Yeah but there's two kinds: 1) Is back-stabbing others.... 2) Is warning you of others. Good luck discerning the difference... One pointer I can offer is that the back-stabber will act friendly to the people they back-stab.

That pertains to anyone. Not just at work. I don't tell anyone anything I don't want spread around anymore.

Yeah I saw one of my coworkers who is “friends” with another coworker on her day off she ran to the manger to tell her how poorly she does her job and how she had to do everything single handily😂

Facts

Facts!!!!!

Rule 4: If it's a family buissiness "You aint family"

@@hamilcarbarca8659 -Rule#5- If the company says "We're a family"... watch out.

@@hamilcarbarca8659 so what company classifies as family then??

@@fargeeks I was speaking about a mom and pop type place such as where I worked. The father ran it and his kid did H.R. You had jokers there that worked there a long time and figured they were part of the "Family". They got woken up when asking for favors or a raise or what have you. That was what I meant.

Rule 4) Never trust HR, bankers or realtors.

True! I have a total of 3 friends lol. And they're all from middle school. The ones who stick around despite the struggles and situations of life are the real ones.

So true!!! Quality over quantity👏🏾

Yep

@@nicodoe9396 Do you though? Friends made in school are "friends of convenience", and often you split paths as life sets in and you find yourself as you age. I found real friends that I shared real values with later in life, and disconnected from "friends" from school. Either you're grasping onto them out of fear of being alone, can't make new real friends, or you're all developmentally stunted and all haven't changed which is even worse. Something to think about.

@@thepunisherxxx6804 the friends of convenience fall out of touch and the true ones stay. For me just 2

And if you stay distant they will lie

and no such thing as anonymous feedback

@NingYaakappa yup. And still I make sure I pinpoint the exact people by name of how terrible they are 😁😆

@@CarlosAndresR Yes, my daughter is learning this the hard way. She just quit her job of over a year after bringing up harassment complaints and being bullied in return. And now HR is pretending to investigate her complaints.

​@muriel5826 and nothing will happen... if anything they will take any comment or silly thing your daughter may have made, take it out of proportion and context and create false proofs to get ready for a lawsuit... I am so sorry for her.. Something else to remember... document absolutely everything.. every meeting every detail... send recap emails for those meetings.. record your meetings.. although that is not accepted in court or legal in many states.. it does help you out to remember little details. It is horrible.. you would think HR is fair... it is not. I am pretty sure she will find an even better job... karma does exist. Tell her to "just keep swiming" and not to relive that experience over and over.. I imagine she is a decent and hard worker person like most of us. She is going to be much better. ..

Yes!!

Facts. More like middle school in many cases.

​@@joyjewel748 Lol.

That’s how it is in the company I work for now. It’s the first large company I’ve ever worked for and I didn’t realize that it would be the same dynamic. I stay to myself and don’t form to a click, and somehow people still talk about me. Even more because I want nothing to do with it. I just come in, work, and go home.

WOW, WELL SAID 100% FACTS!!!

That's why I see work as funding for my life, nothing more.

This is just brutal thanks for guidance

I was at work standing at the office when two employees were going over who said what to who over Facebook. I told them I don't have social media because I don't want to be talking to anyone from work when I'm off of work. I got these surprised stares. Then I got transferred because of the gossip because corporate didn't want to investigate what was going on. It took more drama to be going on after I left for corporate to send a manager from where I was working to fix the problem. That manager came back and told me he would have fired over half the staff then asked me how I put up with all that and said I was one of the better workers he'd seen and tried getting me to transfer departments to work under him. I declined because I'm done. That cr*p was the last straw. The house is paid off and once the vehicles are paid off I'm cutting my hours. Said I'll be around for holidays, vacations, and emergencies. Which isn't many.

It’s insane how they will get you to think they are close and trustworthy. People are legit weirdos man

I know exactly who #3 is at my job.

Facts!

Totally true. I am fighting this now. Trying desperately to remain remote for this very reason...

No drama and palace intrigue!

This comment is so true

Sounds like the best home relief possible. ( And the ideal H R)

@@LishaJoya well said. This is also very exhausting. It would also explain why there is so much silence in the work meetings. Thank fcuk I work from home permo.

That's right. Keep it zipped.

Yeah it's so hard! I feel like you need someone to be real with at work, but you need to be careful

That's why you don't do it. I recently had my first job in an office setting recently and found out the hard way too. I'm not going back to an office setting. My honesty, trust and friendliness is not a weakness. I refuse to let it be. Corporate fakeness and nicety should be shunned. Don't settle for a job environment like that. If you need the money, you should try to get out asap. One of my favorite quotes: "You don't always get what you want, but you do always get what you allow." If you allow and participate in these kind of fake environments, you promote it. Promote honesty and truth. Much like social media, the corporate environment is like facebook. It's a sickness and should not be used in place of a real friendship, or in this case, a real profession. And if you're doing it just because it's a job, I would advise to expect more out of your life. It should be a profession, not a job.

Staying aloof is lousy for networking as well, both internally & externally. You have to make personal connections with these folks at some level, as that's really how people advance their careers. Certainly that's how it works in the high-end & senior mgmt white collar circles. Being judicious with your personal business, and careful with how close you get to people is just good life advice. The error here was getting too-close, too-soon with some guy he barely knew, in a place where everyone has an agenda/history (small towns & large companies alike). It's a common mistake, and can hit us in any context.

@Ismellfishallaround fish you need Allie’s regardless at a workplace. You need someone that’s willing to give you a seat at the table and SPONSOR you

Well if all your coworkers are robots then you can be robotically neutral lol 🤖

👍

Totally random. I agree with #4, and that is one difficult tongue twister! Say it 10 times fast!

Like how he frames the non-pushovers as "negative co-workers". Typical HR douche. It's probably not a mystery why his underling went and tattled on him, probably felt good.

Co workers are little kids unhappy with themselves so they are broken and empty inside and full of negativity, jealousy, double standards, hate, opinions, sneakyness etc.....programmed robot slaves of the system working from 9-5 thinking that happyness starts with extern factors like status, money, material things that means nothing and its relativ and an illusion create by society.....if your happyness depend on extern factors you will never be because extern factors are endless. If you are truly happy inside you will love another what shows how many aren't so you get all those points i say.... The more people around you, the more expectations, talk about others, lying, frustrations, negativity, jealousy, double standards, violent, hate, violent, own benefits etc..... I am happy to live my life alone and have more strength, peace, power, happyness, freedom and time.....no co workers or other around me.....

I'm going through this myself right now. Told my Lead (Leader) a complaint about coworker... and he goes on and talks about it to the Guy. When I said in Trust... for Nothing to be said! ....My Lead is a really Nice cool Guy that seemed Trustworthy! ...So I thought... .... And then it backfires in a way. F -----. I'm so Pissed off right now! Wow.

Ehh I wouldn’t say period. Just one, there’s always one backstabber & there’s always one associate/friend

This lack of fellowship makes it easier for employers to atomize people and maintain union busting.

Well, that didn't go the way he was hoping😂

What the hell... hahaha he got fired lmao what a stinky lil Dwiight

Smart owner ….

At another job same situation that person wouldve gotten a raise.

@@elliottpaine9259 sounds like you ..

You are right and wise

Same. I keep my private life separate from my work life, but all this has done is put a target on my back and made ppl more nosy about me. 🥴

Same here. I don’t tell my age either. One coworker asked me about it and I just smiled and jokingly said “old enough.” Besides the fact that your age is none of your coworkers’ business, their knowing it can also alter their perception of you and that can put you in a position of disadvantage in a workplace.

@@Mimi-iq4ll I have seen this one happen with men and then one of the admin people finds out they are married and then they wonder what this guy is up to, why didn't he tell people he was married? Hmmm?

Ohh boy. I shared too much then.. I told my project manager that I took vacation to meet my girlfriend's parents overseas

Apparently that goes for being antisocial too lol. I could be a NPC with what I say to my coworkers. "how's it going?" Or "oh im not too bad"

That and 'We believe in work/life balance' I feel like saying 'What? You believe it exists or that it needs to be tipped in your favour?'

Or were the truly fanily first company and family is first before work LOL yeah maybe for mangerment and owners but for the advage worker its not its used againt you with your personal life is unstable

How

@@DrOrr Simple. They would have no ways to manipulate you.

@@Info-God no i get that I wouldn’t “befriend” coworkers I’m asking how it’s an “absolute win” to not have any friends at all

@@DrOrr I see. Imo, you can have a friend made at work, but, do no share sensitive info about your personal life. Or. Have a work friend that does not work on same projects with you. Keep it under the radar. Even if you do not befriend anyone, but you shared an important detail (like your spouse works but theirs do not) you will be backstabbed like hell.

@@Info-God yeah I gotta remember the talk I make out of work should be different I make at work. I made a lot of mistakes looking back at the jobs I had in my earlier years in the workforce

💯

That's why we need good leaders like you to step up and lead.

Sounds like a reason to be more outgoing and confident 🤷‍♂️

This is very true. As much as I disagree with his principles, Machiavelli is right.

@@bryanrodarte5205 Could you elaborate on what you mean by "Machiavelli is right"? I want to learn the reference.

It’s annoying when people try to pull you in to stuff too. Just go, oh really? Hmm I didn’t notice that or wow! Just really vague neutral statements and change subject or leave. Unless it’s serious, but when is it ever?

@@brandonnotsowise2640 All of that. 🤣

It makes no difference if you're even seen talking to the wrong person

@@CradleEpiscopalian56 Very true. But generally speaking, if you're likeable people won't find ways to haveva problem with you like that~ And if they do? Karma works in mysterious ways, ofc ha ha.

Same. People sucks.

​@@mgyrnExactly. I never gossip or start rumours either. Leave me out of the drama.

Same here bud,ended turning against me.Glad I left

Smart!

I usually do sometimes I have the hardest time doing that. Especially when I have a weekly meeting with my manager and they always ask about whats going on in your life.

Life Lesson: People don't grow up, they just get older.

99% of the population requires a regular therapist visit, but like you said, most people mentally peaked before high school even ended. Theyre not the problem, everybody else is, right? Self improvement is work, and 99% of humanity is PETRIFIED with fear of work but lack the scrote to admit it.

Absolutely same experience at my last job. People getting way too deep into cliques too. People thought I was anti-social because I didn’t fall into that. I came to work and stayed out of drama. I watched so many women I worked with get into all kinds of ridiculous arguments.

For real grown ass people

I work at a middle school...nothing but wretched gossip.

It really is that simple isn’t it ? Good advice

@@ctt7971 A pastor said that once and it stuck.

Same here because it’s a job not summer camp

Or arrogant

It not a dating pool 🏊

“Fckem all” -tupac 😂

They are mad because they couldn't take advantage of you. Most people are just evil. If most people can get any kind of power over you they will destroy your life.

💯!

💯 Same!!!!

Yeah good luck with that . They keep you poor & working until you die. So.. Goid luck with that.

How can we invest???

You can start NOW. Become self employed. It may not happen overnight. But it gets you ready to manage on your own And it gives you cash I make more money and have fewer headaches. Employment doesn’t get better as you get older

That's a sweet story. I have two good friends of mine who are husband and wife, old enough to be my parents, who run a donut shop I worked at for over a year. They are like family to me and we all have a lot of dirt on one another. We could definitely rat one another out if we wanted to, but I would never do such a thing :)

Rare occurrence, but that's a real friend. Keep her

So true!

If you're going to have any social media you have to keep the real ones confidential and hidden, and have ones specifically made to be found by HR people doing research.

@@phantomspaceman Very smart. I keep my FB set to private.

@@Cyko.. I blocked all my coworkers on Instagram and of course my account is private 👌🏽

yup

Good advice. I don’t drink at all.

I never learn , I always stay until all the alcohol is gone, no talk just drink, it’s talking that gets everyone in trouble, no small talk either,

That is if you 'must attend at all'. Some work cultures demand that you make a showing. If the work culture of that job doesn't expect it then it's wise to not even be there.

Just tried this the other day and it worked well

Even better just don't go at all.

Seen that crap happen several times. Some folk aye.

well the fuck else do you make friends? A 40 hour work week demands your full attention and only Saturday is open to not have to devote everything either to work or resting up for work.

I know, is hard to find friends elsewhere@@generalhorse493

​@@generalhorse493I agree. The best friends I have are people I met at work. I don't work with them now but I met them through work initially.

Proud to be your 100th like

If you don't make a few "friends" you're not a part of The Culture which is worse.

Yea that’s exactly what I do. In all my years of working , I’ve never hung with people I work with. A simple rule for me is, the less I talk at work, unless it’s necessary, is the less back stabbers, will have to use against me. For some snakes, it doesn’t matter if you don’t say anything, they’ll make stuff up about you anyway.

Really sad people feel this way, maybe because I'm still in college working part time, but I never really had this as an issue

I have to keep the fact that I lowkey love russia

🎯

@@UltimateTS64 just wait you will. That is how the working world is. Don't learn the hard way.

Absolutely true, negative talk is the most important thing to avoid. We all have negative thoughts about what goes on at work, but in talking about it the wrong way in gossip, it's always like a personal attack against someone who thought it was a good idea, or is directly responsible for it. Train yourself to see the positive in everything, atleast just to get through conversations with colleagues.

I totally agree with you 100%. Never Trust your Coworkers as well.

VERY wise words…I’m the same…never talk negatively about anyone at the job as it can definitely come back to bite you.

Also realize that even if you don’t talk negatively about others, depending on the level of toxicity in the person’s personality, he/she MAY say that you said things you didn’t. Take some time observing people awhile before engaging at all.

right on, its not your problem, half the time its someone fishing anyway

Good for you for confronting her.

Maybe she had thyroid problem

Tbh the older ones are the worst.

It’s always the older ones that act childish. Trust me I understand!

No, just evil. Stop making excuses for bad behavior.

It can work the other way around. I was a manager and treated the people under me like friends and respected their needs (Ie: Health and Family First). In most cases that resulted in them being so grateful they would willingly volunteer to stay late and come in on weekends, knowing that if at the last minute they needed a day off for personal stuff, I would be okay with it. It's a tricky balance but can work. You just have to watch out for the "If you give them an inch, they take a mile" type people. They are pretty easy to weed out. But when employees feel like they are respected and not treated like a tool on the shelf, it's surprising how they will respond in kind. I have changed jobs and still go to Barbecues with some of the people I previously managed.

@@TangoNevada you sound like a fabulous manager/person

I just re-read your reply and realized you would be the last kind of person I would want to work for, or put in any extra effort for. You're creating an environment of people that will just do the minimum they need to do without getting fired, while also getting away with anything they can when you're not watching. What incentive do any of your employees have to go the extra mile or volunteer when it's not required? Fear of being fired? That sounds like hell, run by someone on a power trip.

@@TangoNevada I actually think he makes a great point. I don’t know what your background is, but I don’t think if you were not a manager for significant amount of time, you really understand it fully. I was a manager for 14 years. I can tell you firsthand that you do need a mixture. Of course you don’t want your employees to be so scared that they are going to quit and you are going to have high turnover, but you do not want buddies either. I know it sounds simple. It sounds simple enough that if the manager is really cool and treats you like a friend, it will make the employee more comfortable, and they will be willing to do more. However, this SEVERELY backfire on you, and I assure you that it absolutely will! In your mind, you might think that the person you are “being cool” with will obviously appreciate it and as a result, you will have a very loyal employee.. however, you have just created a monster. Yes there are some people out there that will not take advantage, but you have probably over 95% chance that they will. When you become friendly or especially with those that work underneath you, you have eliminated your power of fear. I don’t care what anybody says. There needs to be an element of fear involved. Whenever everything is going well, it seems like the best plan. We have a great relationship in the office and we all got each other‘s back, etc. but when things are not going so well or you have to push a directive from above you that your employees do not like, if they feel comfortable enough with you, they will provide serious pushback and make your job very difficult. Then you appear and incompetent to your superiors, and guess what. Your employees underneath you don’t give a shit. they only care about themselves, and that’s what you need to do. The more they praise you and the more they run around talking about how cool you are as a boss the worst of job you are doing. Because in the end of the day, like it or not, they are only singing your praises because they don’t want things to change because it benefits them. Your job as a boss is to make sure that you properly utilize your employees and delegate appropriate tasks because you have somebody to answer to above you. You will know the difference when YOUR boss comes in and you see your employees setting up straight and making sure their shirt is tucked in and looking busy and talking to your boss with a lot of respect and not seeing or hearing then give any pushback to the new directives that they hate. Why? Because they all RESPECT your boss, not you. As soon as your boss walks out the door, they will immediately try to be your friend again and tell you how glad they are that they left and reinforced how great they think you are, because they are afraid that you will eventually start doing your job and acting more like your boss. I’m saying this because I’ve done it both ways. At first I came out like a bowl of fire and I was pumped up to do my job and show the company that they made the right decision promoting me, and my employees hated my guts. Then as I got new employees, I changed my ways and started to become more cool with them. It was good because they were still doing what they had to do and they kept talking about how great of a manager I was and I was getting a lot of good feedback from people above me. However, when shit hit the fan with them and the company started doing different things, they did not want to follow my lead and they would say things to me that showed they were way too comfortable with me. For example I remember asking one of my employees why he did not do something and he complained to me that I don’t do it either. I just simply said to him let me ask you a question if my boss came in and asked you the same thing would you have had the same answer for him? He said honestly, no. I guess I see your point, that’s the problem. Anyway, I can go on all day about this and as I said, there needs to be a mixture. So I’m not saying I totally agree with this guy‘s post, but he definitely makes a good point. If you’re going to be one extreme or the other because you can’t handle a mixture, you are better off being the type of manager that he is describing the cool one. You will learn overtime that the word “cool” means “weak”. I can’t tell you how many really annoying managers that I couldn’t stand, when they left, I realized I learn a lot from them. I’ve never learned anything from the nice guys.

Shitty manager. You don’t have to be friends but this management style is lacking in leadership. You likely treat your employees like stock instead of humans. Also… there are managers who choose to be friends with some employees and not others. I don’t gossip, but I do call out poor management when I see it. I’m not my managers friend either. This can go both ways. He doesn’t care about me as a person, I can care about him even less. I never hang out with coworkers outside of work. I don’t go to “team-building” BS events (which under labor laws count as an extension of the workplace so you better not drink or let your guard down) and I would never drink with coworkers or bosses. My supervisor hits on nurses, gives preferential treatment to certain staff and violates company policies at his discretion to benefit certain individuals.

Absolutely 100%. I worked in a highly toxic factory and got my finger burned 20 odd years ago although I was an innocent bystander in the matter. The company was so toxic I quit the Job. These days, pretty much for the last 20 years I've kept peoples situations at arms length and repeat nothing, it's incredible to see that nobody can get a purchase on you with their petty dramas in the workplace to drag you into it too. I do wonder what these work-place drama queens and back-stabbers are like in their home life.

Yes. Let other people do the blathering. Just sit back, hold your tongue and walk away.

True, but those who gossiped are also watching and plotting against you. Even if uou don't engage. In my experience, it's best to keep quite, play boring infront of co-workers, and only show your true, authentic self to those who matter i.e your immediate superiors. No one else matters. Sad but true. There's a lot of broken, bitter, full of hate and spite souls out there with one objective...to bring everyone else down to their level so they don't have to feel so bad about themselves. As Jim Carrey says, beware of those who can't love themselves, for that way chaos lies... or something like that.

A coworker got fired because one of her FB friends sent a screenshot of her post (she took a pic in her cubicle) to her manager. These women were overjoyed at getting her fired. She learned the hard way that they were NOT her friends. Lesson learned- I no longer accepted friend requests from coworkers.

Hehhee so true

Cuz these idiots are the sources of information/intel for the management team

I'm glad my HR team is nothing like that

You'd think the lesson would be cleaning up a bad work place, and not "office gossip is bad". Bad management is bad, an unhappy work place is bad.

Because they don't care! As long as whatever is produced continues and they aren't being bothered, they don't care. Someone wants to be a boss for the power and the pay. Not to advocate for anybody else.

👏👏👏👏 this comment! I am so sick of management KNOWINGLY allowing trouble makers to disrupt the workplace! That's the main reason I ONLY work for places that are unionized. It's called a hostile work environment, and you can file complaints and get managers fired for ignoring it if you're in a strong union.

Yes, I’ve always heard it referred to as a “fair weather” friend, but I definitely agree with you.

Same thing happens when both of you are working for a promotion, but you got it.

coworkers are tornadoes. They can make you lose everything in an instant.

@@allthingschanice2485 - Being in the Military, makes it that harder.

Say it louder for the people in the back!! Yes and yes. 🙌

I agree.... I have been in the same situation as this video. Since switching to remote, I rarely talk to anyone unless it is about a project or work related. No personal or after hours meets.

I've done remote work. It's just as gossipy.

Remote work can be just as bad if not worse. At home it's easier to send someone a quick "off network" message

Well the thing is remote jobs are now harder and damn next impossible to get nowadays

@@aaronharlow2137 Must have been an extremely toxic environment to have leaked over to remote.

Bingo. Good advice. Doesn't mean you can't be cordial and professional. That's all that's required of you.

It shouldn’t be like this and there should be more protections for employees. And people who throw their coworkers under the bus deserve the same thing to happen to them times ten. I was betrayed in my job while in the middle of a short term disability claim in which I was working with a colostomy bag after my colon perforated and I was in the middle of a life altering medical condition. Let’s hope there is Karma for these evil individuals with no compassion or conscious!!!!

But when you do that, they consider you anti social and ostracize you and start rumors about you. I guess that's better than allowing them to have dirt on you.

@@pearleaton4933 so true.

@@pearleaton4933 But why do you care what they think? They're nobodies, just a bunch a yahoos you have to work with to....make money. That's ALL work is for (note I said "work", not "vocation")...earning a crust.

anything you say can and WILL be used against you! if they dont need to know...they dont need to know

@hlb0111 I say the less you speak to them at all (ESPECIALLY if it's not job-related), the better off you are (but, then, I've never really been a people person, anyway)!

​@@octoman_games My late father used to always tell me that the less people know your business, the better off you are.

@@thomasshort1784 the old guys had a lot to teach. So little time

Yep. Seen a coupke of people disappear after getting too drunk and mouthy at the annual work social event. I have avoided them for the last decade.

There is occasionally the person I meet at work who is more important than the job. True friends. Most people are just acquaintances. I'm pretty careful about what I say to them.

AKA coworkers are not your friends

A glimpse of what co workers do in your presence is what they’ll do behind your back.

@@jmwichert8842 I would argue that at that point the person no longer becomes a coworker and becomes a friend who you happen to work with. but you can really only do that if you explicitly understand that the relationship has changed. anyone else is still just a co-worker that you are friendly with.

And to avoid that I just avoid being friends with them outside of work simple as that. I've been screwed over a couple of times by people I thought having my back, thought nothing was wrong, then boom I'm in the HR office for some bullshit

I knew a couple of retirees that when I seen them and asked did they keep up with their buddies and the answer was a flat NO. I mean these dudes were always talking, hanging out etc. I was about 28 at the time and learned fast co workers are not your friends

@@jarvisaddison8560 I’m 28 and just learning that aswell even when you get befriended it’s usually due to ulterior motives

My understanding, and experience, is that coworkers generally represent nothing more than "situational friendships." That is, they may simulate friendship during temporal moments on the job, but outside, the dynamics are often radically different. The emotional ecology one works in is definitely worth carefully examining in order to safeguard one's collective well-being. Having effective personal boundaries is absolutely critical and indispensable! At work, one is better off regarding one's private life Personal & Confidential, as anything beyond small talk opens up uncertainty and risk. Regrettably, trusting HR and/or management is unsafe. What helped me tremendously was consulting an Industrial Psychologist, as they have a deep understanding of industry and its underlying dynamics. I was able to successfully complete my tour-of-duty and retire early.

@@9gje9 Spot on bro

I’ve experienced this a few times, I reached out to a few ex co-workers after I had switched jobs and they outright ignored my messages. Was pretty disheartening. There’s one I used to hang out with outside of work regularly and he now claims not to have time for me (was happy to use my PlayStation account though….I took this back and changed the password) yes, I learned the hard way co-workers are not your friends

Point exactly. It will come to the point in the future, when the true color reveal and show the other side of the coworker trust and backstab the coworker that's close to him/her.

​@@Renzo_AnimeI know what you mean. I've experienced this from a pimpass Judas

A picture is worth a thousand words especially in the trades. Solid advice

Your pro tip is good. Document, document, document.

You are SO right about the documentation. Bang on.

Great advice! 👍

As someone entering my first job ever now; this knowledge is golden. The video and comment section here actually made me realize I'm just dumb and starry-eyed about people. I really had no idea. So thanks a ton for the tips. I'm staying out of trouble.

That’s wild, I still hang out with people I’ve worked with. Maybe you just suck ?

or maybe you re just an idiot that can t grasp that there are good people and shitty people ?@@UTP_ENT

@@UTP_ENT Why would you say that? Just because you're lucky enough to have decent people to work with doesn't mean that everyone else can

@@UTP_ENT Brilliant reply! 🙄😬

Your mom was a wise woman.

This is the best way to threat it like 👍

Curious George, how long have you been in the working world?

@@BOSSDONMAN 39 years. And you?

You can find a good friend at work but its rare.

Yep, and IMHO that's especially true for a newbie in a small town culture, where 'everybody knows everybody else'... and they're fond of 'gossip'.

That's the correct way and the only way. Say nothing, collect the money, and move along 👌🙂

#Fact

I really wanted to hear this

I also needed to here that !!!. Meet you at the water cooler

Don't work for Home Depot.

Drinking booze with coworkers is a bad idea.

@@shootingbricks8554It is a very bad idea.

@@shootingbricks8554 bruh.......exactly but as soon as you do that you're label as outkast and you will start getting bad reviews or performance. I am in this situation.

It depends on the work environment. Sometimes socializing with them keys you in on important information you may not get at meetings or work hours. But in these cases, it’s best to let others do the talking. But I agree that it’s best to limit socialization.

And don't befriend them on social media either! It only gives them ammo to use against you

You said it. The most toxic people are the ones who can't mind their own damn business at work, I have noticed.

Yup I will be glad if I don’t become a human in my next reincarnation because all us humans are very twisted with their opinions and cause me so much anxiety. The only good thing our human vessels make is art in all its forms and video games and “fake” worlds.

That's the thing I'm doing right now, I don't like to talk about my personal life, I just go there to do my job and when it's time to leave I go home.

Most people have to have a bad experience before they learn to do this. This is why it's so good for teens to get working ASAP to learn these lessons before they get into their career jobs.

@@DJPillow-DJNayarit-DJTape I have had the same thoughts. I think I want to be a bird in the next life or go to another planet….

Yup they all just want your job. Even temps😂

Had the same situation happen to me. It does suck to not have friends and be a robot…but after that experience…I don’t talk or connect much with my coworkers other than “good morning” and “have a good night”. I’m specially on red alert because I’m the only guy in a team led by women…and without knowing people’s backgrounds or whatever they do and specially living in a blue state, I don’t even say what I did on the weekend when they ask because it may be church…and that may unknowingly offend someone 😂. So just keep to yourself and be robotic but don’t be an ass.

My restaurant job just hired a trans… and I fear that I could lose my job …am I angry..of course.. but if I get paired up with Mr pronoun… I may quit

May there be a special place in Hell for them.

That punk is a snitching and sucka

Yup. One of my good friends was actually my work manager/boss originally so a healthy, long term relationship with co-workers isn't impossible you just have to be wise and deserning about it but that true of all relationships.

Yup only say about a person what you would say to their face. It's the honest thing to do. Otherwise you are the one being the gossip.

Especially when they offer a nightout having a few beers hooing you droo your guard

Exactly, and if you do find yourself bitching about someone to another person by mistake, go directly to that person and appologise, Ive done it before, ive said hey mate, Ive been having a shit day and someone baited me into bithcing about things and the topic got onto workers, I try hard not to be involved in that kinda shit but i was wound up and made a mistake, I said this about you and i want to appologise to you directly as i made a mistake, ask for forgiveness. Ask if theres anything you can do to help them out. Some of my greatest friendships in life started this way. Honesty, openness and admitting when youve ducked up is what gets rid of un necessary departments like HR.

i mean in his story time he said something that he probably also coudlve said to the person it was about easily. still the words got heavily twisted and the situation got out of hand which is the problem almost always

That's the gist of it. I'll be friendly but we're not friends.

I said something that soon got me (said for a + on purpose) Then that person caused a stink. I then let them know this was all about who can you trust and not about fact. You failed. You will not get any heads up about when the next Shiza and the fan are about to be turned on. The bosses that sat in and agreed with the other side of this also got canned, later on. The complainer got canned before I retired. I also knew someone in HR and did it with his blessing. WE both did the same job before working there. I warned them. It would catch up to them. Was not my 1st rodeo.

It’s actually a really sick and dysfunctional thing for bosses to call the work team “family”. They aren’t. They would replace you in a day without batting an eye. You’re so smart. Your gut already told you this.

Rule No.1 man everything stays at work. I've had people joke and laugh with me then I find out they went to the supervisor behind my back. its SOOO sick!

The company just bought 3 tables at an event where there was an open bar. Because I am on the Board of similar organizations, I went to the event. Did not drink- saw multiple co-workers sloshed. Just shook my head and smiled. Sociable and friendly, but not friends. 🤷

Thanks!

As to ur #4 rule, my number 1 piece of advice, especially to older people, is always have bluetooth headphones with you. So you can always be listening to something that u can learn from, or even something entertaining will make ur work day fly by.

@learenng1267 I needed a bit of a refresher. Thanks for your comment 🙏🏼

The 4th comment does not apply to us retired person who works part time! I make up by lifting heavy objects! 💪

Great stuff here, especially #4. Let your company pay YOU to learn skills. You can use it to become more valuable at this job, or the next one.

I wholeheartedly agree with you!

I hate gossip, especially in the workplace. I've worked fast food and retail, so I've experienced LOTS OF IT, and I thought, " At least when I graduate, I won't have to deal with immature gossiping." I'm teaching next year. 😅

Yes

I worked at high school as well. It was constant gossip and a negative environment. A lot of it didn’t really interest me and didn’t fit in. So I basically quit, I came to the realization that those obviously have nothing better going on with their lives.

@notgonnaargue8986 it ain't finna get no better. I've done retail, fast food, banks, custodial, and now teaching. I eat in my classroom or teammates room. I never eat in the teachers' lounge. It's bad for your mental health.

damn good advice.

Amen

Words of wisdom.

Probably the wisest comment to be found on KZfaq really.

According to this, I should treat it like high school because teenagers do a lot of this crap more thannost adults I have ever met.

If you are the type of person to do so, I think you should have confronted her and made her squirm and seethe and extracted whatever explanation you could from her, and from then on, make some time every now and then to rekindle your fight with her and just continue to wear her down in the most malicious way you can. It works especially well with girls who aren’t exactly going to fight you lol, but you do have to cover your asss from harassment charges. So be careful of that. Moreover, you know where she works. You can find out more. In my view, it is equally important to repay debts and grudges. Just don’t let it take up too much mental space, and learn to enjoy what I told you to do so in moderation. People can become obsessed with revenge and its important to avoid that

You're lucky your boss is smart

Yep women are the worst especially insecure ones. Eventually these people get theirs.

You’re stupid for confiding in a female at a work place

That boss sounded like a standup guy, saw the bullshit and didn't jump to conclusions and punish you.

Not disagreeing with you or anything but families tend to be Dramatic too

So true. Don’t ever believe the “we’re a family “ speech. Watch your back.

@@ericeandco "we're a family" is just made up crap they say to milk more work out of people and set them into doing extra work and extra hours for the pay. Whenever they say that, it's a set up, walk away when they flash that exploiter's red flag right from the start. My anwer to that is always "i already have a family back home, who actually care about me. Not going to trade the little time i can spend each day with my family for work."

Yes, we’ve seen a lot about the family work environment on Instagram lately and I feel like more people are finally getting it

Facts. And if you really cared for these people you’re the one who gets hurt. Especially when you realize they never really cared for you at all. Or if they did, they believe the narcissist’s lies and were manipulated into turning on you. At that point they just like the way you come in and work hard to make them look better.

At this point does not matter who is right and who is wrong. it is clear that no one should work for in such company at first

Wow that’s pathetic. He should have gotten a raise regardless because life can throw at you cause you to lose everything.

Time to find a new job

Sounds like that was a few years ago but I hope your husband has moved to a better company. Corporate greed and the rat race for pay raises is truly evil.

@@ijustfelldown corporate greed definitely exist, imagine getting a .27 cent raise for top performer , and the worse performer .23 cents … and the big boys getting the bulk of the raises… it hurts specially when you sweat your butt off to get that extra money.

Good one. Just live by ourselves would be great

What happened?

Yes, especially those who are not in your own department you must watch what you do and say. I've worked most of my working experience at a casino and there are many different departments that just don't seem to like each other. If your a man, it's best to not talk much to females at the workplace. I've seen so many male workers get written up and sometimes fired from complains from females in the workplace. Don't know if the complaints were valid or not but I wouldn't be surprised if they weren't.

I'll never forget the co-worker who had a look of hatred in his eyes when I revealed during lunch that I oppose the public financing of campaigns under "campaign finance reform." Back then, I thought people of different political persuasions could still be friends. I was wrong then (20-25 years ago), and it's no doubt worse now.

During my annual appraisal, my manager said that I could trust others more. I laughed. 1. Why would I trust the people who've stabbed me in the back? 2. Why would I trust the people who I've seen and heard gossip? 3. Why would I trust the managers who've lied to me, yelled at me, stolen my ideas, and took credit for my work? That's asking me to commit career suicide. Trust is earned.

And for Pete's sake DON'T LOAN THEM MONEY!

I know it sucks to want to vent or relate some event but have to bottle it up. As according the rules of gossip and rumour mongering whomever you speak to is obligated to embelish, twist before passing on.

How do you know my ex wife?

Exactly!

Exactly. If you tell HR to set the record straight then you're seen as a litigation liability. WTH?

Someone once did that to me. She turned another team member against me for literally zero reason. That was my first and hopefully last contact with someone who is simply evil. Just nasty and destroys people for laughs.

Lol How boring. I bet you were the loner back in school too. Am i right? Please answer honestly

You must have a very sad life if that is your advice. People spend most of their lives at work, you have to be a really antisocial individual not to make friends at work.

@@theostragonidis7548 Sorry, but no. You choose your friends in life, you don't have them inadvertently thrust upon you when you start a job. I don't quite understand your need to comment simply to berate me in such a way. Did it make you that much happier?

@@chris101gray3 I'm really astounded by the sheer amount of antisocial people like you, who have the most ridiculous outlook on life. When you were in school, you also had people "inadvertently thrust upon you", did you not make friends there too? There are decent people everywhere, if you don't want to make friends where you work that's fine but don't think it's normal - it's not. People make friends at school, at university, at their jobs and at their retirement homes. That's what's normal.

Yeah, well, that's how they brand you as "the weird one". The only thing I found to be effective is to put on your psychopath suit. Act friendly and caring, always guard your tongue, and manipulate anyone who tries to manipulate you. Also, gather as much dirt on your boss and company as you can. Notice every discrepancy, especially if you found out that they've underpaid you. Use an app to clock in your hours for yourself if you get paid by a hourly rate so later you can compare the two to find any discrepancies. you should still clock in in some situations. For example, in "someone's" case where a fixed monthly pay was deducted by hours missed but not balanced with extra time which instead of paying the 100%-200% for, they decided to add 50 extra monthly hours as part of the global pay. What they did was illegal in my country in so many ways, that I'm not even going to try to start to explain it. Now, that SWIM (someone who isn't me) could've told this to their boss and get the payment sorted out but then fired a few months later for some bullshit. instead they waited until they wanted to quit, made said boss fire them so they get the larger severance pay, and the monthly unemployment payments (they basically pay you 75% of your calculated monthly average, each month for 6 months or until your find a new job). However, the best part was that they filed a complaint with the company for underpaying them with that illegally unbalanced monthly global, and demanded pay for all the hours they weren't paid for. Now, in my country, a personal timesheet (even one that's written by hand in a notebook) is evidence enough. The employer has to prove the employee was lying by providing timesheets that show a real discrepancy (not a few mistakes or tiny differences measured by minutes), and if the employer has none and tries to falsify them, this can be easily tested and once caught, they'll be charged with fraud, so no one in their right mind will try that move to try fool the system. Obviously that person wasn't lying, so the employer can't do s**t about it, so now the next step is on the employer. Unless they want to pay the full 500% extra to the employee (basically, the fine for not paying your worker on time is paying them an additional 500% of what you owe them) they'll have to argue their case at the national labour court, to get them to lower the 500% additional payment, which they'll most likely get lowered to somewhere between 25% to 100% which is what happens in most cases. So, you see, this is exactly why some employees try to be fake friendly and gather info from co-workers and be friendly with the boss to make them slip and say stuff they shouldn't have at the company day trip and again at the company dinner (which was then used by said employee to make their boss agree to their demand to fire them, which btw, their boss was the CEO of the company no less, lmao), because if they don't do that, someone else will do that to them, since almost everybody at work always tries to gather info on everyone else to be used as ammo for personal benefit, or as in my case, used as insurance against those who want to screw you over.

Bruh.......exactly and when you do use a sniff test to root out the gossiper or informant

Facts

Very good Advice!!!!

Was that wise man a wiseguy by the name of Jimmy Conway in Goodfellas?

Very wise man

Humans suck. Everybody on their own. There's no kumbaya.

Especially Democrats.

Don't remind me. My fellow officers were backstabbing like crazy

@@LeutnantJoker that was the only point of honor in the Air Force in the SNCO ranks. You always wiped off your knife before you stuck it in the next guy's back.

What happened at your last assignment

They are insurance for management

They stand for ( and against) Home Relief

Don’t go to HR with your problems. They will solve it for you, but not always in the way you want.

Don't go to HR for anything but problems with your direct deposit, questions about benefits, and other banal matters. Outside of things like this, in almost all cases, they won't help you anyway. Brian, I really appreciate your content and straightforwardness. I would of liked to have someone like you working in one of the companies that I have been employed with.

You should go to your HR person and propose to them. In front of your boss.

The HR lady at my job is kinky and a walking red flag. I stay clear of her at all costs. She volunteers too much information about her personal life. Then one time she asked my coworker if she was dating anyone. My coworker said that she is married. HR lady just responded "so I guess that's a no for dating" 🤦

​ I don't trust HR, nor direct deposit