Perfectionism Is Ruining Your Life (What to Do About It)

Рет қаралды 225,990

Күн бұрын

Head over to Brilliant to start your 30 day free trial (and if you're one of the first 200 people to click the link you'll get an extra 20% off too): brilliant.org/AliAbdaal 😃
A few months ago, I interviewed Professor Thomas Curran about perfectionism. He explained what perfectionism is, why it's problematic, and how we can work to overcome it. So in this video, I'm sharing his best insights and ideas so hopefully you get some useful tips on how to beat perfectionism. Enjoy!
🔗 LINKS MENTIONED:
Check out my journalling hub here: go.aliabdaal.com/21Y7ag
Check out the full interview with Thomas here: • The Perfection Trap: W...
📖 Check out my New York Times Bestselling book Feel-Good Productivity: go.feelgoodproductivity.com/p...
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By the way, you can watch this video in a few other languages by changing the audio settings xx
🍿 WATCH NEXT:
Why You Feel Lost in Life: • Why You Feel Lost in Life
How to Make 2024 the Best Year of Your Life: • How to Make 2024 The B...
4 Life Changing Books to Read This Year: • 4 Life-Changing Books ...
7 Life Lessons I Wish I Knew Sooner: • 7 Life Lessons I Wish ...
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If we haven’t yet before - Hey 👋 I’m Ali, a doctor-turned-entrepreneur and I’ve somehow become the world’s most followed productivity expert. Through my videos here on this channel, my podcast Deep Dive and writing, I share evidence-based strategies and tools to help you be more productive and build a life you love.
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⌚️Timestamps:
0:00 - Introduction
1:33 - The Productivity Paradox
3:39 - The Perfectionism Trap
6:21 - Imposter Syndrome
8:08 - Set Reasonable Standards
11:51 - Surrendering
13:37 - Set Failure As Success
14:46 - Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone
16:18 - Sketch Your Goals

Пікірлер: 372

@aliabdaal 3 ай бұрын

✍Check out my journalling hub here: go.aliabdaal.com/21Y7ag

3 ай бұрын

Interesting topic, because I find your channel and your work 100% perfect. Your editing, way of speaking, intelligence. I watch your videos, and when the animations come in, I think, "How did he do that? I have no idea or skill to do such a thing." So it's kind of disheartening to know that my best doesn't even come close to 20% of what you deliver. I feel limited, and often even think I'm stupid, even though I'm a teacher and author of Physics books here in Brazil. How can we improve to achieve something close to Ali Abdaal's standard?

@laurahoussain 3 ай бұрын

Thank you Ali. Really good video... One thing that has helped me tremendously is to free myself from wanting to control the opinion of others. Also, I have come in contact with my inner critics and trained them to treat me better... totally life-changing. The work I did was inspired from Jay Earley and the Internal Family system... but not only. If you read this comment and you a perfectionnist, try IFS as well. ❤ There is so much I could say about the topic... I could write a series of books. 😂 Perctionism is a vampire draining the joy out life. Everyone deserves to break free from its grip.

@abieeabu6933 3 ай бұрын

لمست شي احنا بنحسه يوميا شكرا لك ساعدتنا كثيرر

@warneredits5052 3 ай бұрын

Just amazing, thank you.

@bookhuggah 3 ай бұрын

I have started uploading videos to my channel since watching your advice about starting

@zahinazham 3 ай бұрын

"I need the perfect camera, perfect mic, perfect lighting before i start my youtube channel". ended up starting my channel 3 years too late

@Neditarts. 3 ай бұрын

Never too late you can start it now, you dont need to be perfect at start , you learn how to be more perfect after you upload your video and understand the mistake of your work Hope you to achieve sucess🌸🙏

@VectorApprenticeGraphics 3 ай бұрын

Yeah I can relate, cause it’s been the same for me. Though I started with shorts last month, but am still struggling with being consistent 🫣

@justBCheung 3 ай бұрын

Better late than never! I still struggle with this for shooting videos, but slowly getting more comfortable with imperfection and just doing

@kimkilinski3816 3 ай бұрын

Feel this. I just started something and I hope it works out. But now I'm somewhere in between "I love doing this" and "I hate myself for not starting earlier"

@alexmosutheskypirate 3 ай бұрын

You're not alone brother

@badass6300 3 ай бұрын

Blame school for being a perfectionist... they literally punish you for failure and don't let you correct yourself after making a mistake, but punish you instead.

@kimkilinski3816 3 ай бұрын

Thi-hi-hi-hi-hissss!!

@celtpro 2 ай бұрын

So glad I did not go to your school, my school for how little attendance I had, encouraged you not punished you, for not being a perfectionist. Mostly home schooled due to having a lot of surgery as a child.

@badass6300 2 ай бұрын

@@celtpro Every school that fails you and leaves that failure as a mark of your end result is punishing you for failure and want you to be a perfectionist. In the real world when you fail, you try again the moment you fail, with the knowledge you got from failing and with reading and learning on the spot afterwards. This doesn't apply only to surgeons, pilots and similar professions that actually require perfectionism.

@dodgerea8639 6 күн бұрын

Agreed. That much more so for those who put pressure on themselves to go to highly competitive programs to follow. Really messes with you, while also serving you in confusing ways. It’s not easy to unwind the good from the bad when it’s now a habit to view all output in that way, too.

@badass6300 6 күн бұрын

@@dodgerea8639 The worst part is that the education system produces weak, stupid useless people in 12-20 years and wastes their youth, goes doubly so for STEM, ask me how I know.

@cutsontheway 3 ай бұрын

I came across this video, and realized that I am facing this problem all of my time. I try to be perfect in every aspect rather than embracing myself and just start doing what I want to do.

@TheSismeon 3 ай бұрын

That's such an important topic. I used to be such a perfectionist and put so much pressure on myself that I simply wouldn't look for help, in fear of disappointing the people who said they were proud of me or inspired by my hard work, which lead me to burning out, feeling isolated and overworked. I took some steps to try to fix my perfectionism and imposter syndrome and I made progress but there's still quite a way to go.

@bravecarnage6635 3 ай бұрын

..I have been battling random anxiety due to thinking I have to be high standards , in a short period.....this is the video I needed....“ progress over perfection "😢😢

@kevji 3 ай бұрын

So many of us struggle with that feeling of anxiety in striving for excellence, you're not alone. You don't have to be anything than exactly what you are, then from there you will naturally start to progress because there is more self-acceptance!

@wilbenportuguez 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for making this video about perfectionism. I have been in the perfectionism trap in the past trying to be the best. I'm recovering from my anxiety and depression and it's been going well that I can say I'm more comfortable in making mistakes and accepting them as learning opportunities.

@reynardmhlahlo9864 3 ай бұрын

Feeling myself as someone who is in the perfectionism trap and I think I am definitely at the part where I am feeling guilty. You publishing this video has helped by verbalising the way I feel..... I am about to just start what I have been avoiding. Thank you Ali.

@kevji 3 ай бұрын

SO much power in finally leaning into what you resist. I like to say that the Perfectionist Paradox is "what you avoid, you create more of" so it's finally time to lean into what we avoid!

@lambotwentyseven 3 ай бұрын

Haven’t watched the full video yet, but this has been my whole life, even though I’ve recognised it in the past I still struggle to start because I don’t want to fail. Thank you for the solutions I know will be in this video!

@ricardamaier8462 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for making this video. I really beat myself up on something in my work yesterday that did not go as I expected it to go. This put me more at ease.

@jonathanmw4216 3 ай бұрын

Thank you Ali and team. You’ve encapsulated lots of helpful tips in a practical and accessible way.

@setarehmizani1596 3 ай бұрын

After watching this, I realized how much perfectionism exists in different aspects of my life and I really have to try to get rid of it.✌️

@islamicstatus4653 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for the video. This is what i need for my coming exam ❤

@heebakhalid 3 ай бұрын

Your editor is amazing this video is so satisfying

@gloriaobuzome 3 ай бұрын

This same issues almost made me miss the beautiful opportunity of baby steps. Picked up my channel this year and it's been a beautiful experience 😊. I'm not getting the traction that I want yet, but I'm so glad that i started. I'm learning so much along the way, and just remember that if there's no beginning because you're seeking perfection, there will also be no ground where you will even have to make an improvement 😊. There's actually so much beauty in imperfect things, because you will have the option of improving it and getting better someday 😊.

@starle4547 3 ай бұрын

I absolutely love this. thank you so much Ali!!

@shavy07 3 ай бұрын

Thank you so much Ali, this video is gold

@henryliu3770 3 ай бұрын

Ali, thanks so much for creating these videos! I was a perfectionist my whole life which pulled me backwards both academically and professionally. I decide to make a change today and tell myself that something is better than nothing.

@TRYIT_ON_YOURSELF 3 ай бұрын

Great interview with Thomas! It’s really interesting to listen to other point of view

@freelanceguyzach 3 ай бұрын

You continue to inspire me in my KZfaq journey! Thank you so much!

@lightboardsaustralia4448 3 ай бұрын

Thanks Ali, this was super helpful. You’re a Legend.

@ismail-olasunkanmi 3 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for this video. I needed it

@yashmundhra3313 3 ай бұрын

This video was literally all I needed. Cannot relate more with each and every word you spoke in the video. I am personally facing this situation and was scrambling to handle it. This video came as a ray of light! Thank you!

@lawching123 17 күн бұрын

You are so cool! Thank you for sharing so vulnerable experiences and knowledge😊❤

@intentcredence 3 ай бұрын

Thanks a lot for making this video. I waited for it

@jackoswald7392 3 ай бұрын

This is the best video you have ever created. Thank you 🙏

@N...660 3 ай бұрын

Gracias Ali por traducir tus videos al español ya que tiene un gran impacto en mi vida y la mayoría de la comunidad hispanohablante ❤

@wantingwang6836 3 ай бұрын

Much needed video!! Thank you Ali:)❤

@penghanng883 3 ай бұрын

This is an incredible video Ali! I guess to summarize, getting rid of perfectionism is to allow ourselves to get motivated to "do the work" and not work so hard to the point of burn out. And ultimately, the key to success is to simply put in the effort - day by day, week by week. Amazing lesson.

@Dr.AbhishekChaudhari 3 ай бұрын

Much needed video rn for me...Thank you Ali

@Msrojo1004 3 ай бұрын

Ali, Thank you so much for your study and insights. And thank you for presenting it in a way that I can apply it to my own self. I live in Australia and am in my mid 60s. I’m working on my Feel Good Productivity in the workplace. … There’s a follow-on title for you. For me this means managing a hyper-critical supervisor. The more she is picks on me, the perfectionist and slower I’ve become, and I’m now considering reporting her to my manager, as some of my colleagues have done.

@mvvassy 3 ай бұрын

Very helpful. after so many years, i just realized that i fall under perfectionist category. this Video was an eye opener

@ferdousiparvin3789 3 ай бұрын

Good to see you Ali!!!

@ashlyrodriguezreyes6130 3 ай бұрын

Love the editing, it's so satisfying

@Adityakittoo 3 ай бұрын

Being in this circumstance and exhausting myself, today I asked God for help and surprisingly this useful video popped up.

@RobinMWaite 3 ай бұрын

The Fear Setting exercise is absolutely brilliant. I always do this with clients over goal setting.

@13-nupurbhardwaj9f7 3 ай бұрын

thankyou aliii !!! love from india ❤

@justinortizluis2400 3 ай бұрын

this video came out at the perfect time, thank you so much ali!

@ltpdogtrainingNJ 2 ай бұрын

Same here! No coincidence! Very accurate & inspiring content from Ali!

@mannys_faith 3 ай бұрын

Thank you Ali, as a perfectionist, this vid is helping me to overcome the constant need to be perfect.

@gosuperva 3 ай бұрын

Just watched your video on beating perfectionism with Professor Curran's insights! It was super enlightening and totally resonated with me. Thanks for sharing those awesome tips! Can't wait to put them into action! 💪😊

@Loveth.W 3 ай бұрын

This was insightful. Thanks for sharing Ali👏🏾

@tabussumtamanna5949 3 ай бұрын

Thank you Ali .You taught me to think differently .Though span of life is limited but there is no shortage of reasons to live well 😊

@OOComfortZone 3 ай бұрын

This was such a good video and deeply resonates with me! Thank you for this video! I love the idea of "good enough"

@feanor0778 3 ай бұрын

Appreciate your work and dedication ❤.

@islamsydykov1657 3 ай бұрын

So insightful and so true. Thank you!

@sejalb725 3 ай бұрын

Absolutely amazing timing, I was getting crippling anxiety just now

@crystal.chantel 3 ай бұрын

Great video but I also wanted to mention that I read your book. It is the book I needed! So many other productivity books have big ideas, lofty goals, or are just outright condescending. This book was a breath of fresh air. It is so practical, realistic, and relatable! It has actually helped and improved my productivity. I will definitely read it again regularly. Well done Ali! 👏🏾

@xkz92 3 ай бұрын

To get started I much prefer focusing on the input (e.g. I will spend the next 1 hour researching the topic, bookmarking resources and putting interesting findings on this random doc/ppt) than the ideal output, and if it's outside my comfort zone, I will tell myself "let's do it, and if I'm not good at it (yet) then let's do it badly"

@user-bd7py3oi7k 3 ай бұрын

This is a wonderful video. It is not very specific yet value adding and that makes it very relatable, be it for a student or a working individual or a at home individual. Thank you! Definitely a video worth watching multiple times to get the most benefits out of.

@Someone-qr2bm 3 ай бұрын

This really resonated with me, everything in this video and all the tips given in the video were actually the key to my liberation from perfectionism. It had become a loop in my life and was actually was what held me back all the more. It took me so much to go from all or nothing, to something is better than nothing. It is okay sometimes to just be. Also it becomes really suffocating when you're just focused on making something perfect that it steals creativity and joy from it, and you become the hamster on a wheel. Also you are NOT your accomplishments you're just you, society may not like that true, but unless it causes anyone intentional harm, it is okay to be just that. Another tip is to reward yourself a lil something after you're done with a task so that it makes it a Lil more enjoyable to begin. Also, really grateful for this video, I wish it had released before but I'll return to it everytime I need🌊

@csguru8211 3 ай бұрын

Thanks for making such eye opening videos.

@stcmkl 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for making audio in differents language, as a French I'm so happy !!!

@samainaurelie1525 3 ай бұрын

Savez vous comment écouter en anglais si on le souhaite, depuis la France ?

@NorthMavericks-ow7jk 2 ай бұрын

As always Thanks Ali.

@Nancymusic1717 3 ай бұрын

I was just watching part time youtuber academy and then i thought i have to have the perfect lighting and upgrade my camera and then i found you have uploaded this video!! Thank you so much Ali for your advice and push you give us !

@Intensemuch 3 ай бұрын

This is so important for me to hear! I am trying to work towards my dream job and it is so true that failing is such a great learning process! My soccer coach would tell me that success teaches us nothing, but failure teaches us and helps us grow! I still need to step outside my comfort and go forward! Thanks Ali! ❤️ I really needed this today!

@kevji 3 ай бұрын

that's so beautiful to hear! there is so much freedom in allowing ourselves to fail. Keep going!

@gratefulinlove 3 ай бұрын

This is gold, for me at least. Much needed. ❤️🌸

@alexgb4596 3 ай бұрын

This video is aimed at me. Too many nuggets in this video, I am definitely rewatching to take notes.

@benisd 3 ай бұрын

Okay I'm going to get back to study. Thanks for this motivation Ali!!! 🙏🙏🙏

@user-db9kl7fb5b 3 ай бұрын

Thankyou so much for such an informative video

@nicodemos. 3 ай бұрын

This vídeo is so necessary, can’t wait to watch the full episode, and understand from a specialist what defines a perfectionist

@kevji 3 ай бұрын

perfectionism can be one h*ll of a drug! and one that we don't even know we're on.

@DrSleepASMR 3 ай бұрын

amazing video, very relatable, Ali! Also, compliments on your blue pullover lol

@vanessaprincesssa 3 ай бұрын

Perfectionist here, need to start implementing these into my life. Thanks, Ali!

@sualehamaryam9233 3 ай бұрын

feels like you made this video for me. Thank you

@Ajedrez_90 3 ай бұрын

I loved the part of the video dedicated to Buddhism, thank you. I have been interested by this eastern religion/philosophy for several years, and as an occidental citizen (Spanish to be precise 😄), I found the book "Don't Take your Life Seriously" by Ajahn Sumedho superb. Have a good weekend everyone!

@xkma2890 3 ай бұрын

Thanks for this video❤

@fatimasadat1262 3 ай бұрын

It was really helpful thank you im still dealing with perfectionism but i hope i get somewhere by getting along with it!

@aamnag6680 3 ай бұрын

Needed this today!

@fahmidasharmin8182 3 ай бұрын

I liked the video even before watching it. Nobody talks about this topic but everyone needs to know this.

@cuban.slang_ 3 ай бұрын

Hi there! Got surprised with the Spanish translation😮 Thank you❤

@sofipulyk Ай бұрын

Thanks for amazing video! I love it! What editing program you are using here?

@Neditarts. 3 ай бұрын

Your examples in your video are so good 😍😍👌👌👌thank you so much for your awesome videos🙏🙏🙏🌸🌸

@JustHennaArtist 3 ай бұрын

Heya !! Do have interest in mehndi art ??🦋☺️❤️

@user-fi4fo9dh3g 2 ай бұрын

Thank you for great job! Really interesting and educational video. If be honest, this video opened my eyes on term “perfectionism”, because all my life I thought it’s something positive and correct. But reality is another and our distorted perception makes a lot of problems for us… problems, that we don’t notice. I guess the main problem starts from school with stupid marks system, from childhood with old education methods. But later this problems transfer in other parts of our life and it makes it realy more difficult

@mkshahbazz 3 ай бұрын

Absolutely amazing video❤

@jameslesterart1421 3 ай бұрын

I found this really enlightening and relatable!

@Finanzfreigeist 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for this wonderful insights! I feel very seen! Started my YT-Channel in February and I'm struggling to put out one video in 2 weeks (my goal one video in 1 week). My standards for my first videos are set way too high! Thanks so much! Now I now how I can achieve my goal of making one video a week 😍

@eskayp6 3 ай бұрын

Really helpful! I want to share with my colleagues too!

@simateimourianmotlagh2023 3 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing informative videos , I would be thankful if you share articles links which were mentioned in video.

@as_below_so_above 3 ай бұрын

Im glad I found this video when I did. Yesterday was one of the worst days I have had in nearly a decade, and a great deal of that pain was from my perfectionism. I spent almost my entire work day yesterday just sitting at my desk and ruminating rather than working. I always beat myself up when I make mistakes and I spiral into negative thoughts fairly easily. I feel like I constantly let myself and others down.

@as_below_so_above 3 ай бұрын

But even watching this video made me do some kind of upward social comparison.. It's hard not to feel like a failure

@SRIRAM-su4tl 3 ай бұрын

this is a right video at right time

@okonekanem2789 3 ай бұрын

Ali just spoke to me directly 😢

@aminuabdulazeez5774 3 ай бұрын

❤ God I love ali's approach to action. It's not the distination that matters, it's the journey to the distination.

@jaylarcher7410 3 ай бұрын

I love your book! I am a reading tutor for children ages 3 and up and I talk about parent mindset around learning all the time and how children thrive when they learn through play. I will be doing a series on your book on my IG and facebook community, on how they can implement the principles in your book to their child's education.

@janistabano4761 3 ай бұрын

Thanks for this great vedio❤

@My.Own.Flashlight 3 ай бұрын

i was just watching your very early videos which had your friends singing - could you do a video catching up with them? It’ll be nice to see them again🤗❤️ How do you feel remembering those singing sessions?

@AlwaysPal 3 ай бұрын

I was facing difficulty watching your videos 😢. Because all of your videos were in English. But this video I watched in Hindi😮. I think this is a new feature on KZfaq but this is helpful for me.

@whybhav 3 ай бұрын

ok mr. ali swagged tf out abdaal

@SM-kt3yc 3 ай бұрын

Thank you, really interesting

@Sabrinamay24 3 ай бұрын

Amazing video. I’m trying hard not to be a perfectionist, but I find it hard to convince myself, and I procrastinate a lot because of perfectionism. As an Asian, though my parents are always supportive and they never put too much pressure on me, I still feel I have to be perfect. Looking at my friends, it seems like everyone has achieved something in their lives while I’m still struggling to find the right career path for me. Honestly sometimes I feel quite left behind

@onepieone 3 ай бұрын

Currently procrastinating on updating my CV for my upcoming job interview that has been set for nearly 2 weeks now. 3 more days to go and I feel this massive dread of not being good enough and to withdraw my job application just to get out of this feeling. I was on the fence so I decided to watch this video. So at least I started to get my laptop out and start to write things down.... and I am still on the fence. One hand I am grateful for the opportunity to even be offered an interview for a government job (quite a big deal where I come from), but on the other hand, it was too much pressure and I don't think I want it anymore....

@woet7891 3 ай бұрын

Liked for the blanket sweater

@dalla7573 2 ай бұрын

Me encantan tus videos, desearía poder comprar tu libro cuando es traducido al español 😊

@TechWithSabri 3 ай бұрын

I had this problem 4-5 years ago, when i was trying to start my youtube channel, but when I realized that i will never start, this year it was my year to start my channel whatever it takes. 💪

@perstarke1295 3 ай бұрын

GO FOR IT!

@rajeshbhosale2008 3 ай бұрын

Listening to audible version of your latest book! 🎧

@aliabdaal 3 ай бұрын

Hope you like it!

@patrizia9974 3 ай бұрын

Loved loved the 'surrendering' segment! And that's what I'm doing right now (also by taking the Part-Time KZfaqr course). Tho I have to say I'm a bit sad you're a Ravenclaw, I was sure I've met you in our Gryffindor's common room, hahaha! Thank you for everything Ravenclaw fellow ^^

@cheska9999 3 ай бұрын

Really interesting and useful video, even though I was slightly distracted for 11 minutes trying to figure out the logo on your bathrobe. 😂

@justBCheung 3 ай бұрын

This is the video I need! Saw the notification and clicked so fast

@bravecarnage6635 3 ай бұрын

Mn..me too this the video I needed

@vishalsharma00991 3 ай бұрын

I Just created video about this

@Dr_Ayman_1 3 ай бұрын

0:00 - Introduction 1:33 - The Productivity Paradox 3:39 - The Perfectionism Trap 6:21 - Imposter Syndrome 8:08 - Set Reasonable Standards 11:51 - Surrendering 13:37 - Set Failure As Success 14:46 - Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone 16:18 - Sketch Your Goals

@nenotash 3 ай бұрын

Thank you 😊

@katiescape 3 ай бұрын

At your section about procrastination I admired your macbook so much I started googling 'apple mac wrap covers' instead of listening. Procrastination do be hittin real. TIME TO FOCUSSSS.