The biggest mistake we parents do is try to shield our children from the challenges to Christianity. Challenges are healthy. You must be able to defend the gospel IMHO. We need to be honest about those areas we are uncertain and be ready to explain that non-Christians have their own faiths too. They are simply ignorant to the fact they too must believe in something that is yet to be proven scientifically. Some of the best Christian music is written about that type of struggle.

She had been told for fear based reasons to "stay away from so much". That is not a healthy approach. I'm a musician and a very curious one at that. I try to learn as much as I can about opposing world views. She should feel free to explore, including a Christian perspective that isn't as closed minded as the one she grew up in. After over 40 years of looking into multiple world views, I'm still in the faith. I hope she keeps searching with an open mind.

She says she didn’t even know who Martin Luther was!! Don’t these folks go to school?? I’ve seen a few of these sorts of videos now and I’m afraid I don’t recognise the Christianity they seem to have been in.

So sad. I loved her early records that really ministered to me. I had her same questions and became familiar with Josephus and others. I took my questions to the Lord and after further research became even more convinced of Jesus as Messiah and the Word as true. God is big enough to handle our questions and struggles!

Personally my biggest frustration with music at church is modern contemporary Christian music is nauseating vapid. It has no real depth and most of the time "me" or "my" is the key word in most choruses. It doesn't inspire me at all and is often very self centered, so it's not surprising musicians are losing theirs too.

This saddens me so much. I only recently discovered Audrey's music and have been blessed by it beyond measure. I thought I had found someone who truly understood how I felt about God and was able to express it in music better than anyone else. Her story I have heard too many times. America is cursed by these closed fundamentalist bubbles that, although well meaning, produce mentally crippled adults. It is totally alien to my experience. I was raised by Christian parents who valued education highly and encouraged me to read widely. I studied Biology at universlty before becoming a science teacher, and my circle of friends throughout this time were all atheists. I pursued a personal spiritual journey which eventually led me to Christ at the age of 30. I hope that Audrey will one day return to singing songs of praise, and to sing them from the heart, in the realisation that God is not an evil monster who requires us to "obey the rules", but someone who loves us with no strings attached and simply wants us to receive his love,

I know a million reasons to leave the faith, but there is one thing I cannot leave and that is the love of my friend Jesus who owned nothing and was rejected.Without that love I am a shipwreck.Thank you Audrey for your music which was a positive in my life.

Deconstructing used to be called apostasy. I don't see what was wrong with the word apostasy.

i wonder why would anyone forbid the reading if Josephus? That's even the secular historian who proved there was such a person as Jesus who was worshipped by His followers.

I'm trying to be compassionate towards people that had the nerve to be Christian leaders when they didn't know what they believed. The Apostle John would say "they went out from us, but they did not really belong to us." Still, I'm trying. But if we learn nothing else from this, let's learn that making kids our hero worship leaders is a very bad idea.

When my wife died at a young age her music 'abide with me', 'it is well with my soul' and 'how can i keep from singing' were the songs that got me through. Later it was 'Nothing to Fear' when the pains were creeping back. Now i see and hear a different soul in her song "Better". There are many things out there but only God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost is the TRUTH. "THINK OF JUDGEMENT AFTER DEATH".

I’m sure you don’t remember, but I got to meet you at a chicago concert over a decade ago. Not long after, your music had a great impact on my soul during the very hardest moments of my life. Your voice carried me through suicidal ideation and deep physical pain. Even if you aren’t making Catholic music anymore (which I do miss of course) please continue to bless us with your music! You have a gift, and maybe now it’s time for you to touch a whole new audience with the melodic groanings of a restless heart pursuing meaning and purpose. We love you no matter what your religion! 💛

Wow... in my protestant denomination we were always taught to read and consider everything, that our beliefs could stand up to any scrutiny. I'm thankful for that.

She is right in a way. Churches directing people away from scripture as the ultimate authority leads to a bizarre, ritualistic, & thoughtless faith. But, it's a shame that (it sounds like) she has denied Christ as the Way, the Truth, and the Life as a result. If the latter is true, then she needs to repent and run into the embracing arms of Jesus, who is the only one that can save. Ask the hard questions, submit to the truth of scripture, and worship God with your mind (in addition to your heart).

Aww. I was just starting to discover her songs. Life is too unpredictable

This is so incredibly sad to me. I'm heartbroken by this. I was raised in the church and I was never "forbidden" from reading other literature, authors, etc. I was taught apologetics, reason, and critical thinking. I'm sad to hear that these former voices of faith turn away before testing the truth with these tools in their "toolbox" so to speak. All the hardest questions in life find an answer, bedrock, and meaning in the Word of God and His unchanging truth. I sincerely and deeply hope that all who have deconstructed find that the end of their journey ultimately leads them back home.. I've been through incredible hardship, and for me, my faith is what held me together through all the chaos and pain life has brought. I have studied other religions and I have tasted the "promises" of the world, and it's all empty and fleeting--nothing holds up outside of the One True, Almighty God, and the Word He has given us. May the truth always win.

Right at the beginning when she talked about what is hidden. EVE jumped into my mind. She was also shown and told things that were forbidden and she fell for it. Same story here. May God have mercy on us all.

God is big enough to handle our doubts and to walk us through them - IF we go to Him with them. I don't say this to criticize or judge anyone, but hopefully to encourage those who might find themselves in similar spiritual turmoil. It can be even more depressing to one who's suffering to find so much 'company' among the ranks of those who once inspired us... I went through a crisis of faith many years ago precipitated by some traumatic events. I'm thankful for that time now - because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will never go through another. Sometimes it takes a 'shaking' to reveal what's unshakable. God is not only able to handle our doubts, He's able to walk us out of them much stronger than we ever were before our faith was tested. But we've got to go to HIM with them. Even during my own deep inner turmoil I knew better than to talk to other doubters. The answer is not to be found in intellectual reasoning. Doubts reveal where our faith is shallow. They reveal where we've built a belief system on something other than a true, vital, living relationship with GOD. This is actually a good thing. It is able to propel us to seek Him in SPIRIT and in TRUTH because nothing else will do. If you're in anguish, plagued with doubts, I urge you to keep seeking. God is more real and more NEAR than you know, but it's the childlike, not the intellectually sophisticated, who encounter Him. And it is ultimately ALL about encounter. Those mystical experiences you've read about? They're not for a select few. The Bible is full of them, and we're all meant to have them - those times when God shows up for us, when He meets with us, when He confirms things to us in a way that only He can. Don't stop seeking! Don't give up! Those are moments of transcendent truth that no enemy from hell can steal!

This is crazy for me to see because I remember unsubscribing to her channel a couple of years back, I could tell she was a false conversion years ago. The American church is full of people just like this 😔

Praying for you dear! ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏

Salvation is of The Lord ( not of us ! ) But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. I pray Audrey might know both the peace of forgiveness of sins and the joy of life eternal that only Jesus can give.

Until we are brought to repentance and called out to the Lord and saved, spiritual blindness remains. Churches must teach sound doctrine and Christians must share the Gospel with all those the Lord brings to them.

Lack of Faith. This is the time of the great falling away. Afflictions come upon all and only the faithful will remain. All things will be shaken so the things that will be shaken will be shaken and the things that will remain will remain. Do not fear, do not fall away.

The great apostasy as predicted by the scriptures

It boils down precisely to this: If you're actually saved, you will certainly be left with questions for your whole life. But, you judge issues whose ideas come from the world by the transcendent truth of God and pursue answers on the basis of that. That is faith, but it's not blind (which so many believe faith is meant to be). But, If you're not saved, but have lived a culturally devoted "Christian" life, when you're exposed to things from the world - especially those that resonate - you measure the transcendent on the basis of human ideas. Since fear is the context of this vid, one of the above is a fear of God (which is the beginning of wisdom), the other however *is* fear of man. It's still fear. How odd that fear of man has won for so many of these deconstructionists. And how odd they don't see that.

I actually love this. You’d have to be raised either as a Christian or in a cult to even have a context for where we are coming from.

Praying for Audrey as she searches for truth. It took me 60 years to find it. Look to Christ. Read and study the Bible with the heart of a child.

East answer: “Christian Music” has become big business. Lots of folks get into it for that reason. They never were bonafide Christian followers to begin with.

I'm praying for Audrey! I Love her song, "I Shall Not Want." I pray she will fully embrace Jesus as her Savior, knowing that He said, HE is the truth and the Life and the way and that no man comes to the Father but by me".(John 14:6) I pray she will truly know in her heart that she needs or wants no other in this life. He alone truly satisfies. I pray she will grow in discernment as a beloved daughter "believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world." 1 John 4:1

Audrey is one of a growing trend of a movement away from institutions, and towards individual discovery. I look forward to what you'll be sharing with us as you travel this journey.

Keep searching. God gave your mind the ability to reason. Don't listen to the skeptics. Use your intellect to arrive at your own spirituality. God will be there, along side you as you search on "your" unique path. Then, and only then, will you be an authentic child of God.

So is she deconstructing from Christianity or her past and the strict environment she was raised in?

One who is truly born again will never ;leave. God will not let you. Sadly these folks were not born again. They may have said a prayer once as a child and believed themselves saved but they clearly weren't. Very sad. My faith was not fear based and was always based on evidence and what God had done and was doing in my life. I was saved at 31 and know well the truth.

It’s hard to connect with what she is saying, as i tried to find truth everywhere - literally everywhere and after years heavy in the new age, found truth, freedom and love in Jesus our Lord. ♥️ I’ve never been the same since 🙏🏻

…..” what you’re trying to do is critique and take down the structure you left behind…. “This raises an important point for those of us who have a deconstructing spirit, what are we after? What’s our motivating spirit? A reactionary spirit, that wants to reject the community of our youth, versus a spirit driven by the quest for truth whatever it might cost to find it.” From the podcast Rise & Fall or Mars Hill

It’s why we allow our kids to think.

So often, when people walk away, they aren't looking for the truths found in Scripture, but rather, a place where they can be accepted with their beliefs just as they are. I don't have words to express how much this pains me for them. Did they ever truly believe? It's not for me, or any of you, to say. Only God knows her heart. I can only pray that she and so many others will come back to Him someday, someday soon.

Celebrating deconstruction - which is, in truth, forasaking the actual truth of the Gospel, Jesus, and salvation - is heart breaking. It's like, "ooh, look at us! look how smart we are! look how enlightened!" BUT, in actuality, unless we are missing something, you are forsaking your first love. And, it is not remotely anything to celebrate.

It's not saddening. It's MADDENING. It's sheer hubris under the cloak of "intellectual honesty".

So sad to see how mans failure has shaped individuals view of God. Jesus set me free from fear with his love. ❤

How in the world would Josephus' writings help someone deconstruct? Are we sure she's even talking about Josephus here? His writing are some of the strongest non-Christian evidence we have for the existence of Jesus.

It's that curiosity she thinks is okay that led Eve to fall into the trap. Staying away from things isn't evil, it's absolute discipline.

I will be completely honest and say to some degree, this actually makes total sense. What I'm getting from this is that she was extremely sheltered from real life experiences, and grew up with very little to no real life knowledge. Therefore her so called faith was extremely shallow and the only real reason she believed was because she was told what to believe all her life without question. She probably wasn't allowed to ask any questions about her faith at all, but just told what to believe and just accept it. As a result, she literally had no foundation for her beliefs and if one day she had to defend what she believes, she literally wouldn't have a single leg to stand on. I definitely have to say that although her parents were both believers and I'm sure they raised her good,they should've done a better job teaching her the ways of the real world and not shelter her from it. IJS 💯💯

Did she end up with a mus lim dude? Her name is Assad, and is a middle eastern Syrian 🇸🇾 Mus lim name

Is the point to figure out the truth? Or to be a Christian no matter what?

Praying Audrey returns to Christ. Her music touches my soul and has obviously been spiritually inspired. Pray she puts less importance on the restrictive approach she was raised with and seeks truth.

Love your song "Eden" so much! Don`t worry, deconstruction is a normal thing. We all need to do it from time to time. Jesus still is the lord and sees the heart! Do you know Melissa Denyce? She has a channel called "love covered life". Would like to see a interview between you and her. Or is there already one?

Christianity and religions of man have error and fear, is not where you will find the True Creator. It's not on the outside of you, it's within. It's a personal journey with Spirit the Divine within.

Jon is an inspiration to us apostates. Christians don't realize how difficult it is to come out in a christian culture.

Our failure is when our lives become all about us instead of finding the God who made thsi earth and what He created us for.

After my wife divorced me and moved to Florida my son moved with her and proceeded to breakdown over the lose of his family. He began drinking, smoking pot and sleeping around. Usually on Fridays he would call me, drunk, to trash me, for what he could never say. We talked for at least an hour each time. Finally, one Friday he told me he had been desperately trying to become an atheist, or at least an agnostic, for over a year but couldn't do it. No matter how hard he tried her couldn't not believe in God and he blamed me for that! "You were always so reasonable and you knew so much. I never had a question you couldn't answer but you always told me if something was your opinion or really taught in the Bible. And you told me more than once that I had to decide what I believed. I've never forgotten that." Unfortunately, I found out a few years later from his sister that before our divorce and for years after his mother used to blame me for everything bad that had ever happened to her, and him! Sadder still, he is in thrall to his mother to this day.

How can someone question audery , she keeps me calm with her Christian songs and iam gonna lay my dying mon on her songs ... But why

Allowing kids to be exposed to other beliefs, life styles and challenges to their faith can inoculate them from deconstructing later in life if the parents are secure enough to have honest discussions, pointing out fallacies of other beliefs in a non-judgemental way. Letting kids see the effects of sin in other lives will also help them stay away from it later in life. As parents, we need to pray and keep the lines of communication open.

Deconstruction: the act of getting tired of hiding that you are living a double life.

Being a rebel from my early days under a wayward Methodist (splintered ) tradition, looking for truth seemed a natural path. Let’s pray you don’t find yourself entrapped, deluded by the deviancy that’s permeated the culture, Miss Audrey. From my remark below , (to an Ivan ?).. “The pursuit of knowledge as a way to truth should bring us back to the place of innocence, of true fellowship, as the Spirit helps us to see , as we forgive and get free of bitterness on the journey, to encounter the depths of His love… realizing His mercies are new, every morning. “

I've heard several testimonies of CCM artists who leave the faith or who deconstruct. From what they say they never knew Jesus Christ in the first place. It's like an unbeliever saying that they have ceased to believe. And... kinda reminds me of how the Roman Catholic practice of infant baptism makes Catholics think they are saved when they are not. In the Protestant church that's analogous to people who are born to Christian parents and everyone assumes they are Christians. What finally happens with most of these people is not that they leave their faith in Christ Jesus (apostasize). What happens is that they simply discover, realize, find out, that they had never believed in that Person in the first place. Simply put, in New Testament Biblical terms, they are lost and in need of the Savior.

Sadly, she still sounds very confused.

Its sad what Audrey says, sadly alot of Christians are close minded. Once we build on foundation and work on spiritual relationship with Christ, through His Holy Spirit as the sustain and support system for the entire Christian journey we will not fall and grow to love and learn from others. I have spoken to atheists for years and held personal debates. I have never been proven wrong because the evidence against Christianity is really weak, and the evidence for atheism is also really weak. People tend to walk away and say nothing else, as it things went through one ear and out the other. The truth is musicians have often be led by emotions not by The Holy Spirit. Believing in the love of Christ is great, but when things go wrong or unjust things happen in our lives we can either walk away and say i was wrong God doesnt love, or we can move on and say its something to help us grow spiritually and develop our mindset and prepare us for future circumstances.

Musicians score high on the openness scale of the Big Five. So, they would be more drawn to all kinds of concepts. I can see them rebelling against tradition or feeling betrayed by restrictive Christianity.

That sounds pretty rough to be so pressured. I had a little bit of that growing up in my Christian home, but I looked at it like it was just a very human fear to go against what one has been taught. But what I cared about was the truth, hopefully, so that's why I stuck too keeping open mind about the world. Time and time again, I would keep coming back to Christianity as the true belief.

to walk away from my saviour, who rescued me from the absolute wreck my life was. no intellectualism could make me turn from Him now. i love Jesus too deeply.

Being true to one's own develpment is more important than the need to obey the rules, so for all you who think Audrey has gone astray, realize that her path as an artist is unique, and she has absolute divine right to follow her own curiosity into what more there is to discover. I think she's brilliant and inspiring!!!

Staggering. I had no idea. So sorry. The River In The Rock blessed my wife and I so abundantly. So sad.

Religions aren't Christianity believe in our saviour the lord Jesus Christ n his blood shall cleanse us from all sin you must be born again

The heart of Christian faith isn't about what "I think" or even "I believe", but "Who do I belong to?" and "Where is my home"? People that allow questions to close the door on faith are making a sad and tragic mistake.

I deconstructed when the truth claims came up short. It's that simple. Also, a lot of people are leaving religions and not abandoning their faith. Churches are concerned because of the loss of power and money.

It's good to question, to learn and to scrutinize the Faith. I didn't get the sense from listening to Audrey that she has abandoned her faith in God. If that's so, then the Spirit of Truth will help her. If she was in a real relationship with the Lord (as it seems for how her music touches and moves so many of us), then she will find His help, feel his gentle nudge and return to His embrace. For this I pray.

“… my reason outpaced my need to obey “ gave me absolute chills

So.... she grew disillusioned with her repressive Plymouth Brethren upbringing but then decided to leave the Christian faith altogether??? Leave your repressive Brethren sect and see what other Christians have to say. She says she's a thinking person but doesn't sound like she put much thought into her decision. Just emotion.

Her voice and hymnal tone is beyond my Congregational upbringing in the, well. My upbringing in the Congregational church in the Pacific islands.

Another ‘Christian artist’ has left the faith. Shocking……not! It’s par for the course. I’ve never met a ‘Christian artist’ or ‘worship leader’ whose faith is as deep as we think it is. Notice I said “we think it is.” These people are hired or are famous because they’re great singers. Then people are shocked when they denounce the faith. I’m never shocked. “Another one bites the dust.”

We live in a fallen world, people think their life will never end, until it does. This is not the life that is going to matter, its the next one.

Sad. She almost quoted Eve in the garden before she ate the forbidden fruit… I don’t think she ever personally knew the God of the Bible. 😢🙏🏼

She didn’t meet Jesus personally but did things exactly as she was told. That’s the problem with overshielding parenting, and a fear based understanding of Jesus’ teachings, who often greeted people with Fear Not. Same as the Angels of God when they appeared to people.

Wow m so glad I did listen to her because she didn’t say anything that comes to me as a surprise!!! Could happen to anyone who just followed what they did because they were raised that way. They tend to get curious and question life which isn’t wrong. Bible says it’s fine to do it. But Christ wants a relationship and that can’t come if you just follow parole or what you’re raised to believe. There has to come a point in your life where you desperately need a saviour and there is no other way. I’m sure God has a plan In everybody’s life including her. And just because she’s turned away dosent change anything or the fact that her music once was for Gods glory and has helped many through storms. Christ is the same yesterday today and forever!!!!

I don't see anything wrong with allowing people to research other teachings, religion and philosophies. In my own journey i became a believer some years after college. I have a BA in Anthrpology from an esteemed university. I studied archaeology, evolution, comparative religions, big bang theory, laws of physics, laws of thermodynamics, etc. Many of my textbooks used were written by my professors at the time whom were well respected in their individual areas of expertise. Not everything made sense nor appeared to be logical to me at the time, even as a non believer. Over the course of time, the Holy Spirit revealed to me that i couldn't trust all of it and that some of it was nothing more than pure folly. Over time God made known to me that i can always trust in He who created time, space, science and thought itself. I now put my trust in nothing conceived in the hearts and minds of men but rather the creator of all things and Jesus Christ and Him crucified, my savior, redeemer, deliverer and salvation. To God be the glory! 🙏🏻☝️

When the brain stops we stay in the Church because God reaches us not just through ideas but through his prescence and reality. There's a vast range of churches in the US. Try the Antiochian or Melkite for example.

People who grew up with strict rules did not learn to cope with questions and doubts. In my opinion they are raised with a weird kind of perfection concerning their beliefs. This is so sad to see. It is their decision to leave, but I blame their parents too, who perverted the picture of God and destroyed so much. The kids were raised in fear. It is important to know Jesus Christ and in the first place to know a God of love. God created the world. If Gods intention was to know all details about the creation or whatever he would give us the information. I do not walk away from God, because things are not clear. Perhaps God created the world in a process similar to the evolution in 6.000 or in 6 billions years or in a different way? For me it makes no difference who is God.

In catholicism, this fear based preaching is called " contriction of conscience" , and is just a terrible way to deal with theology.

Why would reading about Josephus be so controversial? Josephus mentions Jesus twice and even John the Baptist. Josephus writings are generally considered a confirmation of biblical material

It would seem from what she is saying to me,that she may have had an outward form of Christianity and not really been born again.The good thing is ,she appears to be possibly still open minded,so I pray that God will yet touch her life..also it's clear that Christian musician doesn't necessarily mean the individual is really a Christian..Parable of the sower and the seed?

This is the result of a version of Christianity that lacks the life of God. Jesus is that life. I pray she finds Him if she hasn’t.

Is there really anything to be surprised by anymore?

That's too bad, there was a song she sang that helped me through a very hard time in my life where I was an alcoholic. I think the reasons I'm a Christian, is utterly rational from start to finish, too bad she seems unaware that is the case. I'm a non-denominational protestant raised guy, if she ever were to read this, which I'm almost certain she would not, but since she is (or was) a Catholic, I'd recommend that she read the Doctors of the Church. If she read and studied them, and TRULY understood what they wrote, she would understand that God exists, Christianity is true, and there is absolutely nothing that modernity, scientism, modern thinking, modern physics, modern psychology, whatever, can negate what they have written. Read and understand St Thomas Aquinas. Audrey, it is all true, every bit of it, and they can prove it.

There are two problems that the folks that are deconstructing have. One is the problem of sin and the second is the problem of the resurrection. Their sin is not dealt with and the empty tomb is not dealt with. The empty tomb is the single most important event in all of history and until they give a rational answer for that they shouldn't be able to sleep at night!

Sounds like a very legalistic church n "religion". I hope she builds a relationship with the One True Jesus.

You can talk all you want about who God is or what he wants but you can't deny the fallacies and contradictions found in the bible.

I love Audrey and her whole journey!!!

Man, people be praying for Audry Assad, this is God's plan, a master plan, he knew that at this time, Audrey Assad will go through this phase... He knows everything, and no one can change that.... Just love her for who she is, man!! Christians can be f**ked up sometimes. If God wants her path to deconvert, then come back to him(or not), then who are we to change that

Wow, very well said! Similar to my own journey and may others feel peace and comfort in their soul searching. There is no higher authority than Truth.

Who is telling her that certain books are forbidden? The author she mentions is a source which supports the biblical writings. And why would she be living in constant fear? Faith in God releases us from fear because the only thing we should fear is God. Jesus’s message was for us to stop fearing about the future, money, and what others think of us. To say that there is less fear by leaving the faith is foolishness and completely false.

Jeremiah 31:29-30

It all boils down to this basically: No matter the evidence and reasoning behind, I won't believe in a God because I don't want to do the things He wants me to do.

Sad to hear Audrey

Eccls 1:18 read that in this journey of yours. Eccls 8:11 let that be the reason u pray at night and in the morning of the life u have left. I hope the Good Lord will help u come back to Him. Amen

i was very scientific and consumed as much education as i could get my hands on. it lead me to laugh at christianity at a certain point and my life ended up in multiple addictions and failure at every turn. i asked god to come back into my life and ive had so many blessings and so much growth in the past year and a half that its almost unbelievable. now im sober, i have my own place, i got that job, and im happier than ive ever been. ive also not been inside a church a single time since God came back into my life. im not saying thats right or wrong, im just being honest. im very skeptical of congregations and being lead the wrong way by others negative motives etc. all i know is when i sit with God im more than just a failure and my relationship with him is growing. i will sit with God alone until he shows me the church or the people he wants me to be with. i dont think we realize how sometimes christians can be the worst thing that ever happened to other christians but i do know that Jesus said if we beleive and receive his sacrifice then we are Gods children. i dont think we need to be a cult or to hide our christian children away from the world. i think we need to teach them and help them and let their strength in christ shine through. i know that takes a lot of faith but we arent prison wardens, were here to shine light, through us, not to be afraid of the darkness. im not saying we dont take it seriously or protect our brothers and sisters, im just saying at a certain point the control isnt christian, its just control.

It is the best feeling ever when you OPEN YOUR MIND and start to try and break the spell. you soon realise that there is a whole different world out there.

It's ridiculous to seek to improve or help the church in any way by asking the counsel of the apostate. It doesn't sound to me like she actually ever knew Jesus. According to her, her religion was built upon fear. That isn't Bible Christianity.

Yes the devil throws alot to confuse you. The Way is narrow. Call upon Jesus and let Him lead you. He is all we have. He is All in All. Study Scripture and at some time He will call you back into a church where He wants you to be. If you are His, He will never let you go. He is the Good Shepherd. Interesting that you were singing about someone you didn't even know. Get to know Him, then sing about Him. It will be a more beautiful thing. Prayerfully, 🕊❤

In an "exploration phase", culture, 'freedom of choice', waywardness, etc. shouldn't lead one AWAY from Truth. True, all of the 1st things that folk receive aren't correct, & its better if 1 NEVER heard political-religion before meeting the Truth, but we can't design a 'separate truth. Jesus IS the Way, Truth, & Life. Much Love.