My younger brother, Justin, has autism and I wrote this poem inspired by Autism Awareness Month (April). I want to share it to provide my perspective on autism and promote awareness of the challenges that many families experience with this complex neurological disorder.
Please feel free to comment with any similar stories or ideas for how to support the autism community.
Untitled -- Autism Awareness Sibling Poem
At age two my brother was diagnosed
With a special state of mind
It didn't seem to make sense
This undeserved family consequence
Confusion quickly shifted to resentment
Cold shoulders, loud noise
No playtime or shared toys
A deeply desired brother void
Parental tension escalation
Held back family recreation
Self inflicted pain, nothing the same
So little experience to gain
Then the divorce, of course
We were torn apart
Thrown off from the very start
Shattered by anger and uncertainty
Young ambiguity suddenly hit
So much attention given to J
Comprehension, I wasn't okay
Maybe it was my fault
Therapy sessions would persist
Enlisted emotional support
A constant inspection of right or wrong
Trying to mitigate bad inner direction
Removal made some sense
I tried to escape and hate
Allow myself to ignore
Close the Autism-divorce door
***
Regardless of chaos and never speaking
Initial frustration by the lack of what I was seeking
I have always loved my brother
And we will always have a unique bond
Good times we've had are so very special
His joy and cheer can be incredible
We've seen the best parent and sister example possible
Unconditional love and courage that's unstoppable
Reflecting half-full on autism actions
A few dark, understandable reactions
It actually accelerated personal growth
A test supreme to any classroom
Justin shaped who I am
I further appreciated my best friend Sam
Redefined relationships and interconnection
Developed the ability to be provide constant affection
He fostered judgment out of sight
An open mind and history to write
This desire to never pass up opportunity
Drive and ambition became standard to me
The unreal life I've lived
Has been fueled so much by Justin
And for that
I am forever thankful
I came to the realization
The rich life and function we are blessed
For many with Autism in this world does not exist
Gratitude and respect is the least we owe
Not only for that of sacrifice
But for the many gifts of Autism
Like invaluable perspective, patience and purity
Strength of persistence and tackling uncertainty
The constant reminder that life is short
There is so much to see and do
We have the ability to make dreams come true
The freedom of our voice and choice
With all of the things to embrace in our world
Now how do we bring awareness to the autistic boy and girl?
Their body, mind and soul is still right here
Happy sad emotions are expressed quite clear
J and I were fortunate to have great family and resources
What about those without positive forces?
It's a systemic problem we face today
For one in one-hundred-ten the norms are not okay
Interacting in our world is just different with Autism
We should work to make it less of a prison
I envision a community with far more acceptance
An education system that's far less irreverent
The challenges faced by my parents, Justin and others
Are far beyond what I can even imagine
But I know that by working hard together
We can change the worlds we all live in forever