‘Neurological injury’ is what I’m gonna use to describe this. I’ve never been able to describe what the hell is going on. I’ve used the words ‘fried brain’ before but know I can tell people what it is. Keep pushing through. Float🌸Cope💐Distract🌻Reconstruct Thoughts🌷do anything and everything to push back. Fight Like Hell!!!💪💪💪

I'm three years off of Effexor 75mg, after 15 years of being on it. I decided (against all Doctor's orders) to slowly wean off them by opening my capsule and weighing the granules. It took me one full year to gradually reduce my dosage to zero. Out of the three years, every year is better than the previous year. Even though I'm not on them anymore, Effexor is still a huge part of my life, and I wish everyone a safe journey.

Took me 9 months to taper off 1 mg Ativan. Was on it for 4 years after breast cancer diagnosis 4 mg down to zero, took me 4 years dry cutting. Was off 1 year until I reacted to an allergy medication while driving. My heart rate was pounding so hard until I pulled over in a safe location. I ended up back on Ativan, taking 2 mg per day for the next 6 years. I was in constant interdose withdrawal. I ended up hitting a wall where the drug no longer worked. I immediately started my water taper. I have been off drug since 2018, and I am just starting to feel better. I just started to drive in my neighborhood. The fear of stop lights and not being able to escape is my lingering fear. I prayed, read books, and watched many youtube videos. I had so many symptoms, but I am thankful for each day. I never had anxiety in my life until this drug.

I cold turkeyd klonopin and a antidepressant. I suffered hell on earth for 18 months and thing got much better around 24 months. Your 1 year away from a new life my freind. You’ll be healed by 24 months off good luck bro

I’m 18 months off from my adverse reaction to these drugs & still going through it. You’re not alone. Congratulations on being one year off 🎉 keep fighting! We got this 😊

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. You’re a strong mother fu€%er, Cole. Really appreciate the vulnerability and sharing.

I am almost 3 years into SSRI injury and slowly turning a corner. I feel for you. You are not crazy, you are definitely the strongest person. You can absolutely be so proud of you! Sending you lots of healing energy! You will heal! Keep going!

I can relate to what you say, I am 2 and a half years off escitalopram after 5 years of use. You are so brave and a true inspiration. Things get better. We are all in this together. Cheers from Greece. Thank you.

I have never met you but very proud of you as I am of myself and all of us who go through this. I have followed your story and agree with everything you say, I feel it too but stay strong, it should never have happened to any of us, it is criminal. Your videos are inspirational, you say you are not ready to help people but you already are with these videos. You give us the support to know we are not alone and we will all get there. Thank you. Love and strength to us all in the community xx

Well done bro you’re doing so well. I’m 5.5 years clean but suffered many years of protracted acute withdrawal. It was the first 2-3 years of hell on earth and still have some time to go 5.5 years later. Every year I got better and my huge list of symptoms slowly got less and less. So so proud of you mate keep going and be good to yourself. Love and peace my friend.❤🙏🏻🇦🇺

I have a similar journey and now I am off for 15 months. I still feel the damages as I write this and I regret a lot of things. Thank you for doing this and you are doing your best, stay strong. // Christian - from Sweden

I feel so bad hearing these stories. I’ve been on Cymbalta for years then changed to Lexapro NEVER realizing that these were drugs I needed to be afraid of!! I also take oxycodone 10mg, which is far less than I used to take but I thought I would have no problem getting off antidepressants because I’m not depressed! Now I’m a lot fearful of this!! I got off all of my pain meds 10 years ago including Fentanyl patches. I’ve seen several videos of people trying to stay off their ssri’s. I know what it feels like to be super sensitive to things going on in my body. I have had a brain aneurism, twice. I have low tolerance to pain and high tolerance to pain medication. My heart goes out to all of you. I know the struggle.🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️

I thought it was just me! thank you so much. I can imagine how hard this was.

I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. It's a terrible trap to fall into - one that you had no way of knowing was there. Thank you for fighting through the pain to raise awareness. I wish you good healing.

You have every right to be proud of yourself Cole. Well said. You're as brave and tough as they come. In a few more years these symptoms will start to lighten and you will have a beautiful life to enjoy and cherish. Sending love and hugs from England.

Thank you so much for this... this is more consolation than you could know. And the little tid-bits of positivity... that's what keeps me alive; acknowledging that things are 5% better... that's so important for me day to day. I see how hard that was for you to acknowledge because it is still a daily, almost constant battle... not even yet considering the "normal" stressors of life. And thanks for the new verbiage - akathisia, traumatic chemical brain injury. These are helpful for more personal research.

Thank you for the feedback both positive and negative, anyone who listens to you will understand what you have been through. Your videos have really helped me feel less alone on this horrible journey. Sending Best wishes for a healthier new year and looking forward to your next video.

Hello pal.. I’m 5 years off since a ct that was compounded by recreational drug use at the same time. It’ll be my anniversary in February. I can still be ill but am so, so much better than the first 3 years. I had a setback at just short of 4 years which took another year to improve from but am a lot better at the moment. I could definitely relate to your obvious discomfort and neurological difficulties present in your early videos but want to encourage that some of those difficulties have abated significantly for me atm. My brain still struggles with stimulating surroundings and circumstances but I can now enjoy activities and the company of family and close friends which is a serious relief and pleasure. I was severely injured but can see proof of progress and healing as time passes.

Hey, going through a very similar injury from taking Finasteride thank you for having the strength and courage to speak out, just know you’re not alone in this hell..

You’re a true inspiration. A warrior. Thank you for taking the time to post your updates. You and I are not alone despite the experience being so lonely. I know you’re going through something hard right now but keep going. i’m sure you and I will find our peace and healing soon.

6 years off benzos. Im still not the same person I was before using them. In HELL. I hope one day I make a full recovery.

Thank you for continuing to share your journey Cole. Thank you for being real and honest. Very pleased for you to have made it a year drug free and to have seen some small improvements/healing. As time goes on, it will keep getting better for you. I know you will go on to help so many others, but only when you are ready and are in better position yourself. Keep looking after yourself, you are doing so incredibly well. You are an inspiration and give hope to so many ❤

Thanks from Calif.

I am very proud of you. 'Nurture strength of Spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune'.❤

I’m right here with you brother. Don’t need to name it all. I feel your labored breathing in just speaking. I have no idea if I’ll be ok. I’m at 18 months and I’m as bad as ever. Just complete mental internal and physical torture. Terror. I have a 5 year old son which is the reason I keep going. I see you. Keep going.

I'm 3 year's off. Your story is so similar to mine. You will make it. The strength is in you. We'll all make it. I took benzos and ADs. The withdrawal effects were the same.

Keep up the good work man. You will heal my friend with time

Keep posting!! I have been on antidepressants for 25 years. I am almost accepted the fact that I may not ever be able to ever be able to taper off. I was on Zoloft for 20 and had a nervous breakdown. My doctor switched me to effexor. I now suffer panic disorder and had to go on benzos. I'm going to start tapering off in 3 months.i love the fact that you said maybe all come together. I'm all in and I have only watched this video for the first time and subscribed.You aren't a victim .. You friend are a victor! You give hope strength trust and love.Those are the 4 power words!

One good thing - you are keenly aware of what’s going on now, that was likely not the case while medicated/subdued. Please keep the faith in yourself, I think you are a badass for working through the difficulties….

so much love man - have you been thinking about making any art? even just sitting on your porch there and painting the plants - your reality is so unique and art could be a way to bring meaning to your reality. you could look at surreal art/film as it has aspects of derealisation that may interest you - making art could be a way to let your intuition do what it wants to do, if that makes sense. once again much love bro❤

3 years off benzos. After 14 years on Ativan. I got clean in rehab 23 days. The first two weeks were the worst. Pure hell. I'm still damaged but I move on one day at a time. I'm sorry you had to deal with your injury. I have depersonalization too. It sucks. My neurologist said I may never fully heal from this. I'll still fight like hell anyway. Thank you for your story.

Your story will hopefully help someone else. I haven’t tried getting off of my Lexapro but I do know what it’s like to get off a series of pain meds. My prayers are with all of you. I was completely unaware.🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️

Just found your channel and I just wanted to say thank you. Very similar situation to mine, 10 years on Prozac, cold turkey and reinstated after 2 months just to cold turkey again after 3 months back on and been off for 12 months now. I admire anyone who has pushed through this and lives to tell their story. It is hell on earth and people like you are the ones that keep me going. Please keep making videos

Im proud of you. Keep up the work. You are worth it.

Dam Effexor is rough! I am also an Aussie and was briefly on it for 14 days had to stop due to dialled pupils and the withdrawal was hell. After only being on the drug for 14 days my body was physically dependent. I cannot even image what it would be like coming off it after years. I dodged a bullet and decided I would rather be depressed then go on an antidepressant. These medications are no joke and Drs hand them out without explaining the possible damage that can be caused. You are so inspiring thank you so much for sharing your story. You are so strong in Australia our mental health system is not great ether so it must have been a nightmare trying to get Drs to understand your pain and help you.

Hi Cole, l really appreciate your videos and l identified alot with the experiences you've had with these drugs. I have been through venlaflaxine withdrawal also and lve also had to reinstate the drug . Over the years lve learned from experience how my nervous system reacts when withdrawing the drug, its been very much trial and error. One thing l released from going cold turkey is that your nervous system can't adapt and thats why you get stuck with protracted withdrawal symptoms. So l guess you had no chioce but to reinstate the drug otherwise the symptoms wouldn't go away. When you drop doses over a period of time your nervous system adapts and eventually the symptoms fadeaway. Any way Cole l really am so glad that you made these videos of what you've experienced because l feel like l have suffered in silence over the years .Nobody understands the pain and suffering we go through not being able to function. Then we are gaslit by the medical professionals .They wash their hads of us and we're shunned by the very people we trusted to help us! Im just so angry about the time lve lost but l hope one day there will be recognition of the harm these drugs do. All the best Cole!

Thankyou for sharing your story . You give me hope to being free of these drugs. Stay strong Cole ❤

Agree with all coming together Any drug that changes the brain chemistry can cause harm

Well done. You persevered. Hope you continue to heal x

Proud of you bro!

I’m so scared. I wish you could keep posting and sharing this. So many people don’t know so it’s so difficult to discuss with others.

You are a friend for sharing this. Strength to you mate

Thank you for continuing doing these videos 😊

As always man you are a beast

I’m proud of you bro ❤️🙏

You will heal🙏🏼🕊

Lots of love and many blessings to you for your recovery. Jesus loves you, and we love each other in His love.

Im tapering off Luvox from 100 to 50 and I already feel aweful. Im sorry for what your going through brother. God Bless you and I hope he heals you soon...

Hi Cole thank you for what you’re sharing. I understand everything you’ve had to endure. Since you are a trainer and you want to help people in this have you thought about making training videos the best you can? Because even though you feel like you can’t do things very well right now that could help you see your progress and help other people progress because the more you do it the more you expose yourself the better you get at this you’re so strong. You could have like a little Recovery video or maybe even do a discord like some of the coaches do. I do understand how hard it is though to even try to get that stuff put together. I have had hard time with even getting on a computer because of Akathesia I also have to relearn computer stuff. Don’t wait till you are healed to help others. Your training videos don’t even have to be anything special just show a recording of maybe a day you’re trying to work out and you could even voice over it and people could follow you. I’m 2 years out ctd off lots of psych meds benZos antipsychotics antidepressants it’s sad I lost everything. I totally agree no going back on just gotta make it through. Every word you speak is truth love you too Cole ❤

Just found your story. I'm so proud of you too. I'm in the thick of it now with akathisia going on a year now. I pray I'll see the other side of this 🙏

Its important to practice radical acceptance to detach from the pain and shift inch by inch towards manifesting healing in the mind body and soul. I dont know about your spiritual life but you have to allow the creator to restore you. The drugs cant change who you are deep down in your soul. Under all the pain and suffering the true you is still there. Im 3 years off cold turkey escitalopram 20 mg i also reinstated multiple times once at 3 months 6 months then another at 8 months cold turkeying reinstatement each time I also took klonopin trazadone ativan and gabapentin in between. I actually lost my mind along the way but i've gotten a lot of it back thanks to the creator restoring me.

Proud of you bro! At least you know that you’re not taking that poison any longer and will never have to take it ever again. So happy your akathisia has gone! One day at a time❤️

I found the symptom you mentioned about people walking toward you interesting. I have visual depth of field issues. And light sensitivity - especially yellows/oranges/reds. And can't read like I did pre-injury. It is as if the reading part in my brain broke. Absolutely disabling. Which meds did you come off from? I agree that all psychiatric drugs are damaging and we should not divide along psych drug catogories. We should refer to it as PIND - psychotropic-induced neurological disorder.

Thank you...that's all..❤

HERO!!!❤

I've been on more or less since 2001. Not sure I'll ever heal or get off. It's beyond depressing.

Thanks bro!!!!

Im nearly 4 years out, I fast tapered the drug in 2020. Then I reinstated multiple times, went into a rehab facility got CTd in there and then was reinstated again. Im about 3 years out from my last dose. Feeling better, but made alot of terrible choices over the years, from simply being so ill.

Very good video. Thank you for the term TCBI. I wish you well and am proud of you too! Don't limit yourself to 5 years though k? We cannot determine how long we're gonna be in this. I know it's a hell way to live but what is the alternative? More drugs or death. I was 20 years on lots of drugs, including a/d's and benzo's plus more, now coming up to 15 years off and still everyday is a survival test. I'm a senior now, alone, in pain, damaged and neglected. I keep going though and making the best of it because I have to, even without the support I need. I want to mention that being real is way more important than being positive so you are dead right about expressing the truth of your experience. I mean how can prettying up our language help anything? That's just crazy making bs. Also thank you for trying to unite people that are drug injured. That shows your wisdom and compassion. The infighting is destructive nonsense. I had to walk away long ago because the protracted like myself were continually shamed as though we're doing something wrong by the very people who are the supposed "experts" in this. How cruel that the very community we turn to for support, then turn against us like bullies. I still cannot believe I survived those first few years. I do believe we are carried by something bigger than ourselves that gives us the Grace, strength and courage to endure the long suffering life we've found ourselves in. Bless you for being brave enough to make a video. You did a very good job of relaying what it's like. Hugs.

I have been in hell for 7 years and before i was like another 9 years of hell on drugs. I dont know who i am. I am partialy disabled with neuropathy that wont go away. Plus still other problems. Trauma is very difficult. He is telling the truth about everything what he said in video.

It’s me. It’s me too. From Newcastle Australia. No one understands this

Thanks for the update, it's good to hear you say you are seeing improvements and still fighting. When u say u suffered mental aka, what is it like for you? I have severe intrusive horrific thoughts, don't know if this is the same, i guess its different for everybody. Do u suffer from insomnia? At my worst I went two months with not a second of sleep from the severe aka. Sorry for all the questions, i'm in support groups but its discourging bc i seem to be one of worst cases or the worst cases have left this life or just leave the groups out of despair.

Keep it up man, you’re doing great. No more akathisia is huge. I’m 2 weeks off a terrible experience trying pristiq, switching to lexapro, switching to zoloft, over the course of 2 months. Poison. Dealing with insomnia. What’s your diet like? Can you tolerate supplements?

I see you. 25 years in. I see you. I just want to hold you and say I understand the pain and the devastation

Was on SSRI for 20 years and benzo and anti psychotic for 2 years. Then went off and on a couple of times now I’m on a low dose 5 mg SSRI, sometimes thinking of increasing... headaches and head pressure and no joy..or feelings..My derealisation getting better, also feeling of terror better.. we will heal..that’s what Jesus died for on the cross, believe that you receive your healing already. God bless you, if you would like to chat let me know.

I am really proud of you, and you are strong enough to share your feelings after one year off. Have you ever been on benzos? and whu did you cold turkey from antidepressants? Were you feeling adverse effects on them? I am now almost 5 months off xanax, but having horrible symptoms, struggling every single day. Some symptoms fades but some other new more intense ones comes. And I am so scared that why My symptoms are changing every day? We can only hope that things will improve with time.

16 months since 8 days of ritalin and I'm still severely negatively affected. Trying to remember my nervous system's equillibrium helps, even though it's hard - essentially remember who I was. I have nerve pain around my forehead and face when I experience stimuli/try to think, as well as sifting and cracks and pops inside my head. Hearing is a little off too. Sexual dysfunction/ physical changes still. So I believe you. Why can't you train?

Are you doing anything for healing? Do you have memory issues? Hope you heal I had an adverse reaction to Baclofen after 2 weeks of usage

So proud of you. What happened when you took your last dose? Did all hell break loose or was it no different than the hell of tapering?

Thanks so much. My symptoms are very similar. How did your akathisia get better? Was it up and down? I’m 33 months out. 69 years old woman. It’s been hell O. Hang on. ❤

Much love too you ❤ ps you are so handsome 😍

I just watched your videos, and related so much to myself. Did your dpdr fade away? How long you are off of meds now? I am 3 months off Alprazolam, and feeling horrible disconnection from myself and surroundings. It's not like physical dpdr, means I can see clearly, my mind knows where I am, I know and remember every person, but a feeling of disconnection is making me crazy. I don't feel grounded. Even the thought of unreality makes me extreme nervous and dizzi. I am just passing days in a hope that one day I will heal with time. Did the things improve for you with time?

It has been long you posted an update video. How are you doing now? Is there any improvement? I am now almost 7 months off xanax, but still struggling. Very bad head symptoms, dpdr , so much confusion about myself and my life. I ask this question so many times in a day to myself, is that me? Is this my life, ( people and surroundings and my routine) I can't connect myself. My head is foggy and heavy. We all can wish each other to heal as time passes. Sending you love.

I am allergic to psyche meds. Every single one, made me almost instantly suicidal.

Been like this 3 years after stopping sertraline. Was on it over 20 years. My nervous system is shot to pieces. Chronic insomnia. I’m never ever tired. Go days without sleep. Tinnitus, nerve pain all over my body. Legs constantly vibrate. You can see the nerves constantly twitching. My brain feels completely fried. No short term memory. Can’t process information. It’s torture every single day. 😔 good luck everyone

I'm about to try DNRS. Trying to reprogramming the brain

Mate, you’ll get better! Have you tried a prolonged water fast?

Hi, I am watching your videos. You are a strong person, psych meds withdrawal is the hardest thing on this planet for mankind. I am also struggling with benzo withdrawal, it has been almost 5 months since I quit them, after tapering for 5 months, but the entire taper and during use also, I was getting horrible symptoms. I used to think that when I come off, things will improve, but now I am suffering so badly, losing all hopes to heal. Each day is hell, symptoms are always changing. Sometimes I feel my brain and mind are being detached from body, this gives me extreme anxiety, an intense dpdr type feeling. Do you ever feel this way? Is it withdrawal? I am scared. Are you functional? I do routine house hold work, but when I am occupied with work, I don't feel the symptoms, but as I am free or go to sleep, all sorts of weird feelings, sensations start, anxiety increases. I am losing confidence in myself and my mind. How do you pull yourself with all these symptoms, especially mental ones?

Hey mate! You’re doing great. I’m going through same process. Would love to get in contact with you. I’m in Sydney, have quit my job and free to travel . What state are you?

Hi Cole, hope you're well and improving day by day! I just wanted to ask you what your thoughts are on longer holds we'll saywhen a person gets down to a low dose.Do you think it increases their chances of getting off the drug completely without fewer symptoms?

Have you gotten your full bloodwork checking all your vitamins and all of your hormone levels cortisol thyroid testosterone etc? During withdrawals a lot of tines your hormones go out of balance which causes symptoms in itself. I know my cortisol was through the roof during the peak of my withdrawals my adrenals werent functioning from adrenal fatigue my testosterone plummeted and a few different hormones also.

Neurological injury is so horrific. I am so so scared I will never heal my CNS. The severe panic attacks I get, I even name symptoms I get or feelings. Its so inhumane. I get a severe feeling that I am incompatible with life. It's like a deep knowing. I don't know if anyone gets this. Sleep disturbances to the max. I also get extra sensitive about others suffering specifically animals and it all feels so over the top unbearable.

may sound odd, but try bitter chocolate (with 90-95 percent cacao). It did mirracles to me.

Do you experience fear feelings with nervousness, no confidence over your mind? It has been 4 months since I stopped xanax, but feel stuffed type confused heavy head, blocked mind, a statue type feeling, not connecting to anything or anyone. The fear feeling is most disturbing.

Have you ever seen that diet , or type of food on a particular day increases the symptoms? I am now 6 months benzo free, but experiencing very strange symptoms some days. Like mental nausea, heavy and floating feeling in mind ( not heavy head). Can a heavy meal cause these types of symptoms. ?

Ive been on cilift for bout ten years. Citalapram before that and prozak before that. Total 25 years about. Do everyone experience these terrible effects when the stop taking the meds? Ive only recently come across videos like this and obviously they scare the hell out of me. Could as many people as possible please respond with their opinions.

What about emotions? Mine were numb both on zoloft and now since i'm off. Afraid they will never come back after a long time of use. Does it get better?

When you had cold turkeyed, do you think it would be better if you insisted and did not reinstate? Or would it have much worse consequences?

Play Bee Gees, stayin alive promo 12version in the morning. its on U tube.

Hi, 1. Were you're hamstrings also stiff? Were you able to do some running, if not, why? Did your legs give up on you? Sorry my english. But my brain is f...d. 2. In your older vids. Are you talking about insomnia in depth. The ones I watched insomnia wasn't a topic. I have a difficult mind, so I would appreciate,if you could tell me if you have video covering insomnia. Thanks.

I am 9 months off benzos now. After every few days, my symptoms keep on changing, sometimes intense new symptoms come, and sometimes old ones that had gone, come back. Even now when I was thinking that I am getting better, new horrible intense symptoms have come and this is so scary and frustrating. Is it same pattern for you also? I doubt that I am getting better or worse with time. I was on low dose of xanax and for 18 months only, but I feel so damaged and out of my mind. It' very difficult to keep going with all the frightening symptoms. Fear , dpdr is so scary.

My symptoms keep on changing, now at 8.5 months off benzos, new horrible mental symptoms come and they are so disturbing that I almost feel out of my mind, all type of weird thoughts, confusion about myself and reality of my life and surroundings, including my family members. I am really scared and doubt about healing. Is this common to experience new intense symptoms at this far?

Could you tell me if your sternum/ diaphragm is painful and is this a type of akathesia? Suffering daily😢

Hi mate im curious if you devoloped any histamine issues. Like allergies to certain foods and smells previously never had... This seems very common on the benzo community. But havent researched ssri groups on this. Some sort of histamine intolerance / mast cell activation disease.... Also includes medications (normal beign medications like Paracetamol , iburofen etc)??? And secondly my second question is that have you suffered any fatigue? Like im talking about debiliating fatigue. Out of breath can barely walk. Excess sleeping. Always tired. God bless happy healing

Thanks so very much for your reply. I was wondering tho. I have dp/dr as well. Does it feel as if your flat. Can’t mentally attach to real life? Weirdest feeling in the world. Anyway hope you’re well soon. ( don’t mean to bug) lol. Paula

How would you say you healed from akathisia after 5 years?

weird thoughts, like how is my mind working? Am I really the same person? will I ever recover from this? really disturb me mentally. I am 8 months off benzos now. Do you have these types of weird thoughts or mental symptoms?

Congratulations on your milestone. It is a big mistake to go "cold turkey" from SSRI drugs, it should only be done *extremely* slow, .. but this is something the doctors don´t tell, most are clueless. If taken for more than 3 years you should slowly reduce the drug to zero in 6 months or even a year. Keep it up and call on Jesus to heal you completely. Some symptoms could also be of spiritual nature that no amount of your own "work" can fix.

How are you doing now? Thank you for your vids!

Do you get dizzy spells or vertigo? my eyes can't keep still focus properly?