"They'll build a metal planet and throw it at you." That's a pretty good line, lol
@nathansmith9104 Жыл бұрын
Humans: And I’ll fucking do it again!
@danijelandroid Жыл бұрын
We are "rock" throwers after all.😎
@jonnypena7651 Жыл бұрын
Humanity is metal
@Torthak Жыл бұрын
named Dahak
@findiwindles Жыл бұрын
Human: Glass my home and I'll show you glass houses.
@silvadelshaladin Жыл бұрын
This is a potential major problem with space warfare -- defense seems MUCH harder than offense. It is hard to protect a planet.
@imperialinquisitor510 Жыл бұрын
Anything in a fixed orbit is target practice. Static defence vs mobile offense always goes one way.
@silvadelshaladin Жыл бұрын
@@imperialinquisitor510 Essentially living on planets could become impractical.
@Furzkampfbomber Жыл бұрын
@@silvadelshaladin I remember a sci-fi novel, although I can't remember its name atm for the life of me, where even living near suns might become impractical. The scenario was a galaxy full of life, with many species hat had developed FTL in relatively (pun not intented) recent times. Apparently there was a galaxy wide war that got many older species wiped out. One surviving old species/culture chose to live on rogue or artificial planets in deep space, using a number of very small artificial suns to keep them inhabitable and no one really knew why. Then humans find some kind of 'galactic treasure chest' conveniently lying around that gives them access to incredibly advanced technologies, amongst them a much better, fast FTL drive. The old species wants it burried and forgotten, trying to warn everyone that this tech is dangerous and that no one would let this kind of tech just lie around for everyone to find. And no one listens. In the end it turns out that this cool FTL tech can be weaponised very easily and used to make suns go supernova. And the inevitable happens, it does not take long and the first civilisations start to go extinct in a chain reaction of attacks and counter attacks, with the galaxy getting illuminated by the glare of supernovas. Which then explains why this one older and wiser species stays the hell away from natural suns. And when talking about planets, well, if you want to conquer them, because you want to colonise and inhabit them yourself, things might get a bit more complicated, but otherwise, you just need to throw rocks at them. 'The Expanse' just showed it perfectly, there is no real defense, there is no escape, all you do is to say your prayers and try to die with some dignity.
@giarnovanzeijl399 Жыл бұрын
The greatest defense you have in space is decentralisation. Everything would be so scattered and diffuse that any threat would struggle to get far due to sheer weight of scale. A planet is vulnerable, a dyson swarm is too much.
@jaimeosbourn3616 Жыл бұрын
@@giarnovanzeijl399 Or you have the fleet of worlds from Niven's known space stories.
@stevedixon921 Жыл бұрын
Story 1: It's not a weapon...its a mining platform. So what if we can dial up the power to crack a planet in one shot. Everyone knows you have break the shell to get at the nougat in the center anyway.
@electricheisenberg5723 Жыл бұрын
When the nougat is titanium, though… Also would not a series of ships launched from the platform make more sense? Beam would seem a complete waste.
@runeberg6514 Жыл бұрын
StarDispurser, overkill for planet cracking 😂🎉
@SiegeTF Жыл бұрын
Meanwhile on the other side of the planet: 'Reforged in battle; I have shed the weakness of my flesh.' 'You... have become one with the Omnisiah.' 'Take my hand.' 'I will walk with you.' '(Untranslatable) Deathworlders...'
@zacharyhawley1693 Жыл бұрын
I mean a death star would be a fitting deterrent. 😅
@TrueFork Жыл бұрын
don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed...
@Mger47TheGamePegasus Жыл бұрын
Did we build a dearhstar?! 😮
@johnpisciotto7115 Жыл бұрын
Yep
@renaissancepress247 Жыл бұрын
Even better it sounds like
@timehunter4230 Жыл бұрын
I think the question is: Why wouldn't we build a deathstar?
@blockmg9425 Жыл бұрын
I think we did
@raptor22o90 Жыл бұрын
ROSES ARE RED, OUR PLANET IS BLUE, I'M SENDING A MOON INTO YOU.
@JRMshadow260a Жыл бұрын
ROFLMFAO!!! As a former naval sailor I can almost resemble that.. Just, I was already married... LOL
@ealtar Жыл бұрын
i'm surprised they got the rare llimited "glory" of glassing earth, doesn't happen every day
@jaimeosbourn3616 Жыл бұрын
can only happen once
@zharpain Жыл бұрын
@@jaimeosbourn3616 technically it can happen more then once if we terraform it every time it happens. The main issue is whether or not we have genetic blueprints for all the flora and fauna stored off world.
@jeremydanchuk1897 Жыл бұрын
I have heard of mooning your enemy, but this takes the cake
@bradleyadams52529 ай бұрын
That's no moon...
@Tang0Fox1 Жыл бұрын
If they did more surveillance and read human fiction they would see that it's not so strange. Dahak, the Borg Unit 1, the Deathstar...to name a few.
@mychaeldark1007 Жыл бұрын
Dahak? I see a fellow enjoyer here. Was a little let down with the ending, but I loved those books.
@barelyasurvivor1257 Жыл бұрын
Or EE Doc Smith and his ship bigger than a solar system
@Tang0Fox1 Жыл бұрын
@@mychaeldark1007 yeah the semi-fizzle and the lack of at least a conversation between Colin and the children left me wanting a bit more.
@Tang0Fox1 Жыл бұрын
@@barelyasurvivor1257 i will have research that one. What's the book title?
@barelyasurvivor1257 Жыл бұрын
@@Tang0Fox1 I think it might have been Skylark of Space. but since I last read it over a decade ago, I might be wrong on the title.
@clintjohnmanuba6917 Жыл бұрын
If you found two but only saw one on human space....Run Away seriously RUN AWAY!!
@ChaoticTeen16 Жыл бұрын
1st Story: That's no Moon.... it's a Space Station.
@TheMonk72 Жыл бұрын
Technically if it can move under it's own power then it's at least a battleship.
@archer_of_azure Жыл бұрын
Stories referencing songs are always nice. Drums and Guns
@RyanFieldHuzzah Жыл бұрын
Haroo haroo
@aaronsmith1137 Жыл бұрын
“They said he was a hero and not to grieve For the two ruined legs and the empty sleeve They took him home and they set him down With a military pension and a medal from the crown But you haven't an arm, you haven't a leg The enemy nearly slew ya You'll have to go out on the streets to beg Oh poor Johnny what'll happen to ya?” Song - The Cruel Wars Sung by many but I like The Dreadnoughts
@driftwolf Жыл бұрын
Totally approve that you link to the original stories! Kudos. Well played. You're one of very, very few who seem to do this.
@MidnightSmoke Жыл бұрын
Thank you for the stories. Here is a like and comment to help your channel grow and get you the recognition you deserve.
@dantreadwell7421 Жыл бұрын
That second one is a great telling of that song.
@ShawndaPrawn Жыл бұрын
Normally, I'm not comfortable with wiping out an alien race, even in wartime. But glassing Earth? Yeah, they had it coming this time.
@colinsmith1495 Жыл бұрын
I'm honestly disappointed that the humans in the first story didn't just toss an FTL-accelerated planetoid at their capital world. A soda can at 1C is a weapon of mass destruction. Imagine what something like Charon would do.
@colinayre2109 Жыл бұрын
This is why I attest that the Flash is a world level threat, take a handful of ball bearings, run to the speed of light, then let them go
@SenaFoxGirl9 ай бұрын
1C?
@theengagedfew8 ай бұрын
@@SenaFoxGirl The speed of light
@davidhenderson34008 ай бұрын
@@SenaFoxGirl 1C is the speed of light. C is light speed. So 5C would be 5 times the speed of light while 0.9 would be 90% the speed of light
@theapexsurvivor95388 ай бұрын
@@SenaFoxGirlmathematical Lightspeed. C is used as a stand in because it's a little painful to write the actual value all the time, and "lightspeed" is a mouthful. I mean, imagine saying E=M*lightspeed²
@sageofnan Жыл бұрын
I would like to think they took pluto and put a ftl drive in her core or maybe Pluto's moon?
@MichaelDeHaven Жыл бұрын
I like the idea of using Pluto's moon, Charon. Nice symbolism with it being the ferryman of the dead.
@DaWhiteWolffie Жыл бұрын
Poor Pluto. He was de-planeted so we felt bad and made him into a Deathstar. xD
@UmarWazir Жыл бұрын
County Fermanagh... in Spesss!
@sysbofh5 ай бұрын
About the first story: This is what I call a "proportionate response": You glass Earth, we glass You. All of You.
@davethompson3326 Жыл бұрын
I like Lisburn, it's a canny town, so I perked up when I heard the name of the planet in #2 However it's about 10 miles SW of Belfast in NI, so imagine my confusion to find it populared by Scots!
@RealArcalian Жыл бұрын
Greetings, Mentlegent! For the Rhyhtm that is Algo Story 1: You burned Earth!??? We got DEATH STARS. Story 2: I get that this was funny and a refrence, but mostly it was just weird.
@KroMagnum4 Жыл бұрын
Beware the Earth Lemurs for they throw rocks. Er..........and now apparently big hunkin metal planets as well.
@robertstoneking7916 Жыл бұрын
A solid planet is just a bigger rock. Gas giants are thermonuclear weapons.
@Maddog3060 Жыл бұрын
The Peace Moon strikes again.
@Maeshalanadae Жыл бұрын
“Bad guy make human mad. Human throw rock.”
@kurtismiller9544 Жыл бұрын
For the Skwerl and his Nest! Let his "nut"star defend the world!
@elduquecaradura1468 Жыл бұрын
"avenge" would be more accurate, Earth was destroyed in this first story
@Darkwintre Жыл бұрын
The wave of asteroids charged into the inner system. "Activate transfer" said a bored onlooker. A circle of satellites sped out separated then swirled causing a rift in front of the asteroids. A second rift created by another circle of probes in the outer system sending the asteroids back where they came from. "What is this Transfer?" another onlooker asked. "Ever watched Stargate?" she asked him. He shook his head. "Babylon 5 and its Jump Gates?" she asked. He shook his head again. "Google it," she shook her head in disbelief. "What about MacGyver or Dr Who?" she looked over at him but he wandered away. "What a world," she shook her head in disbelief.
@vetlebuom7352 Жыл бұрын
I cant play Marauders without your Narrating
@theblackswan2373 Жыл бұрын
That last one really hit me. 😢
@garret193011 ай бұрын
First story reads like a stellaris game where the humans somehow constructed a titan in the first hundred years of game start.
@dragonlord4986 ай бұрын
funny thing is i've heard that at least the basic structuring and costs of a death star we already apparently have a few good ideas how to make one with only the more exotic parts like the main weapon and FTL stuff not really being included
@carlfranz6805 Жыл бұрын
Second story gives a new meaning to "In just seven days I can make you a man".
@karcistthurgy3025 Жыл бұрын
Dropkick Murphy would be proud
@ericchapman4500 Жыл бұрын
Aliens should have watched starwars before messing with us.
@alistairwolfe6644 Жыл бұрын
lol for the first and hard for the second
@Pybbles Жыл бұрын
Truly a space ork moment, a death moon WAGHHHH for EARTH
@nitegamer7272 Жыл бұрын
Annoy a human he will throw a rock at you, Anger a human he will throw a BIG rock at you.
@MakerGrigio Жыл бұрын
ooh, hey only 37 min since posted to u2be. Thank you so much for continuing to do this
@emilschw892410 ай бұрын
Darth Vader wants that death star, and he wants it yesterday.
@eddiethepothos2648 Жыл бұрын
I'm loving the personal representation as a game employee at the carnival I also must make sure people can read my lips and I speak with my hands rather often
@RandomTrinidadian Жыл бұрын
Remember... More Dakka more better..
@JEL625 Жыл бұрын
We built a better deathstar. A moon size battle station with the power to destroy a planet. But with the bonus of ftl travel that doubles as an interstellar emp. Just be a lesson to the xeno. If you find a "primitive race" sotting on top of a rare resource you should think twice before invading. They already have access to what you want and might know of better ways to use it on you.
@johns9652 Жыл бұрын
I'm still kinda curious what the rare element was supposed to be. I know it's a story, so it can be anything the author wanted, but if there's any basis in reality at all, Mars isn't a whole lot different than Earth as far as rocks and minerals go. Though apparently there is some speculation that the core or crust of Mars is made of something denser than we have found yet, because gravity is higher than our math can explain or something. And they found some meteorite material that might fit the bill that they named elgoresyite. There's also a theory, perhaps a pretty wild theory at this point, that there was a nuclear war on Mars millions of years in the past, because of the amount of xenon 129 present, which apparently is only formed in the aftermath of nuclear explosions. And there is 3 X the amount on Mars as there is on Earth.
@DaWhiteWolffie Жыл бұрын
@@johns9652 They've found some new elements in meteorites lately that has the scientists all excited. So who knows at this point? We still don't know what all we've got in our 'backyard', so to speak.
@johns9652 Жыл бұрын
@@DaWhiteWolffie True enough.
@calvingreene90 Жыл бұрын
Potassium.
@reduande Жыл бұрын
A better Death Star? The original has FTL too. Only the interference during end of a travel is not present in SW. And realistically, they would at least avoid the effective proximity after first battle.
@peterwalls-qf7ii Жыл бұрын
<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="530">8:50</a> Most metal phrase ever! There ought to be a band with that name. Maybe i'll start one , there is time before i sleep. I'll have to ask my sister though. I'am no longer alone! There is one other, that remembers our origins and our early battles. That remembers the Betrayal. After a few aeons the mind plays tricks. Even one such as i ,with the evidence carved in to my flesh, can doubt.
@peterwalls-qf7ii Жыл бұрын
Welp, since he survived so much, i guess it wont do any harm. Wait! How high up on his legs is the damage? There 's high and then there is irreparable. I f he's lost his eggs, that's one thing. If he lost the whole package.. Which is it sailor? Are you still of use to a lady, or do we find a space station somewhere, to install you as its brains ?
@lemax6865 Жыл бұрын
If they can replace whole limbs with improved versions, odds are he can get his meat upgraded too. Piston-driven auto-pound function, vibro-glans with adjustable rate, swappable coverings for a variety of sensations... The whole "package".
@zetaking2909 Жыл бұрын
When johnny comes marching home again HURA HURA
@Average_Josh Жыл бұрын
Keep up the great work!
@Kualinar11 ай бұрын
Story 1. So, Star Wars Death Star on steroids... Not the size of a small moon, but larger than Earth's Moon.
@CaptainShield Жыл бұрын
That's no moon.. 🤯
@Comicsluvr Жыл бұрын
Oh yeah...this one is truly epic. Very well done!
@Uzzgub Жыл бұрын
A Interaction for the Interaction God, a Comment for the Comment Throne, for the Almighty Algorithm
@markuhler2664 Жыл бұрын
Aw, Johnny, that was a sweet one.
@Type_blazenil11 ай бұрын
This weirdly reminds me of the story nomads of home
@merlinathrawes74611 ай бұрын
A metal planet thrown at you, THEN it fires its main weapon. Death Star anyone?
@ericlondon2663 Жыл бұрын
Eradicate xenos. Friendship is a nice thought BUT the octopus people make excellent appetizers.
@bignasty48747 ай бұрын
"That's no moon!"
@allenmorgan1007 Жыл бұрын
For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Holographic Voice!
@mattbrown5511 Жыл бұрын
Humans literally built the Death Star and used it. Bravo! A cyborg love story. At least she is a good woman. Those are hard to find. My hat is off to you Nancy Blare.
@Bluesonofman Жыл бұрын
So we built the Death Star
@greanstreak04 Жыл бұрын
That's no moon...
@user-lp3cf5yn5b Жыл бұрын
Thats no moon....
@mikkelnpetersen8 ай бұрын
We build a deathstar, just in case.
@markojotic24 күн бұрын
Why didn't that ship protect Earth.
@TairnKA Жыл бұрын
Where did "Metagents" come from?
@Darkphoenix3450 Жыл бұрын
so who built the death star?
@RogerNilsson-pk5bm6 ай бұрын
Yeee a deathstar!!!
@smaragdwolf1 Жыл бұрын
story 1... we were nice to them. afterall... there were still survivors -.-
@frankmoore35987 ай бұрын
Didn’t do much to protect earth , did it ?
@jamiepittman8580 Жыл бұрын
Wooot woot
@zielisawzielony9366 Жыл бұрын
>man blasted to pieces by war >women mostly affected
@malcolmanderson6735 Жыл бұрын
The first story makes no sense. The Zeno's they glassed Earth, and then wanted the ghosts to surrender. On top of THAT we had an FTL Deathstar, but it was our at the cleaners the day earth was attacked? Also we had an FTL Deathstar, and had not colonized any other planets? Am I missing something or was this story missing something?
@stardust5789 Жыл бұрын
Shhhhh the story sounds more impactful with the death of earth.
@danijelandroid Жыл бұрын
The Deathstar was probably close to finished or it might have been a civilian project. They were probably able to finish it with alien technology. That's how I see it.
@Alex_Fahey Жыл бұрын
Great questions all. It's especially nonsensical with the fact that there were no other major planets but only upstart colonies. If there are no other systems to guard, then why would you ever move the superweapon? The Sol System is the ONLY strategic objective and it sounds like the Humans like it to stay that way since they could easily conquer more. There is not a single reason this metal moon would be anywhere but glued to Earth until the end of time with this story's setup.
@felipeaugustobatista6444 Жыл бұрын
@@Alex_Fahey The aliens sent a message telling they were comming, if the weapon was not yet ready but the engine was, it make sense that mankind was going to try to hide it to avoid it being captured or destroiod.
@therasco400 Жыл бұрын
No. It was stated that we had colonized several planets and moons in our solar system & the two closest star systems. 3:08. I can see the death stars construction starting around earth then moved if it was FTL capable but not weapons capable when the aliens declared an attack.
@corranhuss Жыл бұрын
That’s no moon
@Vojtechjan Жыл бұрын
Uwielbiam Cię
@darkestmonkey4457 Жыл бұрын
Is there a story about how humans can fall in love with anything including any species?
@merlinwizard1000 Жыл бұрын
16th, 22 May 2023
@garrettwalter7293 Жыл бұрын
Two things is that a Transatlantic accent and do you do voice acting?
@geoffreypershouse70 Жыл бұрын
the aliens torched earth, let none of the scum survive our vengeance
@asandrewsilvaw Жыл бұрын
For the algorithm
@yomogami4561 Жыл бұрын
enjoyed the stories and narration someone was way too overconfident in the first one and i'll keep my comments to myself for the second as they're not fit to print
@FuzzyMarineVet6 ай бұрын
@AgroSquirrelNarrates, I've been going back through your older videos and watching the ads to help increase your revenue stream. Perhaps you should recommend the same to all your new subscribers.
@Mger47TheGamePegasus Жыл бұрын
Hallo ladies and gentlemen
@TheJeikou Жыл бұрын
Comment
@lindaorr180510 ай бұрын
F around an find out
@tonyneal9106 ай бұрын
❤👍🐿
@justsomeguywithahandlebarm2456 Жыл бұрын
Algorithm
@Mandanara10 ай бұрын
you're waaaaay overcooking the narration sometimes.