Managed to get a picture with REM, that’s me in the corner.

I think it's time we make Zac take an IQ test.

2.5 isn't a mixed fraction, it's a decimal. 2 1/2 is a mixed fraction, ergo the game is wrong, and there's no shame for you Ciarán.

A man attends a funeral and asks the widow if he can say a word, she agrees. He steps up clears his throat and says “Plethora”, then sits back down. The widow replies “Thanks, that means a lot”.

I was applying for an Australian citizenship and the interviewer asked "do you have a criminal record?" I said "no, is that still required?"

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk in to donate blood. The rabbit says "I think I might be a type-O."

My grief counsellor died, but he was so good that I don’t even care.

Horse walks into a bar Bartender: Hey Horse: Yes please

I will never forget my granddad’s final words “Are you still holding the fucking ladder?”

Great video - here's the best joke I could think of off the top of of my head: I walked in a butchers and the guy said that he bet me 20 quid I couldn't reach those two bits of meat up there. But I said I'm not betting. The steaks were too high.

I always take my wife morning coffee in my pyjamas. But is she grateful? No. She says she'd rather have it in a cup

Who's the nicest guy in a hospital? The ultrasound guy. And who covers for him when he's away? The hip replacement guy

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?” “Yeah,” the other cow says, “makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

Ciarán looks like a proud dad every time Zac gets a question right :)

how does Zac get the easiest questions but still not know them 😂

Knock knock 🚪 Who’s there? Smellip Smellip-who? …💩 £250 thank you very much (Sorry, had to go for the most childish joke I know)

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, “Hey, they named a drink after you!” “Really?” replies the grasshopper. “There’s a drink named Stan?”

Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticise them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.

“My girlfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down” - love you Ciaran

Ciaran is criminally underrated, that’s not the joke btw

There are 7 dwarves in a bath feeling happy. Happy gets out so they all feel grumpy.

I gave my daughter a fridge for her birthday. It was great seeing her face light up when she opened it

Don’t know if anyone has said this but I’m pretty sure the reason it’s called pencil lead is because it used to be lead but when they found out about the side effects of lead they switched to graphite

Son: Why is my sister called Teresa? Dad: Coz your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram Son: Thanks dad Dad: No problem Alan

- What do you call a deer with no eyes? - No idea … - What do you call a dead deer with no eyes? - Still no idea

I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.

why do swedish boats have barcodes on them? so they can Scandinavian.

I went into the pet shop the other day to buy a goldfish. The bloke asked if I wanted an aquarium. I said “I don’t care what star sign it is”

A horse walk's into a bar. The bar tender says 'Why the long face?' The horse reply's 'My alcoholism is destroying my family'

I was working as a barman and a bloke walked in and put a 1 foot tall man on the bar and a small piano, in no time the bar was filled with amazing piano music. I asked the bloke 'thats amazing, where did you get him from?' He took a lamp from his pocket and said 'if you rub this a genie will appear and grant you 1 wish' I grabbed the lamp and the genie appeared in all his glory and asked me what my wish was. 'I wish I had a million bucks' As soon as I finished my wish the genie disappeared and 1 by 1 a million ducks started walking into the bar. I said 'what's happened here? I think that genie is hard of hearing, I asked for a million bucks not a million ducks' The bloke looked at me with a weary expression and said 'do you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?'

There was once a farmer who loved his tractors, he had posters and models and a tractor of his own The only thing he loved more was his darling wife One day a horrible accident occurred and his wife was flattened by a tractor Upon hearing the news the farmer tears down his posters, bins his models and sells his tractor A few years later he is on a date with a woman, trying to move on after his wifes death Suddenly the restaurant fills with smoke from the kitchen, his date screams but he tells her not to worry He stands up and sucks in the smoke, rushes outside, and blows it out He does this a few times until all the smoke had gone The date said “wow, how did u do that?” The farmer replied “im an ex-tractor fan”

What is the opposite of a croissant? A happy uncle.

A man in a wheelchair stole my camouflage jacket. I called out after him “You can hide, but you can’t run!” .

Two nuns are driving on a dark and stormy night, through the winding back roads of Transelvainia. Wind lashes and lightning flashes in the distance. All of a sudden a vampire slams himself onto their window terrifying the poor nuns. As he hisses and violently shakes the car, one nun screams “show him your cross” The other nun yells “Get off the fucking Window!”

To the guy who stole my antidepressants: I hope you’re happy now.

Freud walks into a bar. The bartender says “sorry, we can’t serve you”. Freud walks out, shouting, “mother fucker”

Two cows stood in a field, one says to the other "you heard about this mad cow disease?" The other cow says back looking confused.. "Don't know what you're on about Nigel, I'm a dog"

The past, the present and the future walked into a bar It was tense

What do you call a man with a car on his head? An Ambulance

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Their last big hit was the wall.

What do a puppy and a near-sighted gynaecologist have in common? A wet nose

Zac with one of the greatest character arcs of modern media

I bought a TV in the sale, dead cheap but the volume was stuck on full. I thought, "I can't turn that down."

Why did the chicken cross the road? - to get to your house Knock knock - who’s there? - the chicken

I don’t remember many jokes unless I specifically relate to them, many I know are MH related, this one gave me a chuckle when I first heard it - “Dating with mental health is a little different - third base is when they see you having an anxiety attack.”

My dad used to always say, “You should fight fire with fire!” Which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire department.

Local advertisement: Broken guitar for sale; no strings attached

Intro was too jokes 🤣

A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and … cola.” “Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”

thought you’d appreciate a harry potter joke: Why is Mad-Eye Moody such a bad professor? Because he can’t control his pupils

Apparently the English language is one of the hardest to learn. For example, ‘knight’ has a silent K, ‘Knick knack’ has 4 silent Ks and ‘republican’ has 3 silent Ks

A group of nuns all go for a bike ride, and they're giggling the whole way. The mother superior calls to them "stop giggling or I'll put the saddles back on"

Two fish are in a tank, One fish turns to the other and asks; “How do we drive this thing”

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

quality content as always kings

What do you call a rooster staring at a piece of lettuce? A chicken sees a salad

Joke: What’s black and at the top of a staircase? Stephen Hawking in a house fire

joke time: a man walks into his doctors office the doctor looks at his results asks him to pick a star sign any star sign the man thinks and says...dunno Capricorn? and the doctor says, close but no...you have cancer...

Why do elephants paint their balls red? To hide in cherry trees. What's the loudest noise in the jungle? A giraffe eating cherries.

Ciaran can you laugh for no reason? no joke ? just my life

Great video! Joke - I got my wife a bionic leg for Christmas last year. It wasn't her main present though, it was more of a stocking filler.

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in a microwave and it’s Bill Withers…

What’s the difference between people from Dubai and people from Abu Dhabi? People from Dubai don’t like the Flinstones but people from Abu Dhabi Do

What do you get a naughty child with no arms for Christmas, a tennis ball. Worst thing is they still haven't opened it.

What’s starts with M and ends with Arriage. Miscarriage That joke never gets old, and neither does the baby.

I rang work and I said "I can't come in today, I have a wee cough" The boss said "You have a wee cough?" I said "Wow, thanks boss, see you next Wednesday!"

a man goes to a library and asks the librarian if she has any books on turtles. 'hard back?' she asks. 'aye and the tiny heads'

Two sausages sizzling in a pan, One sausage says to the other “Jesus it’s hot in here” The other sausage replies “ FUCKIN HELL A TALKING SAUSAGE”

“Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?”-George Carlin

I hear you need 2 pandas, 6 grizzlies and 4 polars to open a zoo, It's the bear minimum!

Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

A woman who just went into Labor suddenly shouted “Shouldn’t, wouldn’t, couldn’t, didn’t, can’t”. “Don’t worry” said the doctor. “Those are just contractions”

Recently there has been a lot of property damage in the area, specifically to washing machines. The police couldn't find the culprit, but yesterday they found a dead body and linked the fingerprints to the damaged property, the man's name was Callum, all the locals are so happy because washing machines live longer with cal gone

A Sandwich walks into a bar. Bartender says, "sorry we don't serve food here"

Alex’s hair. All the stages. Tell him to get that bandana back, that looked good

zac was fuming when he found out he learned and tried to finally read a book all for pride

Prediction: - Ciarán: Definitely - Will: Probably - Zac: Nah

BNAG - that’s bang out of order

Finally something to make Zac feel smart

ciarán: let's use a ds emulator to play are you smarter than a 10 year old? me, an intellectual: let's use a ds emulator to play pokémon games

So when I was growing up, we had this family friend who was a farmer, and this guy was absolutely obsessed with tractors. He had posters all over his walls, he bought all the tractor magazines every week, he spent all his free time talking about tractors online etc. The only thing in his life that could compare to his love of tractors was his wife. They were childhood sweethearts, had been married for 20-odd years, never argued about anything, a proper love story for the ages. Anyway, one night the farmer was out tending to his fields in one of his many, many tractors, as he did every day and night, and after he had finished his work and was reversing his tractor back into the barn where he kept it, he hit something. The farmer simply just assumed he had accidentally gone too far back and hit the hay bales he kept at the back of the barn. Either way, he got out and checked just to be sure, and to his absolute horror he found he had actually reversed straight into his wife. She had come out to look for him to tell him she was headed to bed early that night, and in the dark he hadn't seen her behind the tractor, and the tractors engine covered up the noise of her shouting for the farmer to stop. The wife was rushed into an ambulance but was unfortunately pronounced dead on the way to the hospital from her injuries. This, understandably, absolutely broke the farmer. One of his favourite things in the world had just killed his other favourite thing. This lead to the farmer questioning whether he could still love tractors after one had just killed his wife, and after much deliberation, he got rid of the posters, stopped buying the magazines, and he stopped going online to talk about tractors. He fell out of love with them. Very slowly over time, the farmer started meeting people again and started going on some dates, as him and his late wife had always promised they'd do if the other one died. At one of these dates, the farmer noticed smoke started coming out of the kitchen of the restaurant the date was at. At first it was only a small amount, but over time more and more smoke came bellowing out of this kitchen, at which point a chef ran out screaming "FIRE!" with the rest of the kitchen staff following him. This led to a massive scramble of everyone trying to rush out the door, everyone except the farmer. He simply just walked towards the kitchen, stood tall, put his shoulders back and took the deepest breath that he could, somehow breathing in every bit of smoke in the restaurant whilst also cutting the oxygen supply of the fire and putting it out. He then walked outside and breathed all the smoke out of his lungs into the air. Obviously everyone was shocked and began asking him how the hell he did that, to which he simply replied "I'm an ex-tractor fan".

A man walks into a hardware shop. He goes up to the counter and asks for some screws to which the store assistant replies “How long do you want them?”. Confused, the man exclaims “I want to keep them!”

Two bike riding nuns return from a day out, and the younger says to the older “I’ve never come that way before” and the older says “It’s the cobblestones”

dont have to watch to know ill love this!

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other off. Also, sick video. I’m quite disappointed that you lost to Zac though..🤣

A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said: "Fuck off...you won't bring it back!"

To the person that stole my Microsoft Office Licence: I’m going to find you. You have my word.

Joke- Dentist: “This will hurt a little.” Patient: “OK.” Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife.”

Ask me what I’m doing tomorrow What are you doing tomorrow Andy? Well first I’m collecting my glasses and then I’ll see…

A granny is driving her car along the high way knitting, a police car come up beside her and notices what she is doing. Police: “Oi…Pullover!” Granny: “No it’s a sweater”

What do you call Stephen hawking with a Hand grenade: RC-XD

I would have said that my best joke was my parents marriage but jokes have meaning

A piece of string walks into a bar and asks for a drink, the bartender says "no we don't serve your kind in here". So the piece of string walks out of the bar, ties himself together and messes his hair up. The piece of string walks back into the bar and says "ill have that drink now". The bartender says "aren't you that piece of string I refused earlier". The piece of string says " No, I'm A Freyed knot"

Done dirty by that final question there Ciaran

A man walks into a bar, he says “ow”

The world's leading expert on wasps walks into a record shop. As he’s flicking through the records he comes across one titled “101 wasp sounds”, the expert grabs the record and buys it instantly. He takes home his new record excited to play it, but to not read any of the track list and to challenge himself to spot which species of wasp each track is a recording of. He listens to track one but can’t for the life of him seem to work out what it is. “Hmm that’s strange” thought the expert, so he skips to track 2 and once again is completely stumped. This goes on and on until he’s listened to all 101 tracks and couldn’t name a single one. The following day the expert storms back to the record shop, goes to the counter and says "This is outrageous false advertising! I am the words leading wasp expert and no specimen of wasp that I know of has ever made a sound like the ones on this!” The shop assistant calms the man down, then explains to him that he had actually been listening to the Bee side.

And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.” But John came fifth - and won a toaster.

Two fish in a tank. One says to the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

What do you call a lobster that throws things? A lobber

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates