Thank you for this video! I've been thinking the same way lately. I shifted my youtube content consumption from channels like those that you mentioned to commentary and analysis channels, and I'm also getting more and more politically active. Now the problem is... I am too drained by political activism and my mental health hasn't being the best. We absolutely NEED more channels that talk about how to be an activist while also taking care of your mental health, preferably by creators that live just like us, not huge youtube channels that can easily live a slow paced life since they already have financial stability, which isn't the case for many of us (specially not during the pandemic) and which ends up making us feel guilty for not being able to live the calm and apparently perfect lifestyle that they do.

@@user-sj9bm2up2w Yes apparently a lot of people are going through that shift from lifestyle content to commentary channels, I remember reading on article on Medium on that topic 😊 And yes you're right, I've seen some people on both sides of the spectrum, getting so involved into activism that they seriously damage their mental health (I work on the Black Panthers for my thesis and those guys worked every single day of the week, 10-12hours a day, they were pretty much all experiencing intense burn-out) and on the other hand, people who feel like 'politics isn't for them' and I totally respect that! I try to promote a balance of both on this channel but it's definitely not easy :/ Take care of yourself 💕

@@AliceCappelle I really think balance is the ideal approach on that matter, so keep the good work! And thanks... I'm definitely trying to take care of myself. When it comes to people that take the approach 'politics isn't for them', though, I really cannot say "I respect that". I mean, I respect it as a phase in life, cause we've all been there, but having that mindset throughout your hole life really should not happen, since politics is everywhere and it relates to most of the things we do on our daily lifes. The status quo can lead to some shitty consequences even for those who belong to more priviledged groups.

Yep, I feel like that's what was missing from the conculsion. Cause from the conclusion I got the idea that helping others and getting angry might be the only self help we actually needed. So I commented the video about that, but I'm glad that's also what you were actually intending to say. Unfortunately I think there are no formula to resolving all our internal struggles and become truly happy just like there doesn't seem to be one to make the world a peaceful and environmentally thriving place. But let's awkwardly try our best and, hopefully, we'll find out how to be less shitty with ourselves and the world one day!

Also, one of the most important social activism we have is for more shelters for abused men, unfortunately, bj, being the partial and unreliable person he is, doesn't think that there is a problem. I know this because of his horrible videos on the film The Red Pill. I know that I shouldn't trust him on any issue since I saw that video.

Matt D'Avella himself 😯

Ha, as Matt's fan I got baited by the thumbnail :D

@@R2r_1337 Haven't we all? xD

I think you're funny

Matt I love that you watched and responded to this video! And I do think that "with great audience comes great responsibility" - so something to think about for your channel!

This 👏👏👏

but it that their fault? Or the government?

Good point

@@bak3456 it is all of our responsibility the government should be representative

> Moralizing a slow, easy lifestyle with minimal work hours while the majority of the population is forced to work one or two jobs simply to be able to pay rent and eat food. *Majority of the _US_ population. There, fixed it for you. While I won't deny that this problem exists everywhere, it's only a majority's problem in the US where the capitalistic system and government ruled by corporate interests dictates the lives of its population.

True connection is free

@@pluvio5 mmmmokay? But when people talk about experiences they usually mean: living in certain places, travelling, eating out, going to shows and festivals, visiting museums or exhibitions, or simply having the time to do all those things or free things. All things which require money (having time requires money). In my experience, people who say money doesn't matter or that they don't think about money are unaware of how privileged one needs to be to have that mentality. Many of us can't afford to "not think about money".

@@agentwrench the things you listed only provide temporary happiness but you are right. If YOU want those things and need money to accomplish it then that is the price you must pay. That’s okay, but remember not to get caught up in a dead end job and put things like travel on hold. It’s doable, but just difficult for some of us :) I quit my job, changed careers, spent the last 6 months traveling on a small budget and I can say it was all totally worth it. Back to the grind!

@@wchristian2000 the "happiness" of going camping is temporary, but the happiness of having regular breaks and outlets from an otherwise stressful life is not temporary, it is a long-term thing. It's in fact not so much about the specific, momentary happiness one can feel in a two days trip, but about the unhappiness one feels when one can't afford to ever do those things. Also don't twist this into a personal thing (if YOU want those things...) when this is a systematic thing. And when many people can't afford to quit a stable job because they fancy a trip, specially if they have other people who depend on them, economically, physically or emotionally. This doesn't take any merit from your efforts or your experience, but your situation is just not extrapolable to a good part of society.

@@agentwrench you sound really unhappy, I hope you find what you’re looking for :)

I would suggest that you just have to approach the situation with the notion that either you or the system could be in the wrong, and then with proper context determine which of those two options is correct. It could even be a mix of both.

@@cchampa17 Exactly.

No it doesn't leave you self absorbed. I feel self help books could aid one to improve one's self and not necessarily only focus on the bigger picture

@@jewelchilaka4089 Yes but sometimes our issues are internal battles we have with ourselves, and sometimes our environment and what is going on in the world determines those battles. Having a balance means working on yourself but also working on making a better world for others. This means learning about yourself, but also learning about the inequality and oppression in the world and ways to help with that too.

Most people probably end up on the self absorbed side of the fence, and while talking against these self help videos she accidentally created a self help video.. left me feeling dissonant

bro could've put a tiemstamp

What about work on yourself regardless* ...

@@KAIZORIANEMPIRE you could expose literally anyone this way. no way you bring "charity" thing to the topic so shamelessly though. Makes no sense bruh

That exactly what got me as well. She nailed it!

literally subscribed when i heard that

Thanks for your perspective!

Thank you so much for sharing. And you should be so so so proud of yourself taking action and working on your mental health. You're so right that the world doesn't think those with disabilities nearly enough. We need to promote more disabled voices. The world needs your perspective too! Your voice matters

I have aspergers and that’s not the case for me, I graduated from a top university with honors and am starting a good career in the defense and IT industry

@@AZ-ty7ub You have physical limitations, so did Stephen hawking and look at him!

@@neurohackstv5723 Why should we have to become like Stephen Hawking to be deserving of respect from society? I'm pretty smart, but I'm not a genius. I shouldn't have to be.

nunca é "helpful" terceirizar a culpa. porque você lava suas mãos e se acovarda, e nunca resolve o problema de fato. não existe solução social para os problemas da sua vida, ISSO É UMA UTOPIA! só você pode resolver sua vida, acorda. o pensamento do seu professor de sociologia (tinha que ser, né) está totalmente equivocado. falácia pura, anti individualismo.

de fato, o maior problema do mundo é o COLETIVISMO.

We'll then, through theories like mass formation and such, one can actually argue it is often not the informed individual who needs social change, but the actual social norms in the environment and the surrounding herd have become fundamentally psychologically and morally corrupt and stand against humane values, therefore society needs to change. A sort of moral relativism and an illusion of reality similar to a mass psychosis. This could indicate that isolation from such a form of twisted reality and society is actually the more healthy approach for an individual perceived as being socially problematic and probably considered even antisocial by societal norms.

And would a sociologist be able to provide a solution? Or just an analysis?

I believe it's a misconception that psychologists are ignorant of other disciplines such as sociology and are incapable of incorporating other factors into therapy...

No. That's about it. Those things are pretty much a ticket to a good life. Life is as easy or as complicated as you want it to be.

@@aj32384 Grifter coach BS.

What is the hard and scary stuff?

Also exercise. Self help channels make it seem like exercising can fix every aspect of your life

@whoisgliese6211 I mean it as the things that require you a little/a lot of effort to do them, but you know are good for you, like for instance talking to that person even if it feels scary or eating healthier etc..

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Because the latter has been destroyed in the West.

This

Yes!! Like develop yourself and your skills for something, not to just say "im so good at having this skills".. like... good for you?

Leonie, didn't expect to see you here😅

Yes I do agree... I personally use them as motivation or 'self-care', meaning that I don't expect much from those videos but I still get a rather positive feeling after watching them, it's hard to really understand why

Yea their goal is to just sell shit and they all say the same thing.

This! A lot of self improvement creators also circle around the same topics, so it can get a bit mundane. But I always thoroughly enjoy the visuals and artful editing behind their videos!

lmao yes 😂😭😭 i play the video but didn't pay attention what they are saying. I put it on play just to feel less lonely

Honestly yes! I found it good for a week but then I realised they just talk in circle.

One can be angry and compassionate at the same time

To tell the truth, I can't watch that Alain de Botton man. His hair (or lack thereof) looks very creepy to me 🤮 Why can't he just shave it all off???

I hate that channel, everything they say just sounds so pretentious and victim-blamey

This view on depression has some truth to it. Depression is being discouraged to want things and feeling all effort is in vain. And when you don't allow yourself to want things, you pretty much don't see possibilities.

@@katyadade1041 I believe that's a consequence of depression and not primarily its cause. And of course once you're stuck in the loop the negativity will push you further down but most of the times external factors are the more impactful triggers than one's change of attitude.

Interesting. I believe there is different levels to depression and also many different causes. For my sister, her depression is hormonal/brain chemistry. For me, It is the reason the school of life stated. Not being about to be or do the things my heart wants or needs. It results in pangs of sadness and anxiety throughout mu 9-5 days.

Yeah true, u did well changing sm abt ur life. But in the end we gotta live in system that wasn't designed to be contributor to living a fulfiling life. Even if we manage to change things abt ur selves, we are constantly challenged by the system and it weighs us down. After working on yourself, we are just trying to maintain all the things we did cuz if don't then we will fall back in to the same routines. So we're just trying to maintain things... I hope i got my point across, thankyou for reading

Me too , l have depression now and this positivity KZfaqrs it’s help me but not very much because i watching many videos about how to get depression out any another things but very time l fill aging my psychology issss bad my mental health is baddd i m teenager actually so I don’t know if this is normal or not normal I am crying now I can’t know what I should be doing 😕😕

I just want to add this incredibly important conclusion: The fact that these apolitical self-help channels greatly help men(cishet only) to "jump into the dating scene" despite trying to stay away from all social injustices implies that.....men being single hasn't anything to do with politics(feminism, lgbtq "ideology" and god knows wut) at all. If men's rights were really a systemic issue and blah blah blah nonsense, then these apolitical self-help groups wouldn't have so many viewers telling their "success" stories Also, men's self help: "getting yourself a 10/10 girl and getting laid" women's self help: "controlling their ocd about everything chaotic in their life" (only applicable to people who are cisgender and heterosexual) It only goes as far as that.

I love your comment, perhaps because it so deeply resonates with me (coming from a not very 'developed'/'progressive' country). I do believe working on yourself not only can be but IS helpful, and that channels like the ones mentioned can be beneficial and actually improve some people's quality of life - even if they don't live in the likes of Norway. That is only true, however, to an extent. Turning inwards is the way to go if you're a Swede with a non-immigrant background, and it can be helpful if you're Romanian (though not always). If you are from rural Zimbabwe, though, things aren't as simple. Your problems don't lie in a lack of self awareness and whatnot, but in a history of oppression and the global hierarchy put in place by colonialism - both of which have a very real and significant impact on your life today. Turning inwards is important - essential even - but it can only be done after a good amount of action directed outwardly is taken.

I was surprised af too... like, it was something so small... usual

@thankyougaia🌍 yeah.. maybe it means that they like them, I guess.. like an 'I love you' said superficially all the time, maybe oh... now I get it. Maybe it is for promotion and impact to the audience, if it is for followers.

Saying things completely changed my life 10,000 days in a row completely changed my life.

And yet occasionally, they mention or happen to slip up just how unenlightened - or in need of help - they still are [i.e. that they suffer from anxiety, poor sleep, etc, despite having previously made many videos on how they have allegedly overcome such ailments]...

This comment changed my life, number 12 will blow your mind.

It will never be ok to willfully ignore world issues

@vv-sque I wish there was more emphasis on balance in this video, yes we literally do need to unplug from the Feed for our bodies and mind sake, but also yes it’s important to be involved with our communities and help where we can. I don’t see this creator that far from Matt or Nathan personally, those creators are very globally conscious. It’s possible to be both simultaneously. I believe it’s our duty to do self reflection, to be mentally healthy individuals in service TO society. It’s not completely selfish or coping. Anyway yeah wasn’t crazy about this video

⁠@@diegorivera9197i have a very intelligent friend that would agree with you. He is depressed as shit. He has a masters in a field where he can do good. All he does is day drinking and lament the state of the world.

@@diegorivera9197 so what are you personally doing to combat world issues? protesting does not solve anything what problem have you already helped solving or are actually working towards? complaining online also doesn't count since it won't change any issues

@@diegorivera9197 Your reply makes me think of my father. He puts on a sad face when confronted with an ugly reality, follows it up with some very generic statement about how wrong it is and how sorry he feels for those suffering... and then that's it. He goes back to his usual life and has done nothing to help others, but he's managed to clear his conscience. When asked what is the point of those street/anti-government protests, his reply is "None, but at least people expressed their views". Unless you're actually doing something about it (and I am not saying you are not), protesting, commenting online or expressing concern changes nothing whatsoever.

Yeah, this is me to a T haha. Well said. The pressure to constantly engage and stay informed worsened my mental health considerably. After a very long time grappling with the fear and shame around non-engagement, I became so unwell I had no choice but to disconnect from it all. I'm almost certain that I needed to disengage in the way I did in order to survive (I was the same with being unable to focus on self-care and was close to suicide many times). I'm significantly healthier now for doing this, not to mention better able to be of service. Of course we care, of course it's important to engage, to stay informed, to help... but to the best of our abilities. It's going to look very different for different people with their particular capacites in the short and long-term. Reducing it to priviledged ignorance and complacency worthy of shame is not helpful, nuanced or compassionate. Really nice to read from someone in a similar boat

Yeah I feel exactly the same. Also any time anyone like myself expresses a weariness/emotional exhaustion with watching the news, they get hit with "WELL IMAGINE HOW HARD IT MUST BE FOR THE PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIVING IT!!!!". Yes, I'm sure it must be much harder to live through it, but my emotional stress isn't helping anyone. Simple facts.

I'm sending love to everyone in this thread. Sometimes, after reading the news and talking talking talking about them I felt an incredible amount of anxiety because I felt like what I was doing to "change things" wasn't enough. But truth is it will never be enough. People aren't so easy to have their minds changed. And trying so hard to do so is just frustrating, upsetting and distressing. It was for me, at least. My relationships suffered too and that was when I decided to dramatically cut down the hours I spent catching up with what's going on. I'm in a such better place now, mentally and emotionally.

Thank you for sharing this because I'm going through exactly what you're talking about.

Some people are going to have a harder time dealing with the whole world on fire than others, and the particular communities or attitudes or tools it would take for each of us to handle it aren't ones that are obvious and readily available much of the time. IF you can do something about the world, do it; if you can't, look for other ways; if you still can't, see just how much beyond your own self you _can_ take in and improve. We need everyone to do their own part - we don't need anyone to do a part they _can't_ do.

Absolutely. A balanced approach is difficult but I agree it seems like the best way

It's odd, but it seems to me that many people no longer see a need to solve problems, internal or external.. They're content to just point them out as a rationale for not doing anything.

This resonates with what has worked best in my life. The more one can live in that contradictory space between the two, the more effective she or he will be.

Finally someone said that. Otherwise people just take sides on which one is better. Extreme of anything,no matter how good or noble it is, is never the answer. Balance is what we need.

Wait how can you say that anger is not negative and in the next sentence say you are tired of conflict? Anger is very often the reason we have conflict...

@@mememeet4140 Read in full sentences. I didn't say I was tired of conflict. I said I'm tired of all conflict being viewed as traumatic or proof that your ex was a narcissist. Sometimes you need to disagree and sort out what's bothering you. Which follows on from my statement that anger can be positive and motivate us to change.

Do no harm. With the range of emotions we have, the golden rule applies.

Life is all about balance. We need both yin and yang in our lives.

Agreed. And I liked one of the last thoughts of the video: What if getting Angry was Self-Help? we can engage with anger, without letting it consume us (hard as hell, I know - but I think its better than just ignoring it all together)

So well said!! 🙌

absolutely!!

Who said that quote? Sound very wise

@@marte1376 Reinhold Niebuhr

Serenitea Prayer

Thank you so much for sharing your perspective on this!

Counterpoint: modern activism can be detrimental to mental health. Primarily I'm talking about the mentality of victims. In terms of mental health it is a harmful and self perpetuating place to have the mentality of the oppressed. You don't "win" from the the position of a victim without taking on the mind of a "victor". When you fight for the world to change you can get too caught up in it and forget that at the end of the day there is only you in your head. You may say that there are many voices of the outside world trying to get in your head and steer it with their ideas. But to be concerned with the outside and only the outside because you fear being concerned with yourself and only yourself is to do wrong by yourself. What I'm saying if you want respond to a stoic mindset about what you can control and what you cannot, do not overcorrect and forget the virtues of the individual.

Megan the point about Adler is so interesting! Going to read up more about it!

@@pseudonymousbeing987 Isn't it worth fighting for social justice and doing activism if the root of your problems are due to these issues? What if someone really is a victim of oppression, what then? Stoicism as a philosophy ignores the extent to which socio-economic issues and social conditioning play into our lives. It's willful blindness. If we don't engage in activism and tackle these issues, how can we solve the problems faced by the marginalized?

@@Shreyaa81 I am not saying what you are arguing against. I speak of balance. Read carefully, I am precise with language.

It's really interesting and insightful that you mentioned that being a minor self-improvement & self-help will help you be better prepared to engage in the real world. Just curious what makes you find Drews videos to be overthinking? Is it because they are a bit more philosophical or that he isn't asking the right questions?

@@krishnamadhusudan8370 Thank you :) I love the idea of the real world. I think I'm pretty good at it. Yeah, I find him pretentious. I love that Matt is down to earth. If we vibe, we vibe

Yes I agree, wish the creator talked more about how internal work can effect your friends or community in a positive way.

@@Chrisjonpage thank you for commenting :)

Thank you so much ! 🥰

It’s taken me a long time to realize it, but my anger is a tool to help me know what I’m called to help change and transform. The more connected we are to our identity, the clearer the areas we are meant to impact politically, socially and otherwise, becomes. Thank you for sharing how you’ve been navigating this too.

So what does your anger mean for your stoic mindet? Can the two exist together...

@@KomalMinhas You said this so eloquently and I agree wholeheartedly. Anger reveals so much about us if we approach it from your perspective

@@KomalMinhas That's what aristotle said that we can't eliminate anger but senecca (Stoic) disagreed with him

It’s when one is not in the turmoil of a society that one can say things like’distance yourself , leave social media, money is not important etc’ , say that to a Syrian and the answer will be different. Lana is from Sweden based on the very few videos I watched, and sweden has fewer social issues and injustices , so of course she can say she lives in peace.

100%!

Golden words miss

I think that it depends more on the type of person that you are. If you deeply take at heart all the world’s matters then you’ll never be truly happy. But you can still live your life at peace and acknowledging all the injustice and violence in the world.

@@tsaraouth-4329 not when the problems are at your doorstep, it doesnt matter what type of person you are. From the commenter's name I would guess they are brazillian, which I am too, and we are going through intense political instability for the last few years, since the pandemic started more people are going hungry than decades ago when poverty was a huge problem, we are quickly reaching more deaths than the US from covid and we haven't had any serious measures to stop the spread so far, this isn't something we can just forget and be at peace with, everyday is a threat to every right we have gained and to our future. Not to mention people who are going through actual wars, of course we as humans make it through, find contentment where we can, but its tone deaf to say to people to just find peace with themselves when they are in the eye of the hurricane.

We are the society so changing our selves can change others ergo the society. Two things can be true, we tend to dichotomise everything watchout for that

Also: love your message at the end :)

@@ranicierkens666 You share my thoughts. Thanks for putting them into words ❤🙏

Agreed. This video is misinformed

more people must see this comment, she spoke it for me.

Agree. The criticisms against the videos are against claims they never made. She is just shitting on people for...expressing their views. The fact that the vloggers come from privilege is somewhat relevant (like I know Matt was able to live with his parents for a while before his filming career took off), but like, they're still allowed to make videos about whatever they want. Saying they are "brainwashing" is giving them too much power.

So true. I’m not a parent myself, but my parents argued for the majority of my childhood and I went through stuff at school which I believed had they not been arguing all the time, they would’ve seen I was struggling. It led me to developing anxiety snd depression, and for the longest time I resented them for not providing me with the childhood my friends had. When I started the healing process it opened up a lot of wounds and things that I’d been repressing. Although things when I was young were pretty shitty, and yes if things had been better I’d have went down a different path in life, dealing with trauma led me to an important realisation: parents are human. We’re sold a story through the media of what a perfect family is, and what perfect parents are, and anything less than that is imperfect, but it doesn’t take into account that parents have feelings, and aren’t always happy and sometimes struggle, all while trying to feed, clothe, and raise children. That’s hard. My mum was struggling with stuff when I was young but I didn’t know because we were never told, and her anxiety gave me anxiety, and we would set each other off. Looking back, I was just as guilty of being an arsehole as well, and for a long time I wished my parents reacted to everything differently. It can’t be easy though navigating your own stuff with an narky teenager to deal with. Anyway, this has went off on a bit of a tangent. Basically, I agree with you, parents don’t have it easy and at some point the children have to take responsibility for their own feelings and reactions.

@@michcookies Thank you for sharing your story. Yes, it’s very difficult for everyone involved. I think the best we can do is be aware and just be open to conversations about feelings and be able to accept that someone else’s feelings don’t have to automatically be your own. I get told all the time by my own kids “It’s your fault!” And it hurts, I don’t always have nerves of steel, but knowing they are going through stuff too helps. I really appreciate you telling your side of things from that perspective. It actually helps to forgive them more and myself more to hear it.

Of course there are many factors But the first and foremost human beings that any child looks up to is their parent themselves So yeah The burden of responsibility isn't enormous on the parents It's actually real And better the earlier it's known and acted out on

“It’s time we take responsibility of our own lives” Personally I always knew I was responsible for my healing and for fixing my life, I definitely never thought my parents were gonna do that job since they’re the ones who did a lot of the damage & it’s obvious that the ppl who hurt u will not be the ones to fix you. So it’s your responsibility, who’s else’s would it be anyway? Just bc someone recognizes the role their parents played in their life doesn’t mean they’re not taking responsibility for their own life

@@GlamGoddes101 Good for you. That’s not what I’m talking about. Im talking about the current movement of reaching into childhood trauma. Not everyone has dealt with those issues and things Can resurface at a later age than when abuse happened. When it’s revisited issues can happen with parental blame. I’ve listened to hours of that kind of content and while it has helped heal my relationship with my abusers, at first it made me have a skewed view of how much a parent could potentially be responsible for. These videos don’t always focus on how many other factors there are towards ourselves especially our thoughts which are the most important. There needs to be a shift of focus towards how much our thoughts create our realities and it’s not always an outside force making everything horrible. This is specifically targeted to people who have suffered childhood trauma and who currently suffer disorders such as CPTSD. It is a daily mountain to climb and everyday has to begin with our personal thoughts towards ourselves when we’ve gone through so many years of horrifying experiences. So yeah the guilt is real. The blame is real - but it doesn’t have to be a burden.

Yes, learn from the stoics: filter your perception

@@Greenisthebestcolor I got it from parents, some teachers, doctors, sometimes even colleagues.

Exactly. Take what works for you and discard the rest. None of these youtubers are brainwashing you unless you let them.

@@googleaccount6919 honestly, get over yourself. There are billions of hours of videos on KZfaq. Find what works for you. It is incredibly self centered to expect all content, or even most, to be catered to you. Human beings have different realities and that will always be the case. Find a youtuber whose reality resonates with you, and leave the rest. I don't like any of these creators' works, including this lady. But I respect that their videos are from their perspective in life. Live and let live.

Exactly I feel like people take things too serious.. like you are responsible for your life and you only. If you don’t like it then don’t watch it I personally feel these ppl aren’t doing anything wrong

@@googleaccount6919 not everyone believes what you believe and it seems that you're asserting yourself as fully correct and impossible to be wrong. Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, these youtubers don't believe in what you believe? Now that you've come to this realization do you see them as awful monsters that should be kept away from society in cages where the key has been thrown away? As the other person said get over yourself.

That's not their REAL lifestyle. It's edited as f**k with 10 Instagram filters LOL

Totally agree with you !

Dude yes! Commentary are the best.

Hmm, I haven’t quite noticed that theme on TSOL. I think that that channel simply makes you aware of how others affect you, like in your childhood, and how can it be your fault since you’re still a baby at that time?

I wouldn't say that TSOL is always putting the problem on other people. I believe it fair to say that our childhood plays a huge role in how we're built psychologically. In almost all of their videos there is a what should you do or ask yourself. I've been on therapy for about a year now and rewatching some of the TSOL videos, I can now understand better certain things and I am fascinated by how accurate they are. [English is not my native language :) ]

I enjoyed Alain's mini documentaries on the history and philosophy of happiness featuring different philosophers' takes. From many years ago. Maybe he should go back into something similar where he can get genuine reactions from the people he meets, you know, actual demographics, not just statistics or something. But yes, I started noticing critical takes on his content. I still have one friend who still watches TSOL. I don't know how to break it to her lol.

If you have ever used the app I think it's disbanded now there was so much bulling from people claiming to be of better intelligence

I definitely don't think that's the message TSOL was trying to send and I definitely did not get that AT ALL.

Age does not define life experience though.

You could have plenty of life experience by 20, or next to no life experience + a sheltered life at 50. I don’t think we can judge life experience on age

What is wisdom? how do we measure it?

+ we have to understand that every human being is different. There is no perfect answer to this topic and that’s okay. I think the key is balance, being self-oriented or being completely into other’s people problems is not healthy. Somewhere in the middle is where I personally think is the healthy way for most of us. I loved your video, thank you for sharing your perception💕

This💕.

I really think she should do some meditation videos or something. Listening to her has help calm my anxiety. She naturally does CBT

I also find Lana's videos very relaxing and calming and usually agree with her reflections. And must admit looking at her is very enjoyable xD

Right ❤️

really though. i got this video recommended and i was like okay that's a different view of things. then i checked all the other videos and all of them are just finding problems in everything on the internet. this is just unnecessary

What's your interpretation of middleground?

@@JivanNavij middle ground is the name of the panel by the Chanel jubilee

thank you! that middle ground shit always bothered me

Middle ground used to be interesting but now they're discussing the dumbest shit or debating if people deserve rights

@@starzies they give room for bigots to portray them as people who just have different opinions and the other side as radical liberals who don’t know how to be tolerant to other folks opinions. The Trump supporters videos comes to mind- they tried to make trump supporters be kind folks who aren’t bigots. However, they did not provide nuance for people who voted Trump despite not liking him and knew he was problematic but were convinced that he could help them financially because they didn’t trust the alternative (democrats) vs. people who support trump because they’re okay and even support his disgusting bigotry and want him to be [more] racist.

Yeah people in self help would say it's our fault when like that's not always the case. Society has a lot of injustices.

If you want to become a miserable depressed mess, watch the news as soon as you get up. You're 100 percent right and the social media thing.

I just want people to be educated on what is going on in their community and country, even the world, since they are electing political parties/politicians. That's one aspect of why I think keeping up with the news is important, though I understand that that can be emotionally draining at times. It's all about balance, just like everything else. (and not only reading about the big and bad news, but about positive news as well:)

@@user-xd8qi5dg1y hello:) well with reading the news, in my part of the world in Europe at least, a lot of what is written is just pushing a certain agenda to the public, which includes watered down and/or false information. But yea I agree that we do need to know what is going on around us and in the world but also not believe everything being reported. But I do stand by relinquishing unnecessary forms of social media such as Instagram and fb as I have done so myself for nearly 2 months now and these 2 months have been the most productive of my life:D

Watching the news is important, and watching from an unbiased source is extremely important. We need honest journalism. We can't completely cut it out. We should watch on our on time and keep a time limit. Like 2 hrs everyday or every other day. Same with social media, the problem is that we engage with it all the time. As soon as we wake up we're active on social media. This is harmful. If u don't want to completely cut it out, cuz ofc we have some friends there, we should keep a time limit. That's it

This exactly✨

Agree

She definitely has a self-help channel, 90percent of her videos are about how to improve your experience of life/work on yourself to become a better person... Her earliest videos were even more self-helpy than they are now

I agree!

Eu concordo com você Ana! Até porque Lana tem uma personalidade diferente, é apenas um ponto de vista e uma visão de mundo diferente. E faz a gente refletir. Inclusive, eu acho que certos tipos de pessoas teriam problemas sérios de ansiedade se começassem a se engajar com problemas sociais. Cada ser humano tem uma configuração diferente.

@@kathryn1397 It is not an "alternate" way of living. It is how most people would live if they had the privilege. Showing this alternative way of living is also their way of funding their way of living which I find so funny. No one's calling them bad. No need to defend them.

@@maheenm.k1015 remembering that if everyone lives in conditions "without privileges" this is what will continue to exist forever and ever. Someone has to start living a different life, to show that it is possible.

Agree!

She didn’t say these three creators are brainwashing their viewers. It’s more a general comment on youtube self-help. If you do x, y and z you will be free, successful, quit your job and really start living, etc. But what about the many people these variables are not possible due to socio-economic reasons.

@@Carolll9 if this is the case, the title is a bit misleading

Agree!

Totally agree!

Thank you 🥰

Yes

Same! I'm so happy this channel got recommended to me, I love this style of content

Sameeee

Same here. 🙏🏻

"Brainwashing" has a negative connotation, but there are ideas that are handed down generationally and that we generally accept uncritically, which as someone who experienced cultic abuse, can be experienced as covert coercion through employment of cultural/social systems. I feel a lot of self-help figures and ideas play into our culturally accepted means of...coping? (for example, the west's widely accepted ideas of forgiveness towards your oppressor and how it aligns with Christian belief) Either way, critical examination of this kind of content, and in general, individual critical examination of most media through unbiased standards, *is* difficult for a lot of people, as shown by our current political climates. The internet, and by extension, the world, is filled to the brim with abusive cultic figures endorsing self-help and ideas promising the betterment of oneself. Holding these figures or channels up to scrutiny and bringing up the "brainwashing," "cult" issue, even if they seem harmless, is IMO a lot better at damage reduction than letting them freely run amuck or turning a blind eye to it. We all know how that's turned out before.

I'm not familiar with the others but I don't get what's wrong with school of life. It just puts forward ideas about life, many of which are based on fact.

I agree with you! their content has made me reflect and really helped me in my every day life.

Agree. I'm also extremely confused at the assumption that "self-help" content and social/political activisism are mutually exclusive? Don't get me wrong, I don't like all self-help content, but were any of them claiming to be universal in solving problems?? The self-help books I've read focus on individual, day-to-day behavior, while the political books I read are about larger systems and historical events. They don't cancel each other out. I'm sure there is self-help content out there that is very militant about "this way is the best way", but most are framed as suggestions.

I wish self help could actually help me. And i agree i think the idea and tips does help people, but as someone like me who have bipolar i get overly obessed to the point that if i dont fullfilled this or dont succeed this im indeed a failure,lazy,no dicipline and then i go on days being severe depressed, yes its my fault i can agree with that. Im sharing why it could be bad/dangerous for people who deals with heavily stuff but people with right intention and know a good balance i dont see why it doesnt work c:.

I agree. And understand who you are through neuroscience. Then, we can understand other people' behaviors and truly try to change something external..

This right here. I had such little self worth up until a year ago. I was trying to help three friends through their mental health issues, all while avoiding mine. I believed the only value I had was from helping them. But if I ever felt like I wasn’t useful, then I didn’t have a reason to live. So I had to learn to care about myself. To be selfish. And eventually, I was able to live a fulfilling life. I still help my friends, but now I am able to help them in a better and more helpful way. Through helping myself, I am able to give advice that I know actually works, and I have more energy to help more people.

I understand what you are saying but I realize that a significant portion of my anxiety comes from the outside. It’s partially this system that makes us anxious and depressed. I guess we have to realize that anxiety and depression don’t come only from within. The unfair system (may it be capitalism, heteronormativity, patriarchy, racism, orientalism, etc.) causes lots of our mental problems to arise and worsen. Yes, sometimes I’m unable to participate in social issues when I feel especially anxious, you are right. But the issues cannot be solved from internal emphasis only. There is this book called Depression - Public Feeling. And I’m sure you can find it on libgen. It describes a lot of these ideas and it’s a sort of an autobiography as well. I was really thankful to have found the book that described so much of what I was feeling intuitively and affectively. I think the problem with these channels is that they do not acknowledge this overarching system at all and put all the emphasis on the individual only. And that is really blind to all the social issues right now and will not help us long term. Also I doubt minimalism and clean space can fix any serious mental issues, I’m saying this as a person who has been trying to be a minimalist for 4-5 years and likes clean spaces.

@@mariamshalvashvili8108 I can see why you have this perspective, but It’s because of how chaotic the outside is, that it’s so important to have a healthy internal system. If you don’t fix your glasses (the way you perceive the world) you will only see things through a broken lens. That’s not to say that bad shit doesn’t happen around us, or that we should live in ignorance, but we also shouldn’t let it have so much control over our lives. These channels are actually extremely helpful for people who are specifically searching for introspective subjects. I don’t understand why someone would be upset that they don’t talk about politics. Do you click those videos expecting them to talk about social issues? There’s different channels for that, just as there’s different music playlists. Our search history is different every day because we aren’t always searching for the same thing. If these channels started guilt tripping people after giving them advice to care for themselves, it’d be unproductive for the viewer. I’ve personally had a hard time learning that being selfish is not something to feel guilty about (after being a complete people pleaser) and these channels are what I really needed to be my own person. You say that it doesn’t help long term, but you underestimate a clean headspace. People with mental clarity are more aware of their opinions on say, social issues, and would have a better way of going about it. They know who they are because they did the work of getting to know themselves, so unlike many activists, they will be able to detach themselves from the issue, and it won’t cause them to take things as personally. Many people act like their political views are their identity which is untrue. Political views are simply a branch that stems from the core of your identity. To your last point about minimalism, it’s a more external focus to be a minimalist. I think if you haven’t first focused on the internal work, being a minimalist won’t have much meaning. It’ll just be a simple money saver. But I look at minimalism more thoughtfully. I had to have that mindset from a young age because my mom didn’t have a lot of money. So spending wisely made me more grateful for what I did have, and it made buying things that much more fulfilling. It’s all perspective.

Nothing is apolitical. When Jordan Peterson says to not try to fix the world to instead clean your room, that is a political argument against activism. And as was said in this video, promoting constant positivity is a political statement because then anyone angry at the system is not someone to take seriously because they “didn’t work on themselves first.” We have every right and duty to be political and get angry regardless of our mental state. If I say capitalism contributes to my depression that’s a valid thing to complain about, I don’t have to wait to get over my depression to make it. It’s more true when the negative internal life is due to external life. Like maybe you can’t clean your room because you work two jobs because the government won’t raise the minimum wage. So saying to disconnect and work only on the internal is a clear political statement of apathy to social problems

Exactly my thoughts! Just because someone is preaching something, doesn’t mean you have to follow their advice.

Well said. imo some of these comments are ridiculous. They come in with the assumption that self-help videos promise a universal truth that solves all their problems but they really are just perspectives that can be listened to or ignored. Then they get disappointed and dismissive when the content doesn't meet their expectations or doesn't have something that they can personally relate to.

Exactly

That's so true! You have to put the oxygen mask on your own face first, before helping others.

That's been my experience with this type of content. I'm confused that these videos are considered alternative self-help when their recommendations aren't outside of what therapists have recommended to me.

At the beginning it might give you a sense of purpose, a sense of hope, but as time passes and you get to realize the size of the issue it really can take you to your knees. My conclusion is to think everyone should fight injustice just for a little while, and then scale it down, a lot.

> it's exposing yourself to toxicity. It can only do so much though. If you expose yourself for too long, you'll give up and become part of it. Solely exposing yourself to toxicity is absolutely NOT the answer. Calling it out IS the answer even if it makes you look like an a hole.

I agree. Woow reading your comment made me further realise what all this self help introperspective videos have done to me. I felt so self absorbed and so focused on my path that it ended up negatively impacting my perspective of other people (and myself) in my life. I did distance myself from their video bc of them overly guiding my own life but i didn’t know why - i just knew it wasn’t healthy. This really gave me the answer i lacked so thank you so much for your comment and sharing your insight! 💕

exactly

Same here. I am in therapy for years, both in private sessions and group work. Everything I saw on that chanel is consistent with what I learned and saw. I am not privileged in many aspects of life, therapy didn't change that, sure, but still it helps tremendously. The world is flawed (to say the least), but so are we. I see nothing wrong with bettering at least that part that you can. I am liberal, but I found this video quite bs to be honest.

That’s so true there is a difference between anger and indignation. It would be helpful if these channels distinguished between the two so no one feels invalidated for the valid type of anger.

It felt intellectually dishonest to criticize TSOL's focus on childhood events as unfounded, even though she has a point that their videos could be improved by providing sources.

people who are really into social justice try to make everything political and by extension pass a moral judgment. It's quite annoying. The funny thing is that they mostly do it on social media to get likes recognition or views ( and by extension money) while at the same time they complain about Capitalism even though they are really into consumerism.

@@victoriap1561 👏👏👏

Your comment is nuanced and gets at the core of at least what we are really dealing in this world of sensational nonsense making the news and the great divide among us. I think this KZfaqr is genuine but I think her self-perceived privilege (and possibly lack of experience in the unprotected world which may be part due to youth but mostly mindset) is blinding her to the complexities of power struggles, at least in the US. The only reason I’m mentioning US because there is a clip of one of our many politicians who turned their backs on the progressive movement for ALL. We need to realize the impact of not only what we are consuming and getting out of consuming any content (especially stressful) but also why it is offered more often. Also, these KZfaqrs should not have unjust assumptions placed on them when they are helping a community. What actions of your protests yielded significant change without working to support building a community from within? I challenge those who look down on those who focus on helping others manage their stressors to go into the communities they claim to fight for and work with them to build up. It’s way harder then meeting at a location with a poster board. I’ve done this for years as a volunteer and never saw our well-known community protestors in the weeds yet I have had the blessings of seeing young lives changed through our unfunded grassroots work. This type of revolution will not be televised. I’m sure many groups (esp immigrant and minority) grew up hearing “you have to be better” even during the most challenging times in our society. In some cases that leads to self-destruction without limits but overall what is the other choice? You can’t only protest and tell everyone you are so virtuous. Where does theory meet practicality in this junction? This is not a personal attack on anyone. 🙏🏾

lololol same

Absolutely agree with you. I think it’s important to balance between these 2 approaches, none of them is bad per se, but misbalance will certainly affect you in a way you don’t want. I used to be very political and socially active and while fighting injustice made me feel good, it was not enough: eventually I burnt out and my mental health got worse because I had to deal with haters everyday.. since humans are social beings which their own psyche, i think we need to improve both ourselves and the system to really help ourselves and others

@@ForeverRii The German Film sounds interesting. Do you have a title?

@@toomuchinformation Yes, it is : And Tomorrow The Entire World.

@@juliette_lummm Thank you, it looks very interesting. It starts on May 6 on Netflix.

So that's why some moms mistreat some of their children (usually the middle child) they cannot have time for themselves as they're trying to do everything for their family..they have to much on their plate so they redirect their negative emotions accumulated from suffering to a family member..and if that family member is the dad then the marriage can fall apart...wow

That is my strategy and has been working wonders for me.

​@@LaVaneBea I know that it works in terms of not feeling bad about it, I mean I get all cynical from it too because often all the positive things that happen are not covered that much (which is why I'm searching for journalism with a more positive/negative news balance) - but I also feel an obligation to reduce suffering in the world as much as I can, and if all the empathetic people that are affected more by the news, the people who care, close their eyes on the bad stuff that's happening that's kinda bad for the world. If I don't care about the news I can just too easily forget how bad the reality of the climate crisis is e.g. and ignore that it threatens my future and the lives of so many others. But I shouldn't ignore that, because it actually has a negative impact and influence on my future and thus my current life. And I can't effectively do something about it, without knowing what's going on. I don't say that you can't help without reading the news. But I feel like you need to face the reality of bad shit happening in some way in order to change it. And when I can help I should help. I don't want to be a happy bystander. If you've successfully included that in your strategy, please share! 👐🏼

@@OutsideOurCave It depends on your close environment. If you live in a middle class suburb of a wealthy country, you may forget the sh*tty stuff when you don't watch the news, but... If you live in a place of social struggle, believe me, reality won't let you forget what's happening around you. The least you want is the news rubbing your situation, or the dangers around it, right on your face, because that, also, can contribute to stop taking action for betterment.

Hi

I’ve narrowed my news source down to one primarily data based podcast that I only occasionally listen to and I’ve found that the lack of doom scrolling has actually helped free up some less anxious part of my brain. That said, I’m surprised about how much news I still consume in an unintentional way. Maybe it’s because I’m a liberal in the US and most of my friends/family are liberals in the US and they send me stuff but I have not missed any major news story since I stopped actively seeking out so much news.

Exactly! I disagree with what Alice said that childhood traumas are not scientifically proven. In fact, there is a great book called The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. (whose work is not at all related to Alain de Botton) which researches this and shows there is a connection. I went through childhood trauma myself and am doing therapy to process it. My mental health and life is much better than it was 6 years ago before therapy. I do find the School of Life videos helpful and have watched many of them. They are general so I don't expect that they can actually change people's lives. I see them more as tools to spark some ideas. If people really want to help themselves, watching YT videos isn't going to do it. They need to put in the real work on improving their lives.

@@jenniferlu7649 my gf is reading that book right now! when the body says no by gabor mate is good too. i agree, these videos has and even going to therapy are NOT going to heal anyone, one has to decide to face their "demons" or i rather say "their younger self" and forgive themselves. life is such a beautiful thing if one is willing to work on it to be able to see it that way. i watch "actualized" with leo and its the one i listen to when i need a cut throat approach but the content is amazing. i truly believe that mental health plays a major major major part to illnesses and it needs to be studied a lot more. imagine if 10% of the population were truly healed? this world would be a much different place.

Of course childhood trauma is a huge issue on so many of us. But it is not the sole cause to all life problems, that’s what the video tries to state as I understood it. Something as complex as depression cannot be pinned down solely on childhood trauma though it may be one of it’s root causes. But there are also social pressures at stake, specially for marginalized groups. A homosexual man in Uganda may be deeply depressed, maybe he had a traumatic experience in childhood and that’s part of the root causes, but maybe the main cause is that in his country they just legalized the death penalty for sexual intercourse between men. So no matter how long he goes to therapy, meditates or journals each night, that won’t erase the fact that he lives in a country where he risks death if he is ever caught with a partner. That’s what this video is about, self help tends to ignore that there are also heavy social and political variables at stake when talking about mental health and overall happiness, self help is mostly targeted towards middle and upper middle class people from developed countries, but it pretends to be of universal applicability, kind of how the Oscars are for American and English speaking cinema, but is perceived as representative of the whole world.

@@jenniferlu7649In her defense, she didn’t say that child trauma is not scientifically proven, she said that the School of Life never cites the sources for what their videos state around the topic, and that should be a real concern since Childhood Trauma has become a kind of buzz word in the self help industry.

Totally agree. I also don't think every channel and video has to be about politics and social justice--that would get super exhausting. It's okay to have channels about self-care/productivity/etc

@@ClaireCraig 100%

you worded it perfectly 💯

@@angelmoldez3512 Gee thanks so much 😊

Love this and agree 100%