I’m not a parent, but I remember babysitting for a friend one time years ago. They warned me over and over how hard it is to get the baby to go to sleep, so they wouldn’t be upset with me if the baby was still awake when they got home. They would understand if I struggled putting her to bed. When I arrived, they had the TV on, every light in the house on, etc, etc. As soon as they left, I turned off the tv and pretty much every light except for a few lamps. I feed the kid her bottle and then sat on the couch with her cradled in my arms. It was just me, her, and the hum of their aquarium. She fussed in my arms for about 10-15 mins wanting to get up, so I decided to try “falling asleep” myself. I closed my eyes and laid my head back. I opened my eyes after about a minute and she was staring at me. I giggled and closed my eyes again and did some deep breathing like I was sleeping. I opened my eyes again after a minute or two and she was fast asleep. Elapse time probably less than 30 mins. Autistic people certainly do have some good ideas when it comes to kids and thinking outside the box. Prior to that I had next to zero experience with kids or babies. The parents got home and couldn’t believe she was asleep nor my method to achieving it.

You mean not everyone reads scientific journals about every life decision?

Mom of six (ages 14, 12, 7, 9, 4, & 1) and just got diagnosed. Here are somethings I've struggled with or noticed: - Being focused on something like cooking dinner and suddenly realizing your child has been standing next to you for who knows how long talking to you about every aspect of Minecraft. - Having two or three kids try to help you bake cookies all at once and making a huge mess. I'm a very clean cook. - Having two or three of your kids all trying to snuggle with you and you suddenly can't breath. - My one year old's high pitched shriek. - Going to the park for playgroup and either just have a one on one with another mom or using my child as an excuse to not talk to any of the other moms. - Dinner time when the kids aren't getting along. - Church when your family seems to be the only one whose kids can't sit still, are upside down, fighting over your lap, asking to go to the drinking fountain for the eighth time, or fighting with each other. - Needing to be alone so you can decompress so you don't have a meltdown and the kids know all your hiding places. - Not being able to keep track of who needs to be where at what time, who needs something signed, remembering when which kids get out of school at what time, who still needs doctor or dentist appointments or flu shots, etc. I rely heavily on my Google calendar and alarms. - Laundry. - Realizing that you recognize that all your kids exhibit signs of autism (none diagnosed yet) and not wanting to change that for anything because they're so wonderful and special in their own way. - Knowing what they struggle with and being able to help them cope because I've been there and I didn't have that kind of support growing up. - Despite the fighting, they all love each other and get along really well most of the time. - Having the same senses of humor and laughing a lot. - Being intrinsically kind and knowing we can trust one another forever. - Not wanting to trade autism for anything now that we know what makes us who we are. This is just a tiny sample. =)

I was diagnosed at 34, and am now a single dad with 3 teens on the spectrum. You do learn to adapt as they grow, and it is long term adjustment. You are doing a great job and a great channel too.

I wish I had known after my first kid that I had Autism and that's why parenting was so hard. I had 3 more children and things only got worse. I now have 4 kids with special needs, several with Autism and it's exhausting to say the least. I didn't get my diagnosis of Autism for myself until 2 of my children had been diagnosed. Our life is complete madness.. Life is really, really hard.

I’m not diagnosed, over the years I’ve done a lot of back and forth wondering if I am autistic. Motherhood has really solidified the idea that I am. My daughter has always been very active and loud, so much so that I’m often burnt out mentally by noon (it used to be an hour, I’ve slowly worked myself up to four thanks to different tools).

It's the "Like minded people" part that is the most difficult thing to find. My son seems to be so misunderstood by his own family. I find it very similar to some of the old stigmas people with mental illness suffer through. "Why doesn't he just behave properly" and "Pull himself up by his bootstraps." He is an adult now and I tend to be his quiet island of sanity, but I can't be there all the time or forever, and I worry about him. It is such an uncompromising and ignorant world. Frustrated. The answers seem so simple. Listen to your child (or adult), ask them what they need, and then give it to them. Thanks for the insightful video.

This sounds so familiar. I had a horrid first pregnancy and was bounced around mental health services and none were able to help me, they actually made me a lot sicker. So much so that I wound up in the ER for psych help. Not a happy moment. Again was referred back to an old bpd diagnosis of mine. In hindsight now, suspecting I'm on the spectrum, I can totally understand what happened to me during my first pregnancy. I just wish I would've known before or mental health professionals would've picked it up. I always wonder if I'd been a boy would I have been diagnosed as a child, but then had I known would I have had children? So it's pointless to wonder what if, but I sometimes do. I completely relate to researching until literally the middle of the night and being utterly exhausted and confused about all the various articles. It's exhausting and tiresome. My brain needs and craves order and neat conclusions, but raising human beings is anything but! 😂

Ahhhh yeah this is what scares me about the idea of ever possibly becoming a mom

This has helped me relax about the idea of becoming a mother. I’m autistic and I used to be so scared because my autism and sensory issues but I have always wanted to be a mum.

I had a total meltdown phase after giving birth to my first child. I felt like I had been shattered to pieces and forced to circle around another planet, when I had been in my own galaxy all my life. And all the coping mechanisms didn't work anymore. Breast feeding was a nightmare, since every touch there is always uncomfortable for me. I stopped it after a few weeks. But I had no problems bonding with both my children and I love them so, so much. The advantage showed itself when my firstborn was diagnosed with Asperger's, because I am her best advocate, know how to handle her most of the time and can explain her behaviour to teachers and the like. And she already had a very structured home with little chances of sensory overload. In this regard, my own autism is a blessing for her.

I have autism and I've been threatened to have my baby taken away if I have one. It's terrifying. I've always wanted to have a baby.

This video utterly blew my mind. My son is 5 but you could be me speaking from the time he was born. Everything .... EVERYTHING you are saying I can relate to. I was diagnosed with post natal depression which never sat quite right with me. It was more that I was hyperfocussed on him and the exhaustion triggered my meltdowns. I was prescribed SSRIs which I feel have helped me even out my emotions. I feel like I lost some of the creative part of myself by taking them though. I think that one of the most positive things for me is that .y son and I have heaps of fun one on one. I love nature and craft and colouring and talking about science and dinosaurs etc and so does he. Playdates and socialising can still be overwhelming and exhausting for me though. I'm pretty sure that I am autistic but I'm currently researching psychs to be diagnosed correctly. Thanks so much for your videos.

This video couldn’t have come at a better time. I’m 34, son just turned 2. I have my autism & adhd evaluation next month. Becoming a SAHM and experiencing constant changes and sensory overload, I didn’t know why I couldn’t “function” like other parents. Thank you for your work and videos. It’s been so validating. ❤️

Your child becomes your special interest... this phrase gives me so much hope, because our special interests are what makes us feel more alive. They don't feel like work, they feel like joy.

After a trusted friend set me down the road of researching Autism in Women, I am now on the waiting list for ASD assessment. This video has added more evidence for me that I am. I have an almost 3 year old, and a 1 year old, and you have just described my experience. Not being able to keep my strategies and mechanisms for coping going because I am utterly overloaded by sound, and for me - touch. Thank you. I am saving your video to revise before my assessment. Xxx

This is what happened to me. Parenting led me on the path to burnout and then discovery ♡ grateful for you and this video especially 🙏

As an autistic family, we definitely do things differently from many allistic families, and there's no shame whatsoever in that. You're absolutely right that as autistic parents, we don't have to do everything that other parents do, and since our kids are more likely to be autistic (compared to allistic parents) it's often best to give our kids more downtime than more standard kids anyway.

Thank you so so much for sharing. There is such little info on women with babies and neurodiversity. I want to have kids one day (28 now) but I’m terrified of how I would/wouldn’t cope! Especially when life is already much for of a struggle than ‘normal’ people. Thanks again!! So inspirational and honest 💕

At 44, with 2 small kids, ages 6 and 3, I just now realized I’m on spectrum. This video literally just hit every single little check mark of everything I’ve been experiencing and didn’t know what to make of it this whole time. Thank you for this!

I burst into tears at "I'm not selfish because I need more time to recharge".

Thank you for your videos ! I have never wanted kids, and your video so concisely lists the reasons why. Its is so nice to have found this community of people who just get it.

I have an 8 month old and I feel like I have to talk to him a lot to teach him about everything and it’s difficult cuz I’m usually a very mute person

Thank you so much for this video. I spent 35 years thinking I was NT. It wasn't until I was pregnant that I finally started to twig that there might be something going on with me. I initially requested an ADHD assessment but 2 years later I'm now on a waiting list for an ASD assessment and my gosh your description of parenting resonates with me SO MUCH! I adore my daughter and am so incredibly grateful for the opportunity and privilege to be her mother, but I'm going to ask the Dr about getting my tubes tied as the thought of having another child utterly terrifies me. I thought I was suffering from depression but it's maybe just burnout.

This is so relatable. I would love a video on autistic burnout and its relation to depression. I can't tell the difference. (in myself)

Ohhh what helps me with support is my Facebook mom groups. Not all mom groups are created equal but I have found some amazing groups.

This resonated with me. My son is 5 now, but I remember letting his Grammy take him for a few days after a month or two. I NEEDED those days to recharge as a human. Pretty much all of the moms in my social circle all talked about how they had a hard time letting their baby go for an over-night stay and I thought maybe I was doing something wrong. Now I realize that I just needed more recharge time because I am neuro-divergent.

As someone with a childhood diagnosis I have had nasty phobia of pregnancy since I was a teenager. Realizing that autism is genetic just makes the phobia worse. I might adopt one day if this issue doesn't break up my partner and I first. He doesn't get the fact that me having autism and him having ADHD is a horrible combination for having children. Knowingly bringing a life into this world that is so unfriendly to autistic people is cruel. I would feel so much shame from passing it on i couldn't live with myself. I hate feeling this way but it is what it is. Getting diagnosed afterward is really hard but can be a blessing in the sense of not knowing and the fear I hate so much.

I'm 19, not a parent, and I already have a special interest in all things child development. I can imagine how this could be both a good and bad thing for someone who actually has children.

This made me cry. I’m a mum to an autistic little boy and only had the diagnosis through learning about him. It’s so hard. I’d love to speak more as I think you’d understand and I don’t have community around me who understand. Keep going xx

My hyper focusing eventually led to homeschooling, which led to extreme burnout with CFS and autoimmune disorders. I wish I knew then what I know now. Thank you for talking about this.

It takes a village, yes!! Where is our village?! I was followed by social workers during and after my first pregnancy and they kept talking about a local service where a volunteer comes over once a week for a few hours and helps out, I tried to explain time and time again that I wouldn't be able to cope with all that. Of course I'm undiagnosed and had never even researched autism at the time so didn't think I was on the spectrum. Needless to say no one understood me. I just struggle with socializing. I have a neighbour which I see sometimes, but when her kids and mine are around, I really struggle. I can't relax. I feel super vigilant and anxious and can't keep up with the noise and chatter, etc. Ideally play dates, the few we've had, occur with my husband around, so either he can check the kids or I can leave my son at home and just go over with my daughter. Way back women were home, everyone was home, mothers, grandmothers. Our parents are still working, we're working, etc.

This is my biggest fear in life, becoming a mother. I made up my mind a long time ago that I don’t want any baby. I didn’t know that I was autistic, I thought I was just a terrible person for not wanting a family life.

Out of interest, did you want to become a parent, or did you just fall into it? Personally I don't understand how and why the majority of people end up having kids at some stage. It's an enormous demand, takes years of sleepless night and nappy changes to reap the benefits (and that's dependent upon you raising them well), mentally requires one to think of all the boring things like learning the alphabet, how to eat etc, and massively restricts your free time. Personally, I cannot foresee much chance of me falling into parenthood. Anyway all the best with it. p.s. if I sound a bit blunt and unfriendly, remember, this is coming from someone with aspergers.

Yes!!! My special interest is word for word what you described! I'm doing it right now haha. My downtime is research to make sure there is "no way he gets left behind"

Thank you so much for this video. It feels like, if I was not unbearably uncomfortable with being filmed or photographed, I could have made all these exact comments on my KZfaq channel in an alternate universe. I feel so seen. I was diagnosed 4 months ago and I did ALL THESE THINGS when my son was a baby. I have been doing a deep dive into my experiences (as we stereotypically do after receiving the diagnosis) and I hadn't even recognised some of my actions in early parenthood were because I'm autistic. My son is now 3.33 and I've managed to research less and go with my gut more. I've managed to take my downtime and feel less guilty for it. I'm working up the courage to make my needs as an autistic mother clear to my parents and in-laws, who I'm very blessed to have be significantly involved in my son's life as our 'village'. I am absolutely bingeing your autism playlist and its just SO. GOOD. for my soul

I’m new to your chanel, and after 3 episodes I LOVE YOU AND THE HELP YOU’RE GIVING us 💗

Masking is extremely hard when you’re trying to keep up with a child too. If I’m just with adults, I’m fine, but if I’m also taking care of my little one (2 yo) it’s like my brain completely forgets how to mask. I keep monologuing about my child and completely forget how to have a give and take convo. I’d love to hear more on this if you have any helpful advice one how mask during like a play date type of setting!

Me realizing that the reason I stumbled upon this video is because I have a special interest in parenting(fear of being like my parents, want to be the best) and am diagnosed.

My daughter is almost 27 now and we are very open to eachother. She suffered from me being a overbearing worried mum all the time. It suffocated her, my need to control everything. Her teen years were very difficult for us both. I had to let her explore the world but i was terrified that something would happen to her. I was and still am a single mum, that didn't help either. So try not to be the perfect mum, it's a mission impossible. Try to let go and let them make their own mistakes to learn from. I'm glad there is a daddy around for you and your Son to support you both. You can do it!

Glad to have found your channel. I was diagnosed at 39 yrs AFTER my 2 sons were diagnosed ASD & ADHD. I struggle as my youngest is sensory seeking and needs lots of hugs. Snuggles. Cuddles and never stops talking. He really exhausts me. Its like I have a giant limpet with verbal Diarrhoea permanently attached to me. Both my boys were still double incontinent at 8 yrs old and I had been wrongly diagnosed with depression and on a massive dose of meds wondering why I felt on the edge of a breakdown every day. My oldest didnt speak until he was 7. I hyperfocused on watching Mr Tumble with the kids every day and we all learned Makaton sign language together. My oldest is now in a special autism school and is thriving. My fight to place my youngest is ongoing. I dont work. I dont think i could. I am so exhausted just sorting my kids out. While they are at school, im chasing up CAMHS or dentist appointments. Filling in disability forms for them. Going to EHCP meetings. Sometimes Im so exhausted I cant finish a sentence and just cry. I am not functional enough to have a support network. It would be more anxiety. So I am glad i found this channel

This video is so good and so important. So glad to have found your channel.

I loved it! I felt so validated...thank you! I got to the same point: I don't have to ve like other moms. I can be a good mom to my kids just the way I am. Also you made me laugh. ✌️❤️ Please make more vids about autistic motherhood.

The earplug thing is a lifesaver! I always felt so guilty for using them so I allowed that to keep me from doing so much of the time but I found when I did I could actually address the problem rather than freeze in panic, or become frantic. It's like that screaming completely paralyzed me and still when it's been too noisy (they're toddlers), I find that my energy is just gone. It feels like every nerve on my body has been frayed and I'm inside out and I just can't move or respond anymore. I try so hard to be a good mom too.

Being a primary parent myself I can relate with many things you report in this video. Less in having to deal with sensory issues as I had to deal with much worse being man.. it is true that all the focus has been on my child and forgot to look after myself. Not mentioning how difficult when the other parent is challenging and most likely a repressed ADHD, to say the least. If your child is autistic, be ready for a whole host of issues to deal with. Yes, toddler years are easy!

I find that having children limits my masking and coping capabilities. I'm so spent at the end of the day that it makes it hard to cope with regular life, like running errands and doing a few social outings here and there.

The worst part of parenting being " high functioning" is most people don't understand the over stimulation and don't see your sensory needs/ overload and judge you harshly for it... Or worse when you shutdown they may see you and judge you as being "uncaring" or not affectionate enough when that couldn't be farther from the truth. 😪😪

Thank you so much for this video 💖 I'm an undiagnosed autistic mom who adopted two children aged 3 and 5 a year ago. Everything you mention in this video is true for me too. I had had those thoughts that autism makes things harder for me. After watching the video I know it does. Still, it's hard to hear from neurotypical, biological parents, that every parent has it difficult and I should deal with it. Personally, I wouldn't recommend adoption and parenting to autistic women. As you said, we probably give our children more of what they exactly need and it's gonna be very helpful for their development and future. Unfortunately the cost of our everyday strive in our lives and minds is too high in my opinion. Maybe it's different with one child. Having two is crazy

I’m a 44-year-old mother of two (now aged 11 and 8) and this definitely resonated with me! I identified with almost everything you said. I have not been diagnosed with autism and have never seriously considered it before. This is the first video of yours that I have watched but I will be watching more. Thank you.

I am 39 and am currently pursuing a diagnosis because I identify with too many traits. I am a mother of one diagnosed HFA child, with two more headed for evaluations in the near future. I hadn't been as aware of my quirks until I started to raise children with special issues. I am grateful to be a mom because of the awareness it raised in me.

I have 3 kids and believe that I'm on the spectrum. I'm in the middle of getting my teenager diagnosed at the moment. I used to really struggle with 3 young children in the car with me and the noise. I worked out over time to remove some of the noise - turn the radio off, give the kids things to do, constantly feed them so they were quiet. At home I would wear my headphones while doing housework to tune out the noise of my kids. Now my teen does the same thing.

OMG! You just reached into my inner psyche and articulated every frustrating and confusing thought I’ve ever had as a Mother. Well done! I am currently binging on your channel. Amazing stuff! I’m not diagnosed, but after my neice’s diagnosis last year it’s caused myself and my brother to re-evaluates ourselves. I’m certain that we are both on the spectrum. Your page has been so validating. Thank you so much!

I think I have autism and ADHD like you and as a single mum i so relate to being exhausted all the time. Now i think my 4yo daughter has ADHD (and who knows about autism) she is so intense all the time. It's nice to hear of your experiences, i can relate to many of them

i'm totally planning to use this line: "what can i do, to make this easier for us all, right now?" Thank you.

as a uni student on the spectrum, i wanna have kids and i worry that my kids will end up being on spectrum too. this scares me a lot because i feel like people don't like me for my "weirdness" and i don't my kids to suffer from that either. this video really helps with perspective! I love your channel, Samdy Sam!

This video of yours has opened my eyes soooo much. I did this. I even said the words to my friends when my baby was born “Erin is gone, I’m only mummy now” and I hyper focused on my baby for 3 years and then burnt out and had a total breakdown. I over research everything about raising my kid. Still do years later. I also suffered so much sensory overload. I coped by listening to HP audio books over and over and over through all the screaming and not sleeping. I’ve been watching your videos and feeling so very emotional. I think I must be on the spectrum and have never known. Your lists and descriptions have been so much. I’ve never felt understood like this. 💚 thank you for talking about this.

I'm so happy to have found your video! I am 34 years old and I was diagnosed with autism when I was 31 years old. I am currently three months pregnant as well. Strangely today I was having such an emotional day thinking about being a mother with autism and I'm so thankful that your video is here and I'd love to connect with you I relate to so much of what you say.

I'm still undiagnosed, and in the u.s. it unlikely I ever will, but I relate so hard. My kids are older now, and unfortunately I can't say it gets easier. I have, on the verge of a meltdown, told my children that so wanted to pierce my own eardrums and go deaf so that they couldn't hurt me anymore. That's not my proudest moment. Elimination communication didn't work for my children, because they struggle with interoception. I did try, believe me I did.

I’m so glad you’ve made this video! Because I was diagnosed with autism when my second son was 1 and I’ve been trying to find a video about mothers who have autism and there have not been that many. Your experience is exactly the same as mine and you did such a lovely job explaining it!! Good work!!😊

I feel a deep connection with you. I lived almost the same experience parenting. Have 2 year old now and what you share here means a world to me. Thank you!!

Thank you for this video! I am an autistic soon-to-be mum and I have been thinking a lot about how being autistic will impact my parenting. It was really interesting and reassuring to to hear your take on it all. I know all autistic people are different but it is nice to hear from someone who has been in that position as I don't really know many autistic parents.

i have the opposite problem. I did not develop a special interest in parenthood instead the more i read about being a parent was the more stressed and anxious i become. It got so bad i ended up quitting my job earlier then intended bc my doctor demanded me too due to how tough my pregnancy was. Oh i also had postpartum depression for a year and needed way more help and accomadations bc of it. I felt so guilty and ashamed and now im at the point, "i wont ever be the best mom but if my son does have issues with me i should be open to this and willing to change once he brings it up!" i want my son to at least feel safe to discuss and share his opinions around me and if thats the one thing i can do right as a parent then thats better then nothing

Thank you for sharing your story! I was diagnosed after the birth of our second born. Motherhood was a ginormous shock and I connect with so many of your points. I was blessed that I am a primary school teacher and that I’m not having to research as my knowledge is there but I understand what your brain is doing 🤓 thank you!

I resonate with everything you've said. I've only very recently discovered my autism, in part because just like you all my coping mechanisms disappeared when I had my daughter and executive function got so bad, and in part because I think my daughter is autistic. I'm now hyper-focused on learning about autism so I can help my daughter (who has just started school)

Yes, all of this and my daughter is autistic also with a learning disability, she is now 19 and I constantly feel like I'm going through autistic burnout because I don't have enough help or support. It's hard.

Fast forward to 2020 and we are totally forced to abandoned any 'villiage' we may have built for ourselves and actually be isolated. My brain hurts all the time.

Thank you for posting this content!! I can relate to sooo much of what you say especially having parenting as a special interest. I used to say that parenting was a hobby of mine. Now that my child has been diagnosed and i have found out so much about autism, I can finally understand why I am the way I am.

I loved this video so much! I resonated with every word. I absolutely agonised over making decisions when it came to my girls. The cloth nappies and breastfeeding. All of it! Thanks for making and sharing your videos. I’m newly diagnosed (AuDHD) and it’s so refreshing to watch a kindred spirit with similar values navigate a similar journey that I’ve found myself travelling. Thank you 😊

Even though I'm not a parent... Yet. You really talked openly and alot of the things that you talked about are things at make me worry. You know the sensory side was something I never considered about having a kid... But god they are messing little humans 😂 I'm definitely better in an one to one setting also as I find groups abit intimidating. But I know that's something I'll have to overcome... But this video I thought was really good & I must say it helped ease some of the anxieties I have about parenthood. Definitely think burnout is something you should cover for sure as yes it is similar to "normal" burnout but I'd want to hear your experiences as you explain things really well.

My OCD was the worse at first 3 years of son's life, I did research on nearly every thing I do and every product I buy for my son, from food to sun safe to environmental toxic...... people were bullying me for constantly worrying about my son😭, no one understood what I have been through, not even myself, it was scary, exhausted and very lonely time of parenting.

Love love love this video Sam! Amplified things for sure.

Wow Sam, I have been saying recently maybe it was all the extra sensory stimulation when my son was born that led to my diagnosis of postpartum depression. What if it was all sensory based? Because all my coping strategies went out the window. I like the house quiet, I don't like to be touched too much, I don't like icky things ( they make me upset). And my son was loud, a fussy sleeper and of course had regular diapers. I was sooo sleep deprived and over stimulated I was a mess. Loving your videos.

Thank you so much for this video, my daughter is 16mo and I'm just recently having suspicions that I might be on the spectrum. I kept trying to find reasons why I feel so overwhelmed and I couldn't find any resources about autistic parents, only about parents of autistic children. Your video hits so close to home on many aspects that I have been living lately, it made me feel a lot less alone. Thanks again

You are blessed or a better person than me. I feel completely invaded by having a child. I am a single parent. I try my hardest but wow...I really have to TRY. My boy is 6 now and birthday parties , I was always melt down afterwards. My boy talked incessantly. I had to keep up. Now I talk too much. Its messy. I am insane. Just winging it. Hoping he will be ok. Poor kid. I don't love being a parent but I love him so I keep going.

Never have I related to anything more. My son is 2 and I am currently in the diagnosis process. I feel like you’re speaking my entire experience of motherhood

I'm autistic and I have a 7, 4, and 2 year old. Two weeks ago I gave birth to my 4th so we've added a newborn to the mix as well. I love motherhood but it feels so isolating because I know no other autistic mothers. Motherhood is hard on everyone, but I feel misunderstood by my "mom friends" because they just don't understand the sensory burnout or my auditory processing disorder. Really excited to subscribe to your channel!

I also did BLW with my baby it's great!! I have no issues with the touch sense, but the noise, omg the noise... What 'triggered' two friends of mine that made them tell me "have you ever thought that you might be autistic" is a meltdown I had about the noise, and then I started googleing for noise canceling earphones. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not autistic. That's fine. But the noise really gets into my body and brain in a way that it hurts, always puzzled me why wasnt everybody like that. My child is now 6 years old, and the noises change, yeah.. but the constant playing and yelling, while in midst of a pandemic, is kinda crazy. So wish it will be better for you in the years to come. p.s - also used cloth nappies, I turned maternity into an hyperfocus and read about to the point I turned it into my job (I gave courses and trainnings, And created an KZfaq channel - not this one I'm writing from - to talk about natural birth, labour preparing, maternity etc haha - but It was normal routine for me to make other mom's angry about me because I just said what I think about somehting based on the research I did and they got offended about me not being emphatic with their emotional, though I thought I was helping them by diggesting information)! And also focused on her in a way I nuled myself and when se was 2 I was severly depressed and someone had to tell me I should take care of myself too. i also did spend evening reading articles about everything on child development and my husband used to tell me "you already know that, it's enought, go rest, watch tv, you are doing too much" Sorry for the huge message anyways!

Oh gosh, I'm so glad I finally watched this video. It's been in my watch later list for weeks. I had no idea how much this would resonate with me. I'm also an autistic stay-at-home mum. I found out when my non-autistic, extroverted kiddo was two (she's nearly five now), and I've been struggling between accepting that I parent differently and feeling guilty for not providing her with more social stimulation, especially after confinement. This video has helped immensely. I'm still slowly building my "village", and it's hard, but I know we need it. I also know that despite being quite extroverted, my kid does have auditory processing issues and possibly (she's too young to test yet) ADHD. I really wish there were more resources for neurodiverse parents, and I've actually thought of using my own special interest in child development to build a website with tips or something, but I don't even know where to start.

This made me giggle! My hyperfocus/special interest in my daughter led to me finding out I was autistic (after she was diagnosed)!!

I am not diagnosed at all, but what you describe is exactly (apart from being a dad) the kind of issues i have to face as a dad of two and has me wondering whether i should seek a diagnose. Thank you for charing your insights!

I love finding this. I'm mom of two, 5 and 2, have Autism and ADHD and I heated it when I traid talking about my struggles every one huched me down because motherhood is hard on everyone. I wasn't diagnosed het in that time

This was a great watch. I have always felt inadequate as a human, a female and an adult. But becoming a parent is so much responsibility. And as much as I love my daughter, being a mum is very hard. I kept feeling as though I was doing things wrong. I have learned so much over the 12 years. And with Skye being autistic too she teaches me so much on a daily basis. And I am definitely not a conventional mum or person for that matter. But it has been difficult. And now with her going through a lot of hormonal changes it is getting quite challenging in other ways. But it's great to know it's not only me who feels like this.

Thank you for talking about this. 💕

I only just discovered your channel and so I am late in joining this discussion. But thank you for posting this. I am not a mother, obviously, but my wife and I have three adopted children, aged 9 months, 2 years, and 18 years old. The 18-year-old was one of my students before we adopted him, so we have gotten all of our kids in the last two years. I am not officially diagnosed, but we have started to realize in the past few months that I am probably autistic. Before I realized that, I struggled with some of the parenting things you described - sounds, smells, needing the precise answer for every parenting situation - and I worried that I simply was not cut out to be a parent and that I would never be able to be a good father because of that.

I'm not professionally diagnosed yet, but I'm definitely simmering in a "self diagnosis imposter syndrome" space. This video made me cry, in a good way. In a "holy shit that's why I deep dive into [fill in the blank stage of parenting]." I also had post partum depression and anxiety really horribly, and it got better, but never really went away.. I can't ever feel like I relate to other moms the way I'd like to.. I have pathetically few friends but also no capacity to make friends, knowing I need deep connections with people... Thanks so much for posting this and I'm glad I got to discover it well after the fact!

My daughter is almost 9 and is an extrovert... She wants to hang with her friends, I want to avoid social situations... Super fun times

This is a great video! I can’t wait to be a mom one day but it’s good to be aware of how my autism might impact my experience. It’s comforting to know that there are ways to cope :)

You literally describe my experience… my 2y/o exhausts me + my husband, both are a crowd of noisy people for me. I need 1-2 hours every evening in silence and darkness in the kitchen to recharge to not get crazy. The worst noises are the child crying/screaming when throwing tantrums and throwing toys (especially Duplo blocks). My husband is unhappy that I use ear plugs at home. I still hear everything but it’s easier for me. He can’t understand it. Funny thing is that my husband may sit next to our daughter and not smell her nappy… and I can smell it from another room or kitchen 😅 I also love my family and do my best to find time for both of them, although it’s hard when they both are noisy. I just leave for some time and let them enjoy

My 5 year old son recently got diagnosed with autism and I think looking back at my own childhood and now masking a lot at 30 I have autism too. This video really hit home, it’s been real tough at times parenting and being always “on”.

Thank you for sharing. I can really relate to what you were saying. I am a mom of three, self diagnosed and awaiting assessment. My oldest is nine, I have a seven-year-old and a five year old. And there is so much about being a mom that I found overwhelming and magnified the symptoms that I struggle with. I’m just now realizing that I need to make some changes so that it helps me out more.

A really insightful and neccessary video. Thank you. I think you are awesome SamdySam. You are doing so well just trying.

So glad someone finally said this. As an AS mum I related to that so much. Anyone know of any AS parenting online or UK group out there? It would be great if there was a community to reach out to, even a facebook page or something 💛

I am undiagnosed with a 4 year old girl and 6 year old boy. I had to realize on my own other people did not search for every right answer for their babies. I still struggle with making the exact right choice but it is not nearly as intense as it was at infancy. Thanks for this video. I keep scrubbing the inter web for definitive proof that my struggles are not Autism so that I can stop looking and stop being consumed by this research. I don’t seem to be having much luck. My son and his behaviors lead me to researching. Thank you for sharing, I have watched many of your videos and they’re so helpful.

Did you make that video on autistic burnout?! I believe I am experiencing this now. I had to drop out of my grad program which I loved and I’ve been obsessed with figuring out what happened to me. I was a high achieving student, but I entered my masters program and was suddenly entirely unable to do independent work. I was exhausted, unable to focus, frequently losing track of my thoughts in the middle of sentences. I became far more sensitive, unable to leave the house without headphones on. Eating was punishment. I was paranoid and anxious and when I had to leave the program I become depressed. I’m framing this in the past tense but this is all happening now. I need to know what went wrong! When you mentioned autistic burnout I shot straight up in bed. I’d heard of regular burnout and thought I had a very extreme case. I have also been identified as potentially autistic. As you know official diagnosis is difficult as an adult and in the US it is also very expensive (in addition to university being crazy expensive I just didn’t have the money) but it might be worth it if this is what happened to me. Thank you for your content. It’s amazing!

This is very relatable. Thank you for your videos they are helping me a lot

You are absolutely true,I tend to over due things and keep doing research’s and now I know many many things and is not benefiting me in my time with kids I need to spend more time with them this is amazing coming from you and am too a mom

While I'm not married and do not have kids, I could relate to a lot of what you said, and it followed the timeline of when I started grad school (switching from a structured course-based curriculum to a less-structured research environment), and I actually got diagnosed with autism in my 2nd year of grad school. Thanks for this video, as it helped me feel more validated in my own experience :)

Wow, this just resonated with me so much. Thanks, Sam!

My son is 7 and I'm still wiping his butt. He's autistic like me and has a harder time learning, so even though I'm not changing his diapers anymore, he still needs help with cleaning himself after going poo. I'm trying to teach him all time, but it's still challenging for him.

It's definitely hard, I find the crying overwhelming and I have to either leave the room or play white noise in my headphones to get through a diaper change.