finally, we can relate to BDG in mug form as opposed to all other forms

O h my g o d

wot

I need this mug.

when I get money, I'm buying this

Its actualy weird, they pretty much fuse theyr brains doing that

"Yeah boss, we're totally a completely new and intelligent creature now that we've stacked on top of each other and formed a miniature hive mind!"

That’s a good idea. I’ll get me and four of my mates, we buy a comically large trenchcoat, apply for the military, and it’s smooth sailin’s from there.

The equivalent of 2 kids in a trenchcoat

@@ratgobbler thank you for your service Soldier*

Piranha plants are no longer plants but organisms that evolved to have plant like features to blend in the surrounding environment, apparently. Seriously WHY DO THEY HAVE TOUNGS, NO ONE HAS MENTIONED THIS BEFORE BUT THEY HAVE A FLESHY MASS THAT IS THEIR TOUNGE!

@@brece5452 How else are they gonna menacingly lick their giant luscious lips.

@@Loudoan oh i did not enjoy reading that

I hated reading that, why did you make me read that. That single line was more disturbing than the fact that the mountains and hills in Mario games are technically animals because they can move and have functional eyes.

what the actual frick goes through your minds when you play a mario game, like you see a mario hill and go like "ah enslaved vision" no just..... no...

So THAT'S why he wants to invade the Mushroom Kingdom!

Yeah I lost it

“Hey mushroom kingdom... that oil of yours needs a little... freedom...”

No bowser doesn’t have as many guns but he does have tanks

LMAO

That's the thing. The Art of War was written in the style of philosophy, since that was very, uh... for lack of a better word, "trendy" among China's nobles, and since the nobles led the armies, they'd often focus on philosophy instead of military strategy but still think that they were military geniuses. Sun Tzu wrote the Art of War so the generals could propose sacrificing short term objectives for long-term gains and not have those plans immediately shot down because they could quote things like _Sacrifice the Plum Tree to preserve the Peach Tree_ to their lords. That's why all of the stratagems in the Art of War are incredibly basic--they're extremely basic military strategy, dressed up as advanced philosophy.

​@@ladywaffle2210sun tzu, not only a great military strategist but he also understands the psyche of idiots.

Also he wrote his stuff around 500 BC so it’s not like everybody knew “hey flanking is a thing” or whatever

​@@bringbacktherevolution1064Lest we forget Sun Tzu's often forgotten 14th principal of war "When in doubt, tactical nuke"

​@@bringbacktherevolution1064uh yes they did lmao

the best part is you know they were like "yeah, this isn't entirely unexpected, let's do this"

"hey so i had an idea"

imagining it as a work email made me cry scream ugly laugh

@@MyChocolateLove interoffice memo

It's Polygon. That's probably the most normal thing that happened all day.

It’s basically the tag line for the entire Unraveled series

It reminds me of when Arin Hanson dropped the line “flowers are only beautiful because they wither” in an episode of Game Grumps out of fucking nowhere.

@@RJD-kf1xz But, diamonds and gold are beautiful and they don't wither.

Tom Hill They’re beautiful because they’re unachievable to us

2:27

Now that a real attack of the dead men

Or their term of service isn't ended upon death. Besides, we all know Bowser uses conscripts en masse for his army.

HEAVE HO THEIVES AND BEGGERS, NEEEVVERR SHAALLL WE DIEEE

@IS-2 Heavy Tank *Wilhelm’s forces on the hunt*

@@hirschmeistr6842 *There's a thunder in the east*

Also, for me, the most hilarious part of this video.

Or the subconscious of anyone on the US drone program

Sweet heart there's no right side of a war.

@@dnatwister7t272 True, but there is certainly a worse side and a worst side

nice pfp

But he does hatch in his adult form, suggesting that Yoshis experience childhood while still in their eggs.

@@oneofmanyparadoxfans5447 Some however need to be fed in order to mature, which I'm not entirely sure what that says about their metabolism and development.

@@emdivine Possibly a subspecies, either that or they hatch in the early to mid pubescent stages of life and reach maturity shortly thereafter with a proper diet.

@@oneofmanyparadoxfans5447 Well in Smash Bros an egg is also Yoshi's shield, so maybe they can just form an egg around them for protection. (Given we are considering smash as canon)

Yoshi:This guy freed me from my egg! I can go home- Mario:LETS A-GO YOSHI!! Yoshi:how does he know my name? And why does he want to ride me?

Samuel Lasky MVP right there.

@RENEE PARK Imagine this guy walks into a restaurant and points out there’s technically an OSHA violation, someone asks why he knows that, and his only answer is “Super Smash Brothers”

Lol

@@lollylemur5041 lmao

@@lollylemur5041 how tf do you know that? Willie Wonka

On top of the fact that their voices are annoying as hell, the Toads are FASCISTS??

Wait how did you get this info

@@quirkyqwertyto1055 Apparently it's part of the instruction booklet for the first game.

So you’re telling me the toads forced the koopas to leave. ARE THE TOADS RACIST AGAINST KOOPAS

@@johnballard3403 i just read the wiki, and it says that the goombas were the traitors, not the toads. Although i won't act confident untill i see something about it in the movie or manual itself

Now that was self defense since it was a trap

Actually, since the boos are soldiers, Luigi is just forcefully detaining them. In Luigi’s Mansion 1, you even go back to the lab to put them in what could be described as a proper POW camp. Ironically, your argument disproves itself because it’s only hostage taking if they’re civilians.

@@aidenmcknight2884 That argument falls flat twice because most of them are brainwashed by King Boo, after they aren't brainwashed they should be treated as civillians

Considering the leader of the Boos is KING Boo, it sounds less like they are Bowser's minions and more like they're the minions of a different ruler who occasionally collaborates with him.

​@@Ponera-SamaI think Bob ombs and boos are other armies but are close with Bowser so they do KZfaq collaborations (lol)

Kay “Actively”

@@fuckgandor We want answers, Miyamoto.

They are a Japanese company afterall...

Child abuser snake

@@zaclegoattack It's only a war crime if you lose. American newspapers at the time reported on United States soldiers taking Japanese skulls as trophies, and there are many firsthand accounts that corroborate this. This behavior was only VERY rarely punished, and to this day there are still efforts to repatriate the remains of Japanese soldiers that were taken as trophies by US servicemen.

eyepoo 8:34

Agrees

bdg just simply starting that song recruited me into the navy

IN THE NAVE

Is Davy still in the Navy?

I also love the inclusion of the funny parade

Ever heard of gorilla warfare😅

@@karicrouse2931 Where a bunch of monkeys fight? Can't say I have. Definitely heard of guerilla warfare though

@@ReksratYTBpretty sure that was the joke they were making, dude

@@ahobbit1273 I'm aware

Notice all 3 came from Mario64 jajaja

Don't forget Mario is a communist.

Man matpat sure researches everything and taught me that sibling rivalry is the same as arson or murder

@@theorangeguy6704 Boy that MatPat sure screws up a lot. Remember when he thought Sans was Ness? I don't even hate the idea but, how did he miss that bone is organic?

​@@Silverwind87 I mean, sure, no one is saying Mario doesn't have some points in his favor, but I feel like him being a war criminal outweighs those good aspects.

@@GroundThing _*We_ mean _*we_ feel

Hi. I really like this comment and would like to like it. But it's currently at 666 likes and I thinks that's pretty neat

He's also used as incendiary weapons in civilian areas.

Fiona TheDog you're safe now

@@asparagusnoodle thank you good sir

so theyre like the ottoman empire?

So basically bowsers still has feudalism

There was a Paratroopa in Mario & Luigi: Paper Jam that referred to Bowser as a dictator.

@@paperluigi6132 That's PROPAGANDA!

@@paperluigi6132 Would you be so kind as to give this individual’s name? Traitors to crown must be dealt with accordingly….and to withhold information is itself an act of treason. Choose wisely, human. It may just save your life!

SUN TSU SAID THAT! AND I'D SAY HE KNOWS A LITTLE MORE ABOUT FIGHTING THAN YOU DO, PAL, BECAUSE HE INVENTED IT!

@@Dipstikk he invented the art of hat theft?

@@wooby4104 TF2 bruv

@@HispanicMan oh, I apologize, I'm a normie :(

@@Dipstikk AND THEN HER PERFECTED IT, SO NO MAN COULD BEST HIM IN THE RING OF HONOR

boneless piranha plant

@ If it's alive it'll just flop around, if it's dead it's just a pot with dirt and some dead leaves.

Rehydrated ganon.

I freaking died laughing out loud when he said that

@@IrvingIV *remember to stay hydrated*

​@LoafOf Milk he did say Loosely basing

I honestly thought he said, "there're civilians," and had hunkered myself down for him to rip everything up and start over.

"And they were civilians..."

Nah man it clearly states that civilians are to have their collision damage set false so they end up less likely confused with soldiers and that civilians should not be able to obtain collision damage as it puts many other civilians in danger

It seems like a dark version of “oh my god, they were roommates” vine

Sounds like the set up for an overused joke

The us military is loosely based on the French military with elements of English and Apache.

Eh from the characteristics listed he could have based it on North Korea. This was clearly politicised Still a great video

​@@vulpes7079 Some of the best jabs are at political or civil topics

@@TrueFlameslinger cool. That changes nothing

Elaborate

@@calamaribowl8683 he uses the line as a set up and pays it off with "Mario is a war criminal"

Scout: Sir, the soldiers we just ordered and airstrike on- Protagonist: Yes? Scout: It's just, they're acting weird. Like they aren't all carrying weapons. And they have children with them. Really, they're just picking over the corpses. Protagonist: That sounds more like civilians than soldiers. Are you sure? Scout: Yes, sir! Protagonist: Oh my god, they're civilians.

Reminds me of Spec Ops: The Line and dropping white phosphorus on civilians

M U L A N

As a representative of the Arma 3 community. Its only a warcrime when you can hear the screaming over the anthem.

That actually is word-for-word a line from Homestuck

DPadGamer you have obviously never worked at a school. Printers are absolutely war criminals

@@jayg9283 the one at my school has ptsd i think and it breaks down all the time poor guy

it has PTSD

agreed

Is the song in the background Manhattan beach march?

Mario "I did not know what i was doing i was just told to carry out orders" Mario

It was self defence in many cases, but how much that changes is unsure to me

Someone get Legal-Eagle on this.

DelphanGruss yessss 👏🏻👏🏻

Well, that's a long list to go - Numerous murder of minors (Koopa Kids and Bowser Jr. to say the least. Let's not count Ma' Goomba and Ma' Blooper kids since they're artillery. Spinies, however, are not counted as minors because there is no official way to confirm Spinies are Lakitu's children): at least a life sentences for each koopaling killed, times 3 for all the games they appeared starring Mario, counting main line games only = 24 life sentences - Even more murder of soldiers in their own work exercise (Toads count as well because , following SMB's lore, they were transformed into bricks) = 105 life sentences to say the least. - Contempt towards the castles in Super Mario World: 3 years * 22 (counting fortresses and castles in the special world as well) = 66 years of imprisonment. - Child labour (almost all his companions in both Paper Mario and TTYD): 3 to 10 years for each companion * 9 Minors between his party members (Vivian doesn't count since she's a ghost) = 27 to 90 years of prison - Animal cruelty (for all the times he dropped Yoshi into a pit): this one would be the lightest, because it would only cost him from 5 to 18 months of prison, but multiplied to all the times that he has done it, we're talking years.

Brian, we suck. It's Polygon. You can just say it.

As a veteran, I was already crying laughing before he said it.

I wouldn't call it overly-aggressive. I'd also say its spending is justified, considering what it has to compete with (China, Russia, North Korea) and what's at stake if it fails.

@@combativeThinker oh I absolutely would considering our military has destabilized at least 10 different countries across the middle East and central and south America, spends billions of dollars on jets that don't even work, and positions itself as the "sole good superpower" or whatever despite most of Europe, Canada, etc being able to effectively fall into that role. Like. It can't all just be on us here, and if we'd pull our heads out of our asses and let other countries do some of the work maybe our general infrastructure wouldn't be so shitty because we'd allocate more funds to it. (Like have you seen the breakdown of the national budget lately? Defense takes up upwards of HALF which is. Insane.)

wut

it's true he's too perfect

if you like his singing, look up "the altogether", the band he sings in also, "let's make a music", a comedy podcast where he also sings

He truly is a god among men.

@@VivianLynn8 you're a lifesaver omg

"Honestly, they act more like civilians"...*abject revulsion slowly seeping in*

@@rainbowlemniscate2761 “Oh my God, they’re civilians…”

That and the placement of an employee-owned business as the best boss in Dark Souls has convinced me that BDG has committed himself to lowkey leftist propaganda, and I couldn't be more excited.

Rowan B oh he definitely has

Stop 👏United 👏States 👏imperialism. 👏

Code ah come on I need to get paid

this line alone made me subscrive and like the video

BUT WHO WAS GIVING THE ORDERS?

@@harperreese264 baby mario

@@harperreese264 Pink Gold Peach

...galoomba

@@harperreese264 Brian himself

Oho NOOOO

Geneva Bucket List

"Raised in Mushroom Kingdom, Italy during an era when the Geneva Convention had been downgraded to an optional Geneva Suggestion"

@@Mouseybea great reference

The code is more what you’d call guidelines than actual rules

When God closes one brand of bullshit, another brand opens. Hopefully the future independent work will be extra fun for Brian.

Wait, did something happen?

@@gazelle_diamond9768 Watch the Pokémon Edibility video, my guy. And grab some tissues.

@@gazelle_diamond9768 he left polygon

*cuts hair unravelly*

My favorite quote from that after ‘do them dirty in front of they dad’

@@Mothmaninist Lol came here to say this! "Do em dirty in front of they dad". - Sun Tzu, probably

"Sun Tzu said that." - Soldier, Team Fortress 2

@@Mothmaninist "do the dad dirty infront of them" - sun tzu

I think techno said quoted that during the potatoes wars.

@8:24 For you

@@a.f.g.o.o.e.a5806 stop

Refer to him as "Wet Bowser" again and i will turn the geneva convention into a bucket list

@@BobThePenguin. wet bowser

@@superduperlayne977 oh no!

Pat is my favorite waifu in this anime

@@bepeplia5086 no

@@kingofallfrogs *yes*

It's not a bit, it's just genuine laughter

@@jstar3382 it’s very genuine, but keeping it in the edit is a choice and it’s a choice I love.

I love this so much

this is a fucking gem ahahahaha

I will-a make-a the Geneva conventions in to a fucking check-a-list if you don't sto-

Ok but to be completely fair with Mario he lives in a world where reviving yourself is as easy as taking a jog and finding random green mushrooms. I’m sure the Koopa Troop has a large plethora of 1 ups to revive their stomped on soldiers. (I mean, it’s probably the reason Bowser isn’t dead yet, with his constant lava bath’s)

Best comment lol, wish some sort of awards existed on youtube.

This is why BDG is so much better than Game Theory.

@Emilio Pena mathew pathrew wishes he had half the braincells bdg uses to sneeze

Why not both?

@@nickywalcott1204 Exactly! The sociopathy explains why Mario is so willing to commit war crimes lol

@Emilio Pena I'm just saying that BDG is far more entertaining.

This is underrated

This is possibly the best comment on this video

I'm pretty sure they're just allies

@@inesgeorge2509 they are allies only because they want to take out the Super Bros, with Luigi stealing King Boo's people and Mario being a war criminal. It's a tense relationship

Greetings fellow vFlower pfp.

They honestly struck gold

He one of the only good parts of polygon

I only visit this channel for his videos

i think he is an asset to the team, don’t you, sir?

I really want BDG to appear on my show. If I ever review Willy Wonka, he will cameo. I will go to the ends of the earth to get him to cameo.

Twisty Sunshine I can see him seeing a some what crooked chair or table and he begins, “this is a clear OSHA violation under article 6,, section 9, subsection 4, paragraph 2, line 20, that all ... etc etc”. Then his co workers stare at each for a few seconds then go back to work like it’s a normal Tuesday.

Jelly Kracken Now that was a good video

@@jellykracken4229 For some reason this brings to mind Red Dwarf... 'No employee shall be seen wearing red socks on the 3rd tuesday of October?' 'No! I mean Paragraph 3, obviously' 'I fail to see how ham sandwiches are relevant to this situation' 'No. NO. Section 8!' 'No-one shall tease a hamster on a public highway?' 'You know what? Forget it.'

"Get fucked, Mr. X."

LOOK AT THIS GALOOMBA

Dont forget "ITS THE FUNNY PARADE!"

I love this.

"When I die, will I become Dry Brian?"

Underrated comment

BOI 👋

Yep

Goodbye Reggie, and thank you for everything.

This made me laugh more than it should have.

Mad piano jumpscares. Unagi is the origin of my lifelong deep-seated thalassophobia. They aren’t the same

They called his bluff, guys. Mario's a criminal. Time to bring in the backup *calls MatPat*

MatPat: "yo bro quit stealing muh theories"

My Gospel Churchj Hell g

Polygon: *makes funny joke from the conclusion of the video* GT: *takes joke out of context and tries to reverse engineer it into a theory*

Oh that’s nothing; Neopets once violated the Geneva Convention

jesus christ

i said that months ago. sync!

yeah kind of accurate, brian just does what matpat did before turning to five nights at frongles and underdunder

What game theory used to be, or how I remember it before matpat found FNAF

Rei how dare you

NOW I get it!

fuckin carson lmao

It is hydrated or moisturized Bowser lol

@@lorlok623 Reptiles are already pretty dry.

IVE BEEN WAITING TO FIND THIS COMMENT

*Babylon

@@vr8652 I'm fairly certain they did mean Alexandria and not Babylon but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@@vr8652 If you're referencing the short story of Jorge Luis Borges and it's philosophical implications, then I wholeheartedly approve

+

@@moonlight_victory yes, it was that and how the supposed library had all the possible text combination in existence

it is a lot less funny now

I feel the same way.

Brian David Gilbert is the first and only coming of Brian David Gilbert. I don't think they can be compared.

​@@wwren Their humor is pretty different yes but it's undeniable that both of them produced(ed) the best series on this channel. (debatably the only good ones at all)

Oh hey, I was the person who said that! Thanks!!

I sort of think of him as the Tim Rogers of Polygon.

that really took me of guard

Yes

I'm looking forward to Brian's next album.

@@JordanGold5227 his band is "The Altogether". They released a full album about two months back, and they have a couple LPs. Look them up on Bandcamp or Spotify.

Seriously

...how did you type this? ARE YOU A GHOST!?

It sounds like a line from griffin mcelroy

Maddened Jester no, now they're _Dry_ Supercalifragilisticepialadocious.

F

MagicFlyingMan Brian is attractive, period.

Purbinder keep it in your pants

@@Purbinder03 Yee. Brian's extensive attractiveness is attractive.

@MagicFlyingMan Amen

this implies that polygon is a god and a spiteful (and possibly ancient greek) god at that

[ Koby ] Nah, it’s sonny the hedgehog

He also sold his soul to a demon to know when he dies, kzfaq.info/get/bejne/sJtykquDp6rbpps.html

Chris Krentz he is a masterpiece

They said being an english major doesn't pay.

His alignment is definitely chaotic lawful

Roland Caters But…that’s not part of the alignment chart…XD Maybe you meant chaotic neutral? XD

MV96 no. He has a strict moral code, but nobody can figure out what the hell it is

Roland Caters LOL! XD

As it should be in all military hierarchies

Is this not normal? What country do you live in?

@@memerman9268 Apparently, a country without Dinosaurs.

@@chaihill1837 there are countries without dinosaurs? Strange.

Because it’s a mother fucking T-Rex.

War should never be exposed to the horrors of it.

That should be a war crime itself

They ARE the horrors or war

Fury Bowser is acceptable..He’s flipping larger.

@@Lemuel928 and also not cat.

Knowing them it was probably Jenna's idea and they were all super down

“We are the World” actually bangs in this situation honestly

ikr, lmao

Death does not excuse you from service under the Koopa King

Mario claims another civilian victim. Will his reign of terror never end?!

But aren't Koopas civilians and Koopa Troopas the literal troopers?

Fun fact, when Mario jumps on a koopa, they don’t actually die, either he knocks them out of the shell or they go inside the shell and stay there for a while. Unless you do a super Mario world spin jump of course.

figuratively*

He could be a vassal king, there are many examples in history

does patriotic civilian count as war crime?

@@Sora-dragneel YES.

I know we're not counting RPGs, but if we were, Bowser does provide Koopa Troopas uniforms- they wear sunglasses, and everyone knows that makes them identifiable as troops.

@@Sora-dragneel It doesn't as civilians are not legal combattants therefore they are not considered to be taking part in the war, i.e. can't commit war crime. Whatever civilians do is subject to normal law. Civilians who do unlawful acts to contribute to fighting off an invading force will probably be pardoned by their state, but if they are captured, or find themselves in occupied territory, they might be jailed for whatever unlawful act they committed.