Billy used to pop into my dad's shop near Patrick Glasgow and would always say to my dad...I hope you're paying these weans/ children and he would giggle because he knew my dad never paid us for helping out in the shop after school. Once he bought a box of chocolates and gave them to us. He was always lovely to our dad and my dad enjoyed Billy telling him off

I'm a dwarf who actually just got off the bus 20 minutes ago. I much prefer dwarf (the actual fricking English word) to "little person". If someone offers me a seat? Grateful and happy to take it.

My favourite story about being on a Glesga bus. I was up the toon just before Christmas, must have been around 2005 or 2006. I was on the 34 heading for Govan Cross and the bus was on Renfield St. we stop at a bus stop and a young mum, about 30ish gets on with her daughter who would be about 4 or 5. The daughter is wearing a pale blue coat with white fur trim, looking very smart and like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. In her arms she's clutching this HUGE giraffe stuffed toy. So mum gets the tickets sorted and they sit down, mum takes the window seat, little Miss takes the aisle seat, there's no room for the stuffed toy so it's now on it's side in the aisle. The driver checks his mirrors before setting off, sees the giraffe blocking the passage and shouts down the bus " Here hen, ye cannae leave that lyin there", to which Miss Innocence shouts back " Ye f*ckin stupid? It's a f*ckin giraffe, no a f*ckin lion". Took 10 minutes before the driver could stop laughing enough to continue down Renfield Street.

The "oh please let it be true" killed me 😂😂😂😂

"There's a difference between a little person and a dwarf. One is a fuckin' dwarf, and they both know which one it fuckin' is." Priceless!!! 🤣🤣🤣

This man is one of the most profoundly funny and intelligent men on the planet! Same as George Carlin was.... best of health Billy and thanks for being YOU!

I've loved Billy for years, there's not a joke that he tells,that's not funny, Wise up people, laugh + enjoy it all. Laffter makes the world go round. He's not gunna be here much longer, where are ya ever get another comedian like him?

The greatest comedian ever, also such a lovely guy. I was lucky enough to meet him at Aberdeen airport one Christmas Eve where he was waiting for his daughter’s flight to arrive. I shook his hand and thanked him for a lifetime of laughter. There will never be another like him 😊❤

Something about Billy. He could stand there and read the phone book and I'd still be totally engrossed in his delivery. Genius 🙂

Billy gave a performance in London, Ontario about 10 years ago which my wife and I attended. Billy gave a three hour performance without a break. We never laughed so hard in our lives. Amazing comedian.

I'm from Glasgow and those bus stories are hysterical. When I was getting married, my fiancee and I were taking gifts to our flat. We got on the bus and sat on the side seats, bus is basically empty, past peak hour. I'm sitting next to the pole at the side and I am holding a brass pole off a floor lamp. There is a young policeman sitting opposite me and he is going to the sub station round from our flat. This lady sitting farther up the bus gets up to get off the bus. Evidently bus driver is new, grinding the gears, bus jerking like crazy just as the lady passes me. She grabs hold of the pole from my floor lamp, I was not expecting that, and I let it go. She ends up flat on her back legs up in the air, and she is wondering what the hell happened. I'm hysterical laughing, my husband to be, helps the woman up. She tells him they need to repair the buses, I can't stop laughing. My fiancee drags me off the bus, pole lamp and all and the young policeman gets off as well, 4 bus stops before he should have. Policeman and I end up leaning against the railings of Queens Park laughing hysterically. My fiancee, madder than hell has walked off carrying the shade to the floor lamp. I often wonder how Billy would have told this story. I still laugh when I think about it and that was decades ago.

I had a dwarf on my bus a few years ago. When we got to his stop, I pulled up, lowered the bus and opened the door. He walked up to the edge of the bus and jumped. I swear he did it for comedy effect. I hope so, because I nearly wet myself.

If this happened anywhere else but in Glasgow, i'd say "i hope its true", but because it in fact did happen in Glasgow, i'm pretty sure it's a true story lol

I watched Billy in Canada with my mother who was born and raised in Glasgow. We never stopped laughing. If you share the same sense of humor it is a beautiful thing. My mother is long gone but I can still hear her laugh.

The world will be a very sad place when Billy finally leaves us! Please Billy, live for eternity!

Billy Connolly has had me in stitches for over 30 yrs, one of the best comedians ever,, ❤️😂😂😂❤️🇦🇺

Best story teller in the history of story telling.

It’s the way he embellishes & delivers every joke. He makes a story of every one. Absolutely incomparable. The funniest man ever & a genuine lovely guy 🙏

As a dwarf myself this the best story to start my day with I have ever had and yes dwarf is correct PC language as we are just dwarfs after all

This reminds me of a story my Mum told me. She and my older sister was taking the bus. My sister who where about 4 or 5 years then, had the habit of pointing at things she found fascinating or peculiar and then asking mum about it. Now, my mother had told her before the ride that if she found something they could talk about it later at home and not on the bus. My sis agreed and Mum thought she was safe until a dwarf woman went on the bus and my sister pointed at her and with a clear voice said aloud: “We can talk about her later when we get home!” The sh*t kids say!😂 Poor Mum!

We will never see the like again. Every story a delight to experience, every floor I pick myself up from a joy. Sir Billy, I salute you! 🤏

Not even 2 minutes in and I can barely hold myself together. That's the magic of Billy Connolly. Legend.

You never sold yourself short until this performance. A dwarf sized dwarf. Brilliant.

Currently reading his autobiography. It reads as if he's actually talking. This man is a legend. He's a genius and definitely windswept and interesting

I saw Billy for the 1st time in the late 80's, and never laughed so hard in my life. No one will ever be funnier.

Best stand up comedian ever.

Billy is an hysterically funny man. I really love when he and Craig Ferguson get going together and tell stories.

I’m sure I’ve watched this 100times. 😂

Why had I never heard of Billy Connelly until just this week? This guy deserves an award of some kind.

The brilliant Billy Connelly. Brightening up lives daily.

Absolutely genius. From Glasgow myself and no doubt the story will be true. That's what us Glaswegians are like. Billy Connolly at his best.

I have only just realised how fascinating this man really is. Listened to his autobiography whilst working and was totally enthralled with his stories humour life experience and wisdom. He is a real inspiration for anyone who needs inspiration!

I've heard this story so many times, but it always has me howling with laughter. All the best, Billy.

I just love when Billy starts laughing at what he's hearing himself saying. :D

the funniest man in the world.He has made so many people laugh and cry with happiness.Thank you Billy

I’m already in hysterics at him saying ‘please be true’ 😂😂

This man came into my life when i was impressionable. He's had me in stitches ever since and im now 61. Utterly brilliant at what ever he has turned his hand to. Sorry i missed seeing him live as i now wont get the chance ❤

The most funniest and most recognizable comedian. An adsolute legend. It was a tradition in our house back in the day of VHS at Christmas we'd all gather around and watch and cry with laughter the latest offering from Billy. The memories.🤣👍🏻😂👍🏻😁👍🏻

As he said, please be true. He still has (in my opinion) the funniest ever stand up routine with "An Audience With Billy Connolly" from about 1983/4. The one with The Archers as a new National Anthem for the Olympic team. Pure genius, I have the dvd and cry with laughter every time I watch it.

Billy Connolly and Robin Williams are the two funniest men who ever lived. Love the Big Yin.

Probably one of the best observers of life, certainly the best story teller. Thanks Billy.

And now Billy will be immortalized as Dain Ironfoot, King under the mountain, thanks to his outstanding performance in The Battle of Five Armies!

Always loved Billy. I remember loads of his material and the way he delivered it. The poor family with coats on the bed. Wandering the streets, beer in hand, listening out for parties to crash. All funny as hell.

Please God, let this story be true.

Oh, I’ve always adored Billy Connelly. He has always simply been one of the master comedians in the world.

I swear I could listen to this guy for hours tell all his stories, he is just fucking hilarious. But then I would likely end up in the hospital in stitches LOL One of the best comedians this world will ever have.

The fact that Billy really enjoys the fun in his stories himself as well, says it really comes out himself, what makes it so great. Billy, you are and always will be Billy and that's lovely for us.

One of his best!! A friend in England sent me this after he left the States. Had me rolling!! People need to lighten up and quit being so sensitive to jokes I realize some are really made fun of, but if you stop and think about it, we ALL have things that can be made fun of. Fat, skinny, young, old beautiful or ugly. Its just life....

I have not seen this before and just have to say Brilliant! I did not see the punchline coming. LOL. John, Australia.

I'd love to see Billy's take on our current situations .I'm sure it would be hilarious and a great tonic in such a gloomy time ! Special man 😍

I love Billy Connolly, he always made me laugh out loud no matter what even at his blue material. And right now I need to laugh.

There are life lessons in Billy’s humour and I especially love how unfiltered it is. He just tells you what he sees and hears. His brain is a fascinating and beautiful thing ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Presentation and delivery. He has you hanging off every word then Bang, you're on the floor gasping for air.

Thought I heard all off Billy's stories but this one blew my bald head of hair back lmao 🤣 😂 😆

Nobody makes me laugh like Billy, Since the first Parky show, never fails!

Billy is one of the funniest guys on the planet. What a legend.

I had the absolute honour and pleasure to see Billy a good few years agoThe best comedian I have ever seenA joyous occasion and my sides hurt like hell.It was worth every penny.There will never,ever be the likes of him again.

He was a dwarf in The Hobbit. Lol. Billy Connolly is freaking hilarious.

Biggest regret in my life when I look back, is never seeing him live! I've watched him since a kid, grown up on him, watched everything he has done! He is my absolute favorite person in the world! X

There's a special floating around somewhere on KZfaq where Susan Calman meets Billy for the first time and tells him how he inspired her to go into comedy. He could have responded with a joke, and I doubt anyone would have been surprised, and Susan probably would have been okay with it. But he just smiled and said, "That's brilliant." He then went on to tell her how good it felt to know that he'd inspired someone. When it was time to go, she probably floated home.

I got mugged by 6 dwarves last night..... Not Happy!... Lol.

We all need a good laugh, thank god for Billy Connolly 😅😅

My sister and I would often watch Billie together. We would always laugh so much we couldnt breathe.

By far, the funniest stand up comedian who ever lived…!! Bless you Billy..!

Dwarf on a bus! Straight away you know it’s going to be funny 😄

Thanks very much for giving our years and years of laughs. True Legend 👍 thanks for branching out to your fans. Forever

Your day can be headed to hell in a fury and a dose of Billy will have you laughing to tears.

Wee Dwarf😂😂😂pmsl🤣🤣🤣in stitches ☠️☠️☠️

Billy! Simply the best comedian of our time!

Just the loveliest, funniest man. The only joke l can ever remember is one of his ( the story about his dad and prescription windscreens for cars........).....it's years old, and it still makes me laugh out......

How refreshing to be made to laugh after reading all the disturbing news on the utube clips. Thanks for keeping it real Billy.

A fan for years & saw him live many years ago. My dearest memory though was seeing Cerano de Bergerac at Edinburgh Fringe with Billy & Pamela in the audience. He laughed SO loudly with his leg stamping into the isle, he was hilarious - the audience didn't know what to watch, the play or Billy. Huge love for such a warm, lovely man. 🇬🇧🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴

If you’ve lived in Glasgow, or you’re from there, you know that this story is totally true!🤣🤣🤣

Must've seen this bit 20 times by now... I know how it unfolds, still gets me every time. I also do hope it's true, the big Glasgow woman should get a comedy award for that.

Billy Connolly the most wonderful comedien ever ever. A darn genius.

He nearly lost it at the end and who can blame him! Utterly brilliant 👏🏻

I had a wee laugh out loud to this for three minutes. Billy's humour and wit dwarfs many of the so-called funny men that plague us today.

Would give anything to have a few beers with Billy. Be in the presence of greatness but feel like your with an old friend. That's the man he is. Love him.

Amazing live, laughed so hard for hours and when I left could hardly remember a thing he had said just knew I had literally cried at some points with laughter. Had to buy the video to rewatch. Thank god it was recorded . I still have that video.

Loved Billy’s shows and his tv specials.

From the first time i heard you on vinyl,i have never stopped laughing,you are without question top of the tree in comedy,god bless you for bringing so much joy into our lives.

I was wondering where Billy was going with this yarn. I too have had an experience like the folks on the bus. Some time back, pre Covid of course, I was going to pick my better half up from the airport. I was already late and the traffic was backed up. I got distracted for a second and bumped the car in front of me. We both pulled over and I'm thinking, bloody hell this is all I need, when out got the other driver and he was a little person (dwarf?) He looked really pissed off, so I got out and started apologising profusely. He looked at his car, then back to mine and was fuming, I mean huffing and puffing, I kept saying how sorry I was and he looked at me and shouted "I'm not happy!" I replied "which one are you then?" My apologies to anyone big or small, offended by this story.

Love you and your work, Mr. Connolly.

I must have watched this video 20 times and still laugh my arse off at it. It is my 'go-to clip when I need a proper giggle. Bless Sir Big Yin - long may he reign!!

The best view on life comes from Billy, He should have been prime minister everything would be tickety boo

Lol lol 😆fabulous, Jesus he shortens a long working day 🤣😄

Billy is a remarkable man, very talented and a kind and honest man ❤❤

changing the name of the condition doesn't change the condition so glad i was born when i was

Oh Billy bless you, you put the world into context... you really do!!! 👌😇🙏

Oh thank you Billy, I needed that. You're still my favourite comedian of all time. Bless ya mate.

That was masterful! Such lyricism and timing! Lovely Billy.

The first time I saw Billy was on TV in the early eighties doing a show in his banana boots. I would've been about 12 or 13. Crackup funny! Have been a fan ever since. Absolutely my favorite comedian. Will be a sad day when he does finally leave us.

Billy makes me start smiling with mirth as soon as he walks on stage and before he has said anything. Probably the funniest comedian and raconteur I have ever heard. Bless you for bringing so much joy to so many people. Such a shame that we don't have anyone that comes close to his humour and humility in this day and age.

I have watched this probably five times in the last 18 hours, and enjoyed it each time.

This is my favourite piece of stand-up EVER. I'm crying after watching it for the third time.

I didn’t expect that have such a funny punchline ,,brilliant , billy Connery is a great comedian let’s hope comedy doesn’t get ruined forever by this generation of sad people who get upset at everything

One of the funniest guys ever 😂 Great actor as well 😂

Brillant!

I saw him way back in 1976 on his Yellow Banana Boot tour. I went home with cheek strain. The funniest man ever 🤣

Big Yin ..... best ever ...... and in today's world I can't ever see him being surpassed