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angela you are such a class act

I discovered your channel fairly recently and this one video really hit home. My husband and I are in our mid 60s and we have so much stuff in our 5 bedroom home that it would be a nightmare for our kids to go through it all when it’s our time to go. I’m still hanging on to my parents’ stuff for over 30 years. I’m just now starting the process of getting rid of things. It will probably take me a year to get it down to a level where it wont be too overwhelming for my kids. I’m finding it difficult to part with things but I just feel I’m running out of time and I need to get this done. I’m turning 65 on Monday and that’s probably why I’m feeling I’m running out of time. Where did all the time go? I love your channel. Your voice is so soothing.

I’ve decided to do what my parents did when they were empty nesters. We’ve purged most of our junk now in our 50’s. The kids won’t have much to deal with when it’s time to “move on” one way or another. It’s called Swedish death cleaning. I know it sounds morbid, but it’s truly a gift for the kids! Less stuff in the house is less to care for and makes it an easier day to day life.

That's me with my parents, and now just my mom. There's a lot of love and memories integrated with the stuff, but in the end, the love is there even though the stuff is gone.

I know this is 3 years ago, but I'm getting to the end of this process now. I did it the other way around. I built mum a little apartment in our garden, then bought her new furniture because the old was so dilapidated. She chose her new armchair and bed I did the rest. I told her to gather the most important things she would need for a month's holiday and we fetched her over. She didn't bring loads of things she needed really. So I went back and forth a few times until I knew she had enough. I made sure she had photographs, wedding album, embroidery kits and equipment and her precious books. I wanted her to leave the darn china cabinet behind but she went on and on about the china so I relented, bought a new cabinet minus woodworm and brought over the best bits. I have then been clear to get rid of everything else in my own time. It's taken a long time but I've done it all myself. We have some offers on the house now. I just have the garage to go. It's been tough on me, having to throw away so much. But it's been really easy on her.

This just made me sad for this person. The families. But this was a beautiful way to help them. Thanks for sharing!

I love how respectful and empathetic you are, Angela. I had one client who's husband had passed away. He had been an amputee, he had only one leg and foot. I asked her about throwing out his old socks since they weren't in pairs. She said no, and I had to back off and realize she just wasn't ready to deal yet. I had to respect her feelings.

Thank you for answering my question. It’s been tough but my mother finally got moved in this past weekend. I have given her a great looking entire floor of my home. She had two homes in two states and an overabundance of possessions. So many bedding sets (one house had room for 9-11 people to sleep!) and eleven cookbooks which again took about an hour as she paged through each one to determine if she wanted to take it. She brought SIX still with her LOL and she mostly doesn’t cook at all anymore. She’s a great painter so she came with her paintings which we will find room on walls for as many as she’d like and looks presentable. But also had additional dozens and dozens of frames and mats for future paintings (she hasn’t painted in about 10-12 years). I also would like to say that at almost 80 YO she always has kept her things immaculate. Her thinking in keeping all these things was she could eventually give them to her kids. I explained to her gently that though we appreciate the wonderful thought we are all in our late 40/50s and have established lives now for many years that include all the cookware, furniture etc that come with living. It has been very emotional for her and I. I’m not ready for this responsibility, I’m sad to say. I was great the way things were prior and feel forced into this new life by guilt pressed from my siblings and their wives. Lot of layers to unwrap. LOL thank you for addressing this topic as from the comments I know I’m not the only one.

Angela, thank you for this video and information. My MIL went into assisted living this week so I started cleaning out her house … linens, bedding, etc. Simple items. I completely broke down crying so hard because I felt like I was violating her life. She has mild dementia and isn’t even asking for any of her stuff but it’s still been hard for me. My husband is hyper organized and has a good plan. We’ll get through it, but it’s so hard. More for me than her 😞

My parents passed away and we had to deal with this situation. Thanks for this.

I lost my Mum last year. This year I cleaned apartment. I had no chance to keep her stuff. I donated what was possible to donate and throw away almost everything. It was hard but needed. I felt horrible but I want to sell a place. But this is me. I know it is hard for others. Thank you for compassionate video.

My husband and I became disabled at 38 and 43 years old. Because of this, we moved into a garage apartment on his parent's property. Obviously we had more stuff from our home that would not fit into this smaller space. We were hesitant to part with a lot of our stuff. Our solution was to put things into storage. This allowed us to go thru and get rid of things at our own pace. It took some time, but eventually everything had been gone thru and given away, sold, or donated.

Yeah, I'm going through this process right now. My dad passed away 7 months ago and I've spent the last few months repairing and emptying our cabin, the home where my Dad spent most of his time, so that Mom and I could put it up for sale. We just finished emptying out the last of it 2 days ago and it transfers to the new owner next week. It is emotional dealing with the memories of Dad. Fortunately, Mom is the one who has to deal with most of his stuff, and the stuff is now at her house, not mine. Thankfully, although Mom loved Dad, she is not very sentimental and has absolutely no problem throwing things out. But she still has certain special items to deal with that are not just thrown away. I'm grateful I inherited a new painting that came from the cabin -- a beautiful keepsake that doesn't take up much space.

You make cleaning as nurturing and honoring as can be. Thank you so much for guiding me to the new light I have never seen. 🙏

Angela, thank you for bringing such compassion, wisdom and common sense to this difficult subject. You are doing such good work!

Very good advice. I have problem with my brothers and sisters not wanting to get rid of my parents' clothing and other items even though my father passed away 10 years ago and my mother 13 years ago. Everything is jam-packed in the home of my mother and father's attic and no one wants to get rid of anything.

I'm going through something similar but with my mother-in-law. She took the dining room and guest room of our house as storage and every time I try to help her minimize her things, we never progress. my brother from texas comes to visit us at christmas. I own a small cleaning business called N.R Cleaning Services here in New Jersey. I really thought I could help her and make her feel comfortable but like you said, it's really hard when she starts to remember who gave her what and doesn't want to throw it away.

I'm teary just from your opening statements about timestamp 1:50. Thank you!

Thanks so much for your compassion and understanding. You shared really good ideas. ❤️

My mom died first and my dad second and then we moved into my childhood home and yes throwing away stuff is hard. I wish I had her cookbooks, afghan stand, her cast iron pan and my favorite big rocking chair and a whole bunch of other stuff and some point they got rid of and back then I guess I wasn't affected or didn't care or wasn't aware. Now that they are gone, I wish I had them. My problem is the 6 curio cabinets that are filled with stuff that meant a lot to her but of course not worth anything. I have one cabinet filled with clowns. But now I am having a hard time deciding what to keep and what not to keep. Kept all furniture because of the quality. So what if everywhere I turn there is something Mahogany. Everything matches. Our furniture was cheap mismatched particle board crap. I feel like I'm hurting my mom's feeling with everything I throw away. It's super hard.

I needed this video so badly. I’m trying to pair down my moms home so I can move my things in. I have been living here for 6 months with only my clothes. She reacts the same way you described in the beginning of the video. My children took my home and with all my things there. They have nowhere to put their own things. So we are stuck in this holding pattern where no one‘s happy.

Great advice!

Thank you Angela Great advise.

An excellent explanation of such an emotional time.

I think it is important to have closure. Just taking people’s things without them saying goodbye is cruel. It’s their life. I took pictures of pictures and of the rooms so they could see them. and called 10 professionals to take watches, jewelry, silverware etc. saying goodbye It was nice. They had money to spend they didn’t feel like they threw or gave valuables away.

Thank you Angela!

Awesome video! If I could give it 10 thumbs up, I would.

Third party is so smart! My Mother had 2 pairs of her gardening shorts from 1981 and she passed in 2009. She had three bath towels and 25 pairs of shoes she couldn’t wear. She hoarded those shoes, they represented her fashionable, beautiful self before she needed medication that made her large. I understood that . I made sure she was cremated in her favourite outfit even if it was split up the back so it fit perfectly. My sister-in-law and I cleaned out the dressers but I had a holiday booked and when I came back she ruthlessly gone through the house. They sold antique tables worth hundreds for 15$. I didn’t want anything but there were many items worth money they sold for nothing. We’re going to see them on Antiques Roadshow.

You are wonderful and inspiring in every video of yours that I watch. I'm fortunate my mom has downsized a lot on her own.

Wonderful advice!

Great advice! Very smart!

how cute Angela brown gives recommendation how to clean and protect yourself I like your videos beautifu

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except for LED ZEPLIN 3!! ALBUMS

Elders on fixed incomes find paying for movies, music, and subscriptions for things they have already wasteful.

Do you have any training courses ?

Magazines and newsapers take FOREVER to haul out! Truly junk!

you are not just removing stuff but their lives, please do not call it junk, as that is taken personal, it hurts them to be so insulting. no one wants to die or spend their last years on earth purging.