Venting or Gossiping?

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Venting or Gossiping?

Рет қаралды 283,919

8 жыл бұрын

Sometimes we forget how much of an impact our words can make. In this video, Fr. Mike reminds us that our words have the power to build up or destroy relationships and even whole communities. He points out some helpful distinctions between venting and gossiping and gives some guidelines for avoiding what he calls “the everyday betrayal.”
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Пікірлер: 488

@t.m.waltman2726 Жыл бұрын

I'm guilty of this sin . I thought i was venting but in reality I was spreading gossip. Lord, please forgive me and mend all the broken hearts I've caused. Amen!

@praisegod3768 Жыл бұрын

you're not alone in this! May God give you great peace and comfort.

@ashmatter1678 8 ай бұрын

Youre not alone, I am going to repent from it today, yesteray I share information about someome who shouldn't be share , I said I saw her crying and I'm not sure if nots gossip but it doesn't involved me

@alessandraaversa6421 6 ай бұрын

I feel so convicted!

@Hisunworthyservant Ай бұрын

Me too! Please JESUS, FORGIVE ME THESE SINS! Wash me clean with Your Most Precious Blood!

@leomarinak2783 2 жыл бұрын

Beautifully put. "Set a guard, oh Lord, before my mouth, a gatekeeper at my lips." Psalm 141

@broker1628 7 жыл бұрын

I've actually always struggled with this subject, it's so nice to have a clear idea of what's acceptable and what's not. Thank you Father!

@IgnacioAgramonte 7 жыл бұрын

WHEN YOU ARE DOING GOOD OR HELPING ANYONE ITS GOOD THEN, AS LONG AS YOU ARE NOT CAUSING HARM TO OTHERS. SOMETIMES I REALLY COMPLAINT ABOUT MY SIS IN LAW, AND KNOW THINGS I UTTER ARE NOT NICE, BUT HER INSULTS TO US HURT A LOT. JESUS WILL UNDERSTAND THE MOST INNER PROBLEMS INSIDE PEOPLE HEART.

@oliverbellh3633 4 жыл бұрын

Call no man father

@lorichet 2 жыл бұрын

@@oliverbellh3633 Another incorrect interpretation by Protestants. And he said, “Brethren and fathers, listen: The God of glory appeared to our father Abraham when he was in Mesopotamia, before he dwelt in Haran," (Acts 7:2)

@josephjackson1956 5 ай бұрын

@@oliverbellh3633call no man Father, for you have one Father in Heaven. My dad is my biological father and I call him father. My priest is my spiritual father and I call him father. Even St. Paul calls himself a father (like a priest) in 1 Corinthians 4:15 Even if you had ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel.

@Dafni.Cortes 2 ай бұрын

@@IgnacioAgramontethis reminds me of my younger stepsister (we’re Hispanic btw so it’ll be considered “normal”) some things she’s said and done to me have been hard and she often threatens to tell mom on me for personal reasons, gonna make this long story short, she was controlling, invading my personal stuff, giving me silent treatment, etc, and one time she got into a love relationship with one of her cousins, and yet whenever I told her off, I’m essentially “talking back and disrespecting her”. And she’s told me not to tell mom otherwise “i’ll end up starting problems between me and her”. When me and my mom were together alone helping each other clean, she would ask me if my younger stepsister was doing what she did to me, I confidentially told her the truth. Mom then installed a ring surveillance doorbell for evidence in case my stepdad defended my younger stepsister (she was temporarily the favorite of the family). When she got finally told off for what she’s done, she would play victim, stay angry at me and my sister, and even cry to her mother living in Mexico telling her that “the family is traumatizing her and scaring her” even though we were not. I’m even scared to introduce her to my boyfriend in case she starts saying hurtful stuff about him, however as of 4/13/2024, she no longer lives with us after like what, 3 years and nearly 3 months? I tend to feel bad and call myself a chismosa but mom reassured me that what she’s done is never my fault and told me that I should not feel the need to cover anyone’s BS to feel liked or loved. I cried while being reassured but i digress.

@avg1712 11 ай бұрын

I am someone who has been gossiped about for 2 yrs at church. It gets so bad when I volunteer, I sometimes go home and cry. Thing is, I volunteer for God, not them. I try and make friends and help, but am pretty much an outcast because I do not gossip. Some of the cruelest people can be those who go to Mass, Take communion and then gossip about you. All I can do is pray that God gives me strength

@lanecurameng Ай бұрын

Our LORD honors you from keeping yourself in the spirit of Christ ❤

@ambilaevus7607 2 жыл бұрын

Gossip drove my son from the church when he was a kid. He literally veiws the church as a pit of petty hostile people. I wish more people were aware of the consequences of gossip.

@btbfree 6 жыл бұрын

We need a channel dedicated to gossip alone. Gossip destroys families, relationships, communities. It is so poisonous that it destroys a person's life. God bless you Fr. Mike

@lonebutterfly38 11 ай бұрын

As I listen to this, I can hear my coworkers gossiping about a former employee. I turned my headphones up.

@Making_it_happen 4 ай бұрын

This really resonated with me because this is the main reason why I separated myself from my in-laws. They are Catholic, and so in marriage, I converted. They judged me and mistreated me even before I married my husband, only knowing me for about 8 months. My husband and I met somewhat later in life and so we knew we were ready, so we moved quickly. He comes from a huge tight-knit family and they are very judgmental. About 15 years into the marriage, after my mother in law passed, I stopped attending family functions because I’m just done. The gossip and tension has taken a toll on me so I just stopped attending family events. I’m done.

@Avionne_Parris 8 жыл бұрын

This was so deep... Everyday Betrayal = Gossip. I honestly didn't know the difference between venting and gossiping and I believe many people believe the two words are interchangeable. Thanks for this clarification and God bless your online ministry. May hearts and souls be touched by the Word of God.

@mom6boyz 6 жыл бұрын

When venting stops being "helping to carry a burden" to "recruiting to be on my side" Yes!

@laXrockera691 7 жыл бұрын

This came at just the right time! Thank you. As a recovering blabbermouth, I need to be more comfortable keeping silent about other people's matters, as well as practicing discretion on what I say.

@lanecurameng Ай бұрын

A recovering blabbermouth...well said. Wisely said

@brianheath5091 8 жыл бұрын

Women often carry the reputation for gossip, but even men should hear this difference between gossip and venting! Now I'll be going to reconciliation and apologizing to my roommate for gossiping...

@aracelirivera2665 7 жыл бұрын

Brian Heath Good point! The sin of gossip is not gender specific. This was an excellent talk.

@seeweedmaps4665 3 жыл бұрын

In theory, that is what paid listeners are for. That is what they get paid to do.

@moatazyacour9971 2 жыл бұрын

@@aracelirivera2665 lool women gossip moore than maan 10000

@snsdlover69 2 жыл бұрын

I’ve heard plenty of men gossip Ive heard men talk about ppl in the worst ways while gossiping both Genders are guilty of this sin

@bizarte24_ 2 жыл бұрын

Bored women and housewives gossip a lot.

@teriellis9487 Жыл бұрын

Thank you Fr Mike. Gossiping is a very disgusting habit, it destroys people & i can testify as i am a victim of church gossipers. I used to serve at church but one day i became the subject of malicious gossip of the same people who are also serving the church. However, i can face God because my conscience is clean but it has burned me alive at the stake, i turned my back at the church, stopped serving & stopped going to mass even, i thought what'sthe use anyway, for 25 years i was away from the church, i even tried going to mediums, started reading about new age religion but God never left me. To cut the story short & gladly, i returned back to the church this year, started attending the mass again, went back to confession again & started praying the holy rosary, chaplet of divine mercy & chaplet to st michael, etc again. If God wants me to serve again- it might take a lot of convincing, for now, im at peace to just pray, Our blessed mother never let go of me, i even dreamt of her one night telling me, it's time to go home, i didn'teven realize it was her until i received a picture of the immaculate concepcion from the Marian fathers. People need to understand especially those who are serving the church that gossip itself is a mortal sin, it kills not physically but spiritually not just the victim itelf but also the person who gossips & spreads lies, it is the work of the devil. I have decided that I will never leave Jesus & our blessed mother again for Judas & sadly, there are so many Judases in our church these days so i will stay praying in peace & quite, alone with God.

@detoxlady6777 8 ай бұрын

This is the best testimony. I feel that you are an innocent soul and a good example. Thank you for sharing this.

@mer3639 5 ай бұрын

I am muslim, but it’s very interesting/ I was very curious how the Christians think about gossip. Thankyou for the information father ❤️

@MeowyMakes 2 жыл бұрын

thank you for differentiating "letting it out" vs "getting someone on your side." The former happened to me recently. When a friend and I had a disagreement, I had to vent it out to someone else not because I wanted them to take my side, but because I just didn't know what to do and needed help. And I was okay venting to that specific someone because I knew they wouldn't take either side, but acknowledge both sides & comfort me at the same time. Sadly, I AM guilty of the latter, of trying to get someone on my side against a certain person... That wasn't cool of me, and tbh I still feel some pain from that every now and then. But I am grateful for a forgiving God who gives unlimited chances to try again. And I'm thankful for this video, and grateful to know the difference between venting and gossipping. Thank you, Father Mike

@Goodcarrico208 7 жыл бұрын

I'm new to your channel and I'm not actually catholic, but you really hit the head on the nail with this discussion about the difference between gossip and venting. I really appreciate this message

@marykabore8356 Жыл бұрын

A sin is a sin When we gossip we realize it by The Holy Spirit convicting us and then we as God for forgiveness I am always praying that God help me to stop gossiping in Jesus Name 🙏🏾. Praying for all who read this or listen to this and is gossiping 🙏🏾

@stageluvr91 Жыл бұрын

My coworker and I vent a lot to each other about our manager because we both have to deal with him. It’s no secret about how he behaves - I mean no secret between us. Now I’m wondering if that’s really gossip if we just vent between ourselves. Ugh. Some days I feel like everything I do is a sin. Then I fall into the sin of scrupulosity. Maybe Fr. Mike should do a video on that sin.

@Sean-of9rs Ай бұрын

Scrupulosity is generally not a sin because it's not something you can generally control (a sin requires you to be able to choose not to do something, and people usually don't choose to have extreme anxiety about their actions being sinful). You might want to look up what scrupulosity is; Catholic Answers has some good resources. Scrupulosity can be very difficult to avoid and may even require external help. Praying for you!

@KarlieBlue777 9 ай бұрын

This video is still providing great guidance 7 years after it was recorded. I needed to hear it in 2023. As a manager, I routinely discuss employee performance, aptitude, and attitude with two colleagues. On occasion, during legit conversations, we slide into sinful gossip and slander. Ugh. I better tape that verse on my forehead so I don't forget. Or better yet, on my computer screen (for zoom calls).

@VeronicasVeil333 Жыл бұрын

Amen……”recruiting someone to be on my side”……perfectly said!

@gisole98 6 жыл бұрын

I've been struggling with gossip for a while and I always end up telling myself "well... I'm just venting". Of course this video would come up in my suggestions. Thank you!

@tonyneises5195 4 жыл бұрын

Awesome words, Thank you Father. "Set a guard, LORD, before my mouth, keep watch over the door of my lips". Thank for sharing this prayer.

@spinninginspace Жыл бұрын

📖Psalm 141:3 set o Lord a guard before my mouth,a gatekeeper at my lips! ✨

@ruthortega5822 4 ай бұрын

Thank you for this Father Mike. I, too, struggle with this subject. I don't know the difference between gossiping or sharing information. I confess to gossiping every day because I get confused. I guess I gossip everytime I speak about someone else good or bad. I will definitely set a guard before my mouth and gatekeeper at my lips and think before I speak.

@crystaltogiamana4590 27 күн бұрын

Thank and thank our one and true father in heaven. God bless you brother Mike🙏

@EM2theBee 5 жыл бұрын

I turned to the internet to look up help with gossip and came across this. It was exactly what I needed to hear.

@Naturalhit 8 жыл бұрын

I can relate to that. I used to work at the Public Library. Been there for 9 years. I loved the job and the people I served, but I ended up quiting because of too much gossip on me by my co-workers.

@relentlessrhythm2774 Жыл бұрын

I had to leave a job for this reason too.

@lizafemcs Жыл бұрын

Thank you for this Fr. Mike! I found out the hard way what the difference is. I went and read on the life of St. Monica of Hippo and how she poured out her heart and shared her secrets only with God. I'm endeavoring to follow her example and already, I feel better about talking to Him alone whenever I have problems I can't share.

@Flintstone_o7 Жыл бұрын

"what do we think of when we say, Brutus? Traitor!" I was in Julius Ceaser's play, and I was Brutus's servant. Brutus and I became good friends. we played our roles like we had developed a father-son relationship. at the very end when we all came out to see Brutus dead, I was there too! I come out, captured, and I got to scream his name. it was my most emotional scene. The girl who played Brutus even chose me to be the one to close her eyes at the end of the play!!!! It was so much fun! Even though I had a small part, I played it to the fullest and was the comedy relief at some points. People came up to me afterward and told me they cried at the end bc of me and that I was their fav character. My director told me, "You. are. amazing." So I have a very fond place in my heart for Brutus, especially since this was my first year doing drama ever.

@rareresource Жыл бұрын

Unfortunately, 85% of our population are doing it on a daily basis. Some of them turned it into a full time career and proud of it.

@reniaesaddler8632 7 жыл бұрын

This is a major goal of mine. Working as a waitress provides a great challenge, and I'm not perfect at avoiding gossip, but I am getting ever better. Gossiping is cowardly and I'm not about that life. Finding more productive ways to vent and to respond to others' venting, well, it's a little way I hope to change the world. Encourage courage, not cowardice.

@tonyhall2772 7 жыл бұрын

I need to be more careful about the stuff that I share with people on Facebook.

@IgnacioAgramonte 7 жыл бұрын

YES, FOR SURE.

@susankovach8927 Жыл бұрын

WOW... so what we need to hear. It's so hard to figure out when you have a major problem. Sometimes it's not about helping someone but trying to find answers to what to do

@imommtube 6 жыл бұрын

Be a gate keeper of my mouth, a ward of my lips, so awesome, really thats my new pray thanks a lot

@christianedion5517 2 жыл бұрын

I ask in prayer for the Lord to fortify and cleanse my tongue everyday. This I believe to be a huge struggle for many of us. I have to practice thinking before I even open my mouth. Not my super power...

@vop4813 6 күн бұрын

Yes, remember that "gossib" has been thw one thing that has helped women to be safe around men for ages. You should always think if the info is actually helpfull and important as the creatoe of this video said!

@jinijinxer97 13 күн бұрын

This is the story of my life.m, Father. The older aunties who gossip is the reason why all youths stopped attending the prayer meetings & the reason why I left the church for 5 yrs. Edit : My Mum's lack of boundaries does n't help one bit either.

@BloodhawkProductions 8 жыл бұрын

downloaded all your videos, converted to one giant mp3... after i have an hour of silence when i wake up i play my massive Fr Mike mp3 with lord of the rings music playing quietly in the background. #quirkyconfessions. great video Fr Mike!

@jackgempler4902 7 жыл бұрын

Mezmerizer hahahaha that's Great

@maryhoover7860 3 жыл бұрын

This was so good and I really needed it. Forgive me God for this and change me Amen!!

@jordanmeans8312 7 жыл бұрын

Our words really do destroy relationships. I'm going to start taking a look at Psalms 141:3!

@JindyMarie05 8 жыл бұрын

Fr. Mike, do you have a podcast? I could listen to you all day! Thank you for pointing out things I wouldn't really consider "wrong." And thank you for referencing the Bible or alluding to biblical times; it really helps me when I do my bible journaling.

@AscensionPresents 8 жыл бұрын

Bulldogcatholic is a great resource and keep your eye out for podcasting features coming soon on AscensionPresents.com

@roniquebreauxjordan1302 7 жыл бұрын

soundcloud...bulldog Catholic

@thethreefriends3002 3 жыл бұрын

Definitely check out his bible on a year podcast!

@susankovach8927 Жыл бұрын

It really does make a differance when you break it down into the ways the conversation can go

@darthstructure7370 5 жыл бұрын

Man he is so spot on. If u wouldnt say it in front of the person ur talking about, u should not say it behind their back.

@TheJmlew11 8 жыл бұрын

I have recently have been involved in a conflict with an organization and words truly can be toxic and I have to say I have trouble with what I should say to others because so much goes around. I don't want to talk bad about people, but I have heard so many lies about other individuals and even myself. It's just difficult trying to explain it in a way that doesn't put the other person down. Prayers are needed!

@fatbones4life252 5 жыл бұрын

Great video done on an issue that goes mostly undetected. A lot of good saints get tangled up in the gossip web. Hurt people hurt people. We need healing and reconciliation. Thank you!! God bless you!!

@margottorr130 6 жыл бұрын

Father. Mike your wisdom is astounding,Holy Spirit shines from you And you have such a sense of humour in comparison to many priests i hope thats not gossip...

@St.ThereseOfLisieux 2 жыл бұрын

“Set a guard, oh Lord, before my mouth, a gatekeeper at my lips.” Psalm 141 verse 3

@mjohns908 Жыл бұрын

This is the video I needed in my feed today. There's been problems with a coworker, and the group discussion of these problems have made me uneasy as to whether it's gossip or not. Thank you Father Mike.

@joshuaehl1481 7 жыл бұрын

Wow I needed to hear this one... I am horrible about "just venting" and not doing it in a way that allow others to give me advice.

@Matyme 5 жыл бұрын

I always feel this need to "vent" I don't though I keep it all to myself. I don't have anyone that I can talk to about my problems that I've had over the years and this last few months it has gotten so much harder. I was this close to just "vent" on social media but I had seen the thumbnail for this video a few months ago but I avoided it because I thought that I could just not vent or gossip but today I had to just look it up to give me strength to not give in and I am so glad that I did! I have been renewed with your words Father Mike! I will say this prayer all day every day. Thank you and God bless you Father Mike!

@maranathawatch1618 6 жыл бұрын

Thank you Father Mike - this clears up that fine line of talking about someone to help them, or talking about them unfavourably to their harm. The later hurts them and ourselves rather than helping. Thank you for that insight. God Bless.

@Yt-wm1yd 6 жыл бұрын

Fr.mike like always what great message you give us...i do remember a prayer my mom always taught me in spansh "Cross of Jerusalem talk and respond for me calm the bad hearts that are against me" when I am involved in gossip I say the prayer in my mind and I kid you not but the person gets distracted or changes the subject!

@MissPixel22 4 жыл бұрын

This is probably the hardest one cuz everyone gossips

@adama5363 7 жыл бұрын

thank you for the verse in the Bible I really needed that I will pray daily thank you God bless

@puzz88 7 жыл бұрын

My sibling just got out of an abusive relationship and they vent to me often...but it is difficult to tell where the line is between venting about all the little everyday experiences of oppression/abuse and bashing their ex. I will try to pray that prayer/verse and for a way to share it with my sibling. Thanks for touching on the issue.

@bluej6800 3 жыл бұрын

That’s not venting, that’s gossiping, and it keeps them stuck, because all they do is gossip about the other person instead of solving their problem once and for all.

@icu1777 2 жыл бұрын

The concern of needing to run for your life (as many have to do) is real. I reached the conclusión that just professionals understand the danger of a toxic relationship.

@gfitz6001 Жыл бұрын

@@bluej6800 telling someone else that you’re being abused is NOT gossiping.

@bluej6800 Жыл бұрын

@@gfitz6001 of course, it isn’t! But if that’s all you ever do about it, then what do you call it?

@bluej6800 Жыл бұрын

@@gfitz6001 If all you continue to do is talk about the abuse and yet you stay in it, month after month, and just vent without ever doing anything about it, then (I think) it becomes gossiping. That’s what I was referring too. No one should be abused in any form. Did you read the paragraph that I was referring too when I made my comment? I agree it’s sometimes hard to tell the difference between venting and gossiping, and I just gave my opinion, I’m certainly no expert. Best of luck to you.

@brandiferebee9950 4 ай бұрын

❤thank you, God bless you 🙏 Amen

@wilburmcbride8096 6 ай бұрын

This is the best explaination I've heard on gossiping. Thanks! You break it down perfectly!

@cheraybisaya 2 жыл бұрын

Full of wisdom, thanks Father Mike!

@tomcunningham8231 4 жыл бұрын

Careful who you open up to

@kajomelimaelvitrev 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. We are very blessed to find this channel. Thank you, Fr Mike.

@kevinkempton6894 7 жыл бұрын

Awe, man, absolutely! I like the analogy - everyday betrayal. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me" - the gossip that changed a generation ;) Our words are the foundation of who we are and how we share our hearts! Thank you, Fr Mike!

@casscass1778 6 жыл бұрын

I love that "Our words are the foundation.....etc" It's simply stated and yet profound. Thank you. I am now writing it on a card and adding it to my wall, so i see it everyday. As a reminder to live more consciously.

@nataliabenoit4653 6 жыл бұрын

So venting is a reaching out and gossiping is recruiting to be on your side against that person....life changing!! sometimes in communion ill say put a stone on my tongue so i speak little, i think i read this in saint faustinas diary and i started saying it bcuz i got convicted reading james but james is right we all dragged Jesus to the cross so who am i to judge and be unmerciful that scripture gets me everytime like a knife thank you father i appreciate this in all u do as a preist

@geraldinegarcka5598 2 жыл бұрын

I think we all struggle with this. Sometimes if I felt I had a raw deal with someone I might vent to a close colleague and often it helps me feel better when the colleague tells me of others' similar experiences with this person. Having listened to Father, I need to think twice about this. This channel is so useful! Thank you Father!

@sherrycase6611 7 жыл бұрын

Fr Mike, Please do a video on proper dress for women going to church! I'm dressing modessly but would like to know your thoughts and guidelines on the subject. Thank you, Sherry 60-year-old Just covereted from no religion and made my Confirmation & 1st Holy Communion at the Easter Vigil !!!

@derekhandson351 6 жыл бұрын

Yay!

@tbhamdg 5 жыл бұрын

Ain't nobody got time for that!

@Name-le2cc 4 жыл бұрын

Welcome home sherr case

@okaminess 4 жыл бұрын

The only time anyone is allowed to dress me is at my funeral, thank you very much.

@user00578___ 4 жыл бұрын

@@okaminess hi, we didn't want to dress you 🤔 she were asking for advices only ;-) blessings !

@ncfamily4 Жыл бұрын

Thank you Fr. Mike for explaining that, to which we can help or hurt others, with a slip of the tongue, and can damage us spiritually as well. 🙏🙏🙏

@kittygartland5305 4 жыл бұрын

Wow !!!! You are really helping me see the things in my life I need to change about myself !!! Thank You !!!

@vanessagarcia7515 Ай бұрын

To all interested “truth with handles “ has an episode on gossip 20min or so- Catholic women. It’s a must to listen to

@sheilamurry9875 3 жыл бұрын

When I'm in a conversation and it's usually when someone is having a problem with someone else and I feel we are talking about the behaviors and we are trying to process and analyze the situation. I some point I will say "Lord I am not gossiping about this person I am concerned about the behaviors that is causing this person pain and suffering".

@Donna-cc1kt 2 жыл бұрын

Venting - I’m sharing. Gossip - I’m harming.

@tiff1622 Жыл бұрын

Thats such a succinct way to put it. I like it!

@arkenautgundlach2498 5 ай бұрын

Speculation is one thing, what I call the "garden variety gossip gospel" is like a pecking order of speculation int presumed truth and shows by the way the person is treated in all aspects of a persons life. Often just from hear say, lies and sometimes from actual mistakes. This closes that person off and even when being honest, the position is taken in most garden variety gossip situations those gossiping often start speculating what else a person may do, say and speculate into completely imaginary scenarios. Further closing a persons ability to communicate. Even worse when an adversary is constantly behind the scenes dredging things up whether true or not. It can make the person feel that they are not better than or cannot get better than any mistake ever made. The people talking get a soapbox and if that person actually has things to bring to the table that could be very helpful it will never be considered. That is why when I refer to The Garden Variety Gossip Gospel akin to chaff. Have a splendid day!

@marcihf9763 6 жыл бұрын

I try my best not to get involved in gossip because it can be very hurtful and damaging. At times I find myself getting involved in it (actually doing the gossiping or listening to it) and I always feel horrible afterwards.

@dorcas4035 2 жыл бұрын

@Marci HF true sometimes One is caught up in the middle! But am trying to be more cautious & i Can now differentiate friends who incite more gossips than others! So i try to mention often about gossip that am confessing often about gossip etc or atleast change the topic or only talk positive stuffs, try to talk on behalf of the non-present party.. its helping abit but hard.. otherwise avoid such people & pray for Them. Some you talk with & your spirit feel messed with!

@maureenirishrose 4 жыл бұрын

As much as I appreciate Fr. Mike’s other videos, I actually think this one is more confusing than helpful. It still seems to me that venting is just a more socially acceptable word for gossiping. Personally, I find Dave Ramsey’s definition of gossip more helpful than attempting to make a distinction between venting and gossiping, which are really the same thing. Dave defines gossip as “When a negative is discussed with anyone who can’t solve the problem.” I can understand that sometimes there is a need to talk about another person in order to solve a problem, but I wouldn’t call that venting. Instead I would call it problem solving, or perhaps seeking advice. Just my two cents, from a fellow sinner who struggles with gossip and knowing where to draw the line.

@magnolia8626 3 жыл бұрын

That's very interesting! I never looked at it that way. I do think that at times we need to talk to someone trusted (like mother or sister) just to get a load off our chest even though they can't solve the problem. Like sharing our feelings if someone mistreated us. Of course you should confront the person about their mistreatment too. Even venting can be excessive if we do it in front of everyone we know. Gossip is more like "airing someone's dirty laundry" that we have no business doing...ever.

@huyenvu851 2 жыл бұрын

@@magnolia8626 exactly! I do believe not every talk about other people has to be about solving problem. We should be able to express our frustration and seeking consolation in our trusted friends and family. Sometime, talking about other people problem in the spirit of concern for them can be good too. Gossiping is really when you talk about other's people business in a spirit of demeaning, creating opportunities for other people to attack the person.

@bizarte24_ 2 жыл бұрын

Venting is okay. Everyone has a right to do the same thing in whatever manner they choose also.

@bizarte24_ 2 жыл бұрын

@@huyenvu851 I agree. It doesn't solve the problem.

@bizarte24_ 2 жыл бұрын

I don't believe in gossip.

@relentlessrhythm2774 2 жыл бұрын

This needs to be spoken about more.

@meg359 6 жыл бұрын

Enjoyed this message! side note: Fr. Mike = 70% Jon Hamm + 15% Jason Sudeikis + 15% John Krasinski

@magnolia8626 3 жыл бұрын

Lol yes

@jennymccann8028 8 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for covering this topic! I 've been wondering about the difference between venting and gossiping for weeks, after reading something from Mother Angelica about gossip. She said something along the lines of "If it doesn't help the other person, don't say it." But that doesn't leave much room if another person is driving you crazy and you want to complain! So thank you for expanding on it, and thank you for finding a prayer for it. I know i'll be using it!

@susankovach8927 Жыл бұрын

In that case Jesus said Pray for your enemies. Otherwise maybe don't use the name if seeing answers

@irene_c-s Жыл бұрын

yes, we can express in a constructive manner so we can uplift others, our brethren. Peace be with you 🙏🏻

@Mark_Fazbear Ай бұрын

Gossiping about someone is like a small wound that is not visible but hurts.

@vstu7643 Жыл бұрын

When you said “mostly at church” -- you have that right 🤦🏼‍♀️ It actually happened “in” confession ….. and my reply was “holy ___” about four times - obviously, we both were wrong!

@iqgustavo Жыл бұрын

🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 01:56 🗣️ Everyday betrayal can manifest as gossip, sharing private details and wounds of others without their consent. 02:52 🚫 Gossip should not be disguised as venting or processing; genuine venting seeks support and care, while gossip recruits others against someone. 05:10 ❤️ Choose words that build up and help others, being cautious with what you share and seeking discretion and charity in conversations. 06:05 🙏🏼 Daily prayer: "Set a guard, O Lord, before my mouth, a gatekeeper at my lips" (Psalm 141:3) to speak only what unites and truly helps others. Made with HARPA AI

@mandy13770 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you. Needed to hear this. Thank you Father.

@amymarshall-comperatore381 6 жыл бұрын

I had a bad car accident and a friend from high school told people I was addicted to drugs. I was so hurt by that and have had trouble getting over it because she told so many people right before my class reunion. I found out the hard way she wasn't a true friend.

@leomarinak2783 2 жыл бұрын

Please forgive your friend, as we ask God for forgiveness.

@kendraheard1097 4 ай бұрын

IT WAS ALSO A BLESSING IN DISGUISE...YOU GOT TO SEE HER TRUE INTENTIONS AND FEELINGS FOR U!!..HAD SHE NOT DID THAT U WOULD HAVE BEEN FRIENDS WITH A FAKE PERSON FOR POSSIBLY YEARS ON

@naruhina1997 8 ай бұрын

I don't gossip and I rarely vent... so... when I did vent to someone I trusted, I realized they started to spread it as gossip... I don't vent to that person anymore. I'm friendly with him still... but he's no longer my friend.

@plewis1353 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing such a timely message today for me from God. ❤

@mattlabishak4340 4 жыл бұрын

Who doesn't need to hear this information? Great job Fr. Mike. 141 3 (and part of 4) is now on a post-it-note attached to my work monitor. It is weird how this is in my feed when I need it most.

@DontKillAnts 6 жыл бұрын

I've always been told gossiping is wrong but I often have a hard time realizing the line between gossip and talking about somebody else. For instance, if I heard that so-and-so was pregnant out of wedlock, spreading this information would definitely be gossip. But what if I am speaking to one of my friends about a mutual friend who has behaved in a negative light, for instance, changing their character due to an unhealthy relationship, is this gossip? I want to refrain from gossiping but I just have a lot of trouble knowing where the boundaries lie.

@bluej6800 3 жыл бұрын

Yes, simply put, if it isn’t your story to tell, it’s gossip!

@Timst3R 3 жыл бұрын

As Father Mike says...ask yourself three questions. 1. Is it true? 2. Is it good? 3. Is it useful. At that point, you should have your answer :)

@lauraaah.4343 3 жыл бұрын

@@bluej6800 I don’t understand this. Sometimes I need opinions on how to respond so i’ll ask my sister on advice on a situation. How is that gossiping?

@bluej6800 3 жыл бұрын

@@lauraaah.4343 you already know the answer to your question, just turn it around as if you were on the receiving end of being discussed, how would that feel to you. That’s all I can say because I don’t know you or the details of what you’re referring too.

@bluej6800 3 жыл бұрын

@@lauraaah.4343 maybe you don’t need advice, could it be that, that’s your way to gossip.

@alifeofjoy29 Жыл бұрын

This was a GREAT teaching on this subject. God bless you!

@francessheeran7371 5 ай бұрын

Thank you!

@sylvianwachukwu7576 2 жыл бұрын

its Fr mike saying ain't nobody got time for that for me😂😂😂😂... thank you Fr... you are always such a delight and I learn a whole lot from your messages..

@pricillas34 3 жыл бұрын

Full disclosure, I stumbled on this channel “randomly” and am a witch. But the messages on the channel are so beautiful so I’ve been tuning in.

@susankovach8927 Жыл бұрын

Lovely! Please ask God how to leave it behind. Jesus loves you. We can't serve God's

@nishahignojozguzman-ng1fv 2 ай бұрын

I got so tired of this girl from my kids school gossiping about me to my husband. She said things that aren't true and my husband said she flirts with him a lot. This has been going on for 8 years and the stories always change. If they were true, I'd own, I wouldn't deny it. She is Italian Catholic and just showed up recently at my Baptist church. I went to her house to ask why, she wouldn't come to her door, then God brought her to my place of worship so I went up to her there. She keeps running away. I'm guilty of venting to her face, rt in my Pastor's office. She started saying her stories. I had to, yes I should have filtered it through God's word. I've had it though. My husband and two friends tell me things she says. She thinks gossiping about me will make her look better. Lord please bring peace back to my heart and bless her with revelation. I love you Lord, thou are mighty and you know my heart. I will trust You and endure, Amen 🙏🏻

@late921 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for this, it helps me to understand why it feels so crappy when others spread your info. I like to be open and share my business but lately i am seeing that it is being used to judge me.

@ZacharyWierschem 8 жыл бұрын

Posing question: What is the best course of action when people are gossiping to you?

@ZacharyWierschem 8 жыл бұрын

+Kevin Mccullouch That's what I was thinking and it does help a bit. It seems to me the difficult part is having the courage to confront the person gossiping to you, and there is a time and place for that as with everything. I've been put in that situation before and thought others shedding a light on it would help out as well! Peace and Blessings!

@joshuachristensen8161 8 жыл бұрын

+Zachary Wierschem your are exactly right about the need for courage in the situation. Pray to the Holy Spirit for the courage Zachary. It will be given to you. God Bless.

@TiffTheTyrant 8 жыл бұрын

Since this has happened to me pretty badly at my previous workplace-here is what I focused on. If people are gossiping about you, that means they have nothing better to focus on. They're boring. If you're the of focus of their lives, that says a lot about the state of their own lives.

@AscensionPresents 8 жыл бұрын

Thanks for your question, Zachary! We've added it to our list of #askfrmike requests! Please know of our prayers and pray for all of us at Ascension Press if you think of it!

@aaronclark2599 7 жыл бұрын

how about posing it as a question in order to get them thinking, perhaps thereby opening the door to some deeper yet friendlier discussions? for example, how about asking one of these (while looking and sounding genuinely curious about their perspectives)? "how does that saying go? is it 'those who gossip to you will also gossip about you'?" "how long is it okay to talk about someone behind their back before it becomes gossip, exactly?"

@Aeizium Жыл бұрын

I am proud that I never betrayed my country, I sought diplomacy and cooperation. Any who says otherwise is gossiping. I know many around me betrayed the country for money's sake.

@Aeizium Жыл бұрын

People vent to me all the time. I am tired of the game.

@debbie4503 6 ай бұрын

I used to have a tee shirt that said, "Lord, please put your arm around my shoulder and your hand across my mouth". And being on the receiving end, I used to go to dinner's at two different sister's homes. I'm single so for birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, you name it. Then both of them had something to say that I heard. I believe they meant for me to hear it. Now I spend all Holidays and Holy Day's alone. It cut that deep. I do not even go to their homes for visits. I will talk to them on the phone and one keeps coming to my home. And I really wish she wouldn't. I'm guilty on both sides. But after it destroyed me, I should know better than to engage in gossip myself. I'm going to pray that Jesus will help me not to gossip. Even if I think I am "venting". Nobody cares except our Lord Jesus. I will start taking my worries to Him.

@JourneytoEmmaus 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for explaining this lesson.

@ryanmccormick7088 2 жыл бұрын

These are subjects not super fresh on my mind because I’ve been isolated for so long. I know that gossip in any meeting of people is working in reverse to an effective organization. When are around people, we need to only engage in positive, uplifting conversations. That brings one and all up to a higher level.