When Julie said that we can heal our insecure attachment, I felt tears sting my eyes because it's just so hard! As a woman with anxious attachment, this has been one of the biggest demons I've had to fight. I can't wait to heal and be rid of it.
@Dd949497 ай бұрын
It's so easy to label men as avoidant and women as anxious but what she doesn't break down is that if nobody is completely secure then most couples will trigger each other in opposing directions simply because 2 anxious or 2 avoidant don't really work. There's no glue. So even if you think you know your style it also depends on your partner and it can ebb and flow. It likely takes a good therapist to really identify the cycle because 99% of the time we aren't aware of what we're doing in the moment - self and other. Our primary relationship is our existential anchor in the world. If we grew up insecurely attached then we won't know the difference as an adult - our dysfunction, whether mild or serious - will feel normal. Further, attachment injuries in adulthood can also disrupt our style. This theory is not simple by any means. It's the physics of human relationships.
@adriennemyers42584 ай бұрын
Well said, so many great insights in this comment! I wanted to add about the gender thing, as a fearful-avoidant woman, I’ve been in relationships with more anxious men than avoidant. But there may also be broader trends in parenting around emotions and masculinity that make men develop more avoidant tendencies. Just speaking from the collection of anecdotes I’ve heard from men over the years that they were expected to be emotionally shut down and independent, moreso than their female peers, and how that’s often perpetuated in male friendships.
@AVega-rx4pxАй бұрын
How We Love is another wonderful book along these same lines.
@alexandracristea19919 ай бұрын
The example with the avoidant and anxious attachment is so on point! It feels like my partner and I. Good learning curve 😅
@EriPages9 ай бұрын
Who is the anxious between u too? And hypothetically, would u be more attracted or less attracted if it were swapped between u too?
@ValeriaLipovetsky9 ай бұрын
Glad it was helpful!
@alexandracristea19919 ай бұрын
@@EriPages I’m the anxious attachment type. Interesting though because I see it’s different depending on the relationship. In the past I’ve been the avoidant in certain circumstances…
@EriPages9 ай бұрын
@@alexandracristea1991 interesting My assumption was the female is typically the anxious type, not always, but only when she really likes her guy
@nevie81589 ай бұрын
So beautiful this is. You have a pure heart for this podcast, it’s unbelievable in helping people❤
@ValeriaLipovetsky8 ай бұрын
thank you so much 🙏🏻🥹
@richmckeemusic4 ай бұрын
Great interview! The book is absolutely amazing! My favourite interview I’ve heard with her so well done 👏
@arose75148 ай бұрын
Privet Valeria, this was such amazing content. Thank you for the good work, effort and personal honesty! As a woman I too have some similar background and have developed avoidant style as attachment. I truly desire connection, am overwhelmed by my loneliness (especially now, so thank you for the timing of this release, I needed to hear this) it’s inspiring that you’ve managed to build a family and life and it gives me hope. Thank you ❤ love and light
@obsessedlaurel47268 ай бұрын
Such a great episode! Made me cry, frankly speaking
@allisonavila35808 ай бұрын
I NEEDED this video right now. Gods timing. Thanks Val ❤
@ValeriaLipovetsky8 ай бұрын
❤️❤️❤️
@zsofiaendrody74879 ай бұрын
I’m 20 minutes in and this conversation is so valuable! ❤ thank you for bringing it to us! Your questions and comments are so good! :)
@ValeriaLipovetsky8 ай бұрын
this means everything 🥹❤️ thank you for watching!
@user-cs4fg7bh4r8 ай бұрын
oh I just love that idea of looking to a relashionships as moments not a one junk!
@valeria-mb3sy8 ай бұрын
just 10 minutes into the podcast and already loving it! 💓
@carolinevandelden68848 ай бұрын
Her voice is so calming! What an amazing episode!
@ValeriaLipovetsky8 ай бұрын
glad you enjoyed it!!
@isabelmualdri9 ай бұрын
I love this ❤
@ValeriaLipovetsky8 ай бұрын
thank you!
@mariel.garcia4 ай бұрын
I’m wondering how they even got married without recognizing this attachment dynamic during the dating stage?
@acd11683 ай бұрын
Because they chose to listen to their emotions versus the red flags. Which is something a lot of people do and then they later find out maybe the dynamic isn’t very healthy
@MohidilYunsaliyiva9 ай бұрын
❤❤❤❤❤❤
@ValeriaLipovetsky9 ай бұрын
❤❤
@user-ks3ol3lw3b4 ай бұрын
This is why the lesbian divorce rate is so high. Gay marriage just became a thing, and already they're bailing out on each other. Two anxious people stuck in one house together is a recipe for disaster.