I have 5 sons and 2 daughters. I also a daughter and a Nyab. Living in this country and this century is easy to say but hard to do because everyone has a job to go to. The nursing home is there for a reason.

I agree with the daughter in law. I hold the sons responsible for taking care of the father. The sons are the ones who drop the ball.

Zoo zoo tiag li os

nkim yug tiag tiag

Txiv neej hmoob mam siab me tiag tiag.

Lawv aw muab hai lo lm peb cov ntxhai yeej siab muag dua thiab hlub yu niam yu txiv dua cov tub os

Koj txiv es niam zoo kiag li Kuv txiv thiab os mi vivncaus Aw tu22 siab tsaj plaws li os

I'm not sure why Hmong people don't understand that when we're old yeej kawg tsev laus xwb. Taking care of an elderly is not simple. I work as a CNA when I was in high school. Wiping butt is not an easy task. We as people need to understand that.

thaum i yu niam lawv cem yu ma cem tia yog nej tsis ploog lu ce nkim kuv lub zog tu hnub no yu mu muaj ib pab yu mam paub niam txoj kev hlub zoo npaum ca😭😭

It is sad but true…don’t expect anything from your kids, especially the sons nowadays. Love your spouse and spend as much time with him/her. When the time comes, go quietly to nursing home and bother no one and wait for God to take you…😩👍🤠!!!

With so many sons, why are you only having one care for your father? Rotate him around the sons so each can get a little rest from caring. The truth is no one wanted him and pushed him to your youngest brother, who was pressured into it. It's an exhausting job, mentally and physically. Your SIL is right! You should worry about your own in-laws instead of bossing her around. That's why you pay someone to do that job in a nursing home. Hmong funerals are never for the dead! Stop wasting huge amount of money on people who don't even care about the deceased. People come and will qhuas you for that weekend and then they will forget you. It's a huge cost to pay kom tau ntsej muag. Not worth it. If you love your parents, spend that money on them while they are still alive. Create memories and experiences with them. Take them out, visit them often, help them out with the house and take them on vacations.

hlub yug niam yug txiv li cas yug yuav tau li ntawm

Hlub ces hlub thaum tseem muaj txoj sias thiaj muaj nuj nqi tuag lawm txawm yuav ua ntees loj luaj ntuj luaj teb los nej txiv ces ntsuj mas huab xywb mus lawm tub siab nrho g tig ntsiab nej .

Lesson learned for our Hmong men STOP polygamy okay. You can't handle responsibility then STOP. Get over your feel good feel okay like it is not enough in the moment. In old age no one will want you.

Cov muam yeej nyiam nyiam instigate

Nkim lub zog yug tiag 2 👍

What a family! This dad’s funeral ($142k) is a truly celebration and full entertainment just for the living not for the dead.

This is a sad story!! 11 sons and no one can love him? We cannot expect the nyab to care for the father in law. That is where your brothers fail your father as a son! It's truely sad that kids cannot care and love for their parents as their parents cared and love for them.

Twb g hlub niam hlub txiv ce g tha hlub yu cov li os lwm hnub ma nej cov haj yam yuav g hlub nej vim nej lub siab phem g hwm niam hwm txiv ce txhob To nej cov yuav hlub nej nawb mog

Mloog zaj neej neeg no kv txg kv txiv

This is always why I say no point to have lots of kids. It doesn't matter if you have only 1,2,10, or 20 kids. You cannot depend on any of your children to love you when you old or about to die. All of these older parents keeps thinking the "SONS" wiill love them and keep them and care for them but there's no way. All the Daughter-n-laws have the say so, if the son doesn't wear the pants in the house. Now-a-days, is not like back in the days in Thailand & Laos. Older Parents, Please please understand that you need to write out a will and you have every right to live and die with your daughters too. You don't have to wait for your sons only. Don't look up too much to your kids because they cannot and most will not love you like you expect. Such a sad story.

Why this family must make it so complicated to love their elderly father?!!! Karma is not a joke, Children!!!

Yog nej tseeg ce tig nej cov pobntseg lo nploog niam ntsuab teev cov neej neeg e nej thiaj li pau hmoobmeka lub siab lim xyiam txia ntshav

Thanks for sharing your story. Me ntxhais, wish the majority of our children have a big heart, love and caring person like you.

Wow hopefully!

God dang, even if he made his mistakes in life. At least he tried his best to love all his kids equally. If the in laws are bad then I would agreed with all this saying but he was a good dad who made his mistakes and still love his kids and wives. This life is sad if you’re married to someone who doesn’t have a big heart. It takes a big heart to love the elderly and return their love back to them.

It’s easy to be the daughter. Not easy to be the daughter in law. Caring for anyone is not easy. Try caring for you own fil. Your nyab is right. I’m a daughter and a nyab too. I always look at it from both sides. When it’s your turn to wipe your fil’s butt don’t complain

To the person who's story it is... Can't judge.. as you didn't do anything either.. all i heard was excuses on your part.. not everyone can be caregiver... U didn't even take him in.. all u did was complain from the outside

As a parent, don’t wait to get love from your kids. It will break your heart. The day you can’t take care of yourself, be willing to go to a nursing home. If they love you they will show it to you. If they don’t, you will know as well. The less you expect from your kids, the less your heart won’t ache from broken heart 💔

Kuv qhia rau peb tsoom hmoob hai tia hmoob meka lub qe siab phem ce tig lo mloog niam ntsuab civ neej neeg nawb

Kuv mas pab tus yawm txiv no tu siab kawg li muaj me nyuam coob los tib co ua tsi taus niam taus txiv xwb ntxhais los ntshai tsam neej puas tub los yuav sib nrauj zoo tib yam nkaus xwb

I have no pity for the daughter who told this story because she didn’t do anything either. Life is easier looking from the outside, but if you’re the caregiver, it is tough. Have some empathy and don’t judge. Your father is also your father; you could have done more if you didn’t like what your brother and sister-in-law did.

Tsis tim yuav ob tug niam lis os… yug mes nyuam coob dhau lawm yeej hlub tsis tau lis os. Qhov zoo ces txhob yug ib tug mes nyuav lis khwv tau lis cas noj lis ntawv thiaj tsis tshuav leej twg nqis.

Nyiam muaj nyiam tib os sawm dawm yeej yuav tau ib txog kev .... leeg twg hlauv lawm yeej zoo ib yam ... zoo yog thaum tseem ua tauv noj xwb ...

Pojruam, txhob khav ko txiv. Neeg siab coob 2 tug pojniam txiv yog txiv zoo. Koj lis khav koj tus kheej heev, koj phem tib yam li oj txiv. Kav npaum li koj kuj coj koj txiv los nrog koj nyob? Cov ncauj loj li koj, txhob tham tham, coj koj txiv ls hlub kiag thaum pib..

Why these kind of stories R ALWAYS being told by the crazy sisters!!! I’ve heard a couple stories of nyab don’t love parents n they R mostly coming from the sisters’ point of view!!! I wonder if these sisters even care/love their MiL FIL ??? These type of sisters, most of the time, act like they care for their parents but they all talk no show. I’ve seen it. I want to hear the Nyab’s point of view, why these crazy sisters think they R a MiL to their nyab!!??

This is your side of the story. It’s your dad so you will said that your dad is fair. But a person who have two wife’s is never fair. We need to listen to the Niam yaus kids side of the story

Cov tub tsis hlub lawv txiv los lawv yeej yuav taug lawv txiv tus nee taw ib yam nkim lub zog yug os

thaum ntej nplog yeej coj li hmong thiab tab sis tham mus saib los cov ntxhais yog cov hlub tau niam thiab txiv ces lawv thiaj muab hloov opposite lawm xwb .cia siab tias nyaj lub neej g ntev peb cov ntxhais yuav yog cov hlub thiab tuag tau hauv ntxhais tsev .ua neej nyob nyias tsuas hlub tau nyias niam nyias txiv xwb .cov ntxhais los lawv yeej hlub g taus lawv cov inlaw tib yam

Mam npaj mloog koj cov me nus lawv zaj neej neeg rau ntu thaum lawv laus seb lawv lub neej zoo li cas

Lesson learn to ALL the old folks with many wife’s and tons of children. Life is not all about how many wife and kids. The bigger family you have the more load to put your back so only dumb people low life will do that to themselves.

Cov nyab zoo li tus nyab no es yog nws cov nyab cov nus sab tom tsis hlub nws niam nws txiv no nws puas zoo siab maj nws yeej yuav mus qw qw kom lawv hlub nws niam nws txiv thiab na peb ua neeg nyob no yuav tau hlub tej laus thiab es lwm hnub yus cov thiaj li hlub yus thiab nawv tiam tam sim no mas ntuj nyob qis qis kawg li lawm nawv..

Lam hais tias hlub me nyuam ib yam xwb txiv neej feem ntau yeej hlub niam yau cov me nyuam tshaj. Tus poj niam lawv hlub tshaj lawv yeej hlub tus ntawd cov me nyuam dua. Men who marry two wives should not expect the children of the two wives to treat/love them equally. Kav liam os tus vivncaus. Nyias ua nyias ris xwb. Tej laus twb hais tias yus ua li cas rau yus niam yus txiv ces yus yuav tau txais li ntawd ntawm yus cov.

Lawv, cuag li yuav hais lus tsiv tsiv mloog os. Thov lub ntuj zam txim nawb. Cov niag nyab no es niam tais yawm txiv yog hom neeg dab tsi nawj? Cov nyab no phem ua luaj. Puas xav tias nej tej nyab ua li rau nej niam nej txiv es nej puas txaus siab? Kuv xav tias nej tej nyab tsis yuav nej niam nej txiv los nej yeej tsis zoo siab na cas nej ua dab tsi li rau luag niam luag txiv. Nej puas vam nej tej me nyuam hlub nej os? Nej ua phem rau nej niam nej txiv ces nej tej ua tib yam rau nej os.

Cov txivdev zoo li ntawv ces nyuam qhuav haum xwb os

Cas thaum koj txiv tuag lawv ho tsi txhob tha koj txiv es cia coj mu faus xwb mas cas tseem xav tau ntsej muag thiab na lo thaum ua neeg nyob twb tsi hlub ne tuag lawm ua zoo npaum ca lo nw yeej tsi paub lawm nav

Nyias muaj nyias kev npam 11 leeg tub tsis muaj chaws tuag tab sis ho muab los ua ntees khwv nyiaj thiab

11 sons. I don’t believe that your father love them fair

The title say nkim lub zog yug. Referring to you n your siblings (the children)or your dad?? I’m sorry, yeej yog koj txiv yeej mob koj siab tab sis looking from the outside not really feel sorry for your dad. You have 8 brothers n yourself why have a niam yau? Good thing he finally realize at the end.

it's a generation thing why all these kids are like this. I've been seeing it happen more often n more stories like this to uneducated parents. well for our generation that are educated you must prepare for yourself meaning have ur own life ins and own retirement plan. you may end up in old folks home in the end but at least you still have ur own money to be well off so you won't depend on ur kids well at least I'm not.

Lub neej tham txog muaj niam hlob niam yau cas yuav mob hlwb ua luaj...not going to finish the story.

Yuav npam os cov tub nyab no. Don’t matter or no matter what u gonna love ur parents.

Txhob ntshaw tub xab maim no ntxhais hlub yus dua lawm tub ces yug kom t'xhob poob noob xwb

Our new generation do not look forward to our kids taking care of us. But don't do it to your elders because they were raise in a different era. What you do for your parents. Your children will learn the good and the bad. We will get old one day.

Cas peb lis.. peb cov ntxhais tsheej take k peb txiv nas? My 4 brothers lub neeg tsis zoo. They live with their friends but me and my 3 sisters we help eachother take k our dad. My mom divorced my dad so she has her own life. Our dad is old in his 60s sick but he lives with my little sister and her husband. We 4 sister always talk abt saving $ to prepare for his funeral if anything happens to him in the future. Sorry to hear abt your sad story. Like the old saying.. what comes around goes around.

I can't feel sorry for this man bc everything he suffered was self-inflicted. How can your children and wives love you when you forced toxic polygamy on them? You reaped what you sowed. You did wrong all your life so the karma is yours, not your kids. Good that neither wife cared for you. They should've left you yrs earlier but wasted their lives on you. What I don't understand about the sons, however, is why give him such a lavish funeral after he's dead if you can't even care for him for a few months when he was alive? What a waste! Looks like the old man got you children yet again. Should've stood your ground like your mothers and saved yourselves a lot of money with a cheaper 1 day funeral. So sad.

I am so tired of hearing these types of stories. I hope once this generation all dies off we can be the change. Put a will together and get all your arrangements in place. Stop expecting the kids to take on this burden. To the parents who have that "golden child" and wants to leave everything to them, I hope you have it written down because at the end of the day all he will do is shrug his shoulders like this son in the story. To the kids who have 120k+ to do a nice funeral for their parents. Kudos to you. It should be an option and not a mandate from clan leaders. To the sisters who is always complaining about their nyabs and bros. I hope you are nyab 10k on your husband side 👍 We have to change.

It’s hard to show all your children that you love them especially if there’s a lot of them. Your parents love you but can’t afford to give everyone everything equally.

Cov niag txiv uas siab coob cav yuav ntau tus niam ces npaum li no twb tsis tau txaus los maj…. Don’t feel bad for him at all haha 😂

Cov hlub niam hlub txiv tshaj tiam no ces yog ntxhais xwb nawb cov tub tiam no ces quav dev xwb

Pab tu siab kawg😭

Tus viv ncaus aw kuv nrog koj tu siab tshaj plaws li os tam dim no es kuv niag nyab niag nus tam tom coj kuv txiv mus tau 3 week no lawm es twb tsi pub peb mus saib li os peb nug los teb tsi kam qhia lub tsev laus rau peb li mas kuv chim ib yam nkaus koj li thiab os viv ncaus aw

Koj txiv mus ces koj txiv yuav tsis tseg koob hmoov rau nej koj txiv yuav nqa kom tag mus nej yuav tsuas muaj txom nyem thiab pluag mus

Lawv aw. Yog yus cov nus tsis yuav lawm es yuav muab xa mus nyob tsev laus ces yus coj kiag los nrog yus nyob kiag thaum nws yuav tuag mam mus xauj tsev rau nws tuag mas. Cov nyab no tus phem yeej phem kawg nawb. Kuv cov nus yeej tsis yuav kuv niam li ko kuv coj kiag los nrog kuv nyob xwb. Kuv niam mob mob lawm yuav tuag mam mus xauj tsev rau nws tuag. Kuv hais rau nej tias yus niag txiv tsis kam yus coj yus niam yus txiv los nrog yus nyob los yus coj kiag nws yeej ua tsis tau li cas. Koj txiv tseem muaj 2 tug niam es me nyuam thiaj sib sib khib. Peb no ib tug niam xwb kuv niam twb tsis tau chaw nyob ib yam nkaus. Kuv ntseeg tias kuv tau koob hmoov lawm aw. Kuv coj kuv niam los tu tsis pub mus nyob tsev laus.

Txhib tu siab lwm hnub lawv cov mu xa lawv mu tim tsev laus thiab lo ma ib txheej ua rau ib txheej o me niam hluas aw

There's nothing wrong owning a vehicle under $5k. Don't forget all the responsibilities of owning a car (new or old). If you can afford it, get it. if not, buy and drive what u can afford. Learn to appreciate what you have.

You can't blame to all of your brothers.

You can’t expect your nyabs to take care of your dad if you don’t even go take care of him yourself. You have to understand that it’s not easy for them either. It’s not their responsibility, it’s yours and your brother’s. Tsis yog yus cov nyab txiv ces lawv yeej tsis hlub thiab koj cov nus twb tsis hlub tsis hwm koj txiv es koj cov nyab yuav ua cas hlub. Nej cov nus twb tsis yog txiv tsev, yog txiv dev xwb es nej txhob chim rau nej cov nyab nawb. Koj tus txiv yeej hais yog lawm, yog koj tus txiv tsis kam yuav koj txiv ces koj twb tuav tsis tau ne, koj cov nyab tsis kam yuav koj txiv cee koj cov nus dev yeej yuav tsis tau li koj thiab. Koj twb ntshai tsam koj lub neej puas ces koj cov nus los ib yam thiab.

Yug tau ib pab me nyaum siab phem tiag tiag lam loj dawb lam kawm ntawv siab g yog kawm kom ntse yim kawm yim nram pab nej txiv tu siab kawg khawv khawv tu nej loj thaum kawg g muaj tu tus tau nej txiv yog g hlub nej yeej g loj rog luaj li os pab niag tsov tom aws

Listening to this story... we all need to start saving our own money to care for ourselves in our old days. Where we have the money to pay someone to care for us and not depend on our children if we don't need to. I know someone whose mother saved and paid for an in-home care taker in her last few years. Made her life and her children's lives easier.

Ua cas peb cov poj niam yuav siab phem tshaj li tiag2 ne nyob li ntawm kuv kuv twb tau tu kuv txiv yawg lawm kuv tsis nco txaj muag li kuv xav tias u txiv yawg thiaj yog u txiv ho u yawm txiv nws los yeej yog u txiv thiab yog thaum twg tu twg tsis taus lawm u txoj hauj kwm thaum kawg ces yog los tu lawv xwb no puas yog kuv ruam zog lawm es kuv tu kuv txiv yawg npaum li kuv tu txiv tab sis kuv tsis tu siab tshuav kuv ua txoj kev zoo rau nws uas ntej nws tso lub ntiaj teb tseg xwb peb yuav tau hloov siab hlub tej laus thiab mog ib hnub twg u los yuav txawj laus thiab tsam lawv mus lawm ces lawv dim tseem tshuav u xyov u tseem yuav zoo li cas os cov viv ncau aw.. u ua zoo rau u xwb tsis yog ua rau leej twg os mog thaum lawv laus lawm es u tsis xav yuav lawv lawv yeej paub kawg li os ua zoo rau niam rau txiv ces cuag li u ua zoo rau lub ntuj os mog peb cov me nyab aw… 😭

Koj cov nyab thiab koj thiab cov nus lawv tsi txawj laus os lawv yuav nyob li ntawv mu tag ib sim

The moment your dad got two wives… I dont need an explanation if he is a good or bad father. He is ONLY a bad person period.

I bet she cant even take her in laws in too.

Ua loj los thsum ua neej nyob tsis hlub ces yeej tsis tau koob hmoov

Tus me ntxhais aw....yeej paub tias koj yeej hlub2 koj txiv kawg, peb txhua tus nyias yeej hlub2 nyias niam nyias txiv tab sis koj yuav tsum to taub tias peb nyob teb chaws no txoj kev khwv noj txawv thaum ub lawm. Hos hais txog qhov yuav los tuag hauv tsev los yeej tsis zoo li koj cov nus hais thiab nawb mog, es koj los txhob tu2 siab thiab nawb.

Pab nej cov niag nus muag dev txaj muag dhau lawm os. Txawm yuav ua lub ntees loj npaum cas los yeej tsi tau koob moov li os.

Couldn’t even pay attention to this story, so aggravated. Typical narcissist sister in the family who wants everyone else to take responsibility for her father. If you’re smart, this day in age, do NOT have any kids! Woman, go take care of your own in laws and stop trying to wear the pant! The brothers can do whatever they want with your dad!

Kuv tsis tau hnov dua tias yog muaj ib tug neeg tuag hauv tsev lawm es yus lub tsev yeej muag tsis muaj neeg yuav lawm thiab ov. Cas yuav hais tej yam tsis txaus ntseeg li mas. Tam sim no meskas cov neeg mob kho tsis tau lawm lawv yeej coj los tuag hauv tsev xwb laiv. Koj tus nyab ua hom hauj lwm ab tsi hauv hoo maum es nws ho tsis paub txog tej no? Koj cov nyab nus tsab ntse kawg yom.

thaum nyob kav tsij hlub thaum tuag noj bread 🍞 xwb los ok.

Koj txiv siab coob ces pab tsis tau. Cov txiv neej yuav ob peb tug pojniam ces yeej sib2 khib tias txiv hlub pab tov dua pab tom no. Txawm yog kuv los yeej ib yam. Yog leej txiv hlub2 leej niam ces yeej tsis yuav niam yau. Yog koj txawj xav ces koj kavtsij tu xwb mas. Tsis li ces kawg coj mus nyob tsev laus xwb. Tej nyab yeej tu tsis taus txiv yawg.

I've always believed that what you do to your parents, your children will do to you. Either a beautiful or ugly circle of life.

Nyab los phem npaum vauv los phem npaum li os😭

I understand that based on culture and religion the sons are supreme but Hmong people need to change the way they do things. They do not want the sisters involved but yet at the same time can not take care of the parents. Older folks need to realize that America is different from Laos...so they might end up in the nursing home...LOL. We all work and to just let one child take care of the parent is absurd. I can see why the sister in law is so pissed because she has to do all the work and yet there are so many of them. To the sister, you complain about your brother and SIL not taking care of your father and for you to stop bugging your brother because his life is about the break but you are unable to take your father in because if you do, your marriage will also break. Because of that you stepped back. You should at least has some empathy for your brother. This is a very hard situation and it's a lose lose situation for all parties involved. I just hope that one day your siblings kids do not turn around and ask your siblings which of their kids they love more or that get accused of loving one child over the other...LOL....

You couldn't do anything to help your dad too. Your husband won't let you take him in as well, just the same like your sister in law . So Idk why you're complaining? You did say if you take him in then you will be risking your marriage too. So stop making it seem like you're the innocent one here.

Basically none of ya wanted to take care of your dad

I don’t understand the point of the story...

Its to blame the culture "dab quas" that separate the boys from girls. Everyone just go to church n no longer matter they live with the boys or girls. A big lesson to learn not to have 2 wifes n too many kids as well.

moral of this story, plan to live in a nursing home when you age. I know I am.

Being a nyab and the youngest one is never easy. You take care of the in laws there is still a problem because is not good enough for their daughters. You don’t take care of the in laws there is still a problem with their daughter!! Lord why don’t their daughter just toughen up bring their parent to live with them

koj txiv txojkev siab hlob yuav coob leej ntau tus pojniam ces nyuam qhuav ntxim xwb. Hmoob ua neej rov qab lawm, hlub tsis hlub thaum nej txiv tseem nrog nej nyob, thaum nws ib pas twb nqus tsis tuaj lawm no ces ho ua lub ntees loj2 kom tau ntsej muag, hmoob cov ntees mas hmoob vwm lawm xwb cas hmoob tsis rua muag ntsia lub ntiajteb no txojkev pam tuag seb luag ua li cas ?

Tshob dag2 os koj niam tsuas hais tias niaj niam yau phem nkaus zwb los ho nej twb ysi nyiam nej niam yau li ne

The saddest part in the POLYGAMY world! Man should never created this chaos for women to kneel for...and Woman's should respect 🙏 Woman!

Tus viv ncaus Kuv tsis paub koj txiv tab sis mas zoo li kuv txiv ces yeej tuag rau niam yau ob ceg thiab nws pab menyuam xwb. Zoo li niam yau cov thisj yog nws yug his kuv niam cov tsis yog nws yug. Tus txiv uas twb muaj lub siab phem mus yuav tus niam yau ces txais tau nws yeej muaj lub siab phem lawm os.

hmoob meskas aw thov tsum os. tsum qhov niag es pheej ua ntees tuag loj2 es lub rooj tshoob ces ua me2 xwb los tseem ua2 plaub os. funeral should only be a day only. i go vajtswv lawm os because hmoob people tsuas ua noj ua haus los impress people xwb

Yes to the person/sister telling the story: you’re not perfect either…if you’re so perfect why don’t you do something. Also you’re telling the story as if you lived with them experiencing all these horrible things. Be thankful and looks for positive ways to improve relationships instead of pointing fingers. Also love is mutual. If one received it I am sure it would be reciprocal

Sister, your father's love is never equal between his two wives and all the kids. He's a selfish man. Once a man marries a second wife it's because he no longer loves the first wife and her children. He only keep the first wife around for face keeping. He deserves what he gets. I know exactly how it feels to not receive a father's love.

That's very sad, so many sons can not take care your own dad...

I’m sorry to say but this is why Hmong parents shouldn’t praise of having so many sons cause when they get older their son ain’t gonna love n take care of them.....it’s always the daughters that love n care for the parents more even though the daughter are always look down on

👍👍👍