Actually I'm Muslim and my parents are so religious but they also listen to Judas priest and mj, I can tell you that music isn't haram only extremists say that and there is no single word is Islam that said that music is haram

How many guitarists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 4, one to install it and 3 to say they could have done it in 5 other positions Bonus joke for the jazzier people: How many upright bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb None, the piano player can do it with their left hand

Why couldn’t the bass player get through the front door? He didn’t know what key it was or when to come in.

How do figure out who the guitarist is at the party? He’ll tell you

What's the difference between a large pizza and a guitarist? A large pizza can actually feed a family.

I'm a drummer and a guitarist and I'm incredibly conflicted. How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one. He holds it and the world revolves around him.

I play drums in most projects. The guitarist I play with was digging this guitar riff I wrote. After he heard me play it he came at me with, “see, drummers CAN be musicians.” He got me. I had no comeback.

How many metalheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2. 1 to screw in the lightbulb and 1 to launch into a 15 minute rant about how lightbulbs were better before they went mainstream and kids these days don't even know what real lightbulbs are.

1:Two jazz guitarists meet in a bar, and one says, Yeah man, I bought your last album, it was awesome! to which the other replies, Oh so that was you! 2: What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless 3:What’s the difference between a Fender and a Gretsch? The Gretsch burns longer.

How do you get your guitar player to stop playing? Put sheet music in front of them.

How many bass players do you need to change a lightbulb? 4 1 to change the lightbulb and 3 to keep the vocalist and guitarists out of the spotlight while it is being changed.

3:00 So in other words, if you are gay, playing guitar will help you to find a partner.

That was a top notch American pie reference, well played

You know you're a bassist when you lock your keys in your car. And spend the next hour getting the drummer out.

Not a drummer, but a good guitarist joke: How do you know its the your lead guitarist at the front door? He's trying to come in at the wrong time and he's got the wrong key

hi im part of the 5% of your viewers

How do you know a man is a very good guitarist? His wife works two jobs

2:56 turns out getting into guitar is just like getting into bodybuilding

Regarding the "is music haram"-question, I'd like to drop a reading tip: Heavy Metal Islam, by Mark LeVine. It's a great read about the struggles of metalheads in the Middle East and northern Africa. Turns out there is a surprisingly vivid music scene in a lot of those countries, despite oppression and prejudice. It also gives in insight to the differences from one country to the next, which is enlightning to us Westerners who tend to think of "the Islamic World" as one and the same. And to answer another question - it's possible that there could be another big movement driven by music, just in another part of the world. One can atleast hope. Anyway, it's a good read for anyone who is interested in culture and what it means to people.

What is the difference between a guitarist and a vacuum cleaner? When you unplug a vacuum it doesn't suck anymore!

How do you get a drummer to leave your house? Pay for the pizza!

Q: How do bassists count through a 7/8 measure? A: One, two, three, four, five, six, se, ven

What do you get if you throw a viola of a cliff? Applause

Q: Why do guitarists leave their cases on the dashboard? A: So they can park in handicap spaces. Seriously, love your videos and it is really inspiring to continue to learn other instruments other than drums and percussion. Keep up the great work, the best original content on KZfaq.

My buddy plays in a math rock band and his dog will harmonize with the slower bits on a few songs. It's kinda and awesome sight to be honest haha

How do you know if a guitarist is at your door? He over complicates the knock

Really liked the way you put that last question. I’m with you were I think it’ll be around, but not in the mainstream anymore. The only genres that seem to strive on the guitar solo to me anymore are blues, rock and country.

How do you get two piccolo players to stay in tune? Shoot one of them. (Marching band/concert band joke)

Love your vids man 🤘🤘🤘 keep em’ coming!!

2:05 Dogs hate metal. When I start playing guitar in my backyard, every dog within 50m start howling.

A bass player is something between a drummer and a musician

Is mayonnaise an instrument?

Best drummer comeback joke I've ever heard: What's the difference between a drummer and a Proctologist? A Proctologist only has to deal with 1 asshole at a time.

You know how to hide from a mob of angry bass players? Hide behind an unlocked glass door.

Excellent piece

dude you're awesome. bless your heart

To be honest i feel like actual guitar playing and organic sounds in general are making a comeback and becoming more and more trendy in for example electronic dance music, especially in mainstream EDM. For example many of last year's EDM hits had memorable guitar lines in them, for example Without You by Avicii and More Than You Know by Axwell^Ingrosso. I think guitar is still very present in todays mainstream music, just in a different way than in the last century. I wanna hear people's opinions about this!

Bold honest answer towards the end there, I'm impressed well done

My dog seems to enjoy metal and rock that involves lots of clean vocals, natural harmonics and tapping. Stuff like Bullet For My Valentine, Rise Against and Shrezzers come to mind.

There are also Christian sects which forbid musical instruments. A cappella only! Enjoyed the video!

Whenever I play my acoustic, anywhere in the house, my dog will find me and lay right next to me. I live in a 3 story house and he can always find the exact room I’m in. Only with an acoustic though

There is no greater love than the love for music.

pretty fun video, nice job

Q: How do you get a metal guitarist to play quieter? A: Put a chart in front of him. Q: What is the definition of a flat 2nd? A: Two fretless bassplayers playing together.

Are guitars vegan?

Great videos! I’m just starting to learn to play the guitar and you really cut through the bullshit and give your point of view take it or leave it. Keep it up!

What do you call a guitarist who is always 20 bpm slower than the rest of the band? A great rythmist

SammyG: playing guitar has only made other men impressed with me Me(a straight male): *drawing fan fiction on Sammy and his guitars*

I'm trying to get into it to both boost my confidence and just because I want to broaden my musical horizons (the only other instrument I've played is the alto saxophone and I can sing well).

“Because milkman is a bastard man” was EXACTLY what I was hoping you’d say. These are the kind of references I subscribe to you for. Well, that, and the dope music content.

What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless

"Because Guitar thinks that Milkman has stolen gold to which he, Guitar, is entitled"

What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend ?? HOMELESS lol Your videos are awesome bro enjoy your content lol :)

-Why do guitarists always knock? -Cause they don't know when to come in. Perfect pitch is being able to throw your guitar in the trash without hitting the rim.

Members of a band 1. Singer: thinks they are the best member, pretentious, doesn’t need lessons because he puts his soul into it so his voice can be bad, singing in key what’s that? if you tell him to take lessons he’ll insult you and go cry into his 100$ bills 2. Lead guitarist: thinks they are the best and most important members of the band, thinks he gets all the girls, tuning what’s that?, his amp is at 10 all the time just like his gain, thought guitar would get him girls but it didn’t. 3. Bassist: duh how do change string duh, where da key you told me we was in key but not me, where does me start playing? 4. Drummer: plays everything 20-40bpm faster because he can’t count, thinks he can keep rhythm but doesn’t know what the word means, doctors found out that his head was 60% skull 10% empty and 30% brain, dropped out of kindergarten at age 18, drools while playing drums. 5. Rhythm guitarist: the only one who can keep time, wishes he could play like the lead but only learned power chords and simple bends and slides, “yeah man if I like took lessons I’d be the lead guitarist but I don’t want to take that away from our actual lead because I’d be so good and they’d loose their job” in reality they’re just too stingy and lazy to take lessons, his defense is either that above or that “at least he is in time and can keep rhythm”.

Do dogs like music? Well, I keep my window opened in the summer and while I'm playing my guitar my dog always sleeps underneath the window lol

My dog loved it when I played guitar or piano. She would come hang out with me no matter what she was doing.

Imaging your instrument breaking after beating the shit out of it This post was made by percussion gang

While I don't know about dogs, I do know that monkeys and apes have shown some musical inclinations. Chimpanzees especially. Jane Goodall has talked about a sort of song that the Chimps she studied would sing before they went to sleep. Charlotte Uhlenbroek has described Chimps "drumming", not in the same league as Ringo or Keith Moon or Peter Criss or Phil Collins or... but they would tap one foot while drumming on their laps, keeping pretty good time. I've not seen video evidence but she is a pretty credible source.

Great video, Sensei. I believe animals do love music. The best bands that cover this are T Rex, Three Dog Night, The Animals, Stray Cats, Howling Wolf, The Monkeys, Flock of Seagulls and The Eagles...Or relating to specific songs, you could play Black Dog, Dogs of War, Year of the Cat, Cat Scratch Fever, Werewolves of London & The Walrus...

What do you call a person who hangs out with musicians? A drummer.

"Music isn't getting worse" As time progresses, the amount of original standards to be produced has been going down. Objectively, the progression of music is slowing. Music is getting worse.

Thought the purple previously viewed questions could be jokes. They are not but I'm curious now, did you get a moped ? Anyway, great vid as always !

The Sasha baron cohen bit had me dying

Q: How do you get your guitarist to turn down? A: Put a chart in front of him. Q: How do you kill your singer? A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool. Q: How do you know your singer was the last guy in the bathroom? A: The mirror's still warm.

The drummer joke took me off guard lmao

Hahaha you made a reference at 7:00 and now it's stuck in my head.

6:40 I got your reference to it’s always sunny

American Pie reference was masterful. Cheers Sensei

How does a guitarist change a light-bulb, they wait for the world to revolve around them

Hey please start a series which can teach an absolute beginner to how to listen to jazz and yes how to play will be cherry on cake 😁

My dog once sang along to my mum playing the piano. Perfectly in tune hummed along for a bar or two till we all stopped silent and looked at her.

How do you make a guitarist turn down Put sheet music in front of them.

5 musicians walk into a bar; a drummer, a vocalist, a pianist, a lead guitar player, and a rhythm guitar player. Then, there’s the bassist.

4:00 download youtube? You want the whole site or just all the videos?

lol some deep questions on here!!!

As far as reading music, that depends on whether we are talking tablature or the traditional staff. I wouldn't be surprised if many purists don't consider using tablature true "reading" but for all practical purposes it works just fine. It's also a fast way to find your positioning. I read where when Steve Via was with Frank Zappa he would challenge members of the audience to throw sheet music on stage that he presumably never saw before and could be quite intricate. He would then place the sheet on a music stand on stage and play through the composition note for note, (although if original music only the composer who tossed it on stage would know for sure just how accurate if in fact his notation skills were impeccable). I guess this was sort of a show off move not out of character for Steve Via though he did and still does have many moves deserving of being showed off-Zappa considered him a virtuoso player, and he only got better through the years (except for that Crossroads lick he just couldn't seem to master). Needless to say, he was surely one exception when it comes to guitar players not being able to read music.

Thank God for music!

Hey I would love a tutorial on how to play bass in a 3 piece band. Filling a bigger sonic space and what not.

I love the sunny line he did in there

Hello, I am from Bangladesh. I have been playing guitar and performing from 1986. I play Heavy Metal. I studied in Minnesota in Marketing major from 1991-1996. And I was always playing during those days. I came back to Bangladesh in 1996 and we are still playing. And Heavy Metal. I am a Muslim too. We have 170 million people in Bangladesh and Hard Rock and Metal rules the Bangladesh Band Music scene which has been extremely popular form of entertainment since 1991. We play in front 50,000 plus people almost every month. Concerts are very popular. And after Millennium, rock metal bands dominated the music industry. We are a proud developing nation. And our music is in our Mother language, Bengali. We grew up covering Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Metallica, Megadeth, Pantera, Black Sabbath, Malmsteen, Dream Theater to Beatles, CSNY, Eagles, Simon and Garfunkel to Al di Meola and also Eastern Classical (a little bit, very difficult music , still trying). The people of Bangladesh have always been and they still are fond of music. . The Indian Subcontinental music is old and totally different from Western Classical music. It is rich and passed through generations. In Bangladesh, traditional Classical music has always been popular. In a Muslim majority country, Heavy Music is still popular. And we don't mix religion with music. There are lot of misconceptions about Muslims. The world just don't know that Bangladesh have a rich history of Rock and Metal bands. And we have 100 million listeners. And there are plenty of uploads of Bangladeshi Metal bands at KZfaq. Search, Warfaze, Aurthohin, Artcell, Cryptic Fate.... Music is the only international language. And God bless us all. Cheeerz

5:09 why does the cursor move on its own without your hand beeing near the touch pad?! is your computer possessed?

Not a guitarist nor am I even interested in the instrument, but I found this video very interesting and hilarious! 😄

I believe the question "why does guitar want to kill milkmen" might in reference to the band The Dead Milkmen, but I could be wrong

Watch me vibing with my dog listening ti santana

The only question that bothers me is: How does samuraiguitarist maintain this epic clear, smooth, facial skin?!?

Could you do a video on your favourite musician's jokes?

One fascinating thing about dogs and recorded music, it sounds lo-fi to them. We make music formats for the frequency spectrum we can hear. Dogs can hear on a different frequency spectrum than us, and thus, recorded music will sound weird to them, as a lot of the frequencies they can hear have been cut out by compression.

What do you call a person who hangs out with musicians? BASS PLAYER

On the subject of dogs and music I once had a female Pitbull that liked Iron Maiden so I named her Maiden 🤘🏻

I'm a drummer and the fact that I can't come up with a good guitarist joke kinda proves your point.....and frustrates me greatly.

Birds can understand rhythm. They did a test and found that many types of parrots will actively try to identify the beat of the song when dancing to it (they are only about 30% accurate though)

It’s like the Wayne’s world quote”We love Led Zeppelin but we still have the bee Jees for the crazy people

The fretboard is away from you, unlike on say a violin where it's in your line of sight.

My Mennonite cousins believe music is forbidden, except vocal music, and it’s so weird. I can’t imagine a world without instrumental music or instruments.

My dog loves Some metal genres but loves it when i play some good ol blues

Very interesting...

Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry

Sightreading is especially hard for guitarists for the reason you stated comparing guitar to piano. On piano, middle c is only in one spot, on guitar there's a few places for middle c and also you have to interpret the fingerings or chords and it's just alot more difficult.

I have heard from a few sources that dogs don't understand music but cats do, I remember something about a study with MRI that showed cat brains lighting up in the same areas listening to music as human brains do, but I don't remember any other specifics. And in any case I'd imagine this as much an oversimplification as saying dogs can't see colour -- just 'cause, in my experience, most of the things people say about animals are. As far as I recall this mostly came from my university textbooks way back in the early 2010's, so I don't know how easy it would be to find links to the data. I could check them if I had them on hand -- I have a good idea which ones it might have come from, but unfortunately I think they're still back at my parents' place. I do remember that one of the members of Skinny Puppy released a solo album designed for cats based on actual data about music cats like, so one must assume that he was able to find something :)