I have total Aphantasia and I've been living my entire life thinking everybody imagined things the same way I did, the image was all black. Edit: I've always thought that counting sheep was a metaphor. I didn't know that people actually visualised sheep.

When I learned that Aphantasia was a thing, I was dumbfounded. My entire life, whenever someone said "Picture it in your mind" I always treated it like a figure of speech. You can't actually conjure up an image. Nobody could. Therefore I followed along, never understanding why I couldn't keep up.

Am I the only one who actually cried when they heard of this? I want to be able to see things in my mind too.

I’m very angry that people can see things when they close their eyes. I thought when people said to “imagine” that they meant to think what would happen not to imagine it happening. I still have a very good memory though

Anyone else getting this in their reccs after watching a vid about ppl not having an internal monologue?

I'm 32 and I just discovered I had this a few weeks ago. It's not like learning I have a disorder, it's more like discovering that most people have a super power that I don't have.

I'm a professional artist with aphantasia. I think in words and concepts and always assumed that people were just exaggerating when they said they saw vivid images in their minds. Now I wonder if I'd be more successful if I could imagine things the way others do. When it comes to work, I cant picture what Im going to make, I think of it as a concept and hope that it works in the end, and I use a lot of reference photos when doing realistic work. I feel like I am good at what I do, but cant get to the point of being really great at it.

I don’t visually see things in my head, I only hear my brain describing it in words.

I love to read. It's my absolute favorite thing to do. And when people said to me that when they're reading, it's "like seeing a movie in their heads", I thought they meant metaphorically, like, "it's as fun as watching a movie", or something like that. It took me years to understand that people actually see images in their heads when they're reading a novel. And it makes me feel kinda sad that I don't have that. But I think I just enjoy books differently. For me, it's not the visual aspect of it that matters, but the emotions portrayed. I feel the "atmosphere" of the scenes with much more intensity, because I have to experience the concepts involved in them, rather than just "picture" them in my head. I don't know if this will make any sense for y'all phantastic weirdos, but I'm sure my fellow aphantastics will relate.

I don't have aphantasia, and I don't need to close my eyes to imagine things. I can see a lot of images in my mind still with my eyes open. But it's nothing that overshadows your vision while you are still with your eyes open. It's like you can see both at the same time.

I'm 47 and it wasn't until last week did I know I have aphantasia. I was listening a CBC's Quirks and Quarks podcast. They way they were describing mental images was completely foreign to me. I was asking my wife about and she (and apparently most people) can actually see visual images when they close their eyes. I can't. The best I get is fleeting vague grey shapes. I do create mental constructs. I can tell you what my teenage bedroom was like. I can draw a map or a picture of it. If I go to Photoshop and can pick out the colour of my bed. But, I can definitely NOT close my eyes and create a visual image of it. Up until last week that is how I thought everybody was.

When I read a book I can't picture the characters. They are just words on a page. I still would get lost on my college campus after being there three years.

I like imagine things in my head but i dont actually see them? Do y’all actually SEE SEE things? Thats crazy

A beach...a beach...A Beach...A BEach...A BEAch...A BEACh...A BEACH...A BEACH FOR HEAVEN SAKE PLS JUST GIMMI A BEACH!!! T-T

I'm at a loss for words. I literally just stumbled across this and now I find out my very textual way of "visualising" is not "normal".. When someone says "picture blar blar" I literally just talk to myself in my head giving the item, place etc a few sentance description. Your visualise the beach question went something like this for me.... "ok she wants me to visualise a beach, ok. well there is sand that's yellowish with a slope down to the water that has some waves. Oh she said picture a chair ok there is a chair wait no now she said towel ok towel it is so I'm on a towel on sand that slopes gently to the water and it's hot... Apparently..and I guess the water can be a nice clear blue like I've seen before but who knows maybe it's an ugly green colour" Am I really bad or is that just like you? I saw nothing. I see black.

I get so frustrated with my aphantasia. My favorite thing is my imagination, reading, writing, making up scenarios, it’s so hard not being able to actually see those things except in my dreams

I am 61 and just finding out about this. It explains a lot. I loved my parents, but after they passed I felt very little emotion. I could not picture them in my mind. Without their images it's as if their memories have disappeared from my mind. I have to look at pictures to generate the memories.

Does this explain why ive never have an imaginary friend when i was younger and everyone thought that was weird

I found out two days ago that I have Aphantasia and been feeling bummed out for all the things I feel like I've missed in regards of experiencing life. However, "looking" back at all my achievements, I do feel proud of myself for breaking boundaries I wasn't even aware existed; I am an architect :)

I was 23 when I went off in various meditation groups ‘do you all see the images, I can’t see them’. Now I am 53 and finally there is the answer!

I just found out about this today. I didn’t know people could actually visualize things in their mind and really see them. I see total darkness😩. I had such a hard time in school when my teachers told me to visualize the math problem 🤦🏽‍♀️

I have aphantasia. Whenever I try to visualize anything, I end up narrating what is happening with words. I used to get so frustrated with guided meditations because I could never see what they were describing. Also if I close my eyes and imagine a color, like purple for example, I will only hear the word purple and other facts such as purple is made with red and blue. Sometimes in my dreams I’m able to visualize but most of the time it’s like my mind works in audio book format.

I think this needs a proper study. In school I was totally left out when asked to visualise something. Everyone was closing their eyes and going through some guided meditation and i opened my eyes because it was like staring at a brick wall with no features. I didn't fuly realise at the time how nobody else had my mental block. Only now at the age of 30 am I actually exploring this fact. I have always had a terrible memory and this explains why i believe. I have to use audio cues and verbal cues to reach specific memories. They talk about visual, audio and kinesthetic learners, about autism and mental disabilities etc. Where was my support when I struggled to remember things? Over a century since this was discovered and only NOW are we getting recognised. After years of being anxious and neurotic because I forgot stuff, like names and faces, do we achknowledge that maybe, just maybe, It's how I'm frigging wired and not because I'm lazy?!?! I will admit though, i do have auditory imagination, so I don't have it the worst. Still, what I wouls give to be able to SEE in my mind and not hear songs i hate on repeat for hours. Life sucks sometimes when abba won't get out of your head. And I don't mean that figuratively, it's really distracting.

The hardest part for me as a child was going to camp for a few weeks and then not remembering what my parents or sister looked like and even after being back with them I still couldn’t remember their faces. It sort of makes you feel a little less connected with people. Especially in bad times when you can’t actually remember what anyone you love looks like. It’s so embarrassing seeing someone who introduced to you recently and then you don’t know their name because you don’t remember their face.

I have synesthesia and was dating a guy with aphantasia. It was really interesting how we both saw the world so differently. Both of us could never picture each other's face, he said he'd look at a photo of me while we talked on the phone, while to me his voice just triggered an orange and green swirl. We went for walks through the park discussing how we'd remember it. And we both hadn't been aware of our "differences" until our early 30s.

I am an architect, and I had aphantasia all my life. I "imagine" without an image, I "imagine" concepts, not images of what I am designing.

“...who use an entirely different brain mechanism to accomplish the same task.” I love this quote and how it frames things

I have Aphantasia. I asked my son if he was the same. This was his reply: "I can picture an apple, I can touch it, taste it, smell it, I can hear the slight hollow sound of tapping on it ". I was blown away! Until a week ago I never knew this existed.

I am 40 and just learned about this today. This 100% describes me and I never realized I was different. I just innocently googled not being able to see images when meditating and now I feel so confused. I truly thought “seeing” something in your mind was a figure of speech. I rely on facts to create the idea of the image but don’t actually “see” the image.

Found this out at 30! Mind blown. I always felt so different and also wondered why I couldn’t do simple guided meditations. Well my aphantasia friends, transcendental meditation is the way. Breath work. Energy work. I work psychically - it’s not a hinderance at all. 🎉❤

I found out I have Aphantasia when my 3rd grade teacher told everybody to close their eyes and visualize stuff. I was confused at how everyone else was able to see stuff while I wasn't. It took me some years to realize that this is an actual condition.

I got to know that I've got Aphatasia quite some years ago. I described to a friend how I prefer movie adaptions to their original books, because I can see the world described coming to life... well, I was in for a huge surprise when we continued talking and she told me that there really is an image in her mind that she can change however she wants... I then asked my whole family and realized I'm the only one without the ability to imagine clear images... When I try to imagine something, it's like I can see some smudge that looks somewhat like what I wanted to see, but even this smudge is only "visible" for a split second.

I can visualize things in my mind, but for some reason they never stay still. I can't picture anything without some kind of movement in it. If I try, the image starts rotating or twisting on its own. I also can't imagine anything in the first person. All of my dreams and daydreams involving myself are always from a vantage point outside my body.

I was today years old when I found out I have Aphantasia.

I have Aphantasia too. But technically I have the other conditions they haven’t named yet where you also don’t recalls sounds, smells, or touch in my mind “ear/nose/skin” either. This one is harder for me to grasp. I remember being in choir and the director saying, “hear the notes in your head before singing...,” similar to the “close your eyes and ...” thinking what in the world are they all talking about. Glad to see so many comments of people who also process the world similarly.

I never knew this was even a thing. It makes me kind of sad because i love being able to visualize things in my head, future events, fictional events, daydream when I’m bored, etc

I used to have borderline hyperphantasia until a couple of decades ago. From mental imagery so vivid it was hard to distinguish from reality (complete with minor tactile senses and perfect audio senses; never any tastes or smells), to utter darkness with the inability to even conjure the fuzziest of images. It's because of this that I can no longer do math of any kind without seriously trying (and still struggling); I used to watch it solve itself in my mind, putting in zero mental effort, faster than people could punch numbers on a calculator. To say that my life has suffered and felt empty since then would be a drastic understatement.

I’m a maladaptive daydreamer, a writer, and generally someone obsessed with creating imaginary worlds inside my head. I have a condition called synesthesia, where things like words, numbers, months, and even music brings up vivid colors inside my brain. I have an amazingly accurate and lengthy photographic memory that allows me to remember visuals well, and I often spend hours of my life in my own mind just reliving my memories in full detail. My mind was absolutely BLOWN when I figured out that Aphantasia existed... because if there’s actually one thing I physically can’t imagine for the life of me, it’s living life without my mental images and creations. They make up so much of my world.

Aww, I feel sorry for you people that have aphantasia. I didn't realize it was so prevalent. Imagination is something I've always taken for granted. I'm very grateful now.

65 and never realised i have this. I have very vivid dreams but i can't picture what people are telling me i need to see it in the tangible. When i close my eyes i see colour and as i think of a colour the colours change each time to the colour i think of.

I learned I could not visualize things at the age of 57. I was so confused because I dream all night , very vividly, and some are horrible. So I want to stop the constant dreaming and be one of those people that can visualize while I'm awake.

I feel lucky to have found out i have this at the age of 14

There are people who have no internal dialogue either. The mind is so fascinating. It must be very painful to lose your ability to lose your mind's eye. Mine is extremely vivid, and I couldn't imagine losing it. From the two people I know who have aphantasia, they have had it all their lives, and it doesn't bother them that much, because they don't miss what they don't know. In fact, the woman I know who has it says that she can watch movies over and over again and never get bored because she retains no visual memory of the movie.

This is incredible. I had no idea that people could even live without visual imagery. My world is constant pictures and memories of past and present playing like movies in my head. I have severe P.T.S.D. I can only imagine not having to re-live real life recreations of trauma in my mind every hour of every day. I can see, smell, feel and experience the scenes as sure as if I had lived them that morning. I can picture days from my childhood, where I was standing, how the weather was, where other people were standing, what was said, how I felt, just like I was right back there. I had no idea not everyone experienced this.

I wonder if psychedelics affect people with aphantasia differently... can one hallucinate?

Before I found out I have aphantasia I thought everyone couldn't do it .

This really really explains why I have never ever liked reading books, and why I have never been able to meditate, and how I have never been good at test taking

Bro I've been trying to figure this out since I was a kid.... I just recently found out the name of this.

I always thought that mind’s eye was a fantastical idea.

When I learned people could visualize things in there mind I was like “wait wtf for real you can see stuff when there’s nothing there at will????????”

I figured out about this at 10. One time, my teacher asked the class to close our eyes and picture something while listening to a song. One thing about me is that I am very creative, but I can't imagine anything. Just darkness. So, in class, we had to draw what we pictured. Since I couldn't picture anything, I made something up. A girl flying across a forest. But I did not know how to draw this girl because I didn't know what she looked like! I didn't think much about this because I thought that it was normal. If you asked me to draw an elephant, it would just look like a big gray blob. 😮

I always thought people were just bullshitting me when they said they could imagine 😀

"Try not to picture a beach" Me: stares intensely at the sign behind her, visualizing the sign aggressively "You weren't able to do that, were you?" YOU UNDERESTIMATE MY POWER >:0

I can't believe that people can actually see an image in their mind, that's such an alien concept to me.

I knew from a fairly young age (8 or so) that other people had images in their head and I didn't, but I was really excited to see there is an actual name for it.

Thanks for publishing this. I was close to 40 when I realized people we not speaking metaphorically when they would say to “visualize” something. I have yet to meet another person who experiences life this way so it was great to see you talk about it so well.

Wow. Tamara has just described me to a tee. Especially when she says that she does not recognise people she does not know well, but picks up on their mannerisms.

I remember discussing my inability to visualize objects with a friend many years ago, and it is incredible to finally understand that I'm not insane or the only one.

[EDIT: I wrote this before she talked about it and now I'm blown away...] I was talking to someone about Harry Potter and they were saying that they disliked the movies because the characters looked so different from what they had imagined. I was very confused since I did not (nor do I now) try to imagine how characters I read about would look. It just didn't occur to me that that was a thing. Then I just forgot about it quickly but now I think there might be more to it... For the last year or so I also began to realize that I can't imagine my face doing stuff. I can recall my face from memory (from some time I looked in the mirror) for a split-second before it vanishes and if I concentrate really hard I can think of some details but what I can never do is imagine "how does my face look right now". It came from a completely different direction though: I was thinking about my non-existing social skills, especially how I'm incapable of picking up non-verbal language and I thought "I wonder what non-verbal signals I'm sending" and then I realized I had no idea nor could I imagine what my face was doing.

Wow reading this comment section I realized that wow I'm not alone, so many people know what it's like and reading it and it's just making me cry lol

when i first learned about this a while about i was so baffled but everything made sense. i always thought the phrase "a book will transport you" was like a figure of speech. i never knew that people could actually create *images* in their mind, like looking at a picture. but then i felt so sad because i loved to read but it was hard because i would find myself skimming and not exactly knowing what's going on because there was no picture to guide me. i felt so left out when my whole family could see in their head to an extent except me, left in total darkness.

My friend just sent this to me and said “Alex told me he has this!” That’s her bf. I’ve never heard of this before. I definitely don’t have it. When I daydream intensely, I get so lost in the visual world that it’s very uncomfortable coming back to reality. I’m amazed that some people can’t visualize things in their mind!

while I was in college studying architecture, i could never understand how people think how the design would look like at the end. I just had to try different variations and see. Then i found out about aphantasia couple weeks ago. I’m devastated that I have no imagination at all.

I'm so beyond confused. Do people really see clear images when they close their eyes or is it just a vague idea of what an object might look like?

Finally! Ive always felt so stupid when i could never relate to 'counting sheep' or other examples, but now have an explanation 😂

I can’t imagine any visuals But I can dream, I’m blessed with that. My grandma never had a dream in her life and I think I got aphantasia from her :/

This is truly fascinating. I'm 35 and have often wondered how other people visually imagine things compared to my own "blank canvas" experience. It's so nice to know that I'm not the only one who thinks like this. I have quite an interesting observation however. I personally cannot imagine images in my mind, whether they're conjured from my fictional "imagination" or from past experience, yet when I dream; IN the dream I can see clearly the images and movies of that dream. When I wake, I cannot picture them again and they're moved back to how I perceive every other "image" - which is more of a feeling rather than an actual image. Does anybody else with Aphantasia dream in imagery?

So when she says "imagine yourself sitting on a beach" everybody just whacks out an image from their memory of them sitting on a beach, right? I've learned about Aphantasia 1 hour ago and now I'm questioning everything...

I am shook! I had no idea that people could actually see things!! I always hated doing meditation and stuff because I never saw the beach and I hated learning techniques like the “mind palace” because I never understood how it helped other than having to memorize two facts - the one I’m trying to learn and where it’s supposed to go. I really cannot get over the fact that people can actually see in their mind! That’s like a crazy superpower! Ps I totally agree visualizing a book is cheating!

Is anyone here able to reconstruct sounds and voices in your head? I can't

7 year old me extremely confused and frustrated everytime my teacher told me to visualize/imagine something now it all makes sense

I can totally relate when she talked about watching a move made from a book she had read. I was never able to imagine the characters either, but enjoyed the stories and the emotions very much. I also didn't get it when people would talk about the characters being different than they imagined. Wow.

And this was when I realized my whole life was a lie.

I can't imagine what it's like to NOT see imaginary images. As a kid, I would imagine Sonic running along the footpath in the car. We had only just moved to Australia, so there were tons of frequent long car rides, and I was bored out of my mind. I think I would have actually gone insane if I couldn't imagine anything to entertain myself. I also REALLY stuggle NOT to see anything when I shut my eyes. If there is no visual stimulus, my brain will create one. A lot of the time, when I'm about to fall asleep, I'll see visions of things happening in video games that never happened (mining in terraria, trying to make the optimal play in pvz heroes, etc.) It's like dreaming, but I know I'm still awake and I have full control and can open my eyes at any moment. It's more just me imagining scenarios. A lot of the time, though, I'll really struggle in math class. I get lost in all the numbers and equations, whereas everyone else just recites the rules and does what they've been taught to. I'm pretty good at geometry and physics, because I have something to actually imagine, but in math (especially stuff like the unit circle, or polynomials) I REALLY struggle. The only reason I can do calculus, is because I can physically imagine how each derivation corresponds to distance, velocity, acceleration, etc. I also usually imagine a piano whenever learning about music theory, too. That was a long ramble, and I'm sure not many people will find it interesting. This comment section is full of people offering data about this disorder, and I'm here messing it up by writing about normal imagination. But, either way, I do genuinely struggle to imagine what it's like not having images in my head. It's like trying to imagine being colour blind, it's crazy to me. Well, I guess most the people here wouldn't be able to imagine being colour blind at all, so that analogy is pretty bad...

As a highly creative, very imaginative person (artist, writer, and avid reader), it is astounding to try to understand how this kind of neurology works. It's amazing and incredible to hear it described so well by someone who doesn't understand the "other" side of things. Fascinating!!

this made me cry. my whole life I thought about why people could learn things so easily.

I discovered this problem in some psychology courses, where we were made to try imagination relaxation. While others were describing huge fields, trees, even people communicating to them in their imagery, I was describing it to myself verbally. I felt pretty much lonely in this. Also I have an ability to paint, even things not painted or seen before, but I think it's rather an intellectual construct. Maybe I have imagination, but I do not have direct access to it.

I can imagine something so vividly, and when combined with my strong inner voices I could just wandering around with my brain when I was bored. It's basically annoying if I want to have a clear mind because I couldn't. I can create my own scenarios, movies, stories, universes, all of them in my head. But it requires my brain to be in idle state, rather get myself into a boredom state and not doing anything. This is why I'm lucid dreaming a lot. It's so baffling to me the fact that some people wanted to have lucid dream experience in their sleep. Meanwhile for me it's like everyday in my sleep.

When I found out people can actually see in their mind and after listening to people say “visualize the life you want” I feel like I’m mourning the loss of something I didn’t know I didn’t have

My husband found out he has aphasia just a few months ago. We have been blown away by how much this explains. There's always been something different about the way he processes events, memories, plans. I'm thankful for this.

Before i found out about Aphantasia I had a class when every Thursday all the students would put their head on the desk and the teacher would read us a mental exercise and 9/10 times it would involve us picturing something and I didn't think she meant literally and just basically listed off things I knew about that image but always got lost when ever she mentioned to move of something when I first saw this I thought about how much this made since after doing more research and confirmed that I had it and told my teacher about it soon after and i didn't have to participate ones that required imagery and instead tried to solidify the blurs that I saw(one way of curing Aphantasia). Granted I haven't had much luck so far but its only been a month so I'm not worried all that much. Thank you for reading I just wanted to share my story with Aphantasia.

I have a somewhat mild form of this where I sometimes can picture things but it's a very dim, faded, fuzzy image. Being told to picture something from scratch, that is, something I haven't seen many times usually results in a near total lack if not a total lack of ability to picture that thing.

I just learned about aphantasia and I am in my 70s. There have been times, in books or articles, they talked about a mental image and I just couldn't do it. If I try, it is like there is a slick curved glass wall blocking my brain image mechanism. It is nice to know there is a name for this condition and it explains so much!

I can't imagine being unable to hold images in my mind. It's one of the most delightful human skills I possess

I've always seen nothing, and I thought it was completly normal. Now I found out people actually can see stuff, it is so weird to me.

I dont know if I have it. I'm so confused. I am an artist and I always felt like I do visualise what I want to draw or what I want something to look like. however I don't see anything when I close my eyes.. I am really confused as to what this means. do I have it and are the mental images that I have not visual all? or am I just expexting to much of what a visual brain image should look like? someone pls help me this is driving me crazy

This is a really great explanation. I’ve seen comments where people say if you don’t actually literally see the mental picture. I can definitely visualize imagery very clearly.

I tried explaining this to my psychologist a few years ago and received a blank stare. Progress, nice.

The weirdest part I experience when being ask to “picture myself on a beach” is that I don’t see anything, but I can feel the warmth of the sun or the breeze against my skin. To me it’s almost like reading a book, my brain is likes it’s sandy there would be waves and maybe a little boat out on the sea. I can recall information of what a beach is like I just don’t see it. Maybe like an audiobook description of a beach

one time i was working on exercises with rubbing my eyes, and one time i saw a forest scene, as if i was laying on my back, gazing at the stars. it was dull, like looking through several pairs of sunglasses, but it was so beautiful. i cried for i dont know how long. it still amazes me, and i keep working to see it again.

I’m 66 and realized this when I was 16. Aphantasia people are more grounded in reality. My girlfriend would hear a mean dog bark and “see” it right next to the car. Enjoy life and the way God made you…!!!!

I have this and thought it was how everyone was until a few years ago. Pictures have always been extremely important to me and I think this is why. I can’t picture something in my mind so I need the physical image to see it.

I think this is why I struggled in school in certain classes.

as someone, who has aphantasia, i often feel left out from people, who can imagine things. i also do arts and like to think of scenarios, but then i have very poor creativity, meaning, i always take longer to make good ideas, unlike others would. and it makes sense, most people dont know much about aphantasia, so theres often lack of aphantasia representation

She is me completely! Wow. Thanks for the education!

I stumbled across this Aphantasia phenomenon and just now realized I have it. I am in my 60s. My entire life I sensed I was different from other people in my thought processes and problem solving abilities but I never realized it was because I could not picture images in my mind. As the speaker mentioned I have great difficulty recognizing the faces of people I know only casually. I just can't place them. I know I know the person but I don't know from where or who they are. I can recognize a voice from my childhood but I cannot conjure up a face to go with the voice. I can only visualize loved ones who have passed by looking at photos. I know my brain has compensated for this my entire life. I wonder why I cannot, what brain processes prevent it and how the brain compensates for this inability. I am glad there are ongoing studies to look into Aphantasia because I have so many questions. I am sure others do as well. I finally understand why I have such difficulties with certain tasks others find easy. It is amazing because I am an artist but now understand why I have struggled reproducing images of even the simplest of things. I have zero spatial ability and no, "mind's eye." It all makes sense now. Funny, but it was only through reading about Disney animator Glen Keane who is also affected that I realized my own inability to see images in my brain. As others have reported I always thought the term counting sheep was just a saying. I never realized other people could actually see sheep and count them. It is paradoxically freeing and frightening to suddenly realize this.

i can only "visualize" things as a motion following their outlines.

Am I the only one who felt she was portraying people without aphantasia as if they had photographic memory? I can picture all those sceneries pretty easy, but I doubt it's common to picture things in details enough to actually visually remember text. For that, I just use verbal cues anyway

I find it extremely interesting how we develop more and more knowledge about (other) humans thought process.

I've got acquired aphantasia which started after hitting the back of my head one day after I slipped. Before then I was able to visualize things when I closed my eyes easily. I remember during days I meditated how I would be asked to visualize the sky and the clouds when I close my eyes and it would literally be there without even trying that hard. I don't know how this will affect my life moving forward but from what I'm reading in the comments i'm more hopeful as it seems that people can get by without this ability. I'm glad that I at least had the chance to experience this amazing ability and that I'm one of the few I guess that experienced both sides of it.