I like rocking back and forth in public and I hate when I get told to stop. It's to the point where I scorn the perception of our natural selves and behaviours as "socially unacceptable". Society needs to wake up ASAP.

I love that, "... and I'm probably just using it to get away with something."

I'm really glad I found this channel, I only just now found out that what I've been dealing with all my life has been frequent meltdowns. I had thought that all the noise in my brain was just my anxiety, but I never thought to think that perhaps it was me just being overstimulated. I got to the point recently that I began to dissociate instead of dealing with the overstimmulation. Thanks for providing such a great resource.

Hi Paul, the dignity with which you speak about difficult topics is wonderful. It makes people feel much more comfortable with the way they behave.

I do a lot of stretching and never realise knew why I did it until I consciously observed myself and I do a lot of things to let my mind, body & soul feel relaxed having down various things.

can you do a video on how to be more proficient at putting sentences together in thought and then saying them rather than having to, often, speak and think at the same time

Do you find that you find you're ultimate happiness in helping and loving others? (which i's incredibliy diffcult for us with aspergers based on the huge scale of rejection we face) I'm slowly learning this and developing a great empathy for people who struggle with similar issues.. it feels like it gives me a genuine reason to want to be here. In that i realise there in fact IS a bigger purpose for being on this wild planet called earth and it makes me happier than any self fulfilment ever could.

So clear. Ha I thought I was the only one who played air drums (and air guitar).

First video of you I see and I immediately hit every positive buttons I could! This is gold for people 'newer' to the fact that they are autistic (just been found at 35...). I LOVE this sentence: [ Finding a happy medium socially appropriated]. I was struggling between I can't just be my self in public, and I don't want to go back being totally someone else like I used to before the pandemy either. I didn't know how to find a confort zone between the two, and these words just planted a seed in every aspect of my life: Find a HAPPY MEDIUM. A way to be me but without the other noticing. This is so perfect! Thank you! Getting back to work on my adaptation plan to go back to work (after watching a bunch of your others videos!)

I think Stimming is more a reaction to alleviate anxiety that people on the spectrum experience. That is why you see it more noticeably in the individuals on the low-functioning end rather than the high-functioning like Asperger's. If i get very anxious i often will tap my feet on the floor repeatedly when sat down this can stimulate me and will alleviate my anxiety.

Beautiful poster of that lion, I am jealous

Thanks for the idea!!! I feel stupid for never thinking of that myself...sometimes i am so clueless... i talk a lot...just not to anyone else. Its my coping when trying to shut out all the input to concentrate on a specific task

I often get tied up in knots trying to say something really simple. Happily I'm also getting really good at noticing when this is happening, so I can curtail my anger at myself, which comes out of frustration. Mostly I do tapping, which began as also playing imaginary drums with my pen/ pencil on my school books. It was nice to hear someone else does a drum thing!

Only just discovered your videos, they help so much and I can so relate! Ah I did not know that this is called stimming. Oh yeah, I have those headphones in public too, mainly for listening audiobooks or educational youtube videos. That puts some kind of barrier between me and the noise that surrounds me and it serves as some kind of an anchor so I don't feel too weird when surrounded by so many strangers in the bus or train.. My dad absolutely wanted me to behave "normal" - there was no room to be weird, and he used all possible methods for that like shaming, screaming, physical violence etc. He was so scared, about drawing attention in a bad way. This was reinforced from where he came from, he fled the country to escape a totalitarian Communist regime, and if you misbehave in a communist country, you can go to jail for that, right? So for example, as a kid, I once just played with my spittle, move my mouth in weird ways and my dad was terrified. I remember him asking me with a shaky voice, if "it" made me do it or if I was fooling around. Believe me, I NEVER did that again. And a lot of other behaviours I just stopped even if it was not all that weird. When in public basically in a constant freeze mode. I by now have established through observation, what is socially appropriate and what is not. The parenting style from my dad reinforced that, since he was so unpredictable and could have so much rage, that scared the shit out of me as a kid.. Once thing however, I never managed to learn, and that is socialising. The one example, Prof. Tony Attwood mentioned in one of his videos: Two kids meeting on a beach, normally they just bond and become possible buddies, right? And I am to this day still puzzled over that. How do they do that? I need at least 3-4 meetings until I open up a bit more. And then, how do you hold a conversation, how do strangers just chat away like that? I am usually very silent, not saying much. If I talk about something, then it is about things I am interested in. So often the conversation just dies away, and I don't know what else to say.

Hello, I’ve watched a handful of your videos since yesterday and you do a great job articulating the various nuances you experience. Were you always this insightful into yourself ? It’s brilliant you came up with various gimmicks to make life easier , but that requires a lot of insight into yourself. Recently I had my 18 yo son dx because he has most of the features you’ve described throughout your childhood and life. The Dr diagnosed him with a social learning disability and not autism because she said he has insight into himself and people on the spectrum do not. I was surprised as I’ve always thought of him as aspie-ish. Perhaps you cover this topic in another video ? I’d like to hear your thoughts on this. Thanks 😊

My 2 different types of headphones ( Samsung Galaxy Buds Pro, Sony 1000xm4) are my favourite thing besides my doggies and changed my life when I discovered I could wear them WHENEVER ( 24/7) I liked and no one would question it! Very soothing, comforting and having them on helps keeps my energy for me more. I've always done the stretching thing for my chronic pain but this 'bopping' to music thing is genius!!!

Hello! I've just found you whilst seeking help for me to manage my sons verbal stimming. I am hypersensitive to sound and movement myaelf, and my son makes noise and moves constantly. I am interested in how you handle auditory and visual overstimulation yourself and any tips you may have about how to help him manage his Stim. He is 10 years old. Thanks!! PS. Your videos are extremely clear and helpful. Thank you!

I really like all your videos! You work at a camp? That makes sense, you're way better at socializing than me! It shows. Please don't stop making videos! I enjoy them a whole lot.

Hi my intelligent friend. First I want to thank you for your informative videos. The way you explain things is amazing, so clear and orderly. I also have a request please. My son who is almost 4, has been diagnosed with autism. He is verbal, though has difficulty with language, etc. He has lots of echolalia. What do you think my partner and I need to do to help my son as best as we can. He is a bright and lovely boy and we really love to know your perspective on this, so that we can be a helping hand to him, rather than an obstacle to his adventures in life (for example due to lack of communications or misunderstandings). What do you wish your parents had done differently when you were growing up? Could you make a video on that please?

These are genius tips/ideas! I hum sometimes to no particular tune at all...but it just helps me to feel focused or something when trying to figure something out. I guess it helps me feel busy too when I'm not busy, maybe? Not really sure. It's the only "stim" that I can remember being called out on by someone as an adult. Apparently the other person was annoyed by my humming (it was difficult for me to not hum after that, as I recall). After watching several Aspie videos, I've realized I have several stims. I was never aware that they were "unusual" or that the general population didn't do these things...LOL! I just did them--in my own world🌎. No one pointed them out to me as weird or unacceptable.

Roller skating helps me SO much. My brain works better in every way and there’s a bit of the “ foreigner “ effect comes with it. Yes, it’s uncommon to see a 53 year old woman on skates pushing a cart at Walmart, but it’s accepted body movement in public and I come out unscathed emotionally. Also, it’s SO fun.

Curious to know where you are in the world. Love the headphones thing, you can get away with so much more.

WOW!! Thank you so much!!

Great video as always!

Omg!!!!!💡!! I am getting me a pair of head phones!!! Ty🌺😁 great video!!!

You are great! I think I love you!!

Love and best wishes from Wales.Take care

Thank you rather encitefull

Excellent!

I twist shirt tails, I'm always messing with stuff with my hands. Soft material ran across and between my fingers calms me. The more stressed I am the more I do it.... Stemming I suppose? I can't control it and struggle to hide it in public. I have carpal tunnel in both wrists from years of this behavior. :(

I stim by singing. Recently I was quietly stim-singing, without realizing it, and I was very kindly asked to stop, as it was distracting the person speaking and in a play rehearsal it's important for the director to focus on directing. One of my good friends jumped in and said, " My family paces (his family is known for their habit of pacing). She sings.". He was so used to my stimming that it is not though to be unusual. I didn't realize until recently that I sang because I was stimming and It never occurred to me that it was unusual, so it never occurred to me to change it or hide it.

You are so, so handsome. And delightful to listen to.

great video, thank you. Very useful to plan ahead with a set of stimming tools that can be socially acceptable while on Earth. I believe the abundant need to stim is sourced from a deep need (for the Autistic) to be in a natural, healthy setting, and when the autistic is NOT in a natural healthy setting (e.g. he/she is inundated with unhealthy EMFs, noises, smells, and other city toxins) then the stimming helps reset neuronal firing from chaotic to coherent. This gives a more peaceful state. (reference: Guardians of the Blue Planet, chapter on 'Brain Design 101'). Peace.

I was visiting my sister and mother for Thanksgiving. I was standing in the kitchen. My sister and mother were sitting at the kitchen table. We got talking about my autism. I talked about how people misunderstood my body language. This caused my sister to ask if I was anxious. I told her no and asked why. She told me that my stimming looked like I was nervous and anxious. I told her it actually helps to keep me calm. That was the told opposite of what she thought. She was trying to figure out why I was anxious and how she could calm me down. In the past, I have had people behave very oddly to me. I'm now wondering if my body language was sending the wrong signal to them. I would tell them how I was feeling but they seem to treat me like I was lying. It was very confusing.

I would play with my hair but it was really cramping up my fingers because I'd do it all the time. I literally wouldn't even realize I was doing it until my hands hurt, and throughout life I was getting bald spots. I bought a necklace I can take out into the world and fidget with, it's such a comfort to have and it's much easier on the fingers and hair! And it's pretty, I get compliments on it ☺️ I was taught that I just had a really bad habit, but a habit doesn't really explain the level of compulsion I feel in playing with my hair or necklace. Like if someone tries to help me "break the habit" and stop me I get actively upset sometimes and my train of thought is completely derailed. It feels good to know I'm not alone!

A request.. I was wondering whether you experience depression and if so, do you have any tips or techniques you find helpful in managing it? Always looking for resources to add my toolbox. Thank you.

I wonder if this was why I listened to music almost e every chance I got (as a kid and teenager). I was always so obsessed with music and it brings me to a different world, and it still does. I didn't notice that I was stimming, but when I think about it, I often tap my fingers on my knee while listening to it. I can recall tapping my fingers the last time I felt anxious while driving, because I don't like other drivers looking at me or getting upset.

When I was 14 I was taking 20 units at the local college and I remember I used to rock a lot in class for comfort, except at the time I had no idea why I was doing it, just that it felt right. Been a perpetual leg-shaker my whole life, about 240bpm. Looking back it really all falls into place. Have also done the "if I wear headphones, no one can tell" thing.

PLUS PEOPLE WILL LEAVE YOU ALONE WITH EARBUDS... (I wear earmuffs when it’s 🥶, people leave me alone more so)

In an office, you can just rock lightly in your chair or swing around in your chair. Headphones on and eye contact mostly with the monitor. :D I actually think a lot of Aspies can survive in an office setting (depending on the type of job, of course).

Very helpful

Wow, that was very much similar to ways I have figured out I work, too.

okay.. this is brilliant strategy :D

It just makes me feel confined, like a script...I don't care if it draws attention in a negative way, since they should feel fine to say and act the way they want to as well.

I use the muscle clenching and excessive stretching to cover up my dancing-stemming. I shift my weight from foot to foot, or sway, so often, without even realizing it 😂

Hmm, I seem to use my eyes to access my memories too. A lot of times it will take me a moment to accurately recall something; because oftentimes I find that when ask me a question, I will look up while making sure that I am accurately recalling a memory, and they will get impatient and ask another question before I can answer (or they will make a comment or something, which just distracts me from my thinking). This is also partially because I get nervous when people are looking at me and asking a question, while looking me in the eye intently.

could you maybe talk about stimming that escalates to a person you love hitting themselves aggressively when it does escalate to that...I know I am an individual living with complex PTSD so when my loved one escalaes hich has only happened 2 times out of many years of being in each others lives, I feel like I handle the situation well but anything like loud noises or hitting triggers me in my own trauma responses... I agree stimming is natural and I stim everyday with my ADHD, I would love some guidance on how do we as loved ones help de-escalate a situation where self-hitting is happening.. Thank you times a million!

I'm not sure if you're musical or not, but do you find you constantly have music going through head? This goes on majority of the time for me and I am much of the time, rocking or tapping, whistling, and often chattering my teeth into rhythmic beats to the music in my head. I am sure it must look odd to people but to me it's just normal. I agree the earphones probably make it look less odd.

Have you used discreet stim toys? I think it increases our options which is useful when we're expected not to wear headphones. The way I stim discreetly includes flexing muscles, twitching facial muscles, clenching teeth, making gagging sounds, and jerking my head. Not that I want to. My dentist wouldn't be happy to see my teeth wear out.

Agree! I use headphones in public to stim in public without raising eyebrows.🎧 and I feel so mutch more relaxed when get to my destination. When I'm alone, I stim like crazy from rocking, hand flapping and so on.

As a mom, my son enjoys shaking his head side to side... At home it is fine. At school is a bit different. Do you suggest me talking to him and make him aware of it and give him earphones? I want him to feel as comfortable and confident as possible. He is 7 now... P.s I find your videos very helpful to get some insight. Thanks for sharing!

Hi, I am reaching out for help for my 10-year-old son. He is stimming by making sounds and whistling. Which is obviously quite distracting for other students in his class. Does anyone have some ideas what he could do instead? Whistling without sound maybe? don't know much about stimming, but do you thing it is possible to kind of switch stimming by sounds to stimming by movement? I am happy to hear any advice. Thanks!

It seems you are very concious about your stimming? Or have learned yourself to be concious about it? I'm new on the spectrum (51), and for the moment I'm focused on stimming. What is it, do I stim, what are my stims? It seems I stim a lot, but rarely concious about it. But that might change now when I start to focus on what it is. I was at first confused, cause many discriptions of stimming, and what most people know of it, is the real extreme stimming, wild handflapping, and such, which I don't do. Thanks for your video.

I'm not diagnosed autistic (yet), but have always listened to music, and "airdrummed" with my fingers, probably on my thighs or whereever my hands are. It also seems very subtle, if you need to drum

I am not on the spectrum but I have anxiety and attention problems. I don’t stim “normally” I stim to show my emotions and calm down. I’ve always had a hard time expressing my emotions with words, but I move a lot so I use stimming to show my emotions and stuff.

My thing is almost incessant finger-tapping, which I have been told off about. Alone I find myself doing it a Lot! I can see how it would annoy others. I find invisible and silent ways of doing it when out in the world.

I learned as a teen that not only is it good to have stimming behaviors that are ok to use in public (like filing my nails or tapping my feet, but that its good to switch what I am doing every so often. If I do only one thing for a long period of time its more likely to become annoying to someone.

I'm deathly afraid to stim in public so I end up clutching my phone so tightly against myself that I shake. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by a waiting room for example that I really have to try to stim and it will bring me back from the edge of panic. When I stim in a waiting room I just very subtly tap my toes inside my shoes... I stim constantly unless I'm asleep, in public/with someone or for some reason when there's a thunder storm I don't stim!

I always lean on a wall or a chair to not rock but sometimes i cant help myself

I think my adult husband has asperger's syndrome. He has agreed to be tested. I keep reading about stemming . Could that be rubbing his bare feet together every night when we watch TV? Possibly? I've recently noted it. I always thought just a habit

I think that squeezing a soft rubber ball and switching hands periodically would be a great and healthy way to stimulate.

I squeeze my feet in a pattern, sometimes to music because nobody can see them

I'm 28 and just now finding out. Glad I'm not older but omg me me me me me. This is all me hahhshs

When I get the urge to pace in public, I try to do a slow motion version of it to make it look like im impatiently waiting for something lol. Works best at a bus stop for obvious reasons lol

i get tangled in the wires

i want to meet you in person one day

Cool approach, that it's normal human behavior but not socially acceptable. so would you say that a NT person can do stuff like that in private and not be considered aspie? it's that aspies need to do it in public and can't refrain it that defines stimming?:) because i love and feel a need to move to the music in my ears, whether it's air drumming on the street a bit low key if there is a lot of people nearby, or singing the songs out loud. I wouldn't normally constitute it to stimming, it's just that the music gets me going, where as in your example you just need to be moving around. Nevertheless it's interesting to see how during board game dinners and such I am the only one of my friends that feels the need to like moon walk or kind of dance around a bit when music is playing. my friends mainly just sit down on their asses and focuses on talking or whatever ^^

When I walk from the trainstation to home after a workday, I always stim by listening to music while lip-dubbing and flapping my hands and arms.

Do u know or have u heard of adult males stimming by touching the head of their penis with thumb and first finger for long periods of time while reading a book or looking at their phone? I have suspected my x husband may have a mild form of autism and I believe this is how he stims. He does this when home on the couch when reading or watching tv. I don’t think he does it anywhere else and he’s not attempting to initiate sex when doing it. We recently got divorced and I’ve been looking into possible ASD diagnosis for myself but I notice he also has a lot of autistic traits. Please make a video on the subject if possible. Thank you!

I just openly stim in public. I don't care what people think of it.

I'm not on the spectrum, from what I can tell, but I think it's really sad that people feel they have to disguise or avoid stimming. This is society's problem, not the individual's!

Since I started watching your videos I had the impression that you are quite a nervous person, because of so many movements. On the other hand, according to what you say in many videos you seem to be worried that people could think that you are crazy. Why?? Nothing in your behaviour or what you say could make a person think you are crazy. Rather the opposite. I am a NT person (I guess). Cheers!

'Stimming is just normal human behaviour'

I have ADHD and have to watch my behavior in public thanks for the tips

The Fidget Cube is pretty discreet. Do you think it works well for autistics too? Neurotypicals stim too. It's called fidgeting. www.antsylabs.com/products/fidget-cube

I don't give a fuck what other people think, as long as Im OK thats all that matters. Whoever can't accept it ain't my people simples. I'm 42 I'm tired

Since I had been following your videos in the last few months, your videos are very inspiring. Whenever you have the time to check out my videos, please let me know what you think.

I LOVE MY EARBUDS😭😭😭 except when it's hot outside

I have a friend that played the ait drums when he enjoyed music, it was REALLY unsettling the first time I saw it, something about the lack of rhythm together with the robotic stuff movement really made me sick to my stomach in a really wierd way. Super strange how I interpreted it as a threat to something.

I play drums by making beats with my teeth. Certain teeth have a different percussive feel that I use for the snare, kick, toms and cymbals.

Something I love to do is to jiggle my knee up and down very fast. It's incredibly relaxing and fulfilling. I've occasionally seen others do this, always men for some reason, and no-one seems to think it's odd when they do it. But, with me I often get asked if I want to go to the toilet!!! LOL.

I rub my hands, with a chess queen in my palm. No one likes it (except me, as it lets my drain intense emotions without harming anyone), especially my mother. But I learned not to care. What other people are doing usually doesn't interest me that much.

If I need to stim in public, I don’t try to hide it. I call it guerrilla stimming. I figure if I keep doing it, people will have to get used to it. Also I do the air drums thing, I would love to learn to play, but can’t at the moment.

OMG PPL HAVE ASKED ME IF MY ASPIE PARTNER IS ON DRUGS😡😡😡 RUDE

lol whats stimming it sounds wrong

Thissss sounds a bit ABA oriented. You're community will eventually adjust and not care how you're acting, anything different seen the first few times will always get looks.