Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up | A Conversation with Abigail Shrier

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Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up | A Conversation with Abigail Shrier

Рет қаралды 15,264

Күн бұрын

In their efforts to ensure their children's happiness, a growing number of millennial and Gen X parents are turning to therapists, school psychologists, and other mental health professionals for help. Yet there is mounting evidence that this therapeutic turn has backfired. Rather than inculcate the virtues of self-discipline and independence, these efforts have yielded a generation of children filled with anxiety, isolation, and a profound sense of helplessness-and in her new book "Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up," Abigail Shrier explains why.
After speaking with hundreds of parents and adolescents, drawing on psychiatric studies and literature, in addition to her own lived experience with friends and family, Abigail offers a powerful critique of the booming mental health industry, and offers an alternate vision for fostering healthy, hard-working, and resilient children. In this special episode of Manhattan Insights, The Free Press Senior Editor Emily Yoffe (moderator) sits down with Abigail to discuss her findings.
Abigail Shrier is the author of the new book, "Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up." She received the Barbara Olson Award for Excellence and Independence in Journalism in 2021. Her best-selling book, "Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters" (2020), was named a “Best Book” by The Economist and the Times (of London). It has been translated into ten languages. She holds an A.B. from Columbia College, where she received the Euretta J. Kellett Fellowship; a B.Phil. from the University of Oxford; and a J.D. from Yale Law School. She has written for the Manhattan Institute’s City Journal for a number of years.
(Recorded on Wednesday, February 28th, 2024)
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Пікірлер: 96

@patriot4usall 4 ай бұрын

Feels good to have my thoughts validated. I'm impressed.

@mygaygenes 2 ай бұрын

@patriot4usall Yes!

@FunkyMunky-w2m 12 күн бұрын

Same!

@WillowT442 2 ай бұрын

They ask parents to leave the room because parents are often the cause of mental health distress. My parents contributed to increasing my anxiety and depression. My parents were neglectful. Parents do not OWN their children. Children are not extensions of the parent. Children are individuals. I am a parent myself. I found thar respecting and trusting my children did wonders to help them grow to independence.

@user-ec4py9io3s Ай бұрын

This is a valid stance to take IF the relevant authorities are acting wisely and well.

@Andrea-zm1nl Ай бұрын

I mostly agree with you. With one exception. The reality is that a parent does actually own their child. You write them off as a tax deduction each year just like a home, or a piece of land, and just like a large breed dog, a parent is financially responsible for the things a child does. Technically a child is property. However, the right thing to do is to raise a child as if they are not property.

@tboogie44 Ай бұрын

If I’m the one that’s going to be held liable for the actions of my children then, yeah, I own them. When they become fully liable for their own actions then they’re on their own.

@Cavemandruid942 Ай бұрын

@@tboogie44 Couldn't agree more.

@FunkyMunky-w2m 12 күн бұрын

Parents own children who are minors actually so🙄 ya not when they're adults. Obviously they have a responsibility to treat their kids decently that not all parents live up to. One could only trust their kids if they taught and loved them well first.

@pertlob 4 ай бұрын

A lot of obvious issuess but in modern, bizarre world even obvious things can become controversial for some people. I like courageous authors therefore I am going to read the book.

@DanielCrandallPhotographer 3 ай бұрын

It turns out… "Growing up is actually the cure for adolescent angst!" (5:35)

@debblouin 3 ай бұрын

The phone thing: why can’t kids get a non-smartphone with no data, just phone?

@MaryC-co8fm 4 ай бұрын

I am in the mental health field, and I agree with the concerns expressed here. I would discourage any parent from taking their child or teen to a therapist. Most therapists are poorly trained (it's very easy to become a therapist) and are very biased to the very far Left. The issue also is that many states do not allow therapists to say, "You're not transgendered. Middle school is hard," as the author suggests. They can get a Board complaint and even lose their licenses for saying so. Another reason to stay far away from therapists.

@commandershepard7728 2 ай бұрын

1000000000% doubt you are in the "mental health field" if anything you are probably a preacher's wife who turns the other cheek while he diddles kids....thats your "mental health" background. Very "easy" you say..well at least in my red-neck wasteland of a state here is what you need to be a therapist. 1. Acquire a bachelor’s degree 2. Earn a master's degree 3. Complete post-graduate supervision hours 4. Pass the licensing exam SoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO easy, right ,Karen?

@dharmaqueen7877 Ай бұрын

It's smart to live with family in the current economy.

@robbpowell194 4 ай бұрын

You provided a thought-provoking and helpful survey.

@pabloguzman8472 4 ай бұрын

the "asking about suicide doesnt increase the chance" is actually for clinicians, for psychologists and psychiatrists when someone is talking about suicide or has already done something, its for enabling that conversation in that context, it was not meant for widespread suicide questioning via forms

@pickleweasel8604 3 ай бұрын

In high school we had several bomb threats and we milked every instance of it crying to the teachers about how scared we were, anything to keep classes from resuming and as long as the teachers were eating the bs we fed it to them. This was mid 90s so I can only imagine how kids are able to coordinate crying wolf in the cell phone era...Tom Sawyer on steroids 😂

@Gorgonzeye 2 ай бұрын

And if they do it enough they start to believe it themselves and then enter a fragility spiral.

@WillowT442 2 ай бұрын

The unemployment numbers only appear so low. It took my 20 year old son 5 months to find a part time low paying job. Politicians and academics are not in touch with what is really going on.

@GratefulOptimist-mv2ex Ай бұрын

Yes, they are. 🙂

@Cavemandruid942 Ай бұрын

today you need qualifications, certificates, or anything that shows you have experience or knowledge. It is very competitive in todays economy. Thus if he wants to make it I recommend looking into trade schools (consistently always needed and fairly cheap to get your foot into school compared to an actual degree). It sucks being told at 20 that you dont have any qualifications but its true as an employeer I will take the man with experience and age over a young buck needing to learn. Plus people are more likely to hire full time rather than part time. I understand what you mean and it sucks im not saying that its not hard to find a job. Its just that it requires more effort than it used to where you could just walk up and apply for the job and get on the spot. Times are changing.

@bretho3596 4 ай бұрын

Hows the Swedish model that was touted as the way, turning out ? Thanks to the Author for giving this talk. As an employer employing schoolies... this is bang on. Not all kids, but knowing the family backgrounds. The difference is like night and day. ❤

@NealFox 3 ай бұрын

Instead of "being in touch with your feelings, " you should be practicing creating your feelings. Be Cause instead of Effect.

@FunkyMunky-w2m 12 күн бұрын

It's all about balance..one key way to change your feelings when it's important is diversion.

@Cavemandruid942 Ай бұрын

Survival instincts can be one hell of a sum bitch. Got kicked out at 17 and instantly had to lock in even if my brain didnt want to. Its the access to having a way out of any situation (living with parents, not growing up) My grandmother treated me like a flightless baby bird. Either you make it or you don't when thrown out the house and there isnt a single day that goes by that im not grateful for the tough love she gave me. It sucked but atleast I can take care of myself now and handle more stress than I would have before.

@mokeboi3328 3 ай бұрын

Bravo. All common sense.

@GratefulOptimist-mv2ex Ай бұрын

Similarly, children are 'helped' by introducing them to the subject of 'cutting', it was normalized as a coping strategy by introducing it to children otherwise unaware of the topic.

@happydog6537 4 ай бұрын

It’s not brave, or courageous to tell the truth. It’s just the truth. At the same time it is cowardly and almost traitorous to know the truth and not speak it.

@marciariley7373 4 ай бұрын

Because I said so!

@et1016 Ай бұрын

“No, you’re not”, that’s my response as a therapist. These kids are so messed up.

@theroamingsavage8813 4 ай бұрын

Unfortunately parents now are BEYOND lazy. They would rather feed their kids pills than actually enforce boundaries and raise them.

@Jan_Mac 4 ай бұрын

Certain types of parents are like this and they're in the minimum group of "lazy parents". Your statement is toward ALL parents and I'm wondering why?

@pabloguzman8472 4 ай бұрын

they cant even put boundaries to themselves and you want them to put boundaries to their kids

@gustavus0013 4 ай бұрын

Whats wrong with pills?

@FunkyMunky-w2m 12 күн бұрын

@@gustavus0013they have long term dangers of permanent damage (.e.g ADHD drugs), they can also make a lot of mental health problems worse the warnings are even in the side effects, they can also be deadly (yes anti-depressants)

@grawakendream8980 2 ай бұрын

what she's saying is music to the ears of obstinate bullies, abusers, rigidly and emotionally blind people who seek to strengthen enablement endorsement from society to to continue to victimize the vulnerable. it's great to say kids need to grow up, people need to grow out of it and move on, when it's someone else. when it's something she is struggling with and would like support on, i guess that's different. that's the problem with this line of thinking, it's not honest imo

@dharmaqueen7877 Ай бұрын

It is necessary to grow up to defend yourself against abuse. The only other alternative is to remain in a permanently childish and vulnerable state. Being angry over a fact doesn't make it not a fact.

@grawakendream8980 Ай бұрын

@@dharmaqueen7877 saying there are only two options is absolutist thinking imo. you want to be vulnerable, that's how you connect with people in a healthy way. but obviously it's a balance

@FunkyMunky-w2m 12 күн бұрын

She said there are people who need help..

@FunkyMunky-w2m 12 күн бұрын

@@grawakendream8980she meant overly vulnerable, like vulnerable/susceptible to abuse

@DynoStorm 4 ай бұрын

Comments arere larded. Very based talk

@Gorgonzeye 2 ай бұрын

Took me until my 30s to stop having night terrors about school.

@Andrea-zm1nl Ай бұрын

Really? That's pathetic. You know, people used to have to go off to war and watch their comrades get blown to bits or have survived some horrific event to end up with PTSD. Now we, humans that is, are so mentally weak and emotionally imature that experiencing normal childhood bullying is enough to do it.😑🙄😑🙄

@Gorgonzeye Ай бұрын

@@Andrea-zm1nl Or maybe you don't know jack shit and school is genuinely worse than having somebody standing next to you bisected or turned into chunky salsa, since I would actually know.

@FunkyMunky-w2m 12 күн бұрын

@Andrea-zm1nl there are many factors that go into why some people develop ptsd due to certain things..we really can't judge other people's experiences. There are people tortured by years for bullies at home. If they didn't get support, maybe also abused at home or something, that can be scarring. That is not what Abigail meant, she is a reasonable person..she clearly meant like normal stress or distress in school or in life and then it being exaggerated or overhauled overvalidated by therapists etc. so that people feel like any bad memories is "ptsd" etc. PTSD is real and can be caused by many things not just war.

@Andrea-zm1nl 12 күн бұрын

@@FunkyMunky-w2m I am aware of that. I was making a point about the mental and emotional fragility of young people in today's world versus any other time in human history. The young people today are snowflakes compared to all of human history. And my humble opinion is that this reality is pathetic.

@FunkyMunky-w2m 12 күн бұрын

@@Andrea-zm1nl your general point has truth in it but you can't undiscerningly apply that to like all people and all situations. PTSD is a phenomenon that someone cannot help, they can't help where it came from, and nightmares can be a most insidious feature of it. So that is so ridiculous you're shaming someone for something like that that they can't help. You cannot lump all people and their experiences together e.g. with school. I had a horrible experience in middle school but it didn't leave me Ptsd. A lot of times kids who get bullied and stuff are very severely abused at home which both makes them more vulnerable to it and compounds it. There is a wide spectrum of bullying just like everything else. For some people, school was a little akin to a warzone. There is a wide spectrum of ptsd as well. It might not be as bad as a war veteran, that doesn't mean it's not real, damaging, an insidious. I'm sure people got ptsd sometimes from things like bullying in the old days too they just didn't know about ptsd back then..or there wasn't as severe a bullying going on, because people weren't so heartless and wicked as so many are now

@matthewloffredo 4 ай бұрын

@physiologyfirst7809 you guys should do a podcast together ❤

@sheilamattimoeriedy1670 28 күн бұрын

What about text only phones?

@FunkyMunky-w2m 12 күн бұрын

I have heard there's always a way to connect to internet on modern phones that kids find. I think

@sheilamattimoeriedy1670 8 күн бұрын

@@FunkyMunky-w2m I agree with your point about kids but what about kids who aren't allowed to have phones? Not a way kids want to stand out. Thanks for the reply

@seroquelchamber 4 ай бұрын

algorithm you seem to be woefully confused

@Spock_Rogers 2 ай бұрын

I'm sure you're against eating meat and dairy, which are loaded with hormones.

@Graci719 3 ай бұрын

It's extremely POOR PSYCHOLOGY

@ChelseaCummings-fl4lu 2 ай бұрын

It's society at large that is to blame... All markers have been rising for generations their just coming off the rails now... Our society is broken one of the reasons their intentionally collapsing it haha

@commandershepard7728 2 ай бұрын

Yep the problem with Roman was all those trans kids , amrite!

@GratefulOptimist-mv2ex Ай бұрын

Society is made up of PEOPLE.

@FunkyMunky-w2m 12 күн бұрын

The intro woman is very creepy (before the interview), I almost didn't watch. Abigail is very brave, I admire her very much❤ But it is so dangerous to have kids go out on their own like out of the neighborhood etc. these days, we are literally under an invasion of illegals and skyrocketing sex trafficking ALL over the country, it's in the news =/

@tsb7911 12 күн бұрын

Crime is actually down. News isn't news anymore. It's sensationalistic garbage.

@olympiaelda1121 4 ай бұрын

Since when are the kids not hard working?

@Andrea-zm1nl Ай бұрын

Since the no child left behind act made it impossible for a child to fail a subject or a grade. Since we started handing out participation trophies to everyone on a child's sports team. What we have done for almost thirty years now is teach children that all they have to do to succeed is just show up. The young people I am forced to work with can't cope with the reality that you have to actually work to get paid. I see this crap every day.

@DannyBoy443 2 ай бұрын

I’m getting a little tired of seeing someone push a book like this who isn’t a trained clinician. She makes valid points, but I just can’t take her seriously when she isn’t a professional clinician.

@commandershepard7728 2 ай бұрын

"Shrier is the daughter of Peter B. Krauser and Sherrie L. Krauser, both judges in the state of Maryland." She is a propagandist

@FunkyMunky-w2m 12 күн бұрын

She includes research and interviews by clinicians..I'm sure a lot of what she's sharing is from that. A lot of what she is saying is common sense wisdom from reviewing things..free country, people can share their opinions. You're failing to grasp the point that there is pervasive corruption from within therapy/psychologym.so who is going to critique it? Their education/training is partly corrupted, that's part of the root problem. I have read a lot of psychologists..some have offered critique but most don't much. These matters are partly the role of journalists

@BigBADSTUFF69 4 ай бұрын

As an adult, therapy has really helped me. It's hard to imagine this book being anything more than propaganda for a very specific ideology. The kids saying they have "ptsd" aren't getting diagnosed by a phychiatrist, they are hearing some BS on the playground or probably Tik Tok. This book is really bordering on irresponsible because it's based on correlation and assumptions. This book isn't science based yet tries to critique science. You really can't do that and the only people that will take this seriously are folks who just have no idea and would be swayed by any kind of propaganda. You can't effectively critique 100 years of science by writing a pop science book and not doing any of you r own science, everything the author brings up in this interview is based on anecdote and assumption.

@seroquelchamber 4 ай бұрын

you saying kids who claim to have ptsd are being diagnosed online is a correlation based on assumptions. while i agree with you about most of your comment, its extremely reductive to have such a valid point and tarnish it with that weird bias. there are a lot of children diagnosed with mental health disorders. i have been accused of "making it up" since i first started being treated for my issues, way before the prime era of social media. one thing always remains when kids say they need help - adults come in and say they dont and their kids mirror them until its an echo chamber of "shut up" until its "why didnt they ask for help before?" anyway

@user-LAflare 4 ай бұрын

Cool well said. I just think it's obvious youth ego suicides are up... Open to discussion

@Tom-tq9pt 4 ай бұрын

I use to do therapy a lot and it was great. Back in the 90s and even 2000s everywhere you went it was always a psychiatrist or PHD level psychologist. Now it’s impossible to find therapy that isn’t done by a girl who is a few years out of college. You have to ask…why? They can’t possibly be providing the same level of care with half of the training.

@sflasaint811 4 ай бұрын

It’s not science.

@HerWanderlust 4 ай бұрын

Your comment shows how very little you know about the creation of therapeutic practice (it is all experimentation and quite new/young compared to other ways of “helping and healing” that are time tested over thousands of years…)…just like the rest of the medical field