This song opens the most depressing moment of my life. One time in the past, I tried to leave this beautiful world in a way that was against my faith. I smiled at the people around me but deep inside I was asking for help. The attempts failed and things got better because of God and of my mom. Now I am a registered nurse helping patients and trying to help those who are risks for suicide. Thank you Alexander for this wonderful song.

This song explains so much about what many of us are going through but don't open up about. Thanks for making us not feel alone!

Leaving this here so everything someone likes it I can be reminded to listen to it. Needed to hear this more than you know

I covered my scar with a tattoo on my wrist but I remember that night like it was yesterday. This is for all the survivors out there who tried, or is thinking about trying, don't put your loved oned through that pain. No matter much it rains in your head it gets better, no matter what loss youre facing, our purpose is to carry the pain the others can't bear. We got this. You are loved. When you think nobody understands come here and read these comments and see how many of us do. We all do. We all hurt, but most of all we have each other

I have no words, this is simply... thank you Alexander for opening with us and once again showing none of us are alone❤😭

Depression and the struggles with suicidal thoughts are some of the most daunting. I survived my attempt years ago, and lately it’s been tough to find a way out of the rut my mind has put myself in. Thank you for such a beautiful song.

Me and my brother haven't spoken in a few years. Out of nowhere I got a call today. It was my brother, this 6ft10 350 pound Federal Agent of 20 years was crying so hard I could feel it through the phone. He lost his son today in a tragic motorcycle accident. I didn't know what to say so I just started crying with him. I'm 51 years old I've road in a biker gang for so long I can't remember when the last time I cried about anything. But I finally broke. We didn't say but a few words to each other. But it was enough to know that we were and always will be brothers. I sent your song to his phone and told him how it's already helped me realize how precious life truly is. I hope it helps him through some of his pain like it has me. Thank you for this one of a kind masterpiece. Big fan Blackwater.

Can someone like my comment for still alive till now

This is not a song. It's a masterpiece.

"Mom i don't want you worried Cuz that would just hurt me So i pretend i'm fine" is so relatable💔 🙃

This song has helped me to understand how much I've grown in my spiritual journey since I tried to take my own life since 14 yrs old. I'm 32 now and a being of light. A mom of 2 & a wife. I thank you so much for writing this ❤💯✨☄️🙏

How amazing it is to be able to listen to a song that can hit every fiber of your being. May we all win the silent battles we don't tell anyone about!

I lost my mum in August, and I have not been able to cry. Thank you, Alexander, for giving me a door to open into that part of my heart that needs to heal.

Battling depression with a smile on my face and constant tears in my eyes... I don't know how to tell my mom but this song has made me know that I'm not alone so thank you 💕

[Verse 1] I've been tryin' so hard to survive Sometimes I think that I wanna die I feel so fucking guilty 'cause god I'm so lucky to live my life So I keep all the pain to myself Losin' faith but nobody can tell Mom, I don't want you worried 'cause that would just hurt me So I pretend I'm fine [Chorus] If you only knew What my mind is tellin' me I should do That I'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight I'm too sad to cry, it's true, oh If you only knew All the shit my brain is puttin' me through You'd come runnin' over straight to my room here tonight I'm sorry but I need you, oh If you only knew [Verse 2] I wish I was somebody else I'm constantly overwhelmed Now I'm falling again gettin' drunk with some friends It's a silent cry for help I wanna get better, I want you to know That I can't do this on my own [Chorus] If you only knew What my mind is tellin' me I should do That I'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight I'm too sad to cry, it's true, oh If you only knew All the shit my brain is puttin' me through You'd come runnin' over straight to my room here tonight I'm sorry but I need you, oh [Bridge] Take me out of this hell Oh, somebody help Take me out of this hell Oh, I'm not myself [Outro] I wanna tell you what my mind is tellin' me I should do That I'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight I'm too sad to cry but I want to Oh, if you only knew

I felt exactly like this a year ago but then I entrusted myself to Jesus and He saved me. He gave me life, hope and love back. As the lyrics say "God take me away from this hell", He really did ❤

I have no words to describe how many emotions your music makes me feel. Every lyric has a deep meaning and I’m so grateful for discovering your music. Thank you for everything

I'm from Germany, 28 years old, Male.. My life has been filled with violence and darkness. I lost both my grandfathers within 8 months, my best friends.... One of them I saw as my father since he raised me. He made me feel safe when my mother only ruined me. Then I found the love of my life and before I know the war in ukraine started, I volenteered and went to the front lines... now im back, love of my life is gone... but the trauma from the war is with me for the rest of my life... I've crossed over into the darkness for good. and this song allows me to to feel again. it hurts a lot, but I deserve to feel it Thank you Alexander

I don't know if you'll ever read this but your song saved my life tonight. I really wanted to leave this world but I remembered your song and played it on a constant loop until the feeling passed. Thank you ❤

Someone like my comment so I listen again 🦋

I know that releasing a song like this can feel like exposing a piece of your heart to a crowd of people, so thank you for sharing this with us & know that you’ve made the biggest impact by pressing that upload button 🤍

I know this song is already a a hit because you've already helped so many people who are really sad and hurt from others in their life. Alexander you have THE MOST Beautiful SOUL AND SPIRI T AND EYES AND yourr ability to portray EMOTIONS that are SO Super INTENSE is BEYOND genius and talent I don't know what it is except Magic ❤❤ and from ANOTHER WORLD !!!!!!! We all wish you the best success with your career you are really honest and down-to-earth and you write the MOST Exquisite and gorgeous songs in the universe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Young man, you have a gift from God. Not just your amazing voice, but your music reaches inside people and touches their soul. This song...OMG. My grandson shared this video on his FB page. I think it's time he and I talk. God bless you.

Hands down, one of the most heartfelt tracks out there. If THIS doesn't hit you right in the feels, then you must be a rock. Sincerely, I just want to give hugs to everyone, who needs them. ♥

This song has become one of my favorites from him. The vocals, lyrics all perfect. He deserves more recognition for sure.

This song will actually help so many people to give a voice to their feelings. Instant chills and tears for me. Thank you brother!

1.6 million views in just 3 weeks tells you just how powerful this song is. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve listened to this song and just cried.

I've been listening to this song so much now... as well as trying to think of the perfect thing to say in response to these lyrics. I'm so sorry about this. What a brave thing to do to put these feelings in a song for the world to hear. How amazingly beautiful. No, don't wish you were someone else, Alexander Stewart. You're everything that you need to be. Your story is needed. You are precious even in your toughest moments. Luckily enough we get to hear your songs, but there are other beautiful parts about you that maybe we don't know about, that maybe you don't know about. Please don't give up on yourself. Perhaps as a fan I only know a part of you, but you inspire me. You are someone I look up to. And the bad moments and bad days delete nothing from all the positive things you hold in your heart and all the positive you have left to discover. I wish you only the best. If you only knew... the great memories that await, the difference you make, what you have yet to achieve, the awesome days that await. Everything is temporary, be patient with yourself, and use the bad moments to reflect and work towards an even better version of yourself. Don't escape. You've come so far. Proud of you always, not only when you're thriving but also when you're only surviving. I don't think that what I said is close to perfect, but I do want you to know that your life and your character are worth fighting for, that your dreams are worth working for, and that every day is worth surviving for. Keep going. Perhaps negative feelings come with guilt, yes, but it's okay - sometimes the best thing we can do is be kind and patient with ourselves. Ask for help if you need it. You don't need to go through anything alone. I see so much greatness in you, and I only hope that when you feel the opposite, you remember that there are people who don't need to know exactly what you're going through in order to believe that you will make it. You will get better. You will get out of this hell. Sending you lots of encouragement. Take it easy, take it slowly if you need to, and take care of yourself.

The song is not even out yet and I'm already blowing my eyes out 🥺🥺🥺😫😭😭😭😭 This is how I'll end 2023, with this song on repeat. Definitely going to be the only song I listen to for the rest of the year.

This. This is what I have felt for just over 2 years since my mama passed away from cancer. Numb, enraged, grief stricken, empty. It's a dangerous cocktail of emotional hell....... I didn't know I needed this 😭😭😭😭 an absolutely epic masterpiece sir, my hats off to you 🥀

For all those wonderful people out there that had too or is going thru hard times please do me a great big favor don't give up you may have thought about it but don't and I'm glad youse are still here it ain't easy but it takes time you will be blessed soon just have patience that's the key to a better life I believe in all of you's even if we never met i don't judge take care❤❤❤ I've been thru it so i know the feeling now I'm stronger and moving forward thanks to others that never gave up on me 🙏

So many people feel this way but can't put it into words. Crying listening to this. We had a horrible loss in April as our only daughter passed at 28 weeks after one week of life. These words hit so close. Thank you for being volunerable and releasing this. So many people can relate ❤

Words can’t describe how happy and excited I am I need this song sm rn 55 minutes left Then it’s music to my ears I can’t wait to sing along to this 😭☺️💕

Words cant describe how excited I am. I need this song sm rn and I can’t wait to just scream along to this 😭 Edit: After listening to it abt 10 times OH MY GOSH 😭 I knew it was gonna be good but not this freakin good! Ok not joking when I say that this is THE MOST beautiful song ever. Like the lyrics, the melody, your voice like just everything about it is perfection. Thank you Alexander, for this song because I need it sm rn and it really helps people not feel alone 🥹 I just can’t explain but OMG this song is a hundred percent my favorite song to exist and I just can’t stop listening to it. Ahhhh the whole album is a masterpiece and I could listen to his voice allllll day 😭😭😭😭💚💚💚 I couldn’t be more grateful, we love you so much Alexander

I'm in tears because this is how I feel every single day since I was just a kid. Now I have children of my own and I don't want them to see my deepest heart. You have opened such a flood of pent up pain in such a beautiful way. Thank you.

I've been through a lot in life, and this song really hits home. Even though I'm alone. I know that the lord is with me. And I know Even though I have no one in my life I know that the lord will always be there for me

I've been fighting against depression and suicidal thoughts since I was 8, this song describes exactly the feelings I've had for the last 27 years, combined with depression I've also been fighting against GAD since I was like 3, most of these years I've been fighting alone, now I've been on treatment for 3 years after almost losing the fight while having a panic attack.

I loved the song. This will be on repeat 24/7 because I relate so much and this made me cry. I really needed a song like this to describe how I’ve been feeling everyday.

This song hits me so hard. My life collapsed in a way that I never thought was possible. Constantly fighting myself without saying a word. I don’t want to be a burden and make anyone’s life harder I just wish there was someone who’s been through what I have just to have someone to talk to. It’s been almost six months since I last saw my dad and it gets hard. Constantly fighting thoughts of suicide is harder than some people think. I just wish my life wasn’t a living hell.

This helped me tell my mum about my thoughts of self harm. This song supported me so much, so thank you

I love this song and I hate that too many of us can relate to it... A beautiful sound to describe some place so dark.

Alexander Stewart is truly an angel! His angelic voice always makes me cry, he is so special and deserves all the love in this whole world. (Him releasing his new EP on my BIRTHDAY means everything to me) WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH ALEXANDER!! 😍😭❤

This song is my comfort zone. Thank you Alexander for this beautiful masterpiece.

I’ve been listening to this every day for the past 3 weeks wondering why my cousin committed suicide and now I realize how much this song relates to him. He was only 16. I will always miss and love you. Rest In Peace😭.

I'm involved with Alexander's music because I relate too much ,the pain,hurt,thoughts of not belonging it helps me cope with my life😢

The way this song hits me on a deep level is so uncanny... Been lost for quite sometime, so much the lyrics feel so relatable.💔

bro this should hit all the men out there because we are taught that we hold our feelings in and just bottle it up and this song helps me at least release what i feel so thank you

When I hear this song I know that I’m alone… But also know that God is watching me and he doesn’t like what he sees! If you are struggling with some bad stuff, just remember: I love you and I’m here with you, no matter what are you going through you are not alone!❤

I-i don't have words to explain but this is the most relatable song to me,every words hits so hard,Alexander thank you so much for this masterpiece ❤️❤️❤️

the part "take me out of this hell" LITERALLY BROKE MY HEART! thank you for telling about it to us, you are not alone. by the way all your songs was amazing, im left with no words

Jake, What a beautiful song. You have brought healing to so many people. ❤ In 2021 my son put on his angel wings and went to heaven. It was so hard for me to see my son go through so many struggles with depression and anxiety. Life in incomplete without him. He was so talented, smart and handsome. I miss my baby everyday. He was my life, my joy, my sunshine! Remember you are loved and stay strong! ❤ God Bless

This song expresses how I feel 24/7 I have attempted so many times but failed due to the thought of my family. Honestly if I didn’t have them I wouldn’t be here right now. I never knew how to express my thoughts to my mom then I heard this song and sent it to her and said “mom this is exactly how u feel.” Thank you so much Alexander for letting us know we’re not alone. We have people who really care. We just have to open up. ❤️❤️❤️

Hopefully this song will be a hit. It has so much meaning. The lyrics, the voice. 😢 Sad but at the same time so beautiful. This song kinda reminds me Demi Lovato when she released the "Someone" song😢 Can't wait to add this song to my playlist.

Impossible not to cry with this song 🥺 I love you Alexander 💗 Another masterpiece 💕

For those who want to talk but feel like a burden, we're here for each other.

Every single time I hear this song I cry and I have it on repeat. This song say the words for me when I can't or don't know how. Thank you Alexander I hope you know I look up to you I really do.

This song is currently helping me get through a tough time in my life. I've always had anxiety, but recently its gotten to the point where I am in physical pain 24/7 and am not eating enough for my growing body. On top of all of that, I started a deppresive episode, probably the worst one I've had so far. I stay up late and just sob, and I'm barely surviving. I've obviously worked with my mom to get me to a good therapist, but I haven't told her everything about how I feel, because just like Alexander said, I don't want her worried because that would just hurt me. I had to start Zoloft, which was the one thing I didn't want to do. Listening to this song and hearing that other people feel the same as me has really helped me.

I can’t wait to hear this song . I’m so excited. I really love your songs and I’m sorry for everything you had go through ❤❤❤❤

The broken sound in If You Only Knew, what my mind is telling Me I should do adds up to it all

hi, i hope you see this i went through very severe depression as an 11 year old, i lost my grandad due to cancer, and he passed on my birthday. i grew up never showing emotions, i showed i was fine, but i wanted to end it, i didnt want to carry on, i found one direction and was okay, until i lost my gran in 2021 when i was 14 due to covid and cancer. i didnt find your music until if you only knew was 8 days from being released and this song has been me since i was about 11 and im now 16 this year, so thank you for everything, your music has helped me through so much in my life❤

How could he just pour out my mind like this? I can’t stop listening and crying 😭

You sent chills through my body and tears to my eyes with this song. You’ve said, in this song, what I feel in my heart. The world is so heavy, and my mind is so loud. Thank you for this song.

Im 22 now but back when I was in middle school I was bullied so badly to the point to where I wanted to end my own life but god spoke to me and said your better then this you have a long life ahead of you and that right there motivated me to keep pushing and just be my self and that carried me to today here I am at the age of 22 and married with my precious wife I have a beautiful young girl I love my child and my wife and the life that im living now all thanks to god

Am i like the only one addicted to this song? Asking for a friend

I relate with this song so much! This is literally how I've been feeling for the past seven years and i could never put it to towards. I am very proud of you and I can tell how much this song means to you, I hope you are ok and if you're ever feeling that way again please don't hold it in talk to someone because i know how much that can destroy us if you keep everything to yourself!! Love you so much and keep being yourself...

As a person who comes from a broken home.. Was kicked out from home when i was 14yo and was forced to do crimes to have food. Being alone and strong at the same time, that's me. This song touches me on so many levels... Expect that my mother never ever cared for me. The lyric is spot on ❤

Every single day i come back here to listen this masterpiece.❤

I've had times all throughout my teenage and adult years where I've been on the brink of ending it all. It takes a lot to not just get it over with, but it takes even more to remind yourself that you are enough and the world won't be better off without you. The thoughts may never go away, but they don't have to consume you either. You're enough. You're loved. Even when it feels like you're all alone.

This song just described everything ive been going through and I literally can't stop crying when i listen to it. I am going to see you this Tuesday. Thank you for all that you do!

I’m so excited you don’t know how many times I have watched the short on repeat I already know some parts to this song Love you so much Alexander you don’t know how much I am happy for you I will always support no matter what.❤

As a man, the stigma of us being tough and not willing to confide in people has kept people from asking us how we are really feeling. I dont know if im intimidating or unapproachable... i just wish someone would tell me im not worthless

This song really hit me deep. I felt every word. There was a time when life got too hard, and I felt like giving up. I was all by myself, feeling weak and my mom was far away. No one knew what I was going through; I kept it all inside and put on a happy face. But the one who saved me was my daughter, then I decided to stay strong for her and her sister. Instead of me helping them, they ended up helping me. I hope everyone talks about what they're going through, especially with their moms. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Thanks for this awesome song.❤

This song is a masterpiece! I can relate to every single word and every word hits hard. Thanks so much for this song Alexander!

😭I burst into tears... This describes word for word how I have felt since childhood, the black sheep, the stranger among these pairs, I let myself be carried away by your voice you take my soul by the hand to heal every little crack, A huge thank you for your transparency. *Please come to Canada/Quebec I want and need to scream this song with you, I swear to be in the front row!💜🙏

I hope that each of you feeling like you should give up know that God loves you dearly. Jesus died so that no shame and guilt could consume you! I know it is hard to believe sometimes, that you're worthy of the life you live. But you're here, with a purpose on purpose. Take a breather. Smell the roses. Live in right now. If only you knew, I love you!🫶🏽

I just listened to this for the first time. This song is my daily life and had been for 40 yrs. I've attempted leaving a couple times, brought back both times. The 3rd time I stopped myself or maybe it was this strange woman that stopped me. Strange in the fact I had never seen as much pain in someone's eyes and that pain being them thinking I was gone. 15 yrs later we are still best friends and married now. She sees daily want I go thru just to step outside in the light. Just thinking of her love for me right now I tear up. She very quickly became the most important I have ever known. All I want to do the rest of my life is make sure I never put that pain and hurt in her eyes again. I walk a very dark line everyday. So close to the edge. But she is my safe zone. The love I have for her will always keep me around.

You produce music which reasons with the heart and soul,,cant wait for this new hit

Man, your words perfectly describes what i'm going through. This song made my cry as little baby, thinking about my life goals, my future, my heart, which breaks everyday

Damn, best song ever written. I think at some point in everyone's life they feel this song. Hit hard for me right now. Great Job young man!

regrets haunt me from the past, anxiety keeps me from moving into the future, now I'm numb and sinking slowly. i really hope i can survive longer

This song gave me so much chills, absolute so beautiful, showed us that we go through a lot, Alex I love you so much, also showed that we are not alone either, I love you so so much!! 😭❤️‍🩹

alexander you don’t understand how much this means to me.”im too sad to cry” hits me so hard everytime. thank you for this, im glad im not alone.

The lyrics are so relatable. Respect for being strong enough to be vulnerable.

I wish i can tell this to my mother 😭 so she could take me out of this hell , but I don't want her to get worried.

I literally cried listening to this. It's almost as if you were writing this song about what I'm going through. Overall, if I just told you I love this song, it would be an understatement.❤😢

Alexander Stewart I love your music your a inspiration to me you inspire me to be just like you and to create music one day like you thanks your music helps me alot!

As an Army Veteran with 15months in Iraq between oif V and oif VII/New Dawn and who struggles with PTSD every day, this hit me like a train man! Keep it going! 😟😢

It's been a year since my mother left me. he came in my dream to apologize even though I was the one who made many mistakes in his life. then I met this song, the tears that I had been holding back came out. No one around me knows that I am still devastated by my mother's death. thank you alexander, your song knows my feelings. Yes, only your song knows how I feel on this earth

I just listened to it on Apple Music and I was so happy. It is absolutely amazing. Gonna be listening to it on repeat for months!

This song reminded me of the worst part of my life. When I was depressed to the point I was contemplating suicide. Thank you for expressing how so many people feel with your amazing gift of music.

Beautiful song that I can resonate a lot with, much love to you for all the beautiful songs that you write and sing Alexander, I love them all ❤

This isn't a depressing song, It's a song how people are made feeling alone in the world, Most likely with narcissists, abuser's, predator, Of the past & possible present, The only thing that really closes the door on that is Praying to God, find Jesus, It's not about staying stuck in silence.

That was one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard words cannot describe how happy I am for this😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I can't wait Alexander to hear the new song and sing it😭😭😭🥹🥹💔💔

Guess what.....I just found a new soul listening to this song. This is suppose to be no.1 on the Billboard Chart and Win BET

Never before has one artist made me cry so much like this man. So many powerful feelings its hard to keep them silent. I love his music so much.

@alexanderstewart... I just discovered this song yesterday. I find the timing to be no coincidence. I've battled through addiction and mental health issues most of my life. I thankfully found my way out of the addiction struggle 9 years ago. Yesterday, as I was preparing myself for the 10 year anniversary of my Moms' death, this song showed up on my feed. I had never searched anything by you and yet there it was. I can't even begin to tell you what a powerful song this is, and how I've been obsessed with it since finding it. Keep doing what you're doing, man. You're impacting countless people, I'm sure. You've definitely impacted me for and I thank you for that

Depression is REAL. We must always check on loved ones. It's a very dark place mentally. I Pray for everyone going through the inner to be strong and don't give in to suicidal thoughts. It's a phase that shall pass. Peace and Love

PTSD, general anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, panic disorder, agoraphobia, and a 15 year struggle with substance abuse brought me here. Currently coming up on 5 months 100% sober, no Suboxone, no benzos, no alcohol, weed, or so much as ibuprofen. Lived my entire twenties on autopilot in MAT. Fighting PAWS has been the hardest thing I've ever done. But I refuse to quit no much it drives me crazy most days. My body and mind have been in constant withdrawal for the last 7 months. It started the moment I started tapering, and it continues to this day. It's less severe than it was. But I've been going through it dude. Up and down, panicky and anxiousness all day everyday. My only relief is KZfaq and at night when I play my video games. This song is amazing, and to anyone struggling, just be thankful it's not worse. So many of us are lost right now. A darkness is in this world nowadays, more so than ever before. It's not your fault you feel like this, the enemy wants us to quit and live in despair. Don't let them win. Seek God and stay strong. If I can do this so can you. Much love.

I have heard this song so many times. This song is perfect for how many people including me feel, thank you for writing this beautiful song to help us express ourselves.