You’re welcome 😊🙏

Probably because for the first time you are noticing your disconnection from your breath and body, and the discomforts of being here and not there ( in thoughts, in busy mode of doing) and you are reckoned to meet yourself in the stillness. This is normal for most of us, especially if we have trauma stored in our bodies through repression of emotions and feelings from early childhood. Thich Banh Hanh used to say " sitting meditation is not a punishment, you are sitting, resting and enjoying your sitting", so relax your mind when things gets claustrophobic when you fixate on your breath and body sensation. The point is to let go of the fixation. Touch the space, the spaciousness by opening your eyes and taking in what's here and then go back to breath and body. Gradually, it will get easier to go inwards without overwhelming aversion. 🙌🏽🙏🏽

The mind, soul and flesh are three separate components that appear to be as One., when one's awareness/character is animating a single body made of dense physical material. The most horrific of illusions that's played out over and over again in almost every life is having no choice but to identify as these momentary vessel's. "God" is a recently (relatively speaking) fertilized egg from within a higher vibrational plane of existence. All realms, awarenesses and realities stem from that singular point of conception. There's no reason to fear, kill over or worship that which "you" are already a part of. Don't confuse "your" self with the animal in the mirror., that's not who or what "you" are. Lastly, medication is mostly used to treat what "professionals" have no clue about., all it is to "them" is trial-and-error and illusory profit.

I hope you can stay with meditations one breath at a time. Even a count to ten or a three minute meditation. I've read just the intention to meditate is enough, is of benefit. Wishing you peace in your days in and out of any meditation.

It helps to just observe your thoughts only. Do not think... feel your presence and forget everything else. You will be OK.

Be gentle, light as a butterfly. Do not concentrate so intensely on the breath; you could not forget to do it, as it is more like being breathed into than forcing yourself to breathe. Have no fear about it as you have been doing it since birth. Relax and enjoy it; it's a built-in pacifier, a refuge. All your thinking is a work-product - it's difficult to see it as abstract, made of symbolic logic and representations of reality if one is identified with one's successful career and accomplishments. Take a break from work and be on a beach or cushion or anyplace where a mental to-do list will not interfere. It can be helpful to have a mental image of a candle flame, or a phrase, sound or mantra to focus on so that the thoughts cannot hijack your mind. Be patient and kind with it all.

@@rickysantosjr4380 I also wonder about the mistrust. I guess we are when we are. It's taken me several decades to discover so much that now seems shoulda been obvious. I used to be oblivious. I'm so very grateful!