How I Learned the Powerful Impact of Authentic Leadership (the hard way)
Did you ever think you were leading really well, and then it turned out you were actually screwing it all up? Yeah, me too. This is how I learned the importance of authentic leadership the hard way.
I was in my early thirties and had just been promoted to my very first job in human resources and it was concurrent with a merger at Verizon.
All the players were new. I had a new boss. There was a whole new set of executive stakeholders to support. Half my team was new. And, because life is sometimes messy, I was going through a divorce and was working to navigate a new life, in a new role, in a new home, as a single mom.
Now we all know this kind of stuff is illegal, my mind raced with all the negative assumptions "they" might make:
"How's she going to manage this big jump in scope and scale with all the stress going on at home?"
"Is she really going to be able to pull off the travel from Baltimore to Manhattan with a little boy at home?
"She's awfully young, let's just wait and see how all this plays out. There will be another time to promote her.
So, I kept very, very quiet.
(If you prefer to hear me tell this story about how I learned about being an authentic leader the hard way, you can do that here).
My very first assignment in this new role...
was to create a diversity strategy for the new, merged organization. So we created a diversity council. The idea was to bring diverse people together from both sides of the two merging companies. We invited employees from all roles, sales, customer service, marketing, IT. And, employees of different races, ages, genders, sexual orientations.
The idea was to really listen to their experience and stories and use them to inform our strategy.
We would figure out what changes we needed to make to our policies. And, what resources we needed to provide.
And it was going so well...
Diversity Council members were really opening up and sharing their vulnerable stories.
For example, Juan said, "you know I was at a management off-site the other day. And, a senior leader (who by the way has met me at least three times) handed me his keys because he thought I was the valet.
And Sherika said, as a black woman, sometimes I speak up and share my ideas, and everyone keeps talking. Then, the white guy sitting right next to me says practically the same thing, and suddenly all eyes are on him talking about what a great idea it is.
And Susan said, I'm a single mom and I work in a 24x7 contact center in the Bronx. Our schedules change every three weeks. I can't possibly keep reliable daycare in a situation like that. I'm on stage four for attendance, and I'm about to lose my job. And, I really need this job.
And we listened carefully. The diversity council came up with different policy recommendations, and resources to consider.
It was three weeks before we were ready to present our strategy to senior leadership and...
Sherika walked into my office and picked up a picture of me and my son from my desk. She handed it to me and said, Karin, YOU ARE A FRAUD.
(watch the video on authentic leaderhsip to hear the rest of the story)
What I Learned About Being an Authentic Leader From Sherika
I'm so grateful for Sherika and her courage to speak up and call me back to the important mission we were doing.
Although, if you had asked me if I believed in authentic leadership at the time, I surely would have said yes. After all, our entire strategy was built around the diversity council sharing their authentic stories.
But under stress and pressure, I was afraid to be authentic. I thought no one would want to follow the real me.
I had lost confidence in my strengths. And, I lacked the humility needed to put our mission above my personal needs. The strategy suffered.
That's when I learned the importance of being an authentic leader. And, never asking my team to do something that I was unwilling to do.
Not only did Sherika's courage change the success of our strategy. It also changed the way I led and taught leadership from there on out.
I also learned that authenticity and vulnerability build trust.
Teams need a leader they can relate to, not someone trying to show up "perfect," while suffering on the inside.
I'm no longer a fraud because I'm not afraid.