiotic for inviting the aggression like this. That said, the narration is good.
@markeustace199 Жыл бұрын
somewhere Issac Asimov is grinning like a loon with these sci fi stories note: he wasn't just a sci fi writer, seriously check out his massive book of naughty limericks & rhymes😋
@Jasontrower-rundle Жыл бұрын
Apparently the console they left had no instructions on how to avoid run on sentences. Not a bad story, worst grammar and reading I've heard since leaving primary school.
@diego2112gaming10 ай бұрын
Ah yeah... the Geneva Suggestions!
@goldosprey8 ай бұрын
Third mistake, doing colony drops. Fourth mistake using nukes and chemical weapons
@victortahlor4038 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for the reading
@trwsandford7 ай бұрын
I’m pretty sure I saw Hecklefish swim by at some point! I didn’t see Gurdy though, she must be visiting relatives.
@yuuuuupp Жыл бұрын
This is amazing thank you
@jonku Жыл бұрын
What a great story
@yuuuuupp Жыл бұрын
My new addiction lmao
@DeezNuts-kl2te7 ай бұрын
this is better than Warhammer 20k
@Banzai_-xn8ip9 ай бұрын
when the canadians conquer earth
@reggattobonner44517 ай бұрын
Will never make it to far the signal no gigercoumter
@archer_of_azure Жыл бұрын
Multiple third and fourth mistakes
@blazecordell9353 Жыл бұрын
this story is basically a rewritten story of the human-forerunner conflict in halo lore
@seanjackson3051 Жыл бұрын
'how dare you!'
@genericuser984 Жыл бұрын
cool
@einyv9 ай бұрын
Great story
@alanblack6500 Жыл бұрын
Damn! That was good.
@AKUJIVALDO Жыл бұрын
Half million Behemoths LOL Made immortal by nanomachines, yet dies because he recorded "acceptable" "story"... Pfff
@elfeater1760 Жыл бұрын
For the Algorithm11!
@asandrewsilvaw Жыл бұрын
For the algorithm
@klappstock943 Жыл бұрын
For the Algorithm the story and the voice
@notbob82528 ай бұрын
Instead of making fallout 4 they should have just made a movie about the books that fallout 4 were based off of Deathlands
@keithreinsel78426 ай бұрын
This one is a little too wild and out there for me with the technology, and took me totally out of the story. Neat concept though.
@jazzk407216 күн бұрын
Greta? Sounds familiar. 😂😂
@rosebloodwater13 Жыл бұрын
🌻
@xzenitramx66610 ай бұрын
The pacifists thst spend their lives killing their own kin.
@Ibian666 Жыл бұрын
Geneva stories are becoming a bit overrepresented. Space is bigger than that.
@dantreadwell7421 Жыл бұрын
Hmm, 10% or 1%. . .
@Matcha_Kawaii Жыл бұрын
They're is only one emotion in these videos and it's the wrong one... 😂