As we speak my 42 year old daughter is in a manic. She was gone all weekend. Just sent me a text saying she is in Venice Beach, CA and lost her debit card and would I put her up in a motel. I said no, but I would send an Uber to bring her home. She said no. This has been going on since 2012. She is in complete denial. I can’t enable her. She goes manic, loses her job, gets put in jail, then is homeless and comes home to me in a depression, doesn’t work for a long time, gets a job and then it begins all over again in a manic. I’m the target of her anger.

Whilst I respect what professionals have to say on this condition, it is good to hear the experiences etc of those who actually have to live with this condition, personally.

This channel is a godsend. My 30 yo son is experiencing BP1 with delusions and hallucinating. His anger at his wife and me, his mom is terrifying and upsetting. She has left for her own safety and we are both trying to help and keep a conversation open. Ive learned so much from you!

I was diagnosed in 2012 and Rx'd Lamictil for Bipolar II. I took it for 35 days and then refused to take it because I made me very depressed and lethargic. Since then I have just been in denial. I self medicate every day and it seems like it's just getting worse and worse. Now I found your channel and it's getting me closer to seeking help. I never told anyone I was diagnosed, I am heavily ridden with guilt.

To anyone reading with bipolar disorder: you are no less loved for that. YOU MATTER. You are a great person, despite any mistakes you may have made. Stay strong, and don’t forget you have people who love you.

It's so difficult trying to face this when you're alone with no support or love from others!!!

Just wanted to let you know that your videos are so helpful to me and my spouse. I am the one with bipolar and it took 4 years from my diagnosis until I was stable and found the right combination of medications. Thanks to my husbands patience and love we have just celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. Hope you keep making these kinds of videos. They are so helpful!

I am bipolar( from a year) and I am 13 years old. I wanted really to to say thank you so much because your channel helped me and my family ❤👏👏👏 ( actually my psychologist advised my family on your channel to learn more about bipolar disorder and how to deal with me)

My wife won't admit there is an issue and it is breaking my soul. I don't think I'll ever be the same person and I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's really affecting my already fragile mental health 😔 I appreciate your efforts. It has helped me considerably.

As much as I wanted to be there for my friend she would not listen and it just felt like I was enabling really exhausting behavior. There were no boundaries. I was so exhausted and my head was spinning I had to walk away. I know bipolar isn’t easy and cannot imagine. However if you are losing yourself to help someone who is not listening, treating you badly and sucking out all of your time, you need to detach. We glorify helping but for those trying to help, creat strong boundaries and take breaks. If you don’t, you may just end up being in a co dependent toxic relationship.

My ex-wife is bipolar and I tried for years to help her. She was in denial and refused to get professional help. In the end, we divorced because the damage and suffering was too great. My mental and physical health was badly affected and I had to separate to survive. Very very sad. I hope she will get the help she needs but it can only happen if she acknowledges that she's got an illness.

Thank you so much for this. I stopped my meds in December because I was in denial over my September diagnosis. I didn’t realize it until I had a really bad manic day today that paralleled my unusual behavior from almost two years ago. For me, my mania is the worst when it comes to love and men. “Falling in love” when I just met them, pushing and pulling away, being so obsessed, etc. it’s horrible and I know it’s not me at all. That’s why gets me. What I did tonight wasn’t me at all, and I need help. I wanted to embrace mania because of how happy, interested in love, and sociable i am. Yet, I’m so anxious. I used to have severe social society and it’s scaring me. I can’t live this way. I need help. Going to call my school’s psychiatrist. I’m so embarrassed thinking I didn’t need help nor meds. I’m crying a bit. I don’t want to be stigmatized or have an incurable mental health. I hate it; I really do.

Thank you, I'm having a hard time with my partner and after years don't know how much more I can take. Thank you for the booster shot of strength and perspective!

You're a brave man and I appreciate your honesty. Facing mental illness is difficult - my sister will not believe she is either Bi-Polar or has paranoid schizophrenia, even though she suffers greatly and her life is a mess. It hurts us deeply because she will not listen to any of us, and believes we are all out to harm her and her son. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us.

My best friend has been telling me I’m bipolar for 8 years now. And as I enter my 50th hour awake I’ve been researching and watching videos on the subject for a few hours now. Definitely starting to believe him now.

Thank you for the channel. My son is bi-polar and I and his mother are struggling through ANOTHER rage episode from him. My heart hurts for him but he is far from ok. Your channel has been there for information and support. He tells me he watches your videos so I'm thankful for that.

I had been abused by the system since I was diagnosed. It was so hard to trust the “professionals” treating me like an animal. Finding the right care made a big difference in acceptance.

Thank you Rob, I shared this with my brother who wanted more positive ways to help me. You are helping lives. Families and us diagnosed. All the best to us all.

Your every video is the same. Priceless.☺ You're doing a wonderful job and your loved ones are actually doing something better. They are kinda help you do this job, right? May I suggest something? It could be difficult for you but let me say it anyway. How about some role-play on actual taking care of a bipolar loved one? A spouse (definitely a spouse), daughter, son, friend, like that. In a role play, we can get to see it like a movie and we can learn a lot if it's a video (Your talks are Top Of the class, but you know what I am trying to say)☺

Thank you so much for this video. As a spouse of someone with bipolar, I struggle with the denial and lose patience for the excuses. This video reaffirms that we are not alone and there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and to not give up.

I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 last year, (this was after scoring a 28/30 on the post partum screening) & went to a intensive partial hospitalization therapy program where it was M-F from 9 am - 2pm for almost two months. Felt great, was on meds for the first time & etc. well, it’s been about 4 months now that I completely stopped taking all my medications & just allowing myself to suffer again. Im too afraid to reach out for help (I only got help last year bc I didnt really have a choice). My dr that I was seeing for my bipolar treatment ended up closing down their office & once that happened, about a month or two after the office closed, I just stopped & started ignoring everything I learned to deal w/ my bipolar. I’ve been dealing with intense mixed episodes, depressive episodes & hypomania. Like I mentioned before, I’m too afraid to ask for help. I know that one day, my bipolar will most likely take my life. When, who knows but I feel like it will happen. I’m only 25, I’m engaged & have two boys & a step daughter. I’m only here for them but I’m tired of fighting but I cant get past my fear of reaching out, getting help & putting myself first. This probably makes no sense either, my mind is kinda all over the place as I write this..

thanks may God continue to bless u and keep you.

I really wish I could talk to someone in your position, like you, because we have lived this struggle with our daughter for years. I’ll keep watching.

Hi Rob, I find my music style and choice indicates my mood swing before I'm aware of it. It seems to be quite subconscious, by the time I'm aware of it I'm in the thick of it.

Thank you a thousand times. I’m glad to see a person with bipolar talk about it and help everyone understand and that you can make a difference in your life ... thank you.

Thank you so much for your content. 3 weeks ago my husband of 11 years raged on me and my children. We found an amazing therapist and it's looking like bipolar 2. I always thought he was just a high energy busy guy but now it makes sense as this illness can get progressively worse when untreated. My heart goes out to everyone affected by this illness and you are lovable in every moment no matter what your mood is.

If my girlfriend refuses to get help? Im done. I need to say that for my own mental health. Theres nothing wrong with that.

EVERY video you present speaks to me personally. It's like you're inside my head or narrating my life. THANK YOU for giving me a reason to live again.

There is also a lot of misdiagnosis and misdiagnosis is more damaging to people than anything else.

My wife refuses to admit she’s sick, it’s been 3 yrs of a living hell, btw she’s pregnant ( unplanned) I’m gonna one last time tell her, either she gets help or I’m gonna leave, I will also fight for full custody of the baby if she refuses. Hopefully the very real scenario of her losing everything will wake her up, if not, then I have no choice but to leave, MY mental health demands that

Thank you. This is me. I wish my family would listen to this. You are so empathic and articulate. I appreciate your wisdom sharing.

Your an amazing young man. Thank you so much for your courage in helping others.

I understand that this can happen with a lot of people who have bipolar disorder, but this fact makes life a living hell for those who have been misdiagnosed with it

I discovered your videos just today, and they are so so so helpful! I suspect ('suspect' since he denies that anything is wrong with him, apart from "occasional depression") my boyfriend have bipolar disorder, and I have been angry, confused, deeply saddened and extremely hurt for years by his behavior. I am already learning so much and already I understand so much more about how I can treat him, help him, what to say and what not to say, and so on. Thank you for sharing all of this with the world! It is so needed and so so helpful!

I didn't know I am bipolar right fm 1979 to 2018.Once I was browsing for polar bear & I came across bipolar disorder through polar warriors.Suddenly I realised I m bipolar. Immediately I visited a psychiatrist who told my guess is correct.Though I am not totally normal,still I am recovering . Because.of my behaviour,I lost my younger brother also.We have to forgive ourselves & forget the past.I tell my close friends,so sometimes Inyell at them,they remain silent.I was pushed out of my house In 1981.My neighbours & best friends together made me courageous to get on with life.Robert,as you told,we are alive bcuz of some understanding friends.

I am a close friend of someone living with bipolar and he's off his Abilify he has been on again off again with his meds and in and out of the hospital and in and out of jail losing his job as a nurse etc he's been physically and verbally abusive and his family has left him and his childhood friend has stuck it out and I've been in his life for eighteen years but I'm still there I always step away from him when he's off his meds and then I'll be his friend again or back in his life when he's on his meds I love your channel because it's like therapy for me,thanks.

This channel is so amazing. I believe that my so is bipolar and having his first severe manic episode in the course of our almost 4 year relationship. I was having such a hard time understanding what happened until I found this channel and I finally understand. Thank you so much I have so much hope for us if he ever decided to come back from this episode.

For me, it's kinda been the other way around. I always knew something wasn't right with me, but family and friends kept telling me that it would blow over blah blah. They made me believe it too. The worst thing about it was the guilt. People telling me to change my thinking (i always was philosophical) etc. made me doubt my self. Thinking i was weak in character and all causing it personally. That led to me hating my self so much that i was living as unhealthy as i could, constantly flirting with danger and drugs. This had gone on for about 8 years before my first manic episode where i lost 15 kg in like 2 months.

I can't thank you enough for your videos..... Love this channel. It's also not only been helpful to me as a bipolar warrior but also to family and friends to help them better understand the illness... Bless brother

Hey, I would like to see a video about how to manage money when (hypo)manic, or how to make yourself a bit calmer at all. I could really use some advice about that :)

Beautiful presentation, sharing, educating and supporting. I have a few friends I that situation, so I shared your video. Stay strong and love your family more than anything in the world. Great comment:’ people who are hurting will also hurt other people”. It’s symptom of the illness ...yes .. important words to repeat and remember.

Wow..I am living this episode currently with my wife. The deflection, evasive behavior,anger,abuse, etc..but mostly the Denial!! I have passed along this episode to our large extended family as a tool to aid in our understanding Bipolar. Thank you for your continued efforts to assist all and anyone dealing with mental illness. You may not realize but you are ministering to many for the good🙏. Thank you sincerely ☮️

Great to see you Robert in this well produced video. You have integrity and lots of courage.

Really appreciate what your doing

My father has bipolar disorder and has never left the denial phase. He is above 70 now, and it seems unlikely that he will live a stable happy life. This year I have given up, because I could either drown with him or save myself. I have ptsd from all the things that he did when sick. I wish I had resources like these videos when I was a child. I always empathized with him, but could never get through to him.

Thank God I found this channel, thank you so much for the advices ! Best wishes

This is such a vital piece of information, and kind advice. I'm bipolar myself, and I recognise all the phases of denial you describe. Once again you have managed to tackle a universal bipolar problem that never seems to get talked about; nobody ever said to me that denial is typical. Thank you for all your amazing in-depth videos describing the bipolar experience, you are really helping me to understand myself.

Sometimes the guilt kills me racing thoughts they're killing me and sometimes your family makes you feel bad sometimes I want to go to the hospital but I am scared that they are going to leave me there I feel like My life is over I can't even have a normal relationship because I am scared of what they will think about me thank you for your videos

Thanks so much , my brother diagnosed with bipolar l three months ago so I needed this so much , i am from Saudi Arabia excuse my bad English again thank you very very much.♥️♥️🌹🌹

I'm trying to understand a family member better and your videos are so clear and informative. Thank you for these.

Thank you Robert, your so knowledgable, informative & honest. THANK YOU

Seeing it as an illness has helped me so much. I took it as me being a mistake for years and years too.

Thank you so much for all the videos and information. I know this one is 2 years old but it's the exact thing I need right now. I just took my son to emergency yesterday. He's 17 and this is his 2nd acute manic episode with psychosis. I caught it a bit faster this time, now that I can recognise whats happening. After the first in the spring he wasn't given a diagnosis other than 'mood disorder'. My son refused to believe it was anything other than school stress and lack of sleep. He's tried to control his symptoms himself by determination and will alone. I believe he's been hypomanic this whole time with only a few weeks in between of 'normalcy'. He took the meds willingly this time in emergency and I'm praying he'll agree to stay on medication until we find one that works for him. I have hope. This is a horrible illness that robs people of their lives. My heart hurts for anyone enduring the pain and fighting for their lives. You are worth it and I love you. ❤

I would like to thank you for your time, energy, and determination in putting videos up and creating this channel. I was recently diagnosed with type 1 bipolar, I believe it is rapid cycling as well but am unsure but I can inquire about that as well. My care isn't the best but the only option I have is the VA medical system so I am kinda stuck with that. I am in my mid 30's and I probably should have gone to get help much earlier but I finally did when I was spinning out and just couldn't take it anymore. So anyways thank you very much for spending time and helping others educate themselves about this mental health issue.

You have changed everything for me. I've been watching your videos relentlessly for a few weeks now. I was diagnosed as bipolar I when I was 12, and didn't take it seriously up until April of this year. Thank you for doing what you do, thank you for these videos. It's so wonderful to feel less alone in this. My doctors help means so much to me, but it only goes so far in terms of being related to and feeling less alone. Thank you. Thank you 😭❤️

BRAVO! Once again a very, very good and well communicated video. If anything else that has helped deal and maintain a decent amount of stability in the past 3 months, it's been being brutally honest with myself. Not only about the disease and it's consequences, but about THE FACT THAT THE DISEASE IS TREATABLE AND A PERSON WHO HAS IT CAN COPE WITH IT SUCCESSFULLY. I can see that that's the case with you and I have personally been able to do the same. Not on my by no means, but by accessing many of the treatments for it that you've mentioned on this video as well as the many others you've produced previously. "Thank you" seems so insignificant to express what I and I'm sure others watching and commenting on your videos are feeling for your hard work to help all of us suffering with bipolar disorder and depression as a whole. Nevertheless, on behalf of not only myself, please know your efforts to help others are not in vane nor are they sterile. They are producing positive results. I can attest to it personally and I'm sure I'm not alone. Once again you've got my greatest appreciation Robert.

My wife is presently hospitalized after her first big manic episode and it has left our family with so many questions and feelings of despair. Your videos are helping to pieces things together for us so thank you, perhaps when she's stops thinking we put her in the hospital we can work together to be together.

I'm living this with my sig other. He has had a hard time. He recently got back on meds after my urging him to after his dad's death. He recently has new symptoms regarding focusing. He's also dealing with anxiety which he hasn't shared with his doctor. It's so frustrating. It feels like I'm waiting for the healthy normal one to come back because I miss him alot. Unique and special.

I needed this help right now..Just have to find the right words to speak to my family member.thankyou so much...helped me so much ❤

Thank you for all these inspirational videos. I'd love to support your channel more. You should get a Patreon account if you don't already have one. Once again, thank you. I really needed to hear this today.

I'm 24 and was recently diagnosed. I actually started noticing severe behavior that I hadn't really acknowledged before... then, I started thinking about really bad things and would fly off the rails for no reason. I asked my therapist if she thought it could be bi-polar disorder, because it runs in my family, and she kept pushing it aside, and telling me she didn't see that. Then I went to my mom who works for mental health in my state, and told her my symptoms. She told me then, that I needed to go to the doctor and so, I set up the appointment after having a severe anxiety attack and then, I didn't sleep for 2 days. Go to the doctor and told him about the continuing symptoms, he asked me a bunch of questions... and then... he leans back and says: "I think your right, your bi-polar." Double checked the symptoms and now, I'm like: "What the fuck do I do now? What's type 1 bi-polar? How do I manage this? How do I handle it? It's a recent diagnosis, but... I'm not sure how to really feel about it.

I find your talks so informative and genuine ... I am grateful for your insights as I work through this process with my son. Thank you!

Great information Rob! Thank you for sharing. Please keep these great videos coming🤗😘☀

I denied that I had a problem for two years, when I withdrawal no one noticed so I denied it even more it was when my aunt said to me that its not normal for a teen to lock themselves in their rooms or to cut themselves. That talk knocked some sense into me when I started to check my life, I'd document it all on a calendar and tell all my friend to tell me all the changes even the slightest one. When I looked at the calendar after 6 months I knew something was wrong I knew my aunt was right that I had a problem because if I didn't fix me maybe there would be anymore of me left. I had to say it out loud to feel better 'I'm bipolar and that's OK' I'd say that when I get depressed or manic and that's caused me to accept me

I love your share and humility and vulnerability. Thank you. Good bless you for this.

You will never have any idea how much you help my little family thank you and God bless you stay well bud you’re awesome

Thank you so much for your videos, they are amazing, all of them. please keep sharing, this is absolute the best channel I've seen on bipolar.... Much love

Hi Rob. Thanks for this helpful and informative vid. Tracking moods is a great way to manage this monster illness.

Hey man this was so me at first, but I finally seen it and got help. they got me on the right meds finally after 5 years I been able to do things i did before this hit I love your videos as always. hope you have a great weekend 💪 stay strong man .

Ahhhh nail on the head there! Your videos are a huge breath of fresh air. It takes a long time to accept this illness......thanks for your videos. You were born to do this, it's obvious.

Thank you for your commitment to helping us help our loved ones! Words can't express how much your videos help.

Thank you. This is so needed right now. Right in the trenches of this denial right now with a loved one.

got diagnosed at 6 years old which is rare and never been medicated due to my parents being in denial now I'm feeling it at 25.

This was me for 31 years. Just started this year 2023 medication and I'm 32 now. I'm finally accepting it and learning to manage the symptoms.

Thank you, very well done. Your videos are amazing!

Thank you for this video. I started seeing a wonderful man a few months ago. Suddenly, he seemed different and moody. Even his typing style changed, and he stopped calling (long-distance relationship). He finally admitted he has bipolar and is now severely depressed. He self-medicates with drugs and alcohol, isolates from friends and family, and is in denial that he has a problem or needs treatment. He has said some cruel things, but I now realize that was his bipolar speaking, not 'him'. All the same, it hurts to know that the man I was starting to fall in love with, may or may not return. I wish I could take his pain away. But your videos have helped me to understand that he must be willing to help himself.

I got diagnosed with Bipolar II, I’ve gone to a mental hospital and that’s when they “officially” diagnosed it. I have also recently, November 10, went to get evaluated to be correctly diagnosed. It was weird, had to do with memory, doing math, doing correct shapes, it was all frustrating and made no sense. Obviously I understand that they have their methods but it felt like I was being mocked. Your channel has brought a lot of light into my life and my significant others because I don’t know how to deal with any of this.

what a beautiful video,may GOD guide you and give you good health Ameen,I found many answers through this video and many thanks,you are really brave to come forward and helping people

My 26 yr old son just got out of the hospital yesterday for maybe the 5th time in 9 yrs. He knows he has this illness but is in complete denial that he needs medication. He has usually self medicated with Marijuana. Before that, alcohol....what a disaster that was! Ive been educating myself on bipolar disorder and your videos have been so helpful to me. I sent my son this particular one and hope he listens. Ive set up therapy for myself and my first session is this morning. Things have got to get better. I just want my son back 😢 😢

Thank you for making this. My eldest sister has bipolar and has gone to the psych ward 3 times already and absolutely refuses to believe that she's sick. I'm learning a bit of perspective to see what my sister sees and getting calmer toward her behavior. It's not completely her fault and I'm starting to see that.

Wow, you are an amazing human! Your content is helping so many people! Thank you for your commitment to helping others!

Robert, I really am grateful to have discovered your channel. So very informative and helpful me, the partner of a man in BPD denial. 7 years now.

Your videos have probably helped me understand and deal with bi-polar more than any other single thing. But I'd like to know if you've done one on how someone with bi-polar can learn to love themselves.

Thank you so very much for your candid, compassionate and informative videos. Your courage is inspiring. May you continue to be blessed.🙏🏽❤️

Yeah I'm struggling with myself, I been trying to exercise to increase my mental awareness

man this video made me cry so hard also made me subscribe u have such a nice calm well spoken voice thank you keep the amazing work up

Very knowledgeable and Sincere....video.....God Bless You for Sharing.....Your experience! Amen!

Thank you for making these videos, they are helping me get through a dark time

Thank you Rob and your team. I have learned in Polar Warriors You Tube channel in a few videos more than I have on my own in ten years. Good intended Psychiatrists and therapist haven't been the right ones. The content you share in your videos have been game changing for me. Particularly on the subject of recognizing my triggers before I go Hypo manic or depressed. I have finally put my finger on the issue of rapid cycling. I can go from depressed to neutral in a matter of hours. My meds are not working as effectively as they did ten years ago. Ouch. I am so glad to have upped my Patreon membership. So much content to go through. It will take me at least a year of continuous reading and watching vids. Thank you again!

Thank you so much for your wisdom, advise and knowledge ❤️ I'm very positive my boyfriend is undiagnosed bipolar and even he has voiced his relatability to the disorder but I can tell he is hesitant to see a doctor about it. It's been months of me hoping and praying he will finally see a professional. It can be frustrating sometimes to want him to get help but I know I can't make him do anything he isn't ready to do for himself. Your videos have really educated me on what I can do to be observant and help where I can but also not take things so personal when he is not doing okay. I cried watching your video on bipolar and relationships because it was so relatable and was relieving to know him and I are not alone in the struggle. So far every video I've watched of yours has helped me understand this disorder better and hopefully my knowledge will in turn help my boyfriend be more comfortable with the idea of finally getting a diagnosis. I will definitely be showing him your channel. I just really needed to comment to say thank you and add to all the other comments on here with everyone opening up about their stories ❤️

I have a friend in his fifties diagnose in his late thirties been in the hospital on meds told me he didn't take them 2 years ago ended up back in the hospital had been put on injection had his daughter take him off now for 3 months claiming it was reefer madness now I'm just trying to see what's going to happen to him and stand by him thanks for this video and your help channel your helping me cope God bless you

This is a great video. Our son is 30 and was diagnosed with bipolar 12 years ago. He goes through cycles of denial, but self medicates with meth and other drugs and alcohol. It makes it really hard to know what is really happening to him. What is true, and what is not. Over the years he has gotten worse, to the point of threats and violence. So we do not have any contact with him. And will not until he accepts help. But I have hope one day he will. And from these videos, when he does, I will know what to say and do for him. Thank you!

My brother struggles like you describe and he is in a facility rn resenting everyone for putting him there. Your video has been helpful to me and his very upset mother.

Yes, thank you. This is happening to us now. My son is the same - bp1 with psychotic features. Will not touch recreational drugs or alcohol. Ten years of being stable on lithium and he suddenly decided he didn’t need his meds. His brain doesn’t register what is happening. His girlfriend left and he says she will be back after her testing from god. This has been going on for 9 months, mostly manic, not working, but not homicidal or suicidal. He thinks he is God. I can’t get anyone to admit him and feel so lost. Thank you for your guidance.

Thank you for that video... it is so much about me... denial for years treatment having bipolar II mainly depression episodes, haven't seen for years my life was f*cked by the imbalance, using spirituality to try to heal it, stop taking meds when feel hypomanic, so many years of my life wasted withouth proper education and finally proper meds and psychotherapy in order to help myself to deal with my bipolar reality. You are doing great work with those videos. Thanks again for that :)

My neighbour of 14 years has been going of the rails for the last 6 months. He’s been bi polar for over 30 years and have never had any concerns but lately I just don’t know what to expect when we meet, your videos have been a really big help on trying to understand what’s going on and just wanted to thank you.

I'm 33 years old and I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 1 at the age of 13. Once I turned 18 I was legally old enough to stop treatment, medications all of it. This has changed a lot of my personal lifestyle, relationships and opportunities I just didn't realize it until now it was all denial or "willful blindness" I am now having a hard time facing life and I have just accepted the fact that these feelings and emotions I'm experiencing are not normal or healthy. I'm trying to live a normal productive life and I seem to do great but then I start having mishaps again. Also, I've never had so much on the line before and I feel a lot of pressure but it's given me the courage to accept and fight this head-on or I will continue in a vicious cycle possibly ruining my relationship, my reputation can be diminished, ending up jobless, homeless, a broke father or worse off even dead and I know this because I've experienced every one of those things aside from the being dead part ha. I'm on my way to getting married however, this disease will stop you dead in your tracks and have you questioning if your life is even worth living or if these people would be better off without you or just hinder your ability to provide causing the bittersweet feelings of failure. It's very lonely and hard to understand at times even with a full support team I'm learning. I'm just trying to navigate myself and understand what's happening to me. My life has felt like its been turned upside down and I have these horrible feelings that the world is passing me by or that I'm failing, not good enough, helplessness, etc. The one thing I can say to other people lost or scared like me is that if you have a routine that involves being productive at all still Do Not Stop even if you've been up all night long manic! No matter how appealing it seems or easier it is to just stay in bed and do nothing. That one day or that one small bad decision you've made while having an episode can cost you big, I mean rip apart your mind and end up costing much more misery and suffering in the end than what's its worth for most people with this condition I believe. If you reach that point it's hard to come out of and it really does takes something major to wake you up inside. I know I'll bounce back from this like all the other times but this is the first time I'm willing to accept that I'm not well and that I need professional help. The fear for me comes from the fear of relapsing or not managing myself properly so in theory destroying my life that's very good even if I can't see that at certain times. I can relate to making a huge mistake and or losing something very significant to me just to even get the courage to get up and start over. This time it's different, I don't want to lose anything or anyone anymore because of this and I shouldn't have to wreck my life and start over anymore period I've had enough! I wish I was more help for all of the other people like me but I'm simply trying to survive, understand and make the necessary adjustments so I don't end up inconsistent later in my life because people are depending on me.

You are helpful to me. I have a 27 yr old bipolar son. He lives with me.

I have a daughter completely out of control but she drinks it's hard she hates me..I'm. Bipolar I'm 56 I still say I'm not bipolar and the struggle is so real..love your calmness because I scream all the time.. Blessings to you.

Amen. And I said amen. God bless you for getting help and healing yourself. God is in control and I pray that they can get help. Later.