Task switching is a big one. I have ADHD + autism, and many of the things you bring up are entirely relatable

For me it's like....I guess it's an executive dysfunction thing. The shower doesn't bother me in a sensory way way but DEAR GOD it's so hard to make myself get up and do it when I first get up. I DO IT but I literally struggle so much.

I find my ability to adult depends on how many spoons I have/ how well rested I am/ my anxiety levels/ my mood levels. Some days things are a bit easier to get done, other days I just can't do more than survive. 💚

I've gotten myself into a regular routine of showering every four days as that's when my hair gets too gross for comfort, but OMG starting that process on the day is awful! I find it so so upsetting too when the shower isn't clean, hot, and high pressure... Anyone else also just HATE staying over at someone else's house? I have nothing I need there! I'm not prepared!

When I was young people thought I was stuck-up because I didn't say hi back to them. I would imagine that sometimes I wasn't aware they hadn't spoken to me, but I also know it was because I spoke so softly they didn't hear me. I am now 71. In the last 10 years or so my previous co-workers and my husband are much more likely to ask me to lower my voice. As you stated, unaware and unable to control. Related to many things here. Thank you

The food struggle is horrible. Like, I buy everything! I live alone! I should like my options, right? But I don't.

I related most to the part about grocery shopping being overwhelming and following a recipe taking too much mental energy. And I never know what I feel like eating either!

I know where every convenient bathroom is in various areas of town because all of a sudden.....I have to pee! I tend to do that a lot and when I have to go...I have to go NOW!

Am the same with showers. I hate showering. Not the actual shower itself but the afterwards feeling freezing cold and drying myself off. I currently am suffering from a cold I think I picked up at the job centre last Wednesday or on the bus or bus station and because I have felt like shit the last 5 days I haven't washed at all. I not even kept my hair tidy. Just haven't been bothered. I hate being ill. I barely left my flat the last week because I am so ill. Hate being sick.

I have also been told to stop shouting so many times by people and been unaware i was and i can also relate to not being loud enough when meeting strangers so when i do i pray they heard me because when i hear the words, what? or pardon?. I feel like dying on the spot knowing i have to say it again 😂

Fuckin' same. Been struggling with personal hygiene and daily chores for as long as I can remember. I dunno what your local council is like but my council has been super supportive of me. They hooked me up with an experienced and understanding social worker, who then referred me to a private care company called Agincare and got the council to fund the whole lot. Now people visit me daily who are helping me sort my life out, they listen to me and understand my issues with anxiety + executive dysfunction. They're helping me plan my day, do things in public a bit more and get the stuff done that my PDA brain has a hissy fit about, like personal hygiene, cooking, cleaning etc. They don't quietly do things for me, they actively support me which is great, it's what I think I've needed for a long time - people to actually hold me accountable for the things I can do and help me with the things I can't. I struggle a lot with social anxiety but for some reason when I know their job is to help me the anxiety just fizzles away and I don't shut up about my problems lol.

Showers, I have temp regulation problems too. Sometime I have to get into a hot shower just get warm again, I literally can't get warm even under pile of blankets. I can be cold when it's +30 Celsius out.

Many neurodivergent people struggle with many aspects of life beyond social and academic skills, more so than a lot of people would realize. So it's definitely great that you speak on these issues and get the word out there. I'm dyspraxic and struggle with personal hygiene and household organization but probably for different reasons than what you endorse with your unique autistic variant. I don't know how well I can speak for other dyspraxics in this regard but in my case, it's more of a case where motor and executive function impairments just slow down every thing I do, making simple things like showering shaving, preparing meals, etc very expensively time consuming. I do shower and shave daily and for health reasons, prepare all of my meals from scratch, using raw minimally processed ingredients. But I just wish it didn't take me so long. I often lament how much life I miss out on because everything takes me so long to properly execute.

In regards to shopping, and meal prep, I will only shop at stores I’m comfortable with, and typically buy the exact same items. The store clerks laugh with me, about that predictability. In school, I ate a boloney sandwich/white bread, +same chips+same drink, nearly every day, for four years. It never got old.

Thank you for vocalizing my struggles in such a nice way. now i can finally communicate what the fuck is going on in my brain every day while "i'm being lazy". i'll just show them this video

It took me decades to realize I don't have to do several things every day to have okay hygiene, i could do part of one thing at a time as I have the energy for it. There'd been pressure to do all the things normal people do all the time, but usually "all" actually means "some" to them. They just cherrypick the data and call the rest "exceptions." It's like claiming you scored 100% on 3/4 of a test. They just seem to genuinely believe themselves, and judge us for identifying our imperfections.

OKAY like, I genuninely thought I just somehow, was really friggin' quiet & I just need to constantly, be so conscious of projecting my voice *every single time* lol WOW, I had no idea that was an autism thing. I am relating to so much in this video 🌸

Absolutely relate to the task switching thing, especially for stuff I want to do/love doing. It can be incredibly hard to make myself start something even if I really want to do it, but once I am able to get started I do it for like 4-6 hours straight without breaks. I also really struggle with volume regulation. I frequently get very loud and only realize how I am talking and the volume after I've already embarrassed myself, and sometimes I get very quiet and cannot make myself speak any louder.

I definitely get the toilet thing. Before I understood that I'm autistic it would confuse people when I would ask "what if I need the toilet?" And they would respond "Do you need the toilet?" And I would say "I don't think so, but what if I do?" For them it didn't matter because they could understand their bodily signals and find a toilet within plenty of time. But for me, I need to know where the toilet is ahead of time so that I can go as soon as I need to.

Showering for me is difficult because I as an autistic woman with five other diagnosed disabilities outside of autism, have fine motor skill issues in both of my hands that makes getting the shampoo I use out of my hair more difficult and/or it takes me so long to finish washing and using conditioner or apple cider vinegar after washing my hair with shampoo, that I feel I only have e time to squeeze enough Dr. Bronner's Unscented baby mild soap on a silicone cleaner and put enough water to make it suds all over the rest of body except for my hair and face. I also have introception issues. I usually cannot tell when I am hungry and when I am full. I also tend to feel pain worst than it is. I cannot deal with chlorine bleach along with cleaners that are bleach based and ammonia and ammonia based cleaners. Those are too strong smelling for me along with certain smells like farts and poop smells smelling too strong for me. I tend to hear things louder than there are or softer than they are depending on the situation. Yelling to me is too loud for me. I tend to like a lot of flavor on my foods outside of soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper and Dale's seasoning (that I cannot stand the taste if ever). I cannot eat cow's milk and goat's milk in any form since 2018 since my body reacts badly to it that has nothing to do with my autism and 4 other diagnosed disabilities outside of autism. I can for some reason eat buffalo/water buffalo milk and sheep's milk in any form without waking up in the morning having to deal with a stuff runny nose that needs to be blone by a tissue some or a lot. I finally have to use adaptive equipment like an adaptive cutting board with a rocker knife to be able to help cut up fruits and vegetables in different ways. I forgot to mention I have problems with cleaning the inside top of my toilet because I have problems seeing the top of the inside of the toilet nearest me easily even though I have 20/20 vision. I finally own a toilet brush that is bent on the side of it that is supposed to make cleaning the top inside rim of the toilet easier for me. I just need to find the right toilet tab or toilet spray to clean the inside of the toilet better for me.

Thank you for talking about showers, it takes me hours to get into the shower, i shower twice a week. I hate being cold and the sound and feel of the shower water.

Girl, I totally get what you mean!

I'm not autistic (I don't think), I probably have a few of the common traits though, but I do have ADHD and it gets so boring just learning about my own neurodivergence sometimes, and I have a few friends on the spectrum, so I'm glad I stumbled across you're channel... Very interesting videos and I find some of it pretty relatable! I have the same thing I think but with hunger and thirst where I'll think I'm hungry or thirsty but then won't be able to recognise when I'm no longer thirsty or full so I'll just keep eating till I feel stuffed a lot of the time or wind up starving hungry an hour later and I'll either drink too much water in one go and then feel a bit sick, or drink too little and get very headachy. Then when it comes rk temperature I'm never a comfortable temperature. I'm constantly fluctuating between feeling too hot then too cold than too hot again depending on what I'm doing and I have shit circulation, so the rest of me can be a comfortable temperature while I've lost all feeling in my hands. Showering is the absolute worst! For me I hate the before and after so much, the actual showering feels good usually. I have eczema and the hot water massively drys out my skin so I basically have to drown myself in moisturising cream afterwards (which takes ages!) and wander around the house basically in the nude for half an hour so it can set in, so by the rime I eventually get dressed I'm absolutely freezing and my extremities have usually gone numb and because I haven't showered in absolutely ages, that takes ages too- so basically I never have the time and put it off so much till I feel gross enough that it motivates me to hop in the shower. Absolutely dispise it! I think it would be so much easier to do if I didn't have exzema though 😢

Also, I can't do the cooking and house cleaning. I've never been able to cook meals. So, my husband, who is actually also Autistic, has to cook all my means for me, and house clean. so, there's that, too.

My sleep schedule got messed up 4 days ago and I still haven't recovered mentally from waking up a couple hours later than usual 🙃 Also last week I went to go get some snacks from the convenience store (I was starving and leaving the house is a Big Deal), only to realize I forgot my wallet, which meant I didn't eat and now I can never go back there again lol. Huge meltdown. It takes so long to bounce back from setbacks.

Showering i sometimes split up, so doing my hair a different moment than my lower torso. Also, as with many chores as well, to make myself doing chores i for example brew some tea in advance, so when i am done it looks like someone treats me with tea, it is myself, but it helps me keep going. Supermarket also very relatable, i hate doing groceries and the overwelming choise or dissapointment if it's not available.

thanks for talking about all that. I am horrible at task switching.

The biggest issue I have interpersonally is being spontaneous. I can do it for myself, like adding a shopping stop on my way home or getting some snack, but if I'm asked to go do something, for an unknown amount of time, to a potentially unknown place, without my car, it's a huge drain even if I have fun. Then I'm down and exhausted for up to a week, or longer if other stuff is going on in my life. I've had a few relationships fizzle out because I get comfortable and yet am always in recovery mode. It's honestly a nightmare to date, even more so than meeting new people I'm not going to date.

Lately my interoception issue has been hunger signals. I get this irritated feeling that I can't pinpoint, and then I see what time it is and go, "Shit, I haven't had lunch and it's nearly 1pm!" And clumsiness, too. I'm amazed that I haven't broken a toe given how many times I've stubbed them on furniture legs, doorways, or other random objects.

I loved seeing your cat doing the Flying Leap across the room during your intro!! It was a lovely chuckle 😊 opomom

My sensory issues around personal hygiene are worse than those around showering lol, that’s the only reason I manage to shower everyday 😂 I also have thick/long hair that I only wash once every one to two weeks (that I tend to put off until I can no longer take it); the rest of the time I put it up so it doesn’t get wet BECAUSE wet hair is one of my worst sensory triggers 😬

Defiantly relatable to showering, don't think Ive showered much over this winter, do also struggle with my volume and don't know my own strength too >.>

I have a lot of the same food issues. I can't plan ahead, I have no idea what food I will be able to eat or what energy I will have to prepare it. The hungrier I am, the less I can eat. My functioning drops until I am in full shutdown. If I go to the store, I am exhausted for days after. I can't make a list or plan ahead so my husband can shop as I need to look at everything to compare prices and quality and to know what to eat. Yet, most weeks, I don't have the energy to leave home. If I am away from home, I can't plan what to bring and can't manage prices going out. Plus, I have allergies and many sensitivities. I agree. It is a real struggle.

I struggle with showers too as I just dont like the feel of water on my skin. I can't stand Lound car engine sounds and ambulance or pig sirens.

Oh mi'god! This is nuts! You're *me*! It's like watching *meself* tell others about *my* life!... Uncanny. I'm *literally* stunned. I feel so seen AND called out, rn. Like it's endlessly validating & comforting to know that it's not just me, that someone else 'gets it'; But it's just as shameful and cringey to see one's own greatest issues 'publicly broadcast' like that, as well. I hope that makes sense; I don't mean to come off rude. I just have alot of shame around it. But it feels incredible to've found this video, and I want to encourage you, congratulate you and praise you for your honesty, bravery and effort & commitment to putting this content out here, for others - like me - to find!

I hate cooking. Too many steps but the worst part is they have to be done at the right time and my brain doesn't process time correctly so it is very hard to do. I used to make big salads. No time related cooking involved. But since I got physical health problems even salads are hard.

I struggle with showering too. I hate being dirty and I get self conscious about it, but I often times avoid it even if I really want to. I hate being wet and I hate being cold even more. I have curly hair so my hair also takes hours to dry and if I don’t dry it properly or wear something that can catch the drips the water will run down my neck and send me into fits. I only shower at night because of that and because I can’t stand putting clothes over my still damp skin. The only comfy clothes in that case are either none or something very loose, which I normally don’t like to wear out of the house. If I have to rush, I won’t shower. If I’m in the shower, I love it so much I have to soak up every hot steamy second and quick showers take away all the enjoyment which, in my mind, makes it pointless. And god forbid I live somewhere where the water goes cold after 10 minutes. Showers haven’t been a simple affair for me ever and it’s very stressful. That said, recently I’ve been taking them nearly every day since I’ve been working at my new job. It’s kind of a warehouse/retail job and the place is dirt incarnate. I have to kneel and sit on the floor a lot throughout the day and there isn’t a moment I’m not fully cognizant of the filth and grime on me. Even when I wash my hands multiple times they still feel dirty. All I can think of by the time I get home is washing it all away so I can relax again, so it’s become a core part of my routine. Now I get more stressed out if I don’t shower. Edit: I also struggle with brushing and flossing my teeth. I’ve gotten into it as a part of my routine in the last couple years but it’s still a heave and a ho to get me there and I’m mostly motivated by the fear of losing them. I hate how it feels, mint hurts and tastes bad, and the blood that comes from flossing also tastes bad and makes me feel nauseous. I do it every day now and it helps that I’ve gotten to a point where the taste in my mouth when I wake up feels worse and I feel thrown off and can’t sleep if I can feel plaque in my mouth. It wasn’t always this way because I’d struggle with transitioning from being comfy in my bed to going into the bathroom to subject myself to mild torture. But now I spend all my time in the basement which means I have to go upstairs and past the bathroom to get to my room, so I may as well stop in on the way. The proximity makes the difference for me. It’s been quite a journey and I’ve come a long way. I hope I can maintain these good habits when I inevitably have to move again.

def relate to the showering. i used to shower twice a day when i thought i was a functioning adult and now i can never remember the last time i did.

Part of what stresses me out about showering is any changes. If the curtain moves due to the water pressure (and especially if it touches me), if a bottle slides, if my razor falls off, or especially if the water temp changes, it sends me. I must control the entire environment, and if it changes during an event that already stresses me out and takes so much energy, then I’m done. Also, I spend at least ten minutes total in the shower taking the every little strand hair off my hands 😅

I don’t have strength, can’t even open a bloody coke bottle lol

I have a thing where (miraculously), I shower every day. Didn’t realize that is a struggle with people on asd. But my thing is I really don’t feel like eating or starting breakfast, etc. until I’ve showered, shaved, brushed my teeth, etc. If I try to eat in between steps I get thrown off and don’t do so well. It took me until about a year ago to realize trouble with transitions is a thing. (I’m 55) my last family vacation a few months ago I would wake up a few hours early to shower and I was usually done with breakfast as the rest of the people in our air b and b were waking up. All cause I can’t stand eating unless I’m clean first. I don’t know how others do it. And one reason I bring all this up, I can feel the struggle is there. Right below the surface. So before I do anything else, (even if I’m running late), I force myself to get it over with first.

Kitty is like, hi mom! Whatcha doing?

Thank you so much. Personal hygine is a huge problem, and I push it away as far as I can. All of it is a problem - brushing teeth, washing hair (never in the shower, I can't stand the touch of wet hair - stand bend over to wash it), clipping nails... And, as you said, it's a thing where I'm ashamed to mention it anyone, I pretend I'm doing stuff sometimes so others don't think I'm such a huge slob, A day/moment when I can push one more day to not do it is my little victory. I am OK with shopping once I finally leave the house, but I choose hours with fewer people. I eat more or less similar things, but always must have a few options, as I don't know what I will like. I force myself to cook for multiple days, freeze some, so I don't have to waste the time to cook. I live with my Mom (also autistic, but I also have ADHD, so different) and it forces me to do stuff I hate for her sake. I feel if I lived alone, I would be eating much worse than now. All the other things - "screaming", unusual strength, inability to switch tasks, to clean around the house (waste of time), etc.

Dammit!! how are you so similar to me. I dislike (bordering on hating) the act of showering, but really like being clean. Although I really like cooking & baking, the speed it just dissolves into a melt-down is ridiculous. "Why do I feel so dam crap? Oh yeah I haven't eaten or drunk for 6 hours."

I can also move furniture quite easily until my eds started effecting me too badly. The volume of my voice is definitely annoying too. Thx you bring up great points and I love how honest and frank you are😊

The way I find myself relating more and more to you for every video of yours, pertaining to ASD, that I watch. ...On top of that, I'm quite literally watching this as I'm putting off showering and the point you made about body temperature regulation throughout the entire showering process is SO real and accurate to my experience aswell. I'm glad someone else seems to be sharing practically all of my autistic traits and hardships, whilst openly articulating them like this, it definitely helps me feel more validated. ❤️

Shaving my head completely was one of the best things I've done. Luckily I also loved the way I looked too. I regrew my hair out of peer pressure. So many asking when I'm growing my "loveky curle back". That question would make me cry, they made me feel like I looked terrible with a shaved head.

Despite having an Aspergers (now Autism Spectrum) diagnosis I think I've changed as a person since I got it. I've become more neurotypical and been able to cope more. The main problem for me is if I don't have anybody living with me to make me accountable to myself I start to struggle. A lot. I'm not a very independent person. I have sensory issues around certain textures of food still and around large crowds and lots of noise which make me very anxious. Also feel the cold a lot more and tend to sweat a lot when its incredibly warm in Summer. I constantly switch between doing things to the point where I don't finish them too!

Rechargeable candle lights are quite good for portable, gentle light. Probably quite safe in a bathroom too as very little voltage I would think. A quick and easy solution until you decide on other options. Otherwise cheap plastic sunglasses?

That's interesting that you would mention temperature regulation problems today. I've been freaking out and taking my temperature every 10 minutes since yesterday when I just happened to take my temperature and it was 95.5. That's only half a degree before mild hypothermia is diagnosed. I'm 98.4 degrees right now, which is good, but it fluctuates between 98.5 and 95.5. I'm keeping my eye on it as I've never noticed that before on me. Now I'm repetively taking my temperature. My hands and feet get cold but that in and of itself doesn't seem to affect the core body temperature on me because it can be high or low even if my hands are hot or cold. I'm on a new medication for my ADHD but everything I read about it says it can raise body temperature at the same time as causing coldness in the extremities. I'm actually significantly worried but I struggle with worry anyways. If I don't have something to worry about....I'll find something to worry about. I'm AuDHD with a splash of OCD.

I believe that once society (at large) accepts and understands autism, that a lot of its problems will be solved. I hope your videos will bring more understanding to (NT) people so they'll / can understand it better, even if it is a little bit, that is better than nothing, and a whole lot better than the opposite (such as hate and over pathologization). Although I agree it will take effort to create an understanding, I think they'll manage, if they want to.

I don’t have a mid range on the voice either people can’t hear me and they say I mumble… default or When I actually have to project my voice to be heard then I’m told are. you’re yelling at me. 😢 I found that the voice issue for me is more that I don’t seem to have the breath capacity to speak in the mid range it really hurts actually when I have to yell and it’s really hard on me so I’m very low voice actually is my COPD default maybe more than autism but I’m also not aware that I’m yelling or I appear that I’m yelling when I’m trying to project my voice so a lack of self-awareness is likely autism🤷‍♀️ And yes it’s either too hot or too cold Goldilocks does not happen in my life of just write very often but it’s so nice when it does. And yes the not knowing you need to urinate until the very last minute is quite traumatizing actually and while I can tell you it doesn’t get better with age and only gets worse I’m 60 and it’s a lot worse🤷‍♀️ And I’m so extremely sensitive to sense that I have the diagnosis of multiple chemical sensitivity but I also get the sensitivity reaction and qualify for the mast cell activation diagnosis so it just kind of goes together and then it’s like but is that just a part of autism they seem to hang out together🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ Having to transition just totally sucks. Can’t get yourself to go to bed can’t get yourself to get out of bed can’t get yourself to go to work can’t get yourself to leave work it has nothing to do with wanting to do something it’s just the transition. Same with the shower don’t wanna get in the shower don’t wanna get out of the shower there doesn’t seem to be any boundaries with this one don’t want to start eating don’t want to Decide what to eat but then once I’m eating I don’t want to stop eating that thing😅

Most relatable video ever 💯. Even the voice volume 🥲 I simply see myself in it . Thanks 👍

As an italian, I think that british plumbing doesn't help. When I visited the UK, showers looked complicated and inefficient everywhere (as regards pressure and/or temperature control and performance).

12:48 I constantly have this problem where I think I'm talking at a normal volume but then nobody can hear me because I'm talking too quiet. And then I get so annoyed and think people are ignoring me but no its just me

I do relate to the showering one to an extent, particularly the temperature changes being a nightmare. Recently I bought a space heater to at least make the transition between in/out shower be less horrible because I'd just be a shivery mess every time. If I've found it in my to exercise before the shower it's goes a lot easier though, and the whole being sweaty is more of a discomfort than pushing myself into the shower at that point. With food I essentially just... eat on a schedule rather than trying to rely on when I'm hungry. Breakfast and lunch are virtually always the same thing. I've had the same breakfast pretty much every day for probably over 15 years now, and my lunches also remain almost entirely static. It is definitely a source of distress if I'm out of some stuff for these though. Dinner gets stressful a lot but my partner and I are now tending more toward making larger batches and then eating the same dinner for the next 3-4 days. Also trying to ditch the shame around grabbing microwave meals or ordering takeout; fortunately we're in a position where we can afford it. Switching tasks: gosh, yeah getting out of bed in the morning and starting off _getting ready_ for bed are really damn difficult. Recently I just sat at my computer for 1.5 hours straight just clicking from discord channel to discord channel instead of going to bed, while telling myself I had to go to bed the entire time. I'm always tired and then just... don't give myself the chance to actually get enough sleep. I do like the whole chaining of tasks like you mention; once I get up and going I do tend to find task after task, to the point I feel like I _need_ to do all of them because if I go sit down it's not going to happen. I suppose bathing also ties into this point; if I lay down in the bath instead of showering, I just get fucking stuck there. I'll lay there easily up to an hour watching the tap drip twice a minute, getting increasingly uncomfortable as the water cools only to then finally wash myself while almost sobbing about the discomfort of starting to do so and/or the temperature change. And yet I'll still routinely go "oh yeah a bath sounds nice and relaxing". Welp I've written a lot. Can't stop myself but I'll throw in the disclaimer that I'm recently self-realised autistic (a bunch of things clicked in place in November when I learned about masking and alexithymia for the first time after scoring "weirdly" high on the RAADS-R). Currently waiting to hear back whether I get to be on the waiting list for assessment after a lengthy pre-assessment paper questionnaire and all that. It's been about a month. The imposter syndrome is hitting hard, and this is the first time I'm even acknowledging it all in a public place, but I guess I'm glad I wrote this. I've been really enjoying your videos, they're by far the most relatable ones I've seen on youtube, and I've been watching ehm, a _lot_ on the topic. I know ThE AlGoRiThm isn't as much of a fan of content that isn't hyper-optimized to reel people in, but it's honestly just such a breath of fresh air. So just want say a sincere thank you for talking to us as openly as you do. I expect there's quite a few folks like me who don't (yet) allow themselves to be heard, getting a lot out of it.

In regard to the unknowingly speaking at higher volumes, I totally relate!!! I have always either been too loud or too quiet. I saw a video once and they discussed a possible cause for it. Neurodivergent brains process sensory input differently than neurotypical brains do. The person said because everything sounds louder to us and we are picking up on so many noises, so the volume of our voices tend to raise as well. Not sure how much validity this has, but I thought it was interesting. 🙂

I used to have a reputation for accidentally breaking toys and such... video game controllers, any kind of knob or trigger, etc. Knowing or controlling how much force to put into an action has always been a struggle for me, as well as the volume of my voice thing. Honestly they're more or less the same problem to my mind.

Two of my favorite historical people were Saint Jerome who did not believe in the pagan practice of washing and Saint Francis of Assissi who was removed from the Vatican by security for being a scruff. Anybody who objects to smells is free to examine their own person to see if all parts smell of roses.. You're coping with things that some normal people could never survive through.

All of this is relatable, but I'm especially intrigued by the strength thing. I'm also an exceptionally physically strong woman right out of the gate without any training, and my dad who is a lifter noticed it when I was 7 and deadlifted 100lb barbell with no issue just because it was sitting there and gave it a try lol I knew about correct form from watching dad. My husband is a lifter and is big on keeping charts and looked into what category I fall into, but as a novice I was strong enough to be competitive. Now I do train because it's fun, but funny enough I hate deadlifts because they scrape my shins and that just sends me out of my body 😱

Heyyyy for the lighting issue when showering, (I have light sensitivity too) I use electric candles or sometimes real candlelight when I shower! It’s SO much more relaxing… For the longest time I had a solar powered candle which was the BEST but any kind of candlelight is not too bright for me, relaxing, and turns showering into a spa experience haha 😆 I SO relate to not buying food for the week as well! I’m really big on intuitive eating and it makes it really hard sometimes to plan, like for example I tried to this week but I got sick so that was a reset on what I thought I needed 😅 sooo annoying…

Is it easier to regulate volume on these videos? Or do you adjust it when editing? It sounds just right here. 😊

New here and I related to literally all of this. I subbed. Thank you for putting it into words for others!

I can relate! As an AuDHD-er, executive issues are at the top of the list, for me. Fortunately, my NT wife reminds me to eat!

I also have trouble task switching. I call it perseverating when I get stuck in an activity. It happens a lot. I find unscented products smell like lard. I can't use them as they make me nauseous. If the scent is too strong or chemical, it gives me a bad headache, though. I am allergic or sensitive to soaps and shampoos. My skin feels like it is burning when I use any, even natural products. I can't afford to buy expensive hypoallergenic products, and what I have tried still burns. I shower. But I dread it. I want to shave my head the irritation is so bad, but I hate even having short hair. Thanks for making these videos by the way. It is good to know I am not the only one who struggles with these things. Oh, and have literal nightmares over using public bathrooms or even shared bathrooms or food areas, so leaving home is extremely stressful for me.

I can’t stand showering either. I don’t have a problem with the sound of the shower or the smells of the shower gel and shampoo, but I really struggle with the feeling of being cold when I get undressed and when I get out of the shower. But for me, the worst thing is that I don’t like the way water feels against my skin. So I don’t shower as often as I really should. Doing the washing up is a nightmare. The feel of water is horrible, but the feel of wearing rubber gloves is even worse. I’ve tried all different types of rubber gloves, but they feel so awful that I have to take them off the second I put them on, or I would vomit. So I have to do the washing up with bare hands. I also find that when my hands have been wet for more than a few minutes, I can’t stand to touch paper for about an hour after. I don’t know if it’s because it takes time for my fingertips to regain their coating of oil after they’ve been wet, but paper just feels horrible for a while. My hypersensitivity to touch really gets me down.

I don’t have a bathroom light that works either, try getting a cheap little rechargeable lamp, that might help :)

Thank you for making these videos!!!! *I’ve subscribed!!

I'm so grateful for your channel! I'm constantly finding things I relate to that I hadn't pieced together before now. Keep up the great work!

Yeah, and I can't switch to doing different things, either using the Neurotypical timer method, and it's so hard to actually get going on some things because either I'm in too much pain to move, or have a huge headache from being made to write, or I'm not in an Autistic flow, then I can't just get up and start a task, And, even if I can get up to get another cup of coffee, that doesn't mean I can start some certain other types of things. Also, if I get overloaded, then sometimes I have to go into shutdown, and whether I get overloaded usually depends on some Neurotypical overloading me with their Neurotypical ways and expectations that are totally unrealistic for someone who is Autistic. And, like last nite, my rain boot heel got hung on the filly fence when I went through to feed them dinner, and it wouldn't come free, and threw me forward, and I got thrown down on the ground face first on on my knees with my head in the dirt in the filly shed, and all the grain went on the ground, and I hit the ground right between four fillies feet, down on the ground with them looking at me. And that hurt, especially my knees. So, this morning, I'm not physicially moving very fast, because too much pain. But, on other days, there can be many other reasons for pain. And, that's one thing. But, if I manage to get in an Autistic flow, I have to take advantage of that flow, because I can't do that all the time or just summon it to happen, and then I can't change to a different thing. And, sometimes I can't do anything at all to switch out of that, because some Neurotypical overloaded me or got pushing me to go faster than I can go and caused an overload and I shut down, and then I have to recover from that. So yeah. switching tasks is a huge problem, and I definitely can't do it on Neurotypical expectations, time schedules, and demands - even under Neurotypical threats to punish me or do something bad to me. I'm Autistic and my brain and body don't work that way.

Thx for the upload!!

Task switching is a nightmare for me too, i eventually started wallpapering my stairs a year aftef buying the stuff but that made start wallpapering the other 3 rooms i wanted done at the same time so now i have the dilemma of which one am i going to continue with before stating 😂😂

When you mentioned that you can’t eat even if you’re ravenous, that reminded me of cats, the most autistic animal :’) hahaha, they do the same I’m also autistic and I can relate sooooo much! Except for the strength, I’m the other way around, I look like I should have more strength but I’m so physically weak 😂

You explained everything very well and put words to many experiences I haven’t been able to express. Thank you!

Like Dana I also can' t control my voice I have adhd, NLD and ASD. I also think this is autistic and it is really so annoying. I' m also bad hearing. People told me a lot of times that I' m talking to loud and in some rare cases I' m talking not loud enough

I can totally relate ❤ I am 50 years old and my therapist brought to my attention that I am autistic. She asked me a series of questions and suggested that I find a psychologist to get an assessment. This was all last year when it occurred to me that I indeed am autistic. My therapist told me her son is autistic and that we share the same traits. I can definitely relate to the not wanting to shower. Or wearing the same clothes over and over. I have to remind myself to change into different clothes day by day because I have a KZfaq channel and if I don't wear something different on each video my subscribers get confused as to which video is which. I like your channel ❤

Autistic Adult: I’m ok with the shower, (prefer baths) but it takes me Sooo long to cool down afterwards! Trying to get ready to do something when I’m too hot is difficult!

I don't know if this is a good idea or not, but would sponge baths instead of showers help any? Becareful lifting the heavy things or you could wind up with permanent back damage, like I have.

I love your accent. Stay blessed, and I hope that you find the support that you need. I wish we were part of the same community so I could interact with you more and we could share our struggles.

I struggle with every single point haha. The task switching one most of all. When I was working and someone would try to make me do something while I was in the middle of doing something else (that I always had to prepare for to do things in a way that was easiest and quickest for me and took so much bloody time) I would literally get so frustrated that I probably sounded like a had a really bad attitude. Really I was just mad because someone was telling me to do something else when all my energy was going into what I was already trying to do. Also simply being told what to do just makes me instantly mad.

Your room looks similar to mine with having so much stuff in it and the cat water fountain on the floor 😂. I also think I have autism and am pursuing a diagnosis.

Ugh I feel you on shit being perpetually broken. 2 suggestions that could immediately help the showering: 1. Lighting issue: move a lamp into the bathroom(if you have counter space) or plug a nightlight into an outlet, so you're not having to shower in pitch black if the shower must happen at night. On the flip side, you could use a sheet/blanket/pillow case depending on size need, to cover the window(s?) to soften the light coming through in the day time. (Or curtain of course if you have one, or can afford one you might find at a dollar store or thrift store or something.) 2. Waterproof Ear plugs. Depending on how you feel about them, this might be a "choose the lesser of two evils" situation. I.e.: which is worse: the pressure and feeling of shit in my ears? or the painful overload of too much sound? If PDA says no to these (because affordability, change, not how it "should be", etc., tell it: "I deserve accommodations for my disabilities, and I deserve to find ways to make them happen." Okay on to the rest of the video lol.

Yeah, the hot / cold shower thing's a biggie. We used to live in a different horse farm, and the house had real electricity hookup and we could keep my bathroom warm enough, and it was a good walk-in shower with a lot of water pressure and always warm enough, so I didn't have so many problems there. But we got wrongly thrown off that farm by a judge who showed she was an Autistic person hater and went out of her way to make the case go against us because of her extreme prejudices against my being Autistic and she acted joyful at throwing us off our farm, like "take that." And, so, we got another farm, but at first, there was a huge hole in the floor of the house, so we had to put up a tent and get a giant horse water trough, and put cold well water in from the horse hose, and then heat it in order for me to be able to take a bath. That horrible Autistic hating judge was I'm sure laughing HaHaHa that she had done this to someone who is Autistic. But, anyway, I went around 10 months with no way to take a bath or shower at all, and that was bad, The Autism-hating judge did that to me. Finally, when we got the horse water trough bath method hooked up, I could only manage to take one about every 3 weeks because I get too cold and then I can't take off clothes if the air feels too cold, even if the water is hot enough. I only got the water trough bath for a few months, and then it became October and the nights and mornings started getting cold, and I couldn't do any more baths because of the cold air and I can't take being too cold. So, it went a lot longer, and we had to get someone to repair the hole in the floor of the house, and someone else to put a shower head on the shower, before I could get another bath or shower. And, again, oftentimes the air was too cold or the water didn't exactly heat up enough, and I can't do luke warm or cold water, so it was a huge problem. Also, there is no electricity at the new farm, so we had to get a propane heater and propane water heater so we could make the air warm enough for me to take my clothes off and heat the water enough so I could take a shower. And, sometimes the air is just too cold so even with the propane heater, I can't get warm enough to take a shower. And I can't do going from hot to cold, either. I have huge temperature regulation problems. I can't go in and out of places where the air conditioning is turned way too cold inside and it's very hot outside, and go in and out like that, because I can't regulate the temperature differential. Right after I eat dinner, I get very cold for awhile, and have to out on warm clothes, bundle up, and get under blankets, even in the summer. In the winter, it's much worse. And, I can't tell when I'm too hot, either. I start getting sick feeling, but then when I go away from heat or outside if it's much cooler there, I suddenly realise my sick feeling was I was too hot, and I couldn't tell I was too hot. But, yeah, the temperature thing is HUGE. These judges in the United States and in California and Florida treat Autistic people like animals, and they treat their dogs and cats better, so Autistic people just have to try to do the best they can because we don't get any help from the authorities people who are supposed too help us, but instead they Autism hate and they go out of their way to harm us and leave us in inhumane conditions. In California judges left me because they're Autistic haters in situations where the only way I could bathe was out of a farm horse hose with cold water even when there was ice on the ground in California. It was total cruelty toward me by those judges.

So relatable!

Oh gosh, I feel you on the shower thing it is such an ordeal. Not for the same reasons as you entirely (temp regulation yes) but there are just soo many steps and a number of them are unpleasant. As you spoke about it, I was thinking of what I'd do in your situation to make it less unpleasant. 1. Privacy film- it doesn't have glue, its not permanent, basically a little water and it clings to glass until you peel it off. Its very inexpensive, if you used a matte white you'd still get a lot of light, just less harsh so it could make mid-day showering less harsh on the eyes 2. Wax earplugs. It's like moldable putty, it reduces sound, and its waterproof. I've used them during a float in a sensory deprivation tank, they are a lot less annoying than other earplugs 3. Mix unscented and scented soaps into a bottle to create a lighter scent that is less offensive but still helps you get that "clean" smell achieved. Its certainly not a perfect solution, but making something 5% less annoying is still 5% less annoying. When you mentioned morning showers, I used to do that- and honestly, everything about them bothered me less aside from being tired. I think that may be because I was still drowsy, so I wasn't alert enough to notice all the things, my brain was just stuck on how mad I was to be awake, haha. But also maybe just because I still had all my spoons (see spoon theory if that reference made no sense)

It is also my case (lifting heavy things), I don't think it's about being strong as much as it is not registering the pain/fatigue because you see it as a task to complete and nothing else. The missing signals is spot on, I sometimes register being cold only when I can't feel my toes and most of the time "cold" is not even the word that comes up in my mind, it's just feeling unwell, stiff. I hate how stupid it sounds, but it is really what happens

I'm starting to notice more and more how my hands start to go strange on me like I'm not totally in control of them. 😮‍💨

I feel like you're my doppelgänger... When i was younger I looked exactly like you

OMG I Recognize myself in everything you said ! (im french sorry if my english sucks )

i’m the opposite, i spend way way too long in the shower because i have a very strict cleaning routine i need to go through every day. but it takes a ton of energy and i consider it equally disabling

I have the screaming pipes. That's what makes me reluctant to shower. I'm okay once I'm in there but it's the knowledge that some issue, possibly connected with the pressure management valve on the roadside regularly failing, causes serious procrastination. I absolutely get it that it is so aggravating when people say things like, "Why don't you just do this.." Maybe we can't afford it. Maybe we could afford it but can't get help to do it. We don't all live in perfectly functioning new builds and we don't all have professional plumbers etc. to contract.

You have a pleasant voice, and are speaking at an appropriate volume, at least through the length of the video.

i use my loop earplugs pretty much 24/7 and omg so important for the shower for me

The worst for me is using the wrong tone 😔 it just comes out wrong, I know it was wrong, but there is no way to rewind and change it (with people I don't know well)

I have a huge issue with controlling the volume of my voice. I'm usually too quiet. But in an environment where I'm meant to be quiet, I don't know how to dial down my voice to be quiet enough. Temperature is a big thing I struggle with. I can wear too many clothes and not realize I'm being too hot. I actually have an issue, where if I'm feeling a variation of hot or cold, my mind doesn't know what to focus on, and I'll start having these very intense headaches. Sometimes I'll wear t-shirts with it being too cold and I won't understand that maybe I'm too cold. An issue that's different from yours that I struggle with is that if I focus really on something, I can forget that I can feel pain, and I can harm my body and not realize it for hours. I've even broken my arm once, and it took my hours to understand that I'm actually in horrible pain to the point that I start crying about it. I struggle with following my bladder needs. So if I'm outside and moving around or sitting still, I might end up spending many hours without going to the bathroom, until I get a sudden need to go, just because I wasn't paying attention to it. I hate hate hate having to stand still. When I have to stand still, I can't really easily focus on a single thing, so people or things around me become very overwhelming, and I start feeling so anxious. Starting tasks and then focusing on other tasks without me building up a timed schedule for them is so difficult for me. Everything has to follow a strict timetable for me to be able to manage. I felt like rambling a bit, but really, your video is great. Thank you so much for this.

Sufficiently warm showers dry the skin, which is a way worse than being dirty imo. Have you tried a minimalist bird bath and simply not washing your hair? The grease production slows down after a couple weeks. Idk what it is about needing to pee. Ig I drink too much coffee. Just don't leave the house. YMMV. Volume control is always an issue. That and NTs don't seem to understand the same dialect as us. So I try to keep our interactions AI-assisted and work-related. Dyspraxia is awful. I leave a trail of destruction everywhere I go. I'm not really allowed in the kitchen.

I hate showers. I'll have a bath if I have any choice. I only use shampoo on my whole body, because I like the smell and I figure soap is soap... I wear the same clothes every day for a week sometimes... I only buy food offline, because you can't have milk and fresh things delivered in my town, but I hate it. I only get three days worth of food at a time because I can't cope with thinking further than that. I can't control my voice tone or volume. Sometimes I'll just decide to say nothing... No one has a right to try to make us feel guilty for responding negatively to a bully! I got all that guilt tripping as a kid, too. If a bully doesn't want me to do something back, they can leave me the hell alone! My parents totally didn't care about me being attacked, and I got punished for trying to defend myself. Now I absolutely won't tolerate it in any form!

Starting activities and a general slowness and lack of efficiency are big problems for me. The early-morning start-up in particular is desperately slow. I marvel at those people who can get up, get ready and be out of the house in twenty minutes or so - I don't know how they do it and they still look well-presented. I think in many ways autists are like an old computer which is generally slow but takes ages to start-up; neurotypicals are like a new computer that can start working immediately and is generally faster and more efficient.

Yes I will put off a shower and all of the reasons you said I relate to

I think a lot of things you eventually do become accustomed to with age, even with autism. You just get that little bit better at doing the things you struggle with to get them out of the way. It's like, I don't mind hot showers, but we've only had a shower for the past 25 years. I do on the other hand, struggle with brushing my teeth. I'm better now that I'm older but I have terrible teeth, most toothpastes burn like hell which is why I hated having to do it. I've found brands that are milder but they keep discontinuing the tolerable ones and I'm not made of money. I think I'm actually really lucky when it comes to food.... or at least the eating of it. I don't really like dark green veggies because they either taste bitter or like soap and I can't handle anythign spicier than an arribata sauce.... tho I think that might fall under the same umbrella as why I hate toothpaste. There's only one food texture I can't stand and that's couscous. It doesn't taste of anything on it's own but it's absolutely gritty and vile. Shopping for it on the other hand I wish I didn't have to do. I'm actually really happy for being autistic and being able to memorise where products are to make the shop go faster. I experience things from mild annoyance on my good days to barely contained blinding rage and on rare occasions because I can't explode in public, I actually start crying. It looks a bit stupid as a grown ass woman but people just not paying attention to their surroundings, constantly getting in the way or me literally having to shout to get their attention so I can pass is a bit much. It's really bad around the festive season. I'm usually very depressed, anxious and snappy, even on christmas day. I guess I don't have problems actually cooking...... although, again, I can get frustrated. I'm the person that cooks 95% of the time in the house since my mom conditioned me to learn from a young age. I got sick of mom always overcooking my food and then both my parents worked and I ended up having to cook for them while I was in school and college. It's gotten to the point where sometimes I need to do things a certain way in a certain order.... I don't generally follow recipes too closely, I rely a lot on my knowledge of ingredients....... but this does mean I struggle having another person in the kitchen with me because things need to be done a certain way or it has to be something we've practised (like mom making a cake. I'm the one that cleans up and melts the chocolate and stuff.) I do feel ya on the strength front. I spent a lot of my teenage years at a riding school, not only riding but doing a lot of manual labour. Even though I've been away from it for a while and have put on weight, I keep getting people commenting on my strength. Had some builders in to do some work and I was helping clear some stuff and they were like 'should we pay you to help us, lol. You don't look like you'd be able to lift that stuff'