Bill Bailey - Man and Woman

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Bill Bailey - Man and Woman - Bewilderness

Рет қаралды 738,294

billbailey

13 жыл бұрын

Man and Woman clip taken from Bewilderness DVD. Filmed at Grand
Theatre, Swansea in 2000.

Пікірлер: 136

@JayJayisOK 9 жыл бұрын

"I've got the new Vauxhall disappointment. Did it come in the colour you want? No." This guys hilarious.

@mvl71 4 жыл бұрын

Carry stuff, don't get in the way. I feel so much better now. The ultimate answer to life, the universe, and everything: carry stuff, don't get in the way.

@bc-cu4on Жыл бұрын

Before enlightenment: carry water, chop wood. After enlightenment: carry water, chop wood.

@rangatank93 7 жыл бұрын

Behind all the humour, Bill's has actually made an impressive statement on 21st century life.

@dh1380 5 жыл бұрын

Yep

@user-yx7dp2pl8t 5 жыл бұрын

I agree, don’t take this seriously, dont think Bill wants people too either

@rogerjenkinson7979 4 жыл бұрын

@@user-yx7dp2pl8t I definitely don't want people too.

@raphaelambrosiuscostco 4 жыл бұрын

We live in a society...

@fuckamericanidiot 3 жыл бұрын

@@raphaelambrosiuscostco We live in a society so cynical that people say "We live in a society..." and not follow it up with anything, saying nothing except "Help me."

@HattmakarNMuzic 13 жыл бұрын

I really can't belive there isn't more views on these vids. This man is a pure genius.

@ElvarMasson 21 сағат бұрын

In my defence, I'm slow 😂 I only discovered Bill Bailey last year 😂

@darkprose 11 жыл бұрын

It's so true. I remember a funeral I went to in high school, and a bunch of my friends were driving together, the car breaks down, and I see my guy friends get out, take off their jackets, roll up their sleeves, loosen their ties, open the hood and stand around it. I was still in the car with the women, thinking, "What are they doing, exactly?" They all thought they were mechanics for some reason.

@madder6218 2 ай бұрын

Great set 😂👌 i appreciate the level of effort put i to this

@captpicard6894 8 жыл бұрын

The Dolphin points are all flooded up through the Donkey Flange. Yes, I've had that problem in my new Ford Super-Thunder-Patrol-Meister, it's a common problem apparently.

@ElfSixDave 3 жыл бұрын

Was about to write your first line, but saw you beat me to it. Almost spat Jack Daniels and coke all over my PC monitor at that point.

@TheMojoSaliva 12 жыл бұрын

'Cover up those table legs mother,t hey are inflaming my sexual ardour'. I had to pause the video until I'd stopped laughing xD

@OhWaker 6 жыл бұрын

Maester Men 404 not found :/

@drdassler 7 жыл бұрын

I put in all new rubber mats. Haha. Still laughing at it. Haha.

@SunnyIntervalsORG 10 жыл бұрын

I had a Nissan Super-Thunder-Patrol-Meister once. It had trouble with its donkey flanges.

@hexonatapeloop 7 жыл бұрын

Well it's your money.

@BiffChunksteak 5 жыл бұрын

Figures. You need whoops on a Super-Thunder-Patrol-Meister, not flanges.

@thfreakinacage 3 жыл бұрын

Should have got some new rubber mats and replaced the grub nuts, it would have sorted that right out.

@welshpete12 3 жыл бұрын

Yes, you can get calamine lotion for that , Nasty !!

@Mortthemoose 10 ай бұрын

😂😂😂

@razhidiz 12 жыл бұрын

"I got the new Vauxhall disappointment" "did it come in the color you want?" "No!" "Brilliant" That was hilarious

@thebigbowler 10 жыл бұрын

when he said "St Elmo's pipe trench" I lost the plot!......

@kuues 3 жыл бұрын

Absolutely brilliant!

@philipbagnall375 4 жыл бұрын

"Cover up those table legs, Mother. They're inflamin' my sexual ardour." We've all been there...

@Mortthemoose 10 ай бұрын

😂😂

@captpicard100 9 жыл бұрын

My car didn't work either when the Dolphin points leaked through the Donkey Flange, just Brilliant))))))))

@Mortthemoose 10 ай бұрын

😂😂

@matthewrandell5055 8 жыл бұрын

Never really got into this guy but saw Limboland live tonight and he's great

@letsgoBrandon204 6 жыл бұрын

Looping down through the grub-nuts?! (sharp intake of breath) it's gonna cost ya.

@martinaneueroth4254 6 жыл бұрын

loving his performance rotflmao

@RonWylie-gk5lc 5 жыл бұрын

Years ago a car enthusiast friend of mine who lives in the states had a Plymouth Fury, I had a Nissan Cherry

@danielwesterlund1905 4 жыл бұрын

Did you lose it?

@MythicSuns 3 жыл бұрын

I had the old Plymouth Fury once, turns out they've got a cream for it.

@estoy1001 6 жыл бұрын

I have a Pontiac G6 Bipolar - sometimes the Engine Light is on, sometimes it's not.

@willrichardson519 5 жыл бұрын

Try the new borderline personality disorder, it's something else unreal!

@christophe5954 3 жыл бұрын

That's fantastic !

@lilliankeane5731 4 жыл бұрын

Blokey bloke blokey blokey bloke bloke bloke bloke 😂 exploiting our weaknesses 😂 ah I laughed and laughed. So much to choose from here.. Great segment..great segment!😂😂😂😂

@paulmorphy6187 Жыл бұрын

The woman at the end is of an exceptional beauty

@ExploreLearnEnglishWithGeorge 6 жыл бұрын

"I've got the new vauxhall dissapointment. Did it come in the colour you want? No! Oh, brilliant!" :D :D :D

@jaspertickler1831 3 жыл бұрын

..well this comedy segment hasn't lost any poingancy after 19 years

@ZayDay67 5 жыл бұрын

Bill bailey is like my U.K pre-scandle Louis C.K, I cant speak on how much i enjoy this dudes humor

@ZayDay67 5 жыл бұрын

He even looks like C.K with a just a fake hairpiece, ya know?

@UFBMusic 8 жыл бұрын

I would totally buy a car called a Super Thunder Patrolmeister!

@westieBrucedavidson 3 жыл бұрын

My brother Love it , Keep it real Cheers

@scotty193 3 жыл бұрын

Put all new Mats in I cant understand it hahahahahahaha He makes me roll.

@turnsout689 11 жыл бұрын

blokey bloke bloke

@BiffChunksteak 5 жыл бұрын

Great how he just plays around with the sound of the word a bit before using it to make a point.

@wanderer1955 5 жыл бұрын

This guy is the ONLY comedian worth watching on TV today. He's original. His musical instrument playing is very funny and very unique, and observational. The rest of the Dave Channel comedians are shyte!!

@kerplunk001 5 жыл бұрын

LOL! " Vauxhall Disappointment"

@willrichardson519 5 жыл бұрын

So appropriate!

@Zak-ob5ze 5 жыл бұрын

Nearly 20 years old

@alfredblarzgh 12 жыл бұрын

Its the starter motor gasket handle, i reckon. its all looping down through the grubnuts. I cant understand it, i put new mats in, all new rubber mats. its not firing up through the saint elmos pipe trench. theres alot of swarf round the tortoise heads. dolphin points are all flooded up through the donkey flange.

@michaeltoner1993 4 жыл бұрын

that's what he said

@garyclarke3233 10 жыл бұрын

love him

@alansturgess1324 3 жыл бұрын

"donkey flange" . . . one those must have failed on my car just before the grub nuts came loose and blocked the scrotal pipes.

@SuperDannyPM 11 жыл бұрын

I want a Super-Thunder-Patrol-Meister!

@RachLZelda 11 жыл бұрын

One year later, I come to inform you, James! You spelt it correctly!

@karenward267 3 жыл бұрын

Shear genius.

@danishpuma 7 жыл бұрын

God damn grabnuts again!

@ninjawhippetproductions7411 8 жыл бұрын

Were there any Lads in that audience?

@Szaam 12 жыл бұрын

Super Thunder Patrolmeister

@davidwantsahug 11 жыл бұрын

DONKEY FLANGE.

@Andrew...00 8 жыл бұрын

Nissan moody. brilliant

@timo___97 11 жыл бұрын

1 dislike, is 1 too many

@mynameisTailsPrower 12 жыл бұрын

roflysst!! Oh, wait, that's another clip! still, same result!

@willrichardson519 5 жыл бұрын

Sst?

@Scottishrule 12 жыл бұрын

I had a problem with my St. Elmo's Pipe Trench too.

@hyena131 12 жыл бұрын

@HattmakarNMuzic perhaps it's because observational comedy went out with the square wheel and Terry & June.

@linzearth 5 жыл бұрын

Listening Not Your . So That's Just normal. All these years I've just assumed it was me.. Can't wait to tell the wife.

@NjorunsDream 3 жыл бұрын

How’d it go? Still married?

@linzearth 3 жыл бұрын

@@NjorunsDream Err yes! I think she has become immune to all of my disorders. So as long as I come home most nights and do the typical blokie bloke stuff like, hang up the odd picture, mow the lawn and take the dog for a walk she's happy.

@LookDeeper 5 жыл бұрын

Superthunderpatrolmeister 😂

@1981stonemonkey 7 жыл бұрын

2:42 Used to ask my ex-gf that a lot.

@ComedyLove28 12 жыл бұрын

I want a Ford clumsy...

@willrichardson519 5 жыл бұрын

My focus turned into a bumpy, thanks to austerity potholes, then it was grumpy...

@sebbythecrabby 12 жыл бұрын

Come to think of it, there is lots of swarf round the tortoiseheads...

@DrowzyDruid 5 жыл бұрын

1:49 the sad thing is I bet this joke wouldnt allowed to said but it's actually a very good point

@claw357x 13 жыл бұрын

@HattmakarNMuzic and there should be more comments lol 1 out of 500 and sum isnt enough really

@FlubbersQuid 5 жыл бұрын

There's a car for all disappointing men, Nissan Juke!

@danwic 4 жыл бұрын

I thought it was a BMW :P

@Amishhellcat 12 жыл бұрын

what i want to know is what he's smoking at 3.20....

@Scottishrule 12 жыл бұрын

@jwmulvay1 What about your St. Elmo's Pipe Trench?

@bokchoiman 10 жыл бұрын

I'm crying of laughter, don't stop what you're doing please man..i don't mean please as in sexual gratification of a man's genital area, ahh that just came out wrong

@clothearednincompoop 12 жыл бұрын

@jwmulvay1 Donkey flange he says.

@Psyrax64 3 жыл бұрын

I thought all Vauxhall’s were disappointing

@Dzztzt 4 жыл бұрын

Make a Black Books Movie! Please bloke.

@jwmulvay1 13 жыл бұрын

My dolphin flange doesnt work either. I'm not even sure how to spell flange.

@chrisclark5746 6 жыл бұрын

Any relation to the 'Phalange' ? ;-) kzfaq.info/get/bejne/etiniaVl27PcXYU.html

@rogerjenkinson7979 4 жыл бұрын

@@chrisclark5746Sorry mate, the Phalange is only available on the superdeluxeGTRXLSSRiD. and then only to special order. There's a very long waiting list.

@Lytton333 11 жыл бұрын

How many blokes know how to fix a washing-machine? C'mon.. hands up..

5 жыл бұрын

I do. Have fixed many. Not that complicated if you can be bothered to learn. Replacing the starter motor on my 1999 Toyota Previa tomorrow for a grand total of 75 quid.

@welshpete12 5 жыл бұрын

I have been working on a submarine all morning .

@HelloMyNamesNino 5 жыл бұрын

I actually specialise in donkey flanges

@BiffChunksteak 5 жыл бұрын

kzfaq.info/get/bejne/erN5q9F3xNSYnJ8.html he actually snuck a melody in there

@TrollingAround 12 жыл бұрын

real blokes dont vote ;-)

@TotallyLostSoul 11 жыл бұрын

My flange fell off weeks ago. It ended up being eaten by a pox ridden badger.

@spacedman42 3 жыл бұрын

Donkey flange..is that legal could be muffin the mule.

@royfr8136 Жыл бұрын

Bill Baily is as funny as a woman.

@robertquinn9040 6 жыл бұрын

Masculinest

@leo6485 12 жыл бұрын

I am a man therefore like this comment.

@mynameisTailsPrower 12 жыл бұрын

blokey bloke bloke bloke lol!

@pizzapr2001 7 жыл бұрын

Lmao louis ck with a wig

@drchunkybiscuit9973 5 жыл бұрын

Surprised he didn't shout to see if there were any Attack Helicopters in?! 😉

@brfchazard9787 5 жыл бұрын

37 Woman dont like this..

@Klamath2046 4 жыл бұрын

I am a man! Ahaha!

@KalEl2404 11 жыл бұрын

There are plenty of Men's movements, Mr. Bailey.

@KingOfGamesss 7 жыл бұрын

Just two...'Up' and 'Down'

@duckserenade 7 жыл бұрын

And sometimes a bowel movement.

@DrowzyDruid 5 жыл бұрын

But we don't do diagonal, that belongs to the queen

@willrichardson519 5 жыл бұрын

@@DrowzyDruid and the bishop...

@clothearednincompoop 12 жыл бұрын

All we me...blokes have is chauvinism.

@manfrombritain6816 3 жыл бұрын

women have been enfranchised... and everyone's miserable

@francaperotti5934 5 жыл бұрын

Vauxhall's are a disappointment

@therespectedlex9794 5 жыл бұрын

We're not quite as useless as he says, especially while he wears his feminist T-shirt. You think a mechanic can't fix cars? A high chance that they would have to be male too.

@random007nadir 5 жыл бұрын

Who's this "we"? Are you a mechanic?

@therespectedlex9794 5 жыл бұрын

"We" is men, and no, I'm not a mechanic. Men are good at lots of things.

@willrichardson519 5 жыл бұрын

Point.The.Missed...

@rogerjenkinson7979 4 жыл бұрын

The Respected Lex . Mechanics don't have to be men. Took my cars to many men. Took me decades to find a good mechanic. She's a real mechanic not a plug-in merchant.

@yukseloden6939 3 жыл бұрын

He has the typical ignorance of an average comedian. About the men's movements he demonstrates it. People are generally hesitant to object to comedians as they are loudmouth, and you cannot win against ignorance.

@alansbinnie1446 2 жыл бұрын

What the fuck are you on about ?

@garybamford1066 5 жыл бұрын

Bill Bailey = not funny

@LegoZacProductions 5 жыл бұрын

Gary Bamford's opinion = not important

@johnphillips1340 5 жыл бұрын

Gary ....... bit of a twat

@willrichardson519 5 жыл бұрын

Not his best, this one...

@AlisonBryen 3 жыл бұрын

Gary Bamford watches KZfaq videos he has no interest in = Hilarious

@garybamford1066 3 жыл бұрын

@@AlisonBryen I am interested, that is precisely why I watched it. I used to love NMTB and I didn't think he was funny, on series 20 episode 2 a pseudo punk called Donny Tourette made a crass and insulting remark to Bill calling him ugly and a tramp. Warned by Simon Amstell that Bill is a professional comic "you won't win" camera then pans to Bill and nothing. If Tourette had tried that on with Simon he would have been ripped to shreds. So I thought to myself be open and look at his stand up, my conclusion Bill isn't that funny. Peace and love to all.