As a shy, bookish young black girl I consumed a lot of stories that featured white girls having adventures, defying gender stereotypes, discovering magic and falling in love. I absorbed those stories and came to see those characters as my closest friends, my heroes, but I also absorbed some very ugly ideas about myself at the same time. They manifested themselves in the way I thought about my kinky hair, my body, and my worthiness as an object of romantic love, things that I am still working through in my 30s. I literally had this image of myself as a big, awkward black beast that was totally divorced from the reality I see looking back at pictures of myself from that time. I didn't discover stories that centred black girls as heroines and romantic leads until much later on. When I read those stories now, I feel really sad for the child I was who never got to have that experience.

This whole "adultification" topic hurts my heart so much. I first found out about it around the time of Tamir Rice, studies that show that people perceive black children as being older than they are. The whole thing seems indescribably painful from the outside looking in. I experienced the tiniest piece of it because I was always tall for my age and looked older, but I'm a white girl, so it didn't put me in danger, it merely felt unfair. What happens to black children all over the country isn't merely unfair

As a black little girl I was always treated was such harshness by my parents and by my teachers. I couldn't be talkative like my white peers, if I was I would get punished and an example would be made out of me. So, I became silent in fear of being punished for the 100th time. Other girls who were white would make fun of me and mock me. When I told the teachers that they were bullying me they saw it as me being a complainer and I would get scolded even though I was the victim of bullying. My problems are always being brushed under the rug as if it's nothing. I would be told by my black father that my problems and hardships wouldnt nearly as bad as his. And he invalidates my experiences. My father would tell me I needed to be more soft and nurturing so that a man would consider me marriage material. That I need to be more agreeable and not disagree with others. That I shouldnt have an opinion. Everyone in my family always comes to me with their problems and dumping everything on me. Or if something happened that they didnt like i was the one they blamed. I was and am an easy target for them. But, if I want to discuss how much they've abused me mentally, emotionally, and verbally they dont want to take responsibility. They say that I made them treat me with such disdain and disrespect. My family says if I didnt do this or that then they wouldnt have cursed me out and talk shit about me. Because I'm a black woman I'm just supposed to talk the abuse with a smile on my face and no complaints. It's fucked up.

Your point about the adultification of black children reminded me when (white) parents were pissed when Nickelodeon talked about racism. They thought their kids were too young to learn about racism but don't think that kids experience racism at that age.

Way better than any lecture I’ve attended in college.

I am currently writing a coming of age script and the three main females in it are going to be black. This essay has put a lot of things into perspective for me. As a more introverted black girl growing up I’ve never had characters who I looked like for me to connect with ( except my girls from Twitches and princess Tiana) As I find myself falling into filmmaking I hope that I’ll be able to portray black females that I wish I had to look up to. We can be strong, we can be clueless, we can be delicate we have the range

23:19 An interesting example of "adultification" is the novel Iola Leroy by Frances E. W. Harper, which was one of the first published novels written by an African American woman. The titular character is raised believing that she is white when in actuality she is a light skinned black woman. When Iola finds out about her heritage is the moment she loses her innocence. The realization is framed as devastating and irreparable (harkening back to the fact "mullato" children could never be accepted by society despite being able to pass off as white). Becoming a black woman was the moment Iola's childhood stopped and the book goes in length about how innocence is both a luxury and a privilege.

as someone who went to a predominantly middle school, i can confirm that many middle schoolers of color act like that. people are finally coming face to face with how kids really act and instead of having a discussion about it they just wanna get angry about something they have no knowledge on because they know it will give them followers and attention. people do not know how to think for themselves no i'm not saying that cuties wasn't problematic because it is, i'm saying that people don't know how to have their own opinions. they see what is popular and run with that before even looking into themselves.

The notions of sexual promiscuity attached to black women makes being asexual incredibly difficult. People expect me to be easy or at least more sexually adventurous and having to explain i have no interest garners a lot of strange responses. I have white friends and sometimes they get a different response from the same person when they talk about their own asexuality. As if somehow being a black woman means you're always sexually available, regardless of actions, attire or attitude. The literal worst

also selah and the spades was literally a great movie about black girlhood and it had everything white film stans love but it was a dark skin black girl so no one cared

i literally have never had an interest in little woman cause it's only white women. i'm tired of it it's 2020 why we still having all white casts.

Thank you for bringing up trafficking and it's prevalence with girls! I work with teenage girls who have been trafficked. They are 11-16 years old, most have been abused before age 11. And these kids don't know how to be children, how could they? Adults never set boundaries for them and they were always asked by adults to do things outside of their role as a child. The way that they dress, carry themselves, talk, the makeup they wear, and the way they do their hair is all a performance of adulthood, but there is no mistaking that they are kids. My favorite moments are when they are unabashedly children and they just get to be kids because that's when they really seem to be free.

I'm glad Sex Education is getting more diverse and realized that it's characters of colour shouldn't just have been sidekicks, one dimensional rude minor antagonists or the "obstacle choice" in love triangles but it's frustrating that it happened in the first place. Hope Viv gets more attention in the next series.

When you were talking about Cuties, I suddenly remember that one scene at the end of Little Miss Sunshine (you know the one) Which made me uncomfortable as a 11 year old. Little Miss Sunshine had several awards and was a box office hit. So yeah, there is some double standard.

As a mixed Native woman, I think it's very telling that growing up I was assumed to be 18-22 from about the time I was 12-13...and then continued to be assumed to be 18-22 into my late 20s. Simultaneously being viewed as too adult to have a childhood, but also too childlike to be respected as an adult. And as a supernerd who is like...way too into learning things, my breadth of knowledge/intelligence is always surprising to folks, likely influenced by some of these factors. I have to hyper overachieve to prove my worth and that's kinda shit if I stop and think about it. Obviously a Native experience and a Black experience aren't going to be 1:1 or anything, but these elements especially rang true for my experience

Tess of the D'urbervilles is actually a book I really appreciate, which is weird because I don't generally like tragedies and the male characters are by and large really shitty. But Thomas Hardy (the author) is very clearly on Tess's side, and the book stands as a criticism of those who condemn her, with a compassionate tone towards Tess throughout, even down to the subtitle in many editions: A Pure Woman. It's very moving and startlingly progressive.

"Sweet Summer Child, with your Summertime sadness"! I need to work this into a general conversation. This is my goal for fall.

You just confirmed what I want to study for my doctorate. I will make a note to cite you properly and shout you out if I get around to applying and graduating 📝 Adults truly treat Black children like trash for acting like......children! And Black girls specifically? 😷😷😷 All too often I have to point out to loved ones and coworkers that their language towards and about Black girls is concerning. I have more things to say but I’ll save it for a random doc that will hopefully be a personal statement lol You just told my 12 year old story, too 🥴 Get Up 10 is my SHIT. It’s my “I’m late to work, let’s gooooooo!!!” song 🚙💨

As a white cis man, damn. I thought everyone was sick and tired of "coming of age" stories. You gave me a lot to think about. Time to read some more books, eh?

Props for fearlessly wearing that outfit

This video was excellent! I was so happy when you discussed how femininity excludes black women and emphasized lower class women too. The dynamics of economic class and gender roles is usually left out of conversations about femininity and sexism. Also I appreciate your openness and honesty about your body and self worth. I don't have any thing else to add but sing praises cuz YOU DID THAT lol.

I don't know why this happened now, but when you said you were an eleven year black girl, it brought me back to when I was a seven or eight year old black girl. I rode the special ed bus to school and the district I went to school in did not seporate kids by what disabillity we had. So, I ended up on a bus full of...spirited boys that would sing "you're a slut, you know you're a slut. you got 24 crabbies up your but" How ,uch room would I have getting mad about Cuties when I had that life experience?

When The Pinkprint was talked about a tear was brought to my eye, she has so many soft, deeply emotional songs that she never gets praised for; it's just a damn shame. Thanks for the video!

Princess you can see by my avatar that I'm indeed ~~alabaster white~~~ lmao But, I'm also Brazilian, and a poor one, raised by poor women of colour (grandma was a native child slave and the man who abandoned her with seven small children was black) so black narratives resonate with me in a sense of being treated like an adult from young age, the complete alienation from all the "domestic angel stuff" because my mother and my aunts never had that kind of treatment either. I'm not trying to pull a Halsey shit here, I know my whiteness give me countless privileges that my poc cousins will never have (I am writing in English after all), but I feel so detached from this whole white female tears discourse because that never worked for me at all. What I mean is that I totally agree that coming of age stories about black girls should be seen in a more universal lens because in my experience they are more universal than the coming of age of a white rich girl whose trauma though very valid was to be put in a gilded cage, most of us had to fend for ourselves. But a gilded cage would have sound very nice for 9 years old me that had to cook my own meals after school ya know? I think we need to stop pretending that having to be responsible and not being able to rely on anyone because you are a "strong woman/girl" is the same as having agency. I had no choice then, I have no choice now, if I had choice I'd not chose to work three jobs to pay my bills. Where's my chance to be the feminine girly girl with flowers in my hair baking cookies?

The movie discussion at the end, it became clear quite early on that a big part of the backlash was exaggerated bad faith criticism to weaponize the discourse against a black woman. One movie from my childhood that I still love is "Akeelah and the Bee". I'd love to know your thoughts on that movie, and if there are any issues around that movie I should learn about. For me (as a non-black POC not from North America) that was my first exposure to a story about black girlhood.

There's a great essay called "The Future is Pale: Race in Contemporary Young Adult Dystopian Novels". It's in a book called Contemporary Dystopian Fiction for Young Adults. It's really interesting. It discusses the way that black and BIPOC identities are erased in works of Dystopian Fiction and Science Fiction for YA audiences, and racism itself is treated as a symptom of a barbaric past born of ignorance and stupidity while ignoring the fact that the society and many of the MCs operate under the assumption that beauty and their own privilege is inherently white. It allows authors to skirt the issue of how it affects modern society and the systemic structures in place that reinforce implicit assumptions about race and racial violence. I recommend the essay. Not sure if you've read it.

Crooklyn is my favorite movie because its one of the only movies I saw growing up that explored Black girlhood. It was released in the 90s and it was so important for me to see as a young Black girl. Up until that point all I saw was white girlhood like The Olson Twins, The Babysitters Club, etc. But even that movie can be critiqued because at the end there is some adultification that is placed upon Troy (the main character).

First, I appreciate the commentary on Cuties. I've found it so frustrating to see the focus being hijacked from a story of girlhood to a focus on predators. I remember the first time I saw pictures of Emmett Till, I was about 7 when my grandmother sat me down for a history lesson.

“Not dark skinned ones, or fat ones, or non New York or LA accents”! Such a great observation. Totally agree. This was a very well edited and thought out video. Thank you for your time, knowledge and sharing your personal experience. I loved that bralette and top!

I've recently been learning more about purity culture and I started to realize that only privileged (often upper middle class and white) women can meet the standards. I'm a hispanic woman and I realize that I didn't have the luxury of putting purity and innocence on such a pedestal. As the daughter of lower class immigrants, putting food on the table was a priority and, as a result, my parents treated me more like an adult at an early age. Thanks for your video! It was really insightful and helped me understand all the issues at play around woman and girlhood.

Maybe this has been suggested to you before but I would love to hear your thoughts on the Netflix series Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts. It has an entirely non-white main cast and some really charming characters. Loved this video!

You know what? You're my favorite youtuber now. As someone who grew up and still lives in a South American country with bullshit culture about not being racist and homophobic at all while calling someone black or f*g can still be seen as an insult, this type of conversations are incredibly useful to realize what parts of our culture are so harmful, of course taking in consideration that black experiences in Venezuela have differences with respect to other countries even in the same region. Thank you so much for this.

I’m still waiting for a well done film adaption to the coldest winter ever and the blacker the berry, two amazing novels of coming of age black girlhood.

It breaks my heart when people share their vulnerability and are ignored or made fun of. I love hearing your thoughts and perspectives. Great work on this video.

The incomparbable Alicia Keys said in an interview [talking about her first ablum] that growing up she wouldnt dress in girly clothes and that she perfered walkingout the house in blue jeans and a sweater to avoid being sexualized.

At-least, in my friend group the opinions about the movie are just reiterated by people who have very limited concept of the movie and have only heard things second or third hand. I think there is pressure to be so unproblematic and "woke" and so there is an immediate labeling a movie as support or condemn, with no in between. People are so ready to believe and pass on the popular assessment of a piece of media, so if its been "proven" good by popular sources people stan the hell out of it and get mean to people who criticize it, on the other side (what has happened with cuties) is that people say oh this bad, and to makes sure EVERYONE knows and being critical becomes a symbol of whether you know what your talking about.

I had never really thought about it that way before. I knew that historically, BIPOC women were left out of Feminism, but you put it into a great summarizing concept. Black women were not seen as women in this country, therefor, soft, delicate, submissive, purity culture wasn't even an option for them, they could not even participate in the culture of being an ideal woman. Thank you for this video!

Girl you are killing it lately, your vulnerability when discussing these topics shows mad courage and is super powerful. As a white gay man this was super educational and also has empowered me to think about my own relationship with boyhood. Have my engagement this vid deserves to pop awf. But regardless you should be super proud of this top quality content.

That was a really great point about people consuming black girlhood and trauma as a "learning" moment or a niche, as opposed to just recognizing what they're seeing as one of the many nuances of black girlhood.

I was working on an indie film that I wrote with a black female producer several years ago. The main character was a black woman, as they are in almost all the stories I write, and hers and one other woman had their races stated. Race wasn't necessary for the story but I like to represent black women just being women. The producer says to me that she wanted to change the race of the main character to be more "relatable". I nearly fell off my chair. That was something I would have expected from a white person not a black woman. We are made to relate to white people all the time and if I can relate to them they can find a way to relate to me. That's basically what I told her. The character stayed black.

On the subject of slaves and Christianity, some who came over here were already Christians like the ones who started the Stono Rebellion in 1739. Others were Muslims and yes others practiced various religions popular in West Africa. Sadly, as we all know, the white slavers stripped them of their religions or attempted to and then shoved a very truncated version of Christianity onto them

I didn't watch Cuties and never will, but I do appreciate your perspective on it. I remember being an 11 year old and going into middle school I switch to a school far away so I didn't have to be around my old classmates. Unfortunately I was with one of them who bullied me but the worst it of it was feeling more and more isolated. Speaking about my issues the rare chance I got people would shut me down. My home life was in turmoil and my mother was always withdrawing herself from me and my siblings. I would act out only on the bus, because that was the only attention I got. Eventually my bus driver asked what was wrong with me and it was very triggering. I stopped talking for a while at school. I don't remember anything at home besides yelling, screaming, crying and a brooding dread that was felt throughout. I wanted to be understood, but I felt rejected at every attempt. It was so tired and lonely, I just switched schools the next year. I never talked to my mother about this until I was 24 and she was surprised. She didn't know anything and wanted to know why I didn't tell her about it. I learned that a lot of adults don't want to hear about your issues, they want you to stay silent and docile. To only speak up to make them look good, but otherwise stay out of the way. So many adults overlooked, demeaned and punished me for being a scared little kid. I never thought it was because I was a black girl at the time. It's still so hard to accept that's a lot of what it was. I was black girl, in the south, in poorer black schools and that was it for a lot of adults to not validate my experiences. It was so frustrating being a kid and I felt like I missed so much of what is great about being that young.

One of the first movies I saw on black girlhood was Just Another Girl on the I.R.T and to this day is one of my favorites. The way black girls are thrust into adulthood and then rise to accommodate that notion and become penalized is a trip I’ll never understand but was beautifully told to me in this movie.

Out of interest, have you seen “Girlhood” (Bande de Filles in French) by celine sciamma? It’s about a dark skinned black girl navigating girlhood in modern Paris, I think it came out in 2014 or 15? I thought it was really good from a gender stand point as a trans person, but I’m sure I missed loads as a white person (and it’s directed by a white woman so there may be flaws in representation there idk)

one of your best videos so far and one i've been happily anticipating. brooey deschanel recently did a video about sofia coppola (which also referenced lana's pity party, though far too kindly). and in the comment section there was a lot of conversation about the desire to see black girlhood given the same dreamy, introspective, pastel-hued (and broadly nonjudgemental) treatment that coppola gives her young white protagonists. it's just one of many lenses that isn't even considered for stories about black, indigenous girls of color. but the audience and desire for it is there, the stories and ideas are there, but the gatekeeping is real. and when actors, directors, etc. receive critique about the unbearable whiteness of their work, they back the conversation into this corner of "what am I supposed to do, NOT direct/act/write? I should be allowed to play any tree, etc." when what's needed is just for them to use a tiny spark of their wealth and influence to help other directors, writers, and actors get their stuff made and out into the world. like... rapunzel, sweetie, when someone asks you to let a rope down so they can come save you from your isolated and myopic existence, the answer is not to throw yourself on the floor wailing that you're being attacked for being a princess.

I’m so glad that you brought up cuties in this conversation about black girlhood and womanhood. Even though I haven’t seen the film (I have watched the trailer and read some articles about it) I really appreciate the story the filmmaker is trying to tell about the hypersexualization of young girls especially BIPOC girls. As a black woman I completely relate to the struggle that the black girl in the film is going through, the struggle between innocence and hyper sexuality. I understand that maybe certain aspects didn’t need to be so explicit because it runs the risk of going to far and endangering these young actresses, but I think people really wanted to ride the bandwagon and drag this movie rather than talk about the important social and cultural issues that necessitate this movie’s existence. People want to talk about how bad this movie is rather than talk about the fact that child marriage still exists in part of the us. Or the fact that BIPOC young women and girls are more likely to be victims of sex trafficking due to the socio-economic landscape of our society. No one really wants to fix anything. They just want to bash a movie.

You really outdid yourself with this video! I really appreciate how you contextualized how womanhood, girlhood, and the history of slavery have influenced how black women in film and the entertainment industry have beeb portrayed. I understand that some of the scenes from Cuties were not necessary, but the fact that some people are criticizing something that they haven't even seen is crazy to me.

Abbie Mills from Sleepy hollow was written as being a workaholic who wasn't really attracted to anyone and who was not viewed as attractive. Icabod had every woman within a 20 mile radius flirting with him, but guys didn't flirt with Abbie. Bonnie Bennett was never allowed to grieve on camera. Elana was allowed to mourn her parents and Caroline was allowed to grieve her mother, but Bonnie couldn't mourn her grandmother, mother or father on screen, she always had to do it off screen. Elana always said that she didn't have anyone, but she had 2 guys willing to do anything for her, her brother, her 2 friends and other people, while Bonnie didn't really have anyone. She died multiple times, at one point she was dead for months and no one noticed until they needed something. She had PTSD for a couple of episodes before she had to get over it and -get back to work- help her friends. Riverdale broke up Josie and the Pussycats quickly, never gave black characters story lines, had Josie pop up to sing, then vanish again, then finally got rid of just about every black character. Josie was poisoned at one point and no one checked on her.

What's ironic is that Ben Shapiro believed that Cuties was overhated. Ben the super conservative, thinks that there's a value for the existence of Cuties as a discussion of the standard of how to portray subjects that Cuties presents.

Mara Brock Akil has done an amazing job of showing complex Black women. Since rewatching Moesha and Girlfriends on Netflix,I've been amazed. Watching non racially ambiguous, complex Black women and girls who evolve and grow has been a blessing during quarantine. I've laughed, I've cried, and reflected on my personal choices I made in my 20s and beginning of my 30s. It saddens me that I wouldn't expect fo see a Black girl who looks like Brandy starring on a show in 2020...the show was genius and I hope in the near future racially unambiguous Black girls coming of age. And shout out to Issa Rae, I read that she wants to create a coming of age show about Black girls 🙌🏿

Miley Cyrus naked in a video age 19: everyone loses their shit. Rihanna naked in a video age 19: no one bats an eye.

I’ve been on a Sofia Coppola/Kirsten Dunst movie marathon for a little while now, and when I watched The Beguiled, I hadn’t heard of the story (or other movie) that it was based off of. When I learned about the POC erasure in Coppola’s version, it definitely changed my perspective on the movie and on Coppola herself. I thought her depictions of female struggles were very accurate, not only in this movie but in a few others as well, without considering that she was only displaying one side of the coin. I suppose she was trying to write only what she knows, but in doing so, she inadvertently erased the struggles that a lot of women face, which is especially damaging because those women tend to be less privileged than the ones she writes about. I’ve enjoyed all of her movies that I’ve watched so far, but this video definitely gave me something to think about going forward. Thank you for taking the time to make it.

The only representation of black girls that I’ve seen that actually allowed black girls to be teens and wasn’t stereotypical was Moesha. That’s it, that’s the only show.

I am grateful for your understanding of both the pros and cons of the movie. I wish that people could talk on this issues without othering women that have experience this issues in the life. The discussion begins to feel like the shaming of women that at a very young age experienced and acted on stupid things. I love the portrayal of the mom in the movie very much and i love the message that though the child acted in a stupid ways, she is still a child. She has the right to be treated as one, no matter how she acts or dresses. i also love the portrayal of religion and patriarchy how it affects both the mother and child negatively. I also find some scene heartwarming and funny even when i am not supposed to, like how she was dancing while her mom poured holy water on her. It felt nostalgic. Sorry for the long winded discussion i just have some much analysis and themes popping in my mind.

As a Barb, I do feel like her singing is about as good as other Disney ex acts who have so much more exposure before starting their careers. Not a straight up vocalist but for pop she's on par with a lot of girls out there.

I have to this was a great video. I've been making my way through Sofia Coppola's films and hearing your perspective on the whitewashing in The Beguiled was really insightful. Personally I think the actual story Cuties had to tell certainly had validity in being told, I just think there could have been a less exploitative way of doing so. And I have to also say thanks for the recommendations of Hood Feminism and Pushout. I really enjoy your work.

"And also my boobs look great, so you're welcome." -- Thank you for recognizing and validating my feelings! Also thanks for the awesome education, as always.

All of this in all of these movies/ shows. I couldn't get into Enola Holmes for the same reasons. There was a token black woman character who was strong and used as emotional labour to tell Sherlock off and help the white female characters- hopefully they give character more depth if second film approved by netflix. At the end Enola talks directly to camera and tells us we can do anything- couldn't help but find it condescending abd myopic. She was of a wealthy class and well known family with ties to government, during a time in England were classes were really distinct and obvious, she has a male friend in parliament so friends in power and living alone in London, an expensive and dangerous city for a 16 year old girl- a POC, working class and or migrant woman would've been stopped by the police and made to put hair up and or wear a hat, get off her bike and get back to work hehe. It just took me out of the film. Anne with an E was a better period piece that did exploration of feminism and feminity quite well. The PoC, indigenous characters had depth and back story, non binary issues explored in a time relevant manner and class issues were not ignored...despite it being geared to children. Such a shame it was cancelled.

this video is excellent and you had me hanging on every word. i especially love that you brought up cuties. the whole discourse around it freaked me out initially but after i watched For Harriet and tee noir's videos about it, i decided to watch it. and honestly i realted to it a lot. it reminded me of when i was 11 and 12, watching all sorts of things online and hanging around teens and 20 year olds at the mall to feel cool and trying to be sexy when i didn't even know what i was doing or what it really meant. it made me seriously think about how people just ignore the reality of how the world treats young girls and oversexualizes them to the point where they do it to themselves. the majority of discourse atound the movie is just insane and much bigger then what is shown in it deserves, while STILL ignoring the truth in it

I really enjoyed this! My only constructive criticism is that whenever you put text up with a background for quotes and whatnot it was really hard to read? The white on the light pink just kind of hurt my eyes. Again, really enjoyed it and love the longer video!

This video is great, is very educational and well done! I agree with your points about Cuties, I grew up in Brazil, and the experience showed in the movie remind a lot about my and my friends childhoods, I don't agree how the dance scenes are done (maybe the director could have done in another way) but I understood why she did like that. I was very disappointed with some youtubers that I follow that just called everyone involved in the project pedophiles and praised the very racist politicians that were against the movie. Cuties could have open a lot conversation, it's is a very complex topic, but most people just bashed the movie a product to pedophiles. I really love the video! Truly amazing! 💜

Girl the stones you must have had to share your smut fics with your classmates 👏 👏 👏

I loved this video!! I think that the experience of girlhood and its relation to sexuality is very complex because race and class are important factors on what girls see and understand about women’s role in society. I think we need more and more stories from different points of view but that’s hard to achieve when all nuance is lost (like what happened with Cuties). In any case we stan lady Sybil

5:04 one of the reasons I've heard hypothesized on how virgin until marriage started was as a sort of paternity test in ancient times. If you were a virgin until marriage then you could use that as proof that your husband is the father to any and all of your children, therefore guarranteeing he'll stick around to help you take care of them. And while that seems logical, to someone who sees marriage as marrying into a family, I think it's a little redundant and we all know it's been taken WAY too far. Like yeah back in the day virginity and faithfulness was te only way to keep away from most STDs but like that sentiment has no place in modern times and has historically been used to control women.

Once more, gotta voice my appreciation for your content. Your style makes everything super easy to understand.

Facts, thank you! I'm tired of getting into internet arguments about Cuties. You, Harriet, and Tee have said it all.

this video could not have come at the right time because lately i just have not been seeing Black womanhood and girlhood explored at all in tv and movies and just even with the exclusion of our existence in the world of said media. i was watching a bunch of new trailers for movies and one after another lacked a black woman in them im tired. and the ONLY time we get to enjoy black womanhood/girlhood is when it is written by black women and again its even rare for black women to be given budgets to make amazing content like this. im very angry/frustrated and idk all over the place the way we are just n0n-existence in media unless we a sidekick or caricatures. as a black girl(she/they) i just want to see my experiences of girlhood/womanhood on screen w/out trauma. yes i had some issues with selah and the spades(the storyline), i had fun viewing her character, an a-sexual(from what i understood her to be) girl who, yes is thriving and boss but folds when it comes to her relationship with her mother(which i wish they could've explored more) because i somewhat relate to that. that was amazing to see. and also seeing a black girl, like visibly black, that isnt mixed race or light skinned be the main character cause if you do see a black woma in a show best believe she WILL be mixed/light skinned europeans features etc. i'm sick and tired of it truly we come in all shapes and sizes & we experince the world in cool and different was and why cant i able to see us shown in that way in the media. whewwww needed a space to vent and thank you for this video. i love your content. 💗💗

As a parent, my son's mom demands I not involve my 9 year old in what she considers adult conversation. One day she wanted a night off and I said your mom works hard and wants a day off. She was deeply offended. Your video helps me understand.

That's a really good way of putting it: "I stan white excellence."

Thanks for the video! You started wrapping up and I had to check the time. Fifty minutes just flew by. Thanks, too, for your insight into Cuties. I’m not into dance movies or Toddlers and Tiaras type shows, so it wasn’t even on my radar until I saw some headlines dragging it. And the reviews hit some buttons of mine so I’m afraid I didn’t dig much deeper than that. I’m glad you pushed back on that. I trust and (usually) agree with your taste in entertainment, so I’ll give it a try.

This video was extremely eye opening for me, being someone who has no experience with either blackness or girlhood. Thank you💕

I LOVE that you brought up that in media our lives are basically showing nothing but struggles and we all can’t relate to that. Our lives have struggles but we can be and are capable of being happy and having good things. We just remember our history and where we come from. I don’t want other races of people to see me as a downtrodden black woman in America that always needs a hug. I’m up and down in my life like everybody is and want to be treated as such. I’m not this magical mystical being either that can take traumas over and over and just somehow be okay after it all. I’m human and that’s how I want to be treated.

Fantastic video. This video has changed my mind on alot of my understanding about black female identity as a black guy. Once again your analysis very indepth and informative. 👍

Amazing video! If you're not sick of the topic yet, I read a great book in college called "Girl Groups, Girl Culture" by Jacqueline Warwick. It's about 60s girl groups like the Shirelles and the Ronettes, but it dealt a lot with Black girlhood. It was pretty pricy last time I looked at buying a copy, but I hope you can find it because it was such an insightful read! This is my favorite quote, which is nominally about how boys and girls consume media and the differences of how they're catered to by society at large, but I think it's also indicative of white audiences vs BIPOC: "Terms such as ‘child,’ 'youth,’ and 'teenager,’ while nominally gender-neutral, are generally assumed to be male, and female experiences of youth must always be distinguished as such with gender-specific pronouns. Entertainments and experiences created for children invariably assume male experience as the norm, so that little girls watching a film such as Bambi must perform a cross-gender identification in order to sympathize with the fawn and his forest friends. From an early age, girls become adept at this kind of flexible identification with role models, while boys are rarely presented with an opportunity to do so. Thus, girls read Hardy Boys mysteries as well as Nancy Drew, and learn to enjoy action movies as well as the 'chick flicks’ that make their boyfriends squirm." P.S. Your boobs look incredible but they only highlight your incredible brain!!!

I'm so glad I watched this video. When you say that even though you don't necessarily want white women to tell black women's stories, but that black women can (and should) still be included the stories being told...ooooomg. Holy shit. The wave of relief and clarity I felt. I have been briain building a historical-ish fantasy novel for going on 6 years now and one of my major hangups was how to write (and even if I should be writing) one of my lead characters as a mixed race (black/white) woman. Even in a pretty out-there fantasy world it still felt wierd to be trying to write from that perspective because I am just about as white as you can get. I constantly go back and forth with myself about wanting my characters to be diverse, but also feeling like it's not my place to write characters that I might mess up (yes even in a fantasy context completely outside of our universe). This might be the encouragement in need to just go for it.

This is a great video. My sister and I have fought over whether Cuties should have been made or not and you made me not sound crazy. Thank you!

i was so interested in watching ladybird after hearing all the praise for it and how unbelievably relatable it was for everyone. i watched it and i didnt get it, and i asked my friend, did i miss something?? and she was like, no, i think it's just that that we're not white. and i should've known that my south asian immigrant parent having self wouldn't have seen myself in that movie. but i was told that it was this universal coming of age movie for girls and their moms, when really it was much narrower

You said you're proud of yourself and you really really really should be! I enjoyed this immensely and it was incredibly educational and well written and thought out and it does show. It may have taken me twice as long to watch it (kids yo) but it was more than worth it. :)

I watched every ad because this was a more quality conversation than I have found in life, college, and society as a whole. Keep doing your amazing work!

I'm a cis, het, white, middle class male who only found you because you did a video about MtG (thank the algorithm for that recommendation). I watched and felt challenged and will almost certainly rewatch again to challenge myself further. This was incredibly insightful and informative and thank you for making it.

10 seconds in and gotta say: the FIT. amazing

This video was everything and thanks for the book recommendations at the end. I'll definitely buy those at the local black owned bookstore as soon as I can.

I was just thinking about how my recommended videos section was looking dry... and then I refreshed and saw this. SO EXCITED!!! Love your videos

just started, and you look AMAZING

When you started discribing your expirience at the end I felt like I got a epiphany. I am latin woman and live in Latin America and thought that some things didn't apply to us since we are all from the same place very mixed and stuff but when you look at the reality is like that even here. They teach us to behave and dress very covered be prepared to be hurt and harassed by everyone. And that trust should never be given because you are by the media and other people liable because of what you wear and how you behave.

I hated the reaction to Be Careful! It's my fav track. It almost caused a guy to crash his bike when I rolled into the parking lot blasting it. I guess he wasn't expecting to hear about revenge fellatio that day 🤣🤣🤣

this is incredible work, seriously. it’s a talent to be able to communicate these ideas with nuance and ease and you hit it out of the park. hope you’re doing well and take care after this project!!

i started watching and didn't know that it was going to end with cuties and im so so happy that it did, because I hated that not a lot of people were meaningfully engaging with that movie and talking about how it's a childhood movie, particularly black working class movie. as soon as you mentioned adultification i thought "oh, cuties", because that movie really left that impression on me - and not just because of the sexual angle, but very much also in how the main character was taking care of her siblings and grocery shopping, etc... going to watch the videos you mentioned, because i want more nuanced conversations about it, thanks for the recs!

As a Black woman, I must say that this is an excellent video. Thank you! I'm also loving the coming together of black female youtubers assembling together like Voltron (it's the first thing that came to my mind!) to amplify each others voices by giving credit to each other, (I came here from Harriana Hook) and consistently using sound scholarship to intelligently discuss the meaning of Black Girlhood / Womanhood. My mother integrated a school in the deep south when she was a child and no one thought of surrounding her with a team of therapists, doctors or mental health professionals to make sure she maintained her childhood. It's so sad. She's in her 60's and says it affected her mentally.

When I saw how long this video was I was a bit taken aback. The reality is that, it went by way too fast.

so incredibly done and insightful!! thank you for always enthralling me with your videos 💗💗 ps tee and kim's videos on cuties are also my favourites on the topic, their content and yours is my favourite to watch because of how well informed and researched it is :)

as someone who was exposed to sexual and nsfw content when i was literally 10 because i got a tablet and my parents didn't watch what i looked at online i found cuties to be really relatable and interesting and i've also been being called a pedo for that and i really truly don't see why i felt really seen by the movie... the young girls behaved so much like i did when i was that age alone in my room

I love the research you put into this and all the examples pulled from, the work you put into these videos really really shows and I love learning more about media through these sorts of video essays, honestly better than half of the book discussions I had in college tbh.

Thanks for the excellent video!

This video is so well done!! I’ve added it to my favorites in women’s education. It’s excellently researched, thought out, written, edited. And now I have a new reading list too! Thank you for all your hard work. I’m so grateful for you and your care in making meaningful and quality contributions to our collective. Much love!!! ♥️♥️♥️

I just finished this video and I’m subscribing, I’ve been searching for something like this. You really captured so many things I’ve been thinking/talking about for awhile and put it into a video. The part about why society sees black women/femmes the way they do because of slavery really opened up a whole new conversation. Truly an amazing video !! Thank you for all of your effort, I appreciate it so much!

White dude here seeing my ugly privilege, in my past where I'm excused, clear through my mid 20s, for "immaturity" when doing dumb stuff (like getting caught by a cop trespassing while "urban exploring" a shuttered factory). I'm angry others didn't get the grace I did. I don't really know how to help make this better for the future. I don't want another Child of Color to get disadvantaged or discarded for the same kind of dumb mistakes where I was just dusted off. Thank you so much for this thorough and professional dig into childhoods and teenager years so different from my own. Your channel is rad! Sharing this video.

This was a really well put together and passionate video. I had honestly been really excited for Cuties when I saw the trailer and read how the director based it off of her own life experiences because I feel like we don't have conversations in media about how the world we live in is sexualizing young girls (esp young girls of color) and having them sexualize themselves for attention and validation at what seems like increasingly younger ages. While there are some issues with the film & I agree with you that a discussion about what should we ask child actors to depict can be had but after the Netflix marketing snafu seeing everyone completely write off the film as pedophilic and anyone advocating for it as pedophile apologists was really disheartening.

The Cuties reception thing was like a trainwreck to watch.

A must watch for sure. I looked at the time and thought "o.k. imma do this in chunks" but 15 mins in the knowledge receptors were recepting and ended up watching all the way through. Thank you for your incredible analysis!