Excellent illustration! One of my sisters, undeniably autistic, goes into physical vomiting from emotional stress. After that, she can get on with whatever it was that was getting too stressful, uncomfortably, but more manageable. I feel like my brain emotionally vomits at the point of a meltdown. I should remember that illustration. Thank you! ❤

@@rebeccamay6420 I am certain my motion sickness as a child was at least partly due to the stress building as I rode the bus to school. Eventually, mom decided to let me sleep in a half hour, and drive me to school every school day.

I feel grabbed at the throat and wretch

Yes! Not sure yet if I'm Autistic or not but you described my most recent meltdown very well. Thank you!

I relate to every word. Nothing consistently triggers rage and meltdowns in me like sports, either playing them or watching them as a passionate fan. I have always prided myself on my logical and objective demeanor, and getting so upset (to the point that I feel like I have to break things or hit myself to feel better), over something as meaningless as a game is hideously embarrassing. I have tried so hard to enjoy sports without taking it too seriously, but it just doesn't seem to work. I should just avoid them, but it's hard when it has (at times) brought me so much joy in the past, and it is one of the few things that I talk to my dad about.

I relate so deeply to both of you. I wasn’t an athlete, but I was an actor & musician, and I would go into meltdowns if I missed one word of a monologue, was a little off pitch, or just wasn’t happy with my performance for the most minuscule reasons. I finally had to walk away from it entirely, which only broke my spirit even more. I had my life planned around performing and trying to make it “big time,” but it got to a point where even thinking about an audition or rehearsal would trigger a meltdown. I’ve moved into the “apathy is safety” mindset. I try not to expect much, certainly not from myself, but I am working my way through a career program. We’ll see how it goes, but optimism alone can sometimes feel like playing with fire. I’m glad to be learning more about myself and how to take better care of me from channels like this, and the people who share their experiences in the comments - y’all especially make me feel much less alone ❤

Having. Meltdown. Being embarrassed after the fact, and getting treated like an idiot afterwards.

I get angry that the people around me think I'm being selfish and nasty when at most I am frightened or annoyed because something hasn't gone the way I need it to

I can relate to every word. The afthermath of a Meltdown for me is the worst part. I feel awful for my behaviour but at the same time I want to feel compassion for myself. Overall it is like a Tug of War going on in my brain.

Can you explain how it felt? Are you diagnosed?

Same, I have figured out my panic attacks are from overstimulation as much as from intrusive thoughts. Now I get under my weighted blanket until I feel better.

​​@@heythere6983I can't speak for him but I can relate so I'll tell you what I think. I am diagnosed with social anxiety and depression. But no psychiatrist I've been to has helped me in any way. I'm finally off the benzos they put me on, which did help but it wasn't addressing the real problem. The antidepressants just did nothing, thankfully(!). So no, I haven't been in a hurry to seek a diagnosis, I don't expect anyone to understand really. But for me the epiphany over the course of my 35th year has made sense of my life in a way I never thought possible before. It raised my self worth and checked my ego at the same time.

@@tnix80 I like fans and binaural beats. Weighted blankets are awesome, too.

Yup, and my experience led me to be homeless in NYC. I still can't sustain work and improve my situation too greatly, still here ,but at least indoors. I wish I had the means and resources to create a safe lifestyle

Actually, that was an excellent analogy: People have experienced internal injury from forced "holding" of necessary bodily functions -- whether someone is demanding it of you or you may be forcing it upon yourself, it can result in diverticulosis of the colon and overstretching the bladder repeatedly to the point it gets "floppy" and incontinent. I know someone who is "proud" of being able to "hold it" during a full-day event and also the whole ride home, possibly nine or ten hours since leaving the house until returning home, and her doctor diagnosed her with Floppy Bladder. I only now recognize, since learning about my own divergent neuro-type late in life, that she has many traits of (Aspergers) Autism. We're closely related; Autism is genetic. It now makes sense!!

The other night I was screaming at my husband, "You can't put the flood back in the dam!" He didn't get it. It sucked.

Good on you for being open to your daughter about her condition, she’ll have a much greater upper hand because of it

Your an amazing mom! It must be hard seeing your daughter in this way. She is seeing weakness and stress. In all of that you see a warrior. A Phoenix on self destruct mode, always coming back stronger everytime. The world needs more moms like you❤

@@abernard02601 Thanks. She's started her first job, and we've had a few bumps but she keeps on plugging. I'm so proud of her.

Meltdowns are extreamly scary to experience, that loss of controll and often judgment from Others . . . .ITS so so uncomfortable

"I learned I could only rely on myself to soothe." I'm sobbing. Yes. Same.

I remember crying a lot as a child.

I'm glad you made it through that hell, I promise things will get better soon ❤

My mom always used to say I "had an attitude" and "I don't like your attitude" and it's like "this isn't at you I just am overloaded". It's rough.

I feel you, I get that all the time

YES. Exactly!

That's actually a really good way of putting it! Thank you.

Thank you for this poetic description of a meltdown

Haha yeah

Good describtor!!!

Sending you love❤

💯

I dont know your situation but a redirection often helps good luck my friend and god bless

Great video, thank you Orian. Partner was diagnosed in May 2021, up to then 20 years of grief, sadness, misunderstanding, blaming and resentment on both our parts. Now we've just realized with your help in this vid, many of what we called dissociations we're actually meltdowns however combined with masking he would not allow himself the meltdown, internalizing it, and would try to push through. Disaster would ensue. Sometimes really awful things would happen during intimacy. It's been hell for both of us.

YES! 🙌🏼

Yes I have a child who would come cry at the top of his lungs right in my face. It was extremely triggering. 😢 Thankfully he's getting older and those are fewer and farther between and I'm better able to calm him.

PS I am f***ing 63. I say this because it feels like such a shameful thing to still have this happening at 63.😢

Your husband sounds awesome. I wish my exwife would have been as understanding.

​@@GrannyGooseOnKZfaq ❤ I feel this deeply.

​@@GrannyGooseOnKZfaqthank you, very much, for sharing

Glad im not the only one to experience this. When I get overwhelmed I have the urge to just scream, and it's really difficult to deal with when I'm surrounded by people (which is unfortunately when they happen the most) and it makes me feel very frustrated and misunderstood. I used to think I had anger issues and was overly sensitive or "childish". A lot of times when I have a meltdown I'm told I'm "making a big deal out of things" and I "need to calm down" and it's humiliating. I feel like no matter what I say they never understand. I'm happy you have someone in your life who can support you so well ❤ as a 20 year old, I can only hope I have someone so kind and understanding in my life some day.

I know I'm a month late here, but hey, hey. That's not your fault or anyone else's. You have a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects meltdowns. You can't do anything about it, and your mother's being frightened shows that she cares about you, right? So don't be so hard on yourself. You deserve love and friends, and there are way worse people on the planet than those who have involuntary meltdowns. We are not broken. We're just wired differently

@@noname-vf1ft Thank you for this. My goodness, I needed it! I feel really accepted and appreciated and valid right now, genuinely it means a lot that you took time out of your day to comment. 🙏

Same here. Its crying and screaming. Im only figuring out myself at 34 i had no idea what this was. Its like things become unbearable and i freak out. It happened once at work....without warning. I just couldnt stop crying because i had a really unfair evaluation. My boss was scared...im at a different job now and it never happened there. I have a self immune disease so i dont go in the office. Which relieved some pressure. I also get very angry and confused if someone changes my things from its place. My mom does it and had to have a serious conversation with her about it...as it makes me so stressed i take like 2 hours to match my clothes or organize a bag of stuff 😢

Thanks for sharing. I'm not diagnosed w autism, but I swear I am a walking DSM-IV description of one with autism. I'll be 40 next week and I'm Dx'd w anxiety, depression, PTSD, and sleep disorders....I really thought I Just had a bad temper I couldn't control.

I’m always told I’m acting childlike when I’m stressed it makes everything worse. Covid made things worse for me because routine went out the window and I had xx to deal with so much alone. Hospital appointments and an operation. Then all went downhill. My safe place was no longer there. But it triggers me when I’m told I’m acting like a child. I am in my 50’s haven’t had a diagnosis. My daughter is on the spectrum so been investigating info and now realised I’m on the spectrum. My daughter has Delayed learning disability and dyslexia. Here she has to wait for 3/4 years to get a diagnosis, so I’ve got no chance. She it terrified about going to high school and it will be 3 years in when I get to see a consultant about it. Ridiculous.

Thank you so much for sharing your experience! I'm undiagnosed, but I'm certain I'm autistic and ADHD. I do have diagnosed PTSD an anxiety, though. I'm glad there are others that experience similar workplace overwhelm as I do. Thankfully, I'm a night owl, so when I was doing standard scheduled work, it helped that I could simply work overnights or late, so there was less noise, fewer people, and overall fewer meltdowns. The pandemic took away my night shift options, so my problem then became I was constantly getting burned out from ignoring my natural night shift lifestyle. Full blown autistic burnout that would last weeks. I'd recover for about a week and then right back to burnout. The only thing that I have found helpful is going into gig work. It's not what I'm passionate in, but I'm able to somewhat choose my hours (due to the nature of what I do, delivery) and as long as bills are paid, I can work on the days I have the energy to leave the house. It's unfortunate that this isn't a solution for so many people, especially in America. I had to make it an option for myself otherwise I was going to be jobless this year. I was able to transition in about two months from my W-2 hell hole work environment to being an independent worker. There's still challenges and it's not perfect, but I can at least hold a job now without sacrificing all of my energy and mental health. The restaurant industry is so hard. My neurodivergent step father is a chef and has his sensory struggles in the industry on top of the injustices that occur in those kitchens. It's a very tough field to be in. I have to take a moment and give you massive credit for being able to survive in that environment. No matter where life takes you, I hope you're able to find a more harmonious balance in your efforts to survive. You're doing wonderful!

I couldn't take just going to eat in a restaurant, until I discovered wearing foam earplugs. It cuts out the worst of the noise, plus you can hear conversation easier. Maybe it would help you.

@@angelagibbs6776 why does your daughter have to wait so long for a diagnosis? That's awful, and so counteracting to trying to help manage her symptoms.. and I totally understand the acting like a child part. I stomp feet and over react to things I don't like or trigger me. My temper is a issue. I have 2 basic moods. Mad or content

Agreed. As a girl growing up in the 70s and 80s, we were almost entirely left out of diagnostics for autism, because it simply wasn't acceptable for us to do certain things the boys could get away with, like be rude and refuse to respond to people. Even today, most people's understanding of autism is of a clueless male who needs to live in a group home and can't hold down a job. I had meltdowns as a kid so bad that kids at school would actually gather around to watch it like it was a show. Horrible memories, and I remember trying to explain to another kid (while hyperventilating) that it wasn't something I had any control over and only a small window of warning. Nowadays, most of mine are internal and I deal with it by living alone and avoiding company, but my last "big" one happened just a few years ago at work and while I kept my job, I honestly thought I was going to have to quit because I started crying on at least one of the phone calls with clients in attendance. I wonder sometimes how many "nervous breakdowns" are actually autistic meltdowns.

​@kratze1738 I've had 2 meltdowns at work in the past month - I offered my resignation after I melted down on my manager but she didn't accept it TG but the shame and guilt I can't get over 😢

Horrible, never should have been said to you.

I’m sorry that happened to you 😢

I am so sorry that was your experience. You are a worthy and wonderful human. 💖💖

You have suffered injustice. I am sorry. I had similar experiences. I think we would have to be totally insane in order NOT to experience meltdowns and rage after what we have been through all our lives. Don't give up. The world needs your input! :)

So sorry to hear that!

Ditto here

Same here, I've always felt different to others so it's just easier to be a hermit with my dog.

Hello mirror

🙋🏼‍♀️

@@pandaofrandom ❤️❤️❤️

I feel bad that happened to you…

I am so sorry if no one told you that please let me as an adult. That was so wrong. Also for a young female getting your period in public without any supplies is a nightmare. It is also difficult to get some people to understand period pain. Been there in that situation. Also sending a man holy crap. Thank you for sharing. It will help someone for sure. It may also help most young girls, most probably have a horrific story that they are to embarrassed to speak about. Thank you again. Wishing you joy and peace.

Soul crushing! Yes! This! It's painful. I have ADHD and autism. I'm 41 and just got diagnosed this fall. I've always said being forced to do all of what you said to make it in this NT world - throughout childhood and adulthood - feels like my soul is being stabbed over and over again, and you can't get away from the blade. You can only take so much murder until you snap. And then NT's are like, "It's not that bad." "Just suck it up." "Calm down." "What's wrong with you?" "Just stay here and do it." "Just do it." "I don't care! Shut up! Behave! Stop crying, or I'll give you something to cry about!" (I heard that one a lot as a kid in various iterations) "You're too sensitive, omg." "What's your problem?" "You have to deal with it." or, "You're fired." And many, many more. I only seemed like the normal kid, because what I experienced is what my parents experienced, and every party involved was completely ignorant. Only now, at 71, because of me saying "screw this!" and finding help and research, my mom is starting to understand her life. She's apologized to me repeatedly. My dad has yet to understand, but he's trying.

@@ohkaygoplay That's awesome that your mom is also benefiting from your diagnosis. It helps a lot to have that level of understanding after years of being in the dark. I'm so glad I got the diagnosis after a few years of questioning whether or not I was actually struggling with ASD. There's so much information that comes with having that label, and it's helping me learn how to reasonably compromise with people and not feel so ostracized all the time. It's still a pretty significant struggle, and I don't think I'm ever going to be happy about having meltdowns, but at least now I can identify why I feel the way I do and come up with strategies to deal with it rather than hate myself and completely shut myself off from the world. I don't want to have to mask all the time, but I also don't want to be completely alone, so I've been working on how to balance that out. It's admittedly hard to do that sometimes when my brain gets so overwhelmed and frantic and misreads other people's intentions (especially those I'm closest to unfortunately). I think a lot of my meltdowns come from catastrophizing and repeatedly having the same negative thoughts over and over. Recognizing that I'm so prone to doing that has helped keep me from spinning out of control. Learning mediation and having a good therapist have been really helpful, too.

My ADHD ...... wants you to get to the point... I checked out many many many times~~ about melting down...listening to you talk in circles... fast forwarding...

You were probably just an introverted articulate guy, I know I had many struggles. I don't think you are autistic though. My son is autistic and he will have the meltdown, period. And he is low-functioning autistic and that means he is non-verbal. I'm seeing some inprovements now but he is 21 years old, he tries to say some words in the course of a day.

I’m in this now

Mental hospital should certainly not be used for autistic meltdown, particularly because as you say it is something that will pass through and medication does not affect it. There are, however, other reasons to use the professional help of a hospital (eg. delirium).

I had the cops called on me. The people at the hospital were just annoyed that I was there wasting their time.

Seriously. Good way to get someone shot over something really manageable and temporary where nobody is in any danger, but there's always a Karen looking to play hall monitor when other people won't step in line.

@@thrashandanarchy yes usually some middle class wanna be. My authority ganged up on me at a meeting that I specifically asked to attend to state my needs. They are disgusting bullies. Some things never change sadly. Bullies and ableist and gossips and judgements.

I've used his videos to explain what its like to be me to other people too.

What helps you to cope with failure? Because my 11 year old son hates it when I correct him during school. Mainly when I correct his pronunciation.

Man I'm sorry your trash wife left you. Here's hoping you'll find someone who will understand and accept you

@@butreally289 Remember to take care of yourself too!

@@butreally289 I did and it didn't matter.

@@butreally289 Thanks. Not all wives are as understanding as you.

@@butreally289 That doesn't sound like the way a loving, supportive spouse would behave, autistic or not. I know it's a complicated situation but you deserve mutual respect and care in a relationship. I pray that things will get better for you. ❤

Thank you so much for being brave enough to share your story. My heart was aching for you. I’m so sorry for the loss of your wife, but you have a son and that is such a blessing. God bless you for breaking that cycle that you lived the cycle of violence that your father and others, Put you through. It’s wonderful that you recognize what your son is going through because you too are autistic. I pray that God will heal your heart and remember that God is your father and he loves you. Your testimony is what you commented and it has the ability to change so many lives. God bless you and your son and God bless you for taking all the negative that you lived through and using it as a testimony, you are a blessing to so many.

I am so so sorry Jim .. Words seem so empty. Seeing and experiencing too many episodes of violence and fear as a child well and truly left its mark on myself and my siblings and mum .... This is a cruel world .. In my old age now ... My journey has been one of trying to come to terms with the anxiety and terror caused by abuse .... even now .. I still ask myself WHY .. I Have no answers... I just know we , like you , never deserved any of it ..😢❤😢

In 2013 this type of thing led me to step out in front of a semi and close my eyes. This is the dangers of telling someone it's faking. It causes everything to greatly Escalate and almost led to Death in my case. This is how serious it is NOT to tell an autistic person something like that It's Fake. Had that truck ran my over I would have been gone in seconds. This is a horrible experience I will NEVER FORGET.

Tell her it hurts, and that you feel bad about it. My kid used to cry after a meltdown because it was out of his control. Show her this post.

❤❤

@@rarebreed-wj3ovThank goodness for brakes. I’m assuming the semi truck hit the brakes because swerving might have flipped it.

Absolutely empathize with this

One of the major obstacles to understanding why I behave/feel the way that I do is because all of my challenges are related. I have cPTSD, depression, a sleeping disorder, ADHD, and autism. There's almost always an obvious symptom of one or more of those challenges to explain why I am the way I am. But it's still hard to know which one.

I'm not a parent but from my perspective even if someone is having a tantrum there is a reason. Finding out why is important. A child that I used to babysit would get upset when the TV was turned off (parents had said that she could watch specific shows and not to leave on all day). I would tell her that she is allowed to be upset about that, won't change the outcome but she is allowed to have the emotion. If it is because you have said no then it still could be either a meltdown or a tantrum (or a combo of both) as they could have thought something was going to happen and the change is upsetting.

Silent treatment is manipulative from my perspective. Not a good thing.

@@Gandalf_the_quantum_G I think I may have Misused “silent treatment” for giving me space and being quiet. To me it feels the same but probably different from a neurotypical point of view? Idk. She’s NT and my 2 daughters and I are ND. My beautiful bride is very supportive and understanding, she gives the right nudges and pulls back at the right times in almost all situations. Meltdowns are hard for her, probably because I become highly irritable and inconsolable. (When I’m melting down, I wish I could even get away from myself)

@@amandamandamands This is true. I.E. (My youngest is nonverbal) We were in a store getting groceries and got the girls juices with characters on top of the lid. We let them hold them because my two daughters were so excited, (they loved the minions on the lid) my youngest tried to get us to open them so she could drink and had a “meltdown/tantrum?” When we told her that she had to wait until we paid for the item. She already had a drink that we brought to the store so she would have that comfort. After a while I had the idea to put my sunglasses on her face and she instantly was distracted or calm or both, I’m not really sure. So maybe it was the No, in correlation to sensory overload due to tue lighting and everything going on. (Which is a high possibility, I wear earplugs when going anywhere.)

@@codypumphrey7225 ah well, now it's better understandable. I'm happy you've a supportive partner. It's so important.

I'm so sorry this happened to you, you deserved compassion in that moment, I hope you are coping okay now ❤

I have this same issue, and then I just feel my trauma gets even worse...

Pray to Jesus.

I'm sorry that you were not given the love, direction, and attention you needed as a child. I see how often the siblings of more disabled kids are neglected, ignored, or left to their own devices. As a fellow autistic woman it took years of abuse and gaslighting for me to learn that men can be dangerous and are not honest. I think many autistic women experience this. We are never taught how to keep ourselves safe, despite being more naive and vulnerable to being taken advantage of. I hope at this stage in your life you are finding the peace you deserve.

When reading your message, I saw moreso c-PTSD with codependency due to being parentified as a child... surprised me at the end when you said you're autistic

Your comment really speaks to me. I too have massive and ongoing trauma from childhood on due to a family with autism, schizophrenia, ADHD, narcissism, and Bipolar disorder. It ruined my relationship choices and most of my other life choices. I've attempted suicide for real. I have an adult autistic child. I have ADHD. I can't wait to be dead.

The way you describe your two prior spouses indicates narcissism, NOT autism. Despite some superficial similarities, they are not the same. An autistic meltdown is a response to stress and not really targeted at anyone. Narcissistic rage is a response to a perceived slight to the narcissist, or them not getting their way, and it is very targeted (see: tantrum). I'm autistic (aspie) myself, from a very healthy mostly autistic family. I also, because I was overly trusting, was briefly in an emotionally abusive marriage to a covert narcissist. As a result of both, maintaining the distinction between the two is very important. If the thought of being like your former spouse horrifies you, because you wouldn't even treat them that way now, then you'll understand why the distinction is important

@@faerykatThat’s sad how you feel. I’ve been through a lot of pain too. I have thought of doing harm to myself in the past. I’m an aspie. My father was a lazy deadbeat who liked to mooch a living off of other people and I haven’t spoken to him in years. My mother is living in a adult care facility because she has severe mental health issues. I grew up in group homes and foster care because I wasn’t wanted. I have struggled to find value in myself because I used to really hate myself because if no one else loved me why should I even care about myself. Eventually I realized that even though life can be hard at times (really most of the time) there is also beauty out there too and it is worth it to live and seek it out. Find something beautiful that brings you joy and strive to exist for the happy moments. I hope this helps not only you but anyone else who feels hopeless, worthless, empty, and rejected. Just because you feel a certain negativity doesn’t mean you have to accept it. We all deserve to be happy and we all deserve life.

Sending you love ❤

@@Pinwheelsystem thank you 🙏🏼

I’m happy you left him he seemed like a completely asshole

I've grown to actually hate NTs tbh because I just can't stand how I get invalidated all the time for my real emotions. I know it's wrong to hate an entire spectrum of people but they all just feel like validation seeking hounds

The autistic rage that can be triggered by low blood sugar is so real. I started sobbing yesterday because my mom was whistling and it hurt my ears. I feel so upset and ashamed of myself for being so mad at my mom for how she demonstrates that she’s in a good mood. I feel like an evil and cruel person. But then I’ll realize that I forgot to eat anything all day, once I get the food in me I feel so much better and can handle listening to the noises people around me make without an emotional outburst. It’s definitely not an excuse to be verbally (or physically) abusive but those things can and do happen during autistic meltdowns. Not every time mind you and it’s gonna be different for every person. I understand how this would make you view your friend differently but try to have compassion as well. We don’t always have the opportunity to separate ourselves, so that we can either, meltdown privately, or cool off and avoid the meltdown happening. If you feel differently after seeing this outburst you should talk it over with her. Every autistic person is different(and everyone else for that matter) so I unfortunately can’t tell you anything more specifically useful due to a lack of knowing her. We all have different experiences understands the world and ourselves differently. But the best thing always is to talk about it. Maybe there’s things that you could do to help her to avoid these situations in the future? See if there’s ways she can communicate with you that she is feeling poorly and needs a break or find things that she would enjoy stimming with. Me personally I love the feeling of uncooked rice and if I think I will be stressed I’ll keep some in a baggie with me when I go out. In the example you gave I might suggest this friend carries some snacks that they enjoy with them so if they are feeling hungry they have something to tide them over while they prepare, plan for, or wait to get a proper meal. Alexithymia can be a bitch, you don’t think your hungry until your starving and by then it’s too late to do anything about because your too upset and hungry to think of plan out and execute all the steps required to obtain food. Sorry for the essay. Hope you don’t mind. I’m a bit invested in this topic if you couldn’t tell😅. The Idea of anyone I know seeing me meltdown is so fucking terrifying for me, because, I know that they wouldn’t understand and probably judge me in such a terrible way. That they’d think of me like some dangerous out of control animal that could snap at any second:( and that’s just not the case but I can’t explain that when I’m upset and that’s the only time neurotypicals in my life want to listen to me on my emotions, which in turn overwhelms me more and makes the situation worse. So much embarrassment and shame wrapped up in meltdowns. It breaks my heart when this happens to me and so I may be projecting my experiences. Last time my mother witnessed a meltdown she called the cops on me. In her head she was trying to keep me safe but police officers kill autistic people and other disabled people at a much higher frequency than the typical public. I was terrified and shutdown completely desperate to not appear different or threatening. It’s always better to talk things out rather then let it ruminate in your mind. Don’t wait for her to become upset or triggered before you address this. Do keep in mind not every autistic person is gonna be a, A good person, and B a healthy emotionally mature person that is safe to be around. That is something that you would need to use your own discretion on because I cannot know this persons complex identity and how they might react. Try your best and be open minded and loving. That’s the best we can do for others even though they don’t always respond in kind. So keep that in your head I wish you and your friend well I hope that your relationship grows stronger and healthier for all parties. :)

Someone , you are beginning to look like a creep